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In this last week before the finale, the teams head to Thailand, where they run into a Roadblock involving the fending off of enthusiastic, hungry monkeys, and if that doesn't rule, I just don't know what does. But first, Ray and Yolanda and BJ and Tyler try for the Fast Forward, which Ray and Yolanda abandon once it turns out to involve eating a giant bowl of bugs. BJ and Tyler finish it, though somewhat slowly, and they land on the mat in first place. Joseph and Monica, delayed by a problem with bus scheduling, fall behind to the point where Ray and Yolanda's failed FF attempt doesn't even put them all that far behind. At the Detour, Monica and Joseph are the only ones to choose an option involving the carrying of clay pots, and when Monica loses her cool yet again, they are surprisingly eliminated, meaning that the final three teams are Eric and Jeremy (no surprise), BJ and Tyler (no surprise), and Ray and Yolanda -- who have managed to barely avoid elimination more times than any team ever, just about. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on Steal This Cab: The final four teams left Perth, Australia. BJ and Tyler decided that the love-spreading, funny, ironic thing to do was to stir up trouble by convincing Joseph that Eric was trying to steal his stuff. And, as George Carlin would say, people always want to take the good stuff. The curvy stuff. The blonde stuff. Eric and Jeremy canceled a couple of cabs, for which MoJo took the blame, despite the fact that Joseph appeared to be more like...a complicit spectator. While Eric and Jeremy wound up with no cab at all as a result of a righteous karmic beatdown, BJ and Tyler managed to get to the Yield marker in time to Yield MoJo for something they didn't so much do, despite the fact that MoJo was the first team behind the American Bored-ouins at the time and therefore the least strategically useful Yield target. Skydiving happened, leading to an overdose of "T-Tow!" (Recommended T-Tow Daily Allowance: Z-Zero.) Monica intermittently lost it, but when she and Joseph picked a better Detour than the Choad Family, she found it again, and they wound up in a three-way footrace to avoid last place with said Family and all its choadish members. Eric and Jeremy came in first in the footrace (second overall behind a surging Ray and Yolanda), and MoJo was . BJ decided that of the two roads that diverged, he would take the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference. He and Tyler came in last. Unfortunately, it was a non-elimination round, so the same four teams are still here. Man, there have been two-term presidents and cases of foot fungus that are easier to get rid of than BJ and Tyler. Who will be eliminated...?Credits. Wow, I miss Dave and Lori. [BOMP.]
Commercials. Wow, I do not miss the roaming gnome.
To underscore the theme of growing competition, this episode opens with a shot of bugs fighting, followed by one of crocodiles fighting. So as you now know, fighting takes place everywhere in nature, including the animal kingdom, as well as the Ivy League. Phil reminds that we are in the Australian Outback, home of aborigines and the Bloomin' Onion. Crikey! Serene (or formerly serene) Lake Bennett was the tenth pit stop, at which teams arrived, blah dee blah, mandatory rest period, no idea what's in store, might be a giant man-eating turtle, might be hunting through 4000 bowls of cereal to find the one with the red marble in it, blah blah blah. Phil wonders whether Ray and Yolanda can keep the big 'mo in spite of the big MoJo, and whether said MoJo and BJ and Tyler will distract themselves to the point of the first-ever joint elimination, an event that would make many people mightily happy at this point.
1:13 PM. Ray and Yolanda. The clue they rip tells them to fly to Bangkok, Thailand. Yay, I love it when they go to Thailand! Thailand has beaches and tuk-tuks! Per Phil, this is a journey of about 7000 miles. In Bangkok, they'll take a taxi to a bus terminal, then take a bus about 97 miles to Lopburi, where they'll find the Three Spire Pagoda. It's a Buddhist temple now inhabited by a zillion monkeys. Want more proof the race is getting easier? Yesterdays rats are today's monkeys. Anyway, the pagoda is where they'll find the clue. As Ray and Yolanda leave, she drops off a pair of pants for BJ, which she leaves on the windshield. What? Seriously, what? Why would you want to help somebody else at this point in the race? Why? He's not going to die; it's just going to take him a while to beg for pants. He's half-naked, not dehydrated. Why speed him up? It makes no sense to me whatsoever, this giving of gifts. When you have literally depantsed the competition, you don't take it back. Yeesh. Ray talks about how "it's game time" and everything, but it clearly isn't game time, because at game time, you don't hand over part of your advantage. Boo! Yolanda says that they'll have to use both their physical abilities and their "mental skills." Like not giving away their stuff to people who will otherwise have to spend more time obtaining things.
1:20 AM. Eric and Jeremy. You'll notice, incidentally, that Ray and Yolanda didn't miss by much creating what would have been a four-way crazy-ass race for the mat. At any rate, as Jeremy reads the clue, where it says, "One team has zero dollars," he adds "and no pants." Hee. And then they leave a pair of sandals on BJ and Tyler's car. Boo, again. Boo! These teams almost deserve to lose, just for that dumb-ass move. "It's a nice thing to do, just because he's a person," Jeremy says. And...of course he's a person, but he's a person whose in a competition, and if he has to wait a while and find shoes on his own, he's not going to get hurt; it's just going to take longer. Why would that be something another team would want to ameliorate. Eric, for his part, says they're just going to try to be simple-minded, as they have been up to this point. Play to your strengths! I think it would be awesome if, the last time they left the mat, they were forced to stomp out their departure time, like a horse doing math, rather than having it displayed on the screen.
1:21 AM. Joseph and Monica. They read their clue, and Joseph also adds the "and no pants," so either this is a running joke that was invented at the pit stop, or it was printed on the clue. If it's the latter? Awesome job, clue-printers. As they run, Joseph uses an exaggerated Charlie Chan accent to say, "You go to Thailand! Oieee!" Man, rarely has an episode opened with so much "boo"-worthy behavior in such a short time. Joseph explains that they knew the Yield was personal, so they "definitely want to drive [BJ and Tyler] into the ground." They elect not to leave any offerings on the car, unsurprisingly. Monica says that BJ and Tyler are playing "mind games" because they fear the greatness of the MoJo. They wind up just behind Eric and Jeremy, whom they wind up passing, which Eric and Jeremy mostly think is stupid, since all they're doing is going to the airport, where a thirty-second difference in the middle of the night is unlikely to spell the difference between success and failure.
1:22 AM. BJ and Tyler. They are enthused about the idea of flying to Bangkok. And they also read the "and no pants," so props to whomever wrote the clue. We are given a gratuitous shot of BJ's legs, which I didn't need. I believed the clue! Tyler adds that BJ has no shoes, of course, also. They go to the lost and found, and it appears that they perhaps get some shoes. BJ is very happy to see, when they get to their car, that Yolanda has coughed up her precious purple pants. Tyler interviews that losing all their stuff "powers [them] up." BJ: "Monica and Joseph didn't leave us anything because they're not giving people." And me without my hip boots. "I think MoJo has a date with...not being in the race anymore," BJ says. Wow, it hurts when you realize in the middle that you don't know what you're going to say, doesn't it? Happens to me all the time. That's why I'm better in print than at parties. "We've had that date before," Tyler says, "but it stood us up." Do you suppose they hear how lame that sounds? Or do you suppose they're able to live happily oblivious? I kind of hope it's the latter.
Darwin Airport. Ray and Yolanda find nothing happening, but Yolanda gets on the phone and is told about a flight to Bangkok via Sydney that arrives at 11:00 PM. She makes reservations. Joseph and Monica arrive . They find a guy to ask. The Choad Family follows. "Let's go harass MoJo," says someone -- Jeremy, I think. All the teams meet up inside. When Ray tells BJ and Tyler that there's nothing leaving until about 6:00 AM, BJ says that he and Tyler are going to go beg for a while. Tyler uses "T-Tow" as a word for "goodbye," like it's becoming his own private "Aloha," and then he and BJ are off. Ray says that it looks like BJ enjoys wearing Yolanda's running pants. And then he adds, "That's funny, man." Because really, what can you do when a hippie is wearing your girlfriend's pants? It's not a situation that calls for indignation, but you can't not react. You sort of have to imply that you always imagined it would be like this; a hippie in your girlfriend's pants. In other news, keep in mind that BJ and Tyler are bolting from the airport before they even get plane reservations. Why they wouldn't at least go inside and take care of that before begging is a mystery to me. Joseph and Monica, on the other hand, are reserving their flight as we speak. They're on the same flight via Sydney as Ray and Yolanda. Eric and Jeremy come up and ask if the guy is helping them get tickets, and Monica says no. "He's just looking up porn on the internet." This doesn't surprise Eric at all, of course. He knows how it is. Monica makes the point that if stupid Eric and Jeremy hadn't given BJ and Tyler shoes, he wouldn't have been allowed in the airport. Which is true. Because she has a point there, Eric lies that the flip-flops aren't from them anyway. There just aren't that many teams left, Eric; she's not going to believe that they came from the Flip-Flop Fairy. (Wow, that is so totally the name of my new children's book. No stealing!) Monica tells Eric and Jeremy to scoot while she gets her tickets. Eric and Jeremy go off and get on the phone, where they book tickets through Sydney.
BJ and Tyler are in Darwin. "So what do you think, I should do no pants, or gay pants?" BJ asks. As if any gay person would endorse the look of BJ in those pants. They go in and are immediately loud and obnoxious, with BJ shouting "People of Darwin!" in what looks to be a club or a bar or something where people are just trying to relax. It's this, this assumption that you can stroll in and insistently make yourself the center of attention, and you're so awesome that everyone will thank you for interrupting their previously meaningless lives...it's that quality that irks me about these guys. People start giving them money, which can happen when you're creating a spectacle and people kind of want you to go away. Outside, they beg for some more. One woman starts chanting, "Take it off, take it off," so BJ takes off his shirt, at which point she starts chanting, "Put it on, put it on." Well, he deserved that one. In fact, he deserved more than that one. On the way back to the airport, they congratulate themselves for getting so much money.
Darwin Airport. Eric and Jeremy get tickets. They don't hesitate to tell BJ and Tyler about the flight, but the flight everybody else is on is "completely full." Everyone else boards the flight. BJ is self-aware enough to mention that he and Tyler have wasted a preposterous amount of time dicking around. "It looks like today, the nice guys finish last," Tyler says, devoid of irony as usual.
Commercials. As usual, the team everyone voted for as the Awesome Team Of The Week came in last. Boo!
When we return from commercials, BJ and Tyler are still trying to get a flight. Their almost incomprehensible string of luck continues unabated as seats on a previously full flight become available, going via Perth and arriving at 10:45 PM, 15 minutes before everyone else. Oh, yes. Really. So by fucking up, they're gaining an advantage. On the plane, Tyler attributes their good luck to how much "soul" and "heart" they have, which is how you know he's not going to get less annoying any time soon.
The Amazing Map shows us that the teams are all on their way to Thailand, although they both have to take really, really annoying routes by heading way down to the bottom of Australia before heading back to Bangkok. Phil reminds us about the bus terminal they have to find when they get to Bangkok. And then we are in Bangkok, and it is night, and the first flight is arriving. The flight, that is, carrying the first three teams. Their flight is landing 45 minutes early. I've never been so happy to see Eric and Jeremy do well, that's for sure. Nobody knows where BJ and Tyler are; Joseph hopes they're begging for clothes in Darwin. Eric and Jeremy get in a cab for the terminal, followed by Ray and Yolanda, then MoJo. Joseph thinks their driver is "shady." Good instinct he's having, there.
Bus terminal. Eric and Jeremy get inside, and they learn that the earliest bus leaves at midnight. They clamber on board. Ray and Yolanda follow, and they get on the same bus. When MoJo gets there, their driver takes them inside, and he tells them that all the ticket counters are closed. It's not clear why he would have it in for them unless he thinks they're going to take the cab to Lopburi, so I guess that's what he thinks if he's pulling this much of a scam. Convinced that the bus station doesn't even open to sell tickets until 5:00 in the morning, MoJo heads for a hotel room. That is not good news. That's why you don't want to allow people with a possible axe to grind to tell you what to do.
The first bus, with Eric and Jeremy and Ray and Yolanda, leaves at midnight. MoJo heads for a hotel.
The second flight, which has been delayed, lands, and BJ and Tyler get a cab to the bus terminal. When they get there, they get tickets on a 5:00 AM bus. Then at 4:00 AM, MoJo heads out of their hotel. BJ and Tyler, meanwhile, wait at the bus terminal to see who else shows up. But outside, they learn that the bus is actually leaving now, so they get on board. Their bus leaves without MoJo, who is heading inside. There, they get tickets on a 5:20 AM bus, which they confirm is the first one leaving. Of course, the lady means that it's the first one leaving starting now, while Joseph thinks it's the first one leaving today. Not so! They get on the last bus, and Monica is unhappy that there are no other teams around. Joseph tells her not to worry, and to assume they're doing it right. I don't know when he got so calm.
Eric and Jeremy and Ray and Yolanda arrive at Lopburi and get cabs to the pagoda. When they get there, however, they discover that the thing doesn't open until 8:00 AM. It's now 5:45, so they anticipate seeing everyone by the time it opens. As it gets light, we are treated to all sorts of monkey shots, including a great one of a monkey messing with the clue box. Eric comments that the monkeys have a good life and "don't have to go to work." This lifestyle appeals to your beach-bum types. "If we win a million dollars, we'll be monkeys," Jeremy remarks. Monkeys everywhere blanch. He says he's going to go get a better look at the monkeys. Yolanda thinks the monkeys "have germs," but Jeremy offers one of them a Pringle anyway. Ray comments that the monkeys look like "rats on steroids." As Jeremy stands by a fence, one of the monkeys leaps over and lands on his legs, clinging to his pants. "I think this monkey likes me," he says. Hey, he wanted somebody to be all over his shorts; it just happens to be monkeys and not women. Then we see that Eric has a monkey on his back (hey!) as well.
Lopburi. BJ and Tyler arriving. They catch the other teams at the pagoda. At 8:00 AM, the gates open and everyone goes and finds the clue box, with a hippie observing that MoJo is still MIA. The clue first features a Travelocity envelope that says, "Open at Pit Stop." There is also a Fast Forward. Phil tells us that this is the second and last FF, and that in this one, the teams take a two-mile taxi ride to a restaurant where they will have to eat a big bowl of crickets and grasshoppers. The first team to eat the whole bowl will get the FF. Large amounts of disgusting food! Welcome back; no one missed you. Both BJ and Tyler and Ray and Yolanda decide to try for the FF, and they get in taxis.
Back at the clue box, Eric and Jeremy open a Roadblock clue. This Roadblock has maybe the best title ever: "Prepare Monkey Feast." That is very close to one of the names that my pub quiz used to use, believe it or not, before we became "Third Place Dick." The feast has to be prepared in a particular, very ceremonial fashion, and when it's done, the team will get its clue. Eric takes it for his team. Jeremy dryly tells us that this was a good Roadblock for Eric. "I've seen him prepare meals for monkeys very often, and he really knows what he's doing." When did I start finding him funny? Oh, right. When I got sick of BJ and Tyler to the point of requiring medical attention.
In the BJ and Tyler cab, they are arriving at the restaurant in the lead. Meanwhile, Yolanda is accidentally awesome when she wonders aloud in her cab what the FF will be. "An after-school favorite...a game of football? Cricket?" Yes, she said "cricket." BJ and Tyler are presented with the big bowls of crickets -- the have one each -- and they are a little disheartened, if only by the volume. Ray and Yolanda arrive soon after. The teams try to convince each other that they might not want to do this, since MoJo wasn't even at the Roadblock yet when they left. Yolanda assures Tyler she can eat "anything fried." Heh. BJ and Tyler get their bowls first, and they get started. Ray and Yolanda get their bowl , with Ray noting, "They got a two-cricket headstart." Heh. Yolanda eats the first one and isn't sure she can eat an entire bowl. Ray reminds her that MoJo might not even be there, and they can still go back. She's up for that, so they bail. It's as un-stupid of a decision of that kind as there can be, probably. After all, only one team is going to get it, and if you think it might not be you, it's in your interests to bail sooner rather than later. Quitting is generally a bad idea, but if you're going to do it, do it quickly. They cab it back to the pagoda, hoping they're still in front of MoJo.
When MoJo arrives at the pagoda, they're very unhappy to learn that they're actually the last team to get there. Joseph takes the Roadblock. "We're out of it," Monica moans. I guess they're picking up the slack from Fran and Barry, as far as predicting their own demise. Jeremy wants to know where they've been, and Monica says they were under the impression that the place opened at 4:50 AM. "What time was your bus?" she wonders. "Ours was at midnight," he says plainly. Joseph wants to know where everybody else is, and Jeremy says they both went for the FF. "You're going to be ahead of one person if you hurry," he correctly says. Monica tells Jeremy she thought she and Joseph were in first place. "Man, did you think wrong," he says. I like a guy who doesn't pull his punches, especially when it comes to telling the snooty that they have nothing to be so snooty about.
Eric is still cutting and arranging fruit, which I'm sure is not what he saw himself doing when he pictured how studly he would seem while racing on television. He mentions to Joseph that some of the stuff kind of stinks, although apparently, the monkeys like it. Ray and Yolanda soon return, and Yolanda takes the feast-making Roadblock. Ray opines to those present that doing the entire bowl of bugs is going to take BJ and Tyler a decent amount of time. Monkeys steal part of Yolanda's feast in progress, and she scolds them. It turns out that the monkeys are not so much intending to wait patiently to be fed. I've seen that kind of moment play out in college dining halls.
BJ and Tyler, eating crickets and grasshoppers. Tyler decides to get up and dance around. Idiot. "I thought I ordered pad thai!" BJ yells. At least he has that level of good judgment, because pad thai? Delicious.
Eric and Yolanda and Joseph work on the monkey feast. The monkeys continue to approach, interrupting and stealing parts of the feast as it's being built. As a matter of fact, the monkeys are practically swarming, which makes it difficult to keep up. Eric finishes first, and he moves his feast table over so that it can be attacked by the monkeys in earnest, and then he and Jeremy can leave. The clue tells them to take a ferry to Koh Kret Island. Phil tells us that on the island, they will then go to the Buddha Garden, which is a "local meditation center," and search for a clue while undoubtedly destroying any sense of calm that the place could ever have mustered. Eric and Jeremy get a taxi and leave.
BJ and Tyler, eating bugs. Tyler is very full. He thinks he wouldn't like to have any more bugs, but it turns out that the bugs are more of a requirement than an option, at this point.
Joseph and Yolanda are still working. Their partners cheer for them. Joseph finishes, and he presents his feast to the very hungry monkeys. He and Monica leave for the ferry. Yolanda then finishes, and they leave as well. She did well with that task, actually, which is a good thing, given the fact that she's pretty much stuck doing all their Roadblocks, I think. It's a good thing she didn't have some kind of feast-making trauma earlier in life that would have made it difficult for her to participate. They recovered nicely from that failed FF attempt. Ray is sure that the hippies are struggling with the bugs.
Aaand on that note...we cut to BJ throwing up into a bucket. Hey, no purging! That's a rule! Tyler floats the idea of giving up and quitting. "We're in big trouble," he and BJ agree. But since we're going to the commercials, you know that it will turn out to be meaningless, and you are right.
Commercials. If Apple thinks that PCs are bad for listening to music on a player, they need to listen to my new Creative Zen Vision:M, because shut up, Apple people.
BJ and Tyler are continuing to eat crickets when we return. They are at least making a show of being in great distress, which I'm confident the show appreciates. BJ is motivating himself by thinking about the money a lot, which I'm sure works better than thinking about eating pieces of crickets a lot. One of them comments that at the bottom of the bowl, "it's all legs and exoskeletons." Props for the use of the word "exoskeleton," but still: eeeew. BJ finishes his crickets, and the lady comes over and pronounces that he's done. Now, we are down to Tyler, who still has quite a bit left.
Eric and Jeremy hop on a ferry for Koh Kret. Jeremy terms it "a unique experience for myself," which I guess qualifies as his moment of enlightenment. When they're off the ferry, they find their way to the garden to search for their clue. "Man, this is beautiful, dude," Jeremy observes. They find their way to the clue box, and when they pull the clue, it's a Detour. Phil explains that the choices here are Move It or Altar It. In Move It, you move 72 clay pots through the crowded streets of this chaotic marketplace by lining them up on boards that you will then carry. This is the task for the more coordinated. In Altar It, you make a shrine to Buddha, using parts to assemble it and then covering a statue in gold leaf. When it's finished, you get your clue. This is the task for the detail-oriented. Really, that's what Phil says!
Eric and Jeremy take Altar It, mentioning that they weren't happy with their choice of a strongly physical Detour. Meanwhile, MoJo approaches the ferry and heads for Koh Kret. Ray and Yolanda get on a ferry close behind. MoJo hunts around for a clue, as Ray and Yolanda run into Eric and Jeremy as the former are leaving the garden and the latter are arriving. Ray and Yolanda also choose Altar It. Monica and Joseph are still wandering, and they're fortunate to run into Ray and Yolanda, because Yolanda advises them: "Deep in the back," so that they can find it. Again, I don't know why she's helping, but...whatever. They find the clue and decide to do the Buddha shrine, because they're pretty sure they know where it is.
Tyler is almost done with his crickets. He finally finishes and is told that he's done. They get the directions to the pit stop, which is the Marble Temple in Bangkok. "You have cricket on your face," Tyler says, trying and failing to be as funny as "Just that stupid goatee." They head for the pit stop.
Eric and Jeremy arrive at the shrine and pick up what seems to be some kind of shrine-making kit. They observe the gold-leafing for a while, and then they get going. Ray and Yolanda get started . Monica and Joseph arrive, but when they see that both of the other teams are already working, they decide that they need to do the other Detour, because if they do this one, they have no chance of getting out of last place. I think that's probably the right call -- you can't just be third in line, because you're too close to the pit stop, and this isn't a task where you're likely to make up a lot of time.
Eric and Jeremy and Ray and Yolanda continue working. MoJo arrives at the pottery factory. She finds a long board with pots all along it to be very heavy. They need directions, among other things. I'm also concerned about all the broken pots they're leaving along the way. I hope nobody's feet get cut. It's one of those Tasks of Extreme Tort Liability that always make me so nervous.
BJ and Tyler head for the pit stop, congratulating themselves for their wonderful comeback from a state of having no pants and no money. Of course, they received free stuff from other teams, which doesn't really make them awesome. They arrive at the temple and head for the mat. They run to Phil, who welcomes them as team number one. He asks them for their Travelocity clue, and he tells them that if they have a golden gnome in their envelope, they will get a great prize. But they have no golden gnome, so there is no prize. Too bad, suckers. Maybe one of the other teams will just hand theirs over to you as an act of generosity. In any event, Phil tells them they'll be in the final. Every freaking episode. Yeesh.
Monica and Joseph carry pots. The pots are very heavy. They count as they complete the first trip, and they have 46 pots so far. So they don't even need to bring that many the second time. This should get easier, you know? Easier!
As Eric and Jeremy and Ray and Yolanda work on the shrine, Yolanda asks the boys why they chose this task. They remark that they do a lot of gold-leafing in their down time, and that they used to hold gold-leafing parties "to get a lot of girls." A crowing cock is inserted by your funny, funny editing staff as it occurs to me that their little subtitle really should not say "Friends." It should say "Wing Man/Wing Man." Both teams keep working. Eric and Jeremy are a bit ahead, but when they submit their guy the first time, they learn that they need to flatten down the gold leaf. Ray and Yolanda keep working. Eric and Jeremy finally get finished, and they receive their clue. It sends them to the pit stop, so they're on their way. Phil does another entire introduction of the pit stop, which seems kind of...weird. Eric and Jeremy get on a ferry.
Ray and Yolanda are also not done, and are told that they need to flatten down the gold a little better. Your gold is raggedy, people! Get with the program! Don't get eliminated! I want there to be someone I can root for without hating myself!
MoJo. Pots. Monica crosses herself and picks up the pots. Joseph says that he has four extras, but she drops her entire board worth of pots, so they're going to have to go back, like, a lot. She collapses into a heap of weepiness.
Commercials. That allergy bee is kind of harassing.
When we return, MoJo drops off the second load of pots and has to go back for a third. They're only seven pots short. Joseph tells her not to feel bad, as she frets that she feels like she let them both down. It's nice that he's finding it in his heart to give her a little bit of a break here at the end.
Eric and Jeremy are having a lot of trouble finding a taxi to the pit stop. Ray and Yolanda are having a lot of trouble with the leaf. They eventually get done, so they leave, happy that they're not too far behind Eric and Jeremy, and hoping that they're a bit in front of MoJo. Speaking of whom, Joseph is carrying the entire last load of pots, because Monica has allowed feelings of uselessness to translate into actual uselessness. When they arrive at the boat where they drop them off, they finally get their clue. They leave for the pit stop.
Eric and Jeremy still can't find a taxi. Aha -- there's one, at last. Eric thinks they ran about two miles to find one. When Ray and Yolanda get off their ferry, however, they seem to find a taxi right away. MoJo are on the ferry, with him insisting they're "never out of it." They get a taxi. In the car he dabs her eye with his shirt as he tells her that they did their best. Aww. That's pretty cute. It's also more effective than, say, ordering her not to be upset.
Everyone is very tense in the cabs as the last three teams head for the pit stop. MoJo just hopes that the gold-leafing took a long time. Unsurprisingly, the first team to get to the temple is Eric and Jeremy. They run to the mat and meet up with Phil. Welcome, you are team number two. They produce their envelope, but they don't have the golden gnome either. They are, however, in the finals for the million dollars, which is the least surprising plot development of this season or any other.
Ray and Yolanda. MoJo. Ray and Yolanda! MoJo! Both teams pull up to the pit stop. Both teams are running. Ray and Yolanda are stopped on their way into the temple while she is told that she needs to cover her arms. Just another little perk of being a girl, along with so many other things. She's given a little shirt to put on, which she does. "I want this shirt," she comments. It's good that she can hang on to her priorities even during tense races to the mat. Races come and go; a cute shirt from an exotic locale is forever.
Aaaaand...it's Ray and Yolanda, landing as team number three. Not only that, but they have the gold gnome. They're going to be riding around on a yacht in Sydney, and they're also going to spend the night at a luxury hotel, so that will be nice. It would have been wasted on BJ and Tyler, who would have spent the entire time "T-Tow!"-ing the concierge, or Eric and Jeremy, who would have complained the entire time about the lack of dancing girls. Phil tells them that they're in the finals. Ray says he always thought they'd get to the finals, and Yolanda interviews that Ray is her pillar of strength. I, personally, cannot believe they did not get eliminated in any of the four billion situations in which they got lost. It's nice to know you don't really need a sense of direction in order to win.
Joseph and Monica land on the mat. You are last, and you are eliminated. She starts to cry, and Joseph tells her not to. She interviews through tears that he's her rock, and he tells Phil on the mat that he's proud of her. That, again. She says that their relationship is much better, and Joseph says they'll definitely be getting married and having a family. And while she's giving birth, he'll tell her to stop crying and getting upset. Just kidding! I'm sure that won't happen! Much!
And now, all three teams promise that they're the ones who are going to win. Jeremy, interestingly, comments that they do their thing, and Ray and Yolanda do their thing, and BJ and Tyler "follow everybody." Seems to be a lot of that opinion floating around. BJ, who has seen two episodes in which this was said, comments that "it is on like Donkey Kong." You are no Loud Pushy Frank, sir. That is for sure.