Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Italians Dressing
By Miss Alli | Season 9 | Episode 5 | Aired on 03.27.2006
3:04 AM. BJ and Tyler. They rip their clue and start trying to figure out which way the airport is. BJ explains that they "both believe in karma in terms of personal relationships with people." He says that they get people to help them by "using humor." This is illustrated by the fact that they do a Silly Walk away from the cab driver they've just asked for directions. I don't know about you, but I somehow feel confident that the cab driver there did not walk away from them saying, "Clownish Americans are delightful." Surprisingly, the rest of the episode does suggest that he didn't immediately speed up to run them over.
3:09 AM. It appears as though Lake and Michelle's clue tells them to go to Rafael Palmeiro, Italy, according to Lake's pronunciation. They run and catch up to a waiting BJ and Tyler, and as Tyler and Michelle high-five, Tyler says, "Mamma mia!" There's nothing the Italian people like better than an American yelling "Mamma mia!," I'm sure, so I hope he keeps that up. I recommend he add, "That's-a spicy meatball!" In a voice-over, Lake says that Michelle has "room to grow" as a navigator. I hope that she turned to him when they watched this episode and said, "I'll keep it to myself where you have room to grow." And I hope it was in front of their friends. Lake then gives a weirdly disembodied interview where he says that Michelle's maybe been right once, while he's been right three or four times, and that he's "still the leader of this team." It's weird how, when he narrates himself, it's like he feels obligated to say asshole things, even though he isn't an asshole most of the time.
At the airport, Eric and Jeremy go to the information desk, where they ask about flights to Palermo. The nice information lady tells him that they'll need to change planes in Rome, but that the first flight out is an Alitalia flight leaving at 6:35 AM. It will get them to Palermo at 10:15. Of course, the nice information lady isn't being let off the hook that easily. "You girls have hickeys?" Eric asks. "Somebody been kissing you? Is that why you have the scarves on?" The women say no, sort of out of politeness and obvious boredom. The women are wearing the fake smiles that easily fool guys like Eric and Jeremy, who have absolutely no ability to gauge whether women's responses are genuine or not, even in circumstances far more significant than this. I think I've figured out why they're mooching beach bums, by the way: nobody's going to hire you when you look like you just got here from the opening scenes of an instructional video called Don't Touch That!: A Cautious Employer's Guide To Preventing Sexual Harassment. Anyway, finally, Eric and Jeremy let up with the obnoxious personal comments and proceed to the Alitalia counter, where they park themselves and wait. Back at the information desk, the women undoubtedly turn to each other and mutter, "Retards."