Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Italians Dressing
By Miss Alli | Season 9 | Episode 5 | Aired on 03.27.2006
5:28 AM. Dave and Lori. In an interview, he talks about how "deeply in love" they are, and how they're just taking it one leg at a time, not worrying about the competition too much. The nerd music builds to a crescendo as Lori tells Dave that they need to "be smooth like butta." It is safe to say that is not what will occur on this leg, in case you are in any suspense.
5:52 AM. "Fly to Paller, Mo, Italy," Monica reads to Joseph. She irks me with the interview in which she gives the notorious reality-show explanation that people always think she's a "dumb blonde" when they see her. I know what she means, but it's...a little too close to "I am so blindingly hot that nobody can ever believe I'm also smart." Also, she pronounces it "Paller-mo" again in the car, so it's maybe not her best day to take a stand for her smartitude. ["Furthermore, it's been my experience that actually smart people are smart enough not to project stupidity." -- Wing Chun]
BJ and Tyler and Lake and Michelle rejoin Eric and Jeremy at the Alitalia counter, where BJ and Tyler recount their success in getting on the 6:35 flight. When the ticket counter finally opens, the guy breaks it to Eric and Jeremy that the first flight is actually...full. You know, they do race well, but could BJ and Tyler be any luckier? There's room for exactly one team? Right after last week, when they happened to be standing in front of the window that opened, and that flight also didn't have enough room for the people who showed up before them? They do great for themselves, but they also benefit from repeated, preposterous doses of good luck. ["Silly-walk karma, maybe? -- Wing Chun] Lake frets to Michelle that they let this happen, and she looks at him and slowly says, "Okay...can you read German?" Well, seriously. Not that I wouldn't love to hear him pronounce it. They head off to try to have better luck at Lufthansa. Eric and Jeremy decide to stick it out at Alitalia and ask about standby, but the guy says that he won't know until closer to departure whether they're going to be able to get on. At Lufthansa, Lake and Michelle learn of a 9:30 AM flight that gets into Palermo at 2:00. They book that ticket.
Fran and Barry get to the airport and go to Lufthansa. They are told that the flight leaves at 9:30 and gets in at 2:00. Barry asks whether they can connect on any other airlines that would get them to Palermo faster. They are told of an option to get in at 1:25 PM instead. That's an Alitalia flight, so apparently, Lake and Michelle didn't ask about other airlines, and got the next Lufthansa connection, rather than the next connection. At the news that they can get to Palermo earlier, Fran flaps her arms in a truly embarrassing fashion. The ticket guy explains to Fran and Barry that their arrival will be a half-hour earlier than what he just gave to Lake. Because Lake isn't crazy about anybody else finding the Lufthansa flight, he comes up and asks, "Barry, you think anybody saw you? I don't think anybody saw you guys." Fran gets all Mean Librarian, holding up her arms as if she's being violated and saying, "Please, step back. Step back." Lake tries to explain to them that he's not spying; he's already got his tickets. "I know," says Fran, because she can't stand to admit that she flipped out for no reason. "Just step back. Please." She is seriously the most unnecessarily rude person ever. You're not the proctor of the airport, lady. You can't really tell people where they can and cannot stand. You may think politeness dictates standing well back of other people buying tickets, but I haven't seen any rules posted anywhere saying that people have to give you a twenty-foot perimeter, so how about chilling the fuck out? God. Lake asks her why she's acting like this, when he hasn't started any shit with her, and Fran -- because she has no answer to this perfectly fair question -- just goes, "Please," and holds her hands up, again with the self-defense-class posture. She's one of those people, you can tell, who thinks that if she makes a big enough display of how offended she is, it will somehow prove that she has good reason to be offended. Which, in this case, she really doesn't. Why so nasty?