Previously on The Agency: Billy killed a guy who knew his brother, Patton told Billy that his dead brother trained assassins for a living and then dropped the bomb that Billy's brother didn't have to die, Jeanie ran around Florida perfecting her Spanish, and Paige did some graphic stuff with her computer which pretty much did nothing but fill time.
We begin this episode with a shot of Dubya Palace, complete with West Wing-ian trumpet overtones. Big Cheese picks up a paper and takes a seat to the Prez's secretary. "So, who do you like on Sunday?" he asks. She claims to not know what he's talking about. "Mrs. Simmons," Cheese chastises, "I see you every morning when I deliver the President's daily brief and I have it on excellent authority that you went three for three last weekend." Yeah, I thought that sounded vaguely pornographic myself. By the way, I was provided with top-level information that the director of the CIA doesn't give daily briefings to the President; he briefs the National Security Advisor, who in turn briefs the President weekly. The director of the CIA only shows up at the Oval Office if something serious is going on. How do I know this? I never reveal my sources. By the way, thanks for the info, Lauren!
D'oh! Dammit. Now I'll have to kill you all.
Anyway, Simmons says that it must be a pretty achingly slow day over at the CIA if the Big Cheese has time to discuss football. Oh, so it wasn't some sort of orgy to which he was referring. As if on cue, Simmons's phone rings just as she informs the Cheese that she has the Lions by nine. Aw, cute wittle White House banter. Simmons hands the phone to Cheese because the call's for him. It's Rocky.
"Sir," begins Rocky, "a little over an hour ago, Colombian Air Force shot down an American plane near the Peru border; two known casualties. Colombians thought they were drug dealers." "Who were they?" asks Cheese. "Apparently...missionaries," says Rocky reluctantly. "The Colombian military can't find their own ass, how did they find that plane?" hisses Cheese. Hee! "They didn't, sir," says Rocky, seeking the nearest possible Valium. "We found it for them." Just then, Simmons informs Cheese that the Prez will see him now. Wonder if Dubya will offer him a danish before Cheese informs him that we just contributed to the death of two completely innocent people.
Blue-tinted credits and twenty minutes of commercials later...
Spook Central. Billy and Patton are doing the clogging two-step down the halls of secrecy. Billy brings up Patton's exit line from the episode -- you know, the one about his brother not having to die? Okay, that's kind of cool; they're actually trying to run these episodes concurrently. Point one on a scale that reaches to ten. POINT ONE. Nine more points and this show might actually not make me want to shove lit sticks of incense through my eyeballs.
Patton hems and haws about how he was all feeling sorry for himself, and that he was wicked drunk. "'Your brother didn't have to die.' How does that come out of sorry, upset, and drunk?" Patton tries to shove him off with an excuse about a meeting he has to attend. Billy Velcros himself to Patton's side, saying they can talk on the way.