Man, I'm really on a roll with this interviewing thing. After my interview with Msaada from Road Rules, they're clamoring to be party to the interview stylings of Stee. Okay, that's not really true. But apparently a few of the girl hos fromTemptation Island stumbled upon my recaps and enjoyed them, good-naturedly looking past the occasional barb, and contacted me. We're talking Britt, the lawyer from New York City, and Elizabeth, the real estate lady also from Manhattan. Now Britt, the observant might remember, was the object of my curiosity, seeming to be the most real and normal of the girl hos, and all but disappearing once she was introduced on the premiere episode. Elizabeth was all over the place, notably becoming the object of Andy's lust after Megan dissed him by smooching Kaya; she was his partner for the final "Dream Date." (You'll remember, that date didn't go so well.)
So after these two now fast friends contacted me, I jumped, asking them for an interview. They agreed. But being that they live three thousand miles away, I was not able to meet them for chili and salad this time. So we turned to AOL Instant Messenger. We're twelve.
Okay, here's the interview:
Stee: Howdy.
Britt: Hey can you give us a few minutes? We just got home and are eating dinner; is that okay?
Stee: Oh for fuck's sake. No, sure. See you in fifteen.
Fifteen minutes pass. I watch Gilmore Girls (shut up) and smoke. Rock and roll.
Britt: Okay, we are ready.
Stee: Okay, tell the people a little bit about yourselves.
Elizabeth: I am Elizabeth. I live in NYC and I am a real estate agent. I grew up in Miami and moved here the day after high school graduation.
Britt: I'm Britt. I also live in NYC and I'm a lawyer...and of course we are also both professional temptresses.
Stee: I'm not putting that smiley in. Britt, have you lived in NYC a long time?
Britt: I grew up on Long Island and lived in New York City for the past five and a half years.
Stee: And what kind of lawyer are you?
Britt: Litigation -- securities and commercial. I deal with brokers all day long.
Stee: Elizabeth, if I wanted a one-bedroom in Chelsea, how much am I looking at these days?
I get no response for a long time. I finally realize I've been booted by Earthlink. Stupid Earthlink.
Stee: Sorry. I got booted.
Britt: Okay, I was going to say we are not THAT boring!
Stee: No. I'm sorry. Can you answer the question again, Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: Sure. The rental market is so out of control. And even more out of control in the summer! The sales market...well, it's a good time to buy. Are you looking?
Stee: No. I was just looking for comparison's sake to when I lived there. Always trying to make a sale. That's good. Okay, the big question. Tell us the story of how you both came to be on Temptation Island?
Elizabeth: Well, I was working on a Saturday and was in the elevator on my way to lunch when my elevator man told me they were doing auditions for a TV show upstairs, but I totally blew it off . You see, I was starving and all I could think about was getting a roast beef sandwich. I was craving one for days.
Britt: She only eats once every four days. That's why she's so skinny.
Elizabeth: Actually, my entire day revolves around eating. I live for food. I don't look like it, but I do.
Britt: Skinny bitch.
Elizabeth: So, I go into the store to wait in line for the sandwich and this crazy guy comes up to me and asks me if I want to be on TV. I told him no. Weird things like this happen to me all the time. Then he was like, "You'd be perfect." So I said that I wasn't interested and I wasn't an actress. And he was like, "That's perfect. You're not supposed to be an actress. It's reality TV." So I still was like, "Leave me alone." But he was like, "It's right here (above my office), so audition and you probably won't even get it anyway, but you won't know unless you do." And, well, the rest is history!
Stee: Wait. Where did the elevator guy fit in? Oh never mind, I get it.
Britt: My story is not about roast beef. A friend of a friend has something to do with Fox, so I got this email forwarded to me about auditions for this show and there was a number to call. So because it was about 4:30 on Friday (anyone who works in an office knows that at 4:30 on a Friday in July there is no way you are doing any work), I called and spoke with a casting director for a while, to kill some time, and because I was curious. I thought nothing of it. She asked me for my number so I gave her my cell (I never answer my cell) and she called me later that night and asked me if I would audition if she set up an appointment for me. I had never been to an audition so I figured what the hell. So I went and, well, you know the rest. Back to E. and her elevator guy...
Elizabeth: The elevator guy thinks he's made me famous!! Every day he tells me, "Why are you still here?! Do I have to become your agent to get you out of here?!" But I love my job. And obviously, acting is not my forte.
Stee: Got it. And the interview process -- briefly, what did it consist of?
Britt: The interview consisted of a striptease and our ability to seduce five random men on the street in an hour.
Stee: Bullshit. Really?
Britt: Obviously that was a joke.
Stee: You guys with your dinner and your jokes. Okay, continue...
Britt: They just questioned us about our past relationships, personality, jobs, what we like to do, etc., and taped us talking about it all. And cut the "dinner and jokes" comments. You know you love it!
Stee: What were your instructions as Tempters?
Britt: To get naked. Seriously, there were no instructions. We were just there and told to be ourselves...you know Reality TV. Although that isn't exactly what happened for all of us...the people you see on the screen are not exactly who we all are in real life.
Stee: Was there pressure to hook up with the guys?
Britt: There was pressure to get to know the guys and get a date. After all, it was a 13:4 ratio. But there was no pressure to hook up at all.
Stee: Okay, cool. So was the resort nice? Where did you sleep and all?
Britt: The resort was nice for a third world country. There are no Ritz-Carltons there, but Belize was beautiful and the people that live there are wonderful. We each had a roommate and ate our meals at our resort with the "couple" guys and other single girls -- unless we were on a date or on an excursion with the people that weren't on dates. And sometimes if we were really lucky, Mark L. Walberg would stop by at mealtime.
Stee: Ha, right! So that leads me to this: give us your impressions of [host] Mark L. Walberg?
Britt: We didn't have much interaction with him. He was more of a facilitator to move things along and explain what was happening. He was a nice guy, friendly...
Elizabeth: And very flirtatious. But he was always talking about his wife...
Stee: In an interview he mentioned how bad he felt being with all you pretty people; the insecurity. Did you see that?
Britt: No I didn't see that. He was definitely complimentary of all of us. From your recaps we know you think he is a tool.
Stee: Yes, he's a tool. Did you get to know the "couple" women at all or were you just interacting with the men?
Elizabeth: Why did he say he felt bad being with us?
Stee: He apparently wore a tank-top one day and a girl ho told him to hit the gym and get a tan.
Britt: We had no interaction with the "couple" women. We only saw them when we filmed those infamous pool scenes.
Elizabeth: After the show aired I had some interaction with Shannon while I was out in L.A. doing a shoot for US Magazine.
Stee: Okay, so I'm going to ask you to talk about the four guys. We'll start with Taheed.
Elizabeth: He could sing like an angel. Very personable! A nice guy. If you're not interested in fidelity, he's great!
Stee: You mean that because he admitted to cheating on his lady?
Elizabeth: I meant, he's not the faithful type.
Britt: Taheed was easy to talk to; pretty deep. And personally, after talking with him, I was surprised he stayed with Ytossie. But hey, we all saw the intense sweat.
Elizabeth: Some people only need one person to complete them, others need many.
Britt: Okay, Elizabeth. This is not Jerry Maguire. Let's talk about Billy.
Stee: Hee. Yes, Billy now.
Britt: Billy was cool. Kind of rough around the edges. He definitely shows the most personality on-screen. He is nice but personally I didn't think he had that much to say. He is now this heartthrob and while he is cute, he looks much better on-screen than in real life. He is too short for me.
Elizabeth: I thought Billy was great. He only had something to say if you asked him.
Stee: Makes sense.
Britt: I think he'd be the perfect person to just hang with for a great time and lots of laughs...but to spend the rest of my life with...no, there's more to life than Mr. Georgia. Or is he now Mr. L.A.?
Elizabeth: Too southern and laid back for me.
Stee: Wow, okay. Kaya?
Britt: Kaya, well where should I begin...He was also one who conversationally didn't bring much to the table. He talked a lot about his Feng Shui and meditation. Whatever. One has to wonder what he and Valerie have in common and what they can possibly talk about. Kaya was the subject of the single women's late night jokes (all of which no one ever saw.) You see, Kaya went to bed early every night (beauty sleep) while the rest of us hung out talking, drinking, etc., to all hours. All the girls would remove the screen from Kaya's window and poke him with sticks and jump into bed with him like we slept there all night. It was all hilarious, and I can say that he screams like a woman -- very high-pitched. But all that aside, he has a good heart.
Stee: Ha. Elizabeth, any thoughts?
Elizabeth: Billy was too southern, laid back. Kaya, however, was just too good looking to be true.
Britt: Yes, in real life Kaya is undeniably gorgeous; a real head-turner.
Elizabeth: But, I think that he just knew how good looking he was and thought that women would just flock to him. Not the case. He wasn't dealing with Valerie-type girls...he was dealing with girls that are usually the head-turners themselves. I think there was a little bit of competition to see who looked the prettiest in the morning. Of course he always won. He did sleep (not uninterrupted) at least eight hours a night, while I myself slept an average of four.
Stee: There has been a lot of speculation on these and other boards about Kaya's sexuality. Any thoughts on it?
Elizabeth: Do I really think he's gay? No. But he is a little more on the feminine side. He is a professional model, you know.
Stee: Britt. You agree?
Britt: I don't think he is really gay either. Just a very pretty pretty boy.
Stee: Okay. Andy.
Britt: Here we go...
Stee: Hee. Yes.
Britt: Andy was definitely the most controversial guy, earning the nickname "Handy Andy." But I have to say although he has problems choosing words wisely...he is really cool and nice and I think has the most personality and depth.
Stee: Go on...
Britt: Hey. Controversy and high drama are fun and that's what Andy created. What would life be without it? The whole Megan thing: well, he didn't seem so in love with her when we were there. Yeah, they spent time together, but it certainly didn't seem how it does on the episodes.
Stee: Right, I can see that.
Elizabeth: I totally think he got a bad rap. Imagine if the entire time you were on the island, you kept talking about the last date and how you couldn't wait to go rappelling because that's what your producers told you was your dream date. And then, Mr. Pretty Boy [Kaya], who knows you wanted that date gets the opportunity to take it from you, and does...and your dream date now becomes your nightmare date. You'd come across like an asshole too. I was just trying to make the best of whatever date I got, even though I LOVE TO REPELL!!!! [sic]
Britt: Andy was the most interesting and my favorite. Although I'm barely on camera, I spent time hanging with him.
Stee: Elizabeth, how was that final date with him? It seemed fairly uncomfortable.
Elizabeth: The final date was nowhere near as fun as the date before. He was uncomfortable and felt out of place. Good for Shannon! Not too good for me; I was suddenly on a date with Valerie -- someone who didn't want to be there.
Stee: Did you guys have any interaction with the male singles?
Britt: Not on the show. They were very strict about it, although we all sized each other up across the pool and snuck some small chats. Clearly they knew that if they let us loose with the singles we would all be like, "Billy who? Kaya who?" Now that the show is over, all the singles interact; it's a whole other story...and would make a much more interesting show, I might add.
Elizabeth: I couldn't have said it better myself.
Stee: Right on. Generally speaking, what were your perceptions of the other female Tempters?
Elizabeth: I was like, "OH MY GOD!! WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!?! THESE GIRLS ARE SO HOT!!!"
Stee: Okay.
Britt: Well, it goes to why I was hiding the whole time and not the Britt that all of the Tempters know. Like you said in one of your recaps, it's sad because I am normal and look big to the other girls.
Stee: So is that the full answer to my question, which is: Britt, why the hell were you given zero camera time?
Britt: I was told everyone was normal [on the show] -- the girl door -- but last time I checked my neighbors were not a size zero Playboy model and a size zero Laker girl!!!!! I am 5'5" and a size six and, well, you see what I look like to those girls (although they are all cool as shit). Besides, we had a week's notice. By the time all our tests went through and I didn't even own shorts or bathing suits, I couldn't bring along the bikini from my last model shoot like the other girls could. As for me getting no camera time, I'll let Elizabeth answer that.
Stee: Shoot, E.
Elizabeth: Hmmm. Britt is by far the most outgoing of the girls; she shows no fear in the limelight. That's why I believe we became instant best friends. It's just really hard to come across as outgoing and beautiful inside and outside when you are given fifteen minutes notice to slather yourself with fifty SPF sun-block and two gallons of bug spray, throw on a pair of shorts that don't exist, and stand in the natural sunlight in front of the entire country and feel good about it. Well, some of us were like, "What the hell. No one is even going to watch this anyway." Well, Britt was smarter than that. She didn't flaunt herself, grasping every second of camera time she could get. She just hung out and was having a good time, not trying to cause controversy for a story line. Then again, she didn't get shit-faced and jump up on the bar either...which the real Britt on Manhattan island might do for a crowd pleaser.
Stee: How accurate was what we ended up seeing on television? Was it all terribly manipulated or just somewhat?
Elizabeth: I think manipulation is all around us. Hell, look at all of the interpretations of the Bible. People have been killed over that shit. Some people saw it as one thing while they were there living it...others watched it while it was happening and saw other things differently.
Stee: But things were portrayed fairly accurately?
Britt: I think even today there is some confusion in the minds of lots of the cast as to what was real and what or who might have been acting. It's hard for us to say for sure if things are accurate because the show focused on the dates and all that Bonfire shit which we weren't all part of. I would say things were accurate but exaggerated.
Stee: Okay. Finally...So are you following the lead of many of the Temptees, moving to Hollywood to try to have the show launch you into an entertainment career? In other words, what's for you guys?
Britt: I'm just going about life as usual, although it's anything but usual anymore. Because I have tons of new amazing friends and am constantly hanging out with different people and going out to different places because of the show. Unfortunately, as we all know, I got little exposure from this, but hey, if someone asked me to act or be a spokesperson or writer or legal commentator or anything different, I would jump at the chance. Variety is the spice of life.
Stee: That it is. Elizabeth?
Britt: Hold on. Let me get Elizabeth. She is packing up her dishes for her move to L.A.
Stee: Ha.
Elizabeth: If you put a gun to my head and told me do or die...I would die before I'd move away from Britt. Just kidding...from Manhattan. My life is worth living here. I'd wither away and die in California. But at least I'd die with a great tan right?
Stee: Sure. So what's for you?
Elizabeth: My life is basically the same too. But now I've got Britt and all these other great people to share it with. I never wanted to be famous. I think fame takes away too much privacy.
Stee: Yes, it does, I'm sure. You said you're coming to visit L.A.?
Britt: Why are we coming to L.A.? To hang with you, Stee!!! We are going there on vacation to hang with our fellow Tempters. We miss them and the phone bills are huge! Most of the Tempters male and female are on the West Coast, and we are all going to Vegas together to party for a few days. It should be a blast. Besides, I've never been to L.A. before, and what better way to see it than with LaWonna, Dano, Vanessa, Carla...
Stee: Very cool. Thank you both.
Britt: Thank you. You are funny as shit and that's why we are doing this interview. You make us all laugh. Do you hear that, Mighty Big TV people? Give this man a raise!
Stee: Word. Thanks guys.