Once Abi is gone, after a short celebration, the machinations start up again. Skupin and Malcolm apparently have an alliance? Does anyone NOT have an alliance with each of the other three at this point?
A surprise Reward Challenge offers the winner an advantage in the final Immunity Challenge. It's your typical obstacle course/collect puzzle pieces/solve puzzle challenge. They all stay very close throughout the obstacle course, with Skupin slightly ahead and Lisa slightly behind, but it really all comes down to who can solve the puzzle first. Skupin is terrible at puzzles, so he's out. Denise and Malcolm are neck and neck, and then Malcolm pulls ahead. The person who probably needed the advantage the least won it, but he earned it. What happened to Lisa's awesome puzzle-solving ability? She was good earlier in the season, right? Maybe she's not great at the jigsaw-type puzzles and is better at the patterns/word puzzles.
Denise presses Malcolm to commit to taking her to the final three, and he won't commit. This is because Malcolm intends to go to the final three with Skupin and Lisa, who he thinks he can beat. So Denise goes to Lisa and suggests that they vote out Malcolm if they can, if he doesn't win immunity. Lisa's on board.
After the always-boring March of the Fallen Survivors, it's time for the final Immunity Challenge. And boy, does this challenge look impossible. They have to balance a ball on a piece of wood, with the wood piece lengthened at intervals. Malcolm's advantage is that he gets a second chance – if he drops the ball, he gets to try again instead of getting eliminated immediately. There is a slight indentation in the wood for the ball to rest in, but it is SLIGHT. In the second round, Malcolm tries to lift his arms for an adjustment and drops his ball, so he has to use his second chance to get back in. And then he gets the yips, and his hands start shaking so much that he loses it and drops the ball and becomes the first person out. Well, that's probably it for ol' Malcolm.
Denise goes out shortly thereafter so it's down to Lisa and Skupin. After a few more rounds, Lisa seems to lose hand strength as she drops her ball and Skupin wins. So then Denise and Malcolm have to scramble to convince Lisa and Skupin to take them. Skupin wants to beat Malcolm because he's a dude, and Skupin feels there's no honor in beating two ladies. He doesn't say that, but that's the gross subtext.
At the final Tribal Council, Malcolm makes the case that he may be a threat, but Denise is a bigger threat. Malcolm seems to see the writing on the wall when Probst asks Lisa for a reason to keep Malcolm and she can't think of one. Ouch. Malcolm votes for Denise and actually starts crying. Very touching. Unfortunately, he's the only one who voted for Denise and he gets sent home after being voted out 3-1. Damn. He played an almost perfect game except for losing immunity in that last challenge. I think he would've won if he had.
Ugh, my least favorite part is the jury questions because I just cringe at how ridiculous and bitter they usually are. Denise's argument is that she adapted to being in three tribes and made alliances and sub-alliances, and she was valuable in camp and in challenges. And she went to every single Tribal Council and survived. Lisa's argument is that her strategy was to play her own game, but for a while she forgot to trust her gut. After her brother's visit, she realized that she had to play the game, and she did, and she made it. Skupin reminds them that he's the only returning player who made the finals, and he played as hard as he could.
Artis starts out very bitter and doesn't even ask a question. Malcolm is REALLY pissed at Denise. Abi basically tells everyone, "You were really mean to me." Penner might be drunk, but he's CRAZY mean and bitter. He calls Denise a bitch, and he calls Skupin a backstabber, and he tells everyone that Lisa was on Facts of Life.
During the voting, we only see three votes for they're for three different people, so we know it won't be a landslide or unanimous. Before Probst reads the votes, he offers up a moment of silence for the victims in Newtown, CT. I appreciate it, but that makes it even harder now to be like, "WOOOO, SURVIVOR!" Anyway, Denise totally wins and I think even Malcolm voted for her, despite his bitterness. On to the reunion.
It really bothers me that they didn't hyphenate million-dollar in the episode title. It's an adjectival phrase, so it should be hyphenated, right? Annoying.
Anyway, the finale opens, as usual, with a loooooong recap of the season thus far. Remember when Lisa only had one set of eyebrows? It covers the returning players, as well as the two famous people secretly planted on the cast. Then it rained for twenty-one days straight. Matsing went to the first four Tribal Councils and then the only remaining members, Malcolm and Denise, were split up. Tandang was the strongest tribe and went into the merge with numbers, and the reunited Malcolm and Denise made a final-four alliance with Skupin and Lisa. Denise and Malcolm were able to exploit the cracks in Tandang and stick around against all odds, and their final-four alliance became the actual final four. And now you're all caught up.
Dangrayne. Night 36. The final four return to camp and breathe a huge sigh of relief that Abi and her negativity are finally gone. Skupin and Denise actually do a little dance. Malcolm is not so happy; after Abi opined at Tribal Council that none of them could beat Malcolm and Malcolm would definitely win, Malcolm interviews that he has to do "damage control" to convince the others he's not that big of a threat.
Early the morning (I guess, based on the dim light), Malcolm and Skupin find themselves alone in camp and confirm that they still have an alliance to go to the finals together. Skupin interviews that many people have said that Malcolm will win in a landslide if he makes it to the finals, but Skupin thinks he could beat him because he thinks he has a better story. Skupin plans to mull this over the few days. Skupin clearly doesn't understand what motivates jurors. First, are they pissed at you for screwing them over? Then you won't get their vote, with a few exceptions. Second, would they feel okay saying that you beat them? Skupin flip-flopped a few times so there are a lot of people on the jury pissed at him; they aren't going to care about his inspirational returning player story.
As the sun rises, Denise retrieves Tree Mail. They are all confused because they didn't think there would be another Reward Challenge. Denise interviews that she's pretty sure she's on the bottom of the remaining four people, and she is scrambling to figure out how to stick around.
The four players report for the Reward Challenge. Probst explains that they will have to traverse an obstacle course, retrieving bags of puzzle pieces, and then assemble a puzzle to win. I'm a little tired of these challenges. Whatever happened to the maze with the big spider web in the middle done blindfolded? There haven't been nearly enough blindfolded challenges this season. Anyway, the puzzle is in the shape of a dragon, and the winner will get some sort of advantage in the final immunity challenge. Probst cannot talk enough about how awesome this advantage is. Is it better than the advantage they gave Abi? It had better be.
The challenge begins with a balance beam and then running over a ramp. The men take the lead first, but Denise unties her first bag in like a second and whips through the bamboo jungle or whatever it is lickety-split. Skupin and Malcolm are right behind her with Lisa bringing up the rear. They come to a bridge over a mud pit and Malcolm somehow face plants on the beam and has to start over. Denise and Skupin have a slight lead after getting their final bag of puzzles, but everyone starts working on the puzzle right around the same time. Skupin is just terrible at puzzles. Lisa is not that great at jigsaw puzzles; I think her strength lies in word/pattern puzzles. Malcolm and Denise are neck and neck throughout and Malcolm pulls it out in the end and wins reward. Well, that's exactly what the other three DIDN'T want to have happen. The actual advantage is sealed, and we won't find out what it is until the Immunity Challenge.
Everyone returns to camp, and three of them are dejected that Malcolm won an advantage. Lisa interviews that they didn't think they could beat him without an advantage, so now they're really screwed. Malcolm interviews that he has a final three deal with Lisa and Skupin, and he feels bad about betraying Denise, but their stories are too similar and he's not sure he can beat her in the finals. He's pretty sure he can beat Lisa and Skupin. Malcolm and Denise leave camp to get water. Denise tells Malcolm that he has a really good shot at winning immunity now, and she needs him to affirm that he's planning on taking her to the final three. Awkward pause. Awkward pause. Malcolm says something that indicates he hasn't really made a decision yet on who he'd want to go to the finals with. Denise interviews that Malcolm has had finals deals all along for six and four, so hearing him say he doesn't know what he's going to do about final three makes Denise feel pretty scared.
Denise goes to Lisa and says that she wants to know what Lisa and Skupin's finals thoughts are, because Malcolm is being wishy-washy. Man, if we have learned anything this season, it's that you should always take a finals deal when it's offered. Refusing to do so led to Penner leaving, and now it's causing Denise to split from Malcolm when I think otherwise, she would have remained loyal. Anyway, Lisa is thrilled that Denise might be willing to split from Malcolm, and they agree to vote out Malcolm if he doesn't win immunity. Lisa compares Malcolm to someone who would put his arm around you, stab you, then come visit you in the hospital and everyone would say, "Wasn't that nice of him to visit?" Heh. Lisa and Denise hug on it (remember when everyone said "hug it out"? I'm glad we're done with Entourage and Jeremy Piven now), but Lisa interviews that she didn't shake on it or give her word because she still needs to talk to Skupin.
Denise approaches Skupin and brings up voting out Malcolm. Skupin doesn't need any convincing and says that he's in. Lisa approaches him and says that now they need to decide which way to go, and she's leaning toward Denise. Skupin interviews that it's great that he and Lisa have a deal with both Denise and Malcolm so they'll go to the finals either way. Then Skupin introduces what we'll call Delusional Skupin mode: he thinks he can beat Malcolm in the challenge, and he thinks he can beat Malcolm with the jury. Oh, Skupin. Do you understand jury psychology at all? They're not going to vote for you if your flip-flop caused them to get voted out or even if they THINK it did. So there goes most of the former Tandang. And the others are going to be made that you didn't flip-flop earlier and help Kalabaw members stick around. Plus you were a floater who never drove any strategic decisions; you just waited for others to come to you and present options.
Lisa and Skupin continue to discuss options. Skupin doesn't think they should let Denise win the Immunity Challenge. Lisa's like, "Are you nuts? We WANT Denise to win. All she's done is ride Malcolm's coattails; we can beat her with the jury." Lisa interviews that Skupin's kind of a dum-dum, but says it nicer than that. Skupin interviews that he and Lisa disagree over who they should take, so he needs to win Immunity so that he can be the one to choose.
Malcolm and Denise return to camp with treemail, and discover that they're doing the March of Fallen Comrades. Sigh. So boring. Remember the season that they didn't show this? Sure, let the contestants do this because it gives them something to do and lets the reflect, but we don't need to see it. I usually fast forward through it. In the interest of actually recapping the show, I will give you one sentence to summarize how they remember each person.
Zane: quit smoking, went crazy, went home. Roxy: religious and a fighter. Angie: Malcolm's sleeping buddy. Russell: leader, returnee, loser. Dana: medevac. Dawson: quirky, entertaining. Katie: potty mouth, likable. RC: Skupin's first alliance, became a threat. Jeff Kent: good player, wanted returning players gone. Artis: loyal to Tandang to a fault. Pete: loyal to Abi, it was his downfall. Penner: strategic mastermind, great speaker, no one wanted to take him to finals. Carter: nice young man. Abi: firecracker, tumultuous, hung on way longer than anyone thought she would.
Then they light all the eliminated people on fire. Or just their torches. It would have been more interesting if they had lit the people on fire, probably.
They report for the final Immunity Challenge. Probst takes the necklace from Malcolm, who is loath of give it up. For the challenge, each person has a cylinder that has been cut into several pieces. Each person has to balance a silver ball on the center piece. At time intervals, they will add pieces to the outside, making the cylinder longer and thus more difficult to balance. Malcolm reads his advantage out loud: he gets a second chance, so if he drops his ball, he gets to put it back on and keep going. That... doesn't seem like a huge advantage. I mean, it's hardly the same as Abi getting to jump to the third stage of the obstacle course or whatever. I think a bigger advantage would be getting to stay at the shortest length when everyone else has to move up or something.
The final four pick up their handles and start balancing. There's a little indentation in the center of the cylinder for the ball to rest in; I was glad they showed that because I was quite confused about how the ball stayed on the cylinder at all. Everyone makes it through the first round. In the second round, Malcolm gets a bad case of the yips and drops his ball. Everyone gets to take a break while he resets, and then they resume.
Here's the distracting thing about this challenge. Everyone holds the cylinder at waist height, so when the camera zooms in on the ball, you can see everyone's belly in the background. And Malcolm's belly is... not so bad to look at. Unfortunately, Malcolm gets the shakes REALLY bad, recovers a few times, but eventually drops the ball for the second time and he's out. And pissed. A few minutes later, Denise drops her ball so she's out too.
Skupin and Lisa move on to round three. They both make it all the way to the end of that round, and now their cylinder has three pieces on each side of the center piece, plus the handles. After a few minutes, Lisa loses it and Skupin wins immunity. Lisa, ever the gamer, hugs him and says, "We made it together." Probst tells them that he'll see them at Tribal Council and they head back to camp.
Back at camp, Malcolm talks about how his hands always shake so he knew he didn't have a shot at that challenge even if he got ten reboots. Malcolm goes for a walk on the beach and Lisa and Skupin talk about how Skupin pulled it out when he needed it. Skupin interviews that he can't believe he's going to make it to the end, and that everyone said Malcolm was unbeatable and Skupin beat him. I think it's a great accomplishment; I also think Skupin's lucky that it was that type of challenge. I don't even know if Skupin would have won had it been a more traditional endurance challenge. Skupin concludes that now he has to figure out the best final three strategy.
Once Denise leaves, Malcolm asks Lisa and Skupin if they're cool for the finals. Lisa and Skupin don't really answer but Lisa says that they should probably tell Denise that they're keeping her. Malcolm interviews that he's really worried even though he got Lisa and Skupin's word that they're sending Denise home.
Now Malcolm is gone and Denise is asking Lisa and Skupin what their decision is for tonight. Skupin lays out the two paths: it's either Denise or Malcolm going home. Denise says she's going to vote Malcolm and hopes they'll join her. I wonder if, at this point, Denise could convince Malcolm to vote Lisa and she will too. Then it would be a tie. Anyway, Denise interviews that Skupin is a dreamer and wants to win against the best, meaning Malcolm, so Denise needs to convince him that it's in his best interests to take her instead. She vows to do everything she can to stay.
Denise meets with Skupin privately. Skupin says that there's a part of him that wants to go against the best and beat the best, and he's not sure if there's any honor in beating Denise or Lisa. Gross. Basically, Skupin's completely discounting all of the hard work that Denise and Lisa have done, because they're ladies and haven't won physical challenges. His whole philosophy is, "It's not honorable to beat a poor, defenseless, helpless lady, because who couldn't do that (besides all of the men on the jury)? Instead, I need to beat my fellow male warrior who, if he didn't have a Hidden Immunity Idol, would have been gone weeks ago." That's just gross and I commend Denise for not smacking Skupin upside the head. Denise points out that she doesn't know if Skupin can beat Malcolm in the jury, or if any of them can, so it doesn't make sense to take Malcolm and surely lose. Denise assures Skupin that their friendship will last beyond the game, but she's voting Malcolm and she thinks he should too.
Skupin then goes to Malcolm and says that he just heard Denise out. Skupin interviews that he wants to make his family proud, and he'd love to get in the final three by being honorable and keeping his word. Has he forgotten how he turned on his Tandang alliance not so long ago? I'm sure the jury hasn't. Lisa interviews that Skupin is a wild card, and she doesn't understand handing the title to Malcolm on a silver platter.
Tribal Council. The jury comes in and Abi gives someone (Denise, I think?) the stink eye. Probst starts by asking Skupin how much alliances factor in now and Skupin gives a non-answer like, "They're important." Someone who was more honest would say that everyone has an alliance with everyone else at this point, so they don't really matter. Denise does talk about alliances and sub-alliances and loyalties and basically says that you don't know where people's loyalty lies. Probst asks Malcolm if he's still allied with Denise, and Malcolm says that alliances are always shifting, like he was allies with Angie and had to cut her throat, so it's no surprise that now he has to consider getting rid of Denise. This whole conversation is so ridiculous. Malcolm knows that his alliance with Denise is over. Denise knows that her alliance with Malcolm is over. Why are they both pretending like their alliance might still stand after tonight? It's insulting to the viewer that they're spending so much time on this, when the real question is who Skupin and Lisa will vote out. Anyway, Denise and Malcolm both agree that their plan was always to go to final four and then see what happened.
Probst thinks Lisa and Skupin have been tighter than Denise and Malcolm. Lisa points out that she and Skupin haven't always voted together; she reminds the jury that she stayed loyal to Tandang when Skupin flipped to the other side. I mean, she doesn't address the jury, but you know why she's saying it. Malcolm laughs that Lisa's telling a sweet story, and she and Skupin have been solid for a long time.
Probst wants to know if Malcolm choosing Skupin for a loved one visit will influence the vote. Skupin says Malcolm has favors for life. Lisa doesn't know if any favors exchanged have been worth a million dollars, and confirms that she'll be voting out her biggest threat tonight. Probst asks Malcolm if he's the biggest threat since he has the best story. Malcolm says that Denise has done everything he has, plus she's survived every Tribal, she never had to flip sides, and she's the only remaining Kalabaw left. Skupin says that Malcolm makes a strong case, and he and Lisa have discussed how everyone has a great story, and they've run every possible scenario.
Here's the crucial moment. Probst asks Lisa if there's a reason to take Malcolm to the end and Lisa hesitates for a long time. Malcolm looks incredulous and mutters, "Don't hesitate that long." Lisa swallows and says, "There's not a reason for me to take him to the end." That right there. That's when Malcolm knew he was fucked. Malcolm says it's upsetting to hear Lisa's answer because he's shook hands and made deals and he hopes they take precedence. I will never understand why people think that they're the only ones who made deals. How does Malcolm know that Skupin and Lisa didn't make the same exact deal with Denise a day later?
Voting begins. Denise votes for Malcolm and explains that she respects his game but he wouldn't commit to a final three alliance, so she has to scramble. When Malcolm goes to vote, he's very emotional as he holds up Denise's name and says, "Sounds like it's me or you tonight," but he seems to realize that the writing is on the wall and he stops talking and swears.
Probst reads the vote. One for Malcolm. One for Denise. The other two are for Malcolm and he's gone. As he walks off, he says, "Congratulations, Denise." Probst reminds the finalists that they may have some unhappy jurors to convince the night. In Malcolm's abbreviated final statement, Malcolm wonders if he pushed the others too hard to play the game and it caused them to finally start playing and realize that he was a threat. Well, that's a little egotistical. And assumes that no one else was playing the game as hard as he was. I don't think that's true.
The final three return to camp and talk about how hard it was to vote out Malcolm. Denise notes that he's really mad, and then interviews that she feels bad for Malcolm but she did outwit him and went one step past him, and that's the game. Skupin interviews that Malcolm congratulated Denise for winning as he left, and Skupin will have a lot to say about that tomorrow. Denise tells the others that she doesn't think she's got it in the bag. Skupin interviews that he thinks that the person who pleads his or her case the best will win. Skupin clearly knows nothing about juries on this show.
The morning, the finalists hike up to the cliff and watch the sunrise. Denise interviews that she is thriving out there and she thinks she has a good chance to win the million. Lisa tells the others that she never anticipated that she'd make such deep connections and have such a life-changing experience, and Skupin promises that they'll never forget it.
They go check treemail and find a feast and champagne to celebrate making it to the end. Skupin interviews that he's watched every season and always wondered if he could make it to the end, since he didn't get the chance last time. Lisa tells the others that she feels really good about this final three, and they all agree that there's no runaway winner (knowing the outcome, ha!) and any one of them could win. Lisa interviews that you might think that, having been on television before, she might know what it would be like to be on the show, but it has been completely different and nothing like what she expected. She's really grateful to have this chance. They burn their shelter and head off to face the jury.
Well that was a feel-good final day, so this will probably be a feel-good jury, right? Ha ha ha. The jury members enter and take seats. Abi looks amazing and Malcolm looks really good clean-shaven. Probst welcomes them and congratulates them for making it to the end, and reminds them that now they face an eight-person jury, who will decide who wins.
We begin with opening statements. Denise says that she won't apologize, because she's proud that she assimilated into three tribes, made alliances and suballiances, and proved her value at camp and in challenges. She knows the moves she made may have upset people, but she survived every single Tribal Council, and she did outwit and outplay many of them, and she outlasted all of them. Nothing she said was untrue; all of it does make a good case for her winning. However, I think she misread the jury's mood. She's right not to apologize, but that speech came off a bit smug and cocky, like, "Nyah nyah, I'm better than you!" which I think would be the thing that would piss jury members off.
Lisa says that they all outwitted, outplayed and outlasted, but they did it in different ways. I'm a little tired of this trend of people taking the show slogan as a mission statement. It doesn't seem useful; do you think the people on the jury really want to be reminded that they were outwitted? Anyway, Lisa admits that her strategy wasn't pretty, but she played her own game. She admits that she didn't follow her heart until her brother visited and reminded her to trust her gut, and she used that inspiration to get rid of Malcolm. She concludes that she learned and grew (no one on the jury cares) and she's proud of herself (no one cares).
Skupin reminds everyone that he faced the challenge of being a returning player when everyone wanted to get rid of returning players, and he played as hard as he could both physically and emotionally, because he loves the game.
Okay, so let's sum up the arguments. Denise appealed to intellect and logic: "I overcame the toughest obstacles and I'm still here. I win." Lisa appealed to emotion: "I'm a mess but I'm less of a mess than I was at the beginning." Skupin appealed to who knows what: "I love this game. Don't you? Please vote for me." But honestly, these jurors already know who they're voting for, right? This all doesn't really matter other than for our entertainment.
Artis is up first. He says he won't congratulate them because they all said they would be loyal, and then they weren't, so they reap what they sow. Artis says he held true to his alliances. Well, yeah. Because you could. If he had stayed as long as, say, Abi, would he have stayed true? Probably not. That's a ridiculous argument to make. Anyway, his question is: karma is a bitch. Or maybe, "Karma is a bitch?" He doesn't ask a question is what I'm saying.
Carter is up . He tells Lisa and Skupin that they did a good job, since they both overcame obstacles. He also knows that people are going to pour their bitterness and pain on the finalists, and it sucks. So he wants to know how Skupin felt about voting him out. What does he think Skupin is going to say? This is like, "My question is: tell me how awesome I was and how sad you were to vote me out." That's basically what Skupin says: that Carter was awesome and they loved him and no one wanted to vote him out but they had no choice given their alliance.
Pete tells Lisa that she's a Judas because she's up there claiming she didn't vote out Artis or Pete, but she knew they were going and didn't do anything about it. Lisa claims she didn't know Artis was going, and she voted for Penner that night fully expecting him to leave. I guess that's possibly true; we saw a lot of Penner trying to convince Lisa to flip but I don't know that we ever saw him specifically tell her they were voting out Artis. And honestly, what did Pete want her to do? The one time Lisa went to him and Abi with a game changing move, they screwed it up. Pete wants Denise to say why she deserves the money more. Didn't she already say that in her statement? Anyway, Denise says that going from tribe to tribe forced her to learn how to fit in, and Kalabaw should have been picked off by Tandang post-merge, but Tandang had fractures, and Denise worked within that to stick around. That was a good answer.
RC and her annoying giggle. She says that she identified Lisa day one as a huge threat, and she's proud that she made it. Ugh, once you notice RC's giggle, you can't ignore it and it's AWFUL. She asks Skupin if there's something he should have told her on day nineteen, and Penner insists that he thought Penner was going home and that's how he voted. That's when Penner played his Hidden Immunity Idol.
Ooh, boy. Malcolm. He says that he didn't have questions until he heard the opening statements and realized that Lisa actually played the game. It's hard to remember that the people on the island don't see all the confessionals and interviews that we do. Malcolm didn't see all the times that Lisa went to Skupin and gently got him to play her game. He didn't see all the times she told the cameras what her strategy was. From his point of view, she was an emotional mess who kind of floated along and didn't piss anyone off enough to get voted out. It's also probably a bit of an age/gender thing -- he didn't think the nice older Christian lady had it in her. AND, he doesn't know that she's semi-famous.
Anyway, all this to say that Malcolm seriously underestimated Lisa, but it's easy to see why when you think about the game he saw versus the game we saw. Malcolm addresses Denise and she nods at him and he tells her not to nod, and that she's been appeasing everyone from day one, and he wants to hear why she deserves the win. Hasn't she already explained this twice? I guess he wants her to say it in a mean way? I know from reading post-game interviews that Malcolm actually wanted Denise to win, and this was his attempt to get her to fight for it and show some fire, but it comes off as kind of mean and bitter; I'm sure there was a little emotion there from so recently being voted out. Denise says that she listened and observed, and it's part of being a therapist, but she was playing strategy every step of the way, and it's why she's sitting there and Malcolm is on the jury. Ouch. But also, awesome. Malcolm wants her to say more, and Denise just repeats that her strategy got her there. Does he want specifics? I don't understand what else she can say that hasn't already been said.
Jeff Kent. He looks exactly the same as he did during the game. Jeff Kent says that everyone is a little bitter but he can handle it. He brings up the old aphorism about how some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, and some people wonder what the hell just happened, and he wants to know which one Skupin is. Skupin says that he made things happen because he was often on the chopping block and had to save his own skin. Jeff Kent wants to know how Lisa didn't float in the middle like Denise, and Lisa says that she never did, and brings up the time she tried to blindside Malcolm. Jeff Kent thinks that was a float because when it didn't work, Lisa just went along with everyone else's plan, but Lisa reminds him that she was the one sitting at Tribal Council telling her tribe to go with Plan B. It's true that Lisa was a big part of forming strategy for her alliances, but she did it in a way that seemed like she wasn't. It helped her stay around but it's not helping her make her case in the finals.
Abi looks fantastic in a tight-fitting dress. Too bad she's such a viper. Abi's question is: why were you so mean to me? She asks Lisa why she should vote for her. Lisa says she was true to the Tandang alliance until it disintegrated. Abi asks the same question of Skupin, and Skupin says he deserves it because he outwitted, outplayed and outlasted. Maybe this is the former composition professor in me, but he needs to provide some supporting examples. Can he? Abi says that it's not a core value to "out-disrespect" and Skupin agrees. Well, that's settled. Abi tells Denise that she was really, really mean to her. Is that a question? Denise says that perhaps she could have expressed it differently, but their game strategies just didn't mesh, and she apologizes if Abi is really demoralized. If I were Denise, I would say, "Was there a question in there?" Because there wasn't. So don't answer.
Penner's up. He gives a big opening about how the jury is bitter and angry, of course, but he offers the finalists his "heartfelt congratulations" because he knows it's tough to face "smart people asking tough questions." I don't know that I've heard too many tough questions and let's take a pass on "smart people" because I don't want to be ruder than I usually am. He starts with Denise, and says that he's confused by some of what she's said because she told him once she didn't want to be seen as a bitch, but now she's shown the world that side. Denise's face falls. What did he mean by that? Was it like a compliment, like "You're one tough bitch" or was he saying that she's a bad person? We'll never know because he moves on.
Penner brings up to Skupin, and how he's going on and on about how he was always in danger, and yet his name was never written down, when Penner's name was written down fifteen times. Penner is really playing to the jury here, and they are eating out of his hand, but I think the audience at home is kind of like, "Is there a point to this?" At least I am. I mean, a point other than, "Look how clever I am! Me! Penner! Pay no attention to the finalists over there." Anyway, Penner says that Skupin's name was never written down and that record may continue after tonight. So my question is: I'm going to insult you and you can't respond?
Penner tells Lisa that they got close out there and then asks if she wants to share her secret. Lisa tells him to go ahead but Penner clearly wants to be the one to tell the jury that Lisa was on Facts of Life. They're surprised but they don't give a shit. Penner says that she kept that from everyone, and he kept her secret until now. What's his point with this? He know who's voting for whom. They talk at Ponderosa. He's trying to give a memorable speech, and it's coming off as petulant and self-important, at least to me. Anyway, Lisa asks if Penner talked about his teen jobs and Penner tries to laugh it off but her point remains: she didn't think it was relevant, and obviously none of them did since no one but Denise and Skupin recognized her anyway. Penner didn't even recognize her; Denise was the one who told him who Lisa was.
Penner concludes his speech by saying that one of them has ridden the other two like yoked oxen, and they hear the crowd cheering but they're cheering for the driver, and not the two oxen being led to slaughter. That might have been more interesting if he named names. Ugh, Penner. You can be so charming but sometimes you fall victim to your own hype.
Time to vote! Probst reminds them to write down the name of the person they want to win. RC votes for Lisa. Penner votes for Denise and says that she played a "pretty flawless game." So why be such a dick to her? Carter votes for "Skoopin." Heh. He's dumb. The other votes are cast, and Probst collects them...
...and then shows up live in the CBS studio. He greets everyone and then calls for a moment of silence for the victims of the shooting in Newtown, CT. And I am ALL FOR paying respects and it was a horrible tragedy, but when I was watching this live, this felt so, so out of place. Because when it's over, you have to go, "WOOOO SURVIVOR!" and it's jarring. Plus, I don't think one person would have said, "I can't believe they just ignored the tragedy."
Probst reads the votes. The first one is for Lisa, from RC. The second is for Denise, from Penner. The third vote is for Skupin (or SKOOPIN) from Carter. The three are all for Denise, and Probst doesn't read the rest, which means they were all for Denise. So she nearly swept it. She hugs Lisa and Skupin, and then heads out into the audience to hug her husband and daughter and various other family members. Congratulations, Denise. I can't believe you survived all the twists and turns, but you deserved it.