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Another week, another epic suck-fest for the Heroes. After Colby and Probst get into a fight over the latest challenge reward (it's chocolate, and Colby wants no part of the free samples Probst gives out, which hurts Probst's feelings and causes him to call Colby "brother" like the cheeseball he really is), James gets hurt and can no longer put weight on his left leg without it buckling underneath him. This, plus the fact that the reward is all the chocolate you can eat and JERRI LOVES CHOCOLATE, gives the Villains a fairly easy victory, with Jerri scoring the winning point even after Rupert drills her face into a pole. At the reward, Li'l Russell tells Parvati and Douche about his immunity idol (yes, he found another one. He knew exactly where it was and it still took him two days to find it) and seemingly aligns with them both against Rob, though he doesn't get a chance to put it to the test since the Heroes then lose the immunity challenge because they are all too stupid to solve puzzles. Tom, Colby, and Candice want to vote James out due to his inability to walk, while James, Amanda, and Rupert want to get rid of Tom. Once again, J.T. is the deciding vote. Instead of teaming up to get rid of a guy no one can trust, they all just beg him to vote their way and hope he's telling the truth when he looks both sides in the eye and promises to vote with them. In the end, he votes for Tom, which kind of makes you wonder why he didn't just vote with the James/Amanda/Rupert/Cirie/Candice alliance last week.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The Heroes return to camp from Tribal Council, although I am no longer interested in them now that Cirie is gone. Sigh. Colby says J.T. is a "hero," which I suppose is true if you wanted Colby to stay in this game longer than Cirie. He is not a hero to me. SIGH. Colby says the majority of his tribe might want him gone, but he intends to stay as long as possible. Meanwhile, J.T. is in full damage control mode, telling his former alliance that he didn't vote the way he did "for personal reasons" but to benefit the entire team. He claims that he had no idea which way he was voting before Tribal Council, which I really hope isn't true because then it means that Probst basically saved his good friend Colby from being voted out by convincing J.T. to vote for Cirie instead. Rupert growls in an interview that he is not at all pleased with J.T. And that's all we hear from anyone until the morning, when J.T. repeats to Amanda that he didn't take out Cirie because of any loyalty to Tom or Colby, but because he thought it was the best move for everyone to get rid of her as soon as possible. And if Amanda and the rest of her alliance believe that, then they are idiots. Oh, wait. They are idiots. But even then, they still aren't stupid enough to believe J.T. anymore, as Amanda interviews that while she'll tell J.T. whatever he wants to hear, she no longer trusts him. "Game on. Bring it on," she says. Normally, I'd laugh at her for thinking she's tough, but we have seen her follow through on promises like this in seasons past. It might be a bit too early for Amanda to have a rage attack, though.
Jerri looks so badass in the opening credits. That is all.
We head to the Villains camp, where Douche is leading an instruction session on the fake form of Tai Chi he created. Well, that's awesome. Douche actually admits in an interview that he made this all up (wait -- didn't he say two seasons ago that he learned this from an impossible-to-google-wise-man-source?). Even more amazingly, I see Sandra is going along with it. Oh, hold on a minute -- she's not totally into it, as when Douche starts singing, there are a few dubious looks from Sandra, Courtney, and Parvati before Sandra can't hold back any longer and busts out laughing. Douche says the only holdout on his ridiculousness was Li'l Russell, who interviews that his tribe is doing "Co Chi," which is "crap." While they're all distracted, he's going to search for the immunity idol again. And so, for the 50 billionth time in two seasons, we have a Li'l Russell looking for the idol montage. Finally, he finds it and proclaims that he is now in control of the entire game.
Reward challenge! Hey, remember that challenge last season where Ben kicked the other Russell in a preview of his racism and then Jeffrey Tambor died, but not as much as the other Russell a few challenges later? It's back! We need to recycle as many challenges from the Samoa season as possible because Li'l Russell is the only contestant who was on that season and thus he gets an unfair advantage. Also, it turns out that the reward challenge last week was recycled after all, but it was from the Fiji season that no one on this season was on and obviously I didn't watch. Anyway, the reward is a trip to somewhere pretty and lots of chocolate. Quick! Let's cut to a shot of the women reacting to this news (except for Danielle, of course, since she doesn't exist) because WOMEN LOVE CHOCOLATE! Especially Jerri, whose love of chocolate is legend on this show. Probst even offers up a preview of the chocolate to come with a small piece for each contestant. The men of the Heroes tribe refuse to take a piece of chocolate because they don't have lady hormones. The female Villains, on the other hand, are in heaven and offer to eat the Heroes' chocolate if they don't want it. Probst asks Colby why he looks so angry at the chocolate. Colby says he's just ready for the challenge, assuring Probst that he isn't mad at him. Probst offers Colby some chocolate again, but Colby says "don't need it. Let's go." "I got the message, brother. We'll go when I'm ready," Probst snaps, looking quite hurt. Uh oh. Trouble in paradise??? Or are Colby and Probst just trying to make it seem like they aren't friends after the appearance of impropriety that was last night's Tribal Council? Either way, Courtney is enjoying the hell out of this moment, because, once again, she is so awesome. On the verge of tears, Probst asks Rupert why no one on his tribe will take him up on this generous offer of a few tiny pieces of chocolate. Rupert says he wants the Heroes to see how focused his tribe is. Focused, perhaps. But I have a feeling they are soon going to wish they had that sugar high when the challenge starts and they get their asses kicked by the energetic chocolate-powered Villains. Li'l Russell points out that the Villains are clearly quite focused themselves, which is why they tend to win a lot. With that, the Villains sit out Sandra, Courtney and Parvati. The Heroes sit out the super-focused Colby. Wow, that's embarrassing. Wasn't he the one who was all about denying himself chocolate in order to be focused for the challenge ahead? And now he's sitting it out? What a tool.
For the first round, we have Tyson, Li'l Russell, and some chick I've never seen before against Candice, James, and Tom in the pit. On the platform are Jerri, Douche, and Rob against J.T. Amanda, and Rupert. "Let's go, Heroes!" Colby says. Good thing he didn't eat any of that chocolate, thus allowing him to stay focused on being his tribe's cheerleader. Probst calls go, and the very focused Heroes get all three balls to their platform people, mostly thanks to James, who gets two of them by himself. But then the platform people miss all of their shots, though James is able to get the rebounds and throw the balls right back to them. He's not so lucky when J.T. shoots his second shot, as he jumps up for the rebound and comes down funny on his left leg. I don't have HDTV but I can still see that doesn't look fun. To his credit, Li'l Russell checks on him to make sure he's okay, which is more than Probst is doing. James gets to his feet, but when he tries to put weight on his left leg, it buckles beneath him. Probst finally stops the challenge and has the doctors come in. Dr. Ramona is gone for good, it seems, so we get Dr. Claudia again, who is concerned about the ligaments in James's knee. But since it looks "stable" and James claims he isn't in pain, they stand him up again to see if he can now walk unassisted. He takes two steps and his knee buckles again, so it seems pretty clear to me that he's done something to his ligaments and they are no longer able to do their job properly. Perhaps if he worked out on his legs as much as he did his upper body, his quads would be stronger and better able to resist injury. With that, Dr. Claudia pulls James out of the challenge. Unfortunately for the Heroes, they can't just substitute Colby in James' place -- they have to do the challenge one man down. And since James was basically dominating this challenge so far, they are probably screwed.
Probst restarts the challenge, and the Heroes still do well, with Tom getting two balls to the platform people while Candice nearly manages to get one of her own until Li'l Russell wrestles it out of her arms. Awesomely, it's AMANDA of all people who gets the first point for the Heroes, thus proving that women are capable of something and useful to have on a tribe, PROBST. This might also prove how much women love chocolate. "Nice work!" Colby shouts. Good thing he refused that chocolate, or else he surely wouldn't be able to contribute to his tribe in this manner. The pit and platform crews switch places and we begin a new round. A bunch of shots miss for both tribes, and then the Villains employ the tactic of waiting for J.T. to get a ball and then basically carrying him to the Villains platform to get the ball to their team. That might have worked for Douche against Colby, but it's not as successful this time, and Rupert ultimately comes up with the ball and tosses it to his platform, even though he has a broken toe. While the platform people miss again, Douche kind of swats at J.T., thus getting him tackled and thrown on the ground hard by J.T. Douche rolls around on the ground, holding the back of his head. His dramarama is cut short, however, when Tyson makes a basket. The round is supposed to end at this point, but over in a corner, Rupert and Jerri are still wrestling over a ball. Rupert swings Jerri around, ultimately slamming her face into a fucking fence post. Oh, that did not look fun. WHY DO THEY DO THIS CHALLENGE?! IT IS SO FUCKING DANGEROUS. Rob rather heroically immediately comes to Jerri's aid, stepping between Rupert and Jerri and shoving Rupert backwards against the fence as Probst calls out for everyone to stop. Rupert says he didn't mean for that to happen, and I actually believe him, although this is another reason why they a) shouldn't do this challenge, and b) definitely shouldn't do it with men and women together like that. Jerri says she's fine, and tells Rupert to get away from her. "Like I meant to do that!" Rupert says, all defensive. Dude, you're a gigantic man and even though you didn't mean to do it, you still slammed a woman's face into a solid piece of wood, and did it after the round was over. Try saying you're sorry, and don't get all huffy if the woman doesn't immediately accept your apology. Also, CBS? We see enough violence against women on your police procedural shows -- let's leave it out of the reality shows, okay?
Jerri's nose isn't bleeding, so the unnecessary roughness is allowed to continue. Whoever scores the point is the winner. This time, the Villains start off strong, getting all three balls and even a rebound from one of the Heroes' shots, thanks to Danielle, who actually did something. Rob has a good shot, but J.T. cleverly uses his ball to knock Rob's ball off its path. Rob then does the same to J.T.'s shot. In the end, it's JERRI who gets the second and final point for the Villains with an amazing shot. Like, she threw that ball in a perfect spiral and it came down right into the net while Rupert watched helplessly. The only way that could have been better is if she'd managed to make the ball spell out "fuck you, Rupert," as it sailed through the air. The Villains' chocolate-loving ladies cheer her on from the sidelines. Even Courtney, who hasn't eaten chocolate (or anything else, for that matter) in 20 years! The women are so happy that even Sandra gives Parvati and Courtney a hug, and Sandra hates everyone! What a wonderful moment for women everywhere, with all three points scored coming from either a woman or Tyson, who is pretty much the same thing. Probst sends everyone away except for James, who gets a second look from the doctors.
After the break, Dr. Claudia wraps James's leg while saying that she's worried that he might have stretched something too much to be able to walk and thus continue in the game. She's going to stick James in a brace and see how he does.
What a bummer! Let's check in on the chocolate fest instead! Sure enough, there is a ton of chocolate on a table waiting for the Villains. Haven't they got to be craving, like, burgers? I love chocolate too, but I think this much on such an empty stomach would just make me sick. Plus if it doesn't come with a glass of milk (not chocolate milk, just regular white milk please) then it's like torture. OH! It turns out that it does, indeed, come with big pitchers of milk. Clearly, there is a woman (who does not suffer from the heartbreak of lactose intolerance) on the reward team this season. Or a small child. Whatever. Li'l Russell says he's doubly glad because not only does he get chocolate, but also James might be out of the game permanently. Pretty soon, though, the reward turns to sadness as everyone feels sick from too much chocolate. Jerri says this is the most chocolate she's ever eaten in one sitting. I wish I could say the same, but the fact is that one time I ate almost an entire Entenmanns Chocolate Fudge Cake in one sitting. The Villains go swimming to work off some of that sugar in this, like, incredible body of water that's basically a sunken hole in the middle of the ground. I think it's called the To Sua Sea Trench? It looks amazing, but I would never go there. It was formed from volcanic activity, and I am afraid of volcanoes. Since Li'l Russell (or, as Tyson calls him, "whatever his name is") and his ally Parvati are still eating chocolate, the talk in the cove turns to the idol and how Li'l Russell must surely have it by now. Rob interviews that he has every intention of getting rid of Li'l Russell and especially his idol ASAP. Good.
Back on land, Li'l Russell, WHO NEVER LEARNS, tells Parvati that he has the idol. She giggles, and then interviews that this makes her position stronger, which she desperately needs since she knows her tribe is against her. She says Li'l Russell is a good ally to have, only for him to kind of ruin things by telling her to just sit back and ride his coattails, which is all women are good for according to Li'l Russell. Parvati says she doesn't do that. "You will," Li'l Russell says. Yeah. We'll see. Please come through for me, Parvati. Li'l Russell then decides that their move is to somehow rope Douche into their evil plan to blindside Rob. Which they can't exactly do right now since Rob knows they have the idol and surely Li'l Russell must know that everyone knows he has it since he was so freaking obvious about looking for it, but whatever. Li'l Russell approaches Douche and tells him that he, and thus "they," have the idol. Douche pretends to be surprised and happy and just listens as Li'l Russell tells him his plan to take the idol into the merge and then use it to blindside someone, even if it means giving it to Douche to use. We then cut to a giddy Douche in an interview: "wow! I mean, this is crazy!" Hee hee hee. This show is turning into The Office with all the hilarious reaction cutaways. Oh, but then things are ruined for me when Douche buys into Li'l Russell's plan, saying that while he wants to play the game with Rob, he's honored that Li'l Russell trusted him with his idol non-secret. He says he just can't betray the trust of someone who offers him loyalty. Damn it. I forgot that Douche is totally insecure. Douche then bows to Li'l Russell and asks him to "knight" him. Li'l Russell touches the top of Douche's head, but Douche insists that he do it the proper way, which is tapping on Douche's shoulders with his hand in lieu of a sword (they could have used the machete to add some authenticity, but Li'l Russell threw it away). Douche should be ashamed of himself, but we all know he isn't because he has no shame. This all feeds very well into Li'l Russell's ego.
Back at the chocolate-less Heroes camp, the women are so very sad. Candice is upset about losing the chocolate. Amanda is sad about possibly losing James. But Dr. Candice reassures her that James is probably okay, and "it's just a ligament." Don't "just a ligaments" often need surgery to fix? And, like, months of recovery time? Amanda says if James has to leave the game, it'll be the second time he's been taken out by an injury. Hopefully that will tell the producers that James is too fragile for a game like this and he won't get a fourth season. Amanda starts crying about how much James wants to be in this game and she thinks of him as a protective older brother. Ugh. Remember that one time in the reward challenge when Amanda wasn't whiny and helpless? While she hopes for his return, J.T. and Rupert start to believe that he's not coming back at all, as he's been gone for such a long time at this point. Tom interviews that he doesn't want someone to get hurt, but then again, he and James don't exactly get along and if James goes, it can only help Tom's position, so ...
Ah, but, of course, James returns. As ridiculously over-the-top HEROIC music blares on the soundtrack, he hobbles up the beach with a giant brace on his leg. Amanda runs to greet him in the most girlish way possible. "James is back and I'm so happy!" she interviews. "Yaaaaay!" Rupert says, sounding retarded. I know I shouldn't say that, but I'm not a talented enough writer to think of another word that accurately describes how he just said "YAAAAY!" Twice. He said it that way twice. Oh no, wait -- three times. There's ... there's just no other word for it. James says the awesome Survivor doctors don't know exactly what's wrong with his knee, other than "it's not working." He says the knee "don't hurt," but can't really support his weight. Amanda asks if it's broken. Oh come on, Amanda. If it was broken IT WOULD HURT. Also, I don't think it's even possible to break your knee by landing on it funny with no outside force acting on it. Basically, James needs an MRI to find out what's really going on in his knee, but that would mean leaving the show. He lies down in the shelter as Candice interviews that if they lose the immunity challenge, she thinks James should be voted out.
Suddenly, we're at the immunity challenge. The chocolate-filled Villains watch the loser Heroes with limpin' James file in. Probst asks Douche for his opinion on seeing that James is still in the game. Douche says he's happy, because he wants to defeat his "worthy competitors" fair and square, not through injury. Of course. Probst then explains the immunity challenge, which was last played in Season 8. Tyson and invisible Danielle sit out for the Villains, and Jerri and James will be doing the calling for their respective tribes. I think this is the third time Jerri has been the caller at this kind of challenge, where she's had varying degrees of success. But at least she has experience. Probst makes a big deal out of the fact that James has to be the caller for his tribe because his leg won't let him do much else. Also, the course has a bunch of waist high barrels all over the place, just to make it extra likely that the blindfolded contestants will walk into them in comedic fashion. This happens pretty quickly from the start, as James directs J.T. right into a barrel. Then James screams at Rupert. He has the most unpleasant screaming voice I've ever heard. Douche and Sandra manage to get their tribe's first piece, while J.T. and Rob attempt to pick up one of the Heroes' pieces at the same time as their partners, Amanda and Courtney, go for the Villains' piece. Well, Amanda does. Courtney just kind of stands there, occasionally feeling Amanda up. Jerri tells Rob to drop the piece as Probst laughs. Li'l Russell and Parvati, meanwhile, also get a piece. It would seem that the Villains are ahead once again, but then Rupert and Candice and Tom and Colby manage to get pieces. J.T., meanwhile, falls over a piece. Douche and Sandra make their way towards their second piece. Rob once again has some tribe piece confusion and almost picks up another one of the Heroes' pieces. J.T. and Amanda have the same problem. They stumble around blindly while Rob somehow hurts himself as he and Courtney carry another piece back to the mat. He heads back out, only to slam into a piece that Tom and Colby are trying to carry back. That looked painful. At one point, all of the Heroes pairs are stuck out on the field, waving and calling for James to direct them. He screams at them to "shut up and stop!" because that's pretty much all James says during challenges.
Soon, the Villains have eight pieces on the mat while the Heroes are not far behind with seven. Meanwhile, Rob has learned his lesson and is now walking forward with one hand outstretched to feel for impediments and the other protectively covering his deal. I'm surprised he's the only male contestant we've seen doing that. Tom walks directly into the Heroes' ninth piece and appears to break his shins in the process. Meanwhile, Rob and Courtney are having problems getting their piece back due to its weight and Courtney's lack of muscle mass. As Tom and Colby arrive back with their hard-won ninth piece, Rupert and Candice are wandering around a field looking for the tenth and final piece. Douche and Sandra are chosen to get the tenth piece for the Villains, as Jerri probably figured they couldn't do any worse than Rupert. As Rupert and Candice stumble through the tall grass surrounding the last piece, Jerri sends the rest of the Villains pairs out to look for the final piece along with Douche and Sandra. Rupert and Candice get the last piece, and James orders them to "walk your ass, walk it walk it bring it back bring it baaaack" while clapping frantically. At one point, he directs them to simply walk right on over Li'l Russell and Parvati, who are standing (perhaps intentionally, which would be brilliant on Jerri's part) in their way. Douche and Sandra, meanwhile, finally come across the last piece. They're on their way back with it when the Heroes get all of their pieces and remove their blindfolds to begin the puzzle.
Tom takes control of the puzzle and tries to order his tribemates around, but either Candice or Amanda can be heard saying he's wrong. Meanwhile, Douche and Sandra finally arrive back with their last piece. How many times have we seen the Villains come from behind in the puzzle section of a challenge to win it? And this will be no different. While the Heroes argue with each other and move slowly and are generally stupid, the Villains work together like a well-oiled machine. Well, except for Sandra, who can't help but snap at her tribemates when they tell her not to put a piece somewhere, only to realize that she was right and put the piece there without giving her the proper credit. At one point, Jerri gets loud about something, but calms down when Li'l Russell tells her to and apologizes to her team for the outburst. Rob jumps down on the final piece on the top of Villains' cube and they win yet another challenge. The Heroes weren't even close. Rupert kicks the puzzle angrily, as if it's the puzzle's fault that everyone on his tribe is stupid. Probst hands the immunity idol back to the Villains and says they've won four out of five immunity challenges. He then congratulates the Heroes for "another good effort," like, remember in past seasons where Probst didn't have a bunch of mancrushes on the loser tribe and he criticized them at every turn? But this time, it's "another good effort." During the slow motion Walk of Shame, James voiceovers that he did his part for his tribe in the challenge, and thus even injured, he's a better tribemate than Tom, who he blames for "causing confusion at the puzzle areas" of challenges. Oh, but I thought that was all Stephenie's fault? Just keep blaming everyone else until you're the only person left, James.
Back at camp, the Heroes' mood is somber. Tom says the Villains are clearly better than they are when it comes to puzzles. J.T. says the Villains are clearly better than they when it comes to everything except sumo wrestling. With that, it's time to plot and scheme. Colby and Tom think James should be the to go, but aren't sure if they can get J.T. back on their side. J.T. meanwhile, walks up to Rupert, who is apparently just standing around in the woods looking like a scary homeless man, as per usual. Rupert mutters something about how Tom needs to go , and J.T. mumbles something back, and I think there should be some kind of rule that those two are not allowed to have a conversation with each other until they can figure out how to enunciate. Candice suddenly appears to them and says she thinks keeping James at the expense of Tom is "the dumbest move," pointing out that James is unable to run or really even walk. "I mean that's -- are we being stupid?" she asks. I love how Candice is constantly amazed at the lack of intelligence in her tribe. Rupert says he can't run either, what with his broken toe, so if that's why they're voting people out then they should have voted him out a long time ago. Rupert should have been voted out a long time ago according to any criteria. Obviously, even he can't believe that he's still there. James limps up at this point, so now three out of the four people in this meeting are unintelligible. I think he says something about how he wants to stay in this game despite his injury.
While James adjusts his huge leg brace, J.T. interviews that "logically," he should vote James out tonight, but he's trying to prove his loyalty to James, Rupert, and Amanda, and that would be impossible if he sided with Colby and Tom again. Um ... sorry, J.T., but you sort of burned that bridge when you sided with them the first time. It makes no sense to then defect back to the alliance you just screwed over, because now you'll have pissed off and lied to every single person in your tribe and they'll all know it. Rupert walks up to Amanda and says that Candice is trying to get rid of James because he's weak. He thinks that if they're voting according to strength, then Candice should be the to go. Even though Rupert himself just said that he was the weakest person in the tribe because of his broken toe. Amanda wants Tom to go before Candice, but they're both worried about J.T.'s loyalty. Why are they even considering J.T. as a loyal ally at all at this point? It makes no sense. J.T., meanwhile, agrees with Candice that it makes more sense to get rid of James. He says he and Candice are "in control" on this game right now as they are both crucial swing votes. Meanwhile, Amanda continues to fret about whether or not J.T. is on their side. "J.T. cannot cross us," Rupert growl-mutters, like, hasn't J.T. done that once before already? And yet, you're still relying on him for votes? Amanda interviews that she knows this is stupid, but she's still forced to count on J.T.'s vote tonight, because it's easier to do that than, say, actually do something remotely strategic like get together with Tom and Colby to vote J.T. out, since neither alliance can truly trust him and they both run the risk of being screwed over by his whims.
J.T. and Candice then meet with Tom and say they're going to side with him and vote James out, because that's obviously what's best for the tribe. Tom interviews that he knows he's in danger tonight, but hopeful that things will work out at Tribal Council. Again, he's relying on J.T. to keep his word rather than teaming up with the other alliance to get rid of him. J.T. then tells Rupert that he's voting Tom out tonight. "I'm with you. We're together," J.T. assures him. Tom and Colby, meanwhile, meet and discuss how J.T. said he's on their side. Colby then talks to J.T., who agrees with him that James should be voted out tonight. Colby interviews that everyone is counting on J.T. for a vote because he's "wishy-washy" and "flip-flops" to get the best possible advantage for himself in the game. "If he's making deals with everyone in this posse, I can guarantee that that will come back to bite him," Colby says. Not like he or anyone else in his tribe will actually move to make that happen -- they'll just hope someone else does the hard stuff for them.
The Heroes return to Tribal Council. Probst asks James "what happened" at the reward challenge. He says he's not really sure what's wrong with his leg, which doesn't hurt but is non-functional. Probst says his niece could beat James in a race right now. "No she couldn't," James says, adding that not even Probst himself could beat James in a race. I actually agree with James here on both counts. Even if he couldn't beat them in a race physically, he'd just yell and scream at them until they curled up into a little ball, sobbing, and he'd easily limp his way to victory. Rupert says he still thinks that James is strong and will be okay. J.T. says that he, like James, wouldn't be willing to leave a game due to injury unless absolutely forced to do so, but at the same time, he is very concerned about James's leg and how it could be a liability for the entire tribe in future challenges.
Probst then talks about the immunity challenge, again asking James what happened. James says he did his part and put the team ahead going into the puzzle, at which point they stopped working as a team and each tried to solve the puzzle on his own. Probst notices that James is eying Tom as he says this, and James puts the blame on Tom and, out of nowhere, Candice, for being the worst offenders. Candice rolls her eyes and says James is only saying that because he's mad at them for considering voting him out because of his injury. "Baby, you just hustlin' for your thing," James mutters; "I'm tired of arguing with her. I'm honestly over both of y'all." Clearly he's not too tired to interrupt them and blame them for his problems, though. Tom speaks up and says James isn't being kept because Rupert hopes he'll get better -- it's because James is part of an alliance. Amanda then says that Tom once tried to get her voted out for being a "weak player" just like he's trying to get James voted out, except she actually wasn't weak but was in a different alliance. I think she just made a good point there, but I'm not exactly sure.
Probst takes all this in and comes up with Tom being someone who "won't shut up and just do." Tom disagrees, saying that the only person who really "shuts up and does" is James when it comes to voting, as he'll just vote how his alliance tells him to. "If he's quiet during the challenges, it's probably 'cause he doesn't know what's going on," Tom says. Hee hee hee. Meanwhile, James just sits there and fumes but says nothing in response to Tom because he only snaps at women. Probst asks J.T. if Tom is responsible for the tribe's many losses. J.T. says he doesn't think so, adding that no one person can be responsible for their losses since they all lost together. Probst then asks Tom if he's worried that he's going home tonight. Tom says he thinks he is, unless "a couple of good people" vote in a way that will benefit the entire tribe (but most especially Tom himself), i.e. they get rid of James. I like how Tom only thinks people are "good" if they help him win a million dollars. He says if people vote for him instead of James, then they're just voting to keep the numbers. James says if people honestly think that Tom is stronger than him, they should vote him out tonight because he just wants them to win, y'all.
With that, we vote. Tom votes for James, saying "all mass, no class." Oh snap, no crap. James votes for Tom, but doesn't have any clever rhymes to accompany it. Probst returns with the urn and reads the votes. Tom gets the first two, then James gets two. And then Tom gets the rest, so I guess Candice was full of it after all and J.T. thinks it's a good idea to get rid of a fellow past winner. I thought he switched his alliance last week to keep another first place finisher in the game, but I guess he was so threatened by Cirie and so confident that her alliance would forgive him for it that he risked his spot in the game to vote her out. And so far, it seems to have worked.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.