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Natalie might have won the game, but Li'l Russell is the only person Probst wants to talk to. He offers Natalie $10,000 to take the title of "Sole Survivor" away from her (which she refuses -- awesome!) before offering Jaison a new pair of socks and then throwing them in the prop fire. He should have kept them – he could've used them to dry his tears of sadness and defeat. He does end up winning the "Fan Favorite" prize, but that's mostly because America didn't know who else was on the show besides Shambo to vote for. Case in point: Brett came in fourth, and he's invisible. As were John, Kelly and Liz, who didn't speak much or at all. Other "revelations" include: Ben and Yasmin and Laura and Shambo seem to have let bygones be bygones (although I have a feeling Shambo is still bitter), Betsy loves Probst, and Probst's nieces love Shambo. And now, let's look forward to season, which has got to be better than this one was… right?
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see the season's most memorable moments. And check back soon for the full recap!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We kick off the reunion show with a montage of Natalie's greatest moments: Li'l Russell making a deal with her (followed by an interview where she says her plan is to make people think they should take her to the end because they can beat her -- which is exactly what happened! I'm honestly impressed with how well Natalie played Li'l Russell), her sucking at challenges, her doing really well in challenges (lest we forget how she basically won that flag-placing reward challenge for her team), when she killed the rat, and finally when she got Erik voted out. Probst has changed from his khakis into his Reunion show outfit, like, way to dress to the nines with a fitted sweatshirt there, guy. He congratulates Natalie on her win before asking her what made her finally decide to come on this show after a lot of back-and-forth about it during the casting process. Um ... why did they cast someone who wasn't sure if she wanted to do this show in the first place? When will they fire that horrible woman who makes these terrible casting decisions? Natalie says she just decided she had to go for it. Probst points out that she had to give up her job to do so, which also meant giving up a company car, "the insurance" and "the gas." Yes, I'm sure free gas was a real sticking point for Natalie there. Come on, Probst. Natalie says that she did indeed have to quit a job she loved as well as the benefits that came with it, including health insurance. That's a shame, because she's going to need that insurance when Li'l Russell runs her over with his company car. He is looking pissed OFF sitting to her right now. By the way, props to Natalie's job for not letting her just leave work for over a month to appear on a reality show. Not in this economy!
Probst asks Natalie what the impact of this show has been on her life aside from the million dollar prize. She says it was a "very humbling experience" and showed her the difference between wants and needs. "You really don't need a razor to survive," she says, as the camera cuts to Shambo for some reason. Is the director trying to tell us that Shambo could use a razor, perhaps to chop off that awful mullet? Probst asks Natalie what her key move in the game was. She apologizes to Erik and says it was when she convinced the Galu women to get rid of Erik. And that's it for Natalie! Now let's talk about Probst's favorite subject besides Probst: Li'l Russell. Natalie rolls her eyes awesomely, no doubt knowing that her win will now be entirely overshadowed by her loser ally. He asks Natalie how her alliance with Li'l Russell "worked." Natalie says they were a team and they talked over decisions. We get a close-up of Li'l Russell, and he is crying. He's totally crying! He got second place and $100,000 and he's crying that he didn't get first. I don't think we've ever seen someone this bitter about not winning before, especially not after he's had quite a few months between the Final Tribal and now to prepare for a possible loss and come to terms with it. Obviously, Li'l Russell never really thought he was going to lose. Which is probably the reason why he lost in the first place. Anyway, Natalie says that Li'l Russell was obvious in his moves and took both the credit and the blame, while she stayed behind him and was more subtle in her game. She says they played very different social games, and that was why she won and he did not.
Probst asks Li'l Russell if he agrees. Li'l Russell tries not to sob as he says that Natalie's key move was not getting rid of Erik, but teaming up with Li'l Russell. Oh, except that Li'l Russell told her back before the Final Tribal Council that he was responsible for that alliance and not her, so that couldn't have been her key move. Anyway, when he says that, the audience cheers. They love Li'l Russell! He should have won! He was robbed! The jury was bitter! Right, well, they didn't have to live with Li'l Russell for 39 days. We only had to deal with him one hour a week for three months. I think it's a lot easier to respect someone's gameplay from afar. "Maybe I had two key moves, then," Natalie shrugs. Yes, might as well speak while you still can, Natalie. Because pretty soon, you won't be able to get a word in edgewise, nor will anyone else. Li'l Russell of course believes that his social game was awesome, since Jaison, Mick, Natalie and Shambo all trusted him. Yeah, and two of them were in the Final Three and thus unable to vote for you while Jaison was so bitter about your abuse of his trust that he voted for Natalie. Social game = fail.
Probst points out the obvious: that Li'l Russell is "visibly upset." Li'l Russell doesn't deny it, saying he played "the best strategic game in history." The crowd cheers. Most of the contestants roll their eyes. Li'l Russell adds that he's not the only person who believes this, like that means anything. America thinks that Li'l Russell played a great strategic game because: a) the editors did everything possible to force them to think this, and b) everyone else this season sat around like a log doing nothing, thus enabling Li'l Russell to play them all. How can Li'l Russell really say that his strategic game was so great when he didn't win? Because that's a strategy, too. When it really counted, he both under and overestimated his fellow contestants. Natalie didn't, and she won. He outplayed eighteen people, but she outplayed the only one who mattered. Li'l Russell claims that "millions of people" also believe that he's the best strategic player in the history of this game. I will guarantee you that millions of people don't give a shit. And if they do, they still think that Richard Hatch is the best strategic player in the history of this game. Because that's the last season they actually watched. Li'l Russell concludes that all Natalie did was jump on his back and allow him to take her to the end.
Probst asks Li'l Russell if his mistake was who he brought to the Final Three. Would he have won the game if he'd brought Jaison and Shambo instead? Li'l Russell admits that he wonders that himself. Well, I guess his strategic game wasn't that great after all, then, was it? Probst does that stupid thing where he asks the jury how they would have voted if Jaison and Shambo were in the Final Three, as if these results really mean anything. Li'l Russell gets most of the votes, but this is also after the contestants have gotten a chance to see the show and without Jaison getting a chance to speak and answer questions. I'm pretty sure he would have blown Li'l Russell and Shambo out of the water and taken it. "You made the wrong choice," Probst says. Um, it wasn't Li'l Russell's "choice" to make. There were other people voting, too. I doubt they would have gone against Li'l Russell's wishes, but you never know.
Li'l Russell says he has a question for Natalie. A proposal? Isn't he already married? Oh, wait -- this is just more camera hoggery. He says he wants the title of "sole Survivor" and will pay her $10,000 for it. He wants Probst to say it and have it written down somehow. I don't think Natalie gets a signed paper calling her the sole Survivor either, so whatever. Natalie doesn't answer, so Probst claims that this "brings up an interesting question," which it really doesn't. He turns to Erik and asks him if Li'l Russell is a better player than Natalie despite the fact that she won, saying he "dominated the game with big, bold moves." I would like point out that big, bold moves do not necessarily make you a better player in this game. Especially since they're part of the reason why Li'l Russell LOST it. I mean, Sugar made lots of "big, bold moves" in her season and no one is calling her one of this show's greatest players. Well, except for me. I thought she was awesome, engineering almost everyone's ouster at the end, always surprising both her tribemates and the audience because she never cared if those moves were advantageous to her position because she hated reality shows anyway, and then showing up at the Reunion looking amazing. Also, let's talk about another player who made "big, bold moves" and actually won: Chris from Season 9. Probst gave him no credit whatsoever because he was dating one of the contestants Chris screwed over on his way to the top, but Chris was awesome from Day 1. He went into a merge as a member of a minority alliance that dwindled down to just himself and still managed to win. And unlike Li'l Russell, he went into the Final Tribal Council knowing exactly who the jurors were and what he had to do to win them over: apologize, grovel, and let them all feel superior to him.
Anyway, back to the current season. After Probst finishes telling us all why Li'l Russell is the greatest thing to ever happen to this show, Erik replies that this is the first time in his life he's encountered a game or competition where "winning is arbitrary." Probst thinks Erik is trying to say that Li'l Russell was, then, the better player, but Erik just says that he doesn't value Li'l Russell's strategy over Natalie's or vice versa. Probst cuts him off and turns to Jaison, asking him about "social politics" as he points out that audience is "overwhelmingly" in Li'l Russell's favor while the people who actually played with Li'l Russell and had to deal with him for 39 days are not. I don't think the audience is really a good barometer of Li'l Russell's gameplay here. First of all, they can't stop themselves from yelling things out when people are trying to speak, and second, aren't many of them members of Li'l Russell's family? Hardly impartial. Jaison says that this game is very similar to working in an office, where everyone has to work together while simultaneously trying to advance themselves as individuals above their co-workers. He says every office has a Li'l Russell, but whereas that person is hated in a real office by the people who have to work with him, on this show that kind of guy and his negative contributions are applauded. He concludes by saying that Natalie played the better game. The audience cheers for her just as loudly as they cheered for Li'l Russell. "People hate Russell in real life," Jaison says, as the cheering grows louder; "but then you come on Survivor and all of the sudden all the back-stabbing and pouring out water and burning socks is gameplay? I mean, what is that?" Well, it's kind of what you signed up for on this show, Jaison, but obviously you'd never seen it before you were recruited to come on it so I can understand your confusion. Li'l Russell says that Jaison is just bitter about Li'l Russell burning his socks. He stands up and whips out a pair of socks he just happened to have in his pocket (either Li'l Russell stuffed his pants for the show or he planned this in advance) and hands them to Jaison. "Thank you!" Jaison says. And then Li'l Russell throws them into the prop fire. Most of the panel finds this hilarious, although not Brett, Dave Ball, or Jaison, who (I think -- it's hard to hear in all the commotion) points out that things like that are why Li'l Russell lost to Natalie. Shambo tries to calm Jaison down, even though he isn't at all angry. Butt out, Shambo. With that, Probst goes to a commercial, although he promises that we'll be hearing a lot more from Li'l Russell. Awesome. A montage of the many ill-advised physical challenges we had this season plays us out.
Back from the break, it's time for the Shambo montage! A third of it is devoted to how much Dave Ball hated her, another third is devoted to her hair and the contestants' reactions to it, and the final third is, of course, spent on her own delusions of awesomeness. Probst points out that Shambo is "hard to miss" and asks if she's getting a big reaction from the people on the streets. Shambo says she is, and a very positive one. Well, of course. This is the woman who claimed that people are drawn to her because of how obvious it is that she rocks. She talks about "touching kids' lives" and "riding the wave" of positivity or something. I don't know. I wish people would stop thinking that being on a stupid reality show meant they were qualified to teach others life lessons. Probst claims that his nieces love Shambo, and so he believes that Shambo must be especially popular with children, as they are not yet aware of the fact that mullets are for weirdos. Shambo claims that her fans are many and of all ages, not just children. She's so popular that sometimes she has trouble doing her job because people keep trying to talk to her. Shambo is bigger than the Beatles! She can't go out in public! Mass hysteria all over Seattle! Catch Shambo Fever!
Probst asks Shambo about her infamous hair as we see a picture of a young Shambo on screen. It's 1986 and Shambo is 22 years old and rocking the same mullet with headband look she has today. "Oh dear God," Shambo says upon seeing the picture. Probst asks her over and over again what year the picture was taken even though it says 1986 right there, so we have to hear not only the year but also where the picture was taken and what was going on at the time: she's in Okinawa, Japan, playing in a Marine Corps. softball game. What! So she did play softball after all? But she was so bad at any and all softball-related challenges! "Wow, 23 years?" Probst asks, even though he already knew this because he freaking asked her about it on the show two weeks ago. Shambo says her mullet actually started in 1984. But that means this year marked the 25th anniversary of Shambo's mullet! Surely they had a parade in Seattle to celebrate.
Probst then asks Shambo and Laura about their difficult relationship, which Probst claims was one of the most talked about this season. I guess it was, since there were no other relationships to really talk about. Shambo says that she and Laura are both independent and strong women, so they had to basically establish a pecking order from Day 1. Shambo illustrates this point by imitating a chicken, because that's what she loves to do. Laura seems to think that Shambo was saying that they actually did make chicken sounds and refutes this so that the audience may laugh at Shambo before saying that she thinks the root of her and Shambo's problems were that everyone on Galu thought that Grandma Laura was the strongest woman on their tribe and not Shambo the Marine. "I think that's probably kind of hard to hear," she says. Also, she had a maternal bond with the girls on their tribe while Shambo, being only half a woman with her non-child-havingness, did not. So basically, Shambo is being diplomatic and saying they're both proud strong women who each wanted to be in charge, while Laura is saying that Shambo, her womb barren, was jealous of Laura's awesomeness. Laura, you suck. Probst asks what their relationship is like today. "We've exchanged a few messages," Laura says. "WOW, that said everything," Probst interrupts, as if he really expects everyone on this show to be the best of friends afterwards like he was with Colby. Also Julie for a while. Laura and Shambo will never be friends but they did agree to forgive each other or whatever and that's that.
Probst asks Dave Ball if he was surprised at how quickly and deeply he bonded with some people. Dave Ball says it was shocking and that he feels like Brett, Kelly, and Laura are members of his family now. Thanks for that, Dave Ball. We'll talk to you never again!
Probst turns to Brett and asks him how much it sucks to lose a million dollars because he couldn't balance a statue on a pole. Brett's hair is long and girly and he's definitely gained all of his pre-show weight back and more, causing him to look a lot like Hayley Joel Osment. But fatter. And younger. Not a good look, Brett. Brett says that final immunity challenge was a lot of pressure and stress but he chalks the results up to fate. I guess fate hates Brett, then. Probst then asks the jury if Brett would have won if he was in the finals. We don't even bother to cut to them to see their response because it's too obvious. Probst asks Brett how it felt to watch himself lose a million dollars again tonight. Brett says it was pretty awful and "one for my memoirs." Huh. Brett's memoirs. Chapter 1: "..." Chapter 2: "..." Chapter 3: "I lost Survivor." The End.
And now it's time to revisit the death of Russell! We get a quick flashback to his death and then we see him now, looking great for a dead guy. Russell says he was so out of it at the time that he didn't realize how bad off he was. It wasn't until he actually saw the episode that he realized that he totally died. Gosh, it sucks when that happens, huh? Your hand keeps going through doors and you walk through walls and no one pays attention to you and you're like "what the hell?" and then you finally realize that you're a ghost and it all makes sense. It turns out that Russell watched the episode with his wife and didn't warn her ahead of time how bad it was because he didn't know, so it was an unpleasant surprise for them both. They then had a fight over whether or not Russell was dead. She won, of course, because he is. Probst asks Russell about the "near-death experience" he had. Russell says that he actually felt really good at one point while he was lying on the ground -- the sky looked bluer than ever, he felt better strong and happy and he was ready to get back in the game and kick ass. But no, it was just his brain releasing endorphins or whatever to prepare him for death. Probst credits the medical team for saving Russell, although if they had monitored the contestants more closely in the first place, it wouldn't have gotten to that point. Probst takes us out to the commercial with a long list of Li'l Russell's accomplishments and promises us more time with him when we return. Oh, good. It's not like there are 19 other people sitting there too, most of whom we haven't even heard from yet.
Back from the break, we get another montage of Li'l Russell's "greatest" moments, as if this entire season wasn't a montage of Li'l Russell as it was. Oh, and he's still freaking crying. I don't feel sorry for him at all. Remember how much glee he took in destroying everyone else's chance to win a million dollars? Well, now he knows how they felt. And they all took the loss a lot better than he did. Probst asks Natalie what her decision is regarding Li'l Russell's stupid offer to give her $10,000 for the "sole Survivor" title that doesn't really exist in the first place. "I'm gonna decline," Natalie says. HA! But it gets better! Li'l Russell mutters something about upping the price to $100,000 and she snaps "no, it's priceless. You have to get the majority of the votes." Probst cuts her off here to add his own two cents that Natalie is crazy to turn down $100,000 and Li'l Russell is crazy to offer it at all. Oh please. Li'l Russell would never have given her that money. He probably would have taken the meaningless non-existent title and then laughed at her for being stupid enough to give it to him in follow-up interviews. Also, Natalie has a million dollars, so Li'l Russell's $10,000 and $100,000 are pittances to her. What I like about this is that it shows that Natalie really wasn't the pushover we thought she was -- she just pretended to be one in order to win the game. As soon as she didn't have to say yes to Li'l Russell all the time, she didn't. Also, Li'l Russell is still crying.
Probst asks him how the people on the streets reacted to him as the season went on. Li'l Russell says they started off hating him and that he might have been "the most hated of all times." Uh, no. Sorry again, Li'l Russell. There have been many people even more deserving of our hatred on the show. Now, he says, "it seems like millions of people love me." They don't love you, Li'l Russell. They love the fictional person the editors created that they only had to spend an hour a week with. "I don't know how that happened, but it happened," he says. I know how it happened. As soon as they realized that they had to build their entire season around Li'l Russell, they stopped showing him doing things like lying that he was a victim of Hurricane Katrina and started showing him in a much more positive light. Probst asks how kids react to Li'l Russell, like anyone cares what the kids think. This isn't the freaking Disney Channel, Probst. It's CBS. Stop talking about children, please. Li'l Russell says he has two twin girls in fourth grade. Someone in the audience cheers at this, like, way to sound really excited about little girls, guy. Li'l Russell claims that his daughters' entire school loves him. Well, they probably like Hannah Montana, too. And we already heard about how much the kids love Shambo. So all that really tells me is that children have no taste.
Probst brings up how Li'l Russell found the idol without any clues and how that seems so simple in retrospect but this was the first time anyone had ever done such a thing. Well, that's partially because the hidden immunity idol used to be on Exile where only a few select people even had access to it in the first place, but they didn't do that this year and hid them around camp instead. Li'l Russell figured out that if there was no Exile and there were still immunity idols in this game, then chances were pretty good that they'd be hidden at camp. And then he looked everywhere until he found them, which was easy since they weren't, say, buried twenty paces south of a large tree like in the past, but tucked away in the few landmark spots around camp. Li'l Russell claims that he looked for the idols for a long time, so it wasn't as instant or easy as it seemed on the show. Li'l Russell, still crying, says he takes this game very seriously and assumed the rest of the cast would, too, so they'd vote for the best player and he'd win the million. "But obviously not," he sob-sighs. Yes, well, if the other contestants had been playing the game as seriously as Li'l Russell, then he never would have made it that far in the first place. But since they were lazy idiots who didn't want to strategize or anything, he was able to get rid of them all quite easily. But that also meant that they'd vote like lazy idiots on the jury, too. If they weren't doing any strategizing of their own, what makes Li'l Russell think they'd respect someone who did? You can't have it both ways.
Probst decides to ask Li'l Russell about his "dumb-ass girl alliance" comment, pointing out that he has three women in his family to answer to on that front. Li'l Russell points out that he also has his mother, so it's four. Then he looks over at her in the crowd and smiles and he is endearing for half a second. Probst asks if he regrets the comments he made about women in light of that. Of course, Li'l Russell can't admit to being wrong about anything, so he says he has no regrets. Probst does not then take this opportunity to ask Li'l Russell about his Hurricane Katrina story, as that would make Li'l Russell look sort of irredeemable. He does point out that "one of those dumb-ass girls beat your ass." Natalie laughs, but makes sure to keep her eye on Li'l Russell just in case he tries to kill her.
And now it's time to meet Mrs. Li'l Russell. Is she his sister? They kind of look alike, especially since they're both wearing hats. Mrs. Li'l Russell is also wearing what appears to be a pleather jacket and her best bedazzled shirt. Probst asks her why she agreed to marry him. She says he's charming and despite his behavior on the show, "a great guy. And a great father. And I love him." The audience awws and Li'l Russell gets all teary-eyed, which he was already. Can we pay attention to someone else now please??
Oh no! Not Ben! I'd rather talk to Li'l Russell more than Ben. But we come back from the commercial to footage of Ben kicking Russell in the challenge and then getting kicked out for it. Ben shouldn't have kicked Russell, but he totally took a dive. Look at him rolling around on the ground. Ben shows off his stupid outlaw tattoo again and ... uh ... he's kind of cute. He wasn't cute on the show but he is now. Too bad he's a dick. Probst asks Ben if they're cool and Ben says they are. And not in contention for the $100,000 Fan Favorite prize, which will be announced right now. Our top three: Li'l Russell, Shambo, and Brett. Brett's like, "?" I guess the audience voted for the only two people who got camera time and then where like "who the hell is Brett? Must be some mistake. It'd be hilarious if the guy who wasn't on this season won. I'll vote for him!" And the winner is ... god damn Li'l Russell. Once again, America has let me down. Probst asks Mick how Li'l Russell can win the fan favorite award while the jury favorite, Natalie, isn't even in the top three. Um, maybe because Natalie didn't get any camera time and also people voted before they even saw the final show that cast her in a much better light in terms of her gameplay? Mick's just like, "well, no one voted for me in the game or outside of it, so I don't care." Actually, he says Li'l Russell was great to watch. If not, presumably, to live with.
Probst remembers that he has like fifteen other contestants to talk to and changes the subject to Jeffrey Tambor and his medical crisis that is nothing compared to Dead Russell's. Jeffrey Tambor says he's fine now and unlike Dead Russell (and, currently, Li'l Russell), he didn't cry on camera when his medical crisis happened. "Just kidding!" he says when everyone boos. He's also lost 65 pounds since being on the show. Probst asks Ashley how being on the show brought her closer to her father. She says that she and her dad watched the show every week, so being on it strengthened their connection or whatever. Probst asks Monica about her experience on the show. She says what just about everyone else always says about growing and learning a lot. Probst asks Yasmin about her relationship with Ben. Ben and Yasmin hug (they had plenty of time to settle their differences in the loser's lodge for 30 days, I guess) and she says that her parents raised her to forgive ... if not forget. It helps that Yasmin looks aMAYzing.
Probst talks to Betsy , saying that more than anyone else this season, people thought she was voted out way too soon. Betsy agrees with this. She gives her four kids a shout-out and says they're proud of her and she totally has a crush on Probst. Yes, that's what you want to hear your mother say on TV. Especially when she's still married to your dad. Probst hams it up for the cameras and pretends to have similar feelings for Betsy, then immediately changes the subject to Marisa and asks her if she regrets being "too aggressive" and thus becoming Li'l Russell's first victim. Marisa does not. As for Liz, Kelly, and John, uh ... well, I guess they should have found some idols or lied about Hurricane Katrina if they wanted camera time. We head to a commercial with a montage of the awful weather the contestants endured.
After the break, Probst gives us a sneak preview of season. We get a nice recap of the greatest moments of the series thus far and WAIT A SECOND! What the hell is Douche doing in there?!?!?!? There is no way he's up there with Richard Hatch or Mike getting burned in the fire or Jon lying about his dead grandma. Booo! And they're putting Li'l Russell in there, too? CRAP. There is no doubt in my mind that he's going to be on season, as will Douche and a bunch of other people I probably never wanted to see again. Can't wait!
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.