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Drunk with power after her victory over Laura, Shambo decides that everyone in camp will bow to her whim, even if that whim comes from what she believes is a psychic dream to vote out Dave Ball. She thinks God is telling her to take Dave Ball out , but I think it's more like she got ridiculously angry with Dave Ball when he didn't approve of her method of cooking the freshly-slaughtered chickens by boiling them in water for two hours when everyone else wanted to roast them. He almost wins immunity in a strength/endurance challenge, but loses out to Jaison because of an advantage Jaison won during the auction. Incidentally, Shambo's psychic dreams didn't help her out for the auction, as the only thing she won was a mystery item that ended up being sea slug guts with Parmesan cheese on top. So it looks like Dave Ball is on his way out until Li'l Russell can't help but tell John that he has the idol, which then means that Li'l Russell wants John out instead of Dave Ball. Jaison wants to stick with Dave Ball so as to avoid alienating Shambo, but in the end they just don't tell her what's going on as she votes for Dave Ball, John votes for Mick, and everyone else votes for John.
Shambo may be a nutjob, but at least she's still one of our favorite reality stars of the season.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Probst recaps the season thus far, just in case last week's recap of the season thus far wasn't enough for you. Then Aiga return to camp under the watchful eyes of chickens and hermit crabs. Shambo is beside herself with joy that Laura is gone, proclaiming "Medusa has been dethroned" and asking the others how awesome that is. They don't respond to her because they are aware of how important the social game is and how rubbing Galu's noses in this could be a bad idea. Traitor John interviews that he had no intention of going home early because he picked the wrong rock, and so switched his vote to Laura. As punishment, he now has to deal with Monica's whiny ass on the beach. He tells her that both he and Foa Foa made the "correct move," and interviews that Li'l Russell agreed to send someone from Foa Foa home . He seems very confident of both of those facts. Monica interviews that while this is an individual game, it's also important to show "loyalty and integrity and respect for the people that you made promises to." How is it that Monica can sometimes be whiny, annoying, and stupid but other times you can see why she's a law student? She wants John to go home for being a Judas to Galu. Too bad that because of John's vote-switch, Monica's alliance no longer has the power to control who goes .
The morning, treemail arrives and all are pleased to see it's time for the Survivor auction. Including me! I love it, despite the fact that it disappoints me almost every season. The tribe arrives at the auction block and Probst pretends that he's happy to see their smiles. Even though he isn't, because he hates them. He explains the rules: each contestant has $500, bidding is in $20 increments, and there is no sharing of money or food. With that, he places the first item on the table: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Natalie immediately bids $200 for it and wins because no one else wants to spend that much money that soon. Thanks for the boring auction, Natalie. It didn't even come with a glass of milk. But Natalie takes a bite out of it and says it was worth every penny. The item is covered. Jaison, John, and Monica put in bids until Shambo goes over the top with $200. Dave Ball bids $220, most likely because he doesn't like Shambo. She bids $240 and wins it. And just what did she win? Well, it's Shambo, so ... it's not good. Probst happily says she has a "Survivor version of spaghetti" as he lifts the lid to reveal the leftover sea noodles and sea slug guts from the gross food challenge. "Oh, dude," Shambo says, which is the appropriate reaction. "Yum. Thank you," she adds, trying to put on a brave face. But wait, there's more! Probst adds a generous sprinkling of Parmesan cheese. "Good stuff," Shambo says; "does it have like nutritional starch value?" That is not the appropriate reaction. And then she puts a big forkful in her mouth, although I notice that it's most sea noodles and no sea slug guts.
The item will also remain covered. Dave Ball immediately bids $300 for it, followed by $320 from Jaison and $340 from Monica. Li'l Russell thinks they're idiots and that the evil Survivor producers put two nasty items up back-to-back. Awesomely, he's wrong! Monica wins a whole roast chicken. How can she possibly eat that entire thing? What a stupid prize. They should have given her a chicken breast and mashed potatoes and maybe a biscuit. Yum. The fourth item is not food but a "significant advantage" in the immunity challenge. John and Jaison bid back and forth and then Jaison interviews that he decided that someone from Foa Foa needed to win that advantage so he decided to give up his chance for food to take it. He bids $500 in order to prevent John from having any chance at it. "All right, Jaison!" Dave Ball says, apparently thinking that it's awesome when people in the rival alliance improve their chances at getting the immunity you so desperately need.
Probst lifts the lid on the item: a plate with beer, a cheeseburger, all the fixings, and fries. That burger looks nasty, but I'm sure it looks amazing to the contestants. Mick quickly bids $500 on it while Jaison looks so, so sorry. Oh, don't be too sad, Jaison. I'm sure Mick will be the sorry one once that food hits his digestive system. The sixth item up for bid is a clue to the location of the immunity idol. John and Natalie put in bids for it while Li'l Russell stays silent, which should basically tell everyone that he already has the idol and thus knows that the immunity clue is worthless. John wins it for $200 and interviews that while he is aware of the fact that Li'l Russell might already have the idol, he didn't want to sit back and let someone else get the clue just in case it was still out there. I don't really like John and think he's not as smart as he thinks he is, but I must admit that does make sense. Then again, so would looking for the idol as soon as they got that first clue, and I didn't see him doing that.
Probst points at the shower stall that's apparently been standing there the entire time unbeknownst to us at home. It comes with shampoo, conditioner, and clean underwear, which has got to be a treat to these people. It is to Natalie, who says "clean underwear" to herself before bidding $120. The women apparently don't care for underwear while the men want to see Natalie in the shower, so she wins it. Natalie steps in the shower and we see that the door is really narrow, and placed up there pretty high. Really, Survivor shower building staff? You couldn't have just given the contestant a proper door? Natalie is in danger of exposing herself below the bottom of the door, but in the end she's tall enough to stay modest. Cheesy saxophone music plays as Natalie gets in the shower and disrobes. Before anyone can think this is too sexy, Shambo just ruins the moment by cackling.
And finally, we have desert. It's a huge slice of apple pie and it looks nasty. But Brett wants it and bids $180, his voice cracking with excitement or possibly disuse. John bids $300 and Brett can't bid again as his one line per episode quota has already been filled. So John wins it. Probst says John has a choice now: he can either keep the slice of pie he won, or give it up for an entire pie and choose four people to get a slice each. But then he doesn't get any pie for himself. The entire pie looks even nastier than the lone slice. Did they not have any pie tins to cook that in? It looks like it's been cooked in a cake pan. Probst says John can either be selfish or "try to buy some goodwill." John turns to the rest of the group and asks what they want him to do. "Is anyone really stoked on pie?" he asks. Natalie sure is. Jaison already muttered something about how apple pie is his favorite desert. Now that John's gotten their hopes up, he decides to keep the one slice of pie for himself. "No one's going to vote me off because they didn't get a piece of apple pie," he says. Li'l Russell interviews that John made the wrong decision and he should have given the pie "to everybody," even though that wasn't an option. He could only give it to four people. Li'l Russell says he would have given the pie to Foa Foa and Shambo, but that would have been an easy decision for him because everyone knows who his alliance is. John would have had to choose between Foa Foa and Galu and one group would have been angry to lose out. Meanwhile, Li'l Russell didn't win any food at all and kind of gave away the fact that he has the immunity idol, so it's not like he fared much better.
Aiga return to camp and John sets off to search for the immunity idol. It tells him to look for a mossy rock wall and search along the base. He does, lifting up rocks and digging around for a while but finding nothing. He says Li'l Russell might have it but he's still not sure. So winning that clue has done nothing for him, while winning that slice of pie pissed everybody off. Nice job at the auction, John. Keep playing your awesome game.
Meanwhile, Shambo goes to hang out with her chickens, both of whom are in the cage despite Li'l Russell's evil plan to set them free and cause chaos. Nice how they only highlight Li'l Russell's plans when they work. If those chickens had escaped again, you know that would have been shoved down our throats for like three episodes. Shambo gently informs the chickens that they're both being eaten for lunch today. "I just wanted to let you know, okay?" she says. I'd rather not know if I was the chicken, quite frankly. "I'll talk to you in heaven when I go to heaven, okay?" Shambo concludes. Seriously? Doesn't she have better things to do and better people to speak to in heaven? Like her sister maybe? And there had better not be a bunch of chickens in heaven, waking me up early in the morning with their stupid crowing. Good thing I'm probably not going there anyway. Shambo interviews that the chickens were her only source of happiness for "the last twenty-nine days." That's quite a feat, considering that: a. it's only Day 28 and b. they didn't even win the chickens until like Day 9. Shambo claims that she and the chickens "had conversations," which basically consisted of her telling them to lay some eggs because if they didn't, they'd be killed. Well, that sounds like a fun chat for them. Also, apparently it didn't really work out so well because even though they laid eggs, they're still being eaten. So Shambo lied to her best friends. Shambo then makes chicken clucking sounds to demonstrate their response, which I believe was chicken language for "go away, crazy lady. We're only letting you talk to us because we're in a cage and thus have no choice in the matter." "I think that I brought them as much peace as they brought me and it was a win-win," Shambo says. Um, no, it wasn't. You ate them. That's definitely win-lose. With that, Mick and Li'l Russell slaughter the chickens off camera.
Shambo is sad to see her friends die, but perfectly happy to be the one in charge of cooking them. She wants to boil them. Jaison wants to rotisserie them. "Absolutely not," Shambo says; "I'll take care of the cooking." Jaison interviews that everyone else wants to have rotisserie chicken tonight, but Shambo insists on "doing something crazy." We see her stirring a pot with a chicken foot sticking out of it, which I'm sure they all find appetizing. Uh oh -- here comes Dave Ball. He sees the chicken boiling in the pot and starts to say something but Shambo immediately shuts him down with "we're not having a conversation about the soup this time everybody, because I'm in no mood. So just trust me. We'll just call it a bad case of PMS but I'm really in no mood to talk about soup today." You know, I've had PMS quite a few times in my life, and it has never caused me to ruin everyone's lunch or rendered me completely unable to entertain the ideas of other people in a group, especially when there was $1 million on the line. So it seems to me like this is less about PMS and more about Shambo being terrible at living with other people. And also a control freak. Dave Ball says that he should have a say in how the chickens are prepared, especially considering the fact that he's the reason why they have them at all. I'm pretty sure Monica just gave the viewers at home a tiny smile. She's much more fun without Laura around, isn't she? Dave Ball says that boiling a chicken for two hours will ruin it. "You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about right now and you gotta just respect that on some level," Shambo says. Actually, he doesn't have to respect that at all, Shambo. Maybe you should respect the fact that you're not the only one who has an opinion on the best way to cook a chicken. In the end, Dave Ball takes the same path of least resistance that everyone else took and lets Shambo do whatever she wants. But that's not enough for Shambo, who interviews that this is the angriest she's been the entire time she's been out here, because if her sworn enemy isn't Laura then I guess it's Dave Ball. As long as it's someone. "He really snapped my head off my body," she says. Um, no, Shambo. That's what happened to your best friends the chickens. Your head is still attached to your neck and your mullet is still attached to your head. The complete package remains intact. She continues that when Dave Ball asked her about the chickens she went "red code emergency alert. Shannon has lost her mind." The fact that she's losing her mind over someone wanting her to rotisserie chickens suggests that said mind was already gone. "He has absolutely no idea who he's picking a fight with today," she mutters to herself. You know, he really wasn't that bad to her. She was much meaner and patronizing to him than he was to her. Meanwhile, we never do find out if her boiling technique worked or not.
That night, the camera crew and editors got really bored and decided to go crazy with shots of Shambo sleeping, the chickens, a crab, and I think there's a solar eclipse thrown in there for good measure. Shambo tells us that God made her "really special." I agree. Shambo is special. But I think her and my definitions differ. She thinks she's awesome because she's had about 30 clairvoyant dreams. "I think it's God's divine intervention at work," she says. Does Shambo really think God has nothing better to do than welcome chickens to heaven and give her psychic dreams? Come on. Anyway, Shambo dreamt last night that Dave Ball was voted out and she believes it's God's will, and not, you know, just her being mad at Dave Ball and letting her newfound power go to her head. The morning, she goes to Li'l Russell and says Dave Ball must be the person out. "Set in frickin' stone," she says. Li'l Russell agrees with this, then interviews that he was perfectly happy to encourage Shambo's crazy thoughts that God was telling her to vote Dave Ball out. He laughs at her. If I didn't already hate Li'l Russell so much, I'd probably really like him now. Too bad the editors made him so hateful in the beginning. Li'l Russell goes to Natalie and tells her the plan is to vote for Dave Ball because that's what Shambo wants and she's unstable. "Oh my word," Natalie says.
With that, it's time for the immunity challenge. Probst takes back the immunity necklace and explains the challenge. Each contestant has a station with a rope with several knots in it attached to a "very heavy log." All the contestants have to do is hold onto the rope and keep the log from falling and breaking a porcelain tile. Every three minutes they have to switch hands and move down to the lowest knot. The lower they get, the heavier the log will feel. I hope the logs are weighted differently according to the contestants' gender and weight, or else this is kind of unfair. As for Jaison's immunity advantage, he gets to move his hand two knots up at any point during the challenge.
With that, the contestants grab the first section of rope with their right hands. Shouldn't they be allowed to choose which hand they want to start with? It's not fair to the left-handed people if they're stuck holding the final piece of rope with their weaker right hand, or vice-versa. Anyway, the challenge begins. It's uneventful until nine minutes in, when Jaison decides to use his advantage and move his hand back up to the second knot while everyone else is on the fourth. Probst seems to disapprove of how early Jaison used his advantage, although it doesn't really matter how early you use it because that two-knot advantage lasts for the duration of the challenge, so it's really in Jaison's best interest to use it as soon as possible, I'd think. 21 minutes in, no one has let go of the log yet and it's time to move down another knot. Shambo can't take it, and lets go of her log in the most comedic way possible. It hits the tile with a glass breaking sound effect as she tumbles backwards off her podium and flails around in the grass. Li'l Russell finds her antics so hilarious that he starts laughing and lets go of his log, although he claims it was because he got a charley horse in his forearm. With that, it's time to move to the final position on the rope. This is the very end, where there is no knot, making it that much easier for the rope to slip through your fingers. Except for Jaison, who gets to stay two knots above that for the rest of the competition. I think he should have to move down every three minutes until he's at the same spot as everyone else, but whatever.
Monica is soon out, followed by John, who confidently says "go ahead boys" as if he's choosing to bow out of the competition. I think he's just trying to save face, but it makes him look like even more of an asshole that he did already in this episode. The rope slips out of Brett's hands soon after, leaving Jaison, Dave Ball, Mick, and freaking Natalie still in the contest. I am totally cheering for Natalie. Mick is out . Go Natalie, go! "That hand better be bleeding when you let go," Probst tells the remaining contestants. No, actually, it had better not be. Because we all know what happens to people who have open wounds on this show. They get medevac'ed out and show up to the jury with their IV poles. Natalie is finally done, leaving it between Jaison and Dave Ball. Jaison has that advantage, but Dave Ball seems determined and Jaison has proven to be a quitter in past challenges. Both men's arms are shaking, but in the end the rope slips through Dave Ball's fingers and Jaison wins. Wow, there was no way Jaison would have won if he didn't have that advantage. Dave Ball should've bid on the advantage first, but he's shown himself to be utterly terrible at thinking ahead and probably didn't realize that how important immunity would be for a strong guy in the minority alliance. Jaison interviews that now that he has immunity and Dave Ball doesn't, they'll be able to vote Dave out tonight. On the way out, Shambo interviews that she has Foa Foa "at [her] disposal" to get rid of whoever she wants to go home . And that person is Dave Ball. "He doesn't even know it," she says. Well, I think he has a feeling. That's why he tried so hard to win immunity.
Day 30 at Aiga. Dave Ball congratulates Jaison on his win. Mick interviews that Shambo is "furious" at Dave Ball and wants him out and won't hear of voting for anyone else. And that's fine with Foa Foa for now, because they're still counting on Shambo for the numbers advantage and thus have to do what she tells them. Dave Ball gets a consolation prize hug from Monica, but you can tell he's worried that he's the to go. Mick, meanwhile, is worried that Galu will somehow be able to convince Shambo to come back to their side. Li'l Russell says "no way." Ordinarily I'd say he's being way too confident, but this is Shambo so he's right -- she won't hear of voting for anyone but Dave Ball. Even if it means cutting off her nose to tell her face "fuck you for telling me how to cook chickens."
While Shambo slumbers away in her hammock, John talks to Li'l Russell. He says he can "get" Galu to vote for someone from Foa Foa tonight. Um, yeah, no shit. That's what they were going to do anyway. It's what they've been trying to do all along except for that one time when they got rid of Erik. Shut up, John. Li'l Russell nods and agrees with everything John says and they decide to vote Mick out tonight. John seems to think that he and Li'l Russell have a secret Final Two alliance, and that the immunity idol he's sure Li'l Russell has can be used to save either one of them. Li'l Russell pauses before saying "think you'll be able to find it?" while giggling. He is so smooth. It's obvious that he has it and John knows it, plus Li'l Russell just can't stop himself from bragging about his stupid idol, so he admits to John that he does indeed have it. Li'l Russell then runs to an interview and says he might have to get rid of John because he's a strategic threat and, most importantly, because Li'l Russell doesn't want him to have a chance to tell anyone else that he has the idol. He says people should really close their ears whenever he talks just in case he says something incriminating that they then have to be voted out for. Don't worry, Li'l Russell. I always close my ears when you talk, although that's more because I hate you than because I'm afraid you'll let one of your secrets slips. "It was my mistake, but sorry John -- you gotta go home for it," Li'l Russell concludes. Of course, to John he agrees not to burn him and be loyal to him for the rest of the game.
As soon as Li'l Russell is done with his interview, he heads for Dave Ball and tells him that he can save him from going home tonight if Dave Ball and Galu vote for John. Dave Ball is fine with that, especially since now they can get back at John for flipping on Laura and basically fucking Galu over. "It will be you if it's not John. I want you to stay in the game," Li'l Russell says. "All right. All right, brother. All right," Dave Ball says. Master strategist.
Li'l Russell heads for Mick and asks him who he would get rid of if he could get rid of one person. "John," Mick says. Of course, Li'l Russell agrees. He tells Mick about the deal he made with Dave Ball and Galu to vote for John, and thinks they're too scared not to do it. Mick is hesitant, though, saying he doesn't trust Galu to keep their word. I don't think they're smart enough to break it, honestly. And it doesn't really matter if they do, since they only have three votes to Foa Foa's four. So unless they can convince Shambo and John to vote with them (which they can't in the case of Shambo and shouldn't try in the case of Traitor John), their only chance probably is to do what Li'l Russell says and hope he's telling the truth. Conversely, they could try to convince Mick, Jaison, and/or Natalie to switch to their alliance, but I don't think anyone on Galu is smart enough to do that or anyone from Foa Foa is dumb enough (or smart enough, depending on how you look at it) to switch anyway.
Mick tells Jaison about the plan to boot John. Jaison doesn't like it, pointing out that Shambo will not be happy with them if Dave Ball doesn't go home tonight, and may well flip back to Galu, creating a 4-4 tie at the Tribal Council. "We're doing to her exactly what they did to her -- taking her for granted," Jaison points out wisely. He's so right! The only reason why Li'l Russell wants to break his word to Shambo is to protect himself and his immunity idol. Mick has no reason to go for John over Dave Ball. "This may be one of our only shots to get rid of John," Mick says. "How -- why?" Jaison asks. Mick doesn't have an answer for that. He just wants to go along with Li'l Russell's plan because it's gotten him this far and he doesn't seem to understand that what's in Li'l Russell's best interests may not be in his own.
With that, the tribe arrives at Tribal Council. Laura is wearing way too much makeup for her triumphant return. Probst talks to Jaison first, saying he gave up food at the auction for an immunity advantage that obviously paid off. "Thank god," Jaison says. Oh, whatever. He wasn't saying that when he was whining about Mick's cheeseburger. Probst asks Dave Ball if he only lost to Jaison because of the advantage, and Dave Ball says "in the end, my hand slipped and his didn't." Very diplomatic, Dave Ball. And now Probst wants to know if Dave Ball's "physical display" could get him voted out tonight. Dave Ball says it might have, but oh well. I love how Probst assumes that decisions over who to vote out are being made based on perceived strength and not, say, something truly important like not wanting to eat boiled chicken or getting rid of the guy you accidentally told about your immunity idol.
Probst turns to Shambo and asks her if it's become easier or harder to get along with her tribemates as the game goes on. Shambo says she's had "ups and downs" as Laura laughs at her from the jury bench. Hush, Laura. Shambo is still in the game. You aren't. Advantage: Shambo. Somehow. Shambo says today, at least, was "peaceful" and there was no gameplay going on. Ha! That's because she spent the day snoozing in the hammock waiting for God to talk to her in her dreams. Li'l Russell says for him, today was all gameplay and no peace. "Wow," Shambo mutters. Probst is shocked that Shambo is shocked that people are playing this game and basically calls her an idiot while the jury laughs at her. Oh, settle down, Probst. Shambo is ridiculous enough without you calling attention to it. Shambo just says that her vote is based on advancing herself in the game and making sure someone unworthy doesn't win a million dollars. She does not add the third reason, that God told her who to vote for in her dream and it just happened to be the same person she got in a fight with. She says it's "imperative" to her that someone deserving wins the million. And I'm sure it's totally a coincidence that the people she thinks are worthy of winning a million dollars are the same people who don't treat her like shit (to her face, anyway). Comments like that show that her game is all emotion and no strategy. It also shows that she's a terrible judge of character, since she probably thinks that Li'l Russell is one of the worthy people.
Probst asks Dave Ball how he thinks Shambo feels about him. "I've done my best to be (pause while he tries to find the right words, which probably don't exist) as honest and kind as I can with Shambo," Dave Ball says. Amazing how he can be diplomatic and sincere while at the same time talking about Shambo like she's a nasty child incapable of self-control. Probst turns to John and asks him if he thinks he's one of the people that Shambo thinks deserves to win this game. John has no idea what people really think of him, so he says he's sure that Shambo thinks he's worthy. Probst asks Mick if tonight's vote is going to be a blindside like the past three have been. Mick says he doesn't think so -- everyone brought his stuff to Tribal tonight so obviously everyone must think there's a chance he could be out. Well, except Jaison. I think he'd be surprised if he was voted out. You know, since he has immunity. Li'l Russell, on the other hand, says he does think the person being voted out tonight will be surprised. As for Shambo: "I don't think they're gonna be shocked at all." And Dave Ball says that he'll only be shocked if tonight's vote goes the way he's expecting it to, which makes everyone laugh. Including Probst, who never likes to admit that a contestant made a funny and also probably has trouble laughing because of all the botox. So that was impressive. John gets the last word, saying there are "two potential names" going home tonight and both of them have said they wouldn't be surprised to be voted out tonight. Way to be so confident about tonight's vote that you basically publicly state who you think will be going home, John. That's good gameplay and won't come back to bite you in the ass at all.
With that, they vote. Shambo votes for Dave Ball, saying "thanks for the chickens. They were great friends." No, Shambo. They were not great friends. Because they are chickens. And also because you ate them, which is a serious friendship-ender. I don't think I've seen any friendships come back after one friend eats the other. John votes for Mick. Dave Ball votes for John, actually apologizing to him for having to do so. Don't apologize to John, Dave Ball. He screwed your alliance over and thinks he's better than you and me and everyone else ever.
Probst reads the votes: one for Mick. John smiles confidently even though that vote for Mick is his own and thus proves nothing. The second vote is Shambo's vote for Dave Ball, who looks ready to grab his bag and leave. Then there's his vote for John, which Shambo rolls her eyes at while John just nods and smiles, so certain are they that Dave Ball's fuck you vote for John won't mean anything. But then there's a second vote for John, and boy does his face fall! With the third vote, he starts to do some mental math in his head to make sure those three votes are from Dave Ball, Monica, and Brett. The fourth vote for him must therefore be from Foa Foa, and that's when he's really surprised. "He's so screwed," Laura whispers. What a great prediction from Laura that was! It's not like it isn't completely obvious at this point or anything. Dave Ball, meanwhile, is pretty damn pleased. With five votes, John is out. Mick can't help but throw a smile at the jury while Shambo's shock is obvious. "She has no idea what happened," Laura whispers happily. Yes, but that's kind of been the case with almost every Tribal Shambo's been to, and it hasn't affected her game at all since, you know, she's still there and hasn't had a vote cast against her yet, I believe. John says good-bye to the "boys" on his way out. Shambo is the only person who says good-bye back. While the jury celebrates, Dave Ball winks at them like he had anything to do with this and wasn't just seriously lucky that Li'l Russell decided to stir things up.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.