In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
The gross food challenge is back! Except that not all the contestants have to eat the food and only one of them -- Ashley -- is unable to do it, barfing up her sea slug guts smoothie and giving Galu another reward challenge win. They get a barbecue feast, but Russell decides that Shambo will not enjoy the fruits of her labor (she had to chug a glass of giant clam, octopus, sea snail, and some Samoan juice that is probably disgusting while four members of Galu didn't have to drink anything), and sends her to Foa Foa. He says it's to punish her for losing a chicken, but it's pretty obvious to her and everyone else that it's because no one on Galu likes her. Then again, I'm not sure how much the people on Galu like each other, as there is some sniping amongst them and they're all starting to seem like awful people. Then it rains for two days and everyone is miserable heading into the immunity challenge, which Foa Foa promptly loses. It's too wet outside the shelter to even go off for secret talks about who to vote off at Tribal Council, so they end up deciding to just vote for whoever they think should go home. I was hoping there would be all kinds of votes thrown around, but in the end, Ashley votes for Liz and everyone else (including her "sister," Natalie), votes for Ashley.
Who will win? We've got our predictions. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Last time on Survivor: DOES EVERY SINGLE PREVIOUSLY SEGMENT HAVE TO PROMINENTLY FEATURE LI'L RUSSELL??? I really don't get it. I watch this show to see a variety of contestants compete and scheme against each other. If they want to go this route, why not just give him his own reality show on the E! channel or something? And then Probst can make up all the stories about Li'l Russell he wants and Li'l Russell can talk about how awesome he is despite a lack of evidence over there and the rest of the contestants will have the chance to have personalities and camera time. It's win-win!
Galu returns home from Tribal Council, where Shambo interviews that she is shocked that Yasmin went home. This woman has no idea what is going on with anything, ever. She's feeling particularly discouraged (or as she calls it, "disparaged") because everyone else on her tribe voted for Yasmin, so clearly they're all in an alliance and she is not. She heads for bed while the wonder twins (particularly the older one who should know better) talk shit about her and how she is "silly" and "socially awkward." You know what isn't socially awkward? A thirty-nine-year-old grandmother who thinks she fits in with the hot twenty-somethings. Oh, wait. Awesomely, the younger wonder twin refers to Shambo as "Sham-boo" when she interviews that she knows Shambo voted against her, so she wants her gone . I guess Russell was smart to vote with the majority after all.
The morning, Erik attempts to bathe himself in the ocean, only to get his ass kicked by a wave. Waves and clotheslines -- what will this mighty warrior succumb to ? "This ocean is a real bitch," he complains. Then there's like two minutes of filler shots of the ocean, so it looks like this is going to be a really slow episode.
The people of Foa Foa also notice that the ocean has been acting up lately. Ashley worries that there's a storm coming while Liz stupidly giggles something about the ocean washing their flag away. Jaison attempts to remain optimistic for, like, the first time this season as Mick arrives with the treemail -- it's time for a gross food challenge! Hooray! I miss those! The clue talks about how the ocean provides plenty of edible "treats" that the contestants will have to eat without barfing. "We're gonna have to eat gross like stuff from the ocean," Liz says. Way to put it together, Liz. What is her deal? She can't possibly be this dumb. She was much smarter in the first episode. Is her body eating her brain or something? Mick is hoping the gross ocean food will be fish or shrimp, but Liz says it'll probably be "Samoan rat." Because those come from the ocean. Moron. Ashley interviews that she's an "experimental eater," so she hopes she'll do well in the challenge and prove herself useful to her tribe full of assholes.
Liz goes off with Li'l Russell and says she's "worried about Ashley" in terms of the upcoming challenge. Li'l Russell says he's more worried about Liz, who apparently said something earlier about the food challenge being difficult for her. Liz says she'll be fine and she's not a picky eater, unlike some people in their tribe who "don't even eat coconut." Apparently, that's Ashley. Then again, Liz has been so stupid lately that I'm not sure if she knows what a coconut is or what parts of it are edible. Li'l Russell races over to Jaison and Mick to report that Liz appears to be scheming against Ashley. Mick agrees that Liz has a tendency to talk about people, which Li'l Russell refers to as "spreading seeds." And how is telling other people that Liz is trying to scheme not spreading seeds, too? Why can't Jaison and Mick see this? Or if they do, why don't we get to hear them say so in an interview? Instead, Li'l Russell interviews that Liz is a huge threat to him because he must be the only person on the tribe spreading any seeds. Except that the interview where he says this was clearly done in the first few days of the game based on his beard and hair growth. And fatness.
Reward challenge! And just look at all these ingredients! Sea slug guts and octopus and it's all covered in flies! Oh, I can't wait! The tribes arrive and Foa Foa is not too upset or surprised to see that Yasmin is gone. Probst explains the challenge: he has a roulette wheel of grossness and a blender. One contestant from either tribe will step up and roll a ball into the spinning wheel. Wherever it lands will dictate the ingredients for their "Samoa smoothie." Each swallowed smoothie is worth one point, and the first tribe to get five points wins the reward. Probst says there isn't a timed element to this game, but obviously there will be if both tribe get five points on the same turn. Also, since there are six people on Foa Foa, then why not make the game go to six points to ensure that everyone on that tribe will have to drink one smoothie? The winning tribe gets meat and barbecue equipment, but will have to send someone over to the losing tribe's camp, thus missing out on the reward. So that sucks. Also, Galu gets to sit three people out of the challenge, and the lucky winners of that are the blonde, the older wonder twin, and John. Um, didn't the older wonder twin sit out the last challenge? The immunity challenge last week? And doesn't Probst always say they can't sit someone out in back-to-back challenges? What the hell?
First up are Shambo and Jaison. Probst spins the wheel and they let their balls go. Shambo's lands on "Giant Clam" (heh heh heh) while Jaison's lands on "Jeff's Choice," much to Probst's delight. Choose potatoes, Probst! It will be like clam chowder. Probst dumps some giant clam into the blender straight out of the clam shell, and there's something very sad about that. That clam is probably like a hundred years old and they killed it for a stupid reality show. Probst decides to put some octopus into the smoothie, saying that the flies really seem to like it so he's sure Shambo and Jaison will, too. And then he goes crazy and starts adding other things like sea snail, Noni juice, and a fresh seaweed garnish, which isn't really fair. Probst should only be allowed to add one ingredient. Also, he sucks at blending things because there's stuff flying out of the blender because he didn't put the top on right. Shambo drinks her glass no problem, while Jaison struggles not to barf his last mouthful out. In the end, he somehow manages to swallow it, and probably some barf, too.
Russell and Li'l Russell are up. Both of their balls land on jellyfish. Probst throws some in along with milk, just to be evil. I wonder what jellyfish tastes like. Probably nothing. Russell drinks his first, slams the glass down, and walks back to his tribe triumphantly and -- I must admit -- awesomely. Li'l Russell has trouble, though, spitting some of his back into the glass. His tribe urges him to think about the steak reward, but I don't think he should be thinking about food at all right now. He powers the rest of the glass down as Probst says "that's what you call a survivor right there." Fuck you, Probst. Shambo and Russell did a better job with their smoothies and you didn't congratulate them that way. If you can't help but play favorites then don't be the host.
Mick goes up with that random guy on Galu. They get giant clam and sea cucumber. Probst puts them in with milk and blends for like one second. The random guy has long strings of nastiness coming out of his mouth. Mick swallows his shake down but is clearly forcing himself to do so. The random guy seems to be having trouble, but he gulps the last part down and licks the inside of the glass, too. Probst calls him a "freak." So the random guy is a freak but Li'l Russell is a survivor? Whatever.
Liz and Monica are . They both get sea urchin, and Probst dumps the entire plate of it in the blender. What if someone else lands on sea urchin, though? The girls toast and drink. Monica impresses the hell out of Probst and me by slamming her smoothie down. Liz needs more time, but she gets it down in the end.
Dave Ball and Ashley both get sea slug guts. "Maybe the worst thing out here," Probst says cheerfully. Yeah, that looks pretty foul. Probst feels sorry for them and gives them water instead of milk. As he blends, Dave Ball wonders what guts a sea slug has: "kidneys or livers or what?" Ashley would prefer not to think about it. They get their glasses, and it looks so nasty that I almost threw up just watching them. Dave Ball gets his down, but struggles to keep it there. He makes gagging sounds and motions, so Ashley turns around and tries to block him out. Dave Ball gets the point for Galu, which means Ashley has to finish hers or Foa Foa will lose. Erik decides to be a dick and talk about puking and how gross the smoothie looks. "It looks like she already vomited in the glass and then she's gotta drink the vomit," he says with a smile as Ashley chews her smoothie for some reason. Do not chew the chunks, Ashley. Just swallow. She gets so close to finishing the entire glass but gives up and runs away to barf with just a tiny little bit of smoothie left in the glass. Galu wins. I guess Liz was right about Ashley after all.
So, who will Russell send to Camp Foa Foa to miss out on the reward? "I'm gonna send my girl Shambo again!" he says. Of course. "Excuse me?" she says. And now it's awkward. "We need more info, babe," he says. She says she's already gone to Foa Foa once, so this isn't fair. She asks Russell to pick someone else, but he refuses. As soon as she's out of earshot, Russell mutters something to his tribe about this being because Shambo let the chicken escape. No, it's about her being the least popular and thus the safest choice for him, because he doesn't have to worry about pissing someone powerful off and getting voted out because of it. Even so, I really don't think it's fair that someone who helped win the reward has to miss out on it. He should have picked one of the three people he sat out. Like the older wonder twin who shouldn't have been allowed to sit out in the first place. Also, why didn't Foa Foa get to send someone over to Galu last week when they won that immunity challenge? Is it really that difficult to keep things consistent on this show after eighteen freaking seasons?
Foa Foa and Shambo arrive at camp. Foa Foa are pissed to lose the reward, but Shambo points out that she has a right to be even more pissed. Way to minimize everyone else's suffering, Shambo. They sympathize with her and say they're happy to have her there. She says she's happy to be there because Foa Foa is kind and good and always tell the truth. Shambo asks for a group hug from Foa Foa and they oblige her, even Li'l Russell. As Ashley and Natalie hang out on the beach, Mick interviews that he's annoyed with Ashley for losing the challenge for Foa Foa. Yeah, it sucks to lose steaks, but did you see those sea slug guts? That was not easy. I don't think Natalie could have done it. In fact, as Natalie and Ashley take a seat on the beach, Natalie says she probably couldn't have finished the smoothie, either. Ashley worries that she'll be the person to go now. Natalie tries to reassure her and tell her how awesome she is, and that makes Ashley feel better. Natalie interviews that she was sincere in that, as she and Ashley are "like sisters."
Back at Galu, Russell demands that everyone listen to his stupid speech before they can start cooking and eating their reward. He says he sent Shambo to Foa Foa because she lost the chicken, and now that she has "suffered some consequences" to clear her "slate." Shut up, Russell. This meaningless tribe chief stuff has gone to his head. He seems to think it's a good thing, rather than a giant target that becomes even bigger when he has to make decisions that are sure to cause dissension amongst the ranks. He commandeers the fire-starting for the barbecue and, according to Dave Ball, does a terrible job of it. He blames that on all the kindling being wet, but Dave Ball speaks up that all they need is a spark, air, and fuel to start a fire. "Dave, you do a lot of talking but not a lot of action," Russell says. Dave Ball says he was the one who started the fire in the first place, and it only went out when Russell sat down and started playing with it. He'd be happy to help if they ask him. One of the girls tells him that if he can start a fire he should just go ahead and start it. Dave Ball says he has to get the command from the tribe chief. Russell Rory Freemans that Dave Ball is a "grown ass man" who can take initiative. Since when? Isn't Russell all about telling people what to do and making stupid tribe leader speeches? Meanwhile, the blonde just sits there and rolls her eyes. I think she even gave the camera a brief look. She just might be awesome. Dave Ball interviews that he has a tendency to patronize people without knowing it, and he's afraid he'll do that in this game. Dave Ball has a good read on himself, I'd say. In our brief interactions I found him to be pretty patronizing and he probably didn't mean it then, either. He apologizes to Russell and offers to shake hands, which Russell says is not necessary. Dave Ball takes a turn trying to start the fire and is successful. I think that whole spat was more about Russell being really annoying and everyone's tempers being short because they wanted food than anything else. Dave Ball interviews that he appears to be the only person on Galu capable of starting a fire, but he doesn't need to play that up because he thinks his "awesomeness" "speaks for itself." And then we get plenty of shots of the women eating large sausages.
Back at Foa Foa, Shambo decides to share her idol clues with everyone. Oh, yuck. Li'l Russell is wearing his stupid saggy underwears again. The third clue basically says to stick your hand in a hole in a tree and get the idol. Shambo knows exactly which tree and which hole it's referring to and looks for it in front of everyone, but can't find it. Li'l Russell interviews that Shambo will never find the idol because he has it. Shambo starts to think that someone on Foa Foa already found it, and asks them each straight-out if they do. Li'l Russell says he does not, and wouldn't he tell them if he did? "I hope so," Liz says. Shambo decides that Ben must have had the idol and didn't use it when he was voted out. Liz interviews that she now knows that someone has the idol, and if it wasn't Ben, then it's Li'l Russell. And she thinks it's Li'l Russell. Ah HA! Liz has brains after all.
But then she confronts Li'l Russell about it, saying she's seen him nosing around the tree and she knows he has the idol and is lying to her when he says he doesn't. Li'l Russell tries to turn the tables on Liz, asking her why she cares about this so much. Liz says she's concerned because her ally isn't being honest with her, duh. Li'l Russell draws himself up to his full height of like 4' 5" and attempts to strike an aggressive pose, saying Liz is "freaking [him] out" by accusing him of lying and then saying she'll be the to go if she keeps it up. "You're throwing all kinds of stupid stuff around," he says to her. But in an interview, he says that Liz knows what's going on with him, but threatening him is stupid. Except that he just threatened to have her voted out, so how is her threat stupid and his isn't? Then again, that interview appeared to be from like seven days ago based on his beard growth so he was probably talking about Marisa or Betsy. "Lemme tell you: you're walking on thin ice. Period," Li'l Russell tells Liz as he totally run-waddles away from her. The editors can chill out with the dramatic music score there, by the way.
That night at Galu, it is pouring and everyone is huddled inside the shelter, miserable. Kelly the blonde interviews that their comfort items are drenched and now useless, and she now wishes Russell had chosen the functional prize with the waterproof tarp instead. Well, that didn't take long. But I'm sure those scented candles are coming in really handy right now. The day, it's still raining. Dave Ball has to build a small bridge to get to the treemail, which is now surrounded by a moat. He returns to the camp with it, but no one cares. They are seriously unhappy, but have a challenge to prepare for anyway. The random guy (Brett!) gets an actual interview, but says nothing worth writing down here. Also, his voice cracks at the end.
Our waterlogged contestants enter the challenge area. Shambo returns to her tribe. Erik puts his arm around her, but everyone else just scowls and looks wet and sad. Probst takes great joy in pointing out that no one besides Erik seems to give a shit about Shambo, to which Monica just says that "it's a game" and "everyone's just trying to stay warm" so Shambo shouldn't "take it personally." Well, she might not have if Probst hadn't called Galu out like that. Stop trying to influence things, Probst. Probst explains the challenge: one man and one woman from each tribe will hold onto a rope connected to a net. Players from opposing tribes will try to throw coconuts into the nets, making them progressively heavier until the person is forced to let go. Once both tribe members have let go, the challenge is lost. Galu sits Dave Ball, Shambo (on the advice of Erik, who looks at Shambo's ridiculously waterlogged hands and says there's no way she can do this), and Brett.
Holding nets for Foa Foa will be Liz and Li'l Russell, while Galu has Russell and Laura holding up their nets. Well, that settles it: Galu is going to win. Laura is awesome. Probst calls go, and Galu takes a quick lead as most of its members get their coconuts in the nets and everyone on Foa Foa misses. John in particular is very good at making coconut baskets. After a brief montage, we've got a lot of coconuts in both Li'l Russell and Liz's nets, some in Russell's, and like two in Laura's. Even Galu's blonde is making baskets. Foa Foa's blondes, however, suck. "Ashley hasn't made a single shot yet!" Probst announces. Li'l Russell starts to struggle to keep his net up. John and Erik take turns filling his net with coconuts until he finally drops it. Which means it's up to Liz to keep Foa Foa in this. And her net is already pretty full. It's even more full than Russell's, and he's struggling, too. "This girl's insane!" Erik marvels at Liz. But soon, it's no use. I think the net became heavier than Liz, because she didn't let it go so much as it carried her over the holding block area. And so, thanks to Foa Foa's inability to shoot coconuts into nets, Galu wins immunity yet again.
Foa Foa return to camp cold, wet, and defeated. Jaison interviews that he's starting to think that things aren't looking good for Foa Foa, since they'll be down to five players after tonight's Tribal Council. Also, he's cold and wet and even their shelter isn't safe from the rain. "I have never in my life been this cold and had my hands this destroyed," he says, holding his hands up to show us that they are, in fact, looking pretty nasty. They're so waterlogged that layers of skin are sloughing off. He says he wants to "get out of here" more than anything. The tribe huddles up in the shelter. Liz hopes there'll be a break in the weather soon, since it's been raining non-stop for two days now. But it doesn't look like it's going to let up anytime soon. The talk turns to how they should approach tonight's vote. It's too wet and cold to leave the shelter and scheme, so they'll just have to do it out in the open or not at all. Li'l Russell asks if anyone wants to volunteer to leave. Jaison? Nope, he stays quiet. Ashley interviews in the rain that they're stuck in the shelter. Except not really, since she is currently out of the shelter to do that interview. Which means everyone else back in the shelter could very easily be plotting against her. I'm just saying.
Back in the shelter, Ashley says they can either just talk about it and agree on who they're voting out tonight before Tribal Council or just go in there and vote blindly. Everyone agrees to vote blindly. "It'll be an interesting Tribal," Ashley says. You'd think that, wouldn't you? Anyway, since we don't have any plotting and scrambling to show, we just show the Foa Foa contestants huddled in their shelter while voiceovers play. Nice job, editors, of still making this thing work while doing something different with the show! Ashley VOs that she's voting for Liz because she doesn't trust her and never has. Liz VOs that she's voting for Ashley because she's the weakest link. Mick VOs that he voting for one of the girls. Natalie VOs that she doesn't know who is voting for who, but she's pretty sure a woman is going home tonight. Jaison VOs that he's going to wait and see what happens at Tribal before he decides who to vote for. And last but most certainly least, Li'l Russell VOs that he won't be able to engineer someone's ouster tonight because of the rain. He wants Liz to go because she doesn't trust him, but Liz is stronger in challenges than Ashley, so he's not sure who to vote for.
The rain seems to have stopped in time for Tribal Council, as the contestants head in and sit down. Probst starts with Jaison, asking him what the toughest thing he did before this show was. Way to assume that being on this show is tougher than anything else Jaison has ever done. What if his mom died? That would be a lot tougher than sitting out in the rain for two days. Jaison says training for the US National Water Polo team was the toughest thing he ever did before this show. Probst smiles longingly as Jaison talks about how his training included wrestling with other guys in a pool for eight hours a day, seven days a week. Jaison says he thought being on this show would be fairly easy because of his training experience. But it isn't. Probst asks Ashley if coming to Tribal was almost a good thing for everyone because they get to sit in front of a warm fire and be sheltered from the rain (even though it appears to have stopped anyway). Ashley says "it sucks" to send someone home, but they do get to sit in front of a fire. Way to re-state Probst's question in the form of an answer, Ashley. Mick says they couldn't do any scrambling before Tribal because of the rain. Probst asks Natalie if it makes her nervous knowing that the majority of the people tonight could decide to send her home because they didn't get together ahead of time and talk about it. Natalie says... absolutely nothing, actually. Um, I think she said this was a different experience because they couldn't scheme before the vote and that's the rain's fault? I'm honestly not sure if she's incoherent or they just over-edited her response.
Probst asks Li'l Russell if it's more important now to vote for someone who is weak at challenges or someone who isn't fun to be around. Li'l Russell says his vote depends on who he can trust, but he trusts everyone here. Probst asks Ashley who she trusts in this tribe. She says she trusts everyone, but especially Natalie and Li'l Russell. Way to lose Mick and Jaison's vote, Ashley. Or, rather, gain it. Probst asks Ashley why she trusts Li'l Russell. How about because she's an idiot and a poor judge of character? But she just says he pulled her under his wing and he's good to talk to. That's because he listens more than he speaks, which is something you might want to learn. Probst asks Liz who she trusts. She claims she trusts everyone, and after everything Foa Foa has gone through in this game so far, she's become much closer to everyone than she ever thought she would. Probst asks if she would be "shocked" to be voted out tonight. She says she'd be surprised, but that's not because of trust - it's because her gut is telling her it won't be her tonight. Probst asks Mick how the tribe will be better after tonight. He says they'll be "more organized" and strong in challenges. So he's planning to vote out someone with poor organization skills? Jaison non-answers that the tribe might be stronger, but it might also be weaker. Probst asks Li'l Russell if the fact that tonight's vote is so unpredictable makes him nervous. He says it's not how this game is supposed to be played, but they're a tight group so he thinks he knows who is leaving tonight. Ashley smiles confidently at this. Nice knowing you, Ashley.
Ashley votes for Liz, citing trust issues. Jaison votes for Ashley. I am looking forward to seeing all kinds of votes here and none of that unanimous bullshit that always seems to happen. Votes for Li'l Russell! Votes for Natalie! Votes for Probst! Who knows what could happen??? Probst returns with the urn. The first vote is for Ashley. Then a vote for Liz. And then the rest are for Ashley. So I guess this wasn't such a blind vote after all. Also, Natalie is freaking cold for voting out her sister like that. Why did she do that? Ashley kindly tells her tribe to "kick some butt" on her way out, probably in such a good mood because she knows she is going somewhere warm and dry.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.