Do The Right Thing

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Foa Foa continues its decline, with Li'l Russell determined to get Ashley voted out and certain that his tribemates will do his bidding. Of course, they lose another reward/immunity challenge (apparently the producers are sick of thinking up challenges this year and have reduced it to one per show) and Galu gets to pick between a reward of comfort items, like pillows and candles, or functional items, like a new snorkel to replace the one Shambo broke last week and a very nice waterproof tarp. Russell picks the pillows to appease the women, and the men are not happy about this. Then he sends Shambo off to Foa Foa, which no one seems to mind. There, she is warm and kind to everyone and they love her. She tells them that her tribe is full of "" people who do yoga, which Liz absolutely cannot stand. Meanwhile, she's perfectly okay with voting Ashley out over Ben, who thinks that black people are "ghetto trash" and women aren't strong enough to start fires. Fortunately, Jaison decides that doing the right thing is worth more than a chance at one million dollars and takes a stand against Ben, telling the tribe that if they don't get rid of him at Tribal Council, then Jaison will quit the game. It's much more effective than Li'l Russell's seed-planting, and Ben is voted out unanimously after being called out about his racism at a very awkward Tribal Council. Also, there are like six women on this show whose names I still don't know.

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It's the morning of Day 7 at Foa Foa. Jaison talks to Mick about getting rid of Ben as we see a shot of Ben walking along the beach in his tank top, little shorts, and cowboy boots. There are pictures of my brother wearing a similar ensemble, except that he wore a diaper instead of shorts. Because he was three years old. I was not aware that adults dressed this way. Mick has to agree, saying that Ben got "personal" and "inappropriate" with Yasmin when he called her "ghetto trash." Way to sugarcoat things, there, Mick. Jaison interviews that Ben almost said something to Yasmin that got the crap beat out of him by Jaison. Why, Jaison? Why would you, specifically, be offended by what Ben said? Can't you just say (or can't the editors just include the footage of you saying it, if it exists) that he's a racist and you're black?

Li'l Russell's hair (what there is of it) is weirdly growing in much darker in the back than on the sides. Also, why are there, like, crop circle patterns in his beard? He asks the long-haired blonde who she wants to get rid of . "Gosh ... " she says. Li'l Russell interviews that no one on his tribe is playing this game except him, and he's looking forward to controlling them all "like zombies." Just because no one is playing the game with you doesn't mean they aren't playing it at all, Li'l Russell. Although, let's be honest, he's right and they aren't.

After the credits, we go back to Foa Foa because, like Probst said in the Previouslys, it's all boring-ass sunshine and lame-o rainbows at Galu. Ben is leading a fire-starting tutorial because, as he says, they're almost out of flint due to it being used excessively by people who don't know what they're doing. So instead of saving the flint by using it as little as possible and also making yourself a valuable tribe member by being the only one who can start a fire, he's going to waste even more flint to teach them how to do it so they won't need him anymore. And then complain about how stupid everyone else is in an interview. Smart, Ben. Also, way to tuck your tank-top into your underwear, you stupid clown. Mick is unable to start the fire, so Ben does it for him. Then he runs right to Liz and Li'l Russell and tells them that the flint is so worn down that the women shouldn't even try to use it because they don't have the necessary hand strength and technique or whatever to do it, so it'll just waste more flint. Liz just nods along and agrees with him, because she started off seeming cool in the first episode but clearly sucks. Li'l Russell says that Ben is obviously scrambling to make himself look necessary so he isn't voted off. Of course, Li'l Russell doesn't think he's doing it the right way. Because burning people's socks is a much better method. Ben tries to make friends with the long-haired blonde by asking her if she pooped yet. She hasn't. But Ben did! "It was like the biggest poop, I think, in my life," he says. Am I seriously recapping this? Are they seriously showing this? And then Ben kills another lizard, this time by shoving a large wooden stick through the poor thing's mouth while it's still alive like a psychopath, while Li'l Russell says that he needs Ben around for a while longer for the challenges and to help around camp, so he'll have to make sure someone else goes .

Finally, we go over to Galu, where Erik, Brett, the blonde and either Monica or the woman who looks just like her are doing yoga. Oh! It is the girl who looks like Monica, and her name is Laura. I think I'll be able to tell her and Monica apart from now on. All the same, I'd like to see one of them be voted out soon to save me the trouble. Laura says that things around camp are good, and everyone is helping out and pitching in. Thus, she says, they can just hang out and not always be in "game mode," which she thinks is a big advantage over the other tribe. Except that, as Li'l Russell pointed out, no one on Foa Foa is in game mode, either. Also, as those of us who actually watch this show (a.k.a. no one in this recruited cast) have seen before, it's the tribe that gets too comfortable that ends up losing in the end. Suddenly, military music starts up, which means that Shambo must be about. Sure enough, she's watching the yoga with a look of pure disgust. "Are you freakin' kidding me?" she interviews. She acknowledges that she's on the outs with her tribe, but blames that on not being in the "clique" and not because, you know, she broke all their fishing gear and is generally unpleasant. Shambo is a moron. Also, how is Laura part of a "clique?" She's 39. And a grandmother. I guess she's the Gabrielle Carteris. Shampoo says that she's being the "Rambo Shambo provider" while the rest of the tribe sits around and does nothing. Meanwhile, she hasn't provided them with any of the fish she promised and she broke their snorkel, making it that much more difficult for anyone else to provide fish, either. Shamwow smacks a log against a tree for some reason.

Thanks for those two minutes, Galu. Back to Foa Foa! Li'l Russell gets right to work and tells Ben that Ashley wanted Ben gone last night, and she's a threat that needs to be removed. He wants to blindside Ashley and interviews that he planted a seed in Ben's head that will grow into a tree of Ashley being voted out. "It's called a Russell seed," he titles. That just sounds gross. And is he really suggesting that his technique of turning one tribe member against another one is all that new and special? Because it's been done on this show many times before. And done better.

Ben, his mind completely taken over by Li'l Russell, goes to Ashley and accuses her of stabbing him in the back at Tribal Council. He says he knows she's been talking about getting rid of him because someone told him so. Ashley asks who. "It wasn't Russell," Ben says. But he won't say who it was. Even though he already did, pretty much. Ashley walks away, since Ben is not worth her time or energy. I have a feeling that happens to him a lot. Li'l Russell interviews for the 1,000th time that he has everyone wrapped around his little finger and that he is totally awesome for it. Meanwhile, Ashley goes to the other blonde and tells her that Ben said that everyone told him that Ashley tried to engineer his ouster. The blonde says that's not true and she didn't say anything to Ben. "I know," Ashley says. The blonde says Ben irritates her. Ashley interviews that she is very confused now and doesn't feel safe because someone is obviously plotting against her and she doesn't know who.

Happy music plays! Dolphins swim! We must be going over to Camp Galu. Erik and the blonde arrive at camp with treemail announcing today's reward challenge. It has the word "damn" in it! Spicy! The treemail came with bathing suits, which Monica is beyond happy about. Shambo is, too, I think. "Rock and roll man, I got my jogging bra on," she says. The music stops for a second so we can all be horrified by the thought of an older woman in her jogging bra. It shouldn't surprise you to know that the editors of this show are all men. Monica, Laura and the blonde do Charlie's Angels poses to show us their complete lack of creativity.

Reward challenge! Probst calls the tribes in and reveals that not only was Betsy voted out last night, but Jeffrey Tambor also had to leave. I would think that Yasmin told them that part already, so they don't seem surprised. Actually, why haven't we seen what Yasmin told her tribe when she returned from Foa Foa's tribal council? I'd like to know how she felt about what Ben said to her and what she chose to reveal to her tribe. But I guess that would mean giving more camera time to Galu and less to Li'l Russell, which is unacceptable. Probst takes back the immunity idol because this is yet another reward/immunity combo challenge. Ugh! I hate those. He explains: two members of each tribe will run through the water and into a "battle zone" where they will wrestle a defender from the other tribe trying to stop them. Once through that, the two swim out to retrieve a crate with different colors on its sides and bring it back so the team of two can go and do the same. Once they've got all four crates, they have to stack them vertically so that each crate shows a different color in each row. Winner gets immunity and comfort items. And this is the stupidest thing of all: only six people from each tribe can participate, so both tribes have to sit people out. What is the point of a challenge that every teammate can't participate in? Just save it for later on in the game when the tribes have less people on them. It's that simple. Foa Foa sits out Li'l Russell while Galu sits out Shambo, Yasmin, Erik, and Brett.

For the first round, it's Liz and the long-haired blonde against Monica and Laura. Okay, those two are fucking identical. When standing to each other, I have no idea who is who. Whose bright idea was it to put them on the same tribe? Why not put both Russells on the same tribe, too? And the blondes are going to serve as the battle zone defenders, so now everyone looks the same. This is ridiculous. Probst calls go, and the women race to the battle zones for hot girl-on-girl action. The defenders do a good job trying to hold the women back and boobs fly out of their bikini top holders. Galu gets out of the battle zone first, so Ashley goes to help Liz and the other Foa Foa blonde get free from their defender, the Galu blonde. Galu gets the crate back first, and Dave Ball and John set out against Ben. Um, didn't they give them bathing suits? Why are they still wearing little bikini underwear? Anyway, since Ben is not allowed to trip anyone, both Galu guys get past him easily. Let's cut to a shot of Li'l Russell wondering just how useful in challenges Ben really is. Mick and Jaison set out against Russell, who takes Mick down. Ben tries to help, as does Jaison. Except that Jaison is actually doing something while Ben just hugs Russell.

Dave Ball and John return with the second crate and the wonder twins set out again. One of them tries to juke around Ashley, but that's kind of impossible in water and Ashley takes her down. The other twin helps to free her, only to get caught by Ashley herself. She cleverly and hilariously splashes water in Ashley's face and gets away. Meanwhile, Mick and Jaison finally get back with their crate, so Liz and the blonde square off against the other blonde. The blondes wrestle with each other and Probst somehow knows who is who. This is how you win the Best Reality Host Emmy, people. They get past the battle zone, and it looks like they somehow managed to make up some ground on Galu. Nevertheless, Galu gets the crate back first and as Dave Ball and John run out to get the last one, Russell surprises Ben by wrestling with him, allowing John and Dave Ball to pass him easily. Very smart, Russell. Yasmin is fucking delighted with this, by the way. The Foa Foa women finally return with their crate. As Mick and Jaison head out, Ben copies Russell's move and takes him down so they can get by. They get to their last crate as John and Dave Ball rather slowly make their way back.

Galu gets all of their crates back first, but Foa Foa isn't very far behind. Foa Foa quickly thinks they've got a solution, but it's wrong because everything Foa Foa does is wrong. Everything. Galu soon announces that they have a solution. Probst checks it out and, as Foa Foa look on in agony, he pronounces Galu the winner. Shambo gets three more days! Probst gives Galu immunity again and says that Russell now must make a choice: either he can take the comfort reward or trade it in for some essential camp items, like another snorkel for Shambo to destroy. "Comfort or function?" Probst asks. Russell picks comfort, even though it came with trivial scented candles and the function choice had a nice waterproof tarp. I guess he realized that there's no point in taking functional items back to camp with Shambo around, and it's not like they're losing an immunity challenge anytime soon to be able to vote her out. The women seem thrilled with Russell's choice, while Erik and Dave Ball are not. Yasmin says that they have plenty of function and food and they need comfort. Russell says that he personally would have gone for function but he knows his group wanted comfort. And yet, he doesn't look too sure of his decision as he says this. He interviews that he knew the women wanted comfort and it was more important to him to keep them happy than the men. Dave Ball interviews that "Danger Dave" would have picked function with no reservations. Okay, but who is Danger Dave? Is that one of the blondes? Oh, I'm sorry -- that's what he calls himself. Clown. Like I said, I know Dave Ball personally and no one calls him "Danger Dave." Nor did he ever ask us to. Probst says Russell has another decision to make: who will go to Foa Foa? Russell picks Shambo. I think he should have sent Yasmin, just to torture poor Foa Foa with her obnoxiousness. But Shamwow isn't going to be any fun for them either, let's be real. And now Galu can do yoga without judgment. Probst dismisses the tribes, and Ben interviews that Ashley will pay for stabbing him in the back by being voted out. We'll see.

Foa Foa returns to camp and Shambo introduces herself to everyone. She calls herself "Shannon," so I'm really not sure if "Shambo" is her thing or the producers'. Or why she gets to be "Shambo," but Dave Ball can't be "Danger Dave." Shambo tells Mick that her tribe calls him "McDreamy." That makes sense. He's probably heard it before, though. Shambo gives Liz a big hug, calling her "one tough beast-like competitor." Mick interviews the obvious: Shambo was very different than Yasmin, and much more pleasant. "We'd like to adopt her," Mick says. Shambo says that she sees this visit to Foa Foa as a great opportunity to improve her interpersonal relationships with other people in the game. Such a good (if obvious) idea. What the hell was Yasmin thinking? Shambo calls Ben "beefcake." I do not understand how she can be so personable at Foa Foa and so unpleasant at Galu. It does not make sense. Shambo says that the people on this tribe are closer to her own age, so she gets along better with them. Well, they were closer to her age before they were either voted or medevac'ed out. Now I'm pretty sure they're younger, on average, than Galu. Shambo complains about her tribe to Foa Foa and how they're all lazy kids who do yoga instead of their chores. "YOGA?!" Liz exclaims with a frown. Liz HATES yoga, you guys! Yoga killed her mom. Mick interviews that he knows that Shambo has her own motives for saying what she's saying to them about her tribe, so he can't trust what she says. Even though she appears to be telling the truth as far as I can tell and her only motive right now is to vent. Which isn't very smart. "You guys appreciate me for the woman that I am," Shambo says. Whatever that means. Meanwhile, just in case you forgot he existed, since he hasn't been on camera since, like, one minute ago, Li'l Russell glares from afar.

Sometime later, Shambo takes out the scroll and reads the clues to the idol. By the second clue, it's pretty damn obvious that the idol is in a tree to the firepit. How would the clue writers know that that's where Foa Foa put their firepit in advance, though? Could it be that the tribes are told where to set up camp by the producers? Hmmm! Also, I did not need this particular camera angle of Shambo's crotch. Li'l Russell reminds us that he already has the idol because he is brilliant and in control of everything.

Back at Galu, Russell gathers everyone together to announce that he wanted to take the functional stuff, but chose comfort because he's "the type of man that believes that you're supposed to take care of your women." The blonde makes a "Say what?" face. Excellent, blonde. Keep that up and I'll refer to you by whatever your name is. Meanwhile, the wonder twins are eating this up with a spoon and offer to fix up the beds for everyone. Gross. John interviews that he's still sore about Russell's choice, since it's not like the comfort items where all that comfortable anyway -- just pillows, beach towels and some palm frond mats. Seriously, where the hell is the hammock? There's always a hammock! Erik interviews that the tarp Russell gave up in the functional item bin was essential to protect them from rain and would ultimately have kept them much more comfortable than pillows. Oh! I see the blonde in a hammock, so they gave them one of those after all. The wonder twins enjoy their comfort items and stroke each other. What's that about? Anyway, way to set Russell up to fail there, producers. Isn't this show unfair enough without this?

It is STILL Day 7, and we're back at Foa Foa. Jaison, who doesn't appear to have moved from his bed in the shelter in days, tells the blondes that if Ben isn't voted out tonight then he'll quit the game. He interviews that he doesn't really intend to quit, but he hopes that if people think that then they'll vote Ben out to keep him in the game. FINALLY, he says that Ben's comments were racist and he will not tolerate being on a tribe with someone who says things like that. Even though he did tolerate it for long enough to vote Betsy out. Ashley isn't convinced that Ben's ultimatum will be enough, and promises to leave the other blonde her shoes and sweater if she's voted out. That's only going to motivate the blonde to get rid of you, Ashley. Who doesn't want extra shoes and a sweater? Jaison tells Ashley not to worry -- "I am trying to lead a crusade right now." It's the chillest and most easy-going crusade I've ever seen, but a crusade nonetheless!

Meanwhile, Li'l Russell has his own crusade to lead. He tells Mick and Liz that Ashley should go . All Mick wants to know is if that opinion has the majority of the vote. Li'l Russell says it does -- him, Mick, Liz and Ben will all vote Ashley. So actually it only has Li'l Russell and Ben's votes. But Mick just says "all right" without apparently realizing that he doesn't have to vote the way Li'l Russell tells him to. Mick then shows some backbone after all when he interviews that while Li'l Russell and Liz are "adamant" about getting rid of Ashley , he's loyal to Jaison, and Jaison wants to get rid of Ben. "You and me need to talk some," he says to Li'l Russell while Liz just stands there being totally useless.

And so, they talk. Li'l Russell says he likes Jaison, but "his mind's gettin' messed up." Really? A black man wanting to get rid of a racist in his tribe and being willing to speak out and risk his chance at a million dollars to do it has a "messed up" mind? Because I would have thought it was the opposite. "He really lets this stuff get to him," Mick says. Are those two for real? They really can't see why Jaison would have a serious problem with Ben? Idiots. But THANK YOU producers for giving Li'l Russell a bathing suit so we don't have to look at his saggy drawers anymore. Even if he does appear to be wearing JT's shorts from last season. Li'l Russell tells Mick that if he can promise that he won't vote for him, he'd be willing to "let Ben go ." And by "," he means after Ashley. So that probably won't fly with Jaison. Li'l Russell interviews that he wanted Mick to trust him, so he showed him that he had the stupid immunity idol in order to gain it. He says this will give him another vote against Ashley instead of Ben and thus he is amazing at this game and it's what "God made me for." Why wouldn't God make someone to cure cancer first? So unfair.

It took three quarters of the show to get there, but it's a new day at Foa Foa. Shambo teaches the blondes how to make something called a "poofy torch" out of a palm frond. They do not seem very interested in it, but Shambo interviews that she's being really helpful and imparting her wisdom to an appreciative Foa Foa audience. After that, she makes an attempt to find the immunity idol. She starts digging around the large tree where the idol did, in fact, used to be, telling the rest of the tribe that she's just getting firewood. Even though there is nothing resembling firewood there. But it's better than Li'l Russell's excuse for why he was digging in that tree, which was "I'm looking for the hidden immunity idol." The blondes talk about how great Shambo is while Liz yet again states her hatred of yoga. Li'l Russell walks by and scowls at the fact that the three women seem to be getting along, which he thinks will soon lead to them banding together to vote out the men. You know, kind of like how the guys (and, because she's an idiot, Liz) banded together to get rid of the girls. Meanwhile, Shambo's firewood excuse has got to be wearing pretty thin now that she's basically inside the tree with just her legs hanging out.

The menfolk, sans Ben, go off to talk. Li'l Russell tries to convince them that Ashley should go before Ben, saying they need Ben for challenges. Jaison shuts that right down, asking Li'l Russell to come up with just one thing Ben has done in a challenge that was useful to the tribe. Li'l Russell's brilliant, God-given mind can't come up with anything. Ha! Mick tries to argue that with Ben gone, it'll be three men against three women, and the women could band together to form their own alliance. Um, has Mick seen Liz? No way is she going to team up with the blondes when a man can tell her what to do. She's been more supportive of voting other Foa Foa women off than anyone else. Jaison calmly says that if Li'l Russell's only concern is that the women could team up against them when it would be three against three, he shouldn't worry about it. "Those girls are so weak that it would be suicide if they tried to pick us off," Jaison says in the only language Mick and Li'l Russell seem to understand. Li'l Russell again tries to promise that they'll get rid of Ben after Ashley, but Jaison isn't buying it. "This is ridiculous," he says, adding that he's going to speak out against Ben at Tribal Council tonight no matter what, and if they don't vote Ben out after that, then there will be serious problems at camp afterwards with both Jaison and Ben there. He asks if Ben is really worth saving at that cost. Li'l Russell interviews that everyone else seems to think that Ben is poison, and if he disagrees with them then he'll lose their trust. But I thought Li'l Russell was planting seeds and controlling everyone like a zombie? And no one else was playing the game at all? Could it be that Li'l Russell is full of shit?

Tribal Council! Foa Foa arrives and Shambo takes her seat in the observer section, where she'll sit with her mouth hanging open for the rest of the episode. Probst asks Jaison what Shambo was like at Foa Foa, giving him the opportunity to dive in immediately, saying she was great and he'd like to keep her and send Ben to Galu. We cut to Ashley, grinning away that Jaison is making good on his promise and she might just be safe tonight after all. Probst turns to Ben but does not address Jaison's comments, just asks him who he's planning to vote for tonight and why. Ben says Ashley because "she's the weakest link." Except that he's actually voting for her because 1. Li'l Russell told him to; 2. he thinks she stabbed him in the back or whatever; and 3. he hates women. Probst asks Ashley why it would "make sense" for Foa Foa to vote her out. What does he think she's going to say to that? Come on. Of course, she defends herself, saying she isn't the weakest person there, nor is she a negative force unlike some people Benbenben. Ben immediately gets defensive, saying that he doesn't "approach people with negativity" but he will react to them with it if they approach him with negativity. Meanwhile, he had nothing to say to Jaison when he said that Ben was negative. Ben likes to pick and choose his battles. And the ones he picks always seem to be against women. So Jaison has to speak up again and say that Ben is the one who yells at everyone in camp "constantly about everything." Ben asks for examples, which Jaison is happy to provide: Ashley, Marisa, and "one of our guests." All women. Also "anybody who asks you a question or tries to do something on their own, you constantly correct them and tell them they're doing it wrong." Guys, I'm going to have to try really hard not to just transcribe everything Jaison says word-for-word because it was just that awesome. He spent two days and all of his law school education thinking about and planning how this Tribal Council was going to go down and how he was going to dismantle Ben piece by piece and expose him as a racist, coward, bully and fool to millions of viewers.

Ben turns to the other blonde, who has the supreme misfortune of being seated in between Ben and Jaison, and asks her if what Jaison is saying about him is true. The blonde is her usual silent self on the matter, and Jaison says "amazing how you always try to go to someone that you think is weak. That's what bullies do. You yell at every single girl." Ben responds like a real adult here, imitating Jaison's whining after they lose challenges. But Jaison comes back with an even better imitation of Ben's performance in yesterday's challenge: "Oh my god, I'm an outlaw, I'm a renegade, but they splashed me in the face. I can't tackle anyone now! Sorry, I got splashed!" So awesome! Except that they keep cutting over to Li'l Russell for his reaction to this. Who gives a shit? Li'l Russell is not involved. And if you're going to show anyone's reaction, it needs to be Ashley, who has the biggest grin on her face.

Probst asks the blonde how it feels to be stuck in between Ben and Jaison right now. She says she's just leaning back so as not to be inadvertently punched if the guys start physically fighting. Whatever, she is useless. Probst turns to Li'l Russell instead, asking him to "explain" why Ben and Jaison are at such odds tonight. Why not ask the group leader, Mick, Probst? I mean, since that role is supposed to be so important and all. You could at least try to hide the fact that you're in love with Li'l Russell and think he's going to save your show. To his credit, Li'l Russell is always very diplomatic and low-key when he isn't in an interview, and just says that Jaison is reacting to some "negative" things that Ben said that "might have been a little racial." Jaison objects to Li'l Russell saying "might," because they definitely were.

Probst totally ignores this because it's sensitive and unpleasant, instead telling Jaison that Foa Foa still has a chance in this game despite being down four members after tonight's vote. "Is there any way you could heal this wound?" he asks. Um, why is it on Jaison to do anything? Isn't Ben the one with a lot of work to do? But I guess Probst realizes that Jaison is the only person capable of doing anything to make things better here, since Ben is stupid and unable to use reason or common sense. Jaison says no: "There is no one million dollars that is worth me sitting up here with him anymore." And when we cut to Li'l Russell's reaction to this, we can see Liz hanging out in the corner of the screen doing nothing. Fucking idiot. Does she really think that Ben's racism is limited only to black people and she'll be just fine because she's Asian? Or that his hatred of women is limited only to the blondes and she'll be just fine because she's Li'l Russell's lackey? Honestly, I don't understand why any of these people aren't speaking up with Jaison. Aside from the fact that it's the right thing to do, how about for appearance's sake? Do you really want to be the contestant on a reality show who let a hateful racist stay in the game and didn't say anything about it because you were afraid you'd lose your chance at a million dollars? Because that makes you an asshole, too.

Jaison continues that Ben screamed at Yasmin, and he heard him say "incredible things." The smile disappears from Ashley's face because I guess she has the decency to look not okay with Ben's behavior, even though secretly she's thrilled about it because it bought her at least three more days on the show. Probst asks Ben for a rebuttal. Ben says that this is the way he is and has been since Day 1 and he hasn't started one fight. Jaison interrupts to say he's talking more about the "ghetto trash" comment than Ben's fighting with everyone. Ben doesn't understand what the problem is, since Yasmin told them she was from the ghetto and he believes that she is trash, therefore she is ghetto trash. Liz cringes just like she did last week when she thought about how shitty she's going to look being in an alliance with and fighting to keep this asshole on the show over someone -- anyone -- else. Jaison takes a different approach, asking Ben if, as the proud Southern gentleman he claims to be, if he should really be talking to a woman like that. "She's not a lady," Ben responds; "ladies have manners." Ben pokes the blonde with some force as he points to her as an example of a nice Southern lady with manners because she says "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" and "please" and "thank you." The blonde is just like "keep me the fuck out of this." Also, does Ben really think he's going to prove that he isn't a racist by pointing out how much better the blonde Southern white woman is than the black woman, who he is now calling a bitch? With that, Ben accuses Jaison of playing the race card while the rest of the tribe just looks uncomfortable. Jaison stays calm and tells Ben to "have some sensitivity to history" and how, in that context, "certain comments" made to "certain people" are because of race. Even Li'l Russell can see that, and he sucks. Jaison says that if Ben truly thinks that calling Yasmin "ghetto trash" is not a racist comment, then he's just as ignorant as Yasmin said. All Ben can do is shake his head, because he is completely outmatched here.

Probst asks Ashley if she's enjoying all of this, because if the attention is on someone else then it's not on her. Ashley says that while Ben and Jaison's fight could be good news for her, she packed her bags tonight and knows she may well be going home. Why even bother talking to her, Probst? Why not ask Ben if he's ever called a white woman "ghetto trash?" Or said she ate ketchup sandwiches and drank Kool-Aid? Because I'll bet the answer is no. Instead, Probst just asks Ben if he wants to apologize to Jaison. Of course, he doesn't. So Probst dismisses Shambo, who looks plenty happy to be out of that poisonous environment and will hopefully gain a greater appreciation for her tribe and the lack of irredeemable assholes on it, and says it's time to vote.

Ashley votes for Ben and tells him to "grow up." Ben votes for Ashley, saying, "You knew it was coming." Probst reads off the votes: one for Ashley. And the rest are for Ben. GOOD. Get off the show and go away forever. "Thank God," Ashley mutters. Thank Jaison, actually. He's looking pretty happy about everything, as well he should. Probst snuffs Ben's torch and a weird sound effect plays. Maybe it's the sound of the casting people finally learning their lesson about recruiting assholes they meet in bars? Anyway, I just feel bad for Marisa and Betsy now, because they have to be subjected to this guy in the Loser's Lodge.

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You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.