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Jalapeño continues its reign of awesomeness this week, as they catch fish and work as a team to win both the reward and the immunity challenges. For the reward challenge, all team members are blindfolded except one, who calls out directions to guide them to fill buckets with water and corn. You’d think this would be the perfect job for Douche, but apparently not, since he leaves it to Debbie. Jalapeño wins pillows, blankets, and a waterproof tarp that comes in very handy when it rains that night. They send Brendan back to Exile, and he picks Taj again. There, they get another clue to the idol location and hatch a plot to have an ally sent to Exile time, giving them a four-person alliance no one could possibly suspect. Could be awesome if it works. Then there’s the immunity challenge, which involves rolling giant blocks and then putting them together in a staircase that spells out their team name on the side. Tempura actually gets a good lead going, but when they decide to ignore Erinn’s wise advice about where to place a block, they fall behind, and Jalapeño wins again. Back at camp, Douche rallies hard for Erinn to go, but Jerry’s basically decided that this is too hard for him and would rather sick out of the show than have to quit. So he stops eating, claiming that he has a stomachache. Meanwhile, the second clue proves to be enough for Brendan, as he finds the immunity idol hidden in the treemail post. At Tribal Council, Jerry hilariously names Brendan as the person who should lead the tribe, much to Douche’s shock and horror since he’s the awesome leader everyone should bow down and respect because he can order people around with his eyes. Instead, Erinn laughs at him and Probst makes fun of him. Ha ha ha! Then they unanimously vote out Jerry.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The Tempura morons return to camp after voting Capable Candace out at Douche's behest. Erinn starts up immediately with the damage control, saying that she wasn't really aligned with Candace or anything like that. She also claims that she had no idea everyone else was voting for Candace when she herself voted for her. I doubt it. I think Erinn saw the writing on the wall and figured she'd better join the majority while she still had a chance. Unfortunately for her, it looks like she was still too late. Sierra tells us that Erinn is "panicking," looking very confident for someone who was almost voted out herself. Debbie says that Erinn and Candace seemed pretty close, to which Erinn explains that she wasn't "sure" about Candace and wanted to try to get to know her before deciding to vote her out. And when she did get to know Candace, she realized she couldn't trust her. Douche weighs in, saying that Erinn aligned herself with the wrong person and is now trying to get out of it by "completely insulting" everyone on Tempura's intelligence. Honestly, I don't think that's possible. You could probably insult a retarded rock's intelligence before anyone on Tempura's. Debbie says "that's all over with," as if they just voted out the person who was bringing the tribe down when we all know he and his glorious ponytail are still right there, pulling all the wrong strings. Douche says that Erinn will never be in his alliance and she will therefore suffer forevermore.
The morning, Jerry wakes up with a cough. Erinn sits alone, clearly on the outs with her tribe despite her efforts last night. She interviews that for some reason, spending all her time with Candace associated her with her "more than I would've liked." Okay, now my intelligence is being insulted. Is she trying to fool us or herself? She says her plan now is to be popular and help the team win challenges. She thinks it's important to show that she's stronger than Sierra and Debbie, because that worked so well for Candace. "Now I feel like I'm kinda fighting for my life a little bit," she says, sort of rather perhaps maybe insulting her own intelligence just a tad.
Beans boil sans rice now that Evil Candace and her Evil One Pot Wonder plans are gone. That's bad news for Jerry, who only wants to eat rice today. Since all they have prepared is beans, he's skipping breakfast. Debbie notes that Jerry skipped dinner, too, and someone asks Jerry if he doesn't like beans. He says they aren't good for his stomach, which is "screwed up." While everyone else eats beans, Jerry says that he's not sure if it's the beans that are doing it, but something is making his stomach hurt "real bad." Someone felt sorry enough for him to eventually cook him some rice, and we see him eating that. Debbie takes every opportunity to announce to all that Jerry's not eating very much and doesn't look well, which I'm sure he really appreciates. Jerry tells us that he's had experiences like this in his army life before, and hates showing weakness. So he goes out to collect firewood while crying on the inside. He says he's trying to fight through the pain and hopes he'll be better tomorrow. Jerry then lies down in the shelter, and Erinn cheerfully asks him how he's feeling. "Mama said there'd be days like this," Jerry titles.
Ugh, that is so depressing! Let's go where the sun always shines, the birds always sing, and the people are never sick -- Camp Jalapeño! Everyone is trying to use the giant fishing net to catch fish with little success. Stephen interviews that when they won the fishing gear, they thought they'd be catching fish after fish after fish. Instead, as we see, they've only managed to get two puny little minnows. They don't know how to use the gear, and think that slowly tossing the net onto the fish will work. It doesn't. Stephen says that J.T. has decided that the giant net is a throw net, even though it's clearly way too big for that and he's now wearing it on his head. J.T. interviews that Toucancheers water is different than Alabama water, but he'll figure this out. Sure enough, after they manage to throw a net over a few minnow to use as live bait, he uses a pole to catch a real fish. Triumphant music plays as the fish come rolling in. Even Stephen catches one -- his first ever! They all dine on fish and love it, with Taj saying that it tastes seasoned without any seasoning at all. That's what happens when your taste buds have been deprived for so long. Joe, whoever he is, says that the fish tasted like victory, and the Jalapeño tribe is now a force to be reckoned with.
Let's see if he's right. Time for the reward challenge! The tribes enter, and we only see Taj's non-reaction when Probst says that Candace was voted out last night. For today's challenge, six team members will be blindfolded and tied to a partner. The remaining team member will be responsible for calling out orders to lead them to a bucket and through maze to a water tower. They will fill their buckets with water and make their way back to the start, where they will pour the water into a large tub. Once the tub is full, a flag will raise. Teams must then fill their buckets with corn from a corn tower and race back to the start to fill up another tub until that flag raises. I'm not sure why they're using corn and water, since the winning tribe doesn't get to keep it like they did in last season's fruit-bashing game. Instead, the winning tribe to raise both of their flags gets a waterproof tarp and all sorts of comfort items, including chairs, a hammock, blankets and pillows. They will also send a member of the losing tribe to Exile, who will then chose someone from the winning tribe to accompany him.
Calling directions for Jalapeño will be Joe, while Debbie will be doing the honors for Tempura. Wait -- what? Why Debbie? Isn't this the perfect job for someone whose sole purpose in life is ordering people around, be it on the soccer field or in the orchestra pit (or whatever room in the Community Center serves as such)? You know, someone who can't stop telling us about his vast experience and incredible skill at yelling loud orders across long distances to several people at once in a competitive atmosphere, and who is so sure of his abilities that he actually makes people call him Coach??? How could he NOT be doing this? How could he have possibly convinced his team that freaking Debbie was a better choice than him? Anyway, Probst starts the challenge and the teams set about trying to find their buckets. Team J.T./Sydney get their bucket first. Debbie manages to lead Team Erinn/Sierra to their bucket soon after. Then the rest of Jalapeño get their buckets in quick succession and head for the water tower. Meanwhile, Tyson and Douche are still fumbling around for their bucket, and I see that Douche isn't even the leader of their two-man team. Team Spencer/Stephen fill their bucket first. Erinn/Sierra get to the tower first for Tempura, as if this will help either of their cases when it comes time to vote one of them out at the Tribal Council. They could win this challenge single-handedly and Douche will still insist that they are the weakest and least useful members of the tribe. Meanwhile, Brendan and Jerry are totally lost and bucket-less. Taj/Sandy pass them on their way back to the start. Jerry calls out for help, but when Debbie yells at them to go left, they don't. Instead, they wander off behind Jalapeño's water tower, much to Probst's delight.
Stephen/Spencer pour their bucket into the correct tub. Taj/Sandy soon follow. Brendan/Jerry have somehow managed to find their bucket. They meet the rest of Tempura at the water tower, where they've decided to wait until all the teams get there and fill their buckets before heading back as a complete team. This should makes things easier for Debbie, who shouts orders like "come on, Tyson! WAAAAAALK!" Meanwhile, J.T./Sydney get their bucket in. Probst decides that the Tempura strategy is a good one and must be broadcast to Jalapeño so that they may copy it and win, so he yells that they've made "one long Tempura trail!" Guess what happens ? That's right -- Jalapeño decides to make a chain as well. Way to ruin the game, Probst. The Tempura trail makes it back to the tub and starts dumping, but by this time Spencer/Stephen have come back with a second bucket, and it's enough to raise their flag. Unfortunately for Tempura, their three buckets are not enough to raise their flag, so they'll all have to go back for one more while Jalapeño is already gathering corn. I guess that group chain wasn't such a hot idea after all.
J.T./Sydney get a face full of corn as they try to fill their bucket. The rest of the tribe meets them and fill up their buckets. Meanwhile, Brendan complains that he can't hear Debbie. All Jalapeños, buckets full of corn, start coming back. Debbie gives up. Sierra screams at her, asking if they need to fill all of their buckets with water. Debbie has no idea. "Tempura really blowing this challenge!" Probst says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. Taj/Sandy is the last Jalapeño team to get their corn in, and it's enough to raise the second flag. Tempura didn't even raise one. Jalapeño celebrate with hugs and high-fives. It's too much for Douche, who cries out in rage and frustration. He wants attention, dammit! And pillows! Even his animal grunts are louder than Debbie, as the entire Jalapeño team turn around and stare at him. Tell me again why he wasn't the team caller for Tempura?
The teams line back up at the mat. Probst asks Jalapeño who they're sending to Exile. Taj puts on a convincing wince and says Brendan. And who will he be taking with him? Taj, of course. Probst decides to make much of this, asking Spencer if he's concerned that something might be up with those two. Um, something is up, Probst, and it could be really awesome and please stop trying to ruin it! Why are you sabotaging your own show? I hope they give Phil the Emmy year. Spencer just says both tribes seem to be using the same strategy and he's not surprised. Brendan and Taj leave. A Taj-less Jalapeño is stuck carrying their many reward items back to camp. I wonder if Carolina is banging her head against her TV set right now, watching her tribe win a reward of chairs, the very things that got her ass voted out first. Douche's Seagaltail has fallen apart in defeat. In his post-challenge wrap-up interview, he says Tempura needs to turn things around for several reasons, one of them being "the anger that I'm feeling." Yes, they have to do it for you, Douche. "Winners find a way to win. Losers find a way to lose," he says.
The losers find a way back to camp amongst shots of various snakes and spiders. Douche's Seagaltail is back in full effect and now has two braids, so it's looking extra silly. Hairdresser Erinn must hate that thing when she isn't laughing at it. Anyway, Douche is still sore about Tempura's humiliating defeat. He tells us that his post-challenge scream was really a "primal yell" because he just couldn't keep his rage inside. Debbie feels bad about her performance and says so, causing Douche to primally roll his eyes. Debbie says she was screaming as loud as she could, but no one could hear her. Before everyone can figure out that Douche should have been the one doing the calling, he says they shouldn't point fingers or blame others for the loss. I like how his example of that is "Erinn really screwed up today," as if anyone except him would be saying that. He says the worst thing they can do right now is talk behind each other's backs about who did what wrong in the challenge.
Cut to Tyson and Douche hanging out by the waterfront. Now that they're behind everyone's back, all Douche needs is a gentle prod from Tyson and he's off pointing fingers and blaming everyone for the loss except himself. He says Sierra "panicked" during the challenge and started screaming. She did scream, but it was to ask Debbie if they all had to fill their buckets. It was more of a "request for information" than it was a "panic." Douche doesn't know who's worse -- Erinn or Sierra. Is he watching a different show than I am or something? Because it looked to me like Debbie was probably the worst performer in that challenge, along with Douche himself who should have volunteered to be the caller but didn't because he was afraid it could make him look bad. Douche says he wants Erinn out ASAP. Tyson interviews that Douche is a true coach: "he's not always the best at what he's coaching but he thinks he knows the most." Tyson nods along as Douche talks and talks and talks about their alliance's brilliant move to vote Erinn out. And then ... and THEN! Douche appoints Tyson his "assistant coach." Does Douche think Tyson will be flattered by that? Does he think that people don't want to be equals and that we all bow down to the superiority of Douche and are just thrilled to be in his presence? That might be true of Stephen, but certainly not Tyson, who laughs about his new Assistant Douche title in an interview. Douche makes sure that Tyson sees things exactly like he does (or at least, Tyson says he does) and they wander back to camp. Tyson interviews that everyone knows that Douche has a "schoolboy crush" on him and he's hoping a promotion to co-Douche is in his future. And if Tyson and Douche wind up on separate tribes, then Tyson will demand that his new team call him Douche as well. The best thing about all of this is that you know that Douche has absolutely no idea that Tyson secretly thinks he's a talentless buffoon, and probably still doesn't even as he's watching the evidence on his TV screen.
Over at Camp Jalapeño, they're still celebrating their victory. Joe interviews that they won and work well together. Thanks for contributing, Joe. time you go on a reality show, please have something interesting to say. Sandy brings up Douche's primal yell, and says he was pissed. Then she quotes her own "I'm PISSED!" from day one. Sandy can laugh at herself, so she is awesome. Joe interviews again that they're hoping to win the challenge, because that will kill whatever morale Tempura has left. Exxxxcellent. And then it rains, which is no problem at Camp Jalapeño because they have that waterproof tarp.
Tempura does not have a tarp. Everyone's stuck under the shelter, and Erinn laughs that not only did Jalapeño win the blankets, but they sent her "blanket" -- Brendan -- to Exile. Douche stands in the rain and scowls, then interviews that Jalapeño probably needs the comfort items more than Tempura does, because they're "dirtier." Does he mean they have more dirt on them or that they play dirty or that they use foul language? Although no matter what Douche meant by "dirty," it still doesn't make sense. Anyway, that wasn't dramatic enough for Douche, so he adds that he doesn't need comfort or even shelter. In fact, he'd bury himself in the sand and be bitten by snakes and tarantulas. IS THIS AN OPTION? Because there's a nice Douche-sized crater on the Tempura beach already, courtesy of Sierra and Brendan, so step one has already been accomplished. Douche says all he cares about now is winning this game. You know what kind of person says he doesn't care about pillows and blankets? The kind of person who is so sad not to have any.
Somehow, the rain did not make it to Exile Dune. I prefer to think this is because God so hated the Douche, that he stuck a rain cloud directly over his camp. Taj and Brendan choose their urns, and this time, Taj gets the note. This one comes with a second clue that says the idol is "surrounded by wood." Taj runs back and shows it to Brendan. She interviews that they're working together now to get themselves an idol each. Brendan interviews that he's going to look for the idol as soon as he returns to camp. This must not have happened, though, because a quick look at Google Earth does not reveal a crater the size of Connecticut in the Toocutease region. He says he's thinking of looking near the shelter or the treemail area. That night, they talk about what to do time someone has to go to Exile. Now that Probst called them out, they can't go back a third time. So they'll have to figure out who should be sent from the tribes . Taj apparently has a bond with Stephen, and says she'll talk to him and make sure he's "prepped." Brendan will do the same with Sierra. Taj asks if he's sure he can trust Sierra, and Brendan says he is. I'm just not sure if Taj can trust Stephen. Taj says that if the four of them make it to the merge, they'll have a four-person alliance that no one else knows about. Which is awesome. Brendan tells Taj she's the "best accomplice ever," and Taj laughs evilly as lightning flashes. I like where this is going.
The morning at Jalapeño, everyone got a great night's sleep. Spencer says the best part was knowing that they were warm and dry, while everyone at Tempura was wet and sad. Stephen interviews the same thing. Sandy has woken up on the inappropriate side of the bed, as she mutters "I know I'm a sex kitten. There's no doubt in my mind." Various men wince and groan, which is kind of insulting to Sandy.
Immunity Challenge time! The tribes arrive and Taj and Brendan return from Exile to join them. Probst takes the immunity idol back from Jalapeño, and Sydney loudly says "see you soon" because being an asshole is the only way she can get camera time. Probst explains the challenge: there are several large decorated crates on the other end of a field that two members from each tribe must roll back to the start. Once all the crates are at the starting line, tribe members must stack them into a staircase that has their tribe's name written on the side, which satisfies the puzzle component of the challenge. Once the staircase has been assembled correctly, all tribe members must climb it to a platform. The first team to have all members on the platform wins.
Hooray! There's no cheesy idol wipe to take us to the challenge. Taj and J.T. run out for Jalapeño while Brendan and Debbie go for Tempura. Brendan and Debbie reach their crate first, but J.T. and Taj make it back before them because Taj is Unstoppable. Then Stephen (why him before Spencer?) and Sydney run out, soon to be followed by Tyson and Sierra. Once again, I see that Douche is waiting as long as possible before actually having to participate in a challenge. Tyson and Sierra make it back before Stephen and Sydney, so now Tempura is in the lead because Stephen and Sydney don't know how to roll a crate. Joe and Sandy make up for some lost time against Douche and Erinn. J.T. and Spencer roll their crate into Jerry on the way back, and now Jerry is in pain. Then all of Douche's fantasies come true as he and Tyson get to run out for Tempura. Obviously, he wants their time together to last as long as possible, as he takes his sweet-ass time rolling the crate back to the platform. Tempura doesn't lose their lead, though, since Stephen is rolling the crate for Jalapeño and he sucks at that. Tyson and Brendan go out for Tempura's final crate with a big lead on Spencer and Taj. J.T. tells Spencer to "keep it straight." Heh heh heh.
Tempura starts on their staircase first, with Erinn giving direction on where to place each crate. Jalapeño starts building, too, but it looks like Tempura has this in the bag. Oh, but wait -- as Jalapeño continues to build and work together, Tempura has come to a standstill as they're not sure where to place their last three blocks. Erinn has an idea, but Brendan and Douche have decided that they know better despite the fact that Erinn has done a fine job of building the first half of the staircase so far. Meanwhile, Jalapeño only has one crate left to place. Tempura picks things back up, but they've lost their lead. And they lose it even more as Jalapeño works together to place the difficult last crate and Tempura does not, which Jerry having to be reminded to participate. Sure enough, Jalapeño completes the puzzle and their staircase. They're all on the platform before Tempura can even place their last block. Before Douche can let out another primal cry for attention, Jerry says "I'm through. I'm finished" loud enough for everyone to hear.
Probst hands the idol to Taj, who kisses it and hugs it close to her bosom. He sends them away and turns to Tempura. He says momentum has "definitely shifted." Yes, Tempura built up such an incredible head of victorious speed with their one challenge win. He'll see them tonight at Tribal Council. Jerry provides the post-challenge wrap-up interview, saying that he feels responsible for the team's loss because he was too "weak" to give it his all. His stomach still hurts, and he's pretty sure that his teammates are starting to see him as the weakest link. And it doesn't sound like he's too upset about that. I'm sure Jerry's not feeling great, but no one is. I think what's really going on is that this is a lot tougher than he thought it would be and he wants to go home but doesn't want to actually quit, as that would make him look really bad. So he's basically forcing his team to give him an honorable discharge.
Tempura returns to camp, and Jerry makes sure to lie down and look ill. Erinn's loving this, and also makes sure to loudly ask if he's feeling any better. Debbie offers to fill Jerry's canteen, but he says he's fine. Jerry tells us that he was feeling okay in the challenge until that first block went down. Then his energy was "sapped." Well, yeah. So was everyone's. I'll bet it was sapped even more when you saw the Jalapeños take the lead away from you and realized that you were on a truly pathetic and sad team. Jerry claims that he's trying to "endure" and "tough it out" and assures us that he won't quit. He says his team will have to vote him out if they want him to leave. I still think it's quitting if you leave your team with no choice but to vote you out. Sorry, Jerry, but you're not saving any face with me.
The rest of the tribe heads into the water to talk about the challenge and what went wrong. Erinn diplomatically says there was a "communication breakdown." The rest of the tribe doesn't feel like coming up with possible solutions to their problems, so instead they say it's not so bad and it's still the beginning of the game and they've only lost one more immunity challenge than Jalapeño. Brendan asks what's up with Jerry, and Debbie says the beans are making him sick and since that's all they really have to eat, he can't eat anything. "That makes it easy," Brendan says. Erinn gets a big ol' grin on her face, and Douche fumes. He interviews that as soon as Erinn found out that Jerry was most likely going home before her, she "looked at the tribe with an evil sneer." He then demonstrates this for us. Even when he does it, it doesn't look that evil. Creepy, yes. When Erinn did it, it looked a lot more relieved than evil.
Douche can't wait to talk to Tyson about this. He says he's "so pissed off" and demonstrates Erinn's "evil look" yet again. He is so damn proud of it, and it's not even that good. So she smiled. Big deal. "It was the evilest look!" he claims; "I can't stand it, man." Tyson says he's trying to convince Jerry to "stay strong" so they can vote Erinn out instead. But that would sort of ruin Jerry's plan to get voted out because this game was tougher than he thought it would be. Douche interviews that Tyson is his assistant coach, right hand man, and his general. They're in agreement to vote Erinn out tonight, but he's not sure about Debbie and Sierra. Oh, so now that Douche needs Sierra, she's in his alliance? Enjoy it while it lasts, Sierra, because Douche will turn on you as soon as Erinn is gone. He is all about the divide and conquer and setting one person apart to bond the team against her. He probably does this to his poor soccer girls all the time. Well, at least they're free of him now.
So now, Douche has to win the girls over to his side. He accomplishes this by explaining to Sierra and Debbie that he must surround himself with people who have integrity. Uh ... then why did you audition to be on this show, Douche? He says he is simply unable to even "exist" around people like Erinn. The girls, of course, can, but not Douche: "I am so true that existing around people that smile evilly when somebody else is on their knees kills me! I can't exist around -- I can't look at her, I can't walk by her now!" Is he for real? He can't be. This has to be some kind of awesome Sugar-style fuck you to reality shows, and Douche is actually just a frustrated actor trying to tear this thing down from the inside out. There is no way anyone could legitimately believe the things that Douche is saying, or think that the way to win people over is to tell them that they are not as "true" as you are, whatever that even means. Sierra knows exactly what's going on, and interviews that she isn't about to vote Erinn out before Jerry just so that Douche can settle the vendetta he's created in his own mind. Not only that, Sierra says, but also since this tribe had no problem voting her out when she was sick, she thinks the same should apply to Jerry.
Jerry's still lying around conspicuously. Tyson urges him to "stay strong" and not give up. "Yeah," Jerry says, but he clearly doesn't care and wants to go home. Tyson says they're voting for Erinn tonight because of her alliance with Candace. "She's just here to lie and deceive," Tyson says, as if everyone else in this game plans to do anything different. Jerry hopefully asks if his name has come up yet. Tyson says it hasn't. Jerry is disappointed.
Brendan sets off to look for the idol. He starts at the wooden statue to the treemail box. He shakes it and examines it and finds nothing ... until he looks up its skirt and finds a small hole with the idol sitting inside. Wow, I really underestimated Brendan's idol-finding abilities. I also overestimated the people behind the scene's maturity level. I mean, they basically gave the poor treemail statue a butthole and shoved an immunity idol up it. Brendan is very happy about this, and never misses an opportunity to remind us about his entrepreneur skillz and how they relate to this game. As he hides the idol under a rock, he says that both in business and in Survivor, he isn't trying to make money -- he's trying to win.
The sun is setting, but then we go back to Camp Tempura and it's still plenty light out. How much last-minute scrambling and scheming do we really have to see? The tribe enjoys a pot of beans, especially Jerry since this is another chance to show off how sick he is. Erinn interviews that she wants to put the spotlight on Jerry, but not in a way that will turn people off of her. Too late, Erinn! You smiled that one time so you're screwed. She says people who don't want to be here (Jerry) should be sent home, so that the people who do want to be here (Erinn) can stay. Brendan asks Jerry how he's feeling on a scale of thumbs down to thumbs up. Jerry gives him a sideways thumb. He claims he's feeling better, then remembers that he needs to be feeling worse if he wants to be voted out and says all he needs to be one hundred percent is a cheeseburger, which pretty much tells you that he's already got his menu planned for tonight after he gets voted out. I don't know about you guys, but when I have a real stomachache, the last thing I want is a freaking cheeseburger. But when it's a fake stomach ache to get me out of something I don't want to do, then yes, cheeseburgers sound delicious.
Tyson interviews that Jerry's "illness" has made him a candidate to go home tonight, but he's really hoping for a blindside, because those are awesome. And blindsiding Erinn would look especially cool because she wants to be here so bad. "I love seeing people cry when you crush their dreams," Tyson says. Ew, Tyson is gross. As much as he tries to separate himself from Douche by making fun of him in interviews, I don't think they're all that different.
Finally, it's time for Tribal Council. Douche really dressed up for the occasion, sporting his very best Seagaltail. Probst talks to Tyson first, asking him how important the momentum that Tempura doesn't have is in this game. Tyson says it's very important, but it doesn't take much to get it back. If they can focus and get things together to win the challenge, then they'll be fine. Probst brings up the last challenge, and how Erinn was plenty focused and had a plan to build the staircase, only for things to fall apart as soon as the tribe stopped listening to her. Erinn says that's exactly right - she knew where every crate was supposed to go, and her team second-guessed her and lost time, only to end up doing what she wanted them to anyway and losing because they didn't do it fast enough. You might not want to blow your own horn too much there, Erinn. Douche can get away with that, for some reason. But not you.
Probst turns to Brendan, asking him if the group communicates as much as it should. Jerry immediately shakes his head no, although he himself has done a fine job of communicating to everyone that he's sick and a liability and needs to be sent home with a cheeseburger. Brendan thinks they communicate very well, which is easy for him to say since he's been in Exile most of the time, and Probst asks Jerry if he agrees. Jerry says no, and that if they had appointed one person to be in control and telling everyone what to do, things could have been different. Except that there was one person telling everyone what to do -- Erinn. You guys just decided to stop listening to her. Probst asks Jerry who he thinks should be the leader of Tempura. Cut to Douche, smiling in anticipation of hearing his name. Not so fast, Douche! Jerry suggests Brendan, much to both Brendan and Douche's horror. Probst knows exactly what to do now, and asks Douche if he agrees with Jerry's assessment. Of course he doesn't! Douche thinks he'd make a much better leader, saying he already assumed this role back in the beginning of the game when they were on the truck and he made eye contact with every teammate and told them "with my eyes," he actually claims in all seriousness, what to take off the truck. Before you start laughing, most of Tempura but especially Erinn, I went back and watched that episode, and sure enough, Douche was totally blinking in Morse code. Not only that, but if you pause it at the right part, you can also see psychic brainwaves shooting out of his eyeballs and into those of his teammates. You know, I hear he's the only conductor in the world who doesn't use a baton -- he wears those Coke bottle glasses that make his eyes look really big and the musicians look to those for guidance. Also, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Probst asks Erinn to explain one of the five awesome expressions she made during Douche's speech. Erinn says that Douche might be "used to" the role of leader, but Brendan does it better. Douche's frown at this is so epic that it gets its own musical flourish. Probst asks Douche for a rebuttal, and he says that he's "not criticizing" Brendan, but they've lost three challenges in a row under his supposed leadership and there's a "personality clash" between Douche and Erinn. Erinn didn't get any of Douche's eye messages around camp, apparently, as she says she was not aware of any personality clashes. All she knows is that Douche is always saying he has a great idea, but he never actually acts on them. Probst asks Erinn if she's saying that Douche is passive-aggressive. Probst hates Douche and knows that we all do, too, so we are all loving this moment. And then! Probst decides that Douche's problem isn't his passive-aggressiveness, but his ego, and asks Douche if he agrees. Of course Douche does not, claiming that he'd rather be an assistant coach than stroke his ego by being a head coach. Meanwhile the rest of the tribe except for Debbie laugh at him. If you're going to walk around making everyone call you Coach, I think that means you want to be a head coach. Otherwise, you'd tell them to call you Assistant Coach and I'd be calling you AssCo instead of Douche. So stop pretending that you don't want to lead this tribe into the ground. Douche says he was just saying why he was surprised when Erinn said Brendan was the leader and not him. Except that Jerry was the person who said it, Douche. Stop talking with your eyes and start listening with your ears.
Probst asks Jerry how tonight's vote will make Tempura "better." Jerry says the person going home tonight is their weakest player, which is true if it's Jerry or Douche, but not if it's Erinn. With that, it's time to vote. Douche brings his jacket with him to the booth and drapes it over his arm as he votes, just like last time. Erinn votes for Jerry, saying she hopes he feels better. Jerry votes for Erinn, and actually spells her name correctly. I wonder if she gave everyone a refresher course on how to spell it before they left, or if Jerry's just such a bad speller (remember "Candance" last week?) that he would have spelled this name humorously wrong if it was spelled the normal way, too.
Probst old-man-walks to get the urn and brings it back. He asks if anyone wants to play the idol. Brendan stays put. The first vote is for Jerry. The second vote is for Jerry, and the most evilest of evil smiles creeps across Erinn's face. Then she gets a vote and it disappears. But then Jerry gets all the rest of the votes, just like he was hoping for. Whatever. If you don't want to be in this game, I sure won't miss you when you leave.
See our predictions for who will be this season's sole survivor.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.