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Bob gets on his high horse and yells at Sugar for laughing at Randy when he gave Probst the fake immunity idol that Bob himself made and gave to Randy. Corinne gets in on the yelling action, because that's a good way to stay in the game. The reward challenge brings messages on the product placement phone from contestants' loved ones, with the winner receiving gross pizza, beer, and a chance to watch the full message. Bob wins easily. Of course, he doesn't have to settle for just a phone message -- wife Peggy comes alive and they have a happy reunion. Then all the loved ones go to the Nobag camp, and Ken talks strategy with his sister, Matty proposes to his girlfriend (she said yes), and Sugar's sister, Salt, smuggles in some of their father's ashes to toss into the Fang lake. I'm sure he's thrilled to be down there with the leeches and Randy's pee.
Once the loved ones leave, Bob reveals his latest plan to Corinne: he's going to make yet another fake idol and say it's the idol that Marcus pretended to throw away, but really stuck in his pocket and hid back at camp. He never got a chance to use it, but he told Bob were it was and Bob's held onto it ever since. To implement their plan, one of them has to win the immunity challenge, where contestants must answer questions about Gabon to earn balls, which are then thrown at a target. Whoever gets closet to the center wins. While Sugar wins the most balls, Bob takes first, second, and third place to win immunity.
He and Corinne hatch their plan, and Corinne convinces Ken that she has an idol and she, Bob, him, and Crystal can align together to vote Matty out. Bob then reveals the fake idol, and it's actually better than his first one. It's got little metal faces and beads and everything! How the hell did he do that? Is there a craft store at the bottom of the Fang lake along with Sugar's dad's ashes? It looks like the plan will work perfectly … until Ken and Crystal decide that only one of them will vote for Matty, just in case the idol is a fake. That doesn't make much sense -- if the idol is real, Corinne will play it and her and Bob's votes for Matty will take him out. If it's fake, Corinne will go home with the majority of the votes -- but Matty will know that someone in his alliance voted against him. That's exactly what happens. Corinne goes home with a very gracious exit speech in which she hopes everyone's lives are miserable except Ken and Bob's, and Matty stays in the game but gets suspicious.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The previously on segment focuses on the immunity idol Marcus and Randy threw away, so I guess we haven't seen the last of it after all. Amazingly enough, Probst credits the Fang alliance with "brilliant strategy" in how they took the Onion alliance out. We see Randy play his fake idol again, and Sugar laughing her ass off. "Sending him home and humiliating him at the same time," Probst says, as we see a hilarious shot of Randy being eliminated with dissolves of Sugar laughing in slow motion. There's a new scene with Bob, where he says that Sugar didn't just say "ha ha" at Randy's misfortune, she laughed for a long time, and this irritated him. I wonder if it irritates him now that he's read post-show interviews where Randy said he hopes Bob has a heart attack.
Nobag returns to camp following Tribal Council. Sugar declares that the best Tribal Council so far, and Ken asks Bob if it was his idea to give Randy the fake idol. Here's where Bob should have said he didn't know the idol was fake and Sugar must have planted it on Exile "Island" when she found the real one, but no. Instead, he readily admits to giving Randy an idol he knew was fake, saying he "didn't mind" giving Randy a fake idol, but he was very pissed off at how Sugar rubbed Randy's ouster in his face with all of her laughing. "Don't ever do that again," Bob says. Have we ever seen him angry before? Also, he's saying that Sugar should have been happy enough that Randy was leaving the game without laughing at him like that, but if that was how Bob felt, then why did he give Randy the fake idol at all? How can Bob get on his high horse when he's the only reason why Sugar was able to have such a great time booting Randy in the first place? Sugar acts appropriately contrite. But while she might be sorry that she pissed Bob off, she's not at all sorry for laughing at Randy. As she tells us, Randy "dug his own grave" and it was hilarious.
And now it's Corinne's turn to be pissed. She (kind of rightly, I must admit) points out that Sugar was all about teaching her how to be nice to people, and asks if this was one of her lessons. Sugar doesn't seem to think she's a hypocrite, though. She says Corinne talks about everyone behind his back and then acts nice to his face. It's much more honorable to laugh in people's faces when you've fucked them over and they can't do anything about it. Corinne says she has to talk behind people's backs because if she said something to their faces, it would be bad game play. And just look where Corinne's "good" game play has gotten her! Watching members of her alliance get voted out one by one. Corinne says she didn't come here to make friends -- she came here to play the game. Sugar says that's exactly right. They all came here to play the game, and that's what Sugar's doing. Corinne has no response to this, so she runs over to the nearest cameraman and talks about the members of her tribe behind their backs: "I am now in a camp of mutants, none of whom I like. So it's very difficult for me to pretend to be nice to them. That's not something I'm used to. And that's done." No, it isn't. As usual, Corinne is all talk and no game.
After the shortest opening credits sequence ever, it's morning at Nobag. After some symbolic elephant vs. gorilla confrontation, Ken and Bob are checking the nets for fish. They've caught two big ones, although they're looking kind of dead. Ken reminds us that he's not an outdoorsy kind of person, but this game has allowed him to do something he would have never done otherwise. Ken and Bob bring their catch back to shore, and Crystal says the large catfish they caught looks like a "mini-shark." I think it looks much more like a catfish, which is what it is. Crystal makes me feel like Jacques Cousteau. The catfish is moving, so I guess it wasn't dead before. It sure did pick the wrong time to start fighting for its life, though. With that, Bob starts building something out of a used can. The others marvel at his intelligence except for Ken, who tells us that Bob isn't here to play the game. He's just here to build things. "That's stupid," Ken says. But useful, as Bob managed to make a grilling pan by flattening out the can, and now it's grilled catfish fillets for everyone! Ken says he's ready to get rid of Bob and take charge.
Reward challenge time! The contestants will divide into two teams of three. Team members will be tied together and race through a swamp and collecting gear-shaped puzzle pieces. Once all seven pieces have been collected, they must put them on a board so that all the gears work together to raise a flag. The first team to do so moves onto the final round, where the three players will compete against each other to solve a sliding puzzle. The first person to solve the sliding puzzle wins. And what are they playing for? Well, it's time for the family visit! Oh, except not really, as Probst says that he's sorry, but their family members are totally not here. But they are on videos loaded onto the product placement cell phone. Crystal is already crying. In the immortal words of Randy: "wah wah wah." Crystal gets to see her message first.
Crystal's boyfriend Andre is on there with her daughter, Destiny. They say everything's going well at home and they miss her. Ken's . His message is from his sister, Jenny. He gets all weepy as she tells him to do his best and never give up. Ken is embarrassed to cry, but says he misses his family and "it's been rough." Can you imagine if the message had been from his Wii instead? Then we would have seen a true emotional breakdown. Probst tells the other contestants they're allowed to crowd around and see each other's messages. Corinne does so, apparently wanting to see how her mutant tribemates live. Susie's up . Her husband and son are on, and they miss her and how loud the house is when she's around. Amazingly enough, Corinne has loved ones. Her whole family -- mom, dad, sister, and brother -- are on this one, and they've chosen the odd staging location of a stair landing for their message. They're also passing a microphone around even though they're loud enough without it. Corinne cries. It would seem that she has feelings. Bob's . He gets to see his wife, Peggy. She says she hopes Bob is doing well in the game, but more importantly that he's having a good time. She's just as bad at the strategy side of this game as her husband. "I'm the luckiest man in the world," Bob says. "Aw," Probst says insincerely. He's so jealous. So bitter. Matty gets to go . He wants to hear from his girlfriend, of course, and she pops up with their dog. She says they're as "happy as can be" without him around, which is kind of mean. She says she loves him and they can't wait for him to get back. Matty cries. Sugar is last. She gets a message from her sister, Salt. Salt hangs out in a living room full of blurred-out photos, which is strange. She says Sugar has everyone's support, and especially their father's. How does she know? I hope after I die people don't go around making assumptions about how I'd feel about things, especially if those things concern my family members' participation in reality shows. Because I'm pretty sure I'd be against it. Maybe I'm just mad that they did this the week after Randy got booted. I really, really, REALLY wanted to see who his loved one was. I have a feeling his message would have just been a video of the urn holding his dog's ashes, sitting motionless on the table, saying nothing.
Now that the contestants are good and emotional, Probst tells them that for a reward, they'll get to see the rest of the message their loved ones sent them on the product placement phone (which they cannot, apparently, use to call said loved ones. Nice international coverage, Sprint) while eating typical nasty Survivor pizza, brownies, and drinking beer. "You'll fill up your belly and you will fill up your heart," Probst says cheesily. Plus, no one has to go to Exile "Island." With that, Crystal and Susie draw the captain rocks and get to choose their teams. Susie wins the first pick because Crystal can't even win a rock, paper, scissors match, and she goes for Matty. Crystal picks ... Sugar. Whaa? The only person less useful in challenges than Sugar is Crystal. And since Crystal is the one picking, that means she's chosen the worst person the entire group. It doesn't make sense. Matty picks Ken. Sugar picks Bob. Corinne doesn't get picked at all, so Probst explains that she doesn't get to play, so there will be no chance at a reward for her. That sucks. That super-sucks. I hate Corinne, but that's really unfair. Why not do this challenge when they have an even number of players? Like last week? When Randy was there? And we could have seen the video of his dog's ashes? Corinne tells us that the team picks made it very clear where she stands in this game, as if the last thirty-three days hadn't done that already. She doesn't want to go home, but she doesn't know what she can do to save herself.
With that, the Corinne-less teams are off! Since she's tied to Sugar, Crystal won't get a chance to show off her Olympic speed. Surprisingly, Crystal's team takes an early lead despite Sugar's frequent falling and losing her top. Crystal drags her along, showing actual athletic prowess for the first time since Athens 2004. Her team is the first to reach the first station of pieces, but Susie's team is pretty close behind. Susie's team catches them on the way back and take the lead. They get their pieces back first and start the puzzle. Or at least, Ken starts the puzzle. Susie and Matty wisely leave it to him. Crystal's team (now with Crystal lagging behind ... sigh) soon return with their pieces. Now it's Bob's time to shine! His team works well, giving him the pieces he requests, while Susie's team just kind of stands around and watches Ken. Crystal's team is the first to raise their flag, and Bob does what appears to be another one of his celebratory herb garden hip thrusts. Susie's team wasn't even close. Closer than Corinne, though!
Now it's time for the final round. Bob's looking pretty confident that he's got this one in the bag. Meanwhile, Crystal keeps trying to lift the pieces up instead of sliding them. Yeah. It's not even close. Bob solves the sliding puzzle in what appears to be seconds and coolly gestures for Probst to come over and check. Probst proclaims the puzzle solved and Bob the winner. He hands him his product placement phone and sends the others away. Ken tells us that he's bummed that he didn't get to see the rest of his sister's message, but now Bob is showing himself to be more of a threat than ever, so he'll be the to go home.
After the break, Bob pours himself a beer and watches his video. They gave him a nice couch to sit on, too. And a napkin to wipe his tears. Peggy and her Maine accent say they miss Bob a lot and know he's going to do well. Then she says she has something to show Bob, and takes off. "Show me what?" Bob wonders, no doubt pissed that Peggy is wasting precious video seconds looking for something. But no! Because look who's coming out from the tree behind Bob? Peggy! She got to Africa real freaking fast! She sneaks up on Bob like she's Elmer Fudd hunting for wabbits, but she has to practically be on top of him before he realizes there's something there. When he does, he explodes in happiness. Did you really think they wouldn't have the loved ones visit? Please. The loved ones always visit! Except for the first season, when they wrote letters. Except for Jenna's kids. Bob offers to catch some termites for Peggy to eat (which actually might taste better than that nasty pizza). "No," Peggy says, as if his question was serious. Knowing Bob, though, maybe it was. Peggy tells us that she loved the way Bob smelled, which was "like a campfire." I tell you, people from Maine are different than the rest of us. ["Hey! There's nothing wrong with liking the smell of a campfire. It's not like she said she liked his stinky feet, or his bad breath or his unwashed hair." -- Angel, the editor from Maine] She says he looks dirty, but "very happy." Bob tells us that he was totally convinced that the loved ones had only sent videos. I would have been, too, if that stupid "preview" clip on the CBS site didn't totally give away the fact that the loved ones were there in person, and that Bob won the fucking challenge. Thanks, CBS.com!
Back at Nobag, people are laughing and joking despite their recent loss. We don't see Corinne, but I think we can safely assume that she isn't laughing or joking. Suddenly, there's a whistle, and Bob arrives at camp with Peggy. Everyone runs out to greet them, and Peggy gets hugs from people who smell like campfire. Matty looks bummed out. Peggy recognizes Ken, most likely from Bob's descriptions. Although there is a slim chance that they know each other from Smash Brothers championships. Bob whistles again, and a group of clean people appear on the hill. Yes, it's the loved ones! They let all the contestants see their loved ones after all. Awww. And not a Probst insincere aw, either. I like the loved one episodes. Everyone forgets about Peggy and runs to his or her loved one. Hugs and tears all around. Crystal appears to be topless as she tells us that she can't explain how happy she was to see Andre. She's taller than him, but she's well-trained in the lean into hug so he actually appears to be taller than her. Corinne tells us that it was great to be with someone who knows and loves her (as this is no doubt a rare experience for Corinne), and gets her sense of humor and loves how mean she is. I have a brother, too, and he doesn't seem to like it when I'm mean to him. Nor should he.
Everyone splits off. Ken starts talking strategy to his sister, like she cares. He describes Crystal as "the big black girl" and says he saved her and Sugar's asses, so they trust him one hundred percent now. He's also planning to blindside Matty. "If I make the Final Three, I will win this game," he says. That's what Cirie thought, too. And Amanda.
Salt and Sugar hang out at the dock. Salt says their father, Flour, would be proud of how well Sugar's done in this game so far. Sugar tells us that came on this show hoping it would help her deal with her father's death. Salt managed to smuggle some of his ashes into Gabon, which, how the hell did she manage that? There's no way that's legal! Why do I get pulled out of the security line for accidentally trying to bring a bottle of contact lens fluid on the plane and Salt is allowed to walk around with human remains? She dumps them in Sugar's hand. Sugar thanks her dad for being with her throughout the game and keeping her strong and laughing at Randy's misfortune with her. And for letting Sugar see Salt, even though if Flour had anything to do with that, you'd think he'd help Sugar actually win the challenge. With that, the sisters sprinkle the ashes in the lake. Okay, again, when I die, I do not want people just sprinkling my ashes wherever they see fit. Don't you toss part of me into a leech-filled lake filled with catfish poop. That is not cool. Also, it's probably going to fuck up Gabon's ecosystem. Way to go, ladies. Sugar says she was too overcome to speak at Flour's funeral, so she's glad she got the chance to say a few words today.
Matty and Jamie also head down to the dock (I guess there are two docks?) while Matty tells us that he's been afraid to face tough things in life, but he knows now that he doesn't want another day to go by without Jamie knowing how much she means to him. While a random water buffalo watches from a cutaway, they hug again, and Matty starts crying. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and have kids with her. And he wants to marry her. He even made her a ring! Although he didn't know her size so he put it on a necklace, which was readily available at the craft store Bob frequented for his fake idol. Jamie says yes. He says he isn't joking. She isn't either! Aw! Two pretty people are getting married. Matty remembers that he forgot to get on bended knee, so he does that and asks her to marry him again. She says yes again. He hugs her crotch. The water buffalo takes off to alert its jungle friends about the great news.
Susie and her husband apparently didn't do anything worth watching, so we just see them hug good-bye. That's more than we saw of Crystal and Andre or Corinne and her brother. The loved ones leave, and Matty tells us that the good things in life aren't easy. Except for trust funds, but I guess he knows how easy those are to lose, too. "You have so much ability and gold in you, and if you just dig for it, you will find it," he says. Is he talking about picking his nose? That's gross. The contestants wave good-bye to their loved ones and Bob tries not to be bitter that all he really won in that challenge was some nasty pizza.
The day, Corinne and Bob set off to get the treemail. The scene at camp Nobag continues just long enough for us to see Sugar bang her toe on a log. Alone, Bob and Corinne agree that tonight would be the perfect time to blindside Matty. Except for the fact that it's also the perfect time to get rid of Corinne that nasty hag. Corinne's hoping that the Fang alliance will do that if he doesn't win immunity, thereby saving them for another three days. Back at camp, the five talk about who should go home . Sugar tells us that she's confident that their five-person alliance will stick together until the end. Matty thinks Bob should go home . Sugar says that Matty's the only person who can beat Bob in a physical challenge. Bob is fifty-seven years old. Crystal is an Olympic champion. I'm sorry, I just can't get over how freaking bad she is at this. Sugar says the plan is to vote Bob out before Corinne, because Bob is a much bigger threat.
In the woods, Bob tells Corinne that Marcus never threw that immunity idol in the ocean -- he snuck it in his pocket at hid it at Kamp Kota. But he didn't bring it to Tribal Council with him, so Bob took it for himself. "Is that a legit idol?" Corinne says, as Bob shows her something wrapped in some cloth. "No!" Bob says; "but it sounded pretty good, didn't it?" It did to Corinne, and if she's the self-proclaimed smartest person in this game, then surely it will convince the other mutants. Bob says he's going to put another fake idol together and explain its existence with the story he just told Corinne. Damn ... that might be genius. Although, if Bob had that all this time, why wouldn't he have used it before? He could have given it to Randy to double-blindside everyone. Surely the Fang Five will think of that and realize there's no way this idol could be real. Bob tells us he's going to make his second "very good" fake idol and let it slip to someone on the Fang alliance that he has it, so they'd better rethink their voting strategy. Corinne says this will only work if one of them wins immunity today. "Well, we'll do that," Bob says. Corinne is very pleased that someone has once again done the thinking for her.
Immunity challenge! Today we get the trivia challenge. Probst will ask questions about Gabon. For each answer a contestant gets right, he gets one ball. Once all the questions have been asked, the contestants will throw their balls at a big target at the bottom of a hill. Whoever's ball is closest to the center wins immunity. As always, this is Susie's challenge to lose!
First question: True or False: gorillas were discovered in Gabon. It's true, and only Sugar and Corinne get it right. Probst says gorillas were discovered in 1847 by a guy who must have been fucking terrified. Can you imagine seeing one of those things for the first time?
Second question: a female elephant is called a: a mare; b: a doe; or c: a cow. This is ridiculously easy since Probst prefaced the question by saying that the male elephant is called a bull. Shockingly, Ken, Matty, and Crystal still manage to get it wrong. Oh my god. Crystal isn't going to get any of these, is she? There isn't a challenge she can't suck at. She even sucked at the auction! It's amazing.
Third question: True or False: the Gabonese viper, while poisonous, is virtually harmless to humans. Susie and Corinne say true. Probst makes fun of them and says that poisonous means deadly. Well, what if it was like the daddy longlegs spider that I always heard was full of deadly poison but its fangs were too small to bite humans? Everyone else guessed false, so they get balls. Crystal is on the board!
Fourth and final question: True or False: the elephant's trunk serves three purposes, as the elephant's arm, nose, and mouth. Wait, mouth? Don't elephants have a mouth? Yes, they do. The answer is false, and Crystal and Susie managed to get that one wrong. Sugar, on the other hand, got all four questions correct even though Corinne says she's stupid. Bob and Corinne have three balls, Matty and Ken have two, and Susie and Crystal have only one. But one is all they need.
Ken is the first to throw. His ball hits the target, but not as close to the middle as Ken would like. Matty throws , and his ball lands closer than Ken's. Sugar's throw lands further away than Matty's. Susie has one ball, and it also lands further out than Matty's. Corinne throws , and she can't beat Matty either. I like how Probst insists on saying that every throw looks good. How would he know? Unless the contestant trips and drops the ball by accident, they all look good from way up in the air. Bob's throw beats Matty's, making him the new person to beat. Crystal throws . Her only throw falls short, of course. Ken's and Matty's throws do, too. Sugar gets close, but not quite. What's up with her hair today? It's all crimped and over on one side. She's looking very Cyndi Lauper. Corinne's second throw doesn't make it, either. Bob's second throw lands even closer than his first one, just one ring outside of the center. Damn, he is good this week. Sugar and Corinne can't beat it with their third throws, which means Corinne is out of the running with an anguished groan. Bob's last throw doesn't beat his second one, but it does land in the second ring from the center. The only way he can lose now is if Sugar beats him with her fourth and final throw. She gets really close, with her ball rolling through the center, but it ultimately lands outside of Bob's. He wins immunity. Not only that, but I think all three of his balls were the closest to the center. He must kill at bocce. Phase 1 of Operation: Fake Idol 2 is complete. Bob tells us that his plan now is to build his fake idol and convince two members of the Fang alliance to join him and Corinne and blindside Matty.
Nobag return to camp. Corinne tells us once again about her and Bob's fake idol plan, which is actually just Bob's fake idol plan. Not Corinne's. Stop trying to steal his thunder, Corinne. Corinne and Bob sneak into the woods and go over the plan. They're going to say that Bob didn't tell anyone about his idol and was planning to use it tonight if he didn't win immunity. Since he did, he's going to give it to Corinne tonight. Corinne believes that if they think she has an idol and that it's legit, they won't vote her out. Instead, they'll take Matty out. She says it's a longshot, but it's all they have. Corinne credits her intelligence and Bob's craftiness for this plan. I credit Bob's intelligence and Bob's craftiness. "It would be so awesome if this worked," Corinne says. I hate her, but I love a good blindside. So I agree.
Back at camp, the Fang alliance is trying to remember how to spell Corinne's name. Ha ha ha! Ken thinks Corinne is going to try to convince Bob to give her his immunity necklace. They agree that if that happens, they'll just vote for Bob. Ken says they have nothing to worry about -- they're a tight five and they're going to stay that way. Matty tells us that they're getting down to the Final Six and Bob is a major threat, so things are scary.
Ken and Corinne meet at the dock. Ken says that Bob's win spoiled "our" plans. Does he means the Fang alliance's plans or something he's cooked up with Corinne? Either way, Corinne's got a trap to set. She says "that's okay" because she's got something that she thinks will keep her safe tonight. "I won't say anything, I promise," Ken says. Corinne strikes, telling him the Marcus idol story and ending with Bob giving it to her and Matty being blindsided out tonight. Ken agrees that that is probably Corinne and Bob's best option (not to mention Ken's). So, really, it's in Ken's best interests to keep this a secret from his alliance and let Matty be blindsided at Tribal, no? If the idol is real, then Corinne and Bob don't need a majority vote to take Matty out at all. I'm starting to see some cracks in Bob's genius idea. Ken says he'd like to talk to Bob about this, and Corinne goes off to get him, saying he has to tell him that she told Ken about the idol. Left alone, Ken says he might have to jump alliances.
Corinne and Bob return. Corinne butters Ken up, asking for his input since he's just as smart as they are. Ken says he agrees that they should take Matty out . Corinne asks if Crystal ("because she's smarter than the rest of them") would vote for Matty with the three of them. Ken says he thinks so. Bob says they'll pull Crystal into a Final Four alliance and vote for Matty tonight. Yeah, a Final Four alliance with two people in it who the jury is sure to vote for over Ken or Crystal. Ken would be a moron to side with Bob and Corinne. Corinne tells us that this "ridiculously hair-brained scheme" might actually work. This proves to her that the mutants she's playing with are truly stupid. I think they're all stupid not to blindside Sugar right now. She's not an immunity threat, but she has an idol.
Bob gets to work on his second Fake Idol. This time he's got twine (fishing line), beads, and metal charms at his disposal. How did he get those? Did his wife give them to him? What the hell? They've got idol-looking faces on them and everything! It's actually more convincing than his last fake idol! There must be a craft store nearby where Bob is getting these. Ah, it turns out that the metal charms were taken off of the contestants' torches. I think season, they're going to have to make some new rules about what can and cannot be used to create a fake idol, or else we're just going to watch hours and hours of contestants doing craft projects. In which case, I'm going to turn this recapping job over to my grandmother. She likes crafts.
Bob sits down with Crystal and tells her the story. Unlike Ken, Crystal actually gets to see the fake idol. Crystal: "what the fuck?" Hey, does anyone think that Crystal's gold medal isn't real at all, but a convincing fake a caring friend made and gave to her to make her feel better about coming in hours behind the second-to-last place finisher at the US Olympic trials? Because that would explain so much. Bob asks Crystal to join him, Ken, and Corinne in a Final Four alliance. And just in case Crystal is wondering why they don't just use the idol tonight and vote Matty off that way without bothering to reach out for extra votes, Bob says they'd rather not use the idol tonight if they don't have to. Clever excuse. Crystal and Bob shake hands, and phase 2 is complete. Bob tells us that the plan seems to be working like a charm, and "the interesting thing is, we're not even gonna have to use the idol." Well, no, Bob, you're not. No matter how well your plan worked, you wouldn't use that idol. Because it's fake. Remember? Crystal and Ken meet in the woods and agree to vote for Matty, then giddily celebrate their new alliance. Oh, BUT WAIT! Ken decides that he wants Corinne's idol out of the game as well as Matty, so he tells Crystal to vote for Corinne and he's going to vote for Matty. Wait -- if they're going to force Corinne to use the idol after all, then why would either of them need to vote for Matty? I guess in case the other three try something behind their backs? Ken tells us that if everything works according to plan, he'll be "the biggest strategist in Survivor history." Um ... no. Not even close.
Ken, Crystal, Corinne, and Bob talk in the hut. Crystal says that she wants to trust Ken, who's telling her to vote for Corinne on the off-chance that the idol is, indeed, fake. Ah, so they're not totally convinced after all. Has Ken seen the fake idol? Maybe if he did, he'd be totally certain that it was real. Because that thing looks totally real. Crystal's hoping this all works and Matty goes home tonight, since this is probably her only chance to get rid of him. Then maybe she should vote for Matty after all, and guarantee he goes home. "The mental part of this game is kicking my ass," Crystal says. Good thing she's got those Olympic medal-winning athletic skills to fall back on! I think Corinne and Bob should have secretly told everyone in the Fang alliance about the idol instead of just two. That way, they could have shaken all the votes up and been able to rely on more people to vote for Matty instead of Corinne, as opposed to just Crystal and Ken.
Tribal Council! Probst calls the jury in. They're all wearing solid pastel colored T-shirts. Interesting. Randy scowls at Bob. Sugar has nothing but smug smiles for Randy. Probst asks Susie if old tribal alliances are still in effect or if people are playing the game for themselves now. How would Susie know? I don't think she's even still playing this game. I think she got voted out weeks ago and no one wants to tell her. Susie says alliances carry you to a certain point, until people get paranoid. Probst asks Bob how he feels about the paranoia. Bob says this is the first time he hasn't felt paranoid in this entire game, thanks to his immunity necklace. Probst asks Corinne if paranoia can be an advantage. Well, duh. That's how it works when you're at the bottom of the alliance. Corinne says it might be her and Bob's only chance to put a crack in the other fives' tight alliance, which becomes more possible as the paranoia sets in.
Probst asks Sugar how paranoia is bad for her game. Sugar says people freak out, believe lies, and flip sides. Since that's exactly what Ken and Crystal have done, we get shots of their reactions to this. Sugar says it's important for the alliance to stay together and its members not to be gullible. Easier for her to say when she's the only person in this game with a legit idol. Probst asks Crystal if it's crazy to trust people at this stage of the game. "With certain people, yes," she says; "certain people, no." The trick to this game is knowing when to trust and when not to.
Probst asks a stupid question of Ken: is tonight's vote more or less important than usual? Every vote is always more important than the last. Duh. Ken says it's very important tonight, and you might think you can trust someone until you see how everyone voted. We see many shots of Matty looking worried during this, which leads me to think that he's not going home tonight. Sorry, Corinne. With that, it's time to vote.
Ken votes for Matty and says he's sorry, but it's a strategic move. Matty votes for Corinne. That's all we see. Apparently Crystal chose to use her inside voice this week.
Probst returns with the urn and asks if anyone wants to play an idol. Ken nods at Corinne, but she stays seated, much to Ken's surprise and disappointment. He gives Bob a "what happened?" shrug. Probst reads the votes. First vote: Matty. Second vote: Corinne. Third vote: Corinne. Fourth vote: Corinne. Fifth vote: Matty. Sixth vote: Matty. And now he's going to wonder who just fucked him over. The last vote will decide who goes home. Did Bob's plan work? Did Ken unknowingly save himself and Crystal from aligning with Bob and Corinne and their fake idol? Yes, he did. The last vote is for Corinne. And it's spelled WRONG. EVEN THOUGH THEY ALL WENT OVER THE CORRECT SPELLING IN THE HUT! Amazing. Who did that? Shame on you! Okay, I checked the site to find out, and it was Crystal. Oddly enough, she won the 2004 National Name Spelling Bee (held in Athens, Georgia). I also saw Sugar's voting speech for Corinne, in which she called her an alcoholic, silicone-enhanced home wrecker, among other things. And then: "good game, but not good enough." That had to hurt Corinne more than anything else.
And even though she promised us last week that she'd spit venom on everyone on her way out, Corinne remains silent. Apparently she did say something about drinking vodka (thereby lending credence to Sugar's alcoholic claims) at Ponderosa, but that's not exactly laying into Sugar like she said she would. Corinne started the game all talk and no action, and she leaves the same way. Of course, she says mean things in her final speech (behind everyone's back as opposed to their face, as always), saying she likes Bob and Ken and hopes the rest of them have miserable lives. Charming!
Who has what it takes to make it to the end? Find out.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.