In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
This week kicks off with, among other things, the Airai tribe giving ten up top (in their heads) to Malakal for ridding the game of Jon Dalton. With that out of the way, there's a challenge in which Ozzy takes over, and you know what that means. This challenge is for both immunity and reward, meaning that Malakal takes home some fishing stuff and doesn't have to go to tribal council later. They do, however, have to send someone to Exile Island. Knowing that EI includes a shot at an idol, Malakal sends Chatty Kathy The Bug-Eyed Possible Crazypants, figuring that this stands the best chance of really annoying Airai and really helping Malakal's game. After they've picked Kathy, however, they learn that they also have to send one of their own with her. Dun! Cirie "Afraid Of Leaves And Crazy Like A Fox" Fields oh-so-reluctantly agrees to be thrown to Exile Island with Kathy, so the two women go off together. Cirie has probably the best social skills of anyone who has ever played (this is why she could befriend Shane, still appear mentally functional, and engineer the only successful 3-2-1 split vote ever), and Kathy falls goofybrains-over-heels for her instantly. The two slog through numerous clues hunting all over for this elusive immunity idol, but we never really learn whether they found it or not.
Meanwhile, back at Airai, they can't boot Kathy because of the immunity idol she picked up last week, courtesy of Yau-Man's help. Because Kathy is part of a Kathy-Tracy-Chet trio that All The Young Dudes and their Dudettes have decided they don't like, a plan is afoot to boot either Tracy or Chet. Mikey B, however, is fearful that whichever one they pick, Kathy will somehow give an immunity idol -- either the one she has or one she finds -- to that person, and the vote will bounce off, back onto whomever Kathy/Tracy/Chet vote for. So he suggests hedging their bets by splitting their votes between Tracy and Chet, so that they are at least guaranteed a tie in the event that one of those two comes up with an idol. Big Giant Creepy Joel, however, is very threatened by Mikey B coming up with this sound and sensible plan, so he decides that Mikey B should be the target. As you know, the way you go after a dude is to knock off his girlfriend, so because Mary (who? EXACTLY) is perceived as Mikey B's biggest ally, Joel gets everybody to vote off Mary. Mary! Yeah, we don't get it either.
In other news: Dear Ozzy, you don't necessarily become the best kisser by opening your mouth the widest. The sooner you realize that kissing is not an immunity challenge, the happier Amanda is going to be. I'm just saying. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on March Of The Hasn't-Beens: Ten former survivors and ten new folks lined up on the beaches of Micronesia, where everyone was happy to see Yau-Man and nobody was happy to see Jon Dalton. After the newbies showed up the old-timers in a cart-building challenge that gave Eliza the first injury of the season, it looked like she might be on the way home. But then Dalton started whining about going home to see his future baby, who apparently was ousted earlier and is...waiting in sequester? It seemed like maybe this was part of some complicated scheme that would eventually involve a phony pregnancy or Dalton's girlfriend turning out to be pregnant with his grandmother or something, but in the end, everybody was like, "Hey, you want to go home? Okay!" And Dalton went home, and it was really anticlimactic, and...here we are. Oh, and Parvati decided that she would go beyond flirting as her strategy to extreme flirting. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, it turns out, is in the tub.
Malakal, Night 3, night-vision return from tribal council. Someone mentions that Ozzy has caught the fish he is carrying with his bare hands. The legend of Ozzy, it never rests. "Yes, guys, we lost Fairplay, but we did gain a fish," Ozzy intones. Even trade, I guess, stink-wise. (Sorry, I know that joke is like picking up a dollar on the sidewalk, but...don't you pick up a dollar if you see one? I'm saying.) Eliza interviews that she thought, when they went off to get rid of Jon, something was going to happen that was all sneaky, but nothing did. So at least it wasn't she who left. Jonathan takes a shot at explaining it as he chats with the group, saying that there was "too much going on for" Dalton in spite of the fact that he "seemed to be holding it together." And by "it," he means "his ruptured soul." Jonathan interviews that it wasn't good that this happened, because it disrupted the plan he was trying to hatch, but he goes on to say that if they can "do what [they're] doing," their extensive experience should allow them to beat the other tribe at almost anything. In other words: "We are hoping for an Ozzy-friendly challenge very soon."
Credits. I think Natalie is a fetal Tracy.
We return to Airai on Day 4, where they're all talking about all the work that still needs to get done. They haven't yet gotten their shelter in order, these folks, and they're getting nervous. As Alexis explains, things are not good, but they do have flint, so they should be able to come up with a fire and get themselves some boiled water to drink. As a bunch of other people look on, Alexis quickly gets a flame going, but it goes out very quickly, apparently as a result of not enough kindling nearby. So the boys move in and take over, and they proceed to get no fire at all. A shot of the sun overhead indicates that time is passing, the sun is slowly burning out, and so forth. Kathy, Chet, and Tracy are having a powwow about the fact that a significant portion of the flint has now been wasted, and they don't even have a fire going. Kathy interviews that they have to get the shelter fixed, because -- and she gets all teary again -- she needs a more comfortable place to sleep. Kathy talks to the tribe about how she really needs a place to sleep, and somebody (probably Joel) barks at her, "If you want someplace to sleep, do something!"
It appears as though everyone has his or her eye on a little piece of cave, but when Kathy and Tracy get to it, Jason announces that it's his, and they can't have it. He then bitches in an interview that Kathy and Tracy haven't done anything productive at all. Like, for instance, fruitlessly wasting half the flint, which produces something, if only destruction and a dead weight loss. "I told them straight up, I don't want you sleeping in the cave," Jason tells us proudly, apparently so convinced that people will dislike Kathy as an individual that they will overlook the selfishness involved in refusing to "allow" another person in a group to sleep somewhere clean and dry, on the theory that You Are Boss. Tracy tells Kathy that "these kids" obviously hate them, so there's absolutely no point in arguing with them. Kathy says that she and Chet and Tracy have been "shunned" by the rest of their tribe: "You can't fight seven against three." She also tells us that it causes you to relive high school and not fitting in, and then, woop-woop-woop, the sirens go off, because if you're going to relive high school on this show, it's going to break you. The first person to feel stuffed in a locker is the first person to go bazoo.
Having been told by Jason that he's not welcome in the shelter that the rest of the tribe is planning, Chet suggests to Kathy and Tracy that they just set up a quick lean-to nearby. Joel makes a disgusted comment about how their decision to build a separate shelter makes the tribe "divided," and it's like...dude. Talk to your boy there about kicking them out of the one you were building. What are they supposed to do? Sleep outside in the rain until they're eliminated? Who raised you, Captain Herbal Essence?
Happy music takes us over to Malakal, where things are much better. There is fishing, and Yau-Man is tending the fire, over which a pot is happily cooking something. Jonathan interviews that they were pretty scattershot on the last challenge, so they're trying to pull it together, and they're hoping that the advantage in sleep and provisions that they believe they have over the fans will be adequate to sustain them and help them actually win the challenge. The music goes semi-porny as Ozzy removes the meat from a giant clam (oh my God, LITERALLY, you people are so gross) while Amanda stands over him...um, hungrily. Ozzy interviews a little reluctantly that he's "starting to become really attracted to Amanda." He mentions that she is both cute and beautiful -- BOTH! -- and then he says, "It's like...UUUUUNNNGGHHH!" That is so romantic. Say it soft, and it's almost like praying. Anyway, Ozzy says that he and Amanda have to "stay apart as long as possible" (I love the implication that the un-apart-ness is inevitable at some point), because being a couple will make them a target.
And then we get to watch Parvati flirt with James for a while, which is about equally appetizing. Okay, no, it's way worse. She interviews that James is "just so cute." Also: all the free graves she could ever need! Amanda giggles in an interview that this is kind of "a couple-y alliance" between her and Ozzy and James and Parvati. "I don't want it to screw up my game," she adds. Oh, nooo. No chance of that.
At Airai, Kathy, Chet, and Tracy have built themselves a mini-lean-to to accommodate them, since they were booted from the other shelter. Erik wanders over, and the rest of the tribe sort of gradually catches on that apparently these people know how to build a shelter, which might be...you know, useful. They all come over and start stealing ideas, and Mikey B is like, "Hey, we'll build ours right to it, with the fire in the middle, and then it'll be like there's no division!" Man, this is the most craven bullshit of all time, isn't it? God's sake, you threw these people out! Tracy, of course, is a little smarter than she is petty (just one of the many ways she and I are different), so she helps them out and says she thinks this should build her a little bit of a relationship with the Hateful Seven. And then Mikey B and Alexis finally get the fire going, so everybody can get some water. They've got an awfully big structure there, like they're planning on making it a bonfire. I'm not sure it actually needs to be quite that big. It's not Homecoming.
So now, they can eat and drink, and things are happier and "more unified." Mikey B shows off a bunch of his tattoos to a curious Mary, and we get to see that one of them is a tattoo of a ticket stub. Ha ha, barf. He interviews that he's kinda flirting with Mary, because she's cute and nice and he figures he can use her liking of him to his advantage. Bleh. Joel looks on disapprovingly as the two bond. He says that Mikey B "likes how Mary looks," so he's going to have to "keep [his] eyes on them." I keep making gagging noises in this paragraph, so I'm going to stop now.
When we return from commercials, it is night at Malakal, and some people are sleeping. But other people are not sleeping, and those people include Ozzy and Amanda, who are making out rather enthusiastically for people who are sleeping near a lot of other people. The morning after, Cirie tells us that she was awake for a good part of the night, and that she was aware of what was going on. "I heard...the sounds of...jungle love, I guess," she says. Heeeee hee. As we watch, Ozzy and Amanda make out, and he shows off his technique, in which he is apparently attempting to eat Amanda's entire head. Dude, it's not an immunity challenge. You don't get any points for opening your mouth the widest. Cirie says that it won't be long before there are birth announcements from...it sounds like she says "Ando"...and "her little Ozzlets." Ha! Way to go keeping it under wraps, there, Ozzy. Staying apart as long as possible! Cirie's also on to Parvati and James.
Cirie sits by a nighttime fire with Jonathan and talks about how "crazy" this all is. She seems very uncertain of exactly what kind of approach she wants to take, because she's not ready to commit to anything, but she's trying to open the door. "It's silly," Jonathan interviews, addressing himself to the makeout shenanigans. "Go get a hotel room. I mean, you've got to take one step back and say, 'There might be somebody awake.' We are sleeping together. In a cave." Ha! Yeeeeah, I'm not sure they've taken many precautions to ensure privacy. Jonathan and Cirie make some "so that's a concern, alliance-wise" noises at each other, but it's pretty noncommittal. As they go back to bed, Jonathan suggests that Cirie think about whether they should work together, and she says, "I definitely want to think about that." Oh, please. Please, please!
The day, it's challenge time, and that means it's Jeff Probst time. The entire Airai tribe looks very relieved and actually applauds the booting of Dalton -- not knowing, of course, that he pretty much offered to go home. Jeff takes back immunity from Airai. He tells the tribes that they'll pick five swimmers, three puzzle-solvers, and a "key master" (hee). The swimmers will each run across a bunch of those lily-pad things and then swim the rest of the way out to a tower; then they'll leap and smash a tile with a baton in mid-air -- remember this from Cook Islands? -- which will cause a key to drop into the water. You retrieve your key, then you swim back and the person goes. When you have all five, you give them to your keymaster, who uses them to unlock the five locks chaining up a big chest. Inside the chest are puzzle pieces, which your puzzle-solvers will put together. Winning tribe gets immunity, plus fishing gear. Furthermore, winners send one person from the losing team to Exile Island. That person is stuck there, but can look for a hidden immunity idol. And there's one more twist, but you don't get it until after. The fans sit out Kathy, after it appears that Chet says he can swim.
As you can imagine, Ozzy goes first for Malakal, with the obvious intent being to build a lead so intimidating that Airai will sink into a deep depression and will cry its way through the rest of the challenge. Jason goes first for Airai. And really, whatever illusions Jason may have about his own awesomeness, Ozzy smokes him good, pretty much from the opening bell. Ozzy skitters across the lily pads in a way that demonstrates that he is still himself, and Jason, of course, flops into the water. And then it's Ozzy swimming, and we all know how Ozzy swimming goes, so I hope you have a strong ego, there, Jason. Ozzy smoothly ascends the tower and smashes the key. Jason is admirably not too far behind him, but...it's still a right smoking. Ozzy comes back, and Ami goes out; she racks herself on the lily pads also. Honestly, that wasn't even fun; that just looked like it hurt. Alexis, for Airai? Hard to tell, but we don't see her fall. She may have made it across. Ami brings back the key, and Amanda heads out. FLOP! Chet goes out for Airai. FLOP! And when he goes to dive in the water a few steps later, he clearly isn't a swimmer, though he "can swim." Amanda heads back with her key, but Chet has had the misfortune of not really knowing where his key went into the water. I think this part is partly luck: if you don't see it, you don't see it, you know? But he's also not a strong enough swimmer to go down to the bottom and look. I kind of feel for Chet, because I'm not sure that a regular person, asked "Can you swim?," answers based on whether he or she could comfortably go to the bottom of a ten-foot body of water and hunt around for a key. Like, "I don't drown" and "I can get from one place to another" is the standard I think Chet was using, but of course, this just gets worse and worse as he flounders.
And Amanda's boob is blurred as she comes up the beach. Oh, Amanda.
After watching Chet bob around for a bit, Joel loudly orders him out of the water so that somebody else can go after the key. Parvati gets her tile broken, so now they're even further ahead. I'm convinced that what hurts Chet more than anything here is that, as he leaves the water in defeat, he's just ambling up the beach in no apparent hurry, and that is not going to do at all. I don't think it's going to matter, but DUDE. You've got to try. People won't necessarily boot you for being a poor swimmer, but they'll freak out if you're not trying. One of the few people to be seen making a full trip across the lily pads is Jonathan -- how about that! -- who is the last person for Malakal. Mikey B is for Airai. Jonathan is doing great, until he, too, doesn't see where his key went. Uh-oh! Fortunately, Jonathan has the ability to go down and fetch it, so while Mikey B picks up some time, they still have a big lead as Erik heads out for Airai, especially since somebody still has to go and get Chet's key.
My favorite part is that James The Challenge Demon (alleged) is the one person they've assigned to the part of the challenge requiring no skill -- opening the locks. Sigh. WHO CAN TAKE HIM ON?
Anyway, from here, there's not a huge amount of suspense. Airai gives it the old junior-college try, but the fact that Chet took so long and didn't wind up bringing his key back anyway dooms them. Can't really come back from that. The puzzle, which is a map of Micronesia, is on the easy side for a challenge puzzle, so there's not much to it. So Malakal are the big winners, and Chet is the goat, and not undeservedly so. Jeff hands over immunity, and they also get the fishing stuff. So now, they have to send someone to Exile Island. These people have finally figured out what you want to do, which is send a weak person, not a strong person, because you don't hand a strong person an idol, and because handing one to a weak person can throw off the other tribe's plan.
But, aha! There is a twist! They also have to choose someone from their own tribe, who will also go with Kathy. They'll both spend the night on Exile Island, they'll both get a clue to the idol, and they'll both return tomorrow before Airai goes to tribal council. (Yes, they're waiting a whole day to go to tribal council.) Cirie is sent, and she tries to look disappointed, although I suspect that she totally is not. Jeff tells Airai that tomorrow night is tribal council, and he sends them home. And then Ozzy and Yau-Man hug, which is really kind of cute. Two very different superheroes, there.
Back from commercials, we are with Cirie and Kathy as they head to Exile Island -- Day 5, it is. They climb out of the boat when they arrive, and they head up the beach. "Yo, yo, yo," says the music. Kathy tells Cirie that she's so glad it was she who came along, and then asks what season Cirie was on again. Whoops. You don't really want to lead with, like, "You were the best female contestant ever, and I was so happy you beat Neleh!" Cirie reminds Kathy that it was Exile Island, "which [Cirie] never got to go to." But now, here she is. Kathy tells us that Cirie "grew a lot" during her own season, and is, like, the nicest person ever, so being out here with Cirie isn't exactly a rough go. Cirie prods Kathy to keep moving, so they go out and head up a little tower, where they find a clue to the idol's whereabouts: "To progress further, go back to the start. Where one has fallen, there still is a part. The thing which [sic] you covet require ascension. It's hidden inside, if you pay attention." The ladies get in the water to swim back to where they came from. Cirie voices over that she's got a nine-person tribe back at camp, and because she's smack between two four-person groups, she really feels like she wants that idol. Hey, someone who recognizes that "swing vote" is kind of a bad position to be in. When they've crossed the water, Kathy climbs up to a tree where they find another clue, which tells them to go back across and look somewhere else. They're not happy about having to slog back across the water again, but they do it. Cirie dryly interviews that this was "absolute torture." When they get back across, they find...another clue. Guess what! Back across the water. And when they get there, Cirie instructs the universe that it had better not just be another clue. But...it is. Back across! Cirie tells us, "We searched and searched," and stresses how tired they really were. The last thing we see is the two women continuing to look.
Airai, Day 5. Alexis institutes a "round of applause," despite the fact that they totally lost the challenge. Her thinking is that they "win and lose as a team." All righty, then. The team sits around and grouses about the opportunity they lost to wind up with a bunch of fishing stuff, which someone (Jason?) melodramatically refers to as "a box of gold." Erik interviews that they'll be sending home one of the three oldsters (Kathy, Tracy, or Chet) -- "probably Chet, because he did very, very poorly." Also...not Kathy, because she has an immunity idol, dude. Mikey B tells a reluctant Alexis that if what Chet showed today is all he has to show, then they can do nothing but send him home. Mikey B interviews that, while they all want to get rid of Chet, it's hard to make that happen when his ally, Kathy, has at least one and possibly two immunity idols at her disposal. So his idea is for the guys (himself, Joel, Erik, and Jason) to vote for Chet, and then for the women (Alexis, Natalie, and Mary) to vote for Tracy. The idea is that if Kathy has given an idol -- either the one she had before or one she might find in exile -- to Chet, they can do no worse than a tie between the other two people, while if they all vote for Chet, then if it bounces off Chet, it will automatically hit the person Chet, Tracy, and Kathy decide to vote for. What he's suggesting really (1) isn't that complicated, particularly for "superfans" to understand; and (2) makes a fair amount of sense, since we've seen people guard against bounceback votes before. This is one of the few times when you actually have so many votes that you can protect against an idol-induced outcome, so that's what Mikey B is suggesting: control first place and control at least a tie for second place, and you make the idol way less powerful. Makes sense! Therefore, nobody will get it! In fact, Mikey B complicates/improves his plan by saying that if Kathy publicly hands any sort of idol to Chet at tribal council, then the guys will vote for Tracy and the girls will vote for Kathy. The way he has it figured, the only way they could then get screwed is if Kathy has secretly given the idol she got on the first day to Tracy, and even then, they go to a tiebreaker.
Seriously, this is a really good plan. Mikey B has really, really thought this through. But the response of everyone else is that it's too complicated -- TOO COMPLICATED! -- and they all start to get squirrelly and nervous. Hey, that guy is doing too much thinkin'! Joel, who isn't smart enough to follow this because he was chosen for reasons other than his brain, tells us that "it confuses [him]," all this talk about these ways to guard against possible contingencies! Despite the fact that the plan Mikey B is laying out accomplishes precisely the outcome that Joel wants, Joel is still suspicious, because smarty-talk makes him frustrated. Joel says that his initial thought was to get Chet out, but now Mikey thinks he has things figured out, and Joel no likey! But what really makes Joel upset is that Mikey is taking control of laying out the plan and "having the entire tribe voting the way he wants." OH MYGOD, you moron, this is all in service of accomplishing exactly the same thing you want. This is literally, like, "This guy is better at protecting my ass than I am! He must go!"
Commercials, and then it is Day 6 at Airai. Joel is whispering secretively to Erik that Mikey is trying to run everything, and that he thinks Mikey might stab them in the back. This becomes...really funny, once you realize how sound the plan is and how it protects him specifically, since Joel would be a likely target for the other three, as the biggest guy and also the biggest jerk. Joel interviews for our information, some more, that Mikey is trying to be all in charge, so Joel has to put a stop to it. It's basically like...you're trapped in a burning building, right? And a guy comes in the window, and he's from the fire truck, and he's like, "Come on, I'm here to rescue you!" And you say, "Dude, I really think the only way I'm going to survive here is to make my way on my own. I'm just an independent-thinking kind of guy."
So anyway, now Joel is obsessed with getting rid of Mikey, or with cutting off his legs -- and by "his legs," we mean "Mary." Erik at least has the decency to admit in an interview that the reason he's behind the idea of going after Mikey is that Mikey is so smart. He does ask Joel why they should take out Mary instead of just taking out Mikey directly, and Joel says that Mikey will be more useful in challenges (a.k.a. "is a boy"), so it makes more sense to take out his hired muscle instead of the actual guy. Erik feels that. As much as an ice-cream-scooper feels anything, except maybe taster's remorse after he foolishly samples the bacon-avocado.
As Kathy is returning from Exile Island, Joel approaches Tracy and Chet and says that it's time to change things up: vote out Mary to break up the partnership between her and Mikey B. Kathy walks up the beach from the little boat that brought her back, and starts talking about how Cirie is so very, very much fun. Kathy asks what's going on, and Joel sees Mikey nearby, so he tells her not to ask questions; just vote for Mary. You can kind of tell that Kathy's like, "What's a 'Mary'?" Kathy interviews that she was pretty sure it was going to be Chet, so when they said it was Mary, she was baffled about where that idea could have originated. Tracy and Chet tell Kathy not to ask any questions. Chet says that it's like being in a pageant during the Q&A round -- just say as little as possible. I'm not sure this is how Kathy lives her life. Tracy says that she thinks Joel wants the money more than anyone, so she's suspicious of everything he does. Mary vaguely interviews that there are discussions she doesn't really understand entirely, but that he thinks the tribe needs to be "really honest with ourselves" and take it from there. Or...something. Meanwhile, Mikey reiterates the details of his plan to Alexis and some of the others, reminding them of what they have to do. Mary interviews that she's pretty sure the people in her alliance can be trusted. Oh, Mary. "Pretty sure" only counts in horseshoes. She doesn't think she's "going to be voted off any time soon." Oh, Mary. Joel says that if tonight goes the way he wants, Mary will go and Mikey will be confused. I'll say -- he tried to hand you the outcome you wanted, and you responded by freaking out. Joel babbles for a bit about how everyone would fear them if they were smart enough, but he thinks on his feet, blah blah.
Tribal council. Jeff welcomes the group, and they dip their torches. Fire is life! Jeff asks Kathy about how she got the original immunity idol, and Kathy tells the absolute truth about getting the information from Yau-Man. Jeff says that her options are to keep the idol tonight or to give it to someone else before the vote, but either way, it's only good tonight, and then it's dead. Jeff asks Chet about the difficulties he had with the challenge, and Chet says it isn't that he was exhausted when he quit; he just thought it was better to let someone else do it. Jeff -- unsatisfied and always on the prowl for the opportunity to eviscerate whomever he perceives to be a girly man -- tells Chet he's giving himself too much credit, because it took him "forever" to do anything. So Jeff insists that Chet answer the question of how it felt to have everyone grow to hate him while he floundered in the water. Chet just says that he felt he pressure, and that he'd have liked to do better, but he didn't, so what's your point, Jeff Probst? Mikey raises his hand, apparently believing that Chet hasn't been adequately picked on yet, and he adds (as Jason smugly nods) that if he couldn't swim, he should have just sat out. Of course, that assumes that Kathy swims better. Do we know that? We do not. To me, the idea that Chet knew that was going to happen and offered to swim anyway is absurd; he simply misjudged how much swimming was required, and answered the question of whether he could swim with the only answer he knew.
Jeff asks Tracy about camp life, and she outs the problems between the older and younger groups, and says you can either whine about it or you can take the situation in hand, so she did the latter. Jeff asks Natalie (who?) whether it's just a function of some people getting along and others not. Natalie says that's clearly true; some people have been "segregated," and there are two shelters, so DEAL, WRINKLIES! Jeff tells Chet that he must be pretty nervous, all things considered, when there are seven people in the other shelter and three people in his. This doesn't sound good, after all. Chet says that it does look bad, but that it's out of his hands. Jeff asks Erik if, were he Chet, he'd be concerned. "I'd be very, very concerned," Erik says somberly. Oh, quiet.
Jeff asks Mary about alliances, and she says that people go in different directions, but that she feels pretty secure in her position. Jeff asks Joel how you decide whom to vote for at this point, and for some reason, Joel uses this as an opportunity to insist that, while he has a conscience, he doesn't mind sending people home. It's better than "I target the people who are smarter than I am," I suppose. He goes on to say absolutely nothing that answers Jeff's question, but he has prepared a speech about "a game of loyalty and a game of deception," and blah bling blah.
Jeff reminds everyone that Kathy has the idol, and she says she's keeping it. Erik votes. Tracy votes. Jason votes. Kathy votes. Mikey votes for Chet, saying, "You blew it with your body, your brains, and your heart." Well, then. Natalie votes. Chet votes. Joel votes. Mary votes. Alexis votes, saying, "I just went with the majority; I'm sorry." When they return, does anyone wish to play an idol? No. First vote, Chet. Second vote, Chet. Third vote, Tracy. And then: Mary. And she's not too worried, because couldn't that be whom Kathy/Chet/Tracy voted for? And Mary again. (She squinches her eyes a little.) And then Tracy again. Mikey makes a face at Jason, who smugs back at him. That dude is really, really smug, kind of all the time. And then Mary again. And then Mikey leans back and says, "Whaaat?" I don't understand why he doesn't just think these are the Chet/Kathy/Tracy votes. He's still okay here. Only three non-plan votes, out of ten, have been cast. According to Mikey's theory, four votes are left -- two Chets and two Tracys. But he's clearly upset anyway. And then another Mary vote, and now, they know. Joel pretends to be surprised. And then Mary, so that will do it. Note: that's only eight votes read. Five for her, two for Chet, one for Tracy. Nobody else can go, so we're done here. Mikey's mouth hangs open. Joel grins like a loon. Mary is snuffed. Alexis looks miserable. Mary walks off. Jeff announces that "Mary never saw that coming." He's all excited about the "blindside," and tells Kathy to leave the idol as he sends them back to camp. Dun!
week: Cirie steps up; the fans still have a terrible shelter, and a physical challenge seems to bring out the nutbar in Joel, like that takes much work.
In her final words, Mary says that a fan will win for sure, but that she is totally stumped as to why she went home. There's no accounting for dumb, Mary. Don't beat yourself up.