Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Get A Room
By Miss Alli | Season 16 | Episode 2 | Aired on 02.13.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.This week kicks off with, among other things, the Airai tribe giving ten up top (in their heads) to Malakal for ridding the game of Jon Dalton. With that out of the way, there's a challenge in which Ozzy takes over, and you know what that means. This challenge is for both immunity and reward, meaning that Malakal takes home some fishing stuff and doesn't have to go to tribal council later. They do, however, have to send someone to Exile Island. Knowing that EI includes a shot at an idol, Malakal sends Chatty Kathy The Bug-Eyed Possible Crazypants, figuring that this stands the best chance of really annoying Airai and really helping Malakal's game. After they've picked Kathy, however, they learn that they also have to send one of their own with her. Dun! Cirie "Afraid Of Leaves And Crazy Like A Fox" Fields oh-so-reluctantly agrees to be thrown to Exile Island with Kathy, so the two women go off together. Cirie has probably the best social skills of anyone who has ever played (this is why she could befriend Shane, still appear mentally functional, and engineer the only successful 3-2-1 split vote ever), and Kathy falls goofybrains-over-heels for her instantly. The two slog through numerous clues hunting all over for this elusive immunity idol, but we never really learn whether they found it or not.
Meanwhile, back at Airai, they can't boot Kathy because of the immunity idol she picked up last week, courtesy of Yau-Man's help. Because Kathy is part of a Kathy-Tracy-Chet trio that All The Young Dudes and their Dudettes have decided they don't like, a plan is afoot to boot either Tracy or Chet. Mikey B, however, is fearful that whichever one they pick, Kathy will somehow give an immunity idol -- either the one she has or one she finds -- to that person, and the vote will bounce off, back onto whomever Kathy/Tracy/Chet vote for. So he suggests hedging their bets by splitting their votes between Tracy and Chet, so that they are at least guaranteed a tie in the event that one of those two comes up with an idol. Big Giant Creepy Joel, however, is very threatened by Mikey B coming up with this sound and sensible plan, so he decides that Mikey B should be the target. As you know, the way you go after a dude is to knock off his girlfriend, so because Mary (who? EXACTLY) is perceived as Mikey B's biggest ally, Joel gets everybody to vote off Mary. Mary! Yeah, we don't get it either.
In other news: Dear Ozzy, you don't necessarily become the best kisser by opening your mouth the widest. The sooner you realize that kissing is not an immunity challenge, the happier Amanda is going to be. I'm just saying. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on March Of The Hasn't-Beens: Ten former survivors and ten new folks lined up on the beaches of Micronesia, where everyone was happy to see Yau-Man and nobody was happy to see Jon Dalton. After the newbies showed up the old-timers in a cart-building challenge that gave Eliza the first injury of the season, it looked like she might be on the way home. But then Dalton started whining about going home to see his future baby, who apparently was ousted earlier and is...waiting in sequester? It seemed like maybe this was part of some complicated scheme that would eventually involve a phony pregnancy or Dalton's girlfriend turning out to be pregnant with his grandmother or something, but in the end, everybody was like, "Hey, you want to go home? Okay!" And Dalton went home, and it was really anticlimactic, and...here we are. Oh, and Parvati decided that she would go beyond flirting as her strategy to extreme flirting. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, it turns out, is in the tub.
Malakal, Night 3, night-vision return from tribal council. Someone mentions that Ozzy has caught the fish he is carrying with his bare hands. The legend of Ozzy, it never rests. "Yes, guys, we lost Fairplay, but we did gain a fish," Ozzy intones. Even trade, I guess, stink-wise. (Sorry, I know that joke is like picking up a dollar on the sidewalk, but...don't you pick up a dollar if you see one? I'm saying.) Eliza interviews that she thought, when they went off to get rid of Jon, something was going to happen that was all sneaky, but nothing did. So at least it wasn't she who left. Jonathan takes a shot at explaining it as he chats with the group, saying that there was "too much going on for" Dalton in spite of the fact that he "seemed to be holding it together." And by "it," he means "his ruptured soul." Jonathan interviews that it wasn't good that this happened, because it disrupted the plan he was trying to hatch, but he goes on to say that if they can "do what [they're] doing," their extensive experience should allow them to beat the other tribe at almost anything. In other words: "We are hoping for an Ozzy-friendly challenge very soon."
Credits. I think Natalie is a fetal Tracy.
We return to Airai on Day 4, where they're all talking about all the work that still needs to get done. They haven't yet gotten their shelter in order, these folks, and they're getting nervous. As Alexis explains, things are not good, but they do have flint, so they should be able to come up with a fire and get themselves some boiled water to drink. As a bunch of other people look on, Alexis quickly gets a flame going, but it goes out very quickly, apparently as a result of not enough kindling nearby. So the boys move in and take over, and they proceed to get no fire at all. A shot of the sun overhead indicates that time is passing, the sun is slowly burning out, and so forth. Kathy, Chet, and Tracy are having a powwow about the fact that a significant portion of the flint has now been wasted, and they don't even have a fire going. Kathy interviews that they have to get the shelter fixed, because -- and she gets all teary again -- she needs a more comfortable place to sleep. Kathy talks to the tribe about how she really needs a place to sleep, and somebody (probably Joel) barks at her, "If you want someplace to sleep, do something!"
It appears as though everyone has his or her eye on a little piece of cave, but when Kathy and Tracy get to it, Jason announces that it's his, and they can't have it. He then bitches in an interview that Kathy and Tracy haven't done anything productive at all. Like, for instance, fruitlessly wasting half the flint, which produces something, if only destruction and a dead weight loss. "I told them straight up, I don't want you sleeping in the cave," Jason tells us proudly, apparently so convinced that people will dislike Kathy as an individual that they will overlook the selfishness involved in refusing to "allow" another person in a group to sleep somewhere clean and dry, on the theory that You Are Boss. Tracy tells Kathy that "these kids" obviously hate them, so there's absolutely no point in arguing with them. Kathy says that she and Chet and Tracy have been "shunned" by the rest of their tribe: "You can't fight seven against three." She also tells us that it causes you to relive high school and not fitting in, and then, woop-woop-woop, the sirens go off, because if you're going to relive high school on this show, it's going to break you. The first person to feel stuffed in a locker is the first person to go bazoo.