The tribes don't merge this week, but they do reshuffle, and the new Moto -- delightfully -- includes Michelle, Yau Man, and Earl, who are the only remotely likable members of Ravu. They wind up with Stacy, Cassandra, and Boo, meaning that tribe is 3-3 women/men. Over at Ravu, however, it's all boys: Edgardo, Alex, Dreamz, Anthony, Mookie, and Rocky. Lisi heads to Exile Island. The dynamic quickly emerges that Boo is sort of the odd idiot out at Moto, while Anthony is lost in the shuffle of buff dudes (and delusional "buff" "dudes") over at Ravu. It's nice to see Earl, Michelle, and Yau Man finally get some food, although it turns out that Rocky, Anthony, and Mookie also get food. To some degree, the Ravu people suck in addition to their conditions, at least once you factor in the starvation, because when the Moto guys get there, they help track down some fish, so there's not so much starving. The immunity challenge has the teams making their way through a very uncomfortable maze, and Moto -- the new Moto -- takes the prize, which probably saves Boo from being booted. At Ravu, it seems like the boys of Moto have very little patience for Rocky and his constant "he's a giiiiiirl" slams at Anthony, but they can't quite pull it together in time. So Anthony does indeed go home, although, in the process, Rocky makes such a colossal jackass out of himself that it seems like his departure must be close at hand, which is a good thing. Because at this point? If he doesn't get voted off soon, I'm going to start fast-forwarding when he's talking.
Previously on Sumo Wrestling And Other Fair Fights For The Starved And Nearly Starved: the teams squared off in a wrestling challenge, and "Dreamz" knocked Rocky over like he was a ketchup bottle at a diner. The only Ravu member to win his match was Yau Man, so things just kept getting worse at Ouch Camp. Over at Couch Camp, Alex realized that his alliance was made up of idiots, for the most part, because Stacy and Lisi just couldn't stop being horrible to Cassandra and "Dreamz," in spite of the fact that Alex could prove to them, with finger-counting or one-potato-two-potato or whatever they preferred, that this was a bad idea. Ravu turned out to be just as weakened in memory challenges as in physical challenges, so they lost immunity again. The desire to get rid of all the women continued to be the primary driver, as Rita was sent home for the sin of talking too much. Rocky led the charge to throw her out for being too chatty, at which point the universe exploded in a single, beautiful burst of irony.
A lone, fly-covered coconut sits at Ouch Camp on Day 15. Michelle stirs and moves her buff down over her face. Earl marvels at the outbreak of flies they're currently experiencing. The flies marvel at the lack of food available at Ravu. Mookie swats a fly on the back of a semi-sleeping Rocky, who raises his head long enough to mutter menacingly about what he's going to do if Mookie hits him again. I would like to see him try at this point. Seriously. The state he's in, he couldn't bully a nine-year-old clarinet player. Yau Man tells us that he's pretty surprised still to be here on Day 15, and that he thinks he was lucky to squeak by after biffing the memory challenge last week. He tells us that he's not a strong guy, so if it's about "who's the most dispensable," he's going to be a candidate for booting. Hmm, "dispensable." One of those words that's rarely used without its negating prefix, but that turns out to be an actual word. Unlike "ept," which, tragically, is not a word, except to me and my best friend from college.
Giant dried-up jaws on the beach.
Anthony and Michelle go to retrieve treemail, which is actually basket-mail this season. They remove a note that reads, "Today no brawn required. Some brain-teasing at the least. When it's over, one gets exiled, while others get to feast." Nice to see that the same poet laureate is still on clue detail. Anthony says in an interview that they're very happy about the treemail, for the simple reason that it seems to involve eating. They love eating! Or they love what they remember of eating.
In a most unusual pre-credits development, Jeff Probst is already in a little challenge clearing, bringing in the tribes. He asks for one person from each tribe to step forward, and he's given Edgardo and Earl. And then Jeff tells everyone else to drop their buffs, because the tribes are being scrambled. Dun-dun-duuuuun! I don't know how unusual the arrangements of tribe members are going to get, but I sort of hope that this means Lisi and Stacy will wind up on a tribe with a hungry tiger.
Credits. "Yaaaaaah!"
When we return, Jeff says what we already know, which is that the old tribes of Ravu and Moto are officially dissolved. Earl and Edgardo will start the picking of new tribes, and then each person they pick will pick the person. Everyone has to choose someone from the other tribe, meaning that the new tribes should wind up roughly evenly divided between old Ravu and old Moto. And the last person, Jeff says, "will not be selected on either tribe." He does not discuss this person's fate further, but I say we throw her into a volcano. (Spoiler!) Edgardo has the first pick, and from all of Ravu, he chooses Mookie. Earl takes Boo. Mookie takes Alex. Boo takes Michelle -- over Rocky, you'll notice. Alex immediately takes Rocky. "They're lookin' strong," Boo mutters unhappily of the Mookie/Alex/Edgardo/Rocky squad. Michelle chooses Cassandra -- over "Dreamz," you'll notice (not to mention over the perhaps more classically athletic-looking Stacy). So that's twice that people on this tribe have passed up strong young dudes in favor of women who at least appear physically weaker. It makes you think perhaps neither Rocky nor "Dreamz" has made himself popular with the group. Rocky takes "Dreamz," and Jeff explains that this is such an act of unexpected diplomacy that you should almost expect peace to break out around the world. Because last week, theywrestled, and now they're friends. Get it? So now, that team has five young, buff dudes, including two guys who hate each other. It's the core of every high school football team. Cassandra takes Yau Man over Anthony, and I have to say...that's gotta hurt. I don't know what that's based on, but the older, smaller guy getting picked over the younger, more substantial guy is...it indicates something about the way Anthony is being perceived, even by people not on his tribe. "Dreamz," left with no choice, picks poor Anthony, who I think is now living out every bad thing that ever happened to him in Gym. I'm not even there, and I'm reliving things that happened to me in Gym. So that tribe has only men on it: Edgardo, Rocky, Mookie, Alex, "Dreamz," and Anthony. Yau Man picks between Stacy and Lisi, and how nice is it to see those two unpleasant characters left standing at the end? Looks good on you, you pair of walking nastygrams. Yau Man chooses Stacy, because at least she doesn't have that laugh (I'm guessing).
So. Lisi is the "odd person out," but Jeff immediately explains that she's still in the game. "Aw, jeez," she says. She laughs her ant-hammer laugh. Jeff asks if she was worried, and she suggests that, on the contrary, she thought it might be "a good time to exit." Jeff points out that she just told her tribe she didn't mind being booted. She says no, she's just saying that part of her just wanted to wish them well and bail. She has people at home to treat like shit, of course, and they probably miss her. She is, however, going to Exile Island, where she will become one with the snakes. Hammer that, bitch. Jeff tells her maybe the time alone will clear her head and make her not act like such a crybaby quitter. How much of a wimp do you have to be to bitch about wanting to go home when you've spent the first two weeks at Couch Camp? Can you imagine how quickly she would have wanted to quit if she'd been playing real Survivor? I guess she's never done anything incredibly strenuous, like...go camping. Seriously, she was practically allowed to live at the REI store, so what's she complaining about? At any rate, Jeff says that Lisi does have an advantage in that she won't go to tribal council, no matter what, because she's skipping it. She'll join whichever tribe votes someone off, and she'll have a clue to the hidden idol. She waves halfheartedly and heads off to the island, convinced that someone here is going to feel sorry for her, on account of the fact that she's about to spend her first night of discomfort since the season started.
Jeff says all that's left now is to decide who lives at Couch Camp and who lives at Ouch Camp. As you can imagine, this question draws a great deal of interest. Edgardo and Earl are pulled out of line again, and they're told to rock-paper-scissors it for who gets to pull one of two buffs out of a bag. If whoever it is pulls the green buff, he'll go to Couch Camp. Pull the orange buff, he'll go to Ouch Camp. Edgardo's paper covers Earl's rock, so Edgardo gets to pick. The stakes are these: if he picks green, then he and All The Young Dudes are taking Couch Camp, and Yau Man, Michelle, and Earl are going back to Ouch Camp, leaving the rest of us only the satisfaction of knowing that Stacy and Boo will go with them. Do you know what outcome you're rooting for? I do. And Edgardo pulls...orange! Ha ha ha! The dancing begins at new Moto, as well as in my living room. And Rocky? Oh, Rocky's going back to Ouch. No hammock for you, Boston Knob (tm my pal JWB). Jeff says that both tribes will get a "housewarming gift" back at camp, meaning that even Ouch Camp is going to be made less Ouchy. He also reminds them that if you've been to Exile Island, the clues are "still in play." Edgardo pulls the Ravu flag out of the ground, and the newly constituted tribes head home.
When we come back from commercials, Lisi is on Exile Island, still on Day 15. Awesome. Order up some more ants! She pulls out the idol clue page and reads off all the clues that lead to the idol being buried right at the throat of the cave. "Yeah, whatever," she says. She puts the clue back. Apparently...not so interested in a free shot at immunity? She interviews that she "pretty much had a fit" over the reshuffle of the teams, as if you didn't notice. She explains that her "comfort zone was yanked." And if you've ever had your comfort zone yanked, you know how painful that can be. Lisi admits that she was momentarily just as happy to go home, and not that happy to go to exile. With the snakes. And the lack of attention. And the having nobody to push around. She says she wishes she'd let it all settle, but she's "an abrasive character," and she can't change, and she's keeping it real, and she's true to herself, and blah dee blah, more readings from Hi, I'm A Reality Show Person And My Jerkweedism Is What Makes Me Colorful, by Puck. "You either take me, or you put me on Exile Island!" Lisi concludes. And then she cackles. And I look for the catch, because I am more than happy to take that deal.
Couch Camp! Little froggy things! (I know! I know! Don't email me!) Resort music! Okay, at least this part will be good. Earl runs toward the bed. "Don't get in the bed dirty," Stacy commands, as if this is more her camp than Earl's camp, which it isn't, Stacy. Fortunately, Earl pays no attention and lounges all over the damn bed, just as God intended, because it is a bed, and it is Survivor, and if you can't live with dirt, go be on some show about competitive showering. (Oh, you know there will be one eventually.) "Life at Team Moto is better than ridiculous -- it's ridonkulous," Earl offers in an interview. In bed, he sits up and calls to the waiter for breakfast. Heh. After interviewing, "Nothing...everything...nothing...everything," he says, "I think I'll go with 'everything.'" There's a plate of food, which is the first really good food that the ex-Ravu folk have had, and it even looks like Boo is encouraging them to eat first. Earl tells us that in a while, he'll be figuring out the situation with the idol, mentioning that he and Yau Man are the only ones who know where it is. He says that nobody else is likely to find it, considering that they don't even know it's in camp. The tribe opens some champagne to make mimosas.
Aaaand...Ouch Camp! Here comes Team Dude, ready to take a big swig of Schadenfreude Cocktail, courtesy of Rocky. They do have a basket of food as well, so these guys are not going to experience the actual Ravu lifestyle. Edgardo tries for a pep talk, saying that they may have the bad camp, but that they'll be way better in challenges. They all put their hands in and give themselves a cheer. "Ravu men!" they cheer. "Ravu men!" It turns out that they have fishing gear also, so...once again, this is only semi-Ouch now. In an interview, Alex says that he had a strong alliance with Boo, Stacy, and Lisi (he doesn't, interestingly, mention Edgardo), but that "the girls were difficult to predict," and he wasn't sure about Boo, so this is actually fine. All dudes! No ladies! Better that way! Chicks is crazy! Alex gives the tribe a speech about how he's "glad that there are no women here." Harder to get arrested, for one thing. He talks about how, with women, it's all politics, it's such a pain...come to think of it, that's probably why past winners like Yul stayed away from alliances with women.
Anthony squirms a bit as all the guys prattle on about how funny it is that all the people voted off have been women and so forth. Edgardo just wants to bitch more about the long-departed Sylvia. Is that really necessary? I mean...she's gone. She's off doing architectural things, she's not going to be on the jury, she's not standing between you and a million dollars...maybe find something else to talk about. Here, Rocky cements his place in history by saying he's just happy to be with "the boys," immediately pointing out that it's "no offense." And then he uncorks this: "I love women, I love 'em. I love to touch 'em and make out, and have conversations with 'em, get along with 'em. But you know, in this type of environment, this type of game, you don't need any stupid, like, girl stories. Or distractions. Or any stupid things like that." Wow. I think he has just set a world record for heterosexuality. He really does love women. It's always the ones who tell you how much they love the ladies who love the ladies the most. Because nothing says "I love the ladies" like endless repetitions of "I love the ladies." In fact, if you are a man and you read this paragraph out loud, you will be 50% more heterosexual than you are right now. Just a piece of trivia. Alex follows up with a quote from The Count Of Monte Cristo, but I totally don't care enough to transcribe it. The quote might as well be "I am a huge dork," because that is the information it imparts. He is a dork, as well as a wad of various sorts. They talk about speaking this quote before challenges, and then somebody says they "won't get laid for a freaking year." That part I agree with, but it's too bad that they're going to blame the quote, which is innocent.
Team Dude decides to get a fire started, and then go out fishing and crabbing. Rocky says that maybe they can "have Anthony get the fire going" while the rest of them go fishing. Anthony nods knowingly, and a little wryly. Ants swarm all over stuff. As the rest of the guys go fishing, Anthony voices over that, indeed, this is like the first day of Gym class where you're the only nerd there, and you don't really even want to take your shirt off if you don't have to. "I'm a nerd," he says. "I know this. I'm a nerd, I'm a geek, I'm a dweeb, whatever the hell you want to call it." He goes on to say that he's not quite a comfortable fit on the "burly man team." It's weird for me to contemplate how many of my male friends would not fit in on the burly man team, despite the fact that there's nothing wrong with any of them. I think this is something Anthony needs to not worry about. "I'm so screwed right now," he laughs. What's great to see about this is that Anthony sort of wept that one time, talking about being beaten down and so forth, and I think he's reached a wonderful point of don't-care-ness, and that's going to serve him very well as he goes on, both here and in his life.
Couch Camp. Still Day 16. A bat hangs around, happy to see some different people, and particularly happy that Lisi isn't there. As Earl and Yau Man work on fishing lines together, Boo explains that the switch-up was kind of hard on his plan. Just one of the many reasons it was such good news to me, of course. He says he was "counting [his] million" until the tribes got switched, which...frankly, I think was premature anyway. Things might still work out, blah blah. Earl suggests to the rest of his tribe that they have some fish and potatoes and rice with coffee for breakfast. You can tell he's excited about this, since a day or two ago, a "balanced meal" meant chewing one snail on each side of his mouth. Earl says that new Moto is made up of three ex-Moto and three ex-Ravu. And he's well aware that this unsettles Boo. Yay! Earl knows that the ex-Moto will be looking for a "swing vote." "But everything's going to have to go through me," he says simply. "Everything." He and Yau Man go fishing. As the two fish, Cassandra joins them with coffee. Cassandra beams as she interviews that everything is entirely different now. She was on the outs before; she's good now. She specifically says that she likes Earl and Yau Man. She's planning to "see how the cards fold [sic]."
Yau Man asks Cassandra whether Boo is feeling the anxiety. She says he must be, given all the allies he just lost. "You could be a swing vote," Earl tells her. "I know," she says happily. "You could change everything," he says. "Oh, I know," she says, even more happily. This has already occurred to her. She hasn't forgotten about Stacy, and the attitude that led to Stacy's little declaration that they're all adults. "Boo could be gone," Earl says. "I know," Cassandra grins. Earl points out in an interview that, with the right nudges, Cassandra could be with him. He says that he has Yau Man with him, and Michelle with him, and that they're both team players, so with one more vote, he's going to be the one in the driver's seat, and he's not afraid to say so. I, of course, am highly afraid, because this is always the part where someone I like gets cocky, and then bad things start to happen, and then Jenna Morasca wins, and then I want to crawl into bed for a month.
When we return from another set of commercials, we're at Ravu on Day 16. Anthony explains that he's in a tough spot, because he's taken Yau Man's place as the keeper of fire and water. He doesn't feel like he has a single person he can actually trust, which is...probably astute, unfortunately. It's true that Anthony is without a natural ally on this team, which...I think speaks well of his character, but not his chances of remaining in the game. For the moment, he's stuck back at camp while all the Big Men go out fishing. "Cookie's still here at the campfire," he says. Heh.
Speaking of the big men, they're chasing crabs out of crevasses and stomping them. Alex says that the former Ravu men needed to be inspired, blah blah, true competitors, blah blah, not just about the food, blah blah. Alex asks Rocky how Anthony's doing, and Rocky gives his usual "He's fine, except for the part where he's such a girl" answer. I'm not sure why Rocky feels the need to respond to a "how's he holding up?" question with "he's a little effeminate," but there you go. He goes on to defensively say he's not saying there's anything wrong with being effeminate (sure!); it's just "hard for [Anthony] to carry his own weight." You know, like it is with women. I know I'm always embarrassed when I ask boys to carry stuff for me, which I frequently do.
Mookie and "Dreamz" share a little fishing, and "Dreamz" asks which three people Mookie would have taken to the merge, had it come to that. Elsewhere, Alex tells us that he knew that with a 3-3 split of former tribes, he needed to bring over somebody from ex-Ravu, presumably to get rid of the other two people from ex-Ravu. Now, it seems to me that the obvious logical move is to try to get Anthony, who is so obviously alienated from Rocky and Mookie that he would happily take the opportunity to "turn on" them, as if he ever had any allegiance to them in the first place. But of course, Alex is as allergic to effeminate girly-men as Rocky, I guess, because he dismisses Anthony as not a "strong player" (as if allies for the purposes of voting really need to be), so given Rocky's general insanity, Alex's target is Mookie. Alex joins in the discussion between Mookie and "Dreamz," asking Mookie this: "What do you think about...via...me, you, Ed, 'Dreamz'?" Nice use of "via," Literature Guy. Mookie agrees. Mookie admits that he was previously with Rocky for lack of a better option, but he seems unconcerned about ending that little entanglement. They all agree that Anthony should go . "He's just so weak," Mookie says. "He...he has no backbone."
And this is about where I realize that this is a part of a certain kind of Guy Culture -- not all guys, by any stretch, but a certain kind of guy -- that I just don't relate to. Mookie clearly subscribes to the theory that if you have a bully who's picking on another guy and the other guy doesn't stand up for himself enough, then you respect the bully more than -- or certainly at least as much as -- the guy who's not standing up for himself. It strikes me as utterly insane, but it's more than obviously the ethic that Mookie, and maybe the rest of these guys, are embracing -- Rocky more explicitly, and the rest of them more silently. "Rocky called him out and he almost cried," Mookie says with disgust. So with that, Anthony has been dismissed. Because he "almost cried." And God knows, we can't have that.
Mookie and "Dreamz" catch a big fish with a big mouth, which makes a good symbol for the tribe right about now. When they return to the group, everybody is all excited about the fish, and Mookie interviews that returning to Ouch Camp hasn't been as bad as he thought, now that they have the capacity to catch fish: "These guys...they brought life, new life to Ravu." How inspiring, the way jackholes make each other happy. Rocky interviews that the fish-catching was wonderful: "Big, huge fish. With teeth." He adds, "It's over. It is over. The bad times are about to go." They all give another team cheer, because it is so totally obvious that they are going to win all the challenges. Totally obvious! "Right now, on paper, we're a superpower," says Rocky.
And now, it's time for the challenge. This is, of course, for immunity. Jeff brings in the tribes, and takes immunity back from Moto. The challenge is meant to challenge communication skills. Jeff says that each tribe will be belted to what he calls a "six-point sliding hub." What this means is that there are three long poles tied together in the middle so that they form a sort of six-pointed star pattern, and they're tied such that they can slide, so you can make one end of a particular pole long and one end short, you know? And each point has a person attached to it, so, for instance, one person can push in toward the center and the person on the opposite end of the same pole would walk backwards, right? Are you getting this? The entire group, all attached to this big "hub," will have to move through a field of poles, passing through several "gates." On top of that, the paths the tribes have to take through the gates cross over each other several times, so the tribes will presumably collide, if they go at about the same speed. First tribe with everybody across the finish line wins immunity. It's a really complex challenge, and although it incorporates some of the same skills as always, including spatial reasoning and cooperation and remaining calm, it demonstrates the innovative way that the challenge producers continue to come up with new kinds of puzzles, even in the fourteenth season, when you have to figure there have probably been...what, at least 350 challenges? Sure, there are repeats, but still.
At any rate, Jeff sets the teams up and waits for them to get in their hubs. Ready...go! The teams start out at similar speeds, and when they cross over, Michelle winds up tangled in not only her own team's hub, but in Ravu's as well. Basically, the challenge isn't hard, but you have to be methodical and logical. Ravu takes the first notable lead. Cleverly, at one point -- apparently with encouragement from Stacy (ew) -- Michelle hops over a Ravu pole, so she's even more tied up with them and they can't get around her. The hubs get completely locked up here, and for a bit, nobody can move, but Moto manages to free itself, so now they're all on the move again. What's surprising about this is that, perhaps out of sheer motivation not to get booted, the person who seems to be directing Moto is Boo, believe it or not. And he's doing a decent job of it, I will admit, as much as I am not a Boo booster. There are moments here where I'm a little concerned about the screaming when people have ends of poles directly into their abdomens, and when other people are exerting enormous force on those poles. Everybody manages to untangle, though, and Ravu gets moving again. The fifth gate involves a really tight squeeze, so that presents a new challenge. Particularly to Boo's pants, which are now giving up his butt crack. Nice. The challenge remains really close as the teams get close to the finish line. Team Woman-Hating versus Team With Women On It! And then suddenly, there is a push, and Moto stumbles across the finish line, taking immunity. Yay! "That's the way to hold it together, team!" says Boo. I'll give him credit -- he's trying like hell to get a foothold in this new tribe, as insincere as it all probably is. He's got to be the MVP of that challenge, so I give him that, too. He's kind of clueless, but I'm not sure he's as mean as, say, Stacy or Lisi. The men of Team Dude do not look happy. Particularly Anthony, for obvious reasons of the "uh-oh" variety. Jeff sends everybody back to camp, and Ravu will have to send Anthony -- I mean "somebody" -- home. Seriously, is this not the least suspenseful elimination of all time? As Moto leaves for camp, Yau Man notes with wonder, "I've got strength now to carry the flag!" Hee.
Back from commercials, it's time for Ravu to burn a few minutes pretending that there's any question regarding whom they're going to get rid of. Weirdly Little House On The Prairie-seeming music plays as Anthony sits around talking about how they lost another challenge, and "Cookie" has once again been left to deal with the fire. He explains all of this in his best old-man-with-no-teeth voice, which is pretty funny. "So I'm a little bit in panic mode right now," he adds, as appealing as he's ever been. "Cinderella," he says to himself as he sharpens the machete. "Black male Cinderella." I could totally buy Rocky as wicked stepmother. Or I could, if he weren't so fundamentally shot through with maleness to the core of his being, such that he pulsates with testosterone. Anthony calmly explains to the camera that he's quite concerned about being voted off. As, obviously, he should be.
Out in the water, Rocky is telling Edgardo that he doesn't understand how Anthony lasted so long when, for instance, Jessica and Erica were so much better. Well...maybe because...you did nothing to help Jessica, and you voted for Erica? I mean, if you want to know, ask "your boy" Mookie. Furthermore, Jessica lasted about two days, so you have no idea what kind of a player she would have been, and don't front. And finally, Rocky, stop calling Anthony "kid" and "boy," because you're twenty-eight and he's thirty-two. You don't want to give anybody the wrong idea.
Anthony has a chat with "Dreamz" in which he acknowledges that Rocky and Mookie will want to boot him. "Dreamz" says that he'll try to "keep it Rock," meaning that he'll try to get the boot placed on Rocky's ass. Don't I wish. "Dreamz" interviews that it's going to be either Anthony or Rocky. "Dreamz" would like to get rid of Rocky, on account of his being both nutty and lazy, meaning that he doesn't do anything other than cause crap. Anthony, on the other hand, does plenty around camp, but is weak in challenges. Do you want to win, or do you want to be able to drink water when you lose? These are the questions plaguing Ravu.
Anthony talks to Alex, who doesn't want to commit, but admits that his vote is going to be for either Anthony or Rocky. Anthony tells Alex that Rocky's emotional "heart" sometimes causes him to flip out. Alex acknowledges that this is true enough. Back at the fire, Mookie accidentally steps on a coal in his bare feet. Somehow, Rocky winds up mad at Mookie, who is a little mad in return over being bitched at while nursing his burned foot. Alex and Edgardo are standing around with Alex while this is happening, and they ask whether those two fight a lot. Anthony smiles, and basically says that as long as you keep Rocky happy, he's okay, but otherwise...watch out. "Does he get cranky?" Alex asks. Anthony grins and looks down at his hands, and says, "Yeah." Edgardo interviews that "Rocky has a few screws loose." He's bossy, he hollers...you know the drill. Edgardo also complains that "Anthony's his little bitch," because Rocky constantly yells at Anthony to do things. Edgardo basically says that he would never be Rocky's friend, ever, and doesn't like him, although he manages to say it in a sort of management-consultant kind of way. He adds that he wouldn't want Rocky there post-merge, because Rocky will only cause problems.
Edgardo goes with Anthony to get firewood, explaining that Alex isn't sure what to do, because of Rocky. Anthony gently pushes the idea that "Rocky's really volatile." Edgardo tells him plainly that the vote is "50-50" Anthony or Rocky.
Back at camp, Rocky is whining about how Anthony is probably...whining. "We've been here seventeen days, bro. How about thank you and see you later, you know?" says Rocky, anticipating that people are going to jump in and agree with him, and clearly surprised when he hears nothing. He keeps going in his mock address to Anthony: "Did an all right job, and just go!" Rocky gives a snotty interview about how he's not going to miss Anthony, and it's one of those moments where the only satisfying thing about it is that while Rocky will probably survive this week, he's blissfully ignorant about the peril he's in, and has no ability to recognize that he's well past done for, even if he manages to win this skirmish. What Rocky lacks in class, he makes up for in failure to appreciate irony, you might say. Hilariously, Rocky interviews that Anthony has no "social skills." The funny thing is, Anthony has no social skills of the kind you need in Survivor. I suspect Anthony's social skills are okay elsewhere, with the exception of, indeed, general nerd-ness that many of us do not consider fatal. He needs to be around other nerds. Rocky goes on to say that when Anthony tries to do anything to help himself, "he has to go around like, no offense, like a girl, like a little female -- '[whimpering sound]' -- and try to work on your sympathy." Oh, boy.
Tribal council. Jeff asks Edgardo for his first impressions of Ravu. Edgardo says that he anticipated it would be bad -- you know, like regular Survivor. Jeff asks Mookie about getting back into the routine after the immunity challenge, and Mookie talks about how they all did their part either fishing or, in Anthony's case, taking care of the fire. Jeff asks Anthony whether it freaked him out to be isolated from the tribe, boiling water when they're all presumably talking about what to do at tribal council. Anthony says that he was, of course, concerned, but that he did the job they asked him to do.
Rocky decides that this is the time for him to start lecturing, so he turns halfway around and starts telling Anthony "put your cahds on the table" and "put your foot down," taking the delightful bully approach of being like, "It's your fault you let me push you around." Rocky basically says that nobody would have known Anthony didn't want to do the fire if Anthony didn't tell them. Which is stupid. Rocky starts telling Anthony that maybe he can use this wisdom "later in life." Anthony looks incredulous.
Jeff says, "Pretty candid advice." And then he piles on, asking Anthony why he doesn't speak up. Essentially, it's "you are at fault for letting people bully you." Which...I understand thinking that Anthony could handle this better than he is, but I don't understand why Jeff is lecturing Anthony about being a wuss instead of lecturing Rocky for being a condescending bully. Anthony talks about how he tried to speak up early, and generally got pounded on, so he learned to keep quiet. Of course, this sets Rocky off once again, and he starts bleating at Anthony that he has to speak up, and so forth. "Why are you hitting yourself?" is kind of the message. Rocky tells Anthony that he is offering "a life lesson." Wow. Very valuable.
Anthony does step up, at this point, long enough to inform Rocky that the only person who treats him like shit is Rocky, so there's nobody else for Anthony to really stand up to. Rocky has no answer for this, so he goes into a spin about how Rocky doesn't respect himself and has to be comfortable with himself first. I don't get how that's an answer to the statement, basically, that Anthony is okay with his treatment from everyone but Rocky. If Anthony were saying everyone is mean to him, then maybe "respect yourself first" is an answer, but "everyone is perfectly fine except for you" would seem not well suited to that argument.
The genius part is where Rocky once again tells Anthony he has "poor social skills," at which point you can tell that Anthony is glad there's a camera on, because he knows he won't believe this later otherwise. He'd think he hallucinated it during an episode involving bad fish. When Rocky starts loudly lecturing Anthony some more, and Anthony says that Rocky doesn't know anything about him, Rocky complains that Anthony never told him anything. Anthony asks whether Rocky ever asked, and Rocky -- who is rapidly becoming almost enough of a buffoon to be funny, but not quite -- tells Anthony not to raise his voice.
And then, once again, Rocky makes a reference to people who talk "like men," and Anthony points out that this is Rocky's favorite argument. Rocky tells Anthony he's a "jellyfish," and tells him to "toughen up," and once again calls him "a little girl": "You're effeminant [sic]." Rocky keeps on saying "toughen up," because every time he says it, his dick grows one half-centimeter. When Anthony points out that Rocky's bullshit is why he doesn't bother trying to argue, Rocky goes back to lecturing him that he needs to stick up for himself and "take the skirt off a little bit." Anthony looks over at Jeff like "Tell me you're hearing all of this."
Rather than making a move to challenge Rocky on this line of misogynist shit, Jeff asks Alex why he looks so miserable, and Alex says that Rocky was just delivering some "tough love." Boy, Alex is walking right into the arrest joke, but I'm going to leave it. Suffice it to say that there's nothing either tough or loving about what Rocky just did. Bullies are cowards, and Rocky is both. Alex thinks that Rocky "might have hurt Anthony's feelings." I'm...not really sure that Rocky hurts Anthony's feelings anymore. I think Anthony has pretty much written Rocky off as a freakazoid, as have many of the rest of us.
Jeff tells Anthony that Rocky could have just been nice to Anthony and then voted him off, apparently suggesting...that Rocky has done something courageous here? I hate it when Jeff doesn't understand what the dynamic is. Anthony tells Jeff that he appreciates being reminded to stand up for himself, but that he doesn't so much appreciate being called names. Jeff asks Anthony if he wants to be in the game, and Anthony says that of course he does. He tries to get all forceful here, talking about how he's been holding back in the interests of team unity, and it's kind of not very believable. I think I like his real reason better, which is that Anthony honestly doesn't like dealing with jerks, because he knows that you never really win, they always win, so why torture yourself? Anthony says that if he has to be a dick to stay in the game, not that this makes any sense to him, then that's fine, and he's happy to do it. Rocky mimes shooting himself in the head, because Anthony is really, truly damned if he does, damned if he doesn't when it comes to Rocky. Anthony tries to advocate for himself, in spite of the fact that, at tribal council, it is almost always too late.
Now, it's time to vote. Mookie votes. Anthony votes for Rocky. Edgardo votes. "Dreamz" votes. Rocky votes for Anthony, hoping that he will use his experiences as a lesson and learn something from all this. Shut up so hard, Rocky. Alex votes. Jeff tallies the votes, and he reads them, and of course, aside from Anthony's vote, they're all for Anthony. Because sometimes people get their shit together in time, and sometimes they don't. Anthony takes it a lot better than Rocky would have if it had been him. Snuff! Jeff reminds the tribe that Lisi will be joining them tomorrow. Ha ha ha! They head back to camp, undoubtedly to await her return eagerly.
In his closing remarks, Anthony says that he's "pissed off," and that he's not the problem with the tribe, and that they're going to keep losing as long as they keep Rocky and Mookie. Heh. The funny thing about what Rocky said to Anthony is that I think Anthony actually did learn from this, and what he learned was that you don't go off and pout and mope when people are all turning on you. You do the best you can, you keep your sense of humor, and you don't let people make you feel bad, and you accept that it's a game. Which is what Anthony did here.