So! The tribes merge with nine people left, leaving Aitu in a highly unfavorable position, now that they can't protect themselves just by winning a challenge. They immediately target good old Jonathan as the most likely to flip, and it's good timing, because he's frankly sick and tired of the suck-ass people on his lame tribe, none of whom seem interested in lifting a finger to feed themselves, let alone do anything else productive. Yul approaches Jonathan about a possible flip, and Jonathan tells him that he doesn't see how he could expect to be treated well if he changed sides again. He does, however, express some interest in flipping if Yul has the idol. Yul says that they can talk later. At the immunity challenge, the men of Raro are made to look like real wimps by Yul and especially Ozzy, the latter of whom ultimately clings to the pole longer than anyone and, critically, wins immunity. Because Ozzy wins immunity, former Raro decides to vote for Yul. After additional consultation with the Aitu-ites, Yul tells Jonathan that, indeed, he has the idol. Jonathan isn't sure what to do now, because if Raro insists on voting for Yul, Jonathan himself may go home if Aitu picks him as its target. Jonathan suggests to Raro that perhaps Yul has the idol, although he chooses not to just tell them, which is an interesting choice. Adam, backed up by others in the group, flat-out declares that Yul couldn't possibly have the idol, so they're not having any of what Jonathan is trying to say. Jonathan comes up with a solution to his conflicted feelings about voting off Adam (as Aitu would like) after Adam "helped" keep him alive at Raro: he wants to vote out Nate. This is perfectly okay with Aitu, and at tribal council, Nate is 100% blindsided as he takes the fall. He gives a truly appalling final speech in which he cannot believe that Jonathan flipped on him when all he was trying to do was flip on Jonathan first. This season has become magically delicious, to be sure, and I can barely even bring myself to hope that there might now be a rapid knocking off of all the assholes in favor of a final four or five made up entirely of people I actively like.
Previously on Last Team Standing Is A Rotten...Never Mind: Candice and Adam canoodled clumsily at Raro. Little Aitu won the reward challenge and went to a fabulous feast that included dirty dancing, and Big Raro just pouted. Candice went into Exile, and she didn't like being on the other side of the hazing one bit. At the immunity challenge, Raro lost once again, and they had to go to tribal council toting a mysterious message in a bottle. After they fairly easily dumped designated challenge liability Rebecca, they opened the bottle and discovered that they had to get rid of somebody else, too. Fearing that she was going to undermine the "original Raro" plan (because "original Raro" is the polite way of putting it), Raro got rid of Jenny, who was so unhappy about her banishment that she flipped the tribe off on her way out. Poor Jenny! Poor Jenny's finger! So there are nine people left. Who will be voted out tonight?
Also: props to CletusMusashi for the unbeatable homepage headline, perfect for a truly headline-making episode.
We find ourselves at Raro on Day 25. Jonathan is emerging from the shelter to go fishing, but the rest of the tribe sees no need to do anything but stay in bed like the lazyboneses that they are. Jonathan even tries hinting that it's not as easy to bring in unlimited supplies of fish as it used to be, but he gets no interest from the group, because they don't want anything to cut into their resting time. In an interview, Jonathan tells us that he could have been voted out last night very easily, and that it remains to be seen whether the mutiny was a smart move. It seems to be working okay for him right now, he points out, given that three people have gone since the mutiny, and he and Candice are still there. Apparently, he still has the notion that he and Candice are aligned, meaning that he is not over the most basic of his delusions. Jonathan says that he's now in an improved position in a smaller tribe, and I don't get how that's true at all, but...all right. I have to think Jonathan should realize that, while he might be ahead of Nate, he is fourth at best with Raro, and that doesn't necessarily seem to be better than his position was at Aitu, you know?
Back at camp, Adam, Parvati, and Candice admit that maybe they should do something about a fire, since Jonathan is out getting food for them. "Or we could just have him come back and start the fire," Adam laughs, because being incapable of caring for yourself without a camp counselor is hilarious. In fact, when Jonathan returns with his haul of fish, they don't even have the fire going. He tells us that he was "disappointed," and that while these are "young people who like to sleep in," they're going to have to start doing things his way. We'll call that the Call Of The Very Responsible But Not Very Long For This World. With that, Jonathan starts ordering the group around about how they're going to pull it together and eat. He's not particularly pleased to find that they don't even have any water. "We've got to hit it right now," Jonathan says irritably as Nate walks off with the water container, most of his butt hanging out of the back of his shorts, as it does, apparently without interruption. It's like he has a special crack-revealing pair of shorts, the better to keep the blur police busy through the holidays. If I ran this show, it would be my first rule that all shorts have to have drawstrings, because seriously, nobody wants to see your ass.
Remarkably, Nate chooses this moment -- in which he has been called out as part of a small group specializing in doing nothing -- for a "shut up, fool" interview in which he openly resents Jonathan treating the rest of Raro like they're "knuckleheads." Wow. I mean, the only way in which they're not knuckleheads is that knuckles present an image of substantially more force and power than I'm seeing in these Jack Johnson-listening dorks. (I was just guessing; I went and looked it up, and Parvati actually likes The Fray, so I apologize for suggesting the Raros aren't bad-ass.) Candice still can't use the flint to get a fire started, which is an interesting development almost four weeks into her wilderness experience. Jonathan repeats in an interview that they need to be on top of things so that they can start winning some challenges: "I'm not going to lose because you kids can't get your asses out of bed." He watches as Parvati and Nate take some leisure time to do yoga. I think Jonathan thinks they need a little less Downward Dog and a little more ass-kicking.
Credits. Oh, I miss Flicka's long socks already, don't you? I think she would have body-checked Candice at some point, and I think I would have enjoyed that.
When we return, it is Day 25 at Happy Happy Aitu. Only at the moment, it is Day 25 at Sore Sore Aitu. Yul sits down like a creaky old man, and then admits to Ozzy that he's generally "tired and achy," and that one of his legs is hurting. Sundra tells Yul to drink a lot of water. That's her answer for everything, I suspect, including malaria. ["Ha! Mine too. If a physical ailment isn't dehydration-related, I usually chalk it up to pinkeye." -- Wing Chun] Yul tells us that the members of Aitu have all been having to compete in every challenge back to back, and that it's really beginning to take a toll. Ozzy, adorably, is utterly grossed out by a giant scrape on Sundra's leg that's...molting, or something. It's like part of her leg is abandoning ship. She interviews that their little tribe is still a pack of underdogs at this point, and that she thinks they still have to prove themselves over and over. She chuckles that while it may not be a great scenario, it's kind of their only choice.
We retire to a beach, where Jeff welcomes the tribes onto their mats. Aitu learns about the double boot that took both Rebecca and Jenny. "Two?" Yul says disbelievingly, just like he's an extra in a movie who has just heard shocking news and must repeat it for the benefit of the audience. Jeff points out to Aitu that they're really lucky they won the last challenge, or they'd be down to two. Boy, I'm so happy that didn't happen. Wow. It would have been, like, the Candice and Adam Smoochie-Woochie Show forever. I kind of need a vial of smelling salts just thinking about it. Asked for her thoughts, Sundra is cautious, saying that they're evening up, but that it's not like anybody can "get comfortable." Jeff now announces why they're all there: paint, blank flag, new buffs -- that's right, they're merging. One tribe, one battle between good and evil, and I think you know who's good and who's evil. The contestants all drop their buffs, and Adam interviews that his group (playing the part of Evil in tonight's pageant) was very glad that the merge came when it did, while they were still in the majority: "The future's looking bright." Jeff hands out the new buffs, and Sundra interviews that her team is still down 5-4, and that they've got a lot of work to do.
Jeff asks where the new tribe wants to live. Nate immediately says that there are more coconuts at Raro, and that there are no rats. He declares that they should go to Raro. Yul points out that Jonathan and Candice have lived in both places, so it might make sense to listen to them. Jonathan confirms more coconuts, and particularly confirms the lack of rats, and with that, it is decided. "Leave the ghetto!" Nate advises. Jeff, accepting the easily reached consensus, shows the group a big boat that's out in the water, on which they will ride in luxury back to Raro beach, enjoying food and (of course) booze along the way. There are many hugs, and then the members of the newly merged tribe ("merged" more than "united," of course) walk off toward the boat. The contestants all clamber aboard the ship, and someone finds the beer and wine, which isn't too surprising.
And they're off! They all sit down around a table to eat, and Yul tells the members of Raro so very earnestly that he's really looking forward to getting to know them. Which is probably true, because it's the guy he is. He'd be looking forward to getting to know you even if you had been hired to beat him to a pulp. He'd just be looking to learn as much as possible from the experience. "Hey, man, you know what? You've got class, brother," Nate tells Yul, already sounding about 75% sloshed. In an interview, Yul is more sanguine, telling us that while the group is sort of one tribe, the players are also obviously still divided as two tribes. So "things look pretty bleak" for Aitutaki (which he calls by its full name, which is so cute), but they're all looking for "any chink in the armor" of the "mighty" Raro. Which contains, currently, a couple of drunk dudes, a couple of girls who dig drunk dudes, and an increasingly unhappy Jonathan.
And now, the Drunky-Skunky section of tonight's episode. Adam, Nate, Parvati, and Candice proceed to get utterly shit-faced on the boat on the way home. Adam actually throws up over the side, then slurs that he's "watching [his] girlish figure." ["You guys? Just go be on The Real World, already, damn." -- Wing Chun] Jonathan is understandably disgusted by the whole thing: "Is that how you compete in a competition?" That's not even the worst of it. The worst of it is that that's not how you get a girl in girl-getting. I can't believe Adam doesn't know that puking ruins the mood. Jonathan interviews that he's trying to win a million bucks, and that he doesn't appreciate the slack-ass attitude of his slack-ass team: "They're psychos! I don't understand it." I must say, I'm enjoying Jonathan more and more as he becomes more crazed; the more he clearly wants to punch Adam, the more I sort of root for him.
Back from commercials, we follow the new tribe off the boat and onto the beach. Several of the players are still plowed, of course. It turns out that the new tribe is called Aitutonga. As Raro shows Aitu around camp, Nate cackles hysterically while interviewing (at some other, more sober time) that he thinks Raro is still good with numbers, because they were up 5-4 at the merge. Nate insists that he, Adam, and Parvati are close, and that Jonathan and Candice have no options because they've already mutinied, so he's "feeling very good." There is a flaw in his logic, of course, which is that he's assuming Aitu wouldn't take Jonathan and Candice back, which...I mean, when things become desperate, why wouldn't they? Nate says that he likes to "keep [his] enemies close." Didn't catch the whole saying last time he heard it, I guess.
Nate and Ozzy now take a stroll on the beach together. They seem to like each other, and indeed, Nate calls Ozzy "a good cat." In fact, Nate tells us that he's got an eye on Ozzy as a backup in case things go bad with the rest of the tribe. Ozzy mentions to Nate that Yul and Becky are really close, and Nate immediately says that Yul will be gone soon, because the Raro folks will want to get rid of him. For his part, Ozzy interviews that he knew from the time they kidnapped Nate from Raro that Nate might be useful, so he was taking advantage of that as soon as possible. This all leads up to Nate saying, "One love, brother. Let's do this." That's deep. One love. One million dollars. And the universe says, "Oh, yeah."
Now, Parvati and Adam are in the shelter, and she's up under his arm giggling about how well the day went for Raro. He starts to rub his thumb over her bare hip, and she tells him not to "start." He tells us in an interview that he "partaked [sic] a little bit" of the beer and wine on the boat, and apparently the implication is that only drunkenness led him to come on to Parvati. Parvati asks him "what happened to Candice," and Adam says, "You both can appreciate me." Oh my God. You know who he reminds me of? Jerry O'Connell in Can't Hardly Wait. And if you're thinking Jerry O'Connell isn't in Can't Hardly Wait, just think for a minute, because...he was. Not very much, but he was. And he played Adam. Anyway, Parvati laughs throatily and obediently. Adam interviews that it's great just to relax and not worry about challenges or tribal council -- just making a dick out of yourself as much as you can, as fast as you can: "It's been a great day. It's been the best day since I've been here." I have to think everyone in editing was incredibly depressed that they didn't have a shot of him belching that they could insert right here.
Yul and Becky have a talk, in which he asks what she thinks the dangers are of Raro's knowing that he has the idol. He's not sure there's that much danger. "They don't have the numbers to arrange a split vote," he points out, instantly understanding use of the idol as few people have, including some who have found it. Yul handles the idol in an interview as he explains that they've come up with a somewhat "desperate" plan based on trying to exploit the fact that he has the idol. Yul goes on to tell Becky that he's fairly certain Jonathan is "a rational player" who's not going to be dominated by personal things. He's not sure that can be said about anyone else. (Like, presumably, the professional canoodlers of Raro.) He thinks that maybe they can approach Jonathan and basically point out that, if he flips, they'll have the numbers, Yul will still have the idol, and they'll be able to put something together that might have an excellent shot at picking off the Raros. So in sum, in a moment that's really quite rare on this show, a man and a woman consult together about what to do on what appears to be a very equal footing, and when they agree that approaching Jonathan is the right move, Yul goes off to do it.
A couple of cool time-lapse shots later, Yul finds Jonathan and says that he wants to "talk strategy." Jonathan sounds dubious, but says, "Okay." Yul starts the pitch: "Does it make sense under any scenario for us to work together again?" Jiminy. You know, call the guy a management consultant right out of management consultant school made of management consultant with management consultant sauce, but he did a better job of opening that pitch than anybody ever does. He didn't blaze in saying, "I want to get you to flip and save me." Or "I want you to flip and help me." Or "How can I talk you into pursuing my goals?" He said, essentially, are there any circumstances in which they could work together? Not "I want to be the boss of you," or "I promise you my blood." People who study these things could tell you that the way you initially approach conversations like this has a huge effect on whether they work, and while I don't think Jonathan is easily led, I think Yul deserves monster credit for making an incredibly skilled approach, just in that one opening line. He's my hero. Jonathan says, "At this point, I could not entertain what you're talking about at all." He says that Ozzy would never trust Jonathan ("first to die" and so forth), and then he says he doesn't even know why Yul would trust him. Again: not real trust. Predictability. Game trust. And if Yul thinks he can make it rational for Jonathan to stay with Aitu and he thinks Jonathan is rational, that is trust, as good as you need it in this situation. As they talk, Yul tells us that Jonathan left Aitu behind once, but it's not like they have a lot of choices. I'm sure he'd rather not feel like Charlie Brown setting up to kick the football, but what are you going to do, right? If you do nothing, and you just beg, you know you're toast. You have to make a move. Jonathan says that while he's not entertaining the idea of joining Yul again, he also doesn't think anybody makes F4 without being aligned with the person with the idol. That's a really interesting point. And very possibly true in many, though probably not all, circumstances. Jonathan explains that, of course, if you aren't aligned with the person with the idol, then it eventually bounces back on you when the idol gets played. So while Jonathan claims not to be "entertaining" this, he basically tells Yul that if Yul had the idol, he'd have to seriously consider it. In an awesome little interview, Jonathan says, "If I flip again, the Raro people are going to go mental." Heee hee. That's why we want you to do it, Jonathan! Come on! Do it!
Yul now has a question for Jonathan: if Yul had the idol, and if he told Jonathan he had it, how would he know Jonathan wouldn't just tattle to Raro? Jonathan struggles for what to say, and winds up almost laughing at himself when he says that Yul would have to...you know, trust him. After the mutiny and stuff: "What am I going to say? 'I promise'? Okay, I promise. And what's that worth to you?" But he doesn't really say it mean. He says it, really, like he regrets that he feels like he's left himself no way to work with Yul, because he'd really rather. Jonathan pretty much says that if Yul doesn't have the idol, Jonathan can't say anything promising right now, and if Yul ever revealed that he did have it, Jonathan would really have to think about what to do. The guys shake hands, part on friendly terms, and leave it at "To be continued." I really respected that conversation, I have to say. Jonathan laughs in an interview that it's going to be quite the "fantastic twist" if he has to flip back, because the guy with the idol is the guy he was with before.
Here's the other thing that is insane: Yul kept reminding me of somebody during this discussion, particularly because he was okay with making his pitch, trying to get cooperation, acting understanding about the other person's hesitation, and then coming back later to finish arguing for what he wanted. And I kept thinking, "Who is that like? Who do I know who was like that, whom I admired for being able to walk away unsatisfied and be patient and come back later and finish being convincing?" And then it occurred to me, and I laughed out loud: it's Dr. Will. Seriously. Yul and Will have absolutely nothing in common as human beings, and I feel like I will go to hell for mentioning them in the same paragraph, but I'm telling you, strategically, the only person I know to ever make a smoother approach than Yul just made, without coming off desperate or creepy, was Dr. Will. And no, I'm not kidding.
After some commercials, we return. A giant wave crashes, and there are whales, and then it is Day 27 at Aitutonga. Yul is having a little chat with Sundra, off in the woods. He explains that he wanted to make sure their foursome was solid before he said anything, but...he has the idol. Sundra grins with enormous warmth. She hugs Yul happily as he tells her he thinks he can use it to get Jonathan to flip. Becky emerges from the woods, and Becky and Sundra share this wonderful little dance, where...Becky is kind of walking toward Yul and Sundra, realizing what they're talking about, alternating fist-pumps in the air. It's sort of softly funky, very adorable, and quite hard to describe. Becky heads over and puts her arms around Sundra with a happy little giggle. Because now they all know, and now they all know they all know, so they can all just know and be happy knowing, you know? Yul tells Sundra that if this works, their entire foursome will be in the final four. Elsewhere, Yul pulls Ozzy aside and shares the news with him, too. In an interview, Ozzy says his only concern about this very positive development is that he'd rather have something he could do for Nate, whom he likes. Ultimately, though, he says he's planning to be true to Yul, and to Aitu. Yul and Ozzy share a happy hug about their good fortune, and they part again. It's interesting that, at least as far as we saw, neither Ozzy nor Sundra was put out that Yul didn't tell them sooner, or that he'd clearly already told Becky. It's always so weird when maturity shows up unexpectedly.
Candice and Parvati have a chat while strolling along the beach, watching Ozzy fishing. Parvati says that if Ozzy should win immunity, Yul absolutely has to go before Becky and Sundra, because Yul is "really intelligent" and "a good competitor." And hey, Parvati knows from really intelligent. Candice wonders how Nate will feel about this, but Parvati assures her that Nate will do whatever they want him to do. Candice says that she wants Yul gone because he has these chats with Jonathan...
...and in fact, Candice goes and confronts Jonathan about said chats with Yul, though she does so casually, asking what Yul has been talking about. Jonathan talks in general terms about how Yul is obviously interested in some kind of an arrangement. Jonathan claims he just turned Yul down flat, telling him he was crazy, because Ozzy would never not immediately pick off Jonathan. Asked whom he thinks should go first, Jonathan says it should be Ozzy. Candice counters that Nate and Parvati badly want the first victim to be Yul. In an interview, Jonathan says that the morons on Raro want Yul to go first, but if Yul should happen to show up with the idol, he knows that it's going to be Jonathan himself who'll go, because he thinks Aitu will go after him first. He tells Candice that if they have the idol on their side, that's fine. But he points out that Jonathan doesn't have it -- and presumably she knows she doesn't have it. And if Yul turns out to have it...well, you can see how it's going. Jonathan reminds us that he told Yul he'd need to see the idol in order to act on any assumption that Yul has it.
We make our way to a challenge beach, where there are nine telephone-pole-type poles in a row. Jeff displays the individual immunity necklace that they all are now playing for. He explains that each of them will simply hang on a pole as long as possible. I love it when they give me one that doesn't require use of the word "thingy" to explain it. The poles have a few rings of thin rope around them that you can use as footholds, but you can't use the top of the pole for anything. The contestants all climb up ladders and wrap around their poles, at which point Jeff declares the challenge underway. Candice looks very cool from the beginning. On the flip side, Nate looks incredibly uncomfortable from the beginning. Adam also looks bad. It's clear early on that these two gym guys are the least cut out for this challenge, for whatever combination of reasons. Adam's feet start to tremble and twitch as he clutches, and he falls off the pole with nine minutes gone. Great showing, studly.
A bit later, Jeff asks an uncomfortable-looking Jonathan where he's feeling the pain, and Jonathan says he feels it in his feet. Jonathan points out that he has big feet, so putting all that pressure on the narrow ropes is really painful. Jeff shrugs and makes a face like, "Whatever, asshole." Yul inserts himself into this Jeff/Jonathan battle, saying that he thinks "Jonathan has a point, though": "Basically, the surface area supporting all of us is about the same, even if your feet are a little bit bigger or not. But your...your mass goes up at a faster rate than surface area. It's kind of like why elephants can't run up trees." All true. All awesome. What I adore about that sequence is the ringside seat for Yul's battle with being a complete dork. It's like once he gets going, he can't decide whether to just stop talking or actually try to get through what his point is and get it over with. Jeff has nothing smart to say in return, and he can't help changing over to a more helpless shrug. Adam, sitting on the ground, just looks confused. "I'm never going to get a date again," Yul says as everyone laughs at his nerdliness. Parvati assures him that "smart equals sexy." Oh, I'm sure she totally believes that one. That's why she likes Adam. Jonathan slides down the pole until he's on his last piece of rope. Nate tries to get back up to the top. Jonathan hits the ground, and at twelve minutes, he's out. You can tell Nate is not long for this challenge at all. Sundra is also beginning to slide. After twenty-three minutes, Nate is the one out of the challenge. So there are six people left -- all the women, and Ozzy and Yul. Sundra resettles, and Yul slides down a bit also. Sundra looks in pain, and she drops out at thirty-four minutes.
Candice decides to draw a little attention to herself by doing squats. "Get her on Aitutonga, and she goes wild!" Parvati half-squeals. Jeff asks if that's the new tribe name, and Parvati confirms that it is. Jeff's all, "Me likey," and Parvati's all, "Grrrowr," and it's really skeevy and upsetting and I feel like I want to notify a trusted adult. Yul, meanwhile, is not doing well on the pole, and he loses it at fifty-one minutes. Ozzy and the three women are left. The sun beats down. And then it starts to rain. Becky slides down, as does Parvati on her painted toenails. Parvati goes out after an hour and twenty-nine minutes. Now, it's Ozzy, Becky, and Candice. Jeff starts waving the immunity necklace around, as he does, just trying to start trouble. Somewhere, I'm fairly sure Jonathan wants to throw a spitball at him. Becky drops out at one hour and thirty minutes.
So now, as you might reasonably have anticipated, it's Ozzy and Candice. Candice blows him a kiss, which...no. It rains harder, because the universe thinks she should not blow kisses idly. Candice inches down the pole. Jeff points out that this is her first move in "over two hours," and then she slides down again. Ozzy has not moved an inch from the top of the pole. Candice jumps down at two hours and fifteen minutes, Ozzy having never budged. He wins immunity. "I feel like an old man," he says. Jeff puts the necklace around Ozzy, and sends the tribe back to camp to figure out what they're doing about the vote. Should be easy, right? Sure! Future looks bright! Tribe against tribe!
After commercials, we are back at camp. Asked if her feet hurt, Candice confirms that they do, and then accepts deserved props for staying up on the pole so long. Ozzy claims that, after an hour, he was thinking, "This is gonna suck." I like that the other guys were all gone by the time Ozzy started thinking it wasn't fun. Nate tells us he's glad that Ozzy got immunity, because Nate respects him. Candice asks Ozzy how much longer he could have stayed up, and Ozzy makes it clear that he wasn't particularly close to dropping out. Adam interviews that he thinks today just proves why they need to get rid of Ozzy, but since they can't, tonight, they will be getting rid of Yul. In an interview, Parvati says that you have to get rid of Yul at this point, because he's so incredibly smart. She calls him "Mr. Harvard Yale Stanford Guy," adding that he's also very strong, so they want him out as quickly as possible. I don't know about you, but I'm thinking about my future, and it's my glorious life as Mrs. Harvard Yale Stanford Guy!
Yul meets Jonathan as the latter comes back from a successful fishing expedition. Yul immediately gets down to business, telling Jonathan that what they discussed hypothetically is the actual factual situation. He says that he has the idol, and then takes it out to show it Jonathan. "Holy shit," says Jonathan as Yul dangles the magic compass. Yul says, "I'm asking you for both of our sakes to become my ally again." Jonathan interviews that he wasn't exactly shocked to see that Yul had the idol, given the chat they had already had. He says that this is a huge decision, whether to flip again. He also says that Yul made it clear that the choices were to vote with the former Aitu, or to go home himself. This is why I assumed that Jonathan would simply go directly to Raro and tell them what Yul said, at which point they could vote out Becky or Sundra. We now watch as Yul tells Jonathan that he'd really prefer to go to F2 with Jonathan, because he thinks he has a better chance against Jonathan than against the rest of his allies. Jonathan tells Yul he appreciates the peek at the idol, and that he'll certainly think about it. "To be continued," Yul says again. Somewhere, Dr. Will nods his approval.
Now, Jonathan sits down and has a talk with Raro. He doesn't tell them that Yul has the idol, which is basically what I figured he would do. He simply asks them to consider the possibility that Yul has the idol, and the fact that voting for the one person on the other team who could possibly have it might not be the best move when the advantage is only 5-4. Before Jonathan can even get this out, Adam declares, "He doesn't have the idol." Jonathan stops, and I think he's legitimately surprised; he asks Adam, "Do you have the idol?" Adam says that he doesn't have it. Parvati immediately says that Yul was only there for "like, a day," and couldn't possibly have it. In his interview, Jonathan tells us that the other people on his team immediately dismissed the idea that Yul could possibly have the idol, which he clearly found irritating. He basically concludes that they didn't give enough of a damn to think through the problem of what to do if Yul has the idol. Jonathan also doesn't think they're "smart enough," and he's convinced that if they all insist on voting for Yul, Jonathan himself will wind up going home.
I really think that part of what happened there is that Jonathan has just come to hate the Raro kids. He thinks they're shallow, callow dummies, and I think that's why he doesn't want to work with them. It's hard for a guy like Jonathan to play with stupid people, because he can't figure out what they're going to do: they're not rational. No game trust. No intelligence, so you can't predict. I had a friend who was a fairly high-level poker player, and he used to tell me that it was incredibly difficult to play people who knew nothing about poker, because they behave irrationally, so it's very hard to figure out what they're doing. Obviously, in the long run, you'll beat them, but you don't always have the long run, and I think that's what Jonathan did here. He has a bad feeling about his chances with both groups -- probably correctly -- but he has a bad feeling about even trying to go forward with Raro. I also think it's smart never to underestimate the pull of screwing over people you think are assholes. I doubt it's even conscious, nor is it the prevailing factor, but Jonathan's got to know that shoving it in Nate and Adam's noses would be pretty sweet.
Back at camp, Adam, Nate, and Candice talk about wanting to vote for Yul, and that Jonathan isn't cooperating. Adam briefly floats the idea of giving Jonathan his way just this one time, and maybe going after somebody else, but Nate slams that idea down. Why? Pride! Pride, dude! He says that they can't let Jonathan come into the tribe and tell them what to do. "You and I are calling the shots, dog," says Nate angrily, hating the fact that Jonathan would presume to have his own opinion. Adam tries to point out that they can't be too reckless, because they need five votes with them, but Nate just keeps saying that they don't want to have Yul in the challenges. Adam interviews that Nate is sure it should be Yul, but also says he's kind of concerned about Nate in general, particularly because he's spending so much time hanging out with Ozzy. Candice says that Nate needs to "chill out."
Candice and Adam, sitting in the jungle. "This game's crazy," Adam says. "Bananas. Makes you think all the time. Bananas." Then he chews, and they kiss. Oh, how I wish I were joking. It's like two volleyballs running into each other. It's that warm.
Later, Jonathan manages to grab a chat with the Aitu-ites while the Rarovians are out in the water having a swim. He explains that it's a big decision for him, and says that he does feel some loyalty to Adam and Candice for keeping him in the game. He interviews that flipping on Adam and Candice now means that he's "the guy who betrayed every single person in the game at one time or another." His solution is to tell Aitu that he'd rather Nate went before Adam. Aitu tells Jonathan that this is perfectly okay with them. Jonathan gives us the final report that his choice was Nate, because he trusts Nate the least. Another smart move by Aitu? Not pushing their luck and not insisting on getting everything right out of the gate.
Later, Yul and Becky talk about the fact that Jonathan might just be playing them. He might just be trying to get them to vote for somebody else so that if Yul has to play the idol, the rebound doesn't hit Jonathan himself. So they're aware that it's a risk. Yul says that if Jonathan doesn't vote with Aitu, it will force Yul to play the idol, and he really doesn't want to have to play it yet. ["Or ever, I would assume." -- Wing Chun] Yul says he's hopeful that this will all work out.
Meanwhile, Candice tells Jonathan that Nate is convinced it has to be Yul, and Jonathan says he's "down." Candice wants to know whether Yul has done anything to try to save himself, and Jonathan says that Yul has done nothing. Candice is surprised, but it's safe to say that she's not surprised enough. "Been weird," Jonathan agrees, and that seems to deflect her curiosity. In an interview, Jonathan points out that he's fucked either way: either he flips and is "a complete bastard," or he doesn't flip, and he's "a complete bastard." Heh. "I don't know what I'm going to do," he says. "I wish I knew." I do appreciate a guy who can accurately assess his own very bad situation.
Tribal council. Everyone has a seat. Jeff brings in the jury -- Brad, Rebecca, and Jenny. Everybody looks nice and clean. Jeff asks Jonathan how the merge changed the game, and Jonathan says that the sleeping is a lot more crowded. Sundra says a few things about all the bonding, and then Nate confirms for Jeff that you logically stick with your old tribe when tribes merge. Jeff points out to Yul that, if that's true, Aitu must be in big trouble. Yul says he's just happy that all four of them have lasted this long, given the mutiny situation and their underdog status. He acknowledges that "both tribes are tight," so Aitu indeed was at a big disadvantage at the moment of the merge: "I feel like tonight is going to be pivotal." Yeah, no kidding.
Jeff asks Becky whether she's noticed anyone having a particularly strong connection. Becky says that she noticed "body language" and the big bond between Adam and Candice. Adam counters by saying that the closest bond is the one between Yul and Becky. Becky takes this good-naturedly, but she says that it's "different," considering that she doesn't lie all over Yul's lap. Jeff makes a bad move by asking Parvati to talk about Adam and Candice. Of course, Parvati loves to talk about them and how they want to make babies. "I got booted out of my spot," Parvati notes "jokingly." I think Adam and Candice aren't the only ones who want to have babies. Adam snort-laughs at himself as he insists that he has two sides, so Parvati and Candice can both have a snuggle. Spee-yack. Jeff asks Jonathan if he's concerned about two people "pairing up" like Adam and Candice have done. Different, Jeff suggests, from the friendship that might develop between, say, Jonathan and Ozzy. Jonathan has the obligatory moment of gay panic, insisting that it's certainly nothing like him and Ozzy, har har! Jonathan says that "they're enjoying each other's company," but he doesn't see Adam and Candice as a real "romantic" thing. And honestly, there's a sense in which he's supposed to look stupid here, like, "Get with it, moron." But I think he's basically right: it's making out and canoodling, yes, but is it romantic? I don't think it has that "these people are falling for each other" vibe. It's more like Adam and Candice have hooked up over spring break, and I don't know if I count that as "romantic." At any rate, Jonathan says he's not concerned about it.
Asked how tonight's vote will change the game, Ozzy says that it will "set something in motion." Either things will improve for his team, or it's all over. Which is basically correct. "At this point, I think we're definitely at a pivotal moment," he says. Jeff asks whether Nate thinks camp will be different after this tribal council (hee hee), and Nate says he sure does (hee hee). He says that "both tribes are sticking together," so if anybody jumps or makes a move, it will show up after this vote.
Jeff goes in a bit of an odd direction by asking Jonathan how the show has changed him as a person. Jonathan says that he's "enjoyed every second of it," and that he's bonded with younger people, and he's tried hard to enjoy the experience, because he'll never repeat it. He calls the experience "profound and wonderful." ["Well, that was scintillating." -- Wing Chun]
Jeff offers Ozzy the opportunity to give up the immunity necklace. Ozzy: "Ha." Jeff reminds the players how the immunity idol will work if necessary. Sundra votes. Becky votes. Yul votes. Adam votes. Ozzy votes. Nate votes. Parvati votes. Candice votes. Jonathan votes. It's interesting that they didn't reveal a single vote, but if you think about it, it sort of had to be that way. Every vote gave away something about how it was going to go -- it wasn't clear whether Aitu would pick Jonathan or Nate as a target; it wasn't clear whether Raro would pick Yul or someone else.
Jeff heads off to tally. He returns with the votes. The first vote is for "Yuehl." I'm sorry, "Yuehl"? That is...that is very inventive. ["Maybe Nate is a big fan of Oscar-winning actress Mercedes Ruehl." -- Wing Chun] vote: "Yule." Happy Holidays! Then Nate. Spelled correctly! Then Yul -- spelled correctly! So it's 3 votes for Yul/Yuehl/Yule, and one for Nate. Then another one for Nate. Ruh-roh! Then Nate again, so now it's 3-3. Adam strokes his chin. I assume the concern on Raro is basically...why Nate? Aitu is made up of good strategists. Why isn't their target Jonathan? Or Adam? What does this mean? Jeff reveals another Christmas vote for "Yule." So it's 4-3 Yul. Now? Nate. And the final vote goes to...Nate. Yul leans back in his seat in relief. Parvati's eyes go wide, and she bites down on her fist. Adam rubs his forehead. Hulk sure plan good! What go wrong? Candice looks over at Jonathan, trying for "hurt." Jonathan raises his eyebrows to the sky and looks upward for a minute while pursing his lips. It's like he's going to say, "Hey, is anybody else thirsty? I could really use a drink. Anyone?" Nate's torch is snuffed. Take that, "nancy boy." Jonathan and Yul exchange a look, which Yul punctuates with a little nod.
Jeff says that, based on everyone's reaction, it looks like "the impact was significant." He sends them home.
Nate's farewells are about as ungracious as farewells get, telling Jonathan to kiss his ass and so forth, and (remarkably) claiming that Jonathan "sold [him] out," despite the fact that Nate never had any allegiance to Jonathan to begin with, so I have no idea what that's supposed to be about. I'm sure Nate knows.
week: Candice cannot believe people don't feel like feeding her lazy ass anymore. Jonathan says "bollocks." Indeed.