We swoop in over an erupting volcano, spewing forth the remains of Survivors past. I think I see part of Jenna Morasca's ear. On the edge of the volcano, we find Jeff "Still Trying To One-Up Phil" Probst, who tells us that he is on the rim of Mount Yasur, a volcano that Jeff believes to be angry. So we're jumping right in with the anthropomorphizing, obviously. Jeff then confirms my suspicion that this is where the dead, such as Hatch and Sue Hawk, are buried. He explains that there are nine active volcanoes in the nation of Vanuatu, which I predict you had no idea was a nation until now. Or, you know, until CBS started advertising a few months ago. Vanuatu is indeed a country, and it's in the South Pacific, and it's an especially nice place for a holiday if you enjoy being burned with lava. Among other things, Jeff breaks the news that the island has "a fascinating history of cannibalism." Well, sure. Is there any other kind? Does any place on earth have "a ho-hum history of cannibalism"? No, I didn't think so.
Anyway, Jeff claims that "sorcery and black magic" are still commonplace, so that will be good for those who like to justify their voting decisions in strange ways. "It was sorcery!" they will say as their closest friends slink off to be sequestered. We watch our eighteen contestants (again with the expanded cast...bad trend, bad bad trend) who approach on a big sailboat. Jeff says they're "strangers, all from different walks of life," and now, they have to "create a new society." Which is what he always says, of course. My great hope at this point is that the hick-looking guy in the orange Bob Barker t-shirt will not suck, because that is a cool shirt. A plume of volcanic ash attempts to sneak up on Jeff as he explains that only one person will be around to claim the prize at the very end. All of the rest will have been eaten by then. Figuratively speaking, that (probably) is. Quick shots of all the contestants follow as the music swells with tension and time-wasting. And then there's Jeff again, on the edge of his volcano. "Thirty-nine days, eighteen people, one survivor!" Here we go again. And it's like they know how tired it's getting, from the voice at the opening of the music that sort of shouts. "AIIEEEEE!" Because, I mean...exactly.
Credits. Ah, jumping with ropes tied to your feet is in the credits. Wonder if that'll come up at all.
The boat's anchor drops. As the castaways anxiously look toward the shore of a typical, Survivor-type island, a bunch of guys in boats come paddling toward them through the water, shrieking and generally looking a little alarming. There are thirty or so of these little boats, so it's not just a couple of guys -- it's a flotilla. And it's definitely on the way. But then we see that among the flotilla is Jeff Probst on his very own canoe. He comes up to the castaways' boat and climbs aboard. The castaways all applaud happily, because they're still all clean and stuff and haven't yet begun to hate him. Jeff welcomes them to the game, and he tells them that before they can start, they have to be "granted access to the land." Oh, great. I can only imagine what this is going to entail. Jeff tells them that they'll be participating in a "tribal ritual," which is a "rite of passage." And which, I'll bet, nobody has performed without tourists present in the one hundred years before Burnett showed up. Just a guess.
Jeff tells the castaways that in order to stay, they'll have to participate in The Ritual. Wait, it's baby-eating, isn't it? I'll bet it is. He tells them that it will "impact each of [them] differently." It is! It's totally baby-eating. "At times, you may find it beautiful." Yep, that cinches it. "At times, you may be repulsed." Well, maybe not. Because, who could be repulsed by baby-eating? Jeff promises that a "real chief" will preside over the ritual, and tells them that the tribes take the ceremony seriously, and that they should remember their manners. Just because people eat babies, that doesn't make them bad.
Jeff sends the castaways off in the canoes toward the land. Bookkeeper Mia says that she was nervous about what this was going to turn into after hearing Jeff's somewhat ominous description. (She didn't think of baby-eating, I'll bet.) There is climbing into boats. Bob Barker Shirt Guy, whose name is Travis, tells us that he was just thrilled with the part about climbing into the canoe, because he only learned to swim six weeks ago. (Or, as he says it, "six weeks a-fore I come here," which pretty much tells you what you need to know about his manner.) And in fact, Travis and his group manage to tip their canoe and go into the drink. But they all live. Whew! The tribes sing to the castaways as they head toward the shore. Well, that's nice. Leann the Equity Research Assistant talks about how overwhelming it was when they were paddled into a larger circle of boats and then toward land. "I was moved to tears," she says. Mm-hmm. Moved. To. Tears.
The castaways land on the sand, and from a group of small houses, folks run out and start screaming. And they have spears. So that's not so comforting. Indeed, "There was a bunch of tribesmen running with spears!" exposits John P. the sales manager, saying he wasn't sure whether they were expected to defend themselves or not. Unsure of what to do when confronted with a bunch of angry people with pointy things, the castaways stand motionless. Rory, a black guy who's a housing case manager, says that he was the only one who didn't get a spear in the face. "I took that as, you know, a black man coming on the island isn't particularly unwelcome," he smiles. The singing and dancing starts up again, and Eliza the law student tells us that some guys showed up in big shaggy "jungle dresses" (well, close enough) and started pulling people out of line with sticks and prodding them forward. She noticed, because she is smart, that they sorted the women to one side and the men to the other. She also notes that the men all got to sit on little stumps, while the women had to kneel on a mat. Hmm.
Lea, a drill sergeant (and a man, even though his name is "Lea"), is approached by a guy who tries to move him toward a bowl of water, but Lea is unsure what he's supposed to do. He wonders if he's supposed to wash his fingers, because it's time to eat. Heh. He calls the water "rustic-lookin'," and indeed, it's very brown and chalky. It becomes clear that his host wants him to drink it. This, it turns out, is Chief Mormor, and he's offering them kava, which is "the local drink." "It's like mud, basically," Lea says. Rory adds that the kava makes your lips and your tongue go numb. Well...that doesn't sound very good. But they all drink it, except for Travis, who spits it out, to the giggling of the local children. John P. takes note that the girls aren't getting diddly, neither anything to drink nor any attention, from the chief. Of course, his reaction is that "this is pretty cool." Well, sure. Oh, for a society where women don't have such darn high expectations. Asshole. Ami the coffee barista (yes, there is an Ami and a Mia, which is...not fair) says that she was waiting for the women's turn, which never came. You don't welcome women, you only welcome men, you see. "I'm not used to being put second behind a man," she says. Yeah, I'm not...I'm not loving this. I wouldn't enjoy seeing castaways taken to a racist society to see the nonwhite ones treated poorly, and I don't care for this, either. I don't think it's quaint, and I don't like seeing the women lined up to be treated like they're not even there. The fact that there are and have been societies where those rules existed doesn't mean I really want to visit (or revisit) them.
There is dancing and such, and then Jeff asks everyone to remember that "what is about to happen is a common part of their tribal tradition." Lisa the real estate agent notes that a pig was then brought out, and she became aware that the Vanuatu people really like their pigs. In fact, she thinks "pigs are somehow better than women." There is certainly no shortage of things to cringe at so far, so they're off to a booming start, at least. And after they bring in the pig, everyone realizes that while it is hanging upside-down from its feet, the pig is alive. You know, for the moment. But then, to be plain about it, the pig is killed. By, apparently, bludgeoning. This ceremony just gets better and better. Eliza says that while she eats meat and knows you kill animals for it, seeing the pig killed was a bit gasp-inducing. I think I would find it gasp-inducing because that is not among your less cruel ways to kill an animal, in my opinion, although I am no expert on pig slaughter and would stand to be corrected. Dolly the sheep farmer -- no, really, sheep farmer -- says in an interview that it didn't bother her, not that you can tell from her slack-jawed expression when it happens. She claims that because she's "a shepherdess" and raises lambs, she doesn't react to it. And as the step in the ritual, the pig's blood gets smeared on the foreheads of -- you guessed it -- the men only. And the chief tells them they are all warriors. So the guys all feel welcomed. The women? Not so much. Not warriors, not welcome, not really even there.
Jeff now announces that there is one final thing they need to deal with, and that it's "a spiritual stone." The stone is believed to ward off evil spirits, and could give a team "a spiritual advantage." Uh...okay. Jeff tells them that as they've undoubtedly noticed, men and women are treated differently. In this case, the chief is offering only the men a chance to get the stone for themselves. And how do they get it? By retrieving it from the top of a greased pole. If they fail, the women get it. Not that the women get an equal chance to compete for it -- the women just get it. Frankly, this is irritating. These are real, genuine, flesh-and-blood women, and seeing them treated like cargo is irritating to me. I realize everyone's got a cultural filter, but this just makes me really uncomfortable -- watching them sit there, shunted off to the side.
Anyway, the chief will send up a tribe member to put the rock at the top and show the men how to climb the pole. The tribe member shimmies up the pole and puts the stone at the top. Travis explains that even though he didn't believe in the spirit stone, he still wanted it, just "so the girls wouldn't get it." I'm sorry, "git it." Lea says that when the guy was done putting the stone at the top, none of the guys was excited about being picked by the chief, because none of them wanted to be the one to crawl up to the top and then fall down. Hey, at least you're getting a chance, there, Sarge. Don't look a gift chief in the mouth.
The person who manages to get himself picked for the pole is Brady, a very, very pretty FBI agent who says that he figured the only way to get up was to do it exactly the way the other guy did. So that's what he does. The women sit there and hope that Brady will fall, which seems fair, considering that they have yet to have a fair shot at jack, but of course, it doesn't happen. The guys get the stone, so that's a nice assertion of how much of a crap the show gives about the women it has brought into this situation. You know, if this is the way the entire season plays out and this is going to be the gimmick, the way pirates were the gimmick of the Pearl Islands, then between this and Rupert's Million, this show may just do itself in. I really don't think that women find seeing other women treated like this as entertaining as I guess Burnett and Probst do, and I kind of resent having Probst lecture the women about how not being spoken to, how being made to feel less important than the pig, is just "different," and that they shouldn't be all small-minded about it.
Anyway, the guys celebrate, and Travis has some kind of comment about how it abruptly started raining "like pouring pee out of a boot onto a flat rock." Wha-huh? Whatever. Maybe this is as much sense as Tom would have made if I had been able to understand the actual words coming out of his mouth. A frightening thought. And one that makes me miss Tom's old "Aaahhverrnafeeefernuttin" way of talking. The guys have prevailed. And now, finally, Jeff comes out to divide the teams and get this stupid thing underway already. He tells the men that they will remain as the Lopevi tribe, while the women will remain together as the Yasur tribe. Chris the construction worker says that he was glad it was men against women, because eight guys are much easier to fool than eight women. "Women stick together," he says with suspicion. "They're thick as thieves. Men are deceiving, mischievous [he says "mis-chee-vee-us"], untrusting human beings." Blah blah blah. "Men, I can manipulate," he announces. Twila, a highway repair worker, says that she looked around at the other women and wondered what exactly she had gotten herself into. She noticed that there seemed to be some fairly prissy women, and some who looked like they'd never gotten dirty in their lives. Heh. Yep.
Jeff says, as the rain soaks him, that the thing on their plates is to find their tribal beaches. They'll have no maps and no fire. They'll find it, he can promise, "a long, dark, wet walk." And waiting for them at camp? Machete, pot, map to water. Because once again, the All-Stars ruined it for everyone. Actually, they ruined everything for everyone. Jeff sends the men in one direction and the women in another, and they're gone, in the truly pounding rain. If that rain is real, somebody up there really likes Burnett, because it's quite a dramatic exit. Mia notes in an interview that the women basically got nothing out of the ceremony; didn't get to do anything, didn't participate. So they're "out for blood now," not that I really see the connection. "That ceremony was meaningless to me! I will fight to the death!"
This season's scene-transition icon is the volcano, so we see a shower of sparks fly into the air as the (women's) Yasur tribe walks in search of its beach. They're making their way along a very wet and slippery area, holding hands as if they like each other and are all going to be best friends. Scout, a rancher who's obviously been ranching for a lot of years, takes a tumble, and then she starts to advocate just "hunker[ing] down" and waiting for light rather than trying to get to camp, because the conditions are so poor. She tells us that while she hasn't let anyone know yet, she's got an artificial knee, so she tries to be pretty cautious when she's confronted with bad terrain for walking. She and a couple of the other women call out to the rest, asking how they feel about just stopping for the night. Eliza says that they "almost insisted," which...no, they didn't, really. When the women all get together, Scout tells them that among other things, she feels unsure that they're headed in the right direction, but she's perfectly okay with having the rest of them go on ahead and she'll just stay back. Leann interviews that they wound up unable to make a decision about it, and that she was kind of concerned that they'd already overshot the camp in the dark.
"I really had my heart set on finding our camp tonight," says Eliza, literally making no argument other than "But this is what I want, and that's what really matters." She claims in an interview that she was trying not to be "pushy," and so she was very relieved when others agreed with her position. When Scout sees that tide is turning against her, she agrees to push on ahead toward camp, knowing that if she doesn't, she'll be even more marked than she was when she was set as this season's Woman Of A Certain Age. The women start walking again. Which is good, because Eliza has her heart set on it.
Over at Lopevi, the guys are also looking for camp. They don't see a flag, and they, too, are starting to think they might have missed it. Rory stops the group and brings up the fact that there are nine of them, and he thinks that for all of them to be walking in a big clump like this isn't productive. He says that they've already passed some trails, and that they have no way of knowing whether one of them leads to the camp, because they're not splitting off to look. He dismisses the usefulness of "nine of us walkin' in a group like a bunch of ladies." "Like a bunch of ladies"? There's an odd, generic insult. I hardly think women hold the exclusive patent on moving in formation, provided you've ever heard of, oh, I don't know, THE ARMY. Brook makes an obnoxious interview remark about how Rory isn't going to "fit in," and that "there's one in every bunch." And...I'm so torn, because Rory really did make himself stick out there, and he certainly seems to have a prickly personality, but...I'm also so uncomfortable having the one not-white guy in the entire tribe be singled out in that general "not one of us" way on what looks to be the very first night. I'm not accusing; it's just icky. And then back during the walk, Brook weirdly states -- apparently in opposition to Rory's proposal -- that the walk is "keeping [them] busy." How would they be less busy if they broke into groups? That makes no sense. He's an idiot. Rory is outvoted, and the guys just want to keep walking, so he nods and they move on. In an interview, however, he reveals that he doesn't think the guys were engaging in "independent thought." He thinks it's clear that they could have covered more ground in other ways. As we pan in night-vision across four young, buff, studly types, Rory says something disparaging in a voice-over about the "young guys," and the dynamic begins to emerge.
The men look ahead and manage to spot their tribe flag, and they realize that they have reached their beach. There is a lot of hooting and hollering, and then they all clump up and raise their fists and pretend to like each other. Like a bunch of ladies.
We drift over the mountains -- and please, if you haven't already, take a moment to appreciate the fact that this show remains, among other things, visually scrumptious in a way that it doesn't always get credit for -- and back to Lopevi. Brook and Rory take some time to wash off in the creek that's serving as their water source, but Brook interviews that they don't want to use the creek water to drink until they can boil it, so again, it's a race for fire in order to be able to get water. We see Chad dragging a big tree over, presumably for shelter-building. Wing Chun gets a shout-out as John P. explains that the method he's using to try to make fire worked at home -- when he was practicing! Someone practiced making fire at home ahead of time! Granted, it's not working right now, but still! At least he thought of it! ["John P. is now the smartest Survivor of all time by a pretty wide margin. Got a little choked up when I saw that at least one person practised, God bless him." -- Wing Chun] John claims that he's doing it just the way the "aborigians" did, so there goes his medal for being the Smart One. ["Yep, there goes the moment. I did enjoy it, though." -- Wing Chun] Chris explains that John is trying to prove himself, but that he's not smart enough. "He's got the frame, but he ain't got the brain," Chris says, clearly believing this to be a bon mot. Bon not.
John does get some smoke to appear, but the one ember -- or, as John says, "amber" -- that they provoke doesn't do them any good because they aren't able to get it to catch. Chad interviews that he thought they were close to fire, but that it just didn't happen. And now, it's time for Chad's big reveal, which comes when he asks the guys if they agree that he did fine coming down to camp, no problems or anything, and they all seem fine with that. He unzips his convertible pants, and as he pulls off the bottoms to make them into shorts, we see that he has an artificial foot and lower leg, which looks like it starts maybe at about the knee or a little lower. Chad interviews that once he had proved himself with something "physically demanding," he could let them in on his situation. He explains to the guys that he lost his foot to cancer about a year and a half ago. "Dude, it's inspirational that you're here," Chris says. Ugh. "Inspirational." ["Yeah, Chris, Chad survived cancer just to give you a little morale boost. Ass." -- Wing Chun] John K., the "mechanical bull operator" whom I can't yet tell apart from Brady, says that he had no idea that Chad had an artificial foot. And excuse me, but I call bullshit on "mechanical bull operator" as an occupation. Doesn't that just mean you tend bar in a honky-tonk? I mean, seriously.
The teams get to the starting lines and wait. Survivors ready...go! It's basically a draw through the mud crawl, although the women have to drag Scout out at the end, which I think is probably in part because of her knee, which may not bend sideways in quite that way. The teams operate the box maze, and the men finish it first. They move on to the balance beam. Chad falls off, as Jeff encourages the women to keep working, because they might catch up. Travis (whom Jeff is calling "Bubba," like, thanks, Jeff, I'm not confused enough yet) falls off. One of the Johns (K, I think) crosses successfully, just as the women finish the maze. Brady crosses. Travis crawls for it on his belly, scraping himself along the beam. Ow. Some of the women are doing the same. In fact, most of them are. Leann is across. Travis is across. Chad is across. Lea is across, Dolly is across, Mia is across, Rory is across. It eventually comes down to Scout and Chris. She digs, crawling across and grimacing, and Chris does likewise. Chris is really, really almost there when he tips to the side and rolls off, landing in the net. The men curse him under their breath as Scout continues to crawl. She apparently loses her top as she gets to the end, because she's all blurred as she rolls into the net. Wow, who knew the first pixelized chest would be hers? The women pull her to the mat so that they can start their fire, as Chris tries to run across to make up the time he lost. He falls off. The women start to build their fire. Chris falls off. The women build the fire. Chris falls off. The fire catches. Chris falls off. The fire burns. Chris falls off. The rope catches fire. The rope snaps. Chris falls off. The women grab the torch and run to the mat. The women win the first challenge. They try to get a chant up, but they're really not very impressive. They definitely need to work on their hooting and hollering. Jeff gives the women their flint, congratulates them, and sends them off. He tells the men that they'll have to show up this evening for tribal council. The women celebrate.
Volcano! At Lopevi, the post-mortem conversation with all the men frolicking out in the water is not a happy one. John P. says that he thinks they may have underestimated the women. Brady chuckles in an interview that losing fire was very painful. And then he adds, "Losing to women was tough." Man. Are guys really that sensitive about losing to women? I mean, guys who weren't born in 1850? For God's sake. Don't they watch the Olympics, or the WNBA, or...you know, women at the gym? Anything? Anything? Out in the water, Chris says, "To tell you guys a little more about myself, I'm not real good at a balance beam." Ha. They all laugh. I think that was probably his best option, all things considered, because he is more than conspicuous right now; he is undoubtedly marked for booting. And they know it, and he knows it, and for him to acknowledge it and have a sense of humor about it is not only strategically smart, it's sort of a kindness, in that it drops the tension level somewhat. Chris then interviews, less amusingly, that he could have made it across if he'd had wings. I think I'm going to spend this entire season trying to figure out what his point is. He claims that in the game, you "outwit, outplay, outlast," and you don't "outbalance." Actually, I think that's under "outplay" in a sense, Chris, so don't get into the semantics too viciously.
Later, Chris walks by himself on the rocks as the rest of the guys talk. Asked by Brook and John P. who he thinks should go, John K. says, "Weakest link." "Chris?" someone asks. "It has to be," he answers. Well...no, it doesn't, but okay. Brady, notably, says nothing. When Lea walks up, they ask him what he's thinking. John K. says that he wants to "beat those girls," so he's back on the theory of booting "the weakest link." Lea is noncommittal, saying that he wants to wait a few hours and see which way the wind is blowing, which is an interestingly frank admission that he's interested in following at this point, and not leading. In a interview, Lea claims that J.P. (which seems to be an adopted nickname now), Brook, Brady, and John (K.) told him that they needed to get rid of "the weakest link," and they seem to assume he believes that's Chris.
Lea has a little meeting with Chris, in fact, in which he tells him that he thinks the only shot that the "old people" have is to start picking off that pack of young dudes before they get too powerful. I can't believe someone has actually figured this out, rather than sitting around like bumps on logs until it's too late. That may be a first. Chris's choice for a target is J.P., whom he believes to be "too strong." Lea gets that, but points out that at least J.P. is useful, in that he's "really trying to make fire." Lea's proposal is Brook, who is presumably equally threatening while being more useless. Not a good combination. Chris agrees to take the idea to Chad. Chris then claims in an interview that there's a plan, and that he doesn't feel vulnerable "at all." I think that may be overstating the case, but whatever.
Brook and John take a walk as Brook is heard interviewing that he thinks the young "tigers" (bleh) might be targeted. John tells him that Chris is on the way out. In an interview, a surprisingly tricky Brady (well, he is an FBI guy, I guess) says that he hasn't entirely decided what to do, but that he's thinking about Chris as well as Rory, who "is on his own sheet of music" much of the time. Yeah, independent thinkers suck. Boo! The men walk single-file toward tribal council as Brady voices over that Rory isn't much of a team guy, and that "the group right now is where it's all at." Great sentence, unsurprisingly made up entirely of small words.
Golly. When we're not using volcanoes to transition, we're apparently using a skull. Because...skull! And then we are at tribal council, where the men are just arriving. They gather around the fire pit, and they're each issued a torch, which they light from the pit. "When your flame is gone," Jeff intones, "so are you." Jeff welcomes them to tribal council and starts the questioning. He asks whether anyone is willing to admit that as they saw Chris struggle so much with the balance beam, they were thinking that he was "killing [them]." Hands go up: Travis, Lea, a few others. Lea says that it was bothersome to him, because the balance beam is "so easy." What I don't like is the way he says, "All we've got to do is build a little fire, light a torch, and win, over these..." And he really sounds like he's going to say something very offensive, before he ultimately comes up with "females." Only he kind of spits it -- "FE-males." Hate that, a lot. I find that "FE-males" almost always means "I barely kept myself from saying 'bitches.'" Jeff asks if Chris was thinking, "I'm dead," but Chris denies that he was. He points out that, the first night, Rory got into a bit of a dust-up with the team (a clumsy effort to remind people before the vote that others have flaws as well), and says that Chris didn't give up on Rory just for that, so he didn't figure the team would necessarily screw him just for the balance-beam incident. Chris points out that everybody's got a way to help the team, so there's no point in assuming that you should boot a guy on such scanty evidence. Jeff asks Rory how he's fitting in, and Rory insists that it's going great, and that Lopevi is functioning "as a family, as a team." Jeff moves on to J.P., asking how close they are to "crisis mode" as a result of not having access to drinkable water when they have no fire. J.P. says it's pretty bad. When you don't have water, you get tired and get headaches and so forth. "It's taken a toll on all of us," he says.
Jeff awkwardly brings up the women. Travis kind of goes, "Huhn," and Jeff wants to know what the grunt is for. "Jay-uff," Travis says, "Ah've said it wuuuuunce, ah've said it a thousand taahmes, you nay-ver underestimate a woman." He claims that he knew all along that the women would come out fighting. He hopes that everybody now "respects these ladies." He reminds the team that the women appear capable of "kicking [their] tail." Jeff goes for gossip, asking Brook whether there's anyone he "wouldn't mind ending up on a tribe with." Oh, shut up, Jeff. Brook again refuses to bite on the bait very much, saying that although he did notice the "tails" on some of the women, he was busy being impressed with how competitive they were. And as much as I don't love these guys, I'm glad that they really do seem to be resisting the boob-talk that Jeff is obviously trying to provoke, and...just stop it, Jeff. ["Really. That's beneath the bitchy, direct Jeff I have come to love over the past couple of seasons" -- Wing Chun] Brook does admit to "peeking over quite often." But the guys seem to decline to spend a lot of time dishing about who has the best ass, and I wish Jeff would just stop asking one of these days.
Jeff asks J.P. whether the group was surprised to lose to the women. J.P. seems to think it's obvious that "Nine males, Jeff!" would expect to beat a bunch of women. Sigh. "We're going to have to come in and play the game a little bit harder," he says. "They just raised the level of the game."
And now, it's voting time. Brook votes for Chris. Rory votes. Lea votes. John votes. Brady votes for Rory. Travis votes. Chad votes. J.P. votes. Chris votes for Brook, saying "it's all part of the game." Jeff heads off for vote-tallying.
When Jeff comes back with the urn, he gives the usual "vote is final" speech. And then, the first vote goes to Chris. Second vote, Chris. Third vote, Rory. Then Brook. And Brook again. And Chris. And Brook. And Brook. Aaaaand...Brook. Brook unhappily stands up with his torch and is snuffed. SNUFF! Ah, the smell of roasting beefcake. J.P. and John do not look happy. Jeff sends the group back to camp, reminding them that they still don't have fire or water. I'm sure they're grateful for the reminder.
Smartest person in that vote, for my money? Unquestionably Brady. It looks like a dumb thing to do, not coordinating with anyone, but at this point, you now have J.P. and John isolated from the other guys, so they're likely to be the targets rather than you. At the same time, you haven't thrown in with an unwieldy group of five guys, which is a good idea, because six is too big an alliance. What Brady should be hoping for, and what he's set up a fairly good chance to accomplish, is that some subgroup of the guys who voted for Brook will try to suck him in once the group gets a little smaller. He's sort of removed himself from the battle, in a sense, so it looked really smart to me. Of course, this means he will be the one voted off. Which will make me cry, because...he's kind of hot. And he's in the FBI! Usually, the guys I'm attracted to are from the other side of the law-enforcement process.
The votes, as expected, were John, J.P., and Brook for Chris; Rory, Chad, Travis, Lea, and Chris for Brook. And Brady voted for Rory. In his farewell confessional, Brook says that he really didn't want to be the first one voted off. Thank you for that insight, Brook. That's very helpful to us all. You were the weakest link. Goodbye.
week: Rory makes waves! The women can't take care of themselves! This season is so innovative already.