Note: Of all the recapping tasks I have ever been given, including Married

Recapped by America · S08E06

Note: Of all the recapping tasks I have ever been given, including Married By America, this episode is the most unpleasant.

Previously on Adam And Eve On A Raft...Would Go Faster Than This, Even If They Were Both Wearing Cast Iron Fig Leaves: Saboga was dissolved, and Rupert and Jenna were scattered to Chapera while Ethan and Jerri were scattered to Mogo Mogo. The former Sabogians were outrageously happy no longer to be at Camp Hell (motto: "The Closest You Can Get To Life Inside A Giant Bag Of Dirt"). The immunity challenge started out to be all about good-natured shoving and Ethan breaking his jaw, but naked Hatch decided that he would bump Sue with his crotch, which she didn't appreciate. After Mogo Mogo dropped the immunity challenge, the maneuvering began between Colby and Lex (who wanted to dump Hatch) and Jerri and Shii Ann (who wanted to dump Colby). Ultimately, the swing vote was Kathy, and she went with the Hatch boot, sending him home just in time to avoid whatever the equivalent of a court martial would be on this show. Who will be voted out tonight? Or, you know...not.

Credits. I wish that helicopter were coming to take me away from this episode. Instead, I was forced to consort with several very imposing margaritas that came to my apartment, mixed themselves, plunked down in front of the TV, and said, "Life is too short to worry about this, girl." And I decided they were right, so I drank them.

Mogo Mogo, Day 16. Day One Post-Hatch. Lex sleeps. Kathy walks on the beach. Shii Ann's ass contemplates how far superior it is to all other nearby asses. Jerri pokes at the fire, looking for dinosaur teeth or abandoned donut remnants or something. She discusses the "scramble at the last minute" that went on the night, before tribal council. "Richard Hatch was scurrying about trying to save his own butt," she remarks. It's obvious that the concept of Hatchenfreude has occurred to her, what with the constant reassurances from His Nakedness that he can outplay them all. Jerri confirms that what happened was that just as they were leaving for tribal council, she asked Kathy what the plan was, and Kathy said the plan was Hatch.

The chicks have a chat out in the water, where they once again express their irritation that Colby sent Lex to talk to them instead of talking to them himself, which...I just don't know why they're on about this to quite this degree. "I was really offended that he sent Lex with the information like he sent his messenger," Kathy snots. Kathy is going to spend quite a bit of this episode exploring her sense of the word "offended," so be prepared. She interviews that part of her reason for going with the Hatch boot was that she has a good relationship with Lex, and that she would have destroyed it by going with a Colby boot without warning him, to the point where Lex would never trust her anymore. That's probably true. I still think it's remarkable that someone who will later belittle another for losing her temper can muster "offense" at the fact that the right person didn't come and kiss her ring about the vote. Moreover, she was asked whether she agreed with the decision to get rid of Hatch, whether she remembers it or not. I mean, there isn't always time to say much more than "We're changing to [whatever]." She didn't have any right to have anybody else vote for Ethan in the first place, so they have as much right to tell her that they're switching their votes to Hatch as she has to tell Jerri and Shii Ann who to vote for later. She was right with Colby telling Hatch that they had to take Ethan to get rid of him, and it's not like she stopped to take a survey about everyone's feelings before she went ahead with that. It's all just maneuvering. She's pretending to be a process theorist about it, but I think she just doesn't like the fact that she's not calling every shot. After the water powwow, Shii Ann interviews that "Kathy's the biggest power player of all." She mentions that if the rest of the tribe hasn't noticed yet that Kathy holds all the cards right now, then Kathy's playing even better than she thought. Despite the fact that Kathy didn't get her way about the last boot to begin with, so...whatever, Shii Ann. ["You need to create a 'whatever, Shii Ann' macro, if you haven't already." -- Wing Chun]

Chapera, also Day 16. Rupert is working on building a fishing spear, since they lost out on the last one. Tom is watching. I'm not sure what Rupert is even building the spear from, but he points out that it will clearly draw blood from a fish, because it's already drawing blood from him. It seems to be made from a nail protruding from the end of a stick. As we see Jenna, Rob, and Amber still sleeping, Tom interviews that the arrival of Rupert and Jenna put some pressure on him, but that he really likes "old Rupert." I love the fact that Big Tom calls Rupert "easygoing." Hope he doesn't get any votes, Big Tom, or you're going to be looking at the ugly end of an apoplectic fit, and you'll find out just how "easygoing" "old Rupert" actually is. I really do hope that it isn't too long before the rest of these people get to see Rupert bellow like a loony. Tom says that on the down side, Rupert's presence could eventually work to his disadvantage, because Rupert could fill some of the same role Tom himself does. I assume he means "experienced large strong guy," although he could also mean "pushy guy with a boatload of obnoxious affectations." Chapera goes out on what seems to be a sort of fish-stalking expedition, and Rupert voices over that "the role of provider is wide open." He's happy that none of the existing Chaperians can fish. He points out that some of them do eat the snails, which we see Sue gathering, but Rupert says he wants to bring oysters and fish to the group, because apparently he thinks that will make them happier. He says that Sue wants to be the provider, but that she's only providing the snails, which aren't the kind of quality seafood that he is capable of giving. Have you had Rupert's Oysters Rockefeller? Divine. Made from real vice presidents. As Sue pries snails off a rock, she explains that nobody originally wanted to eat the snails, but that as time goes on, everybody seems more willing to eat them. Hunger will do that. She seems to say that she doesn't eat the rice, so she doesn't know why they have to eat her snails, but...why wouldn't she eat rice? Eh? Is she on Atkins? Crazy low-carb people. (Just kidding! Don't email me!) Anyway, just as she sits up with a bag of snails, she tips it the wrong way and they all spill out. "Aaaaargh," she moans. "Re-collect!" Hee. I actually thought it was a little bit cute how she said that. And I don't usually think "cute" and "Sue" in the same sentence.

Pirate-licious flutelike music tootles serenely as we watch Rupert the Putative Fish Guy swimming around underwater, desperately trying to stab something living. Boston Rob and Big Tom observe from a distance, and Rob mutters, "I want to catch some fish. Grizzly Adams out there's trying to pretend like he's a big man. He's brought home two little fish the whole time he's been here." Rob then interviews that if Rupert catches fish, that's great: "He can continue to feed me until it's time fuh him to go. And that time will be determined by me. So he better catch a lot of fish...keep my belly full." Yeah, to some degree, he's just playing up that caricature, but to some degree, he's not, and it's very tiresome. He's one of those people who is far more palatable when slightly insecure. ["What they should have done is blended the cockiness of Boston Rob and the insecurity of Amazon Rob to create some kind of Uber-Rob." -- Wing Chun]

Over at Mogo Mogo in the upper level (which is looking kind of good, actually), Colby and Shii Ann are talking. She's asking about what she refers to as comments he made about "flying under the radar," where actually what I think he referred to was "coasting." But either way, she interviews that she brought this up because Colby called out her strategy last night. Colby tells her that she generally does just ask to be told what they're doing, which is a strategy he doesn't really respect. I think he's kind of full of shit, but on the other hand, she's getting what she deserves for asking about it, for God's sake. He says it's very easy to take direction from others and let them be the bad guy, just as Colby was yesterday. He then interviews that he thinks sitting in the tent and waiting to be given instruction is a lame-ass way to play the game. "That's an easy game to play," he says. "It's an easy game to make it a long way. I don't have any respect for that." But -- but -- oh, never mind. In a different interview, Shii Ann complains that Colby was all, "lecture lecture lecture," and she's rolling her eyes, and...if she hadn't gone to him to talk about it, I might see her point. But...she did. Shut up, Shii Ann. She also talks much too much about his good looks and straight teeth, and when you're hating a guy and also expositing on his hotness in a sort of an offhanded way? You are fooling no one. I mean, I feel her pain on the hot and annoying, but...please. We see Colby tell her that it takes more than showing up and voting to be a player. She then interviews, "He doesn't respect my game; I don't necessarily respect his...we're equal...but I'm not dumb enough to tell him that." What? Not respecting each other doesn't make you equal! Only being equal makes you equal! She's crazy. ["She's also annoying and dumb. I swear, I would like to know who at CBS went to the bat to put her in as an All-Star." -- Wing Chun]

Back at Chapera, a lizard observes as Sue tries to pick out "a lucky coconut" from several that are on the ground. She picks it up and shakes it, and Rupert comes in all talking about how it would be great to go into a merge at 7-4. Or even 7-5. Well, they probably won't merge at twelve, I don't think, because that's a little unmanageable. That's more like singing madrigals than playing Survivor. Rupert happily says that such an outcome would guarantee them all spots as the last seven, because as we all know, a seven-person alliance is an extremely easy thing to keep together, provided you have a big cage and four or five cattle prods. Alicia interviews that the old Chapera is still sitting back and watching Rupert and Jenna, who are new to the tribe. She says that among other things, they're waiting to see who Mogo Mogo voted out. In a round table discussion, Rupert speculates that it's Jerri. Tom suggests that it might be Hatch. "I wish," Alicia says firmly. "Richard probably is making them insane," Rupert says. "I would do my damnedest to have him voted off the first time we lost." Sue adds that she hopes he's booted. "They better talk to Richard about what he did to me at that challenge," she says with some concern. "That was disgusting," Rob says again. Sue interviews that as far as getting naked, that's not a big deal at this point. "We're over it," she says. But then she goes on to describe how she got rubbed, and that the rubbing was a whole different story. Back at camp, she adds that Hatch should also go because he's a winner, and she doesn't want winners around anyway. She seems to be okay at this point, although still pretty irritated about the challenge. Fortunately, it's time for a commercial. Enjoy the break while you can.

By Miss Alli

Morning comes to Chapera on Day 17. Sue complains that nights are really long at camp -- twelve hours of darkness or so. She says that she thought about the Hatch incident all night long, and kept waking up and thinking about it again. "And started feeling really bad," she says, and starts to get teary. "Like, why'd he have to touch me? He didn't touch nobody else. Why didn't he just walk by me?" Sad music accompanies her as she walks on the beach. Amber approaches Alicia as they both look at Sue walking by herself. "Is Sue not doing good?" Amber asks. "She was in tears just a minute ago," Alicia says. "You know why? Because the more she thinks about it, she's like, 'My husband's going to know about this, he's going to freak out,' and it's...not a good scenario for her." "Probably wants to be alone right now, huh?" Amber says.

Sue lies on the beach by herself, flat on her back. Alicia interviews that when they woke up in the morning, Sue was clearly not herself: "I didn't realize how much she had been affected by what happened to her until she started to cry." Alicia sits by Sue, still lying on her back, and says, "It's affecting us because it's affecting you. I mean, we're more worried about you than anything." Sue tells Alicia without looking at her, "I mean, it's, like, gross, I've lived with one partner for twenty years and never even thought about kissin' another guy." "There's nothing you could do, Sue; you know he's not going to be mad at you." "There's something I can do, and I ain't getting it done laying on this beach," Sue says miserably. Alicia tells her just to get it all out of her system, and Sue just kind of groans unhappily. "She just couldn't control her tears," Alicia says. "And she couldn't control her anger. It's really hard to try to console somebody who feels that way." Amber and Jenna meet up with Rob and Alicia, and all of them talk. Amber and Alicia agree that it was the long night of thinking about it that got Sue much more upset. "She's thinking about it..." Alicia says, and Rob adds, "She's thinkin' about her husband." Good call. He then says to Amber, "It's like another one of those situations, Amb-ah, where, like...is she just fuckin' around because, like, she's a smart play-ah, and she's trying to get some money outta this, wants to sue him, or is this, like, somethin' that's like really botherin' her." He finishes up with, "In a situation this serious, you can't even screw around, you gotta give her the benefit of the doubt." He then interviews that there are three possibilities. First, Sue wants to sue somebody and get a ton of dough. Second, she wants to get sympathy within the game. Third, she's "really emotionally distraught by the whole thing." He finishes, "Nobody knows what Sue's thinkin' except Sue." Amber says, back at the beach conference, that she thinks that at first, maybe Sue mostly wanted to get Hatch in trouble for it, but now it seems like it's legitimately bothering her. In an interview, Amber now says something sort of insightful (!), which is that Sue wound up having a lot of time to think about it, and "when you're out here playing this game, your mind does crazy things." She thinks that in another setting, it might not have been such a big deal. And boy, I agree with that.

Later, Lex and Ethan discuss fishing. Lex interviews that he knew Hatch was territorial about fishing, so he didn't want to get into it until Hatch was gone. But now, he and Ethan head hopefully for the water. A giant turtle swims toward a meeting of the new Animal Actors Union, devoted to getting residuals for all the critters that grace this show every week. Lex's legs vanish under the water, as Ethan sits on a rock looking kind of skinny and tired. There's a great shot of Lex getting a fish, and then an even better shot that shows Ethan sitting on the rock just as, out in the water, you see Lex emerge with the spear with the fish on it. What a great shot -- the camera guys rule. Ethan and Lex celebrate the fish. Wooo, fish! We celebrate you...and devour you. I think there's a metaphor there for certain concepts of celebrity, but it's probably more than I can take on this week. Ethan voices over, as they bag this fish and Lex goes for another one, that although he did want to be the fisherman, he didn't try it today. He says that he "let" Lex catch all the fish today. Uh huh. ["Yeah, like I let Lex catch all the fish today." -- Wing Chun] Lex gets another fish. Lex voices over that he didn't think there was any reason to tell people he was a fishing genius until now. "I think that holding your cards a little closer is always a good idea in Survivor." He and Ethan return to camp with their substantial haul of fish. Not only are there several fish, but there are several kinds of fish, which is pretty cool. "Lex is a competitor," Colby interviews. "This is not his first rodeo, as we say in Texas." Heh. Colby says that, indeed, he put Lex's fishing ability in the permanent file, knowing he may have to deal with Lex later. They all talk about what a treat it is to have such an array of fish. Lex says that he has "the favor of the girls" (ick) at this point, and that if he can be a good provider, they have no reason to keep Colby or Ethan around. Feh. That comment gave me all kinds of uncomfortable daddy vibes, though I don't think he meant it quite that way.

At Chapera, various people are walking in a pensive manner on the beach. I think it's safe to say that this would be the episode where I would have made the best use of a macro for that. Then we see Jenna walking with Amber and Rupert, telling them that when she came to the tribe, she felt like a "sacrificial lamb," because Rupert can get fish, but she has no value at all. Not that she says precisely that. Amber voices over as the three of them join the Rahbfather that she and Rob had the idea of forming an alliance with Rupert and Jenna, telling them that Amber and Rob feel threatened and need more help. They all discuss a possible alliance, as Rob interviews that "momentum is huge." He says that when you have momentum, you try to keep it. "Rupert has a squeaky-clean image and attitude," Rob says. "There's something about him I just don't trust...so I formed an alliance with him." Heh. Slightly funny. Back in the alliance meeting, Jenna confirms that of course, she's all over being in an alliance with them -- yay! Let's all be friends! Rupert interviews that, at first, he didn't trust anyone. Now he trusts Jenna, and he hopes he can trust Rob and Amber. Rupert should really consult the book he has filled with all the knowledge he has gained about strategy. Of course, he would find it empty, so I guess maybe he needs to get writing if he wants to fill three pages before he dies. Rob then gives a speech at the summit or whatever it is, in which he explains that if you honor your alliance, you go to the end. But there's always somebody who "gets greedy" and jumps off the boat. Rupert makes Amber look at him and shake hands, because of course, scientists have demonstrated that it is impossible to look at someone's face and lie to him at the same time. Something about enzymes. "You have my word," Rob tells them, because that's just what Rob does. Other people eat rice; Rob gives people his word. In his interview, however, he says that he now has alliances with everyone but Sue and Alicia, and what alliance he chooses to honor will just depend on how things go. How is this guy still getting people to get into alliances with him? "It's my game, buddy," he says. And I hate him because he's so cocky and arrogant, but...it's kind of true. Unlike, say, Rupert, he can back up the bluster with something a little more substantial.

After some more commercials and a fresh Inappropriateness Warning, Jerri and Lex head out to pick up some treemail. It implies a reward challenge for food, and something involving stomping. The treemail is also printed on the outside of a bag with a small amount of coffee in it, which Jerri deliriously inhales. Lex says they can try to make coffee with it. "I'd be up for five days," Jerri laughs. "I've been dying all day today to be alone with Lex," she interviews. We see her tell Lex that he can trust her. In fact, he can trust her "150,000 percent." ["Well, now she's just too trustworthy." -- Wing Chun] She also says, "I absolutely adore you," and he's like, "Okay." Which is a great (in the sense of "hilarious") answer. He tells her that he trusts her, too, and they hug. Lex interviews that the conversation he had with Jerri was totally sincere, and that he likes her, but that he's also going to do what's necessary to advance in the game, and if that means taking advantage of situations where there's "a friend that might trust [him]," then that's what he's going to do. "It's business this time," he says. I think of all these people, Lex and Colby are the two I haven't yet wanted to punch at some point.

Back at Chapera, the players discuss the upcoming reward challenge. They talk about wanting seasonings, meat, wine...basically all the stuff they don't have. "Every day we talk about food out here," says Rob, "because as good as the rice is...it's terrible. And there has to be some light at the end of the tunnel. We're staaah-vin' over he-ah." Rupert asks Sue if she's hungry, and she says she's not. Around the fire, Tom complains that Sue's whole falling-apart-at-the-seams thing will hurt the whole team. Mm-hmm. In an interview, Rupert says, "Sue is Sue. She will endure and pursue her own agenda. She doesn't give a damn about what anybody else is doing. Ultimately, Sue having her own agenda will hinder her." Thank you, oh wise one. Rupert explains that it alienates her from the tribe, which I am so happy he pointed out, because I couldn't tell it was having that effect at all from the way she never talks to the rest of them because they're such total assholes to her. Alicia tries to get the tribe thinking about winning the challenge to get them back up on their feet. Alicia interviews that they support Sue, but that they still have to play the game, and that, I have no problem with.

We swing over to a fat swirl of white beach, where Jeff is standing to call in the tribes. They get to their mats. Jeff points out to Chapera that Mogo Mogo booted Hatch. Jeff says that before they get to the challenge, he wants to talk about yesterday. "Richard Hatch," he says, and looks over expectantly at Sue, "sorta being inappropriate?" "Sorta," Sue says, with her eyes downcast. "Anybody have any comments?" Jeff says. "I was sexually violated," says Sue. And the body language is just all kinds of interesting here, because Amber and Alicia and Jenna all basically look at the ground in front of them, while Big Tom, Rob, and Rupert are all watching Sue. She bites her lip and takes a step forward. "To have some guy come up...he passed a half a dozen people on platforms and never touched 'em." "Sue," Jeff says, "I -- I'm --" "And it went too far," says Sue. "And he crossed the line, and he crossed the line with me." Jeff tries again with "Well --," but Sue cuts him off again: "Okay, I know you don't know. And you didn't see it because his back was to you and he's too big of a fucking slob to see around." And here, Kathy smirks. Nice. "I was violated, humiliated, dehumanized, and totally spent, Jeff," she spits. "And it wasn't 'sorta,' Jeff. 'Cause his back was to you, Jeff. That's all I'm saying, and I'm fucking spent and I'm done with this fucking game." And with the way her face looks, you're never going to convince me that's faked up for effect. This reaction may not be rational, and there may be all kinds of crap contributing to it, but I can't bring myself to question the sincerity of it. ["Eh. I think she meant what she said, but I also think she amplified it because of the situation she happened to be in when the whole mess happened." -- Wing Chun]

By Miss Alli

When Jeff comes back to the group, he tells them that the reward is for food. They can either sit down as a group and share the food and talk, or they can play the challenge. Jenna wants to share the food and talk. Not only does Kathy not want to do that, but she's laughing some more at how dumb Jenna is. She really does come off like a complete dipshit in this sequence, I have to say, and it's only reinforced by what she does later. I don't know what her damage is, but she bugged the ever-living bejeezus out of me, which is a shame, because I've usually found her fairly likable. The rest of the group doesn't act obnoxiously dismissive like Kathy does, but the majority clearly (and understandably) wants to play, so that's what they do. Jeff explains that each team has a basket of food items. Each person will run down to a sort of a seesaw setup that you can adjust, and they'll put the food item on the down side of the seesaw. Then you stomp the other end, and the food flies up in the air, and it's supposed to land in a basket eight feet high that's on top of a platform. So you stomp, the thing flies up, and theoretically, if you've got the plank adjusted right, it lands in the basket. Got it? Shii Ann visibly cringes when Jeff explains that every person has to get an item to land in the basket. She likes the sitting out a lot better. The items are sugar, pineapple, nuts, coffee, oranges, and beef. Beef...in a can. Hmph. Most importantly, the winners also get seven giant steak-and-vegetable kabobs, so that's the really good part. Although you don't have to shoot the kabobs up in the air, because the show's liability insurer is already at home getting direct hits of oxygen as it is. Oh, and the tribes are even, so there will be no sitting out, Shii Ann.

Survivors ready...go! Big Tom and Ethan go first. Big Tom lands his on the first try; Ethan does not. Jenna is for Chapera, and she gets down there just as Ethan lands his item in the basket on the second try. So now it's Jenna and Shii Ann. They both miss the first shot. Shii Ann's second try is good; Jenna continues to struggle. For some reason, Jenna just cannot do this at all. Jerri goes for Mogo Mogo and scores on her second try. Jenna? Still struggling. Colby hits on his first try. Jenna? Misses some more. New Non-Improved Hate-able Kathy is for Mogo Mogo. Finally, Jenna gets it to go. Rob is for them. Kathy misses. Rob hits. Kathy hits. Lex misses. Alicia hits. But then Lex hits, and Mogo Mogo wins. Pooooor Jenna. Heh. Mogo Mogo celebrates. Yay! Bleh. I hate everyone right now, and can't bring myself to be happy for anyone but Lex. Yay, Lex gets steak! Well, and Jerri. She was so hungry. Well, and I think Colby tried to be nice. Even Shii Ann got a little sympathy in there. Okay, just Kathy should have no steak. No steak for Kathy. Kathy can eat sand. Smile about that, Smirky. Both tribes mosey back toward camp. My head is just pounding at that sequence.

Mogo Mogo returns to camp with their goodies. Ethan talks rapturously about the kabobs, and inhales the smoke when Colby starts grilling them up. "The steak kabobs," Colby interviews, "were more delectable than...excuse me while I clear the saliva out of my mouth." Hee. We see them all eating their lovely dinners. Ethan says he doesn't even eat meat -- but oh, yes, he's eating this particular meat. In fact, he "wanted to rub [his] face in it" and "wanted to sleep to it." Heh heh. Lex mentions to the group that he's hoping there's not ill will at Chapera for not sharing the food, and Shii Ann assures him that most of Chapera wanted to play, too. Colby brings up the fact that with the loss of Sue and the loss of the challenge, Chapera is going to be laid pretty low. They comment that it's a good thing Hatch wasn't at the challenge, and Lex is horrified at the thought of how that scene would have progressed if he had been. Kathy assures all of them that Hatch would "be mortified," because he "does have a soul." Which I guess makes him more soulful than the utterly non-mortified Kathy herself. Shii Ann babbles in an interview that as much of a jackass as Hatch may be, he would never have purposely violated Sue. Which I agree with in the sense that I think he wouldn't have done it if he knew she was going to suffer this much over it, but...I mean, that's part of why you don't do that shit. That's part of why you respect people's personal space and you don't use nudity as a way of intimidating them, because the more freakish your efforts to unsettle people become, the harder it is to predict what buttons you're going to push in your endless effort to be provocative. Back at the fire, Kathy is already on to her "blame Sue" phase. "Angry woman," she says. Shii Ann says, "She must have been feeling something awful for twenty-four hours to have exploded like that." Shii Ann then interviews that she felt terrible for Sue that Sue felt so awful about it. "Very mixed emotions," says Shii Ann. Kathy: "I thought it was brutal, I know it's a horrible thing that happened, but my God." She finishes up with this gem: "That was hard for all of us to hear." Yeah, really hard for...you.

In perhaps the worst contestant interview I have ever heard, Kathy elaborates: "I don't like [Sue] for it, I'm sorry. I know she went through a lot. Still. You've got to learn how to contain your emotions. I was really offended that she'd bring us that far into her core of hatred. Didn't like it. So, I don't know if that's mean-spirited, but [shrug] it's how I feel." Yes, Kathy, it's mean-spirited. More to the point, it's jaw-droppingly self-absorbed to the point of almost being funny. Note that she's not saying she thinks Sue blew it out of proportion, she's not saying she doesn't think Hatch didn't intentionally humiliate her, she's not saying she thinks Sue had some ulterior motive...she's just saying that no matter what happened to Sue, she should have kept those feelings to herself to avoid, I guess, inconveniencing other people with them. "You've got to learn to contain your emotions"? That's utter nonsense in this context. I'm totally receptive to Amber's position that it got blown up because of the conditions, or to the position lots of people take that she had too much time to think about it and got herself all wound up, or to the position that she's obviously got issues of her own that have nothing to do with Hatch that are all over this situation -- I actually agree with all of that. I even understand -- even while disagreeing with -- the position that she may have blown it up for attention or money. But this? This idea that even if you feel the way Sue was feeling, you owe it to others not to leave your dirty emotional footprints on the floor, lest they "not like you" for making them look at your mess? That's asking Sue, in my opinion, to do the wrong math. It's fine if you want to say she overmeasured her own pain, but to say she should have measured her pain against your discomfort and spared you her troubles, that's just...I think that's wrong. And again, it disheartens me, because generally, I like Kathy.

But you know what else gets me? Kathy didn't see it. She's the one person you know didn't see any of it. That's why she doesn't claim it was or it wasn't blown out of proportion. She doesn't have a clue what happened, not one damn clue. She was facing the opposite way. You'll notice that everyone else who didn't see it (meaning the rest of Kathy's tribe) has pretty much chosen at least to offer some gestures that suggest sympathy or concern, without turning around and condemning Hatch as some kind of a sex offender. And almost everyone who did see it -- meaning Chapera -- has called it "disgusting" or something similar at some point or another. But Kathy? She has no idea. She doesn't have eyes in the back of her head -- you can look at the tape and see that she can't see it. She got bumped into while it was going on, but she has no idea what happened, and yet she somehow knows that Sue should have "contained her emotions." It's a hell of a thing, claiming to be that sure, and risking being that particular kind of wrong, when you have literally zero knowledge of what occurred.

Night falls. Around the fire, Rob asks Rupert whether he thinks Sue was "influenced" to leave the game. Rupert says, "No. By her own greed when she said to me, 'I'm suing that fucker for ten million dollars." Apparently, Rupert missed a few classes at Hyperbole School. ["Although if she did say that, I kind of wish we could have seen it." -- Wing Chun] Moreover, the fact that it occurs to you after something happens when you're incredibly angry that you could sue somebody doesn't mean you're inventing how angry you are so that you can sue them. Half of the people in America react by yelling about suing every time they don't get their way. They don't actually do it, in the vast majority of cases, it's just the threat of choice for people who feel helpless. It's not admirable, but it doesn't make you a fraud. For Rupert to call Hatch's behavior "disgusting" and then watch Sue leave the way she did and still conclude that her motivation was "greed" just indicates to me that he has all of the sensitivity I have always given him credit for. What an arrogant, self-satisfied ass, seriously. Rupert then sits around and bitches about how her leaving was "a hell of a gift" to Mogo Mogo. Way to keep your eye on the ball, there, dude. Rupert then interviews that with the departure of Hatch, Sue's leaving, and Chapera's losing the challenge, they were almost done for. Does he remember that Hatch wasn't on their team, so he doesn't get to count that as a point against Chapera, when Hatch left? Yeah, I didn't think so. Moron. Rupert and Rob lecture the tribe about staying strong after a merge and blah dee blah, and I hate these people so much I can barely look at them without spitting. They all make a pact to stay together.

By Miss Alli

Surprisingly, as they wait for the boat, the one who speaks up is Shii Ann. "I'm so sorry, Sue," she says. "I'm so sorry. I didn't see him...I'm so sorry." Sue just looks at her team: "You guys, good luck." Amber gives her a hug, as do Jenna and Alicia. Alicia gives her a kiss on the cheek, and Sue is still crying. She goes to head for the boat, and Jeff comes over and puts an arm around her to walk her out. Not just the hand-on-the-back, either, but a real arm around her shoulders, which -- despite the fact that your local victim advocate will tell you not to so much touch the violated lady -- I think he meant it in exactly the right way, plus she had been giving hugs to her team anyway, so...I thought he handled it fine, overall. Interestingly, as one of the Eagle-Eyed Forum Posters pointed out, to their credit, Ethan and Lex both take a step back as Jeff and Sue walk past, as if either consciously or subconsciously, they're thinking they should go with her or do something or at least not just linger motionless like hanging venison. Jerri folds her hands under her chin and shakes her head. And Kathy, goddammit, still looks like she's suppressing a smirk. What kind of a...oy, never mind. I'll just get angry. Jeff puts Sue on the boat, and it takes her away. "Boy, is that discouraging," Kathy says. Yeah. Really hard on...you.

By Miss Alli

The day, Rupert goes to pick up the mail, which shows them that there's no challenge. Chapera shares a "moment of silence for Sue," which is initiated by Alicia and starts out not really mocking but not entirely serious either, just kind of like, "Sigh." But then they all break by saying they're going to eat, and Rupert gives his booming asshole laugh, because God forbid you'd show any compassion for someone you didn't like who isn't even there anymore. You should definitely stage a large and showy celebration so that if she gets to see it later, she can know for sure that you could give a shit about how she felt or the circumstances under which she left. Amber gives a perky speech about how they made the sad moment into a happy moment, and then we go to the part of the episode that convinced me that some of these people are in desperate need of some comeuppance of some kind of biblical magnitude. Basically, Boston Rob tells Big Tom that now that Sue's gone, they can sing a song. And what's the song? "Ding! Dong! The Witch Is Dead." Which Tom dances to obligingly. There just are no words for how unbelievably shitty that is. Sue's not competing with them, she doesn't want anything from them...I mean, the whole time she was there after that happened -- which was one day -- she never really even allowed them, let alone asked them, to comfort her or understand how she was feeling. Whether you think she blew it up or not, by the time she left, she was obviously distraught, and most of them acknowledged themselves that it was because something bad happened to her. Something you know was totally out of line causes somebody on your tribe to break down and leave, and all you can do is sing and dance about it? Jesus. You don't have to send her a card, but you don't have to spit on her, either. I just don't understand it. Just...don't. I mean, aren't they afraid of how they're going to feel if it's exactly what she said it was, and she left for no other reason than that she felt sexually humiliated? Is that a cause for celebration?

By Miss Alli

"It was heart-wrenching," Rob says with a laugh at the end. "It's hard to get over," Tom laughs back. Amber sits absolutely miserably on the nearby bench, with the guys and Rupert -- who's laughing right along -- paying no attention to how she or Alicia is reacting. Alicia interviews that she herself wasn't crazy about the dancing. She knows Tom and Sue didn't get along, but the insensitivity of that "is pretty crummy." I could not have said it better, even though I just spent a couple of paragraphs trying. "Crummy" is exactly the right word. Simple, to the point...I wish I'd thought of it. Alicia goes on to offer the only tribute Sue's going to get, which is that she was "valuable." She was "hard-core," "like a guy." Amber, on the other hand, lectures about how unfortunate it is that Sue failed the "true test" because she couldn't "keep it together." Wow, I'm so sorry she failed you, Amber. There's supposed to be some kind of happy fade-out for Chapera here about how they just keep on keeping on in spite of everything, but I'm just not feeling it.

So I guess all I can say to Rob and Big Tom, to Kathy and Rupert, and to everyone else who witnessed that situation developing and chose to err on the side of fuck-you is this: May the people you love who have something bad happen to them that doesn't really make sense to other people get a little greater share of people's humanity than you saw fit to spare for Sue. Because humanity-wise, that was a piss-poor showing.