Previously on Survivor, you know what happened. Yes, you do! And if you don't know what happened, what are you doing watching the very last episode of the season? Just so you can talk to everyone else in the office about it tomorrow morning at work? I won't indulge that! As much fun as recapping the recap of the recap -- and trying to find another joke in this chronically recycled footage -- sounds, I'll take a pass.
But, okay. Because Peachy insists, here's a brief synopsis of what has happened so far in this season: Christy warbled about her disadvantage because she was deaf and no one understood; Rob missed his calling as a lumberjack; Alex poked himself in the eye with a tree branch; Butch got bit by a dead fish; Jeanne fed the rest of the tribe her nasty balls; Shawna fell over; Janet fell apart; Ryan looked pretty; Roger annoyed everyone; Daniel sniveled; Joanna hallelujahed; Deena litigated; Davey Rockett booyahed; Matt sharpened his machete over and over and over again; Jenna was a stick figure; and HeiDDi had very large breasts. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, the gender-divided tribes were scrambled and then merged; lots of people got voted off; lots of people backstabbed each other; the alliance formed; the alliance got betrayed; and the alliance sort of came back. Got it? Good.
In therealpreviouslies, Rob loved hot dogs so much; Butch walked like an insane Egyptian; and Jenna hated every minute of being in the Amazon. HeiDDi and her giant breasts became the twelfth, thirteenth, and fourteenth players voted out of the Amazon. Only four remain: Matthew, Jenna, Butch, and Rob, who will tonight compete in their final immunity challenges. Two will advance to face the jury; one will outlast all the others and become the sole Survivor.
Does the Survivor insignia at the end of the credits usually trickle water like that? How is it I've never noticed before?
An orange shadowy moon. Thunder and lightning. Raindrops. The S4 return from Tribal Council on Night 36. As they work on the fire, Rob tells us that voting HeiDDi out was difficult, but that the last few days reminded him of a birthday card with a hot girl on the front and an inside greeting that read, "No matter how hot you think this girl is, somebody somewhere is sick and tired of puttin' up with her crap." As funny as that might be -- and it's questionably so at best, and only then because any snark on HeiDDi is okay by me -- it really doesn't make any sense. What kind of greeting card would it go on? The newly available "People Suck" Hallmark line?
Matthew and Butch work on the fire as Butch voice-overs that it's just like "college basketball Final Four." And it is, in the sense that there are four of them, but that's about all. In that sense, he could also say it's just like the four seasons, or the legs of a table, or the Teletubbies. He claims it's "big-time" now, and despite the miserable conditions, deep inside he's "jumpin' with joy." And based on his dancing, said "jumpin'" would involve lots of knees and elbows.
As the tribe continues to obsess over the fire, Jenna voice-overs that making the final four and being the last woman is a big deal. She tells us she's "accomplished all [her] goals and then some in this game."
Matthew congratulates Butch on successfully starting a fire without burning down the camp again. Rob announces -- as if it's a revelation -- that "somebody in this foursome is gonna win this game," and that it's really "huge." Jenna claims that she's suddenly glad still to be there, even if tomorrow she'll be happily saying goodbye.
Butch interviews that Jenna wanted to leave the night because she's been sick, but that he, Matt, and Rob voted HeiDDi out instead because she was the bigger threat. We return to the tribe, where Jenna claims that even if she doesn't win immunity the night, she's glad she got to hang out with the men; Matthew and Rob appreciate the sentiment, and then Rob adds that as much as they're adversaries in the game, they're still friends who rely on each other.
It's now Matthew's turn to state the obvious as he tells us that they have three days left, which he expects will be "straightforward." The S4 stand somberly around the fire, including a very still Matt, his arms crossed. He voice-overs that they'll send Jenna home, and then he, Butch, and Rob will face off; he proclaims, "May the best man win!" We return to the group, where Butch exclaims, "What an accomplishment!" before they do a giant, collective fist bop accompanied by a Jackée cheer.
It's morning now, and various wildlife bop, skitter, and slither along. Matthew is awake early, hacking at logs as he voice-overs that he's "kind of enjoying the whole process of demolishing [their] old shelter." Matthew likes demolition in general -- even more so when there are body parts involved. He explains that there is a sense of closure to tearing up the camp, but that he's also hoping to be able to use the leftover wood for the fire so that they'll be able to spend their last few days enjoying themselves.
The other members of the tribe are now awake, and Matt mischievously looks over at Butch and commands, "Do a little dance!" Butch responds, "When I do that, I embarrass my family." Not that it stops him. He ambles toward the center of the camp, points at Matt to make sure he has his attention, and announces that he'll "start with 'the Egyptian.'" In other words, he has a repertoire. For some reason, the sound crew thinks this display should be accompanied by emphatic honking noises. As Butch darts forward, Matthew exclaims, "Oh yeah! Oh yeah, Butch! Cuttin' it up!" Butch announces that his move is "the old 'Cut a Rug,' you know?" causing Matthew to order, "Stop, man...you're scarin' me!" And now we know his weakness -- a word to all the recap readers: should Matthew ever chase you down and attempt to use his machete to chop you up into itty bitty pieces, just walk like an Egyptian. He can't take it. Butch presses on, doing that vaudevillian dance move where you put your hands on your knees, and swing your knees back and forth, and is there a name for that dance? If there isn't, there should be. Just so it could be more easily identified as a dance you should never, ever do. Matt has overcome his horror and continues to look on in amusement before announcing, "Now there's a man with rhythm!" Rob interviews that Butch will need to see a therapist when the game is over, telling us that even Matthew thinks Butch is psychotic: "And if Matt is saying you're crazy, you are out of your frickin' mind!"
As the S4 walk away from camp in the direction of the challenge, rain comes down around them. Jenna voice-overs that she still feels sick, and that she knows she won't get better just eating manioc. While she's still there, though, she'll do everything she can to win immunity.
We see an overview of a giant maze, and the S4 wading through knee-deep swampy water, into which Jenna almost does a face plant. This episode could have used a good face plant. Peachy urges them to enter, adding, "Attaway, Butch." And aren't the words "attaway" and "Butch" just meant to be said together? Peachy points out that it's another rainy day, and that he knows they're worn out, but that they're "this close" to the end, and he doesn't want them to give up. In today's immunity challenge, the S4 will negotiate their way, blindfolded, through a maze, collecting four necklaces representing earth, wind, fire, and water. Along the way, there will be guideposts with directional arrows pointing toward each station, and they'll have to use their fingers to read the guides. As opposed to using their tongues or butts. Each time they reach a station, each of them will claim a necklace, put it around his or her neck, and follow an arrow to the station. The first person to return to the center post with all four necklaces guarantees him- or herself a spot in the final three. Peachy dramatically takes Matthew's immunity necklace away. It's important. We get it.
Peachy leers, "I'm gonna lock you in," as he commands the S4 into the maze and we see close-up shots of their blindfolded faces. As the challenge begins, the rain pouring down around them, Peachy narrates that the S4 are all "workin' very gingerly" until they "get acquainted" with the course. He calls this a "wise move." I call a "wise move" using an umbrella in a downpour. As Jenna walks into a wall, Peachy snits, "Jenna getting very acquainted with a corner of the maze!" Matthew slams into a station with his gut; shortly afterward, Jenna -- who's shorter -- takes it in the chest. Ouch. Matthew moves through the course very stiffly; he looks like the killer in the horror movie who walks and still manages to catch up to his running victim. Clearly, he's had practice mastering that posture. Peachy points out that although Matthew just got a necklace, he might not know which one he got. Meanwhile, he snits that Butch is "gettin' very familiar with the burlap." Rob stands dumbly at a station as we see Jenna claiming a water necklace. Rob eventually gets one, too. Butch, meanwhile, is "lost in Never Never Land," and muttering to himself, hoping a friendly piece of wood will whisper some advice.
As Jenna works at a guiding post, Peachy warns her to make sure she knows which arrow goes with which sign. Meanwhile, Matthew zombies his way toward her, running into her neck with his outstretched arm. Peachy zealously announces, "Matthew, tryin' to grope Jenna!" She jokes, "Quit copping a feel there, buddy!" causing Matthew to yell back, "I finally have an opportunity!" Jenna faux-gasps in response. Peachy announces that Rob is "certain where he wants to go," and I expect him to turn himself around and head straight for his own chance to grope Jenna, but instead he claims his second necklace.
It's now Butch's turn to get a piece of Jenna, and he misses the neck and the breasts, ending up with a full-on armpit. He apologizes as she kids, "Butch, you're married!" He doesn't think it's so funny and flusters, "That's all right. I know I couldn't help it!" Jenna jokingly complains that she's "gettin' groped left and right." It's a joke, anyway, until she loses the million and needs some quick lawsuit-easy cash.
Matthew and Rob intersect at a guidepost, and Rob pats Matt's back, and -- debatably -- his ass as well. Peachy cautions them to be very quiet about what they're doing as we see Matthew embracing a pole and necklace, followed immediately by Jenna, who probably heard him successfully fumbling around behind her. The guideposts, by the way, are stationed immediately in front of the necklace stations. As Jenna claims a feathered necklace, she asks, "Does anybody see me takin' this one?" Peachy announces that she indeed has her second, and she gives two happy little thumbs up. Butch still has no necklaces, leading Peachy to announce that he needs some help. Jenna responds, "All those boys need help."
At an intersection in the course, Matthew tosses Butch some advice, and Peachy marvels that they're actually working together in an individual challenge. Jenna agrees that it's not fair as Peachy rubs it in: "They're teamin' up on you, Jenna." She responds that they'll have to fight her "to the death" for it. Butch finally reaches a guidepost, while we see Matthew in the background ramming himself up against a wall. Peachy points out that although they may be working each other, they're not helping each other very much. We see mud-covered, trudging feet, as Peachy narrates, "Rob...wandering...aimlessly." Hee. Butch and Jenna cross paths again, and Peachy orders them to say hello. They do.
By this point, the S4 are all hovering around the same guideposts, probably just trying to follow one of the others to a necklace, which Jenna successfully does after overhearing Matt again. So Matthew and Jenna are tied with three necklaces each; Rob follows with two; and Butch has finally gotten one. Jenna and Matthew both race for their final necklaces, but Matthew is stalled at a guidepost before moving on his way as Peachy announces, "Matthew, movin' fast...he's smellin' something!" Dramatic music flares as Jenna surprises herself by stumbling upon the center post. While the men look tired and dismayed, Jenna insists that Peachy doesn't know how badly she needed the win. Matt finally stops fumbling at a guidepost and walks away, still wearing his blindfold. Hee.
Peachy congratulates Jenna on her "nice work," and concludes from her win that anything can happen. She's safe from the vote, while the others are "fair game." He'll see them at tonight's Tribal Council.
A reflection of the Jackée flag takes us to the real Jackée flag on Day 37. The S4 stomp back to camp, led by an invigorated Jenna, who marvels that it's always a surprise to find the camp in one piece. Rob interviews that he, Matthew, and Butch had a plan, and that Jenna's winning immunity threw everything into chaos. Matt laments, "Um, I couldn't, my problem was -- I was tryin' to find earth." Hee. He's still trying to find earth, as far as I'm concerned. Rob tells us that he bit off all his fingernails and doesn't know what to do, because it's a very scary time in the game for him. We then see Matthew and Rob begging to launder Jenna's stinky socks for her. She declines before telling us in an interview that she really needed immunity, it felt great, and now the others will have to change their plans.
As the S4 scurry around camp, Matt explains that he doesn't know how Jenna feels about the voting order, or how things will unfold. He anticipates "a lot of negotiations" this evening. The first of said negotiations begins as Butch approaches Jenna, who openly says she doesn't know what to do. She asks what he's thinking, and he "I guess"es his way through responding that he'd like to be in the final three. Jenna hears him out as he stutters along, positing that the others are talking about the decision right now, and they'll probably pick him. Except he says it like this: "But I could tell ya. I'd say they're probably gon' talk up. Say, well, who we gonna git? And they'll probably say Butch." I just translated it for you.
We join Matt and Rob's conversation as they're pretty much saying exactly that. Matthew urges Rob to let him know if Jenna approaches him about voting against him, and Rob matter-of-factly responds that if Jenna is going to vote for Matt, then they'll just vote for Butch, who will vote for Rob, in which case Butch will still go. Rob interviews that he and Matt talked through all the scenarios, and agreed that they had to vote for Butch. Actually, Rob proposed they had to vote for Butch, and Matthew agreed because that's the way their relationship works. "Owner and pet," by the way, cleaned up on last week's recap poll. Rob and Matt talk some more about how Butch is going no matter what, and that the two of them will make the final three -- along with Jenna. This conversation would be much more interesting if it didn't turn out to be exactly what happens.
We return to Jenna, who asks which of the other two guys Butch would most like to see voted off, but he'd rather she answer that question first, since he's the one asking for help. She'd like to see Rob go, because he screwed her, and he's a bad screw. Well, I added that last part, but I don't imagine his neurosis works much in his favor in the bedroom. Jenna points out that she and Butch have never wronged each other, and that's all they have to go on at this point in the game. Butch earnestly says, "If you would stand by that, I would really appreciate it." She says she does stand by it, before completely qualifying the statement by adding "right now." Butch stutters his appreciation some more and then adds, "Here I am? Asking you? And I'm a fifty-one-year-old guy and a twenty-one-year-old girl." I'm impressed -- it's hard to be both at once. They enthuse over being a team of the youngest and the oldest, and Butch is excited. Jenna assures him that he has no reason to feel nervous. Unless he's nervous that she might vote him out, that is, which is her exact intention.
Rob begs Matt not to screw him over, and Mat responds that he's doing his best to come up with a plan that keeps both their best interests in mind. He then voice-overs that Rob is in "real trouble," explaining that he doesn't have great relationships with either Jenna or Butch, and that his only real relationship in the game is with "yours truly." He brags, "So I'm the only guy who can really keep him going in this game." Matthew urges Rob to trust him, and vows to do his best to "work that deal."
Did anyone else think there was a whole lot of talk in this episode? It's all talk and no action, which is ultimately made worse by the fact that when we finally do get some action, it's not the action we want.
A giant water bubble drops as Matthew acknowledges to Jenna that Rob screwed her. But he's been thinking about who deserves to win, and although Butch hasn't screwed anyone, he also hasn't done much of anything. Matthew doesn't think Butch deserves to be there, and Jenna adds, "Rob has played the damn game!" As we see their cooking pot filled with what appear to be several beetle carcasses -- are they eating them? Or is that the oft-mentioned bug-resembling "babasu"? -- Matthew points out that both he and Jenna have a good shot because they haven't screwed anyone. He thinks it's the one thing he's got going for him, and then very slowly proposes a "secret alliance based on a shared voting strategy": during the day's immunity challenge, whoever wins will take the other. In an interview, Jenna explains that Matt promised he'd take her to the final two if he won immunity, but she knows people can still lie, and that Matt could end up taking Rob. In that case, though, he'd be putting her on the jury immediately after stabbing her in the back. They shake on the agreement, and as Butch walks by with more wood, they sit and look shifty together. Matthew voice-overs that he and Jenna have an agreement, and that he has to choose whether to honor that alliance, or (and he punctuates the statement with a heavy sigh) "do some backstabbing."
The S4 look pensive as Jenna voice-overs that neither Butch nor Rob wants to vote for Matt, so she's faced with the opportunity to vote off Butch (whom she doesn't think deserves to be there) or Rob (in revenge for his earlier betrayal).
The S4 arrive at Tribal Council while the Amazonian soundtrack singers grunt, "Hey! Hey! Hey!" The jury comes in, including Christy, who looks very pretty and natural. HeiDDi? Not so much.
Peachy announces that they've now reached thirty-seven days, and asks how Butch feels. Butch responds that it's a wonderful feeling, and that he's accomplished more than he ever dreamed he would. Peachy asks how he got this far, and Butch answers, "I didn't make a lotta loud and noisy comments and didn't cut anybody down. I was very positive with everybody." He always looks for the good in other people, and he tried to "utilize that" throughout the game.
Matthew announces that he had a "very multi-faceted strategy based on honesty and versatility" toward the perplexed members of the jury and remaining competitors. He says he "tried" to be smart and intelligent, but those two traits aren't really a matter of "trying," are they? You kind of are or you aren't. He also tried to maintain his honesty and integrity throughout the game so that the others would trust him. Throughout Matt's speech, someone in editing has gone a little crazy with the "Sounds of the Jungle" CD, and has inserted whip cracking sounds in the background.
Peachy, disbelief in his voice, asks, "Rob, how did you end up in this final four?" Rob responds that he's been asking himself that question all day. He says he's been very fortunate, before launching into a bizarre metaphor involving about zigging when he needed to zig and zagging when he needed to zag. He restates the luck factor, but also credits himself with taking a lot of successful risks.
Peachy announces that there were many times throughout the game when he thought Jenna was going to "try to engineer a quit." He points out that not only is she in the final four now, but that she's there with immunity. Jenna goes on about her "high highs" and her "low lows," saying that there were many times she wanted to quit, but that she would have kicked herself if she gave up. She insists that she's never needed immunity more than she did today, and Rob raises his eyebrows and emphatically nods his head.
Peachy asks Rob just how important immunity is at this point, and how badly he wants it. Rob slow-talks that they're down to four people, one of whom is going home, and that it can't be the person wearing the necklace. In other words: duh, it's important.
Peachy posits that it must have been "a pretty interesting afternoon" around camp, and wonders whether all of the men approached Jenna about her vote. She admits that she talked to all of them, while Rob looks confused. So either Jenna didn't talk to Rob and he's wondering why she claims she did, or she did talk to Rob but swore secrecy, or else he's just constipated again. Jenna says it's obviously been a big "game switch," because she was definitely the in line to go. Peachy asks how it feels to be in the "catbird seat," and she responds that the biggest difference is feeling like she has control, which she's been lacking in the past few votes. It's good to feel like "you can make an important decision."
Butch announces that his votes are based on strategy and staying in the game. Peachy questions whether he hustled during the challenge today to make sure he could stay in the game, and Butch assures Peachy that he did indeed hustle and is indeed trying to stay in the game.
Peachy inquires as to whether Rob tried to get on Jenna's good side, and he jokingly responds that he tried to make her lunch and told her she looked beautiful. Still, he doesn't think you can do anything after the fact to change the mind of someone with immunity -- he thinks it has entirely to do with what you did beforehand. In Rob's case, I'm guessing that likely fact is something he's not particularly pleased about.
So all the blah blah blah wealreadyknowthiscakes is done, and it's time for the voting. Rob holds up Butch's name and announces, "I don't think all the firewood in the forest is gonna keep your torch lit tonight, buddy." He congratulates him on a nice game.
In return, Butch shakes his head and votes for Rob. He wishes him the best and calls him a "good kid."
We don't see Matthew's or Jenna's votes as we lead up to Peachy's tallying, accompanied by the usual torch shots and sighing singers. Personally, I prefer the grunts. The first vote is for Butch, followed by a vote for Rob. Another Butch. And yet another. And so Butch becomes the person voted out of the Amazon, and Rob covers his mouth. Mouth-covering is catching, apparently.
Butch is very gracious to his serious-looking tribemates as he heads over for the extinguishing of his torch. The tribe has spoken, and Butch gives them yet another farewell and a good luck. Meanwhile, Rob attempts to make eye contact with Jenna, who's not having it, and Matthew covers his face and shakes his head. Peachy once again heralds the value of immunity, and how quickly it can change the course of the game. He announces that there's one immunity challenge left -- the biggest of the game, because it not only guarantees its winner a spot in the final two, but also the right to choose who else goes along.
As the non-credits non-roll, Butch says that Survivor was the adventure of a lifetime. He played the game hard and well, and he'll never forget it. He then tells us that he means it when he says "Believe in yourself," and that we can do anything if we set our goals and have our dreams and do them! He sounds very unconvincing and sad as he un-enthuses, "Lookit me. I made it to Survivor." Aw. Poor, dumb Butchie.
We focus on the very full, very orange moon, and then on one skittering animal, followed by many skittering animals. The music skitters, too. The S3 sit inside the shelter and manically swat at themselves and the air around them. Actually, Jenna and Rob manically swat at themselves and the air around them, while Matthew casually fans himself. Rob asks if there's anything they can do about the insects, which Jenna proclaims "like, killer moths." More swatting. More scratching. More casual fanning. Jenna covers her head and Rob pulls himself into a tight little ball making for the least possible amount of flesh for the moths to attack. He then tells us in an exhausted-looking interview that after they thought the worst was over -- the rain -- they were attacked by moths. He continues, "And they just wanted to crash right into us like kamikaze moths!" He doesn't know where they all came from because he hasn't seen one in the thirty-seven days they've been there, but last night they were everywhere. An unfazed Matt agrees that there are a lot of moths, and Rob calls them "crazy," while Jenna concludes that they're "like, dive-bombing."
It's the morning of Day 38, and Matt is hacking again. Rob estimates that each one of them will get sixteen or seventeen manioc patties. We see the patties piled up in rows as Jenna exclaims that it's like the best day of her life: "Babasu nuts up the ass and manioc!" Rob interviews that when they woke up that morning, they decided to have the biggest breakfast of their thirty-eight days in the Amazon. Matthew and Rob agree that they'll not only have the most manioc "to date," but that they'll also have the most babasu. Matthew proclaims it "a big meal for a big day," and Jenna congratulates Rob on the very good manioc patties.
A bird soars for a really long time as they head off on a treemail check. Jenna proposes that they might get a candy bar, while Rob narrates, "Mr. Treemail's got one last thing to tell us." And I'm so glad that whatever Mr. Treemail has to say is not "You've got treemail," again. Matthew encourages Rob and Jenna each to put a hand on the treemail in order to open it up together. It turns out to be a parchment-covered scale, which reads, "It's not a challenge, just fun to do. So step on up, see what's left of you." As the S3 return to camp with the scale, Jenna reveals that she interpreted the clue as "See what's left of you," as in, what's literally off to the left, and that she expected to see something there. Rob calls her crazy. A monkey looks at her like she's crazy. Rob asks, "When it says -- when somebody tells you -- 'that's right' -- do you turn to your right?" Hee. She doesn't, by the way.
Rob interviews that the scale was "a gift from the treemail gods," because they've all been dying to know how much they weigh. Matt is first, and he weighs 64 kilos. He was 80 kilos at the beginning of the game, and calculates a difference of 16 kilos. Jenna does me a favor by asking, "And that all means what?" A strange "Huh!" sound effect punctuates her question. Matthew responds that 2.2 kilos equal one pound, and then tells us that when he converted the kilos back to pounds, he realized that he went from 173 to 148 pounds and has lost twenty-eight pounds. He thinks he's lost most of the fat on his body, and now he's losing muscle.
As a monkey looks on in interest, we see that Rob weighs 60 kilos. He converts it to 130 pounds, but he doesn't think that it's correct. I'm with him on that one. He's skinnier than before, but unless he's about five foot two, he's no 130. In an interview he tells us his body has deteriorated and "turned against itself" for the past thirty-eight days, and that he's lost almost a pound a day. Rob asks for a pen to calculate the conversion, and Matt wants to know what he started at. Rob tells us he came into the game weighing 170 pounds and now weighs about 138 pounds, "which is ridiculous."
Jenna is very eager to jump on the scale and proudly announces, "I weigh 46 kilos." She looks back at the men for their reactions, but Matt just wants to do math. She interviews that she started at 118 pounds and now weighs 99 pounds, and that's a lot to lose.
As Rob continues to question the scale's accuracy regarding his own weight, Jenna asks, "What about mine?" Because "mine" is all that matters in her world. Meanwhile, Rob is scratching equations in the sand. Clearly, he's no John Nash. Matthew weighs himself again and asks, "So what's the difference in kilos?" but I thought he was the one who knew in the first place. In any case, Jenna's direct response to his question is, "I weigh 45 kilos, and I started at 118 pounds." Again, with the all about Jenna. She happily interviews that it's not good to lose that much weight, but thinks it will be really fun to gain it all back.
Peachy, in his fashionable -- and possibly light blue, or else the coloring of my television is off -- cargo pants, struts into camp. Rob invites him in as they all greet him enthusiastically, and Jenna voice-overs that he came into camp and she felt like she was "in a dreamland." Hee. I know a few women who agree that being in the same room with Peachy would be a "dreamland." He congratulates them on surviving thirty-eight days, and says he "thought it might be fun" for them to have a look at the Amazon from a slightly different view -- up above. He's booked a seaplane to provide an "aerial tour" of the area they've been calling home, and suggests that they put the game on hold for those few minutes and attempt to take it all in because they're never going back there again. When the ride is over, they'll be dropped off at a new, smaller canoe, and will follow a map to a destination, where they'll find beads, paints, feathers, and a headdress for each of them. He tells them that they're going to "decorate and adorn your body" just like Amazon warriors did when they prepared for battle because "in a sense" that's what they're doing as they prepare for the last immunity challenge. When they're all glammed up, the S3 will boat straight to Tribal Council, which Matthew think is "awesome," for some reason. They effusively thank Peachy. Do they think he gets a vote or something?
As the S3 head off in the canoe -- with Jenna actually paddling -- Matthew travelogues that the opportunity to ride on the seaplane and "go above the canopy" to see the many inaccessible things was amazing. He says they were happy and excited -- it felt like a reward for all the time they'd spent there. We see the plane in the murky water as Matthew adds that they "paddled up to the seaplane, climbed in, and we were off! We were gone!"
The plane propeller clunks a few rotations before getting itself together, and the plane takes off to the accompaniment of swirling, dramatic music. The plane soars; the scenery is pretty; the land is green; the water is blue and sparkly. Jenna and Rob admire a dolphin down below, and the driver looks like my husband's godfather. Hi, Uncle Tony! More soaring plane. More green. More blue. Matt has his arm around Uncle Tony. We see Jenna staring straight ahead at the front of the plane -- maybe there's a mirror there? -- while Rob stares at her; Jenna voice-overs that it's hard to grasp how large and beautiful the Amazon is, and it's something everyone should try to experience once in their lives. Matthew enunciates his way through "We saw rolling, green carpets of jungle," and further explains that it was an exhilarating feeling to escape camp and take in their surroundings from "high above the jungle floor." He says it's difficult to describe in words, but that it didn't stop him from trying. Rob voice-overs that it was a nice opportunity to enjoy the amazing scenery "that [they've] been a part of out here." He doesn't heed Peachy's advice, though, as he tells us that strategies are still in play and that "this game is pretty far from over."
The plane lands, and we see the S3 paddling along as Matthew continues to J. Peterman that they "boarded" a small canoe and "navigated through a weed-choked river" to a small hut. "Weed-choked"? As sophisticated as he tries to sound, it quickly disappears as he picks up a small item, holds it over his groin, and asks, "And what's this? Like, some sort of crotch protector?" Rob snits, "I don't think it's a cup!" and Jenna snarks, "It's a little small to be a cup there, cowboy." Matthew happily echoes, "Cowboy!" As we see the various craft opportunities, Jenna tells us from a redheaded interview that they had cool stuff, including beads and flowers, and that they decorated themselves and "went crazy and paint[ed] each other's faces." We see shots of the S3 bedecking themselves and each other, and they appear to have a little guidebook of tribal facial decorations. Jenna ties a floral garter on her thigh. The music then slows down to boings, and then even slower to a dramatic hum. Rob, who has war stripes on his face now, voice-overs that he doesn't know what's ahead for the immunity challenge, but what he does know is that it's the most critical immunity of the game. He's prepared for everything -- "mental, physical, anything" -- which is his first big mistake, since the last immunity challenge is always an endurance challenge. He concludes, "This one could cost me a million dollars if I'm not successful here today."
As the S3 continue ministering to each other, Matthew voice-overs that if Jenna or Rob wins the immunity, he won't have to cast a vote against the third person. He points out that that third person would most likely favor him over the one who voted him onto the jury, so it could be a wise strategic move to throw the challenge. He fusses with some feathers tied around his arm, but I think he's just trying to hide the fact that he likes smelling his own armpits.
As Matthew crowns Jenna with her headdress, she commands, "Watch the makeup!" She then interviews that it's time for the serious players to be in the game; she's worked hard to get there, but she doesn't know whom she can beat in the final two or what the jury is thinking. She tells us that Rob "burned" her, HeiDDi, Alex, and "the whole alliance." The whole alliance," incidentally, consists only of the people she just named. In any case, she thinks Rob might be the easier person to defeat, but that it's out of her hands after the challenge, so she refuses to stress over it. Matt ands Rob have matching green and white headdresses, while Jenna's is very colorful and much more peacock-like.
The S3 paddle through a silvery river at dusk while dramatic music crescendos. It looks like they're paddling through grass, though, because the river is so narrow and and so much lower than the grass.
The sun sets, and the sky oranges, blues, and then oranges again. A drumbeat accompanies their entrance to the Tribal Council set. The jury comes in; HeiDDi is less tramped-out then yesterday, but she's still all Pamela Anderson. Butch cleans up to look exactly like your middle-school principal. Unless your middle-school principal was a woman, in which case he looks like your middle-school principal's husband.
Peachy is glad that the S3 embraced "the warrior preparation part of [their] afternoon." He repeats that they are beginning their final immunity challenge, which will take place on the Tribal Council set and be observed by the self-important jury. Peachy further explains that the challenge will be followed immediately by Tribal Council, where the immunity holder will not only vote out the fourteenth member of the tribe, but will also decide who goes with them into the final vote. Again, it's the most important decision of the game. Blah. I think "most important decision of the game" may have officially replaced "once these votes are read, the decision is final" as the most irksome phrase in the Survivor lexicon. Peachy is way too accustomed to dealing with stupid people.
This, Peachy claims, is the "purest" immunity challenge yet, because it's entirely based on will. The S3 will stand barefoot on a narrow wooden perch, holding their headdresses above them. Peachy will put collars around their necks with a string of beads attached to their headdress so they can't move too far forward or to the side. It's all very Secretary. Their goal is to outlast the others on the perch: if the player falls off the perch, or if his or her headdress touches any part of his or her head or body, the player's out of the game.
Jenna hands over the necklace and Peachy dramatically announces, "For the last time, this tattered immunity necklace is back up for grabs." He's really working his vocab with the "tattered." He commands the S3 to remove their shoes, take spot behind their perches, hold their headdresses up, step up, find a comfortable spot, relax, and find their balance. The S3 wiggle their feet off over the edges of the perch as Peachy asks, "Everybody feeling good?" Jenna makes a meek noise in response. He further asks, "Are you comfortable?" to which she responds, "No." Peachy asks, "Are you balanced?" to which Jenna also responds, "No." Peachy begins the challenge anyway, and the S3 assume the position. Jenna appears to be wiggling the most and occasionally grunting in discomfort. We see close-ups of their hands and concentrating faces. After a few wobbling seconds (there's no on-screen clock, so we can't tell how long he lasted), Matthew steps off his perch, and it looks like Jenna mouths, "Shit." Peachy tells the others to "hold tight" as he orders Matthew to "squat" on the floor. Alex covers his mouth in surprise at Matthew's early ejection -- or at the far more interesting turn of the game toward S&M.
Rob immediately asks if Jenna wants to make a deal, and she laughs in response while Matthew looks interested. Jenna insists that they should just "fight it out" and then let them winner pick whomever he or she wants to pick. I'd guess Rob is feeling pretty concerned by that response right about now. HeiDDi has a big smile, though, because Jenna said they could pick whomever, they want, so clearly she'll pick HeiDDi! Peachy asks whether Matthew is surprised that Rob tried to make a deal; Matthew admits to some surprise, claiming that if he were in that position, he might do the same thing, but that he didn't do well enough to find out.
Peachy announces that they've made it past the tough point and found their balance. We close up on Jenna's shaking ankles, and both feet hanging almost entirely over the perch's edge. She has very bendy toes. Rob appears to be doing fairly well, and Jenna sneaks sideways glances in his direction as the music swells, so we know someone's falling off soon. I just noticed that Jenna has a thick floral wreath around her ankle -- that can't help much in this challenge. Peachy credits them for making an "impressive showing" to the jury, who look more bored and angry than anything else. Now Rob appears to be worsening, and while Jenna continues to eye him, his head and arms very slowly fall forward, until the beaded string pulls him over and off the perch.
Peachy tells Jenna to step down before sternly announcing that she now has the most important immunity. The men congratulate Jenna, who looks happy, but not as happy as I'd expect her to look. Peachy announces, "Jenna, this is a ceremony!" and huh? As he puts the necklace around her neck, he points out that she has a lot of decorations on, but none more valuable than the immunity necklace. She refrains from talking about the irreplaceable value of her "pledge crown."
Peachy announces that Jenna must be feeling good as the holder of immunity and "in the driver's seat," and she surprisingly manages not to gloat. He then claims that Rob hung in there, and Rob responds that he doesn't feel like he's in "a great position," but that he did the best he could, and can't do anything else at this point. He obligatorily rushes through saying that Jenna did a great job.
Peachy eagerly points out that Matthew was the first person eliminated, and quickly so. Is he worried that Jenna might say he doesn't deserve to be in the final round because of his poor showing? Matthew also did his best, but exhaustion affected his performance. He says that Jenna did an exceptional job in winning the challenge, and that she'll make the right decision because "it's her decision to make."
Peachy asks what Jenna will base her decision on, and she earnestly responds that she's looking for someone who earned it, but also for a good competition. Peachy starts to question her: "So you don't wanna --" and she cuts him off to respond emphatically, "I don't want someone I can beat." He confirms that she's not looking for the "easy mark," and Jenna insists that "winning is beating your best competition," and that she meant it when she said it during a Tribal Council. Peachy points out that the difference between a million dollars and $100,000 rides on this decision, and Jenna's only answer is that she played the game well, and that good competition never hurts.
Peachy's not getting anywhere with changing her mind, and so turns toward the "big, big decision." Matthew can't vote for Rob and Rob can't vote for Matthew, and so their votes are canceled out. Only Jenna casts a vote, and it's time. As she heads toward the voting booth, Rob and Matthew exchange "good luck"s, and Matthew says, "May the best man go to the final two."
We don't see Jenna's vote because we have to wait for Peachy's dramatic interpretation of it. He returns and Shakespeares, "I will read the vote!" He takes his time before flipping it over and reveal that Rob is the fourteenth person voted out of the game, and the last member of the jury. He jumps to his feet and shakes hands with the others. Matthew wishes him "good luck," which is just as strange a thing to say as we've come to expect from Matthew. All the members of the jury appear to be grinning. And so goes Rob, and along with him all the humor from the show. Because in a three-hour episode, even ridiculously bad humor is better than no humor at all.
Peachy congratulates Matthew and Jenna for working hard to get to this point, which is as far as they can go on their own in the game. The power now shifts to the jury, with one final Tribal Council in which the S2 will have the chance to plead their cases. He tells them to "think about that!"
In his closing words, Rob asks what he can say after thirty-eight days. He has no complaints and wouldn't change how he played the game. He concludes, "I said I wasn't gonna stop smilin' until they put my torch out. And you know what? I'm still smiling."
The sun rises on Day 39, and Jenna wants to know where their white paint is as they walk toward their calendar. They painstakingly work together to draw a single straight line, as Jenna announces that it's the last time they'll mark their Amazon calendar. Matthew seems amazed that they're the only ones there to witness it. Jenna then pokes the tree on which they've drawn the calendar, announcing that she'll put her fingerprint there "just in case anybody ever wants to arrest me." As we see them continuing to work on the line, Matthew voice-overs that it's "wrap-up" time. He's sad to see it come to an end, because it's been an amazing and unforgettable experience.
The rain clouds roll in, and Matthew and Jenna sit forlornly under the tent. Jenna voice-overs that the weathers been "horrid," and that they decided to "take a look back" and "kinda write everybody's name in white paint in the order they got kicked off. She says this is a ritual about the memories and the people, both of which she claims are important.
Jenna sings Ryan's name as she writes it down. The S2 agree that he was the first person voted off, before Matthew says he was a "pretty decent guy." What a testament to Ryan!
Jenna's not interested, though, and cuts Matthew off to say that Janet was like her mother in the game. Because she was "motherly." Matthew responds, "She was voted off? Damn!"
Actually, he might have exclaimed "Dan!" but how random is that? There's something funky going on with the sound in this segment -- I believe the editors are layering Matt and Jenna's voices over each others so that it flows as a seamless conversation, but the end result is that they seem like they're ignoring each other. In any case, Dan was also a "decent guy," and it was tough to see him go. Jenna never got to meet him. Lucky Jenna. Lucky Dan, too, come to think of it.
It's time to reminisce over Joanna, and Matthew can only say that the members of Tambaqui thought she was "probably pretty tough to deal with." Hee.
Jeanne was a hard worker, who made Jenna eat her nasty balls, even though Jenna doesn't know that yet.
Jenna singsongs Shawna's name as well, and Matthew definitely remembers her. We also remember her -- either retching or laughing, for the most part, which are the two clips they choose to accompany the Shawna segment.
Matthew snidely proclaims Roger "everyone's favorite." We see a quick clip of Roger likely telling the others what to do.
Jenna won't ever forget Davey Rockett's cries of "Booyah!" and "Bangarang!" Evidently, I've forgotten the "bangarang" part, but maybe I just put it out of my mind.
Deena peers out of a bathtub in a clip, while Jenna explains that she is a strong women with great character. Bitch.
Jenna rambles on about the great time she had with Alex at the Amazon Café.
Matthew thought Christy was the "most independent-minded person" of all the members of the women's tribe. This is accompanied by a clip of Christy kicking Jenna's ass in the log-rolling contest.
Matthew announces, "Your buddy!" as the discussion turns to HeiDDi. Jenna doesn't want to talk about it, because it'll make her cry. Hearing people says good things about HeiDDi makes me want to cry, too. Not that it happens very often. In a clip, HeiDDi smiles in a way she thinks is winning.
Matthew then moves on to "[his] buddy, Butch." He enjoyed Butch's company, and credits his hard work. Butch does the Elbows and Knees Shuffle in a brief clip.
is a clip of Rob smiling beatifically while wearing the immunity necklace. Matthew says he owes Rob, and begins to explain why, but the sound trails off. This must have been some boring footage if that's all we get for the "Fallen Comrades" portion of the episode this season. Either the bulk of the S16 are bores or -- and this is the more likely conclusion -- the S2 themselves are bores.
As the camera pans over the names written on the side of a crate, Jenna tells us, "And that sums up fourteen people!" She says they never would have met each other in real life, and that the process of remembering them was closure to a chapter in their lives that won't ever really be closed, but at least will be bookmarked and closed for the time being.
Still water. A bird successfully stands on a perch without wobbling, falling off, or dropping its headdress. Matthew fishes and voice-overs that it feels great that the strategic part of the game is over. Tinkly music plays as he adds that it's been an "incredible evolution" for him to go from being the underdog with "everyone gunning for [him] at every corner," and eventually learn how to build strategy and make it to the final two. He concludes, "It's almost absurd...but somehow I did it."
A fish bubbles the water as we see Matthew in the new, small, red canoe while he voice-overs that he noticed their old boat floating nearby while he was fishing. He guesses that they forgot to tether it after boarding the seaplane, and that they won't be needing it much longer as it's the thirty-ninth day. Wee see him tugging the boat back to camp as he explains that he has some "ideas how [they] can, uh, use it." He piles wood into the boat and voice-overs that, in addition to the wood, he's planted the tribe's "treemail dude" on top, along with some "artifacts" from their campfire. His plan is to "basically light it on fire and send it off," and he thinks it's a great way to get some "closure" on the experience.
Matthew fusses with the direction the "treemail dude" is facing, while Jenna looks on impatiently. She announces, "Let's torch it!" but the "treemail dude" already looks kind of torched. Matthew douses the boat liberally with oil from their lanterns as Jenna says she's "ready to see it burn." Matthew claims he's going to step back to "light this baby," but he doesn't step back nearly far enough and comes very close to torching himself in the process. The boat ignites, and Matthew draws his arm back as Jenna ducks. We get it again in slow motion, which clearly shows the outline of Matt's body inside the giant conflagration. Jenna yells, "That was great!" before asking the surprisingly non-charred Matt, "Are you all right?" He responds, "It got my eyebrows, but that's cool" as he turns to the boat, which is still sitting on the shore, endangering the part of the jungle they haven't already destroyed. A wary crocodile looks on and ducks as Jenna orders Matt to "push that bad boy out there!" Matthew wades out under the pretense of pushing the boat, but you know he's soothing his burns. His back is turned, but we see him playing with his face -- presumably checking to see if his eyebrows are still there. As the boat floats off, Jenna voice-overs that the game is over, and that it's out of their hands because they've done all they can do. The jury questions are their last chance to "cement" their feelings about themselves and each other. She feels like the majority of the jury members already have their decisions made.
Jenna and Matt stare at their calendar and congratulate themselves again on being the final two. Jenna asks, "Who woulda thought?" No one. Except anyone who read ChillOne's spoilers, that is. Jenna has drawn a little heart beside her name on the calendar.
As we see the S2 boat off toward their final Tribal Council, Rob voice-overs that the game began as a battle of the sexes, "and in the end it shall be as it was in the beginning: a man versus a woman." Wearing a black wifebeater and looking all cleaned up, Rob whines that both Jenna and Matt played the game dishonestly, even though they both congratulated themselves throughout the game on their integrity. Loyalty is out the window for Rob at this point, and it's all about who did the best job to outwit, outplay, and outlast. He concludes, "Is it Jenna, or is it Matt? I wish there was a choice 'C' -- none of the above -- but there isn't."
The boat continues on its way past a little whirlpool as Christy interviews that Jenna is a strong and charming woman and "she made it all the way, go go." Matt, however, is a sincere, caring and generous person who "everyone likes if you get to know him." This is accompanied by a shot of Matt looking dignified and noble and liked by everyone who gets to know him.
The S2 paddle past the still-burning boat, while Alex voice-overs that he's just looking for an honest response. He says that the jury knows what answers they want to hear, and he just wants to know who's honest enough to say the truth. He wants the person to say, "I played the game. I came here to kick ass. I kicked ass, and that's all there was to it. You don't like it? You should've played better."
HeiDDi Pamela Andersons that tonight's choice will be very easy for her. Jenna is her "#1 Hero," and HeiDDi adores her. She uses finger quotes as she says that Matt has played the game based on his "honesty values," and camera-talks, "Sorry, Matt. It's just not workin' for you." There's a whole lot of HeiDDi that's not working for her, either.
Butch, looking strange without his facial hair, tells us that Matt contributed the most and did more for everyone in the tribe. He concludes, "And Matt would be the one more deserving than Jenna."
A spotted animal slinks into the water.
Deena preaches that they're dealing with two completely different personalities between Matt and Jenna: "the workhorse" and "the sex goddess." Both used their abilities to their advantage because, "Matt worked his way to the top; Jenna...played her way to the top."
Davey Rockett tells us it's amazing at Tribal Council to witness all the bull people throw out. A crocodile looks at the bull that's paddling by. Davey Rockett claims that it isn't friendship, honesty, or integrity that got Jenna and Matthew to the final two; it was other people pulling them along. His vote will be based on the answer to his question this evening. He wants them to think, and give an intelligent answer, and then see if "they start talkin' out of their ass again." Hee.
Shadow passes over the moon again as the S2 arrive at Tribal Council. Peachy has on the bright blue shirt. Yippee! The jury comes in accompanied by the groaning soundtrack. HeiDDi has her slut costume on again. Not that it's particularly distinguishable from her regular clothes. And why do I feel like if you put HeiDDi in a nun's costume she'd somehow manage to skank it up?
Peachy grins as he welcomes the S2 to their final Tribal Council. He congratulates them before explaining that, tonight, the game shifts. Jenna and Matthew either directly or indirectly had a hand in voting out the fourteen other people they started the game with, and tonight, they won't cast a vote, because blah blah the power shifts to the jury, blah blah seven people, blah blah hand in voting out, blah blah fate in their hands. Tonight's Tribal Council is the jury's last chance to gather the information they'll need to decide which one is the most deserving of the title and the million dollars. In a minute, Peachy says, Matthew and Jenna will have a chance to address the jury with their "opening statements," and as we go to commercial, he snits, "Think about what you're going to say."
Another moon shot. This time it's not orange. Jenna doesn't have much to say. She feels like they know enough about her "to make an educated decision, which I know that you will." She played the game "morally," and that means a lot to her. She concludes, "So I'm just gonna end it right there."
Matthew feels like he's done a lot for the tribe, and cites his fishing skills. He thinks he's shown he is dedicated to the tribe, and also that he's a serious competitor who plays with "heart" and has a "never say die" attitude. As Alex rolls his eyes, Matthew says he played the game honorably while maintaining "a level of morality and integrity throughout." He concludes, "And I just wanted to share that with you."
It's now the jury's turn, and Peachy tells them that they can comment or ask a question. Butch is first; he congratulates Matthew and Jenna and begins with his question, but there's a sudden rustling overhead, and Matthew is particularly alert as he yells, "Heads up!" He ducks, but it comes down much more closely to Butch, who also ducks. Jenna doesn't even flinch. Peachy jokes that Butch might want to rethink his question, because "the Amazon is speaking." A flustered Butch continues delivering his clearly rehearsed remarks. He's heard the S2 tossing around the words "honesty" and "integrity," and wants to know if they're claiming that they haven't lied or been deceitful in the game. He wants a "yes" or "no" answer, which they both disregard. Jenna responds that she lied to Deena when she voted against her. She did it because Deena betrayed her and the alliance, and it was the only move to make. On the jury, Deena doesn't look particularly bothered. Matthew lied to Roger -- who, he makes a point of saying, isn't on the jury -- as part of "an alliance strategy at the time to eliminate him." He also "deceived" Alex in order to save his own skin. Butch appreciates their answers.
Rob would like to hear why Matthew and Jenna think the person to them doesn't deserve to be there. He claims that their answers will determine his vote. He delivers his question as if he's pondering the meaning of life. Matthew rides the "workhorse" platform again as he says that Jenna didn't work as hard as the rest of the group did to contribute at camp. He never saw Jenna collect or boil water, gather wood, or help with the shelter. Also, there were times when Jenna expressed a desire to give up; Matthew felt like that was "really inappropriate," and it affected his feelings toward her. For some reason, Rob looks skeptical. Jenna doesn't think Matt played the game from the beginning, and instead "took the opportunity to tag along at the end of an alliance." Rob emphatically shakes his head in agreement. Huh? Jenna adds that Matthew doesn't need the money, doesn't care about the people, and she doesn't feel like it's a big deal for him; instead, it's "just another adventure on his list of things to do."
Alex struts up to Matthew and Jenna, announcing that the jury has "sat around" and listened to them at Tribal Council. He never wants to hear the words "honesty" and "integrity" again; those words have lost all meaning for him. He asks each of them to tell him their biggest regret in the game. Jenna most regrets putting too much trust in untrustworthy people. She says, "Why would somebody be honest to me all the time, when they have a chance to be dishonest and win a million dollars?" She calls that one of her faults, but isn't that really just faulting other people? Matthew most regrets his naïveté at the beginning of the game, and his initial decision to support Ryan, his alliance and voting strategy, which, he claims, started the process of people regarding him as a threat. It resulted in two weeks of "near depression" for him. I wonder what getting one vote in the final Tribal Council will result in?
HeiDDi needs help climbing down from her place on the jury bleachers. She congratulates Matt and Jenna and says, "I understand that the two of you are trying to outdo each other here," but since she's part of the jury and is "deciding [their] fate," she'd like to know if there's a person on the jury who is more deserving. If they don't feel that way, it's fine, in which case they should explain why they themselves are more deserving. As a steely-faced Rob looks on, Matthew says he deserves his seat. He was an amazing strategist, and Matthew's in debt to him forever because without Rob and "without his...I would even call it tutelage," there's no way he'd be there today. If he'd won the immunity, Rob would be to him, and Rob deserves it more than Jenna. Jenna says that, "unfortunately," she'll have to echo Matthew and go with Rob. She says that when it game down to "strategical gameplay and just general wealth of knowledge of the game, Rob has all that encompassed into one." In a hysterical moment, HeiDDi twitches and says, "I mean, just, I think that -- is that the only person?" Rob covers his face and looks away as a near-laughing Peachy says, "I think they covered it. Yeah." HeiDDi fidgets some more, and agrees.
One of Jenna's responses concerned Deena, who points out that Jenna said Matt shouldn't be there because he doesn't need the money, and asks whether Jenna really thinks their votes should be judged on need and not the way they've played the game. Jenna thinks need should come into it, because that's how she would vote if she were on the jury. So, in other words, because she would vote that way, the others should, too. Deena then says that Matt "very boldly and very clearly stated" a few Tribal Councils ago, "May the best man win." ["Actually, it was 'every man for himself.' -- Wing Chun] Deena was offended, and doesn't know if Jenna was, but thinks it was "a load of hooey." Matthew doesn't remember saying it, but if he did, he "completely regret[s] it." He laughs as he says he's not a chauvinist, and that he's happy Deena pointed it out. Still, he acknowledges that the comment may have reflected his belief that the men had it "all locked up."
Christy stretches as Peachy grins and lowers his head. Peachy loves himself some Christy. She asks Matt what his initial reaction was to finding out he was competing "with a deaf woman like" her. Matthew claims that his reaction was, "You were gonna be, really, just like everyone else." He says he didn't treat her any differently. She further questions whether his opinion of her changed when he found out she was deaf, and he responds that it didn't, adding, "I thought you had a funky accent, that's all." Christy "found it very fascinating" when Jenna said she was handicapped by her beauty. Christy chokes up as she explains that she wonders how that was a handicap, and that she's never heard such a statement "outside of [sic] the real world." Jenna doesn't know if she ever used the word "handicap," but Christy -- and the rest of the viewing population -- remembers quite clearly. Jenna claims she was directly responding to a question about perceptions, and that she didn't mean to compare it to Christy's experiences as a deaf woman. Christy's not having it, and further questions whether Jenna really felt "that [she has] had a handicap because [she's] beautiful." Jenna immediately responds that she didn't mean it like that, but because she was twenty-one "and attractive-looking, and being a swimsuit model," people judge her as unintelligent, not tough, and unable to think for herself.
Davey Rockett grins and says, "Evening," before asking, "What modern influential leader have you emulated during this game, and what qualities do you feel, from that individual, that you've shown best?" Davey Rockett explains that he's looking for common characteristics between the S2 and their role models, but really he's just showing that he can use the word "emulated" in a sentence. Matt responds "Colin Powell," while Alex makes a face of disbelief. He claims that "his whole concept of versatility" was a critical factor in his success. Jenna thinks it's "a really great, great question," but that she can't think of a modern leader that she emulated because chooses to emulate people that she knows really well -- "not just what I see on TV or read." She cites both her parents as role models, but mostly her mother because of her fight and strength, which she says are too very important qualities both in the game and in real life. Davey Rockett is very satisfied by the answer.
Peachy advises the jury to "take a moment and think about it," as the soundtrack grunts. Jenna and Matthew sit with their chins in their hands, looking like six-year-olds who were just informed that they couldn't go outside to play today.
Another full moon. This episode has more moons than the one in which Jenna and HeiDDi took their clothes off. Matthew and Jenna have yet another chance to address the jury; haven't they said enough already? Matthew realizes that he's lied and been deceptive, and he now knows that it's part of the game. He doesn't "belong on a pedestal" because he's lied and betrayed, and he's realized that he doesn't have the integrity or moral character that he preaches. Still, he's played the game to the best of his ability, learned a lot along the way, and that's all.
Jenna thanks the jury for "really poking and prodding" with their questions, because they gave her a chance to look back at things she's done in the game that she'd forgotten or wanted to put out of her mind. She might not be the "strongest person to cut down all the trees," but she put in work at camp and during the challenges. She claims that when it came down to saving her own butt, she did it through her determination, and she was really proud of herself.
Peachy reminds the jury that the voting is different: tonight they're voting for the winner. He reiterates, "So, Matthew and Jenna, you want your name written down tonight."
Butch congratulates both Jenna and Matthew and is proud to have known them. As he votes for Matt, he appreciates his honesty in admitting that he lied and deceived. It meant a lot to him. He says, "Matthew, you are the true Survivor of Survivor 6."
Alex grins in the voting booth, and Deena stares down the camera. We don't see their picks.
HeiDDi tosses her hair back and whispers that she's voting for Jenna because she adores and loves her, and because Jenna played the game hard. She says "more importantly," Jenna was the only one HeiDDi could trust and respect under the most adverse circumstances. She wraps it up, "Good luck, girl."
Christy removes the pen lid and prolongedly winces at the camera. We don't see her vote.
We don't see Davey Rockett's either, but we do see him try to sneak a peek inside the voting urn.
Rob votes for a person who showed the will and determination to make it to the final two. He says he'll give credit where is due: there are only two players in this entire game that he didn't vote off. Huh? Is he patting himself on the back?
So the voting is done, and although Peachy would "love to read these votes right now," he'd rather hop on a jetski and zip on over to Manhattan, where they votes will be revealed. Jenna covers her face as if it's a surprise, while Matthew looks uncomfortable. Peachy self-importantly heads down the Tribal Council steps, and hops onto said Skidoo. He zooms it around in a circle, his Old Navy cargo pants billowing in the wind. We see a last shot of the Tribal Council, and the nervous Jenna and Matthew.
Clouds roll, and suddenly Peachy is racing his jetski through an open ocean and past a huge red steamer ship. He zooms up to the Manhattan skyline and crosses under a bridge as the audience -- who are presumably watching this on a screen -- cheers. Yay! Peachy can ride a jetski! Patriotic music plays as he jetskis right up to the Statue of Liberty, which he surprisingly does not salute. He then zips his jetski around and continues on his way to the dock, executing a fancy jump in the process. More skyline footage. Racing cars. Day turns to night. Peachy -- rolling up his sleeve and clutching the urn -- arrives at a subway station while the audience laughs and cheers. He slips onto a train at the last minute, looking very haggard. Subway lighting doesn't do anyone any favors. A woman in a purple beret stares at him and his urn. As he gets off the train and comes up the steps, it starts raining, and there are droplets on the camera lens. He arrives at the Late Show with David Letterman theater, and the crowd is on their feet to his arrival.
Peachy struts up onto the stage as the camera scans the hooting crowd. A graphic reads "Jenna's family," but they're just showing us Peachy. Probably, Jenna's family members have gone into the witness protection program. And there's Richard Hatch!
Peachy wants to "get to it." He "hello"s them like Newman from Seinfeld, and points out that the jury is looking good. It's been a great season, but it's time to ruin it. Actually, he says it's time to close it, but that it's the same thing in this case. He credits Rob for saying it best: the season started as a battle of the sexes and it's only fitting for it to end the same way. It was a long thirty-nine days, but you don't get to the final two without doing something right. Or terribly wrong, in the cases of many. Jenna looks like Miss Parker from The Pretender. (In real life, her name is Andrea Parker. I just looked it up.) Matthew, meanwhile, looks...well, spiky.
Before he reads the votes, though, Peachy wants to do something different: he wants to check in and see how confident the S2 feel. He asks Matthew, of the seven jury members, how many people's votes he expects to receive. Spiky Mathew thinks he'll have two votes for him and five against, which he says is "not very optimistic." As we'll all find out momentarily, it turns out to be overoptimistic, if anything. The audience laughs and then trails into booing while Jenna shakes her head. Matthew further says that Butch and Christy probably voted for him, while Rob is the wild card. Jenna hopes that Alex and HeiDDi voted for her, but thinks the most votes went to Matt. Peachy says that they're being "humble," while they hug each other, laugh, and look disturbingly snuggly.
Peachy announces that he'll read the votes and -- again -- they want to see their names. In addition to a Saturn Ion (one of which Matthew already won), they also get "bragging rights" and "a little thing about the million dollars that comes with it." I'm not sure Jenna needs any more "bragging rights."
There are seven votes inside the urn, so four are needed to win. Matthew and Jenna continue looking cozy. He has his arm around her, and she rests her head on his shoulder. He then rubs her back, and she makes a fuss of placing his hand in hers. Why do they look like a couple in love? Ew. Peachy tells them to "get settled" as they continue to settle themselves.
The first vote for Matthew receives audience applause. Jenna watches him lovingly while he shakes his head. The second vote for Jenna is read as someone screams loudly in the audience. A surprised-looking Jenna receives two more votes in succession as Matthew nods his head and tries to look like this was exactly what he expected. Peachy stares at the vote for a long time before announcing, "The winner of Survivor: Amazon..." It's Jenna! It's Jenna? It's Jenna! (When you read those three please do so with the following inflections: "It's Jenna!" #1: shock; "It's Jenna?" #2: disbelief; "It's Jenna!" #3: fury). Matthew hugs Jenna, who is crying. Peachy dodges her kiss. Hee. The S16 and jury members pile onto the stage and try to look happy for her. We see a quick shot of Jenna's family, who don't look all that happy; after all, she was spoiled silly before, what will they have to deal with now? Ryan and Daniel can't wait for the chance to hug her because they never got a chance to in the Outback. Shots of the S16 alternate with close-ups of people in the audience we don't know.
Peachy comes to the foreground of the stage and asks, "How. Did. This. Happen?" He further clarifies by asking how a "spoiled twenty-one-year-old swimsuit model [got] all six votes?" He throws the other votes into the air as he calls the contest a "landslide" and "the biggest vote in Survivor history." He points out that Jenna even got Christy's vote, and we see a shot of her "freakin' evil stepsisters" comments. Peachy then promises us that we'll soon hear from Rob, "the smartest player to never win," and also how Matthew feels to have received only one vote. We'll also find out whether Matthew's really "nuts or was it an act?" Peachy tells us that we're live from Manhattan, and the reunion show is coming up. And coming soon to a recap. And here's a happy Joanna: Rudy's there! Yay Rudy!