The Chain

Previously on Survivor, the Jacke tribe finally figured out what the rest of us have known all season: Matthew is a serial killer. Sadly, HeiDDi didn't find out the hard way. Rob Base(ment) pretended to want Davey Rockett to leave because he was a threat and not because the ladies liked him better. Deena and Davey Rockett took separate baths and peeked at each other around a curtain, while Davey Rockett grinned at her adorably. Davey Rockett, by the way, did nearly everything adorably. Jenna did nothing to earn immunity, but she won it anyway, and then Davey Rockett got unanimously voted out. Eight remain. Who will be voted out tonight?

It's dawnish on Day 25 at Jacke. Rob Base(ment) paces while Matthew works on the fire and Jenna scratches herself in her sleep. In a night vision shot, Rob Base(ment) whispers that he has something to talk to Matthew about: he's "privy" to information about "some females with this tribe" who are unhappy with Deena's "leadership role." Okay. Last week with the "in cahoots," and this week with the "privy"? Is he 24 or 240? In a confessional, he tells us, "Every morning I give Matt a debriefing of the wild goose chases I want him to work on for the day just to keep his mind busy so he doesn't really have any chance to figure out what's actually going on." During this statement, we see shots of a wide-eyed Matthew nodding, grinning, and appearing to completely buy everything Rob Base(ment) says. Rob Base(ment) whispers, "This is very highly confidential," as Bond-style music begins playing in the background. Hee. He tells Matt that Deena has been warning the women that Matt is the biggest threat, to which Matt responds that everyone has thought he was the biggest threat since the second day. The music escalates, suggesting that someone with a sense of humor evolved beyond "potty" has infiltrated the Survivor production team. Rob, who is wearing his buff Aunt Jemima-style, explains that he's been "filling Matt's head with a lot of crazy stuff," including that the men are going to ally to vote off all the women, but they need Butch's help to do so. He concludes, "So Matt is off on a bunch of wild goose chases." Matt then tells Rob Base(ment) that he trusts him most of everyone in the tribe, followed by Butch, because he's a "really good guy," but Rob Base(ment) informs him that Butch is on a "need-to-know basis." Their discussion finished, Rob Base(ment) tells Matt that they should return to camp before anyone misses them. As Rob Base(ment) heads off, Matthew says, "You go that way and I'll gothe other way." Hee.

The Bond music funks out with a techno beat as we join the fishing Matt and Butch. Matt suddenly announces, "We're gonna bewe're gonna be a chain." Confused, Butch asks, "A what?" and Matt explains, "A chain. Like a chain link?" In a confessional, he again insists, "It's a chain," and brags that he's Butch's link to what's happening in the game: he'll decide when they speak, and will "initiate all communications," as well as decide how much information Butch gets. To his credit, he doesn't use the word "privy." He proudly concludes, "I'm his lifeline." Back in the fishing boat, Matthew tells Butch that their conversations don't exist and they don't talk about anything. Butch parrots, "We don't talk about anything," and "You initiate all communication." He then tells us in a confessional that it's "like a chain," and then gives some convoluted explanation of a "big four together," and being a link, and broken pieces, and jumping up a spot. Do you think it's like a chain? Because I personally think it can best be described as a chain. But maybe that's just me, thinking it's like a chain. More spy music plays as Matthew silences Butch with, "That's it. No more talk." As if Butch ever really needs silencing.

Back at Jacke, Rob Base(ment) regales the rest of the tribe members with tales of his puppetry. He mocks that when he tells Matt what to do, Matt immediately goes and tells Butch, laughingly saying, "Butch is like [Matthew's] operative." He imitates Matt with, "I told Butch. I said, 'Butch, you're on a need-to-know basis." The tribe collectively snickers, sounding remarkably like Beavis and Butthead. Or in HeiDDi's case, Breasthead. In a confessional, Rob Base(ment) tells us that the tribe wants to vote Matthew off because "we think he's mentally unstable, and we're afraid that he may kill us." He explains that at this point, they're just trying to keep Matthew from knowing he's in line. As we rejoin the group, Jenna earnestly urges, "We need to be cautious that he does not feel threatenedor he does not feel like he needs to kill any of us." Hee. Rob Base(ment) asks, "Is Matthew a physical threat? Yeah. To my safety!" Snicker, snicker, snicker.

On a treemail check with Rob Base(ment), Christy and Deena enthusiastically "Oh, no!" over the sight of a dartboard. Rob Base(ment) reads the clue aloud: "Practice, practice, practice. Don't compete in haste. Smell the aroma of victory. Get Brazil's most famous taste." Rob Base(ment) speculates that it might be coffee, as opposed to the other obvious possibility: cocaine. Deena agrees with him because of the "aroma" part, and I think they've all been watching too many Taster's Choice commercials. Rob Base(ment) thinks Matthew will win, while Deena thinks it will be Alex. Meanwhile, Christy is in the background, muttering the clue to herself. As the three head back to camp bearing the dartboard and weapons, Rob Base(ment) announces, "I don't know how good of an idea this is -- to give us a bow and arrow." Aside from the fact that Matthew's a likely serial killer, sharp objects put HeiDDi in serious danger of deflating.

HeiDDi lollingly stares as Deena announces that they have bows and arrows, to which an unidentifiable male member responds, "Nice little orgasm." Just don't ask me what that means. In a confessional, Matthew tells us that each member of the tribe tried the various weapons, taking shots with the arrows, throws with the spears, and blowing a couple darts. This is accompanied by shots of each of them testing the weapons, including a big whiff by Rob Base(ment) and a raised eyebrow from Alex. A raised eyebrow from Alex, incidentally, is the equivalent of emailing in all caps. Surprisingly, they all look fairly decent at the weapon-wielding except for HeiDDi, who would have a chance at winning this challenge, but only if it tested their abilities to throw things sideways and into bushes. Rob Base(ment) tells us in a confessional that the only spears he knew coming into the game were "Britney and broccoli and asparagus." We then see HeiDDi fiddling with the blowdart, asking Rob Base(ment), "Do I need to, like, totally put my mouth around it?" Rob, who has fantasized his entire life about a woman saying that to him, gleefully responds, "Yeah, I think so." Meanwhile, Matthew continues to take successful shot after successful shot, and Rob Base(ment) tells him he's likely to win. Matthew doesn't think it's got to go down like that, and asks Rob Base(ment) what he thinks. Rob Base(ment) responds that if he were in Matt's situation, he'd be thinking the same way. This conversation doesn't make much sense until Rob Base(ment) explains in a confessional that Matthew approached him, claiming that he wouldn't try his hardest because he didn't want people to think of him as a physical threat, to which Rob Base(ment) responded, "Matt! I think you're finally starting to understand this game!" We rejoin their conversation as Matt proudly exclaims, "Dude! I'm learning, man!" Rob Base(ment) jabs himself with the pitchfork-like spear, and Matt is very concerned for his safety. After all, it's no fun if your victims accidentally kill themselves before you get to them!

Peachy welcomes the members of Jacke to the challenge, which he announces will test their proficiency using three weapons indigenous to the Amazon. In the first round, all eight competitors will shoot blow darts. The four tribe members with the highest scores will advance to the second round, during which they will throw spears. This challenge would be so much more entertaining if it actually was a Britney-Spears-throwing contest. Or, for that matter, a broccoli-throwing contest. The top two finishers will move onto the final round -- bows and arrows. Peachy preaches that "one of the things that Brazil is known for is its coffee," and reveals that a "Survivor coffee bar" has been constructed for the winner. He then brings out a cup of coffee and a croissant for them to share, giving it to HeiDDi with the comment, "You take it and figure out what to do with it." Because HeiDDi can't figure out what to do with a cup of coffee and a croissant.

They draw straws to determine their order, and Peachy zealously advises them to "Shoot your blow darts!" Christy goes first, and scores three points by landing in the green zone of the dartboard.

Matthew is , and takes his time before narrowing his eyes and scoring a perfect bull's-eye, worth ten points.

Peachy narrates that Butch "loses the glasses," as he readies himself to shoot. He scores five points and stares down the dartboard. He's believing in himself! He's believing in himself!

Rob Base(ment), who has really bad posture, heads to take his turn as Peachy announces, "Rob, you look like you're gonna be good at this!" The other members of the tribe alternatively laugh and put their heads in their hands. Rob Base(ment) ties Christy with three points, and plays slappy hands with his lined-up tribe afterwards.

Matthew coaches Alex with, "Nice and slow, dude." Alex scores in the red zone for seven points. Butch congratulates him with a "Good job," but is not entirely convincing in his delivery.

Jenna gets three points as well, and why does no one suck at this?

Cocky Deena is , and ties Butch with five points. With only HeiDDi left to go, Matt is in first place with ten points, followed by Alex with seven, and Butch and Deena tied with five. Jenna, Christy, and Rob Base(ment) are out of the competition.

As HeiDDi prepares for her turn, Peachy goads her with, "Gonna take five to keep you alive." Evidently, she thinks there's a twenty-pointer hidden away in the underbrush, because that's where her arrow lands after barely taking flight. Peachy further disses her with, "That's not a five." Not satisfied that she's been sufficiently mocked, he adds, "Zippo!" Hee. Even Peachy hates HeiDDi.

As it turns out, the reason they're all so successful at this challenge is because they're standing about two and a half feet from the target.

With the first round completed, Matthew, Alex, Butch, and Deena advance to the spear-throwing competition. Matthew is up first this time, and scores a near bull's-eye, causing Peachy to announce, "That's gonna be tough to beat!"

Apparently Deena has taken both comportment and spear-throwing lessons from HeiDDi -- she waggles her tongue and then totally whiffs. Jenna and Rob Base(ment) unenthusiastically clap, and Jenna congratulates her with, "You made it this far." Deena's not down with the hand-slappiness, and totally disses Alex's extended hand.

In any case, Peachy begins the challenge, and Deena makes an annoying, exaggerated gesture of reaching for the beetle larva with both hands, before pausing and pretending to hand it off to Matt. It's not like she could have won anyway even if she'd tried, because Matt swallows the thing whole. Peachy is amazed that he didn't even bother to kill it first, while Matthew creepily mimes the bug crawling down his stomach with his fingers. Just as his hands are approaching a place no man wants a bug to go, the camera cuts away as Peachy exclaims, "That thing is still workin' its way down!" Matthew hopes his digestive juices will battle the bug and win. Meanwhile, the tribe is totally flummoxed by Matthew's amazing bug-eating abilities, and Rob Base(ment) waves his arms in the air and in a hysterical falsetto warbles, "This guy is crazy!" Matt beats his chest while the rest of Jacke hails him, except for Deena, who is either really pissed off or acting really pissed off.

More moon shots and a scan of the landscape bring us to Jacke, where Jenna heads off into the jungle with Deena, while Rob Base(ment) looks on in amused curiosity. In a confessional, Deena condescendingly says, "The mistake that Alex made at the immunity challengewas to lose the immunity challenge." She claims that Alex needed to win to "save his heinie" but it didn't happen. She then volunteers that she would have needed to feel really threatened in order to eat "that grotesque thing," but since everyone is with her, why should she even try? Didn't she learn anything from Roger? Jenna asks Deena what's going on, and Deena again states that Alex has to go . Jenna agrees that it's "understandable." Deena cockily continues her confessional, telling us that she adequately convinced Jenna of Alex's threat, "so he's gone." She obnoxiously singsongs, "Bye, bye, Alex. Bye, bye, Alex." This kind of behavior seems more personal than strategic, so I wonder if there's some conflict between the two of which we're unaware. They both floss their teeth before pinky-swearing on voting off Alex. Jenna tells us in a confessional that Deena betrayed her alliance and stabbed the other members of the group in the back. Now, she's incredibly disappointed and shocked, and she can't forgive Deena's behavior.

Alex sits on the shoreline looking morose. Jenna joins him, telling him that it's the first time she's been pissed off in the game. He agrees. Jenna then repeats Deena approached her about voting Alex off , and didn't we already see this conversation? Alex thinks Deena wants an all-women final four, and Jenna mocks her for saying, "We control this game." She whines that Deena has said that to everyone. Jenna adds that Deena bragged about having Rob Base(ment) wrapped around her finger, and that Rob Base(ment) in turn has Matthew wrapped around his finger. As we will soon find out, the latter part of that statement is more accurate than the first part. Either they're very paranoid or Deena is nearby, as this conversation takes place in whisper. Jenna points out that if Rob Base(ment) turns on them, they're screwed.