Last week on Survivor, Sean sang about a brand new day; Vecepia knew the song, and Kathy pretended to. Zoe didn't like Tammy; Tammy didn't like Zoe, either, so that worked out okay. Paschal and Sean won a Marquesan feast, and Layla was pretty, but too young for Sean. Then, they smuggled some food back for the other members of Soliantu, and Tammy won immunity. Finally, Zoe got voted out and talked about herself in the third person. Seven are left. Who will be voted out tonight?
Also last week, I forgot to turn off my VCR after setting the tape, and thus returned home to an old episode of Alias instead of the May 2 episode of Survivor. Any Alias is good, but it doesn't write the recap, so profound thanks to all those from the forums who so quickly offered to send the tape, and to Anne in Baltimore, who came through with the copy I used. I'm honored to stand before you today, and to call myself your recapper. This moment is so much bigger than me. This moment is for every nameless, faceless recapper who now has a chance to recap because the door tonight has been opened. And with that, I give you...
Soliantu Day 28. The clouds race over the ocean. The clouds race over the peaks. The clouds race over a tiki. Now bring back my tiki to me.
Paschal and Tammy discuss the fact that there are only eleven days left; Paschal calls Tammy "sweetheart." They discuss the cold weather; then Tammy yawns, and her eyes roll back in head. Robert appears to have a new outfit, which includes a black cardigan sweater. I wouldn't have pegged him as the black cardigan sweater type, so now I'm left to wonder when he'll bust out white socks rolled up to his knees. Sean complains that he can't sleep, and Kathy says "lumpy" several times. Lumpy, lumpy, lumpy. It's not that fun to say. Then, they all say "lumpy," so maybe I'm missing the joy in it. Lumpy, lumpy, lumpy. Not quite there yet.
Sean and Paschal hug, because friends who hula together stay together. But friends don't let friend hula drunk, either. Not on a stage, anyway. In a confessional, Sean tells us that the Soliantu tribe is like one big family. He says, "We spoon, we snuggle...but it's strictly for keeping warm." He adds that the idea of the "love tribe" has been a "fallacy." He insists that they can call themselves a "love tribe" when the game is over, but in the meantime, he wonders, "Like, will you really call me? Will I really call you?" Everyone hugs everyone else in a hug-happy montage. Sean tells us that certain people in the group are genuinely affectionate and feel "family vibes," but, he muses, "in the context of a game when people are tryin' to position themselves, can a love tribe truly exist?" And if a tree falls in the forest and there's no perceiver, does it make a sound? And more importantly, if a tree falls in the forest, can it please, please, please fall on Kathy?
We rejoin the group, and Tammy says she'd give anything for the reward in today's challenge to be food. Isn't the reward always food? I guess it could be a visit from home, but even that -- this far along in the game -- comes accompanied by at least a Mountain Dew or Snickers bar. Paschal never thought he could feel the inside of his ribs, but now he can. Neleh channels Jerri and starts moaning about chocolate; she wants Oreos, with "Twix or Snickers ice cream" on top, which is a very specific request. Like, if she just got Oreos, or if the Oreos came with chocolate chip ice cream on top instead of Twix or Snickers, would she be disappointed? The tribe discusses how they plan to inhale the reward food, and Sean says, "Snickers, smores." At this point I refuse to believe that they haven't been coached to mention Snickers, since it's a sponsor, and since there are about forty-five other kinds of candy bars out there, yet Snickers is the only one they bother to talk about. Personally, I'd be all about the Baby Ruth. Now the topic turns to caramel and hot fudge sundaes, and Tammy and Neleh clutch at each other and shriek at how good it sounds.
Back to Kathy, who is now swimming while holding what looks like a little mesh bag. In a voice-over, she says that the "sugar food fantasies" are bad and make everyone lethargic. She thinks they could spend their time better by looking for food instead of thinking and talking about it. She realizes that it's fun, but the diversion is "wrong" and unhealthy. Kathy's trying to get different types of food for the tribe, and that's a better diversion than "sittin' around talkin' about sweets." She scratches herself and sneers at the camera.
Now Sean lies in a pile of hay with his buff pulled completely over his face. He looks remarkably like a scarecrow. He tells the others that he's "hanging onto a thread." When Vecepia asks what he's talking about, he responds that he's incapable of doing anything right now, and is just trying to hold on. Paschal then pulls a Claire Danes and says that Marquesas is "without a doubt the worst place [he has] ever been on earth." He says it's been a constant battle of "dirt, filth, heat, sand, wind, [and] insects"; this is accompanied by corresponding shots of dirt, filth, heat, sand, wind, and insects. He concludes that "everything about it is nasty, dirty, filthy," and "it's just pure hell!" But please, Paschal, tell us how you really feel. Paschal's name, incidentally, was just crossed off the Marquesas Board of Tourism's short list for its spokesperson.
As Vecepia and Sean head off to check the mail, Sean jokes about whether his check has arrived yet. Sean, for once, doesn't wait for the others, and starts reading the clue. We'll hear it in its entirety in a few minutes, so don't think you've been spared. Vecepia wants to know if there's anything else in the mail, and Sean says there is. He reaches in, pulls out a fist, opens it, and blows it toward Vecepia, saying it's a "birthday wish, baby." Aw. He then calls her over to sing "Happy Birthday," standing inches from her face. I wouldn't enjoy that -- particularly given that they've both been out there for twenty-nine days without a toothbrush in sight. As he hams it up, he says, "And I don't even sing," but clearly he thinks he can. Sean commiserates with Vecepia about how bad she feels being away from home, and says he wants to let her know that he loves her. They hug, and she starts crying. In a confessional, she tells us that no one likes to be away from loved ones on their birthday, and that it was tough. She says she hadn't thought too much about being away from Leander, and that it was special, but sad as well. "Leander" is a great name, and there just aren't enough Leanders in this world. In any case, Vecepia's raving about being away from family seems to suggest that the "visit from home" reward challenge is forthcoming. Vecepia then ruins her bonding moment with Sean by claiming, "We're here, and we are going to do this" because "God is with us, each and every day." God is with them helping them to win reward challenges and $1 million dollars? Maybe I need to find their God.
Sean and Vecepia head back to camp shrieking about the treemail. Vecepia announces that somebody might actually get a shower, and then they read the clue together:
Should we just give you treasures?
I wouldn't hold your breath
You're about to hit rock bottom
If you're faster than the rest
The style of the rich and famous
Pampered like a king
Hot showers, clean clothes, great food
That's what victory brings."
The standard ooohing, aaahing, and speculation follow; Kathy needs to handle the clue personally. The S7 work together to deduce that the challenge will involve water. Smarties. Sean tells us that he can swim a short distance to save his life, but that he's not comfortable in lots of water. Kathy instructs him that the worst thing he could do is be "over-anxious" or "over-zealous," which is just another way of saying that the worst thing he can do is "win." Kathy wants Sean to be calm. (And "lose.") She does not, however, offer diving instructions, which would have been fun. Sean says that it will be tough no matter what, and Robert wistfully says that he'd like to win something. Sean points out that they are all on their last legs. Actually, he says last "leg," but since they all have their own legs and are not sharing one big, giant leg, that's not quite grammatically correct.
A colored grid floats out in the water, and we see shots of yellow rocks on the ocean floor. Peachy greets the S7 and calls the challenge "an island version of musical chairs." In the first round, they will all swim down at once to retrieve one of six shells -- marked by yellow rocks for visibility -- scattered along the bottom. Whoever comes back without a shell is eliminated. The S7 will repeat the process until only four of the competitors remain. At that point, the final four will "engage in" a sprint from the floating dock to the shore while carrying the yellow, forty-pound rock. Peachy says, "The first one to drop the rock at my feet wins the reward." Do they get extra points for kissing his feet once they've dropped the rock there? Peachy takes great pleasure in, once again, revealing his "personal Visa," which he will loan the winner for one night. He/she will use the Visa card to book a room on a luxury cruise ship...but why does the winner need the Visa if he/she don't get any choice as to the purchase? Shouldn't all of the rewards, then, have been collected using Peachy's Visa? Peachy dramatically says, "That cruise ship, right out there!" and they all turn around and act surprised that the big boat has suddenly materialized behind them; it blows its happy little horn in greeting. Or maybe it just blows. Anyway, Peachy says that the winner will board and check in. He "imagines" that he/she will then want to take a shower, and I suspect he imagines that in more detail for some members of the S7 than for others. The winner will also get a change of clothes -- his/her first in twenty-eight days, Peachy says, although Robert appears to be wearing new clothes today -- and a multi-course meal on one of the observation decks. The S7 are sent out to the floating grid, and Peachy explains the challenge again, in case their attention spans are really that short.
The race begins. Kathy starts out with one of her spectacular belly flops, causing much happiness among the crowd with whom I watch the show. We just wait for those. Paschal brings up the first shell, and Robert quickly follows; then Tammy, then Kathy. It's pretty clear at this point that these will be the final four in this challenge, since they're so clearly more skilled than the others. Vecepia just gives up and swims back to the grid; surprisingly, Peachy doesn't harass her about it. Sean is having difficulties; Peachy calls him "baby" and yells at him to "let go of that buoy, swim over, find a shell, and get it!" I don't think Peachy gets that Sean knows what he's supposed to be doing, and that he's just having difficulties physically doing it. Neleh and her baggy-panted bathing suit finally come up with a shell; Sean, after a great deal of effort, manages to get one, too. Peachy whispers to the waiting tribe members, "Sean may have one!" When Sean emerges a shell-bearing victor, they all cheer him on and seem genuinely happy for him. But then, he's just proved he's no competition in future rounds, so why shouldn't they be pleased? Peachy rubs it in: "Now you've just gotta do it again!" Peachy sends Vecepia back to the beach, and are these people the worst swimmers ever, or what? I don't even know if what they're doing could technically be called "swimming."
The second round begins. The shells are retrieved in the same order as in the first round, so Sean gets eliminated. Peachy generously offers to let Sean catch his breath before swimming to shore.
It's now the final round of "musical shells." Neleh repeatedly picks her wedgie while she waits, and then Kathy does another marvelous belly flop. Peachy yells, "Get down there, Neleh! Go!" but she really has no chance. She gets to within inches of reaching the shell, and then gives up and surfaces, which is lame. Paschal, Robert, Tammy, and Kathy come up with shells, and so Neleh gets bounced. She doesn't say, "Aw, heck!" Not yet, anyway.
So on to the final round and the final belly flop. Sad me. The four finalists are neck-and-neck as they swim for their rocks. By now, they're tired, so it takes a bit longer, and forty pounds is a damn heavy rock, underwater or not. They all seem to realize fairly quickly that swimming with a rock is impossible, so they begin tossing them through the water. Paschal appears to have mastered running with his rock in order to build up momentum, and then throwing it. Underwater footage reveals that Paschal is very determined, but also very pale and skinny. It's kind of disturbing. He's taken the lead, though, and on the sidelines Neleh, Sean, and Vecepia root for him, although I'm not sure they really believe he can possibly win. Peachy points out that Paschal's pulling away, and the others get really excited. He emerges from the water with the rock, looking around like an old, tired, and possibly blind man. At this point, I was worried that he might collapse; he looks so worn down, and possibly delirious. He then catches his second wind, hustles to shore, throws the rock down before Peachy, and is immediately engulfed by the enthusiastic hugs of his teammates. Meanwhile, the losers are emerging from the water in disbelief, and Kathy gives thumbs-up to someone. Peachy proclaims Paschal's victory "well-earned"; Paschal "appreciate[s] that." Peachy then says he will "bring" the cruise ship and the Visa card to Paschal, and offers, "We'll get you in the shower," which sounds so hands-on. Just Peachy then says the challenge was a good effort on everyone's part. Except Vecepia's, that is, but he doesn't say that. That Visa card is some camera hog.
We're still at Soliantu, and it's still Day 28. Robert hacks some more wood, and the others wow at Pappy's "own cruise ship." The ship floats on the horizon, and Paschal tells us in a confessional that the closer the ship got, the more excited he got. He says he was ready to swim out to it, and gleefully says, "It's a beautiful sight...all for me!" It's not obnoxious when he says that, though, because he sounds genuinely excited and surprised.
Peachy motors up on his little boat, wearing a tight black t-shirt with its three-quarter-length sleeves. Neleh warns Paschal not to skimp on the dessert, and Kathy tells him to have Bananas Foster because they're in French Polynesia and "that's a French dessert." Paschal naïvely asks, "That's the thing to get?" Paschal should be sure to have some French fries, too. Robert advises Paschal to open up the menu and say, "Okay. Bring it all on." Robert, I suspect, might do that every time he goes out to eat.
Peachy yells for Paschal, who wades out to the raft. I'm surprised he's not choking, since his shorts are practically around his neck. Neleh wistfully says he'll be in a "warm shower in no time." Now Peachy squats before Paschal and says he hates for him to have "this great experience all alone." Paschal seems confused here; perhaps he's trying to determine whether he'll get to choose a tribemate, or if a family member might be waiting on board. Peachy asks if there's anyone Paschal wants to bring. Paschal automatically says "Neleh," but without any enthusiasm. Like he would bring Neleh, but doesn't think he can bring Neleh -- like Peachy's teasing him...which wouldn't be that unusual, after all. Then Paschal realizes that Peachy's serious; he jumps to his feet, shouting for Neleh. She skips over to the boat, with her pre-packed thatched bag in hand, while Paschal claps and yells. In a confessional, he tells us that choosing Neleh was an automatic, spontaneous reaction, because she's "the epitome of a young lady that deserves it." He says it was a wonderful opportunity to enjoy something together. They hug each other and Paschal insists again that Neleh deserves it. He's insisting to the wrong person, though; in a voice-over, Sean debates how deserving Neleh is. He points out that he would have picked Vecepia, since it was her birthday. That's such a lame complaint coming from him, though, since Vecepia is his best friend and he would have picked her anyway. Neleh waves sweetly at the others from the boat. Except most people would say "gloats obnoxiously" instead of "waves sweetly." Kathy snarkily says, "Oh my God. Oh, that is so sweet."
Paschal and Neleh sit on the raft while the cruise ship looms in the background. Neleh says she's the "happiest woman in the whole wide world," even if she goes home tomorrow. They hug as Neleh tells us she and Paschal were excited; she'd never been on a cruise ship before, and she didn't expect it to be so beautiful. Paschal thanks everyone who comes near him while boarding, and Neleh is amazed at how good the cruise ship smells. In a confessional, Neleh tells us that she and Paschal were "grubby little rug rats" before coming aboard. As the other members of the tribe would happily point out, it's really only funny (and only to you) to call yourself a "grubby little rug rat" after having had the opportunity to clean up. Peachy once again makes a production of revealing his Visa card, and introduces them to Michelle, who will check them into their room. Paschal compliments Michelle on the boat, which he says is "really something." Paschal and Neleh are escorted to a room, and Neleh says, "Oh my heck!" for the first of fifty-seven and a half times this episode. She's most excited that there's candy "right away." They get all that candy in a little dish, and they can't manage to smuggle any of it out? In any case, it looks like they're made to share a room with side-by-side single beds. I guess the producers have to do that in case there's a chance in the least they can make it appear -- without disturbing the audience too much -- that some sort of romantic interlude took place.
Paschal and Neleh sit on the balcony, and Paschal marvels at the view; his voice cracks as he says, "This is our own boat!" Okay, he doesn't own the boat, so I don't know why he's acting like he does. He tells us that the ship is absolutely beautiful, and that he can now imagine how the wealthiest people on earth must live. Paschal's a judge, and even if he doesn't make that much money, there are still billions of people starving throughout the world. Technically, he is one of the wealthiest people on earth.
Inside, Neleh summons Paschal to look at himself in the mirror. She cackles, and Paschal looks dismayed as he exclaims, "Oh, no!" In a confessional, Neleh is horrified to have discovered that her hair is suddenly "dark brown." Because dark brown hair is gross. Well, that and the "greasy dreadlocks."
It's now time for The Shower of All Showers. The actual shower looks pretty dingy -- the camera closes up on some brown spots, and a crack in the wall. Neleh tells us that the "hot water pouring down [her] body" was a luxury. She steps out of the shower; moments later, Paschal steps out of the shower, as well. It's not the same shower. Well, it may be the same shower, but most likely they weren't in it at the same time. Neleh goes about putting her hair up in a fluffy white towel, and putting lotion all over. Her skin looks really sun-damaged here. Hee. (Is that wrong of me?) Neleh tells us that she felt like a whole new person after the shower, and not at all like she was still playing the game. The two friends stand on the balcony and hug, calling the experience "a dream come true." They agree that they're lucky to be there, and especially lucky to be there together. Aw. Except not.
Paschal and Neleh are led to a deck, where a table is set, and Neleh squeals, "Oh my heck!" again. I really, really wish she'd stop. She's amazed by the white tablecloths "with, like, ten pieces of silverware." Paschal toasts his "little daughter," and then Neleh squeals at the bread and butter. There's some more "oh my heck"ing. Paschal says it's the best bread he's ever had, and Neleh says it's the best butter she's ever had, and then she laughs with her mouth full of bread and butter and it's gross. Yes, Neleh. I called you gross. Not "sweet" or "innocent" or "naïve" or "earnest." Gross. That's what you are to me.
Meanwhile, the smashing of squiggly things continues at Soliantu, but at least no one eats with his or her mouth open. Kathy tells us that watching the others go off, and then having to prepare their usual dinner, was difficult. Sean speculates that Neleh is ordering dessert first, and Vecepia is envious of the fact that Neleh has probably already conditioned her hair. She then says that Neleh's hair will look beautiful, and that she and Paschal are having a good time. Vecepia, birthday or not, manages to sound sincerely happy for them. Tammy wonders if they'll be able to smuggle food back for the other members of Soliantu, and Sean is confident that they will.
Back on the ship, the Italian feasting music plays. In a confessional, Neleh tells us, "The thing that came out was...uh, what's it called? What's a delicacy?" I'm not sure she's really asking about the definition of "delicacy," but instead is trying to remember the name of the particular delicacy they were served. We then see the waiter step in and put a plate of escargot in front of each of them. I don't think they had any say in the menu, since would either of them pick not just shellfish, which they've had plenty of in the past thirty days, but also something they'd never had before? Paschal thinks he's never had escargot, and says he never thought snail would taste so good. Neleh tries to look sophisticated, but mostly comes off looking confused. Then they get filet mignon and mashed potatoes; both decline wine, because neither of them drinks. Neleh appears to have made a little beef sandwich out of her steak. They cut out the part where she asks for ketchup, though. Paschal explains that they were served crème brulée for dessert, and he's never had that before either. This man is a fiftysomething year old judge and he's never had escargot or crème brulée before? It sounds like neither of them is pleased, because the dessert is too sugary. In any case, Paschal tells us he was looking forward to the bill, and was wondering what something so extravagant could cost -- he thinks maybe $150. The bill is placed before him, and Neleh exclaims "Holy cow!" At this precise moment, I feel immense relief that she has not yet again exclaimed, "Oh my heck!" I'm not spared for long, though, as she quickly corrects herself and jabbers that infernal exclamation once again. Paschal explains that the total was $312, but it didn't matter to him because it wasn't his money. He leaves a $200 tip, and says it was worth all the money. Neleh says she can't laugh anymore. Good.
It's night-vision time back at camp. Robert thinks Neleh and Paschal will have "beer breath," and Tammy points out that neither of them drinks. The group complains that the wrong people won, and Tammy says she would have been "throwin' 'em back." In a confessional, Tammy tells us that she and the other tribe mates were sitting around thinking about the food the others would bring back. Do you think Neleh and Paschal will bring back food? Do you? Do you? I'm sure they will!
When Neleh and Paschal return, the camera closes up on Paschal's non-food-containing backpack. Neleh's hair is so clean that it's glowing. She either got highlights while on the boat, or else her inner angel is shining through. She and Paschal are welcomed back, and the others marvel at their cleanliness. Robert tells us in a confessional that the first thing he did was "stuff [his] face in Neleh's hair." Ick. He says it smelled "fantastic," like a baby's bottom. Okay, so he doesn't say that, but it would have been pretty gross if he did. Neleh launches into a detailed description of every aspect of her time on the boat, from where the bathrooms were, to the type of shampoo, to the loofah she used to scrub her ass. She says she literally had to peel "black flaky stuff" off herself, which is a kind of mean thing to point out to people who haven't yet had the opportunity to pull the same said "black flaky stuff" off their own bodies. In a confessional, Kathy tells us that Neleh was going on too long about the shower. She grumps, "She's so damn sweet." Neleh then moves on to a description of the meal, which is full of "and then after that!"s." Tammy tells us that the experience sounded wonderful, and that it sucked to hear Neleh go on about it. Neleh then says she wishes "so bad" she could have brought something back for the others. She feels horrible going on like this and wonders if Sean felt bad when he talked about their Marquesan feast reward last week. Sean says, "No, but then we also brought back some food." Hee!
Neleh then engages in the worst behavior I've seen in four seasons of this show. She says the only thing she has left to share is "this mint that [she] shoved in [her]mouth really fast." She thinks everyone might want to "take a little nibble." They refuse -- while somehow managing not to look completely horrified -- and Neleh insists that it's good and she doesn't want it, as if the others are not taking the mint because it's too generous an offer. They hold their ground, so Neleh happily pops the mint back in her mouth. In a confessional, Sean says, "You're offering seven starving adults a piece of candy out of your mouth. Keep your mint candy, man." He complains that it's like saying, "Anybody want this piece of doo doo?" We see Sean leaving in the middle of Neleh's speech, and then Neleh sits there and blissfully smells her hair while sucking on her very own mint.
It's the day, and there are piggy footprints around the camp. A dirty piggy walks by. Poor piggy; it is dirty, too, and did not have the opportunity to shower on a cruise ship, like Neleh did. The other members of Soliantu continue to marvel at Neleh's cleanliness; have they never seen a clean person before? Neleh brags that she got the "best night's sleep ever," and then Sean explains that Neleh was still "on the cleaning kick" the morning. He says she was acting like a princess, with her feet propped up, and "lookin' at her nails." He sounds a lot like Brian Fellow from Saturday Night Live throughout this segment, and if I thought Sean was growing on me before, he's now full-grown, because Brian Fellow amuses me to no end. I wish he didn't, but he does. Neleh tells the others that it's "weird" to have clean skin, but Sean thinks no one cares about her clean nails because they're busying attending to chores. The others chop things, and Sean tells us that Neleh is "one of those people who cleverly will have the perception that she's working." So Neleh thinks she's working, but isn't, and is thus clever in fooling herself? I think Sean means that other people perceive Neleh to be working, but really, it's Sean talking, so who knows? He lists the chores that Neleh fails to do; he says she always says she's doing work, but that she isn't really doing anything. He complains that she's the first to claim to have energy, but that he'd have that much energy, too, if he wasn't doing anything but taking walks, taking naps, and relaxing. All that talking about "doo doo" wears a man out. Neleh preens and lounges about while Sean voice-overs about her lack of activity.
Now a squeaky-clean Neleh is all propped up under the tent; she asks Kathy how the porridge is coming. A close-up of said porridge reveals that Kathy has borrowed Neleh's Barbie Dream Stove to cook up some pebble soup. When Kathy responds, Neleh and Paschal immediately start making gagging faces and sounds behind Kathy's back. Neleh pretends to deliberate between wanting porridge or "flank steak." Paschal cracks up, not because Neleh doesn't know the difference between filet mignon and ground chuck, but because he actually thinks she's funny. Vecepia calls them out for their misbehavior, and they look chastened, but smug.
Sean now tells us that he thinks Neleh has Paschal "snowed," and that she's playing the game harder than anyone else on the island. He says she's playing the role of "sweet little girl door," and then imitates her with an inspired "Hey, I'm in the finals, and I'm so happy, and hey, oh God, this is, oh heck!'"
Neleh has finally stopped talking about the shower, but only because she has moved on to the bread. It looks like Paschal is her only audience now, so I don't know why she hasn't realized that Paschal was there and thus doesn't need to be told about the bread, since he experienced it first-hand. Tammy asks her to go fetch some leaves for their dinner; Neleh happily says she will, while singing a little song about the porridge. Kathy looks at Neleh sideways, and then tells us in a confessional that she thinks Neleh "has 60-70% sweetness, and about 30 or 40%, she's workin' it." Kathy thinks it's "a little much," and that Neleh's "workin' it too hard." In fact, Kathy thinks Neleh's "workin' it with Paschal." Ew.
Robert prowls around the camp, and Paschal calls him "Pig Man." It's funny, even if Paschal doesn't mean it in an insulting way. Paschal wants Robert to join him in the shade, but Robert insists that he's ready to work on his "pig snare," because he's just eaten some coconut. He wants to know who will help him, and no one volunteers. Robert then explains that a pig comes into their camp every night, and that he knows it's a "tall" pig, because he "got a good look at him." In a confessional, Robert tells us he's tired of the pig "taunting" him. And what's with this group's paranoia that the various wildlife of the Marquesas is taunting them all the time? Robert says of the little squeaker that he's going to "catch that thing and make some pork chops." And maybe after he's through with Neleh, he can catch a pig!
Tammy has joined Robert in the pig-snare-making venture. As they work in the woods, he explains his plan, which seems to have to do with stringing the pig up by one foot. In a confessional, Tammy tells us that Robert is not only hungry, but also wants to secure his place in the tribe. She says that if he catches a pig, Robert can "hold that up" as evidence that he's a valuable member of the tribe. A branch almost backslaps Robert in the face while he and Tammy work on the snare. Robert gets cocky and tells Tammy that if she wins immunity and he catches a pig, he'll tell the others, "Look, she's immune. I caught the pig. You can't get rid of me and not let me have any of my pig! You gotta keep me. I got pig!" He honestly seems to believe that argument would work, and urges Tammy to "look at that release!"
It's time for a mail check, and the S7 are surprised to discover a clue so late in the evening. Neleh is physically open-mouthed while the others find less primitive ways to express their surprise. Tammy reads the clue aloud:
Race against the others until you're feeling hot
The most basic skill of survival: show them what you've got
Food, water and protection, most important in this game
You may as well just pack your bags if you fail to strike the flame.
Is that clue just one giant non sequitur? The tribe members hash it out and conclude that they'll be making fire. In a confessional, Robert tells us that this is yet another "curveball" in the game, because he's been working on the pig snare all day while the others have been resting. He says he thought it was a day off, and that he's exhausted now. He reiterates how important the challenge is for him, and says he thinks he'll be voted off if he loses.
The moon sets on several unlit pyres. We see flickering sparks, and some kernels of corn in Williams-Sonoma Calphalon pots of oil. Peachy welcomes them to "Tribal Beach," and strips Tammy of the necklace, while pointing out that immunity is available once again. He preaches that tonight's game will be particularly difficult because it takes place in the dark. First, the S7 will run to the "perimeter" of the beach and gather firewood. They will then build fires under each individual popcorn-filled wok in order to heat oil hot enough to pop the popcorn. Once one kernel has popped, they move onto the final station, where they are challenged to light their individual pyres from the bottom in order to ignite the top. Peachy reveals that they'll have new fire-starting tools in this challenge: magnesium, flint, and steel. The multi-talented Peachy shows that he, too, can work a lighter.
The S7 take their places and they are off! Neleh bites it three feet from the starting point, and I hope her hands got good and dirty. Peachy coaches them to think about "stuff that's really gonna ignite" as they collect kindling, and points out that coconut husks work very well. As they work on their fires, suspenseful music plays, and the steel glints dramatically. Vecepia is the first to get fire; meanwhile, Kathy looks freakish in a weird hat and glasses. It looks like she's wearing some sort of disguise, like maybe she's no good at fire-starting and was hoping we wouldn't be able to recognize her. Robert is the to get fire, and I see why they did this challenge at night: because the light flashes coolly across their faces. Kathy's , and then Sean. Paschal calls Peachy over and asks him if he has any matches. Hee. Neleh gets fire and loudly cheers for herself. She doesn't seem to know or care that she's second-to-last at this point. A hungry Peachy asks Vecepia when he'll get some popcorn; he thinks she's close, and that she is "really heatin' up." As Robert tells Peachy that it's easy, a kernel pops, so he heads off to the final leg, with Vecepia close behind. They run to their pyres with their fires while the sparks blow in their faces. It doesn't look very safe, so I wish Neleh would get to it already. At this point, it's basically a race between Robert and Vecepia. The music swells, and Robert's pyre ignites. He dons the necklace, raises both hands, and proclaims, "Sanctuary!" And the smoke...well, she is arising. As Robert and Tammy hug, Robert voice-overs, "You ain't goin' nowhere. I'm gonna try my damndest." Which is just another way of saying, "I'll miss you, Tammy."
It's Day 30 now, and the S7 hang out at the waterfall. Kathy guess it's 250 feet high, which is kind of ridiculous. Robert says it's definitely not, so she timidly suggests, "One hundred feet?" She raves that sitting under the waterfall is like being in a "torrential downpour," and that it's gorgeous. Robert tells us that the wind lifted him up and brought him back to life. He was feeling down, and now he feels refreshed, but he's just a little "bummed" because of Tammy's predicament. She's like a sister to him; he says, "I'd like to see if I could, uh, do something to save her." He could give her his immunity. One might do that for one's sister, but one certainly wouldn't do it for someone "like a sister," on a reality television program. Tammy picks a wedgie heading off down the path. I think the cameramen get $20 bucks tossed their way for every wedgie-pick they capture.
Kathy is typically paranoid as she tells the others she thinks Tammy "has a play for tonight," but that she doesn't know what it is. She thinks Tammy will pull some scheme, and that the rest of them will "come tumbling down." Robert, Kathy, and Tammy toss a root around; Tammy is monkey in the middle. Robert, by the way, is ape on the end. Tammy then tells us that she's not used to losing because she is super-competitive. She insists that she's not giving up until she hears her name read at Tribal Council.
Paschal, Neleh, and Kathy discuss the situation. Kathy calls Tammy a "pit bull," but I'm sure she means that in the best possible way. Paschal says that Tammy is waiting to "take advantage of something," and Kathy points out that she could win over Vecepia's vote. We see a clip of Robert and Tammy whispering to each other as Neleh voice-overs that Vecepia has "flipped over" more than anyone else in the game, and that Rob and Tammy could possibly convince her and Sean to join their side. Sean tells us that if he and Vecepia team up with Robert and Tammy, it would "point blank" put them in the final four. Sean tells Vecepia that Neleh "got [sic] mad game" and that she's playing the girl--door role to perfection. He says that he and Vecepia need to get rid of Neleh, because she comes off as so young and "angelic," and she's deceiving everyone. The others don't realize that "the more sympathy you have, the stronger this girl get[s]." Sean tells Vecepia that Neleh talks a good game about working around the camp, but that really only sleeps and takes walks. Vecepia agrees, and says she's noticed Neleh occasionally picking up tools just to look busy. Sean reiterates that he and Vecepia are in a predicament: on the one hand, he thinks that "hooking up" with Tammy and Rob would be a "sure bet," but then again, Tammy and Rob could tell Neleh and Paschal of their intended betrayal. Sean and Vecepia agree that, no matter what, they're ready to end the game "in a bang."
Jabba the Tribal Council Hut. Tribal Trill. Peachy brings in the two members of the jury, one of whom looks very pretty, and one of whom looks very butch. It's yours to say which is which. Peachy reminds the S7 that the jury is there only to observe; he points out that it's the beginning of the power shift in the game, "when the power leaves those who are still in it, and goes now to those who are out of it."
Tonight, Peachy wants to talk about what they're tired of after thirty days. Neleh hates the dirt and the no-nos that get stuck in her eyes. Kathy flat-out hates the beach; more specifically, she hates its bugs, monotony, and grime. She has so many rashes and infections that her skin is "literally ready to fall off." Paschal is also tired of the monotony and the "daily grind." He complains of "the same food, the same living conditions, the same everything." So that implies, I think, "the same people." And there's Paschal bringing the snark.
Peachy asks how valuable the cruise-ship reward was, and Paschal answers him literally, saying it was $7 million. He and Neleh sat on the deck of the ship and talked about the reward's value; he says that nothing could have invigorated him more or made him feel better, which might not please his wife so much.
Peachy then calls on Kathy, who's always good for a snide remark or two. He wants to know what her reaction was to Neleh and Paschal's good fortune -- not only to their shower, but to the other amenities they received on board, including the mysterious "buffing." Kathy was jealous, and says, "I think all of us had a difficult time listening to the blow-by-blow description of Neleh's shower." Neleh laughs because she's just so cute and sweet and funny. Kathy thinks Paschal did incredibly on the challenge, and that he deserved the prize. She then adds, "But Neleh going? So be it." Hee. Kathy does say she'd wished a dirty following day on both of them.
Peachy points out that "if it made sense," Robert could hand over his immunity to someone else. In the context of this game and these players, it's highly unlikely that that would ever make sense. Robert answers, "I gotta stay," and Tammy makes a weird face, which is probably more of a response to the no-no that just flew up her nose than any sign of the expectation that Robert would have handed over the necklace.
We see nothing of Neleh's or Robert's votes. Kathy votes for Tammy because she's "one cool chick, but lethal competition." We don't see Sean's, Paschal's, and Vecepia's votes, either. Tammy's vote is obscured, but it's because whoever she votes for doesn't pull his/her weight. We're supposed to think it's Neleh, and we have no reason to think it wouldn't be. Except that Mark Burnett's a fucker.
Serious faces are superimposed over the waves as Peachy returns with the petite, footed voting urn. The first vote is a squiggly Tammy vote, and the second is a less ornate Tammy vote, as well. The third vote is a Vecepia, and Tammy's upper lip twitches. The fourth vote is also for Vecepia, who looks around suspiciously. The fifth vote is for Tammy, and Robert's jaw juts defiantly outward -- even more so than usual. The vote is for Tammy, too, which Peachy proclaims "enough."
So the tribe has spoken and Tammy makes a speedy exit. Robert puts his head on Paschal's shoulder; I don't think he is crying, but he at least wants people to think he is; meanwhile, Vecepia winks at Neleh. Peachy points out that they've made it thirty days. He knows they're having a hard time, but snits that no one ever said it would be easy.
week on Survivor, six remain, and one of them falls out of a tree. Also, Joanna sets her VCR properly.
As the credits roll, Tammy tells us she knew the vote was coming, but that it still sucked. She says she played the way she intended to, and that she is proud of herself. We see that Tammy and Robert voted for Vecepia, while the other four voted for Tammy. Well, the other three voted for "Tammy," and Sean voted for "Tami O." She then channels Hunter and snarks that she hopes the remaining six "have it in 'em" to last the final days, because she's not sure they do.