Last week on Survivor, the S6 traded their poorly constructed shelter to compensate for their poorly allocated rice supply, and after eleven episodes of trying, Nick finally completed the process of becoming irreversibly invisible.
We open this episode with the grunting and moaning of a male voice; apparently, this is some kind of song -- though not, I think, an aboriginal one. I wonder if it will be on the Survivor II soundtrack. Elisabeth tells us that, in the past few days, the game has become "drastically primal" and that they've become "beings" "that need food." We see Lamber portioning out the rice; she and Elisabeth agree that it's a "nightmare" situation. Elisabeth tells us in an interview that they're in an extreme situation because they exchanged their shelter for food. Lamber says that they're going to be careful with the rice this time around. Her arm looks incredibly fragile in this interview. I think it's partly the camera angle, but still -- no matter how you positioned my arm, it wouldn't look that thin. Maybe my pinky finger would. She and Tina discuss the fact that this is the least amount of rice they have had, and that it's all they have to live on. At camp, Elisabeth offers up "scrapings from the pot," and Colby accepts. Tina tells us that the rice gave her hope, because she thought she would be "starving to death" for the eleven days. Lamber says that hope is important, and that she's always hoping for "the day to come." She tells us she takes life in the Outback on a three-day to three-day basis. It doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Elisabeth says that Colby, Tina, and Keith are allied, and that they view Lamber as a weak person. Tina then says that Lamber is sweet, but that she never proved she could stand on her own two feet. She did prove that she's a "tougher little girl than [Tina] made her out to be." Calling someone "tough" and a "little girl" in the same sentence is a back-handed compliment. And I like it! Elisabeth tells us that the "people who are in control are gonna push [her] eject button at one point or another," and that she just has to hope it's a later point. Colby says in an interview that Rodger and Elisabeth know they've been brought along by the others with the eventual intent to eliminate them before eliminating themselves. Elisabeth tells us there's no holding her back. She doesn't, however, do her best "somebody stop me!" Jim Carrey impression.
They've stopped showing us the lame clues; I don't think we saw them in the last episode either. Maybe they just ran out of bad poets. Or fancy parchment paper. Then there's a hairy spider shot, followed by no immediate pan to Jerri. Peachy greets the S6 at the reward challenge -- a ropes course which is "designed to be confusing." He calls it a "jungle rope maze," as opposed to just a plain old rope maze. The S6 must navigate between four checkpoints on the course, using carabineers to clip on and off between ropes. We learn that the prize is a "food reward with a twist." Peachy then yells, and some wranglers ride out of the woods, causing Lamber to get what can best be described as a horny look on her face. And I hate that word, but I can't think of a better one. The winner will receive a dinner of "authentic stockman grub," an overnight stay with the cowboys, bacon and eggs in the morning, and a cot to sleep on. He/she will also receive the earnest serenadings of one particular wrangler, but Peachy doesn't mention that here.
“ It sounds like their camp might have washed away. Do you think their camp washed away? I, for one, am not sure. ”
The race begins. It's just like the challenge from the "what a tangled web we weave" episode last season. Lamber moves along very skillfully and is ahead from the beginning. I think they've underplayed her athleticism throughout the season. Colby follows Lamber closely and at one junction they get tangled up in each other. A "Keith last place" bulletin cracks me up when it flashes at the bottom of the screen, as Keith looks typically clueless. A few minutes later "Keith still last" flashes and still cracks me up. In the last stretch, they try to make it look as if it's a tight race between Lamber and Colby, but it's really not. Colby coasts to the finish, and Lamber shows up a few minutes later. She does look to be hustling through the end. Rodger gets third -- whew hoo! I think he's just happy not to be dead last. Tina finishes , then Elisabeth. From the sidelines, Peachy tells Keith to "finish strong." I'd be so annoyed. Peachy then calls Colby over and gives him a "little taste" of what's for dinner. It's a big hunk of carbohydrates, which must look really great to the others. Colby asks whether he may share it with everyone else, but Peachy, of course, says he that he may not. ["Which is odd, because Richard Hatch has reportedly said that there's nothing in the rules prohibiting winners of reward challenges from sharing their winnings with their fellows, or even handing the reward to someone else. So, as usual, Peachy's full of it." -- Wing Chun] As Colby heads off to Cowboy Camp on his pony, the others yell that they'll miss him, and that he should "get strong." Why would they want him to get any stronger than he already is? Rodger tells him to bring back some pork and beans in his pockets. Colby's all teeth as he hops on the horse.
We cut to an ominous shot of rain clouds covering the sun, and then many, many shots of rain assaulting various wildlife. We get it -- it's raining. As we see the wranglers making the trek to Cowboy Camp, Colby tells us that the storm hit about ten minutes into the ride, and that the horse got startled. He says that it felt like hail, and, for a moment I thought all of the Rodger-falling-off-a-horse talk was just a Mark Burnett cover-up for Colby-falling-off-a-horse action. Colby tells us that it was the worst storm he's ever seen. Suddenly he's in bright, sunny daylight as he says he feels sorry for the others who had to go back to the "very wet Barramundi beach."
I think that the crew borrowed their editing techniques from those of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, because the thing we see is Colby's tribemates as they arrive at a rushing river three miles from camp, which wasn't rushing that way when they crossed earlier. After various exclamations on the part of Barramundi -- including Elisabeth's noting that it had been just a "puddle" earlier -- Keith tells the others, "Let's hope our riverbed didn't get flooded like this." Rodger says that he doubts that the "dry creek bed camp" is dry right now. The tribe has to wait a few hours until the creek goes down, so that they can cross. During this time, no one talked to each other, because they were thinking about what was happening at the camp. Thinking, in Barramundi world, prevents talking. An ominous chord plays, and we go to commercial. It sounds like their camp might have washed away. Do you think their camp washed away? I, for one, am not sure.
“ For the record, anybody who doesn't think Mark Burnett orchestrated this situation can now send their $5 donation to the Starving, One-legged, Homeless, Caffeine-addicted, Wart-covered Babies Foundation. Please make checks payable to 'Joanna Hughes.' ”
For the record, anybody who doesn't think Mark Burnett orchestrated this situation can now send their $5 donation to the Starving, One-legged, Homeless, Caffeine-addicted, Wart-covered Babies Foundation. Please make checks payable to "Joanna Hughes." He specifically chose this beach for them, and although they could have put the actual camp elsewhere, there was a pretty damn good chance they'd put it in the flat, dry space that just happened to be a flat, dry creek bed. There was probably some equally likely hazard waiting for them had they chosen the woods. And now we see shots of the flooding camp: it's pretty much the same shots and camera angles over and over again. But, oh no -- I just saw Rodger's orange and blue jacket wash away. We then see water rushing over the canister of rice, but it's not budging, so they pause the camera while a cameraman runs out and dislodges it so it can be carried away. And here's that poor widdle kangaroo caught in the river. Ominous music plays while said kangaroo scrapes and claws at the side of the shore and can't pull itself up; it keeps moving down the riverbank and then desperately trying again and again. I feel more for the kangaroo then I've felt for any of the competitors in either season; I feel ten times more sympathetic toward the kangaroo than I felt toward Jenna when she didn't get her video from home. Maybe that's because the kangaroo stands no chance of winning a million dollars. The kangaroo finally escapes. Whew.
Rodger is the first to approach Barramundi, and optimistically surmises that the camp has been spared. He actually says, "We're okay, girls," and Keith tells him not to jump to conclusions -- meaning about the camp, not about his being a girl. We see their faces as they finally see their camp. A sneaker lies on its side, and we're supposed to think it's tragic -- like the left-behind sneaker of a murder victim. Except in this case, there is no victim, and just a bunch of supposedly stranded people with multiple pairs of shoes. Rodger tells us that when he first "come [sic] down the bank," he thought everything was okay, but that, as he continued onward, it looked like "a small hurricane" had swept through the camp. Lamber says "ahhh maaah Gaaah" a few times, and then Elisabeth says "oh my Go,d" perhaps because she's tired of hearing Lamber saying it incorrectly. Rodger starts looking for the rice; the others join in and conclude that it's been washed away. He looks upset and says, "No supper." Elisabeth cries and tells us that, "despite all optimism and hope," the camp was completely washed out. Lamber says that it looks like a tornado went through there. Well, I think it looks like an earthquake. Or a tsunami. Or any other natural catastrophe it could possibly be compared to. Keith tells us that the water came through "like a flurry." Whatever that means. He then pronounces "especially" like "ex-pecially"; I'll bet he says "nu-cu-lar" instead of "nu-cle-ar" too. Tina tells us that she walked down the "heeyul" (translation: "hill"), and saw the devastation, which made her really mad, although she didn't know who to be mad at. How about Mark Burnett for making them move there? Just a thought. Elisabeth and Lamber look alarmed as they discuss the fact that they have no food and haven't eaten all day.