| 2003.05.11 |
Mother's Day Massacre Jenna gets a visit from the bronzer fairy, Matthew gets a visit from Edward Scissorshands, Peachy gets a visit from his sparkly mother, and the audience gets a visit from Rudy! Also, Christy reveals her reason for voting for Jenna. Although in this case, "reason" can be more clearly defined as "incomprehensible, bizarre, and totally random explanation." |
| Ep. | Title | Air/Pub'l | Author |
| Extra |
Mother's Day Massacre The Amazon Reunion - Jenna gets a visit from the bronzer fairy, Matthew gets a visit from Edward Scissorshands, Peachy gets a visit from his sparkly mother, and the audience gets a visit from Rudy! Also, Christy reveals her reason for voting for Jenna. Although in this case, "reason" can be more clearly defined as "incomprehensible, bizarre, and totally random explanation." |
2003.05.11 2003.05.22 |
Joanna |
| 6-13 Recap |
The Cheese Stands Alone ...And Then There Were Four - And likely naked, too -- at least, if there's any peanut butter and chocolate involved. Jenna takes it all this week on Survivor, which is very different than the "Jenna takes it all off this month in Playboy" conclusion the viewing audience expected. |
2003.05.11 2003.05.17 |
Joanna |
| 6-12 Recap |
Busted! The Amazon Heats Up - HeiDDi puts the "bust" in "busted" this week as she goes on about being the "mastermind" of the game, then gets voted out. Butch borrows Elaine's dance from Seinfeld, kicking up not only his heels, but his knees and elbows, as well. Also, Matthew wins a car but can't use it to drive back home. You can't drive to Pluto, people! |
2003.05.08 2003.05.10 |
Joanna |
| 6-11 Recap |
Romance Is in the Heir Sour Grapes - Matthew wins a "romantic" evening with his purty mother in this week's episode. HeiDDi cries a lot, and turns her back on Rob. It's not the turned back that bothers him so much, though, as the turned front. He likes the boobies! Also, Butch keeps busy believing in himself. And in the bottle. |
2003.05.01 2003.05.07 |
Joanna |
| 6-10 Recap |
Robin Hood Q & A - Rob steals from the rich to reward the poor this week as he throw his vote in with the downtrodden Matthew, Christy, and Butch to get rid of Alex. Christy prudently plans to win a letter from home, while Jenna poutily pouts to win the same. Later, the tribe gangs up to declare Jenna sex-weapon-wielding, incapable-of-surviving, and not fit for nude modeling, so all is good. |
2003.04.24 2003.04.30 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Mostly-Seen-Before Footage Amazon Redux - It's time for the clips show, and we all know what that means: lowlights and mostly-seen-before footage. Christy and Davey Rockett swing dance, Rob enthuses over HeiDDi's "manmade" beauties, and the original Jaburu tribe samples Jeanne's homemade delicacies: her very own fuzzy balls. |
2003.04.17 2003.04.23 |
Joanna |
| 6-9 Recap |
A Bug in the System The Chain - More precisely, there are several bugs in Matthew's system, after he enthusiastically downs them during the immunity challenge. There's a bug in Deena's system, too, as her trusted alliance turns around and votes her out. |
2003.04.10 2003.04.17 |
Joanna |
| 6-8 Recap |
Bare Asses and Bad-Asses Sleeping With the Enemy - Jenna's bare ass makes yet another appearance this week as she loses her pants twice during the reward challenge. And she doesn't even get any chocolate and peanut butter for it this time. All in all, Jenna proves herself fairly ass-centric during this episode, as she obsessively picks a wedgie and sticks her hand down not only her own pants, but HeiDDi's, as well. Later, Davey Rockett gets voted out for being a bad-ass. |
2003.04.03 2003.04.09 |
Joanna |
| 6-7 Recap |
Roger That Girls Gone Wilder - Roger gets the message loud and clear this week as he becomes the first ejected member of the new Jack�e tribe. The audience gets the message too, although we think we are being given the wrong message, and then are surprised to find out that it was the right message all along. |
2003.03.26 2003.04.02 |
Joanna |
| 6-6 Recap |
Roll With It More Than Meats the Eye - The tribes compete for spices and fruit by rolling on a giant log. Not surprisingly, Davey Rockett excels. Christy also does well against stick-figure Jenna, and in the process wins the respect (or at least the pretense of the respect) of her tribe. |
2003.03.19 2003.03.26 |
Joanna |
| 6-5 Recap |
Shuffle, Then Deal Pick-Up Sticks - Tribes are mixed up and the Axis of Skeevil suffers a fatal blow. Meanwhile, Dave maneuvers, Jenna gives it up, Deena takes a tumble, Alex takes one for the team, Shawna makes a miraculous recovery, and in the end, Jeanne makes a highly predictable exit. |
2003.03.13 2003.03.19 |
Miss Alli |
| 6-4 Recap |
Heidi, Queen of Snots Trapped - Heidi flings herself over the edge of Irritating right into the canyon of Completely Hateful, just in time to preside over the departure of Joanna. Elsewhere, the men sing, Shawna flags, and piranhas are not fooling around. |
2003.03.06 2003.03.12 |
Miss Alli |
| 6-3 Recap |
Everybody in a Lather Girl Power - This week, Jaburu finally pulls it together. They build a roof, they clean the camp, they take two more challenges, and they come out smelling like roses. Literally. Oh, and the men get rid of Daniel. |
2003.02.27 2003.03.01 |
Miss Alli |
| 6-2 Recap |
Hear No Evil, See No Evil Storms - Christy may not be able to hear, but she doesn't need all five senses to know what Joanna's hand-in-the-face is telling her. In the men's camp, Roger makes a case against homosexuality and, in the process, for his own undeniable, arrogant ignorance. Also, some cute little piggies make an appearance! Whew-hoo! |
2003.02.20 2003.02.25 |
Joanna |
| 6-1 Recap |
Battle of the Sexists Boys vs. Girls - In this season's "shocking twist," the group is divided into two tribes: the chauvinist pigs versus the incompetently clueless. Or at least that's the way the episode is edited. The men seem capable of talking only about how great they are and how hot the women are, while the women immediately get down to the priority task of laundering their buffs. |
2003.02.13 2003.02.19 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Peachy Pie(hole) Survivor: Thailand - The Reunion - Just Peachy cuts loose in this season's reunion show, but even with the incessant prattle and the interrupting and the unflagging badgering of Jan, he still bests the songfest and egofests of seasons past. |
2002.12.19 2003.01.03 |
Joanna |
| 5-13 Recap |
Booty Duty Slip Through Your Fingers - The S3 try to keep six coins wedged between their fingers while maintaining an uncomfortable pose, and Brian prevails, skilled as he probably is at maintaining uncomfortable positions. Helen gets voted off first, and much scowling ensues. But despite it all, Helen still luuuuuurves Brian. |
2002.12.19 2002.12.27 |
Joanna |
| 5-12 Recap |
Mr. Sleeze The Tides Are Turning - Brian rambles on this week about being Mr. Freeze and throwing sliders and stringing people along, and then later he rambles some more about the disposability of Jan, his soldier Helen, and his good friend Clay, to whom he may or may not give the finger. Also, Ted gets very, very happy, likely because he gets very, very drunk. He then gets very, very voted off. |
2002.12.12 2002.12.19 |
Joanna |
| 5-11 Recap |
If They Come, You Will Build It A Big Surprise...and Another - And if you build it fast enough, you will win this week's immunity challenge! The S6 emerge from the "Jungle of Dreams" to participate in both challenges this week. Jake and Jenny may make with the tongue, but it's Ted and his brother who get horizontal. |
2002.12.05 2002.12.11 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Just Peachy's Clippings A Closer Look - Just Peachy's toenail clippings are about as exciting as this season's pitiful "special" clips show. But then again, for a select number of the viewing population, Just Peachy's toenail clippings might be more exciting than a darned good "special" clips show. |
2002.11.27 2002.12.06 |
Joanna |
| 5-10 Recap |
When an Elephant Walks By With an Itty Bitty Waist and a Round Thing in Clay's Face... While the Cats Are Away - ...he gets sprung! Because Clay likes big butts. He also like little butts. Male butts, female butts, human or animal -- doesn't matter to Clay. Clay just likes the butts! |
2002.11.21 2002.11.27 |
Joanna |
| 5-9 Recap |
Recipe for Dis-ass-ter Desperate Measures - Take one recipe-spouting Helen and add a helping of Brian's ass-shaking wife. Combine with Clay drool, Ted spooge, Jan's "clavage" and Jake's butt-shot deer before sprinkling in some Penny to (dis)taste. Mix well and bake on high for twenty-seven days before removing the burned Ken from the game. |
2002.11.14 2002.11.20 |
Joanna |
| 5-8 Recap |
Smense and Smensibility Sleeping With the Enemy - The competitors demonstrate the absolute worst performance of any challenge on all five seasons of Survivor as they prove themselves incapable of holding their breath for longer than twenty-five seconds. Sook Jai bemoans its fourth straight Tribal Council throughout the episode's remaining 3,575 seconds, and Brian invents a fun, new word. |
2002.11.07 2002.11.13 |
Joanna |
| 5-7 Recap |
The Merge That Wasn't There Assumptions - They're down to ten this week, and it's time for the merge. But there's no merger after all, even though the tribes thought there was. Instead, they're just living together. Religious zealots across the world disapprove. |
2002.10.31 2002.11.06 |
Joanna |
| 5-6 Recap |
Feel the Warmth of a Cold (Bat) Nose Power of One - Jan becomes emotionally invested in the welfare of a dead baby bat named Oscar. Meanwhile, Robb becomes emotionally invested in himself and leads the other members of Sook Jai on a journey of personal growth and self-discovery. He then leads himself on a different journey -- down the path and straight out of Thailand. |
2002.10.24 2002.10.31 |
Joanna |
| 5-5 Recap |
Therein Lies the Grub The Ocean's Surprise - It's time for the seasonal food auction, and for some very expensive seasoned grubs. And grubs may not be a delicacy in Shii Devil's native land, but chicken necks sure are! Also, Helen is inspired to sing, and televisions across the world are inspired to shut off. |
2002.10.17 2002.10.24 |
Joanna |
| 5-4 Recap |
Ratings Bananza! Gender Bender - Actually, last week's episode was the ratings cash cow, what with the attempted strangulation and illicit sexual behavior and all, but who doesn't love a good pun? Don't answer that. This week's episode may b e throttle-free, but there are dummies and chickens and loads of bananas. |
2002.10.10 2002.10.17 |
Joanna |
| 5-3 Recap |
Neck and Neck Family Values - Chuay Gahn and Sook Jai are neck and neck in the reward challenge. They're also hands and neck, as Robb attempts to throttle Clay, then gets upset by the choking noises Clay emits. Because people should just be quiet while choking, dude! Also, lots of crabs make little sand balls with their claws. It's weird, all right. |
2002.10.03 2002.10.10 |
Joanna |
| 5-2 Recap |
Lost at Senile The Great Divide - Jan and Helen get lost on an excursion, causing Helen -- if she only had a gun -- to threaten to shoot Jan. Except not really. Except kind of. What a case for gun control! Except not really. Except kind of. |
2002.09.26 2002.10.03 |
Joanna |
| 5-1 Recap |
Thai Idol The Importance of Being E...est - No, it's not a foreign spin-off of America's new hit television talent show; it's the newest season of Survivor. This time around, they're in Thailand, and they're just as freaktastic as ever. |
2002.09.19 2002.09.26 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
They're Back, and They Can't Get a Word In! Whew-Hoo! Marquesas Reunion Special - Rosie O'Donnell hosts this year's reunion show, and it's complete and utter mayhem. Boring complete and utter mayhem, which is a feat in itself. Rosie's all over the place, and the S16 just try to keep up with her non-linear mode of questioning. They win Saturns for their efforts. |
2002.05.19 2002.06.02 |
Joanna |
| 4-13 Recap |
Goodbye, Scuttling Crabs! The Sole Survivor! - So long, stern-looking tikis! Farewell, hungry little No-Nos! Adieu, horrible clue writers! Yes, another season of Survivor comes to an end, and another American moron gets handed a million dollars for no good reason at all except the entertainment of the home viewing audience. |
2002.05.19 2002.05.26 |
Joanna |
| 4-12 Recap |
A Whole Lot of Fakin' Goin' On A Tale of Two Cities - This week on Survivor no one knows who's telling the truth and who's lying. Actually, everyone knows Kathy's lying, because she gets caught on tape. But they don't know that yet. |
2002.05.16 2002.05.19 |
Joanna |
| 4-11 Recap |
And That's That Marquesan Vacation - Indeed, that's that this week as Robert -- the last remaining member of the Rotu alliance -- gets voted off. Also, Sean imitates Neleh in a delightful way, and Neleh may or may not procure an advertising contract with Disneyland. The chewed-up mint does not make an appearance, but Kathy's son Pat does. |
2002.05.09 2002.05.16 |
Joanna |
| 4-10 Recap |
Clean for a Day The Princess - Neleh and Paschal get to clean off all the dirt they've been rubbing into themselves for the past twenty-eight days. It's Vecepia's birthday, but she's not allowed to get clean. She misses Leander, who may or may not be her husband, but who does have a cool name. Then Robert wins immunity in a popcorn-popping challenge, and the others finally get a chance to send Tammy Stiltwalker home. |
2002.05.02 2002.05.08 |
Joanna |
| 4-9 Recap |
A Roll in the Sand Two Peas in a Pod - Paschal and Sean win this week's reward challenge and roll around in the sand. It isn't quite dancing but still...it's a good thing Sean's of age, otherwise Paschal would be quite the hypocrite. Later, Tammy wins her second straight immunity challenge, and Zoe -- who smirks and talks about herself in the third person -- gets voted out. Bet she doesn't "dig" that. |
2002.04.25 2002.05.02 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
I'll Show You Mine, If You Don't Show Me Yours....Again. Look Closer - If you missed the first eight episodes, it's entirely your fault! Watch the previouslys! Read the recaps! Why should you be rewarded for your lack of attentiveness? Why should you get a "special" clips show? Go ahead and revel in Sean's first tongue wag and Kathy's continual belly flopping, while meanwhile, the loyal Survivor viewing audience endures yet another "special" episode of "highlights" and "never-before-seen" nothings. Because they're not highlights, and we've seen them all before! Do we have "stupid" written on our foreheads? |
2002.04.30 2002.05.01 |
Joanna |
| 4-8 Recap |
A Loverly Bunch of Coconuts Jury's Out - Although Robert, Paschal and Sean could hardly be described as "lovely," they're definitely part of a great big bunch of coconuts. Mounds and Almond Joy really missed out on the sponsorship deal. Also this week: Sean farts a lot. |
2002.04.18 2002.04.25 |
Joanna |
| 4-7 Recap |
Yor-icky! True Lies - Maraanu finds a skull in their camp, and we're spared Hamlet-related comparisons...until now, that is. The tribe concludes that the skull's original owner suffered a "blunt trauma," resulting in a skull fracture, most likely from being hit over the head so many times by falling anvils. Or Mark Burnett. Next week, they find a dead, beaten horse. |
2002.04.11 2002.04.18 |
Joanna |
| 4-6 Recap |
No One Told Me There'd Be Bean Salad! The Underdogs - Maraanu wins the lamest food reward yet: Sierra Mist and bean salad. For once, we're spared the resulting crappage, but the members of the other tribe sure talk about it enough. Also, John brandishes a knife at Rob, but fails to make contact thereby ensuring the intact status of his kneecaps...at least for this week. |
2002.04.04 2002.04.10 |
Joanna |
| 4-5 Recap |
Where's the Love? The End of Innocence - The self-proclaimed "Love Tribe" isn't feeling it this week as John deems Gabe untrustworthy, and rallies the other members to vote Gabe's Moppet ass out. Maraanu revels in its first and second victories, because what the tribe lacks in brains, wit, foresight, skill, ingenuity, talent, people skills, strategy, and just about every other positive attribute you can think of, they make up for in heart. Or so we're supposed to believe, anyway. |
2002.03.28 2002.04.03 |
Joanna |
| 4-4 Recap |
I Said That Time May Change Me, But I Can Change Tribes The Winds Twist - Rotu and Maraamu turn and face the strain this week as Peachy shakes up the tribes and then pretends it doesn't matter. The S13, however, are immune to his consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through: ch-ch-changes! |
2002.03.20 2002.03.26 |
Joanna |
| 4-3 Recap |
No, We're Never Gonna Survive, Unless We Get a Little Lazy No Pain, No Gain - The majority members of Maraamu don't want to be told to do any work, and they don't want to be asked to do any work, either. They don't seem to mind talking about work, but other than that they don't want to have anything to do with work, period. |
2002.03.13 2002.03.20 |
Joanna |
| 4-2 Recap |
Throw Mamma from the Tribe Nacho Mamma - Amazed to have lasted through one Tribal Council, Patricia gets cocky this week. And a cocky Patricia is not a pretty Patricia. Not that a non-cocky Patricia is a pretty Patricia either, particularly one requesting an application of sunscreen to her armpits. |
2002.03.07 2002.03.13 |
Joanna |
| 4-1 Recap |
Sixteen Strangers, Two Giant Boobs, and One Just Peachy Back to the Beach - Or maybe it's sixteen giant boobs, but the vote is still out on that one. After all, Robert and Vecepia seem tolerable, and Rob's kind of funny if you overlook the fact that it's not politically correct to laugh at the mentally handicapped. And then there's interesting Zoe, and Gina who seems harmless enough, and of course the wonderful-by- virtue-of-age-alone Paschal. Which leads directly to the conclusion that there's something seriously different about this fourth season of Survivor: they don't all suck. Not yet, anyway. |
2002.02.28 2002.03.07 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Crap from Africa Back from Africa - The S16 may be back from Africa, but the clips are still there. |
2002.01.17 2002.01.28 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Reunited and It Feel So...Well, Okay Survivor Africa Reunion - The S16 are together again before we even had the chance to miss them. But for those of you who've been hanging on patiently all season long...Rudy! |
2002.01.10 2002.01.23 |
Joanna |
| 3-13 Recap |
Fallen Comrats The Final Four: No Regrets - No one calls anyone a rat in the final Tribal Council, but maybe that's because all the rats ended up on the jury. |
2002.01.10 2002.01.17 |
Joanna |
| 3-12 Recap |
It Was Just My Machinations Runnin' Away With Me Truth Be Told - All anti-Lex Loser plotting is shot to hell this week as he wins yet another immunity challenge. Teresa then gets crafty -- and she gets around -- as she tries to save her own ass by convincing the other members of the Boran alliance that Tom was playing them. |
2002.01.03 2002.01.10 |
Joanna |
| 3-11 Recap |
Heffalumps and Wildebeests The Big Adventure - Like Pooh and Piglet -- except nothing like Pooh and Piglet, other than in fatness and smallness -- Big Tom and Lex Loser head off to discover new and exciting African animals. During their travels they encounter a good meal, a balloon ride, six bottles of Jack Daniels, and a kill. Hurrah! |
2001.12.27 2002.01.08 |
Joanna |
| 3-10 Recap |
To the Victor Go the Spuds We Are Family - Kimp can't talk through mouthfuls of ice cream sundae, and Ethan settles for a bowl of chocolate syrup in the Survivor auction. And then, in what is likely the best reward of all time, mashed potatoes are served! |
2001.12.20 2001.12.28 |
Joanna |
| 3-9 Recap |
Out in Africa Dinner, Movie and a Betrayal - Frank and Brandon win a movie date wherein Brandon enjoys Robert Redford and Frank enjoys Robert Redford's big guns. |
2001.12.13 2001.12.20 |
Joanna |
| 3-8 Recap |
Snake and Rat Redux Smoking Out the Snake - Lex hunts for vermin but catches something more catty than ratty, more Kelly than smelly. |
2001.12.06 2001.12.13 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Clips Show or Freak Show? Look Closer: Survivor Africa - The contestants' hidden psychoses are revealed this week after twenty-one days in Africa. Frank plays with deer antlers! Clarence likes to wear makeup! Tom dresses up in women's pantyhose! Well, he doesn't. Not in this episode, anyway. |
2001.11.29 2001.12.06 |
Joanna |
| 3-7 Recap |
Survivor: The Musical Will There Be a Feast Tonight? - This week's episode has everything you could ask for from a musical production: singing, dancing, and a reenactment of the crucifixion. And don't forget the pooping animals! |
2001.11.22 2001.11.28 |
Joanna |
| 3-6 Recap |
Don't Count Your Eggs Before They're Not Laid I'd Never Do It to You - Boranew wrestles with the issue of which to eat first: the chicken or the egg. Clarence can't stop talking about food, which surely should please his tribemates, who are trying not to think about the subject. At Sambutwo, the whine continues to flow. |
2001.11.15 2001.11.21 |
Joanna |
| 3-5 Recap |
When a Woman Has a Trouble With Her Butt... The Twist - Lindsey gets a tick stuck on her butt this week, and Tom is all too eager to help with its removal. Sure, it's skeevy, but it's funny too. |
2001.11.08 2001.11.15 |
Joanna |
| 3-4 Recap |
Cape (Buffalo) Fear The Young and the Untrusted - This week, the Boran tribe has a little run-in -- sans the running -- with a cape buffalo. The cape buffalo stares at them really hard, and then they walk away. At a Samburu Tribal Council, Just Peachy gets his full-fledged bitch on. Maybe he wants a job as a Mighty Big TV writer? |
2001.11.01 2001.11.07 |
Joanna |
| 3-3 Recap |
Thongs, Schlongs, and Happy Songs The Gods Are Angry - Boran shows off their fine and not-so-fine physiques, their ability to spontaneously produce festive music, and their lack of decent underwear. Samburu, meanwhile, shows off their complete lack of redeeming qualities. Stick a feather in your ass, and come join in the fun. |
2001.10.25 2001.10.31 |
Joanna |
| 3-2 Recap |
Blood: It Does a Body Good Who's Zooming Whom? - This week, the tribes drink cow blood for immunity. As if the blood of sacred cow isn't reward enough! |
2001.10.18 2001.10.22 |
Joanna |
| 3-1 Recap |
The Bean Scene Question of Trust - Clarence opens a can of beans without permission, and the Boran tribe gets into a big stew over it. Meanwhile at Samburu, Lindsey finds herself -- momentarily -- up the creek without a tampon. It's all about the tamponos. |
2001.10.11 2001.10.18 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Countdown or Smackdown? Countdown to Africa - Alicia's "I will always wave my finger in your face!" exclamation has warped the space-time continuum as we are forced again and again to watch this clip in various shows. Why does Mark Burnett want to punish us so much? |
2001.10.04 2001.10.14 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Survivor II: The So-So and Most Mediocre Moments! Survivor Season Two -- The Australian Outback: The Greatest & Most Outrageous Moments - When you think it's over, it goes on. And then there's even more. |
2001.09.01 2001.10.12 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Rudy! Rudy! Back From The Outback - If you're looking for Mackenzie Astin, a football, and raging Notre Dame fans, you're at the wrong site...but if you were hoping for a little Talking Rudy Doll, you're in luck. He doesn't say much, but what he does say says it all. |
2001.05.09 2001.05.17 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Hallmark Schmallmark The Outback Reunion - Hallmark's not getting a dime from Kel this year, who won't be sending Jerri a Christmas card. Alicia's not sending Kimmi a Christmas card either, but it's all good. |
2001.05.10 2001.05.10 |
Joanna |
| 2-14 Recap |
R-E-F-L-E-C-T -- Take Care, TCB! The Most Deserving - The S3 reflect this week about their Survivor experiences. Next, they reflect some more, and then they vote off Bozo the Keith. The S2 go on to reflect about being in the final two and voting off Bozo the Keith, and then the jury shows up and makes them reflect some more. After much reflection, Tina wins the title of "Soul Survivor." Further reflection ensues. |
2001.05.03 2001.05.08 |
Joanna |
| 2-13 Recap |
A Cowboy, a Clown, and Two Third Graders... The Final Four - ...walk into a bar. Actually, just the clown walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch." Later, he combs his beard hair. A lot. |
2001.04.26 2001.05.02 |
Joanna |
| 2-12 Recap |
Fire and Rice Enough Is Enough - Fire and Rice / Some say the world will end in fire, / Some say in rice. / From what I've tasted of desire / I hold with those who favor fire. / But if it had to perish twice, / I think I know enough of hate / To know that for destruction rice / Is also great / And would suffice. |
2001.04.19 2001.04.25 |
Joanna |
| 2-11 Recap |
Gag Me With a Spoon(ing) No Longer Just a Game - There's much cause for valley girl-esque exclamation this week as Barramundi's camp floods and Lamber gets voted off. Aaaahhhh Maaaahhhhh Gaaaaaaah! |
2001.04.12 2001.04.19 |
Joanna |
| 2-10 Recap |
Oh, Bucket Let's Make a Deal - The S7 have squandered their food supply and this week are forced to barter with Peachy for some rice he's been keeping warm for them...by sitting on it. Yummy! There's no reward challenge this week -- but there is a prize, anyway, that makes good use of Barramundi's latrine. Further scatology ensues. |
2001.04.05 2001.04.10 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
I Would Not Survive I Would Not Survive - Jessica stands in line for eight hours to try out for S3, and learns that she�s not cut out to rough it. |
2001.04.03 2001.04.03 |
Jessica |
| 2-9 Recap |
Hellbent Honeymoon or Not? - This week on Survivor Satan gets unexpectedly called back home. |
2001.03.29 2001.04.04 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Clip Gyp The First 24 Days: A Closer Look - If you spent the first half of the season watching Friends and clinging to the false hope that that was just a friendly and helpful dolphin over which the show jumped, this is the episode for you. For the rest of the audience, know this one very important thing: Colby snores. |
2001.03.21 2001.03.28 |
Joanna |
| 2-8 Recap |
If you love something, set it free Friends? - If it returns to you over and over and over again, it's a boomerang. Or Lamber. |
2001.03.14 2001.03.20 |
Joanna |
| 2-7 Recap |
Will you please be quiet, please? The Merge - Kimmi's big mouth leads to a tribal council that may be Kucha's downfall. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing -- shut up, Kimmi! |
2001.03.08 2001.03.13 |
Joanna |
| 2-6 Recap |
Well, hello there, Mr. Goodbar Trial by Fire - Jerri and Lamber talk about chocolate and sex. Then they talk about chocolate and sex again. Later, they talk some more about chocolate and sex. And then there's all that shrieking and yelling about chocolate and sex. Lamber almost eats a backgammon chip and Jerri says the words "hot dude's bod" causing television sets across the continent to explode. Even those fancy digital ones. |
2001.03.01 2001.03.07 |
Joanna |
| 2-5 Recap |
Talk to the Finger! The Gloves Come Off - This week at Kucha, Alicia gives Kimmi the finger -- the index finger. Much shouting and bitchery ensues. Kucha wins some toiletries, prompting Kimmi to grope herself on camera. Jerri gets some funky little glasses, and Ogakor finally wins a challenge. |
2001.02.22 2001.02.28 |
Joanna |
| 2-4 Recap |
It's Hard To Be Brave When You're A Very Small Animal The Killing Fields - And are being stalked in your debatably (un)natural habitat by a psychopathic motivational speaker. Oh, dear! Oh, dear, oh, dearie, dearie, dear! |
2001.02.15 2001.02.21 |
Joanna |
| 2-3 Recap |
Bam! Trust No One - Keith kicks it up a notch this week by gutting, filleting, and preparing the team's catch for the Ogakor Fish Fry. The other team members take copious notes. No one thanks God for the meal, or for making them leader of the tribe. At Kucha, this little Mikey wants roast pig. |
2001.02.08 2001.02.13 |
Joanna |
| 2-2 Recap |
Grass Jerri's Ass! Suspicion - The S15 eat worms, brains, grubs, tripe, grasshoppers, and other aboriginal foods. Then they're subject to the ultimate in terror as they fall prey to a batch of poorly prepared rice! A tortilla-making hero comes to Ogakor's rescue, but not in time to prevent one of their very own from the worst betrayal of all: eating grass and apologizing for it. |
2001.02.01 2001.02.06 |
Joanna |
| 2-1 Recap |
First They Were Afraid! Stranded - They were petrified! To think that they could never live with Kimmi by their sides! And then they spent a couple nights listening to her go on and on and they were wrong! And now it's Debb Eaton who's gone! |
2001.01.28 2001.02.01 |
Joanna |
| Extra |
Striking It Rich a Second Time Survivor Season One: The Greatest and Most Outrageous Moments - Didn't get to rehash your memories of the first Survivor season enough last fall? Well, the Survivor DVD is out, and it's got more curse words than an episode of the Chris Rock Show. And Richard's naked, uncensored ass. Watch it if only for that reason. |
2001.01.28 2001.01.28 |
Omar G |
| Extra |
Gr�sse Brueder Gr�sse Brueder - German correspondent Ari analyzes the reasons that the U.S. production was about as exciting as oatmeal -- and greatly overshadowed by Survivor -- while the German version was a national phenomenon. |
2000.09.28 2000.09.28 |
Ari |
| Extra |
Burnett's Book of Love Burnett's Book of Love - Wing Chun obtains a copy of the Survivor book and reviews it, two whole days before its official release date. (And you had better believe she's doing Rich's fire dance over this once-in-a-lifetime score.) Get the scoop! |
2000.09.10 2000.09.10 |
Wing Chun |
| Extra |
Survivor: The Reunion Survivor: The Reunion - After a thrilling season and an incendiary season finale, CBS reverts back to its Old Fogie formula to bring us a reunion special hosted by Bryant Gumbel that brings new meaning to the word "turgid." |
2000.08.23 2000.09.08 |
Omar G |
| Extra |
Behind the Scenes Behind the Scenes - Exclusive to Mighty Big TV! Glark brings you behind the scenes footage from the final four finale! |
2000.08.26 2000.08.26 |
Glark |
| 1-13 Recap |
Endgame Final Four - The last four contestants compete in a long episode that tests their ability to stand and their ability to remember boring details about others. It's not exactly the larvae-eating challenge in terms of excitement. Kelly proves that she's a trouper, but Rich shows why he got to where he is. And Sue gives the bitterest speech delivered since the days of Nixon. |
2000.08.23 2000.08.30 |
Omar G |
| 1-12 Recap |
Here's Mud In Your Lies Death of an Alliance - We see Sue and Kelly lose their budding Sapphic friendship. And then we see Sean's dumb ass get voted off (at the reunion special, he's the one who'll be asking, "Wait...you mean I didn't win a million dollars? Then who did I vote for?"). |
2000.08.16 2000.08.16 |
Omar G |
| 1-11 Recap |
Ship Of Fools Long Hard Days - Colleen's scabrous, leprous, unglamorous, Tyrannosaurus-textured legs get a close-up, a premonition of her getting scratched off the island later on. The weather acts up, but the six Survivors act worse. Sean wins a night on a yacht with his dad and a masseuse; Kelly wins the immunity challenge; island cutie Colleen's luck finally runs out. (Deep breath.) Prepare yourselves. It's penultimate Survivor time. |
2000.08.09 2000.08.09 |
Glark Wing Chun |
| 1-10 Recap |
Chicks, Hicks, Dicks, and Tricks Crack In The Alliance - One castaway wins a night of luxury on a yacht. Sue gets pissed off, maybe more so than usual. |
2000.08.02 2000.08.02 |
Joanna |
| 1-9 Recap |
Oh, What a Tangled Web They Weave Old And New Bonds - Talking Rudy Doll burns the S8's fish dinner, and Rich pouts about it. Kelly conveniently sprouts a conscience. Jenna goes home to her beauties...and her local cosmetics counter. |
2000.07.26 2000.07.26 |
Joanna |
| 1-8 Recap |
So That's Where He Gets It From... Thy Name Is Duplicity - Greg cuts his play kitten loose and moves on to bigger things. And we do mean "bigger." Peachy revels in Jenna's bad news while Greg's sister reveals the deep dark secret of the Buis family, causing the other castaways to writhe in horror and then vote him out. |
2000.07.19 2000.07.19 |
Joanna |
| 1-7 Recap |
Merger Day Massacre The Merger - The tribes merge. Idiot Seanvant and Jenna get bored playing ambassador and start a healthy game of doctor. Pagong joins Tagi at their beach, Greg holds his breath for a long time, and Gretchen's farewell breaks our hearts. |
2000.07.12 2000.07.12 |
Joanna |
| 1-6 Recap |
On the Verge of the Merge Udder Revenge - On the verge of the merge, Gervase makes an upsetting cow-ment, but Joel takes the fall. Tagi continues its plotting to rule the world. Or at least to rule its twenty-by-twenty-foot stretch of beach. |
2000.07.05 2000.07.05 |
Joanna |
| 1-5 Recap |
Row, Row, Row Your Dopes! Pulling Your Own Weight - Gervase throws all laws of God and nature into chaos when he actually contributes to his team's effort. Colleen and Greg auditioned for He Said, She Said II: Island Boogaloo. Dirk bangs his Bible all the way back to Wisconsin. |
2000.06.28 2000.06.28 |
Joanna |
| 1-4 Recap |
Bungle in the Jungle Too Little Too Late? - Gervase reveals that he runs as well as he swims. Richard gets sneaky at Tagi. Sue jumps on board Richard's alliance, and Kelly comes sniveling after. Ramona quits her moaning. For good. |
2000.06.21 2000.06.21 |
Joanna |
| 1-3 Recap |
Just Parashoot Me Quest for Food - Susan snits and Rudy prances. Dirk doesn't want to play; he just wants to bang on his Bible all day. The Pagong tribe gets down and dirty while a personal flotation device does little to prevent Gervase from almost drowning. Stacey snarks herself right off the island, leading an exodus of other rats and assorted nasty creatures. |
2000.06.14 2000.06.14 |
Joanna |
| 1-2 Recap |
And They're Chock Full of Protein! The Generation Gap - B.B. gets the boot. Stacey continues her war against Rudy. Colleen and Greg get friendly -- but not in a homosexual way, that's for sure. Sean refuses to speak in coherent sentences. |
2000.06.07 2000.06.07 |
Joanna |
| 1-1 Recap |
Quest for Fire The Marooning - "From this tiny Malaysian fishing village, these sixteen Americans are beginning the voyage of a lifetime." |
2000.05.31 2000.05.31 |
Joanna |
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