It's Friday night. Joey Lauren Adams is having a very loud party across the street from me as I write. And it was announced in the trades this morning that The $treet has been cancelled. You cannot fucking handle my rock star life, can you? (Actually, I swear, I have a bunch of parties to go to tomorrow night. I'm not a total loser. Just tonight I am.)
Previously on The $treet: Giancarlo strangely told Alex and TES that Balmont-Stevens is "not a dating service" and that they'll have to work together. For that matter, it's not much of an investment bank, either. Alex and TES had "jealousy sex," and then TES screeched, "There are bigger issues here." Yeah, like what you're going to do for employment week. (Ah fuck, what am I going to do for employment week? ['There's always The Lone Gunmen. Heh heh heh." -- Wing Chun]) Jennie Garth asked brother Timmy-Fell-Down-A-Well for an advance on her trust. The Rocke-who hit Rickman after he talked about how her getting left behind when her married lover at her last firm took his family to London. She never wears underwear, she revealed.
Morning. Shower. Guitar of Auctioning Off The Wardrobe and Set Pieces Any Day Now. The Rocke-who cleans her face when the phone rings. She answers in a towel. It's her mother, which she somehow knows before picking up. Crazy broken-up shots of the conversation. She tells her mom that yes, she's with someone, in fact she has two men in her bed and one in her closest. She hangs up. Joey Lauren Adams has terrible taste in music, by the way.
TV show taping. Goldberg is on a financial show as the opening bell rings somewhere, talking about stocks. They talk about market trends and Blue Chips and blah blah blah call-your-agent-nowcakes. The producer's over-enthusiastic actress girlfriend makes the most of her small role by displaying her "pizzazz"; she asks Goldberg about "media giant" Janson-Field. Goldberg explains that though he issued a "strong buy" earlier on the stock, he's now downgrading it to a "hold." Meanwhile, Fox is downgrading the show to a "cancel."
Street. A well-tailored black dude walks with his posse, talking into his cell phone about Goldberg downgrading the stock. "I got something he can 'hold' right here. If he's dissing Janson, he's dissing me." He yells something that sounds like, "Who is this goon-talking Mitchell cat, anyway?" but if they don't care enough to mic him properly, I don't care enough to make sure what he said.
Office. Goldberg steps out of the elevator to the extras applauding his appearance on the show. He stutter-thanks them. Donna tells him that some men are waiting for him in the conference room, and without wondering who they are or why they don't have an appointment, he heads in there alone. "Evan Freakin' Mitchell," says the guy, as his homie throws a chair into the window, shattering the glass. They hold a screaming Goldberg out the window and make him repeat, "I am one dumb-ass analyst." They also make him repeat, "I am one out-of-work actor." The guy then says, "Upgrade Janson, or the stock won't be the only thing that's dropping." (Insert your own Fox "dropping" joke here.) Goldberg overacts "fear" before the credits roll for the second-to-last time.
Joey Lauren Adams plays "Bad To The Bone" on eleven as we come back from commercials. Hallway. The Boys, minus the hospital-bound Goldberg, walk. Rickman announces that Goldberg is okay but that the cops lost the bad guy on the FDR. The hip-hop-knower Nicky NotKatt reveals that the bad guy was "Urban Decay," a rapper (real name Darrell Knowles.) The funny part is TES calls him a "rap singer." ["The funnier part is that the actor has the same name as a brand of 'alternative' makeup." -- Wing Chun] They talk about how Urban Decay had a song, "Baby Got Shelf," which truly shows the lack of imagination of the writing staff -- or the fact that by this episode they had pretty much given up hope. Rickman performs the rap, and it's very white but still pretty funny; he says he is a connoisseur of talent and owns a copy. Nicky talks about how Urban has a history of violence -- including throwing an actress out of a moving car. Funny, Fox just threw the show out of a moving Wednesday night line-up. As they wonder why the attack against Goldberg was made, the ever-creepy, and thankfully nearly-done-with-this-role Giancarlo reveals that Urban Decay's music is distributed by a subsidiary of Janson-Field and he probably has stock and la la la. We're now in the conference room and Giancarlo makes an announcement, that the bank is acquiring French Merchant Bank, and that they'll need a team to go work in Paris for a while, and that any interested parties should submit their names for consideration to leave tomorrow.