Vito is playing house with Morgan Spurlock/Johnny Cakes. Vito discovers that, in the real world, you have to work for a living and pay your way, and that it's tough being a working stiff. Even though his relationship with Johnny Cakes seems to be going well, Vito takes off and heads back to Jersey. On the way, Vito gets in an accident, and when the other driver insists on calling the cops, Vito kills him to avoid the cops. Vito ends up back in Newark, but hasn't contacted anyone yet. Paulie does have cancer, but it's an early stage, so he's undergoing radiation and doesn't want anyone but Tony to know about it. Janice bugs Tony for a promotion for Bobby, but Tony still thinks Bobby is a joke. Bobby gets mugged by a bunch of kids while making his collections, and one of the kids accidentally shoots a gun which knocks some asphalt into Bobby's eye, blinding him. Carm keeps bugging Tony to lean on the building inspector. Tony tells Sil to do it, but after realizing that Carmela is more interested in her spec house than taking care of him and the house, Tony tells Sil not to bother. Johnny Sack gets his brother-in-law to ask Tony to organize the sale of a company so the Sacks can get some cash with the upcoming trial. Tony doesn't want to deal with it, but finally works out a deal where Johnny Sack sells his house to Janice. Johnny Sack accepts a deal where he goes to jail for fifteen years and gives up most of his assets, but he has to admit guilt in open court, which pisses everyone off.
Sal Vitro, who you may remember as the landscaper that Tony screwed over and used as a pawn to appease Johnny Sack, stands outside Casa di Soprano and waits for Tony to appear. Tony comes waddling out in his bathrobe to grab the paper (a first for this season, although most seasons open that way), and Sal corners him to ask whether he still needs to cut Johnny Sack's lawn for free, even though Johnny's in prison and all. There's snow on the ground, indicating that a month or two has passed since the last episode. Tony reminds Sal that they took care of his Feech La Manna problem. Tell me Feech La Manna doesn't sound like a skin disease: "Doctor, do you have any ointment to help out with this Feech La Manna on my back? It's killing me!" Tony calls Sal "a selfish prick" for not realizing that this is when the Sack family needs him most. Sal refrains from pointing out that he's losing money on the deal, and kind of just wants things to go back to the way they were before Feech happened.
Johnny Sack meets with his lawyer. I will say this about the lighting director for this show -- he knows how to make the smoke curling off Johnny's ever-present cigarettes look really freaking cool. Anyway, the lawyer says that he's been told to clear his schedule, which means that Johnny's trial is going to happen -- and soon. Also, the government has drawn up a list of Johnny's assets. Johnny checks out the list and is shocked to see that his "vintage Wurlitzer" on there, and wonders whether the Feds went though his sock drawer. I know Johnny is rich and all, but is his sock drawer really big enough to contain a jukebox? The lawyer lets Johnny know that the Feds found pretty much everything, and estimated Johnny's worth at around five million. Really? I would have thought it was more than that. I mean, his house alone has got to be worth a million or more, right? Of course, this is just his legitimate money, the money they could find. Johnny wonders why his lawyer is trying to bring him down, and the lawyer says that he's obligated to bring up the idea of cooperating with the Feds again. Johnny gets pissed and equates flipping on the Family to his presumably Jewish lawyer collaborating with the Nazis. The lawyer says that he wouldn't represent a turncoat anyway, and Johnny grumbles that turncoats would kill the lawyer's practice. Well, not exactly. Someone has to negotiate the terms, right?
Tony peruses through some pornography is his office. Just another hint that things are looking up in Tony's pants. Ew, not like that. Well, actually, exactly like that, you perv. He's interrupted when Janice rolls in with Nica in a stroller. Tony hides his magazine, as Janice starts bitching about some special pork loin she ordered that Tony absconded with for Carmela. As much as I enjoy Tony and Janice scrapping, I would really like to see Carmela and Janice get into a no-holds-barred fight. If it didn't get physical, I might bet on Carmela. Bitch can be ice cold. But Janice would totally throw beer into someone's weave. Anyway, Tony smiles at Nica, and says that she looks just like Janice, adding, "Bacala's got no fucking genes at all." How is that even an insult? I guess it could be a knock at Bobby's masculinity. Janice notes that Tony never misses a chance to "shit on" her husband, which is an unfortunate mental image. Tony backpedals, and Janice wants Tony to admit that he blames them for the shooting. Tony says, "Unfortunately, I have only myself to blame." Janice picks up on the word "unfortunately" and says that Tony clearly wants to blame someone. What is she, Melfi now? Tony carefully rephrases: "I have only myself to blame."
Janice finally gets to the real reason why she came down there: to pick a fight. She bitches that usually marrying the boss's sister is a step up, but Bobby still isn't officially a captain. It's funny how Janice is the only female on the show who openly discusses Family business with Tony; everyone else uses euphemisms and shades of meaning. Janice lists all the things that Tony picks on Bobby about: his weight, his model railroading. Tony yells, "He's a grown man." Janice spits back, "Oh, but it's okay for Neil Young." Tony points out that Neil Young owns Lionel, which is true. I saw a special on it one time. Nica makes a noise, and Janice yells at her to take care of her things because the baby dropped a stuffed animal. She's less than a year old. I'm so sure she dropped the animal on purpose. Janice wonders where Tony's anger and hatred for her comes from, and I could take a guess or two, but I'll let Janice list her faults: "I know I'm not perfect. I know I annoy people. I think about you, lying in that hospital bed. I cried for you. I sat with you." So in addition to being imperfect and annoying, Janice also knows how to lay down a killer guilt trip. Tony sighs and sincerely says that he knows, and he appreciated it, but they both know that Janice would complain no matter what he did. Janice, near tears, gives her final rejoinder: "There's nothing holding us together but DNA."
Vito's in the little New Hampshire library, talking on his cell phone to a casino or something, asking whether they have slot machines. He hangs up, and sneaks a bottle of booze (which is already almost empty) out of his pocket, and then takes a swig. So Vito's getting bored with the straight life, just like Tony. Jimbo (formerly Morgan Spurlock) walks up and is shocked that Vito is sitting there doodling and looking at books about motorcycles instead of writing his book. Um, it's called research? When you're a writer, anything you do when you're not writing is research. Four hours playing games on Yahoo? Research. Re-alphabetizing your CD collection? Research. You never know! Someday you might write a story about...a writer who procrastinates. Theoretically. Anyway, Vito pulls the research line, but Jimbo says that he found a racetrack trifecta ticket in his trash. What? That could be research. I'm totally on Vito's side here.
Jimbo storms out of the library, and Vito chases after him. Jimbo wonders if Vito is even a sports writer, and exposits that he's asked Vito to move in with him, but, due to Vito's lies, he's now reconsidering. Vito lights a cigarette to buy himself some time, and Jimbo starts to walk away. Vito calls him back and admits that he's not a writer, and that he's not from Scottsdale; he's actually from New Jersey. Vito explains that "some shit went down" and he "had to leave." Well, that's one way of putting it. Vito admits that he left his home, his contracting business, and his wife and kids. Jimbo smells the alcohol on Vito's breath and calls him on it. Vito says that his life is difficult, he misses home, and he's running out of money. And now Jimbo is just one more complication. Jimbo asks him about the wife and kids, and Vito says that he's been divorced for a few years, because, really, what's one more lie? Vito makes Jimbo promise not to tell anyone, ever. Jimbo reminds Vito that he was married, too, and adds that he can probably get Vito some work as a handyman.
Ginny Sack opens her front door (wearing a robe and a turban) to find all the Jersey wives there yelling "Surprise!" Apparently, it's Ginny's birthday. The New York wives couldn't throw her a party? Janice, Carmela, Gab, Angie, and Rosalie (yay!) filter in. Rosalie is carrying a bottle of wine, and her hair is an architectural masterpiece. And she's wearing leopard-print pants. Or possibly python. And I think they're leather. Could we get a Rosalie Aprile spinoff, please? As she walks in, Carmela calls out a hello to Sal Vitro, and when he barely acknowledges her, she complains that he's "such a mope."
Inside the Sack living room, the ladies drink wine and gossip. Ginny says that her daughters are a comfort, although Allegra has been bitchy lately. Rosalie and Gab chalk it up to the stress of being a newlywed and realizing that marriage isn't everything she imagined. Janice walks in and gushes over the beautiful house. The conversation is interrupted by Angie's cell phone conversation in the other room, where she bitches loudly at someone. Janice can't stop talking about how great the house is, and Ginny says that she takes it for granted and spends most of her time upstairs. Ro recommends Wellbutrin, and Ginny says that she shouldn't complain, because others have it worse. Carmela gets annoyed by Angie's continued business conversation in the other room. That would be annoying. It seems like Angie just wants the other women to know how important she is.
At Jimbo's house, Vito crawls into bed with his new boyfriend. They cuddle a little, and then kiss a little. Vito -- or the actor playing him -- looks really uncomfortable. I'm not sure whether it's an acting choice or a non-acting choice, if you get my drift. Anyway, Jimbo rolls Vito over onto his side for easier access.
And then we cut to one of Bobby's trains going into a tunnel. Get it? I think we do. Anyway, Bobby is in the garage, trying to get Bobby Jr. interested in playing with some trains. Bobby Jr., like any sensible teen, wants nothing to do with his father's nerdy habit. At least Bobby Jr. is polite about it, but he'd rather go to a friend's house, where they're making a music video. With dry ice! Is there anything cooler than dry ice when you're fourteen? Bobby tells his son to "check out the Moe 'n' Joe action," and shows off a device that unloads tiny fake logs into a tiny fake train car. Bobby tries to entice his son into having a train race, but Bobby Jr. isn't interested. Politely.
Tony walks into the kitchen and gives Carmela a kiss. She's too busy opening bills and pouting to react. Tony calls attention to her "gray cloud" and then asks where AJ is. Carmela doesn't answer, and then finally nags Tony about talking to the building inspector. Tony pretends like he didn't forget the whole thing, and lies that he sent Little Paulie, and they're having a hard time making headway. Carmela sucks lemons, and Tony says that he'll get Sil on it.
So Tony tells Sil to go lean on the Montville building inspector. Sil is really busy putting up a poster for a porn movie to his desk. Ginny's brother Anthony shows up, and Tony greets him as "the Lord of the Lenses." Anthony gives Tony a gift -- a new Cross pen. Tony isn't too impressed, but it's just a formality anyway. Anthony sits and says that he has news from Johnny, but it's supposed to be for Tony only. Silvio gets the hint and leaves. Anthony says that Johnny's a silent partner in a New Orleans equipment-leasing business. Tony thinks this is awesome because "FEMA's down there handing out Krugerrands in buckets," adding that he'd like to see "Dick Cheney for President...of the fucking universe." As I am personally anti-Cheney, I was annoyed by that line at first, until I realized that Tony is essentially saying that Cheney's involvement (probably both governmentally and corporately) has made it possible for massive corruption, leading to lots of money for the Mob. So that's not exactly a compliment. Anyway, Anthony gets to the point and says that Johnny needs cash, and he wants Tony to sell off the company. Also, Anthony doesn't want Phil involved. Tony shrugs, and Anthony quickly adds that there will be a finder's fee. Suddenly, Tony is a little more interested.
Vito works outdoors at an old farmhouse, mixing cement. He looks around, kind of like, "What the fuck am I doing?" Cut to Vito, napping out in the barn. The homeowner comes out and angrily asks what's going on. Vito says that he wasn't sleeping, and adds that he needs to rest his hips, which need surgery. Which is probably a line they took from the actor, who actually did need to have hip replacement surgery.
Tony walks into the dining room, and Carm is already seated at the table. He asks whether he's early for dinner, since there's no food nearby. Carmela announces that she's interviewing a new contractor for her spec house, and it happens to be the same guy who built Ginny's house. Carm tells Tony how much Janice loved the house. Tony's still kind of like, "Where the fuck's dinner?" so Carmela says that she picked up some sandwiches for dinner. Tony roots around for a sandwich, and then points out that Hugh built their house and did a good job, and getting a new contractor could end up costing Carmela a lot of time. Carmela ignores him, clearly not wanting to talk about her father. She slaps a plate down on the table for Tony, and asks why he suddenly cares so much about her father.
Tony's at Melfi's office. He claims that he likes that Carmela has little projects, because it makes her happy and keeps her busy. The problem is that "she's a million miles away" -- even in bed. Well, there's half your problem. Move closer! Melfi thinks that Tony wants to encourage Carmela, but only as long as it doesn't interfere with his life. Tony claims that he and Carmela came to an understanding before they reconciled: he would financially back her house, and Carm "would have more of a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy" towards Tony's extramarital activity. You know, I didn't think that was their agreement (I thought Carm told him he couldn't cheat any more), but upon review, Tony's pretty much right. Melfi thought that there hadn't been any extramarital tomfoolery since the shooting, and Tony says that there hasn't. He sighs and looks out the window for a while before spilling that Janice came to see him at work. He adds that his whole family gets meat for free from Satriale's. And given what we know about Tony's meat equals sex thing, that's pretty interesting. Anyway, Tony reminisces that his father used to drop the kids off at Satriale's, and that they would go in the back to sneak cigarettes and play house. At what age are you old enough to sneak cigarettes but also young enough to play house, I wonder? Tony relays how Janice thinks that he's mean to her and her husband, and she's right: "I love it when I can take a shit on her. And her husband." Tony giggles, even now, over how he laughed when he thought of Bobby having to change Uncle Junior's diapers. Melfi wonders whether Tony enjoys seeing "Bob" and Janice in a position of weakness. Melfi thinks that the Bacalas are committing "acts of kindness," and Tony responds, "Janice only does acts of Janice," which is an awesome line. Tony disagrees with Melfi, and says that he did used to get along with Janice. She was the cool older sister, and did some "heroic shit" against Livia. Melfi thinks Janice defended Tony, but Tony says that it was every man for himself in their family. Tony remembers one time when his parents left Janice in charge. He trails off, and Melfi nudges him to continue. Tony says that Janice tape-recorded Barb and Tony having a fight, and then held the cassette tape over his head for years to get him to do things. Melfi asks whether Barb got the same treatment, but Tony thinks that that's not the point: "You still don't get what it means to tape somebody in my family? You still don't fucking get this?"
Anthony, Ginny's Brother, goes to see Johnny in prison. Anthony is trying to talk in code about the deal with Tony, using phrases like "the coffee with the chicory," and even Johnny Sack is like, "What the fuck are you talking about?" Anthony refers to "our friend with the stomach," and finally has to resort to saying Tony's initials. Johnny finally gets it and asks whether Tony is going to comply. Anthony says that Tony wants "ten cups for himself, not seven." Johnny is blown away by Tony's unbridled caffeine habit, but realizes he doesn't have a lot of negotiating power here. Johnny asks Anthony whether he picked up the cake "with the marzipan flowers" for Ginny. Anthony thinks that they're still talking code, but Johnny is talking about a real cake. Oh, Johnny Sack in prison. What an endless source of comedy.
Jimbo's beeper goes off in the middle of the night. Now that's what I'm talking about. Why does the firehouse across the street from me still use a siren? Anyway, Vito hops out of bed and announces that he's coming, too. Jimbo says that Vito can, as long as he stands clear of the action.
At the scene. A church. One of the firemen explains to Vito that the basement is flooded, and that they're trying to shut off the water. Problem is that the pastor is trapped down there, and there are live wires arcing around. Vito says that he spent years as a contractor doing electrical. We cut to Vito climbing a ladder with a giant pair of wire cutters. He cuts two wires and the power goes out. I really thought he was going to get electrocuted there. Anyway, everyone cheers for him -- except Jimbo, who is pissed that Vito didn't stay clear as ordered. Vito says that he had to act, because the pastor was going to die. Jimbo wonders if Vito is "trying to be the big man," and they start shoving each other around. Is this foreplay? The other guys get things calmed down, but Vito and Jimbo are still glaring at each other.
Afterwards, the guys go out to a local tavern for a drink. What local tavern is open late enough that Vito and Jimbo were awakened from a deep sleep to go to the scene, presumably spent some time there, and then went for a drink? Maybe they re-opened just for the firemen. Anyway, Vito tells the guys that now he understands why they do what they do. One of them encourages Vito to join the department. Jimbo says that firefighting is a commitment, and that you have to have a passion. (I don't think he's just talking about the job.) Vito says that he has bad hips and needs surgery. (I do think he is just talking about the job.) Another guy guesses that Vito will blow that popsicle stand as soon as he hears from his publisher. Vito and Jimbo just nod at each other, and Vito changes the subject by trying to get the guys to play darts or poker. One of the guys says that it's almost midnight. What the fuck time did Vito and Jimbo go to bed originally, 6:00 PM? The guys are tired and want to go home, despite Vito's adrenaline high.
Bobby makes a collection and walks outside with the envelope in his pocket. Before he can get into his vehicle, some young punk hits him with a pipe. There's a whole gang of young teens, standing around and beating the crap out of Bobby, who wonders whether they know who he is. One of the teens grabs the envelope from Bobby's pocket, and another one of them pulls out a gun. Bobby begs them to reconsider, because he has kids. They laugh and egg one another on, until the kid with the gun pulls the trigger, aiming for the ground near Bobby's head -- probably just to scare Bobby and also to say that he pulled the trigger. Except the bullet ricochets some gravel up into Bobby's eye. The the kids take off, yelling at the shooter and wondering what in the hell he was thinking. Bobby just rolls around on the ground, clutching his eye.
Tony has dinner with the owners of the New Orleans business he's trying to liquidate for Johnny Sack. One of the guys is totally reasonable and there to talk turkey. The other guy has fabulous hair, and has obviously learned how people from New Orleans talk by renting The Big Easy. And don't get me wrong, I love that movie, but even I know there's more to a New Orleans accent than slurring a little bit and tossing around the word cher. Anyway, Tony says that he'll give them thirty days to get some bidders, and then they can deliver John's half of the money to Tony. Sensible Guy is surprised to hear that Johnny expects half, and yells at Dennis Quaid-A-Like for his "football jones." Tony explains that they took Johnny's loan, and that it helped them expand, so now Johnny's just trying to cash in. It's business. Sensible Guy agrees. Tony notes that the two guys don't act like brothers, and Sensible says that they're actually in-laws -- Dennis Quaid-A-Like (or DQ) married his little sister. DQ grabs another bourbon or something and says, "Fifteen years enjoying womanly company and I had to come all the way to New Jersey to truly get fucked." Does he know who he's talking to? Tony holds back for a minute and then snaps that he's doing this as a favor to John, and that he doesn't want a problem. Sensible Guy assures Tony that there's no problem. DQ wonders whether Tony thinks it's smart to sell the business when there's tons of money pouring into New Orleans right now. Tony says that he would "if John Sacrimoni asked [him] to." DQ slams down his napkin and smarms, "Well, we're very different people." I'm sure DQ thinks that means that he's smart and Tony's not, but what I got out of it was that he's got a death wish, and Tony doesn't. Sensible looks horrified at his brother-in-law's actions.
Tony sleeps on the couch at home, an empty ice cream bowl balanced on his massive stomach. One of my pregnant friends told me that the best thing about having a big belly is that she always has somewhere to rest her hands. I'm sure Tony can relate. Tony is woken up by the ringing phone. When he answers, Paulie asks whether he heard about Bobby. Tony says that Janice called to tell him earlier, and he's surprised that Bobby would go to such a bad part of town this late at night. Paulie is disappointed that he doesn't get to be the first to relay the bad news, because he loves gossip. He adds that doctors are optimistic about Bobby's recovery. Tony is reminded about Paulie's medical woes, and asks about his biopsy results. Paulie spills that he does have cancer. Tony is shocked and nearly drops his ice cream bowl. Paulie says that they caught it early, and that he is doing a course of radiation. Tony tries to lighten things up and asks Paulie whether he is going to keep his hair. Paulie says that things are fine so far and he "must have done good things in [his] life." Seriously? Does he really believes that? Tony has no response, and Paulie says that he doesn't want anyone else to know about the cancer. Tony agrees.
Tony walks into the office. Carlo brings up the fact that Bobby is currently wearing an eye patch, and is quite shaken up over his experience. Tony blames the victim for his stupidity. Paulie defends Bobby, which is funny given the bad blood between those two, although maybe Paulie just gets nervous when Tony treats guys with medical issues as weak. Carlo reports that Bobby may need a corneal transplant, and tosses Tony an envelope. Carlo adds that, even with his injury, Bobby was just concerned about making his collections. Tony doesn't think that it has anything to do with "honor and loyalty," and that Bobby just knew the incident was his fault. Carlo and Paulie seem kind of disgusted with Tony's attitude. Tony tells Sil not to give him that look. I think Sil had the same look he always does, so even Tony knows that he's acting shitty.
Johnny Sack's lawyer, Ron, meets with the prosecutor, Renee, to try to cut a deal. She offers up a sentence of twenty years in prison and 90% of Johnny's assets seized. Ron is shocked, and says that they might as well go to trial. Renee points out that they have good evidence, so a trial may not be Johnny's best option, but she asks for a counter-offer. Johnny's lawyer repeats something he has clearly said many times -- that Johnny wants the items that have nothing to do with him left alone. That would include the house, Ginny's car, Ginny's IRA, and his daughter's condo. And he also only wants to serve twelve years. Renee scoffs, "For conspiracy to commit murder? Get back to me when you're sober, Ron."
Tony hangs out at the Bacala house, waiting for dinner and watching football with Bobby. Tony's annoyed because his recliner doesn't recline, giving him just one more thing to put in the negative column of the mental scorecard he's clearly creating against Bobby. Janice comes in and hands the two guys beers, and says Carmela will be along shortly. Bobby asks when Barb and Tom will get there, and Janice says that she asked them to bring wine, and they'll see how long that takes. See? More tantalizing information about Barb and Tom. I'm fascinated by them. Why does it take them a long time to get wine? Are they idiots? Or do they just seize on any excuse to show up late to dinner and leave early because they hate the Soprano family? Janice asks Bobby whether he took his Vicodin, and then snatches the beer out of his hands. Tony adds that to his "Bobby is weak" tally, and then tries to make conversation about the football game. Bobby Jr. walks by and says that he's going over to his friend's house to watch the Chargers. Bobby can't believe his son doesn't want to watch the Giants play, and Bobby Jr. says that he hates "the fucking Giants." Father and son continue to argue, and Bobby Jr. points out that AJ didn't have to come to Sunday dinner. Janice shows up and mock-sweetly points out that AJ's is working, and Bobby Jr. is free to go get a job, too, as soon as he reads his last report card out loud to everyone. Tony looks curious, but Bobby Jr. doesn't move. Janice tells him to go finish his Spanish report before dinner, and he takes off up the stairs, dejected. Janice tells her stepdaughter to set the table for dinner, and she does. So Janice clearly wears the pants in the family -- the kids listen to her, and don't listen to Bobby. Now, that could be because Janice is fucking terrifying, and damaging those kids for life, but I don't know if Tony sees it that way, because it's just more evidence for his "Bobby is weak" campaign.
Tony tells Melfi about Bobby's injury, and admits that he's disgusted with what goes on in Janice's family. Melfi wonders whether it's just bad luck, or if Tony thinks Janice deserves what she gets. Tony doesn't know, but he does know that Janice attracts drama and "creams over the misery." Ew. Melfi asks simply, "Does she remind you of anyone?" Tony doesn't answer and starts going on and on how, when they were growing up, Janice was beautiful and always had tons of guys after her. Melfi wonders whether Tony was "sexually threatened," and Tony is disgusted that she thinks he wanted to fuck his mother and also his sister. Melfi says that it's normal to have sexual feelings for a sibling early on, and that it was probably mutual. Tony is still grossed out. Melfi changes tacks and wonders why Tony and Janice had a strong bond as kids, but don't now. Tony says that Janice fought with Livia and took off as soon as she could, something he never would have done because he did what he was told. Melfi asks Tony what he got from his father, and Tony thinks she's talking about success and money. Melfi thinks there's something else. I think Melfi's referencing the anxiety attacks or various other psychological problems, but Tony ignores that and says that he ended up having to deal with his mother for years, while Janice got to take off, live life, and have fun. And now Janice is back, expecting a piece of the pie that she didn't earn. Tony concludes, "She gets nothing! 'Cause I got the scars! It's mine!" Melfi looks a little shocked at the anger and is probably thinking, "I can't believe I didn't bring up his sister like three years ago! This is a goldmine of repressed feelings."
Vito sautés some onions and garlic, preparing dinner. He lights some candles, as Jimbo returns home from a call. Vito explains that he's making dinner like they do back home. He dishes out the first course for Jimbo and then goes back to chopping onions. Jimbo comes over and starts kissing Vito's neck. Vito tells him that he needs to wait, and Jimbo sighs, and says that he was a real dick when they were at the call at the church the other night. Jimbo gets all serious and tells Vito he loves him, and Vito replies, "I love you, Johnnycakes." And then they nuzzle foreheads, which is such a fucking copout. Who doesn't kiss after declaring their love for each other? I'm sorry if the actors are uncomfortable kissing each other or whatever, but then maybe they shouldn't play gay characters in love.
The day, Vito is sawing some wood (literally, not like snoring or something) at the farm where he's been working. He has this whole internal monologue with himself about what time it is, and how soon it will be lunchtime. He won't allow himself to look at his watch, and continues talking himself through the day and how much progress he's made. The point is that Vito's fucking bored stiff with this job and playing mental games to get through it -- anyone who's had a boring job is familiar with this ploy, except in an office, it's more like, "I'm going to go get a drink of water, and then go to the bathroom, and by the time I get back to my computer, it'll be time for lunch." Anyway, Vito is convinced it's nearly noon, but when he looks at his watch, it's not even 11:00 AM, and he yells out, "Fuck me!"
Early morning at Jimbo's house. Jimbo wakes up, and Vito's not in bed. Jimbo assumes that he's in the bathroom and yells something out about jiggling the handle, but gets no response. He stands up and sees an empty closet and an empty dresser. He looks into the driveway and sees that Vito's car is gone too. Aw. Poor Jimbo. And he'll never know why. We cut to Vito driving quickly out of town.
Ron the Lawyer meets with Johnny Sack to explain the the prosecutor is going to recommend Johnny serve fifteen years and give up 4.1 million dollars. Ginny gets to keep her IRA and the house, and the girls get some life insurance policies. The other option is a trial. Ron says that in fifteen years, Johnny will be sixty-seven, and can get out and enjoy his grandkids. Johnny asks whether he has to do the allocution, and Ron says that's kind of the whole point of allowing a deal. Johnny looks completely beaten down, but says that he'll take it. Ron starts to leave, but Johnny wants to first share a story how Ginny got her IRA from working in a department store, which is how they met. I guess lest you think it was yet more money Johnny tried to hide from the Feds.
Vito is driving back towards New Jersey.
Tony can't find what he wants for breakfast in the refrigerator. Meadow bitches that she was "looking forward to fresh blueberries this morning," but Carmela dropped the ball. First of all, why are you even there, Meadow? Second, buy your own goddamned blueberries. Tony asks why Meadow's there, which is a good question. Meadow, still in bitch mode, says that Finn wanted to see a movie, and she didn't, so she told him to go alone, and he did. Oh, my God! Call off the wedding! He did what she told him to do. Tony tells Meadow not to be pissy with him, since he didn't do anything. Meadow starts crying and says that she doesn't know what's going on, and Finn doesn't seem to want to hang around her. Tony rubs her back, and says that she should talk to Carmela about this stuff. Meadow keeps going on how terrible things are with their relationship, but Tony clearly wishes he could just eat his breakfast. Meadow says that Finn doesn't even have sex with her anymore. Tony tries to give her advice about "living in sin," and Meadow gets all offended and stomps off. Tony yells at her to talk to Carmela instead of him.
Tony, still in a bad mood, asks Silvio whether he talked to the building inspector yet. Silvio hasn't, and Tony tells him not to bother.
Vito is still driving through the countryside, taking swigs from his vodka bottle, which is a great way to avoid the cops. He comes around a corner and slams into a car parked on the side of the road, where some guy had stopped to get his mail. Vito tries to back out and take off, but the cars are hooked together. Vito gets out and Mail Guy asks whether he's okay, and wonders why Vito's airbags didn't deploy. Vito says his airbags were removed, probably to sell to Angie. Vito apologizes, and Mail Guy asks whether he's admitting fault. Vito wants to pay the guy for the damages and leave. Mail Guy wants to file a report and let insurance handle it; he suggests that they go to his house and call the cops. Vito nods, but when Mail Guy isn't looking, he grabs a gun from his car, checking around to make sure there are no witnesses. Mail Guy starts to walk up his driveway, and Vito pulls out the gun and shoots him in the back of the head, symbolically killing his life in New England, and also showing that he has no trouble slipping right back into his old patterns. With some difficulty, and much profanity, Vito manages to unhook his car and drive off.
Tony walks to his car in the Bing parking lot, where he's intercepted by Anthony the Glasses Guy; he wants a report on the sale of the New Orleans company. Tony says that "the fuckheads from Fuckland" are making things too hard. Anthony says that Ginny needs the money for her family. Tony sighs and ponders the deal, while Anthony looks confused.
We cut to Anthony telling Johnny that Tony changed the terms of the deal. Instead of a cut of the sale price, Tony wants Johnny to sell Janice the house at half price. Johnny realizes that he's not in a position to negotiate, but doesn't look forward to explaining the whole thing to Ginny.
Tony lies in bed, while Carmela natters on about tile and suchlike. She asks about the building inspector visit, and Tony says that Sil didn't have any luck there. Carmela shows that she knows the deal when she asks whether Sil offered cash, and how hard he leaned on the guy. Tony says that Sil knows his business, and advises Carmela to just sell the house. Carmela can't believe Tony's just giving up, especially because she knows that Tony has ways to get what he wants in business. Tony asks how far she wants to push it. Carmela is pissed that she gave up a year of her life in vain, and blames the building inspector. She storms into the bathroom and slams the door. Tony, clearly not getting how important this was to her, asks whether she wants to go out to dinner.
A realtor or decorator or someone walks around the Sack house with Janice, offering up suggestions. Meanwhile, Ginny sits on the couch, nearly catatonic with disappointment.
In the courtroom, Ginny and her family sit in the front row, all holding hands. The prosecutor reads out a question where Johnny has to admit that he was "employed by or associated with the New York faction of an organized crime family of La Cosa Nostra." Johnny nods and says yes.
Meanwhile, his Family members, led by Phil Leotardo, watch the report of the trial on TV and groan. Phil thinks Johnny's actions are "fucking disgusting," and another guy points out that at least Johnny didn't flip on them. Phil thinks it's worse to admit the existence of their thing, and points out that he did twenty years himself rather than admit to anything in open court. Hey, do you think Phil is sick of Johnny? And that there's dysentery in the ranks?
Tony finds Carmela staring out the window, and asks what's up. She says that she just heard on the radio that Johnny Sack pled guilty, and will be going to prison for fifteen years. She and Tony stare at each other, Carmela probably thinking how her whole spec house deal was an attempt to get something of her own in case Tony ever went to prison or died, so she wouldn't be left homeless like Ginny. Maybe I'm projecting.
Christopher sees some guys outside towing his Maserati -- the one he bought from Johnny Sack. He goes outside and starts yelling at the guys, thinking he's being towed for parking somewhere wrong. A US Marshal explains that all of Johnny's assets are being seized, and if Ginny sold the car to Christopher, it was against the court order and thus invalid. Christopher is pissed because he paid in cash, and the Marshal advises him to go buy the car back at auction. Christopher curses some more, and the Marshal reminds Christopher that he can be arrested, too, if that's what he wants.
Tony and Sil walk outside of Tony's house and discuss Johnny's trial. They are also disgusted with what Johnny did, and no longer consider him a friend. Sal the Landscaping Guy catches up with them and asks whether he can take the Sacrimonis off his route. Isn't it Janice's house now? Tony points out that just because Johnny pled guilty doesn't mean that he is guilty, which is another example of the guys bitching amongst themselves but defending Johnny to outsiders. Sal still wants to take Johnny off his route, and Tony agrees that he can do so. Sal grins.
Vito drives by Satriale's, but no one is sitting outside. He looks nervous. Wouldn’t you be?
The extended Soprano family hangs out at the Soprano house. Meadow brings Finn and Bobby Bacala beers. Kelli walks in, explaining that Christopher's at an AA meeting.
Down in the basement, Tony stacks his wine into a rack. Janice comes down and thanks Tony, and says emotionally that no one has ever done something like that for her. Tony, uncomfortable with the emotion, tells her that it's okay. Janice starts sobbing, and Tony rolls his eyes behind her back. Carmela comes down to see whether Tony has the wine yet, and finds Janice sobbing. She asks what's wrong, and Janice cries, "No one knows what goes on in my head!" That's interesting. I wonder what she meant by that. Tony says that Janice is happy about her new house. Carmela hugs Janice and leads her upstairs, while Tony continues stacking wine into the rack. So I guess Tony got what he wanted -- Carmela does the emotional heavy-lifting in the family once again.