By Pamie
We open at Livia's house. Tony is rubbing his face in frustration. Livia and Barbara are at the kitchen table. This meeting concerns where Livia is going to live now that Janice has gone back to Seattle. Barbara's husband won't allow Livia to live with them. Livia moans that Janice was right, that her children aren't grateful. Livia tells Tony that she never conspired with Junior. Barbara asks what's going on, but Tony's not telling her. Livia says she won't go back to the nursing home. Tony says she's right on that one, because they won't take her back at Green Grove. "She was abusive to the staff," he yells at Barbara. Barbara tries to figure out how she could get Livia to live there, and Tony yells at her not to do it. He says if Barbara had a mother with "one shred of gratitude" inside her, then it might be worth it. Livia cries and says, "She's taking a page from your wife's book." Tony screams that her statement is "fucking outrageous," and that Carmela has asked Livia to the house several times. He storms out of the house. Barbara says, "Nice work, Ma. Carmela's been so sweet to you."
Tony goes to his Suburban and opens the passenger seat. He grabs two airline tickets and walks back into the house. He throws them on the table and tells Livia to get on a plane to Arizona to live with Aunt Gemma. He tells her to take Aunt Quin with her, "The other fucking miserab'." "My sister Quintina won't fly," Livia cries. Tony walks out of the house, telling Livia to toss Aunt Quin on the tarmac. Livia keeps crying.
A man is using a pay phone as another man walks up and asks how much he's paying for the call. He explains the concept of calling cards to the man, and offers to sell one with a thousand hours on it for seven dollars.
Indian restaurant. Men talk to pretty girls. We follow a salmon on a plate to Tony eating dinner with Pussy and another guy who I can't figure out but Sars will probably know right here. ["Sundeep Kumar? I think?" -- Sars] The guy hands Tony a package of money, and the three of them toast "to business." Pussy keeps laughing, and Tony keeps watching him out of the corner of his eye as he smokes his cigar.
Vesuvio. Tony picks up Adriana and spins her until he joins Furio and Silvio at their table. He hands Silvio his envelope of cash. Silvio is pleased with the amount, and Tony brags that it's just the first week. Pussy and Tony sit at the table. Tony asks if Patsy's been in. Silvio says he's looking for Tony. Pussy is happy to see the fried zucchini flowers. He takes one off Silvio's plate and eats it. "Hey, help yourself, you fat fuck," Silvio says to him. Tony asks Pussy if they're good. Pussy nods, so Tony grabs Silvio's fork and eats another one. Silvio asks Adriana if she needs to eat off of his plate as well. She smiles, and sets their table. Tony orders another plate of zucchini flowers, and Pussy orders the mussels soup. Adriana leaves. "Telecommunications once again fails to disappoint," Silvio says. Furio asks what they're talking about. Pussy explains the concept of telephone calling cards. He explains that they order a block of the calling cards on credit and become a fake calling card company, and sell them on the street to immigrants who call home often. The carrier gets stiffed and cuts off the cards when they don't pay for the bulk time, but the cards have already been sold, so they've made all of their money. Tony watches Pussy carefully explain the entire operation. Tony knows something is up. Pussy can't seem to keep his mouth shut these days. Furio laughs and says it's "fucking beautiful." Tony changes his mood by calling Artie "Prince Rogaine." Artie brings the food to the table. He tells Tony he got the last zucchini flower. Tony tells Artie to put the zucchini flowers on the menu for Meadow's graduation party. Everyone stops to congratulate Tony on Meadow's success. They tell him that he's lucky and that he's a good father. They toast. Tony says that things are good. "Richie Aprile's in the Bermuda Triangle. All my enemies are smoked." Pussy laughs. Patsy walks in carrying a garment bag. Tony yells at him to take it out to the car and he'll meet him out there. Patsy acts like the bag is no big deal, and Tony yells again for Patsy to wait outside. Patsy leaves.
Tony walks into the house carrying the garment bag. He walks over to the table, where Carmela is working on the gift list for Meadow. She asks what's in the bag. Tony says it's a suit he got on discount. He jokes that nobody looks fat in a suit. He starts complaining about how much he hates it when air gets trapped inside the garment bags. Carm isn't listening, and asks him to give her some space where she's working. Tony keeps going on about the air in the garment bags until Carmela asks, "What? What do you want?" She keeps ignoring him and Tony says the only way to fix it is to unzip it a bit and let the air out. He unzips the bag and says, "Holy shit. My suit's grown a fucking beard." Carm asks Tony to let her work. Tony keeps talking about how they fucked up his suit and then he says it's alive. He screams and pretends he's getting attacked by a fur coat. Carmela stands up and asks, "Tony, what did you do?" "We're having a good week," he tells her. She goes to take the coat, but Tony shakes his head and pulls it back from her.
Cut to Tony sitting on their bed. Carmela enters, wearing only the fur coat. He says she looks beautiful. She walks over to him, crawls into his lap, and they make love.
Tony's in Atlantic City, walking on the boardwalk. It's snowing. The boardwalk is empty. He walks up to Christopher, Silvio, Pussy, Hesh, and Patsy. Tony remarks on the snow, saying that it's June and Meadow's graduating tomorrow. "Spring snow," Hesh tells him. It won't last, they tell him. Tony stares at Pussy, who's not looking at him. Tony asks if "they're here yet." They're not. Paulie apologizes. Patsy asks when they made the diagnosis. A month ago, Tony says. Patsy says Tony has his sympathy. Hesh says that they've given Tony until September 5th to live. Christopher interrupts here to say that instead of waiting that long, Tony's going to set himself on fire. "Yeah," Tony says. Paulie says that Tony's got balls of steel. "Very considerate," Hesh agrees. Silvio says not many guys would do that, saving you all those visits to the hospital watching him die. Tony nods and thanks Patsy for the coat. "I'm Philly," he says, and turns his head. There's a bullet hole there, and caked blood running down the side of his head. Tony apologizes and says he thought Philly was his brother. He says he just got a sable off of Patsy for Carmela. Philly doesn't give a fuck. Tony apologizes for shooting Philly in the head. Pussy's still not looking at Tony. "Fuck this," Tony says. "They're never coming." He walks to a spot just off from the group and pours a can of gasoline over his head. He spits and coughs. You can see his breath in the air. "Where's Pus?" Tony asks. Everyone just stares at him instead of answering. Tony takes the lit Zippo and holds it in his hands. Christopher walks up and asks Tony what if the doctors are wrong. Before Tony can second-guess his choice, he explodes in a fireball.
Tony wakes up in bed. He wakes up Carmela. He says he might as well just kill himself. He says he's depressed. He apologizes and tells her to go back to bed. Carmela wakes up and asks him what's going on. "It's all a big nothing," he cries. "What is?" Carm asks. "Life." Carmela says that's his mother talking. Tony says that everything is black. Carm says that Tony has a tendency to become depressed. She tells him that everything is going to be okay. Tony keeps panting and then sits up. He says that the pain is coming from his stomach and not his head. "It's my stomach," he says. He gets out of bed, saying that he's nauseous, and starts running for the bathroom. He lifts the toilet seat and pukes. Carmela gets out of bed and hears Tony moan that it was the chicken vindaloo. Carm walks out of the bedroom and runs into Meadow. "Your father's sick," she tells Meadow. Meadow asks what happened. Carm says that Tony ate at an Indian restaurant. "That is so racist!" Meadow screams. A.J. walks up and asks who's letting off those big ones. Carm says that there had better be Coke left in the fridge as Tony farts off-camera.
Pussy sits in Lispy Skip's car. He hands Skip a tiny cassette tape. Skip asks if Sundeep was there. Pussy says he was. Ah, that is the third guy. Huzzah! Pussy hands over his big envelope and says his entire cut is in there. Skip hands Pussy about three bills from the giant wad. Pussy's pissed off, and Skip says he knows that Tony is his best friend. Pussy says that President Franklin is his best friend, and he's all in that envelope and not in his pocket anymore. Skip says that lots of guys do well for themselves after they serve time, and that one guy in particular has a great job for the state of Florida. Pussy leaves the car very unhappy.
Carmela helps Tony back to the bed. He says he's doing better. She makes him sip a Coke in small sips. Tony says his chicken was probably cocker spaniel. Carm tells Tony to lay back as she covers him in blankets. Tony goes on with more racial slurs and gulps his Coke. He rolls over and mumbles. Carm asks what he said. He asks if she still likes her coat. "I love my coat," she says. Tony's asleep again.
Pan down from the sky to the boardwalk. Tony's at the same bench, but nobody's there this time. He walks and sees Junior staring at him from a broken window.
We see Tony asleep, making noises.
Tony walks down the boardwalk, but his steps aren't really getting him anywhere. We hear Junior's voice, booming like the voice of God. He asks Tony where he's going. Tony says he doesn't know. "What are you looking for?" Jun asks. Tony says someone's looking for him. He doesn't know who. Tony stops when he sees Silvio, who does a Pacino impersonation as he says, "Our true enemy has yet to reveal himself." Right? Or was it DeNiro? I'm bad at Godfather trivia, and I'm guessing that's what that was because Tony starts giggling. He keeps walking. The dream follows us to one of those vending-machine binocular things. Tony puts in his quarter and looks into the machine. He sees two men at a table inside a station. The station noises are still playing, but there aren't any people bustling around. Tony stops and looks at the ocean, what he should see through the viewfinder, and then goes back to look again. He sees two men smoking and playing cards. It's Tony and Paulie. Paulie wins a hand of cards, and Tony takes out his gun and shoots him. The binoculars run out of time and black out.
Pan over to Tony in bed. Off-screen, we hear Carmela ask if Tony's up yet. He sits up in bed. Carm asks how he's feeling.
Tony's sitting in Melfi's office. He says he had fucked-up fever dreams last night. He says he shot a friend of his. He says that in real life, this guy does some shit that annoys him, like sending out Christmas-time reports of how well his nieces and nephews are doing, and how he has a habit of humming commercial jingles, but he's a friend and doesn't really do anything wrong. He's "a terrific earner." Melfi just stares at Tony. She says he was filled with anger. Tony says she knows everything about him. Melfi says they've never dealt with his anger before, and look at the costs. Melfi turns into the chick from Italy, but she's still got Melfi's voice as she says, "You are the biggest threat to yourself." Tony says he thought that's what being a human being is. She says that some people are more self-destructive than others. "You gonna make me eat something now?" Tony asks her. Italian Chick Melfi says, "Maybe. If you keep this up." Tony shakes his head no.
Tony wakes up and makes a farty run to the bathroom. He pukes again and says he's dying. Carmela covers him with a blanket. Tony says he doesn't want her to see him like this. "Please," Carm moans. Tony says he's freezing, and Carm notes that his teeth are chattering. She rubs his back and asks if he wants help getting to the bed. Tony says he might as well just stay there. Carm says he's got food poisoning. Tony moans about his dreams and starts a string of curses.
Back to dreamland. Adriana's waiting at the wheel of a car as Tony sits on the passenger side. Pan to the backseat, where Christopher sits. Tony asks where Pussy is. A roll of toilet paper is handed up to Tony from the backseat. Pan back to Furio, who is now sitting to Christopher, handing Tony the toilet paper. Adriana starts the car, and the camera pulls back to reveal the four of them taking off in a tiny red Volkswagen bug.
Tony's in bed. The closed captioning says "(farting)." If only it was really that discreet. Tony opens his eyes.
Carmela opens the front door. It's Artie, wanting to finalize the menus for Meadow's graduation party. Carm has forgotten about this, and mentions that they were up with Tony being so sick. Artie says the food poisoning couldn't have been from his place, because he got an A rating. Tony hears that Artie's there, and booms for Carm to send Artie up. Carm tells Tony to shut up, that he's speaking nonsense. Tony tells Carm to send him up again, and Artie goes upstairs.
Tony walks to his bed wearing a robe as Artie walks in. Artie says that Tony picked up a bad one somewhere. Tony starts yelling at Artie for poisoning him with tainted shellfish. He says Artie should do something before he causes "a fucking outbreak." Heh. Artie says he handpicks every mussel that went into that soup. Carmela is shocked that Tony ate mussels on top of Indian food. Artie immediately says it had to have been the Indian food that's causing the food poisoning. Tony says it was the mussels, because they came up undigested. Artie says that if the mussels were undigested, they couldn't have caused the food poisoning. Tony says that it was his body shutting down from the poisonous mussels in defense. Artie says that the Indians prepare their food with ghee, which is clarified butter. He says a rancid hit of that would destroy him. He says that when they cremated Indira Gandhi, they covered the body and the funeral pyre in clarified butter to get the fire started. This is too much for Tony, who shoots out of bed and heads straight to the bathroom to puke and fart again. Artie asks if they called Pussy yet, since he had the mussels too. "Jesus, Artie, 'call Pussy,'" Carm says. "Some concern, maybe?" Artie says he's very concerned.
Angie tells Pussy that Artie's on the phone. Pussy gets on the line. Artie asks if Pussy's feeling okay. Tony's head is to Carmela's lap as Artie tells Pussy that there's nothing to worry about, but he wants to know if Pussy had any symptoms. Pussy admits that he had a slight touch of diarrhea, and there's too much shit talking to make me feel good. I'll never eat again. They keep talking about Indian food and shit until Tony asks them to stop talking about it. I agree. Artie gets off the phone and says he feels vindicated. Tony says he can't get off the boardwalk. Carmela says she's going to call Doctor Cusamano. Tony bolts up to puke again, so Carm and Artie carry Tony over to the bathroom.
At the airport, Livia and her sister are complaining that they can't understand anything the airline people are saying over the intercom. Two airport security people walk over to Livia and call her by name. Close-up on Livia looking shocked and scared.
Tony falls asleep sitting up. "Oh, Pussy," he says.
Melfi opens her office door. Tony is sitting on the couch, wearing brown pants and a wife-beater shirt. "Come on in," she says. Tony stands up, boasting a raging erection.
"Who's your friend?" Melfi asks Tony after they've taken their seats inside her office. Tony thinks for a second. "Pussy?" Melfi asks. "I'm confused," Tony admits. "Isn't Pussy your friend?" Melfi asks. Tony says that Pussy is indeed his friend. Melfi says that Pussy was the same friend that was almost carried off by the ducks. Tony says that the worst part of this is that he knows he's dreaming right now. He asks if when she says "pussy," does she mean his friend Pussy, or pussy pussy. "Whatever seems to be dominating your thoughts," Melfi responds. Tony says he usually has pussy on the brain. Probably the lowercase variety of pussy, I'm assuming. There are strange noises playing in the background as Tony tells Melfi that he's always wanted to fuck her. She says she finds him immensely attractive and that he goes out of his way to repulse her. Tony says that she likes that, and she's the one that's fucked up. "Anthony, Anthony, Anthony," Melfi says with a smile. "What are we gonna do with you?"
Tony slams Melfi on her desk. They rip at each other's clothes. The sound plays a different lovemaking scene, with them making noises that we're not seeing. They fuck on the desk.
Cut to Tony's face spinning. He's sweating and trembling. Doctor Cusamano asks off-camera if he's smiling. Carm says he's gritting his teeth. They wake Tony up. Tony tells the doctor that he's dying. The doctor says that Tony's just got a little E. coli, and that he'll live. He tells Carm to give Tony ice chips to suck to keep him hydrated. He says that it probably wasn't the Indian food that did it to him. Carmela says that Meadow's graduation is tomorrow. Tony closes his eyes and smiles. He sings the theme song to Gilligan's Island as Carm and the doctor leave.
"Hey, Ton," we hear Pussy's voice say. Tony stops walking and looks at a row of fish in a fish market. The middle one speaks with Pussy's voice. So brilliant, this scene. "How's it going?" Pussyfish asks Tony. Tony: "You didn't get sick?" Pussyfish: "Nah." Tony: "How much you weigh?" Pussyfish: "Eight pounds." Tony says that Pussyfish has lost a lot of weight. Pussyfish says that he's been swimming. It works every muscle group in your body. Tony tells Pussyfish to get the fuck out of here, that he's never worked a muscle in his life. "Anyway," Pussyfish says, "four dollars a pound." Tony stares for a while until Pussyfish says, "You know I've been working with the government, right, Ton?" Tony tells him not to say that. Pussyfish tells him to face the facts. He says that Tony passed him over for promotion. He knew. Tony asks how much he gave the Feds. "A lot," Pussyfish admits. "Fuck of a way for it all to end, huh?" Tony asks. "Yeah," Pussyfish says. "Yeah," Tony agrees. "These guys, on either side of me?" Pussyfish asks, motioning with his head the two fish surrounding him. "They're asleep." It's so brilliant that the only way to end the scene is to have Tony lift the table of fish and knock it over, which is exactly what he does.
"I don't want to see you flopping around down there!" Tony calls to nobody from the floor of his bathroom. He wakes up. He thinks.
Carm catches Tony getting dressed. She says no way and tells him to get back into bed. Tony says he's feeling a bit better and has to get up. Carm says he's out of his mind; she'd brought him a little something to try to keep down. She says he can't be sick for Meadow's graduation.
Tony and Silvio show up at Pussy's house. Ang asks how he's doing. Tony says something about his poor ass, and asks if Pussy's home. Ang says that he's still in bed, but she'll go get him. Pussy bolts up in his bed, hearing that Tony's in the house, and yells for Angie to give him a minute. Pussy runs to his bureau, where there's a box sitting. Tony opens the door before Pussy can open the box. He tells Tony he looks better than he thought he would. Pussy's nervous and making rapid small talk, asking if Tony or Silvio would like any coffee. Tony says he's got a line on a boat, and he needs Pussy's opinion on it right now; the guy's got two offers, so he has to decide this morning. Tony then says he's going to be sick, and runs into the bathroom. Silvio walks over to Pussy and says he could use some coffee now. Pussy agrees that nobody should have to listen to Tony getting sick.
It's a strange shot of Pussy's kitchen we're looking at as Silvio tells Angie that he was supposed to pick up ten bags of mulch from Home Depot before he did anything this morning. Angie nags him for sitting at her table instead of making his wife happy. Pussy wonders what's taking Tony so long upstairs.
Upstairs, we pan from the running sink water to Tony going through Pussy's drawers. He moves around clothes and searches each drawer.
Downstairs, Angie says she's looking forward to Meadow's graduation party.
Tony walks out of Pussy's closet and opens the box on the bureau. It holds cigars. Tony's body relaxes, and then tenses again. He opens the box and taps it. He moves the cigars and takes off the fake bottom. The box holds mini-cassette tapes and a tape recorder -- the wire.
Tony walks downstairs and says they need to go buy a boat. Silvio and Pussy's faces show that they both understand what's going on.
Tom Petty's "Freefalling" is playing as Tony sits down at his dinner table. He tells Meadow, A.J., and Carmela that he bought a big boat today. Meadow brags that she decided to go to Columbia. Everyone applauds.
Tony wakes up from the backseat. Silvio is sipping on a flask. He offers a sip to Pussy. Pussy says it's a little early in the day. Silvio says it helps him get sea legs. Pussy grabs the flask and takes a sip.
Paulie's already at the boat as the other three men walk up. Pussy asks if Tony still wants to go out today, since he's "got the trots." Tony says the tide waits for no man. He says that he's been waiting for over forty minutes, and the owner had to go talk to the harbormaster but they can take the boat out for a test run. Paulie tells Pussy to get on the boat.
The boat's deep in the water when Paulie says the boat rides nice. Pussy's just watching the water. Tony invites everyone down below to check out the mahogany.
Downstairs, Pussy starts playing with the radio. The three men line up behind him. "Take a seat, Puss," Silvio says as the music starts. Pussy turns around and asks if they should test-drop the anchor to see how it holds. "Later," Paulie says. I think the song playing is "Tiny Bubbles," but I'm not sure. Pussy sits down. "Why you making me do this, you fat fucking miserable piece of shit?" Tony asks. Pussy plays dumb. Tony sits down. "When did they flip you? Tell me. Don't lie." Pussy keeps playing dumb, as the closed captioning tells me it's Frank Sinatra singing behind Puss, so I'm not sure it's "Tiny Bubbles" anymore. ["It's 'Baubles, Bangles and Beads.' Close, though." -- Sars] Pussy finally puts his head in his hands. Tony keeps staring at him. Pussy looks to Silvio and Paulie. He runs his hand through his hair and says, "They had me, Tony." He admits that he was going to get thirty to life for selling heroin. Tony asks how long he's been talking. Pussy says less than a year and a half. "Year and a half you've been running your own fucking gossip column?" Paulie asks. He pushes Pussy against the wall. Pussy asks to explain. He says he fed them bullshit. Nothing. He says he just wanted to live and keep earning. He did nothing to put anyone in harm's way. Tony asks if it was nothing to tip them off about the Bevelaqua murder. Pussy swears on his mother's eyes that he didn't do that. Paulie shuts off the radio. Pussy says he told them about the calling cards. "I'm not in that," Paulie says, relieved. He gets angry again and asks, "But what else?" Pussy says nothing else "recently." Tony asks what else. Silvio leaves to find out what's banging against the boat. Pussy says he's being careful and he's fucking the Feds. "Webistics?" Tony asks. Pussy admits to it. He says he mostly spilled on David's bust-out, nothing that they can trace to Tony without serial numbers. Tony stands up and goes back on deck. Pussy and Paulie stare at each other in silence.
Tony asks Silvio what's the matter. Silvio says it's the swell. Tony barks that he's got food poisoning and he's not complaining. Silvio shouts, "Don't yell at me." Tony yells back, "I'll fucking yell at you! You don't like it?" Silvio and Tony sadly look at each other, and Tony goes back downstairs into the boat.
Pussy asks if they've got any good tequila. Tony sort of smiles and nods to Paulie. Paulie pulls out three shot glasses and pours. They each grab a glass and clink. They shoot, but Tony sips, thinks about it, and then gulps the shot. Pussy says he met an acupuncturist in Puerto Rico who was twenty-six and had an ass like the second coming. Never wore panties. He says she used to brush her teeth with tequila. She used to drink him under the table every night, and then he'd eat her out while he was down there. Pussy sticks out his tongue and makes a noise. The other guys laugh. Tony asks, "Hey, Puss. Does she even really exist?" The mood gets somber. "Fucked up," Silvio says. Pussy walks towards the wall. He turns back around and asks them to not shoot him in the face. "Keep my eyes?" he asks. "You were like a brother to me," Paulie says. "To all of us," Tony agrees. Pussy points to his head and says, "Starting to feel it now, too. My inner ear balance is off." The men pull out their guns. Pussy starts crying. "Jesus Christ," he says. Pussy's legs go weak, and he says he has to sit down. He asks Tony if it's okay that he sits down, and Tony starts shooting. All three men shoot Pussy. Pussy falls, knocking the chair over with him. We see the outside of the boat and hear the shots. Tony stares at Pussy and says, "Get the weights." Paulie takes all of Pussy's jewelry off. Pussy lies there, dead.
The three men take on the not-small task of chaining up Pussy in a black bag and dumping him off the edge of the boat. It takes quite some time. The men all sit back and watch as the last of Pussy's body sinks under the water. Tony blinks and gasps. Paulie looks back. The three men walk away from the edge of the boat and start up the motor. They sail off. Tony gasps and mourns. The water rushes behind him.
Tony's watching television as Carmela arranges flowers. She reminds Tony to go to Comp World tomorrow to pick up Meadow's gift. Tony snaps that the one he could have gotten would have had a smaller screen but would have been free. Carm tells him not to snap at her and test his luck with the diarrhea. He says he can't shake it. "Well, whose fault is that?" she asks as the phone rings.
It's Livia. "Put Anthony on," she says. "Don't call here," Carmela tells her. Livia says that she's in Newark Airport and they've been held there all day. Carmela tells Tony that his mother is still at the airport. Livia says she needs a lawyer. She's at airport security; Anthony gave her a stolen ticket and they're going to call the FBI. Carmela hands the phone to Tony and says he has to talk to her. "The fun never stops," she says as she walks off. Tony gets on the phone and Livia whispers, "Anthony, the tickets are stolen." Tony's doorbell rings as Livia asks if he did it. Tony says he'll send someone down to pick her up, but he doesn't know what she's talking about. The doorbell rings again as Tony hangs up and says, "Jesus Christ. How fucking hard is it to get on an airplane?"
Carmela answers the door. It's the Feds. "Agent Harris," Tony smiles as he walks up. They have a warrant to search the house, property, and vehicle for stolen airline tickets. Tony asks to see the warrant. They show Tony the tickets that they picked up from the Suburban. They start reading Tony his rights and searching the house.
Tony is getting cuffed as Carmela explains that Meadow is about to graduate, and asks if they can wait a few days to "persecute" Tony. They lead Tony to the front door, where Meadow walks in with her friends. Tony says it's okay and he'll be home in a couple of hours. "I'm graduating tomorrow!" Meadow wails as she runs up the stairs. The Feds lead Tony out the front door, and Meadow's friends decide it's best to get out of the house. Carmela stands and thinks.
Tony's getting fingerprinted, and he asks if they need another picture of him for their wallets. Tony falls against the table as the chief comments, "Tony Soprano. Weak in the knees. Can't take the heat?" Tony explains that he's got food poisoning, and what they're doing doesn't scare him one bit. "You think this bothers me, you fuckhead?" They lead him to his jail cell. Tony tosses the napkin he wiped the ink off with into some Fed's lap. Even the guy getting pelted with napkin has to break a grin. Tony turns and tells Frank not to expect any deli trays anytime soon. Tony sits in his cell.
Oh, Lord. Meadow's got the sad music playing, and she's got her face shoved into a stick of burning incense as she pouts in her bed. Carmela walks in and asks Meadow if she's sleeping. "Yes," Meadow responds. Carm says she wants to talk to her. "I am so not going to miss this," Meadow brats as she sits up. Carmela sits down and tells Meadow that Tony means well. He's given his life for his family. She says she knows that it must have been embarrassing for Meadow, and if Meadow wants to talk, she's here. "This is who Dad is," Meadow interrupts. "My friends don't judge me. And fuck them if they do. I'll cut them off." Daddy's little girl.
Tony tells Mink that he knew he was giving Livia a bad ticket, but her voice drove him to do it. Mink says that the Feds don't have enough. Tony says he knows it's a small thing, but that's the point. If he could have stood his mother's shit for one more minute, he wouldn't be there. He beat a homicide and now he's blown an easy one. Now there are Federal charges and the FAA. He says they're going to pin that Egypt Air thing on him soon. Predicates and the RICO act and everything. Mink says that Tony will make bail and then he can get on with life.
Tony makes bail. The press asks questions, but Tony just gets into his car.
Melfi's office. Silence. Tony finally says that his fucking idiot of a mother acts like she was never married to Johnny Soprano. Melfi asks Tony what else is bothering him. Tony asks if that's not enough. "Fucking demented old bat." Melfi says that she knows it's serious, but a year ago Livia tried to have him killed and that didn't bother him. "If she tried to have you killed a year ago, believe me, in your childhood she's inflicted serious psychic injuries that are still there." Tony's face breaks into a pout. He fakes tears, boo-hoos and says, "Poor me." Melfi just stares as Tony laughs at his joke. He plops his feet on the table. Melfi asks why Tony's father, the tough-guy gangster, never protected his children from that monster of a mother. Melfi says she hasn't pushed him enough to confront these things, and that somewhere along the line she became frightened of him. Tony says, "Maybe, baby." Then he starts singing. Melfi interrupts and says that rage is a flaming self-distraction from actual feelings he hasn't dealt with. He asks what feelings she's talking about. "Sadness," she says. She says he goes off on a racist rant about Indian food, his demented old bat of a mother. "What else has happened?" she asks. "Nothing," Tony mumbles. Melfi says she's learned things after treating him for two years, and she picks up sorrow from him now. Tony takes a few seconds and then says, "I had a dream I fucked your brains out. Right on that desk." Melfi says that Tony threw that at her "like a rock." She asks him to stay with the sadness. "Mommy tried to kill you and you gave her airline tickets." "Fuck you," Tony says. Melfi says that Tony's really in trouble now. Tony says he'll beat this shit. He stands up and sings some more. "Maybe, baby, I'll have you." Melfi stares at nothing.
Meadow's graduation. A.J., Carmela, and Tony cheer as Meadow gets her diploma. Maryangela is her middle name, for you trivia freaks out there. She leaves, and they call Jonathan Tiffen. Soprano to Tiffen? Bullshit. Not at any high school I know. ["It's a private school; fewer students." -- Sars] Meadow blows a kiss to her parents, who hold each other with pride.
After the ceremony, Tony walks with Christopher. He says it's graduation day, so he feels that he should tell Christopher that he's proposing Chris to get his button. Chris says he deserves it. "I ain't got no spleen, Gene," he smiles. They hug. Christopher sees Junior talking to Meadow. Tony walks over and pulls Junior away from Meadow. "Carmela sees you she's gonna cut you a new asshole," he says. "I'm leaving," Junior says. Meadow pouts, but holds her gift. Junior's gone. Tony sees David trying to get some coffee, but it's empty. Just his luck, right? Tony walks over and says it's great to see the kids graduate. "Ah, youth," David says. "It's what's important." Okay, crazy broke guy. Whatever you say. David says that Eric got accepted to Georgetown, but there are some money problems. Tony says he heard that David and Charlene split up. "Christine," David corrects him. He says he's getting the fuck out of there. "I got a job on a ranch out west." Tony laughs into his sleeve, but David's not kidding. He grew up in New Mexico. Plus the ranch is in Nevada, which is close to Vegas, which is where David will soon be sucking dick for cash. He invites Tony to come play in Vegas with him. Tony leaves that sad piece of dad behind and goes to hug Meadow. He kisses her forehead and says he's proud of her.
Meadow's party. Cake is served. Angie is complaining to someone, saying that Pussy knew the party was today and that she called him over and over. She bitches that he's so selfish. Cue the classic rock. A.J. films Adriana. Silvio hugs Meadow and gives her an envelope. Another envelope from Paulie. They hug. People take pictures of the Soprano family.
The Barone Sanitation trucks are at work. A man enters a peep show.
People take pictures of Tony, A.J., Meadow, and Carmela.
The house where they sold shares of Webistics is quiet, dark, and empty.
Someone takes a picture of all the goodfellas.
A man sells calling cards on the street.
Hesh, Furio, and Christopher are laughing and joking as their pictures are taken.
A smack addict is passing out in the lobby of the whorehouse hotel. The Jewish desk clerk wakes him up and takes his cigarette.
Tony poses for pictures with Paulie and Silvio.
David finishes packing his car to leave for Nevada.
Pan up from a table of money. Poker.
Carmela spots Tony lighting a cigar. He smokes in slow motion. He exhales.
We see the coastline. The waves roll in over the place that is now Pussy's watery grave. End of season two.