We open with Tony visiting Uncle Junior in jail. Junior sits down, and nobody says anything for a few minutes. Uncle Jun and Tony pick up their phones, and Tony bitches through the glass that it took Jun three weeks to put him on his visitors list. Junior tells Tony to be careful. He says that they listen to everything. Tony says theres nothing wrong with a nephew visiting his uncle. Junior says he has nothing to say to Tony. So many tragedies and near tragedies to those close to you. Junior says that things could have gone the other way. Yeah, but they didnt, Tony says with a snort. Junior tells Tony that his mother had nothing to do with this. Shes dead to me, Tony breathes. Junior says that Livia is a good woman. Tony is furious and says that she made an asshole out of Junior and thats whats killing him. Its killing him to know that people are talking about him. Junior says that the rumors arent half as bad as the ones floating around the prison about Tony. That Tony Soprano likes to fluff up his mothers pillow so she can get a nice, long sleep. Junior tells Tony to make peace with Livia. He says itll be good for all of them. Tony says, No fucking way, and tells Junior to send Bacala out tomorrow so he can talk to him. Junior wants to know why, but Tony hangs up the phone on him.
At a construction site, a protest has gathered. A black man shouts on his megaphone that the unions arent hiring enough black workers for these construction jobs. He says there are sixty-five joint-fitters on that construction site, and not one of them is black. He says his father put his life on the line for his country. Someone helps his father up to the megaphone. He says that his father fought in WWII, and when he came home, he had to fight another war at home. His father gets on the megaphone and said they spilled their blood in Korea, Vietnam, and Iraq, but they never get work once they get home. The white joint-fitters look on quietly as the protestors begin to chant, No more! The old man asks if Masserone Construction Company can hear them. They shout that they want jobs. The white men walk away as the crowd continues to cheer.
Meadow passes Tony in the driveway. Janice walks out and shouts that shes about to go visit she whose name must not be uttered, and wanted to know if Meadow wanted to come along. Tony listens but doesnt say anything. Meadow says she cant visit her grandmother right now because she has to study her French. Meadow walks off, and Tony yells to Janice that he needs to talk to her. What the fuck you doing with that real estate sign? he asks her. He shouts that she has to go and put the sign back up because hes selling the house. End of discussion! Janice laughs and calls Tony left brain. She says that the house is still for sale even if the sign isnt up. Janice explains that her friend Cathy is in real estate and would like to be in charge of selling the house. She wont take as big of a cut, and they could make more money off of the sale if they do it. Janice says that their mother could probably use an extra couple thousand dollars. Tony ends the conversation with a fuck her, and then tells Janice that she has to park the car in the street from now on. He says that his house isnt her hotel.
A nurse checks up on Livia. Livia asks for some strawberry ice cream. She says they cant expect her to eat the tapioca. As the nurse leaves, she runs into Janice. She cracks me up, she tells Janice. Janice walks in. I cant believe it. Its my daughter from California. Janice reminds Livia that she lives in Seattle, and Livia asks Janice if shed like some tapioca. Beautiful. I love this show. Theres nothing to comment on and Im already ten minutes in. Each scene is just too good to comment on, really. Janice kisses Livias cheek, and Livia complains that Janice reeks of cigarettes. Janice comments that Livias all dressed and out of bed, sitting in a chair. Livia shows Janice her hand. Its bruised from the IVs. Janice tells her thats how they make her better. You dont care, Livia says quietly. You werent here five minutes. Janice explains that she had to go into the city for a few days. Shes working on a self-help video. Livia isnt listening and instantly starts in, telling Janice that she could never stand it here. Shes got one arm out and her game face on, ready for the fight. Janice asks to not fight. Livia starts shouting that nobody knew what she went through in her marriage. She starts crying and says that itd kill him if he saw her now. The nurse comes back in with the ice cream, and Livia is crying. She asks to be left alone. She asks them to open the window and push her out. Janice isnt buying into any of this, and Mas so good at playing the martyr that it looks like shes got some ungrateful children and that shes the saddest mother in the world. The nurse asks what happened, and Janice says she just started crying. Livia yells that she knows Janice is only there to take her house. She says she hopes Janice has children of her own someday and they treat her just like this. If I had a nickel for every time Ive heard my mother use that expression, I wouldnt have to have credit cards. Ma keeps crying, saying that she gave her children everything. This is bullshit, Janice says, and takes off. Ma keeps on crying as the nurse comforts her.
Tony meets some guy in a parking lot. Tony is wearing a white striped short-sleeve sweater. Its quite ugly. He asks the guy to walk and talk with him. The guy complains about the activists, so I assume hes with Masserone Construction. He says the activists have been there for three days now, and theyre starting to affect production. Tony asks who the leader is, and the guy tells him its this reverend. Tony reminds him that the joint-fitters union is under Uncle Juniors jurisdiction. The guy says he knows, but he was hoping that Tony could pave the way for him to talk to Uncle Junior and that maybe he could send some guys down in the meantime. Tony says itll cost him. They haggle figures. Tony says hell see what he can do. In the meantime, call Animal Control, he says.
Satriales Pork House. Pussy walks into a room with Bacala following. Its amazing how similar their bellies are. Tonys surrounded by his men, sitting with his feet up, wearing a Cheshire grin. The room is some kind of meat freezer. The last man standing, Tony calls Bacala. He keeps giving him a hard time until Bacala just looks down to keep from saying anything or showing any emotion. Tony tells him to look at him and not the floor. He tells him to talk to that bald cocksucker that calls himself [Tonys] fathers brother. Tony says that hes going to tell Bacala everything he needs to tell Junior, and that he needs to keep it between that room and Juniors ears or Bacala will find himself inside eight different dumpsters. Bacala says that he inherited Junior, and he doesnt think that Tony needs to talk to him this way. I always liked you, he says. Tony says thats bullshit, but hell assume he likes him now. Tony says that Junior gets five percent now. Thats his share. The joint-fitters union is all his now as well. He says that Junior gets to keep his stripes. He says the Feds think that most of the family is in jail right now, and if they hear differently itll cause confusion. He says the rest of what Junior owns is now Tonys. Bacala says hell tell Junior everything. Thats it, Tony concludes. Bacala turns to leave but then stops. He turns around and says, To the victor belongs the spoils. Not missing a beat, Tony answers, Why dont you get the fuck out of here before I shove your quotations book up your fat fucking ass? Tony and Bacala are my two favorite characters on this show as it is, and thats my favorite exchange between the two of them. Bacala leaves.
Pussys back surgery is finished, and Lispy Skip is there to pick him up. Pussys pretty drugged up here, and hes mumbling and echoing everyone as the doctor tells Skip that the injection went fine and he should start to feel better in a couple of days.
In the car, Pussy tells Skip that his back doesnt feel any different. Skip reminds him that it should take a couple of days for the steroids to kick in. Pussy wants his Jacuzzi. Skip says theres too much stress in Pussys life. He asks if Tony knows hes back yet. Pussy shouts that Tony doesnt and that he just got back. Skip lisps around that hes seen guys play both sides against the middle before, and he was just checking with Pussy to see if hes legit. Yeah, usually when you ask a mob guy whos a rat for the Feds a question, the first thing out of his mouth is almost always the truth. Pussy shouts that he has to be careful. Skip says that any information about Pussy being an informant went to the grave with Jimmy Altieri. Pussy reminds Skip that hes known Tony for thirty years. Skip says they want results. He reminds Pussy that Tony tried to kill his own mother. Pussy says that Tony is a disgrace. Skip says that Tonys uncle wanted him whacked and that hes talking to a shrink and that Pussy shouldnt take a bullet for this yuppie.
“ Rev. Sr. talks about the war and the people he fought with. They discuss the History Channel, the Bible, and freedom. If this were a first date, itd be pretty much over right here. Tony gets up and says hell catch up with the Rev. Jr. another time. He leaves. See? Bad date. ”
Lawyers are discussing Juniors case with the judge. Juns lawyer says that hes innocent until proven guilty and too sick to be kept in jail while they await trial. The prosecution thinks that Junior is a flight risk. Theyve got Junior sitting with a tank of oxygen to make him look even more pitiful. Juns lawyer says that Junior hasnt broken the law since sometime in the sixties, and that he pays his taxes every year and should be allowed out while he awaits trial. The judge explains that hed put Junior under house arrest. He says that Junior would have to stay home, except for doctors appointments and shopping. The prosecution asks for a Lo-Jack. The judge asks Junior what he thinks of that. Junior says it sounds like Nazi Germany. This doesnt sit well with the judge, and he orders the electronic bracelet before Juniors lawyer can talk him out of it.
Tonys rings an apartment doorbell, but nobody answers. He walks downstairs to try the apartment underneath. The Official Black Man Character Actor Of Insightful Epiphanies Shortly Before An Unexpected Death, also known as Bill Cobbs, answers the door. Tony tells him hes looking for the mans son. He asks if hes around. The man, whom the episode guide is calling Reverend Sr., asks if Tonys a friend. Tony only repeats his question again. Rev. Sr. invites Tony into his apartment.
Tony looks at photographs as the Rev. Sr. brings in drinks. Tony says that Rev. Sr. was a good-looking guy back in those photographs. Rev. Sr. says hes still a good-looking guy. He says those pictures were taken fifty-seven years ago. So that makes you? Tony asks. Old, is Rev. Sr.s answer. He says hes eighty-three years old. He asks what Tony needs with the Reverend. Tony says they have a little business to discuss. Rev. Sr. talks about the war and the people he fought with. They discuss the History Channel, the Bible, and freedom. If this were a first date, itd be pretty much over right here. Tony gets up and says hell catch up with the Rev. Jr. another time. He leaves. See? Bad date.
In a hospital room, Tonys fucking around with some sort of organ puzzle display thing. I think its the heart, but I cant be sure. Uncle Junior comes in and tells Tony that if he breaks that thing, he has to pay for it. Tony tosses an organ aside and turns around. They stare at each other for a while. Tony says that if he knew Junior was going to be out so quickly, he wouldnt have had that discussion with that calzone with legs. Hee. Junior says that Bacala told him the message. Tony says, Well, dont fucking pout. Be grateful Im letting you earn. Junior asks whats on his mind. Tony asks how Junior swung this meeting. Junior explains that the cardiologist is the son of some guy they know. According to the house arrest rules, hes allowed to leave his house for doctors appointments, so the cardiologist is letting Junior use the office whenever he needs to conduct business. Smart. They cant bug you in the doctors office. Tony asks Junior if he heard about Masserone Construction. Junior says that Bacala is taking care of it. Tony says it has to go sixty-forty his way. Junior asks if Tony made peace with his mother. Tony says, Thats enough with that shit. He tells Junior to let it go. Junior says that Livia doesnt know what shes saying half of the time. Tony tells Junior that he heard the tapes of the two of them talking at Green Grove. He says he doesnt know which half Junior is referring to. The half that doesnt make any sense? Or the half that played you like a fucking child? Junior says that nobody played him, and that Livia didnt know she was setting Tony up to get whacked. Junior bitches that all of his capos were meeting behind his back. Tony says that he had his reasons. He says to let sleeping dogs lie. Junior says that one dog is still barking -- Freddie Capuano, the owner of Green Grove. Hes the one thats telling everyone about Soprano business. Poo! That hairpiece motherfucker, Junior spits. Tony crosses his arms and thinks.
“ Carmela asks if everyone took a vow of silence. She asks if anyone has anything to report. AJ says that he has to write a report on DNA for biology. Hee. This is back when AJs so damn cute. ”
Soprano house. Dinnertime. Everyone sits quietly around the table until Carmela asks if everyone took a vow of silence. She asks if anyone has anything to report. AJ says that he has to write a report on DNA for biology. Hee. This is back when AJs so damn cute. Carmela feigns interest and says that she just saw a news magazine show about how there will be no more unknown soldiers because of DNA testing. Tony asks for the macaroni and cheese. Janice immediately starts up about Ma. She complains that Livia is impossible. She goes on about how Mas such a narcissist. I mean, really, kudos, she says. You are a saint. Tony stuffs food in his face and says he doesnt want to talk about it. Meadow asks if theyre talking about her grandmother. Janice goes on about Livias ability to push buttons as Carmela gives Tony a warning look. Tony throws down his fork and pouts as he chews. Meadow watches her father. Janice stops talking and whispers, Excuse moi. Tony says that this is his house. Thank you, Il Duce, Meadow drones. Tony asks Meadow if she has something to say, reminding her that she might want to borrow the car sometime in the hundred years. Meadow doesnt say anything back. Janice says that she was insensitive to Tonys feelings. Tony thanks her. Carmela comments on how it wasnt that hard for the two of them to be civil to each other just then. Janice calls Tony Mr. Delegated Power Of Attorney and asks if hes given any thought to the house. She asks if her girlfriend can have the listing. Tony says he doesnt care as long as the house gets sold. Janice sips her wine quietly. AJ cuts in with, Hey! What did one prick say to the other prick? Carmela immediately starts in on Tony: You see? You see what happens with you cursing at the dinner table? Tony looks down at his food.
Green Grove. Theres an empty parking space. Close-up on the parking space. The sign reads, of course, Frederic Capuano. Director Geriatric Services.
Cut to a policeman finding an abandoned car. The door of the car is open, and the keys are still inside. The car is beeping, so the battery is still working. Theres nobody inside the car. The cop takes the keys and walks around the car. He finds a toupee behind the car tire.
Meadow and Janice are in the car. Meadow thanks Janice for taking her out. She says its hard to find people over twenty-five willing to go out with her so she can practice driving. Janice says Meadow cant tell anyone that she had her drive out to buy some pot. Janice says that pot should be legal; it's the only thing that helps with her hands. She comments that Meadow just ran a stop sign. Meadow isnt listening and takes this moment to bitch about her father. She says she hates the way he talks to her. Janice says hes insecure: Hes afraid to leave New Jersey and hes threatened by anyone whos broken free. Meadow says hes pathetic. Janice asks about Livia in the retirement center. Meadow says she wants to go and visit her, but shes been so busy with homework and all of the community service stuff shes doing for her college apps. Janice asks what Livia is into. Negativity? Meadow cracks. She tells Janice that Tony used to bring her records by these old sisters. Janice remembers that its the DeCastro sisters that Livia likes. The Andrews Sisters would have been too easy, she drones. Meadow says that Tony used to bring her that Mario Lasagna guy. Janice says she hated that shit. Meadow laughs. Janice schemes.
Junior sits with Bacala in a doctors waiting room. He asks Bacala if he saw him on television. Bacala asks what show. The evening news, Junior says. He asks how he looked. Bacala says he looked like [him]. Junior says he didnt like the way he looked. He says hes thinking about getting new frames. He asks another patient how much he paid for his frames. The guy tells him that his insurance pays for the frames, so he never saw the bill. Nice country, Junior says. I got cataracts, the guy moans to Junior. Junior says that his father told him to never get old. I should have listened. The other guy nods. Another patient sits there quietly. Junior punches Bacalas arm to tell him a joke about a Chinese man going to get his eyes checked. When the doctor tells him he has cataracts, he tells him, No, I have a Rincoln Continental. Bacala doesnt get the joke. I love these little scenes here where you see the characters outside of the mob world, just bitching about health insurance, shooting the shit, telling each other little things that they read or were thinking about. Its what makes them more human to us, and you just dont see that on any other television. This little scene here hardly advances any plot, but it makes us root for Junior just a bit more, and then reminds us who he is with his racist joke.
The construction guy comes in all obvious and sits down to Bacala with a total guilt look so that even the blind guy in the corner knows whats going on. The guilty construction guy asks for the restroom as Bacala puts away his magazine.
Livia wakes up to Janice arranging flowers in the window. Shes playing Pavarotti. Janice starts reminiscing about the times they listened to tenors together. They hold hands and listen to the music. Janice brings her cheek to Livias hand. They sit quietly.
Driving home, Janice sings to Paul Simon and lights a joint.
Tony stands in a secluded area near some train tracks. Bacala takes some time getting out of his car, prompting Tony to tell Bacala to start seriously considering salads. Bacala hands Tony money and asks when. Tony says tomorrow morning. He says theyre short a couple of guys, so he should make sure hes there. Consider it exercise, he tells Bacala as he drives off. Bacala takes offense to the words fat fuck once Tony has driven away.
“ Tony just puffs his cigar until Janice tells him to fuck himself. She lights a cigarette, and these two are making me want a cigarette so bad Im thinking about lighting up my cats paw. ”
Carmela puts down a bowl of salad and calls Tony to the table. AJ starts discussing DNA, asking Carmela to guess how many nucleotides are in each strand. Meadow drones that AJ should just tell her. A hundred million, AJ tells her. Carmela absently says thats amazing. Tony sits at the table and says that Janice knows what time they eat, and that Carmela shouldnt set a place for her if shes not there. Carmela asks AJ to lead grace. As he starts, Janice busts in with an incredible amount of noise. She sits down, and AJ finishes grace. Tony scolds Janice for being late, and tells her to call if shes going to be late in the future. Janice coos, Dont send me to bed without dinner, Daddy, and Meadow giggles into her hand. AJ laughs as well. Carmela announces that Meadow passed her drivers test today. Tony stands and kisses her as Janice shouts, You go, girl! Meadow jokes about her instructor, and Janice calls him a fascist. Tony asks Janice if shes going to have some sausage. Oh, I forgot. You dont eat pork. Janice shakes her head quietly. In that way, Tony finishes. Meadow gives him a look like, Oh. My. God. Three seconds later AJ starts laughing and goes, Oh, I get it. Hes all nodding and shit. Tony says theres nothing to get and that Janice is a vegetarian. Janice smiles as she spoons herself some potatoes.
Out back at the pool, Tony has his feet in the water. Janice joins him. They make small talk for a little while about fireflies and nature. Janice puts her feet in the water. Janice says she knows that its not his favorite subject, but shed like to tell him the good news about Livia. She says that shes getting better and should be getting released soon. Tony asks how she can be getting better when theres nothing wrong with her. Janice explains that its called face-saving therapy, and that the patient has to think shes improving to get better. She says it shouldnt be much longer now, and Livia will need a place to stay when she gets out. Shes out on the street, Tony says. Janice says that the house is, in fact, Livias. Dead people dont have houses, Tony says, never looking up from the water. Janice reminds him that their father bought that house. Tony says that Livia should go back to Green Grove. Janice says she doesnt have that kind of money. Tony just puffs his cigar until Janice tells him to fuck himself. She lights a cigarette, and these two are making me want a cigarette so bad Im thinking about lighting up my cats paw.
Construction site. Tony jokes with Pussy that he should have seen the look on Bacalas face when he told him he had to be here today. Tony says that you cant get anybody good anymore, and that theyre always thinking about themselves first. Pussy stays understandably quiet. Pussy says he hopes Tony doesnt feel that way about him, and that its just his back keeping him out of these things. Tony says hes done plenty and paid his dues.
Two men show up at the site and see Tony. They start calling his name, and Tony freaks out and drives off. He shouts out the window, Im supposed to be seen here, you fucking idiots? Theyre all dumbfounded.
“ Janice scolds that Livia scared her. Livia asks everyone to go away and give her a minute. As they leave, you can see Livia look up after Janice for just a second. And for just a second you know that everything is an act. ”
We follow them up to the gathering outside the construction site. Theyre moving their trucks in, yelling that the protestors need to get out of the way. Theyre still chanting that they want jobs. One of the protestors sizes up with Christopher. They call each other horrible names and discuss sex with each others mothers until a riot breaks out. More cars pull up with mob men holding baseball bats, and fighting ensues. Bacala is the last to walk up. Trucks are honking, men are fighting, Bacala has a weak back. The foreman hides in his trailer as the Reverend keeps shouting.
Livias in her hospital room, sitting in a chair. Janice walks in and sits down. She tells Livia shell be getting out of there soon. Wanna go home? she asks her. Livia says she doesnt really want to go back to her house, and that shed rather go back to Green Grove. Janice says that place is for people that dont have anyone to take care of them. Livia says its not that bad, they give you fresh towels every day. Janice says that Livia cant go back there. She says its dangerous there. She says the owner is missing and that they suspect foul play. Livia immediately starts choking, and Janice runs out to the hallway and calls a nurse in. When the nurse gets there, Janice tries to give Livia some water. Livia moans, Why do they make cookies that way? Janice scolds that Livia scared her. Livia asks everyone to go away and give her a minute. As they leave, you can see Livia look up after Janice for just a second. And for just a second you know that everything is an act.
Out in the hallway, the nurse brings up the fact that theres no DNR for Livia on file. It means Do Not Resuscitate, and its for when theres no quality of life left for the patient. She says that the family might want to think about it. From the other room, Livia calls Janice, asking for her glasses.
Back at the Soprano home, Tony tries to program his VCR while Janice asks him for a decision on the DNR. Tonys only half listening, as hes having problems programming the VCR. AJ listens in from the kitchen. Tony says he doesnt care about the DNR. Janice asks what happens when Livia goes into a coma and has to be kept alive on tubes and machines because Tony didnt sign a DNR. Tony screams that when Livia goes into a coma, she isnt gonna give a fuck about anything. Janice gets quiet and says that hes depriving Livia of a place to live, and depriving Janice of a chance to make peace with her. Tony jumps up and tells Janice that she can have Livia. He says itll be worth it just to watch. Itll be like Whatever Happened To Baby Janice over there. Hee. Tony walks off as Janice smiles. AJ is laughing.
Carmela is plucking her eyebrows as Meadow asks for the keys. Carm says that the license isnt for traipsing around on school nights. Meadow brats that she was going to take AJ to see their grandmother, but if shed rather drive them, thats fine. Carm says they can go see Livia, but no funny business. Meadow snits about the level of trust in the family.