Two hour finale. Let's do this.
Actually, before we do this, I wanted to touch on the series as a whole, since there's been a rash of "How to Fix So You Think You Can Dance" articles across the internet lately. And while I don't think the show is broken -- and in fact, I think the dance talent this season was as good as we've ever had on the show -- I do think there was something off this season. I mean, the all-stars concept was a wrinkle, and in some ways it worked (getting to see Lauren and Pasha and Mark and Courtney and Twitch again; watching how far dancers like Anya and Neil and Allison have come), and some it didn't. I definitely missed watching the contestants find their footing with each other, in pairs that stayed constant for a while. I know there has been bitching in seasons about good dancers "carrying" bad ones, but I think those rare cases are worth it to see the bonds that develop between a Joshua and Katee, or a Legacy and Kathryn, or a Lauren and Neil. This show is about amazing dancing, yes, but we all enter it through the dancers' personalities, and they were harder to come by in the early goings this year.
Now, I don't think all-stars was a concept that was designed to return every year. I'd like to see them go back to a Top 20 season, keeping the pairs constant until Top 10. However, at that stage, once we've gotten to know them, mix it up as much as you can. All-stars, same-sex routines, whatever. If I can point at one positive change that has arisen this season, it's those boy-boy and girl-girl routines which really shook up the norm.
As for the judges' table ... look, I thought Adam Shankman was the best judge in Season 6, but this season he really devolved into a one-dimensional praise machine who just cranked out crazy hyperbole and tears. I find him delightful as a person, but he's outlived his usefulness as a judge. Without him, I think Mia's occasional lapses into metaphor become more palatable, and I do think her willingness to actually criticize is essential; she should stay. I've seen a surprising number of writers call for the return of Mary Murphy, which...no. It's like the Paula Abdul nostalgists: you're remembering through some seriously rose-colored glasses. That said, Mary always provided great insight into the ballroom routines, and as an occasional presence, I think she'd be fine. If it were up to me, I'd say keep Nigel and Mia and bring back the rotating third judge. Don't make me go through another season pining for Debbie Allen.
I don't think the show needs a major overhaul. Better casting (more hip-hop dancers, or at least more dancers who have had varied training), fewer routines (though with two hours to fill, that seems unlikely), swapping out Tyce Diorio for Spencer Liff. It won't take much. In truth, the biggest problem the show faces is that infernal stage. It also seems like the most fixable problem, right? It's too big -- make it smaller. We need intimacy with these routines. The current, cavernous stage makes everybody look small and less impressive. This isn't a difficult concept. Fix it, Uncle Nigel. Get off the phone with Shania and fix it.
Anyway! We have a finale. We're reminded at the top that tonight's winner will join the ranks of Nick Lazzarini, Benji Schwimmer, my beloved Jeanine Mason ... and some others who don't get mentioned. Sorry, Josh, Sabra, and Russell! (Um...did we really exclude all three black winners? Now I'm uncomfortable.) The opening group number feels very Inception-inspired, with the guys all in gray suits, and the movements feeling very zero-gravity at times. It's the entire Top 11 plus all-stars, which means when they all take the stage it's quite a sight. Alex Wong gets brought out strapped to a chair (again, reminded me of Inception), to great applause, and the whole routine ends with some fast-paced militarized synchronization. Very impressive. Choreographed by one of the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers, which I'm told is bananas. Oh, hello Neil Patrick Harris in the audience! I still want you and Cat Deeley to host the Emmys some day.
The judges' table is full to bursting -- seven of them, in fact. Nigel, Mia, Adam, Tyce, Stacey Tookey, the useless Kenny Ortega, and ... Mary Murphy. Aw, it is good to see your Botoxed face, you howler monkey of a woman, you. Am I ignoring the montage dedicated to Nigel's hair over the years? You bet! They did, however, unearth my favorite Mia moment of all time, when she called one shirtless, smarmy auditioner "sexful" instead of "successful." Adam also gets a montage of his various "looks," highlighted by a few old-school Shankman photographs.
Rundown of last night's performances, most of which I found totally fine and largely unmemorable. Robert and Allison were gorgeous with that pillow, but they've been better. Lauren and Kent together deserved better than nerds and Huey Lewis. The one exception, I will say, was Robert and Kathryn's West Side Story routine, in which Spencer Liff put Tyce Diorio to shame, forever and ever.
After the break, the judges begin with the selection of the season's best routines. It's funny, despite my high regard for the dance talent this season, I can only think of a handful off the top of my head that are shoo-ins for reprise. And one of them is Alex Wong and Twitch, which is out of the running. Kenny Ortega is up first, and he chooses the Kent and Neil Broadway routine (via Tyce) from Damn Yankees. You guys, I really loved this one. This really capitalized on the Big Brother/Little Brother vibe between these two, and the boundless energy found in Kent. This time, at the end, they slide into the company of a waiting Cat Deeley. Cute!
Nigel's choice is the Billy and Ade "Rich Man, Poor Man" routine, which I am on the record as having loved, particularly for Stacey Tookey's clever, layered choreography. And honestly, you can't go wrong with the dancing -- Billy and Ade are two of the finest contemporary dancers this show has ever seen, and Tookey really capitalized on their contrasting styles.
Cat then introduces Quest Crew, who you may remember from America's Best Dance Crew, and who you may also remember features Dance alums Ryan (Season 1) and Hok (Season 3). And Dominic, usually, but I guess he's busy with all-star stuff. They're awesome, and I could pretend to review the specifics of the performance, but honestly? I was just watching Hok the whole time. Love you, Hok!
Mia's pick is a Napoleon/Tabitha routine, as performed by Adechike and Comfort. Mia takes a moment to give props to how far Comfort has come since her time on the show. This is the one about domestic abuse, set to Alicia Keys. It's well-danced (especially by Comfort, who's a total powerhouse), but it falls a smidge short of classic, to me. But seriously, if Comfort danced this way in her season, she'd have been in the finale herself.
Cat then kicks it to a true classic of the filler genre: the "everybody loved each other this season" montage. And while I am the first guy to endorse intra-season couples (guys, I still think Legacy and Kathryn are deeply in love), I didn't get any of that this season. Even Kent and Lauren -- who at one point seemed kind of couple-ish -- have settled into comfortable BFF-dom. I will say, I'm happy they didn't linger on Dominic's tiresome Pepe Le Pew act vis-à-vis Cat. This then gives way to Kent and Anya performing their 3OH!3 "Hot For Teacher" routine, which I found slightly embarrassing the first time. This time, I think I appreciated the actual cha-cha within all the unconvincing creeping.
Tyce's choice is the clown dance with Robert and Dominic. Easily Robert's best work outside of his own genre, and if this hadn't shared a season with Alex Wong's miraculous NappyTab routine, it'd be the best hip-hop of the season too. Robert doesn't have as much clown makeup on this time, likely due to time constraints, which will maybe help the clown-phobics out there like him better.
I'm skipping past both a National Dance Day montage as well as Nigel tap-dancing. I
t's a two-hour finale, I've got work in the morning, and life in general is just too short. In truth, Nigel begs off of performing -- riffing on the "Season 7 curse" -- and instead gets a toddler to tap for him. Cute. Then two actual adults show up to tap in Nigel's stead. I...think all tap looks the same? I'm sorry! I'm a tap-ist. Forgive me, Gregory Hines!
Nigel's pick allows him to reiterate his claim from last night that Lauren is the best contemporary dancer they've had at performing ballroom, which I agree with 100%. He chooses her and Pasha's Argentine tango, which is just as blazing hot this time around. Lauren's adaptability too ballroom is part of the reason I think she should win this whole thing.
Adam's choice is Robert and Allison's contemporary, a.k.a. Travis Wall's Mom Dance. This one is my official routine of the season, absolutely the most memorable and beautiful and touching routine it had to offer. If Robert ends up winning, it'll be for this, and I will be just fine with that. Watching it back again, I still tear up when the routine breaks open at midpoint, though Robert is a tad behind the pace at a couple points. That's the danger with these reprises. They'll never be new again.
up are last season's winner Russell and Lil' C with a hot-looking krump. Russell may not be my favorite winner of all time (still love you, Jakob!), but he and C are pretty damned spectacular.
Mary Murphy finally gets her place in the sun, and she gets to the Hot Tamale Train in record time in introducing Jose and Dominic's Excalibur routine. I know people thought Dom outclasses Jose pretty badly on this one, but I still think it's one of Jose's season highlights.
Charlie Bruce is the winner of So You Think You Can Dance U.K., so Nigel imported her over to dance a Mandy Moore routine with Neil. Not a bad day's work, lady. In a shocking development, the routine is set to Celine Dion's "I Surrender." Hey, Mandy, Celine is MIA'S territory! And she's not even from the '80s, so I have no idea what you're even playing at here, but STEP OFF. As for the performance ... pardon me, I have to watch that again. WOW. This Charlie girl can leap, and her insane control and balance lets her stop on a dime, even if she stops, say, wrapped around Neil's waist. Girl, you're gonna have to teach me that one. You guys, remember when Neil was barely keeping up in the early weeks of Season 3? That seems like a billion years ago -- he's really spectacular. But the story here is Charlie, as I start to imagine an international season where she got to go up against America's finest. They'd have their work cut out for them. I need a hookup for SYTYCD U.K., and I need it today.
Now that we've reached the 80-minute mark, it's about time to get down to a Final Two, don't you think? Cat pokes fun at Robert and his Bollywood costume (uh, upcoming dance spoiler -- Kent's also in his "I just broke up with Neil" wifebeater, and Lauren's ready for hip-hop), calling it the perfect outfit to be eliminated in. I have to say, third place on this show is not bad company to be in. Kathryn. Kayla. Katee. Neil. I'd hang with that group. Robert will be joining them. That feels about right. He was my favorite throughout, but Lauren's been more impressive, especially these last few weeks, and Kent is Kent. Can't fight City Hall. Cat does her Cat thing, bucking up his spirits and introducing his best moments, wherein Robert's mom makes me cry for the 100th and final time this season. He sincerely -- and that's been an issue for him, so recognize -- thanks everybody who voted for him and all his fellow dancers. He's a sweetheart. He'll be fine.
Adam's up with another pick, and it's -- SURPRISE -- Lauren in a hip-hop routine, with Twitch. This is the one set to "My Chick Bad" by Ludacris and Nicki Minaj -- no real high concept, just some strong hip-hop from the pair of them. Lauren really had no weak genre all season, huh? I can't remember the last time a dancer was this skilled on contemporary, ballroom, and hip-hop.
Cat then kicks it to Alex and Allison dancing the Sonya routine from Week 1 that everybody overpraised. It's on tape, obviously, and it's actually very good, but that "best in show history" talk was kind of insane in Week 1.
Stacey Tookey's pick is the Bollywood danced by Billy and Robert. ...Did I like this one the first time around? It seems decidedly ordinary here among the season's best. I'd rather see Billy performing his jive with Anya.
Mia chooses Neil and Kent's "How It Ends" piece, the Travis-choreographed contemporary that I loved so much. This time around, I'm struck by what a mature routine this was for Kent. For all his "I gotta be me" talk in defense of his face-pulling, he kept it all on lockdown here, to tremendous effect. So he CAN do it, for the record.
Cat then introduces a performance of this year's kiss-off song, sung by Black Gold, and accompanied by a montage of season highlights. It's no Ryan Cabrera from Season 3, but it'll do. The lead singer of Black Gold looks like Andy Samberg's Eurotrash cousin. That's all I got.
Okay, here's the big WOW moment Cat's been teasing all night. First, she shows a clip of Alex and Twitch's hip-hop, unquestionably THE highlight of the season. Clearly, Alex can't get up and reprise it, but they were contacted by someone who wanted to help them recreate the performance. Saying no more, Cat kicks it to the stage, where Psychiatrist Twitch opens the door to reveal...Ellen Degeneres. Yeah. That had been spoiled earlier in the afternoon on Twitter, so I'm not shocked, but how disappointing. Turning the highlight of the season -- and a moment hyped for two hours as an epic performance -- turned into a stunt at best, a joke at worst. I love Ellen, and I love her enthusiasm for dance -- and in truth, she doesn't exactly embarrass herself here, but it can't help but be a pale imitation. I will say, the highlight was afterwards, seeing Mia Michaels serving Ellen with a Paris Is Burning style wagging finger. You go, Diva.
Now? Time to get real. Kent and Lauren emerge to reveal the winner of Season 7. My heart says Lauren, my head says Kent, and my gut tells me I'll be happy with either. It'd be so much easier to hate Kent if he were a crappy dancer, but he's not, so I can't. Cat! We only have five minutes! There's no time to look at their journeys! She finally gets to opening the envelope, and the winner is ... LAUREN! HECK YEAH!
There is seriously no time left, so all at once: Lauren freaks, confetti explodes, Kent is given a bouquet of flowers bigger than his entire body and shuffled off the stage, Russell presents Lauren with a ceremonial bottle of Gatorade (jealous?), and Cat has no time for Lauren to pull herself together and say anything. The dancers storm the stage and mob Lauren. Robert intercepts Kent emerging from the wings and spins him around in the bestest big-brother hug you ever saw. Then he seeks out Lauren, who at this point has cracked open the Gatorade and dumped it on her head. She and Rob share a delightful cackle, and then Twitch and Dominic put her up on their shoulders. It is seriously the best, most genuinely exuberant celebration at the end of a reality show ever. Just pure "HOW FUCKING COOL IS THIS?" delight. Not a bad way to end things, I'll say. It's been quite a season! Team LoFro!
Joe R wishes there was more time given to the all-stars in this finale. He will see you all season. Questions, comments, and unadulterated love can be sent to him at 1 2 3