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Seriously, Show? Three hours left till the finale. Three hours. What's Darkseid up to? How about Lionel? How's Oliver doing with that Omega on his skull? How about anything other than this? It would have been a fine episode in the beginning of the season, but it's just helping to kill what little momentum the show had going into the finale.
Anyway, here's the deal: Clark is busily trying to nerd himself up before coming out to the public as the Blur so that no one mistakes one for the other. (Dumb! So dumb. No time to expound now.) Just as Clark's complaining about his new life as a dork, a flashy new hero shows up in the form of Booster Gold. He saves a shy kid named Jaime from becoming a hood ornament, but instead of whooshing away like the Blur, he poses for pictures and autographs. Lois and Clark are immediately suspicious of him for no real reason. But, as is always the case on this show, their suspicions prove well-founded, as it's revealed that Booster is a disgraced football star who traveled from the future in order to replace Clark as Metropolis's favorite hero. His mettle is tested when Jaime ends up infected with an alien scarab and is transformed into the Blue Beetle. Sounds cute, right? Well, it's actually really dangerous and tries to kill a bunch of people, including Booster. Booster only manages to save himself by spouting off some heroic platitude given to him earlier by Clark. Thus inspired, Jaime manages to get the Beetle under control and nobody is really hurt. Even Booster ends up realizing what it means to be a real hero and it seems like he and Clark will be friends now.
In the subplot, Cat and Lois are vying for the same promotion. Lois is busy trying to remind the public that the Blur is cooler than Booster, but she ends up getting the job. This is in addition to the seemingly full-time job she already has trying to keep Clark on his nerdy toes, but he finally realizes the disguise is a good idea. Or something. Stay tuned for the full recap!
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!The show opens on Clark and Lois walking down the only street in Metropolis. Clark has finally remembered that he's supposed to be wearing glasses whenever he's not doing his Blur stuff. Unfortunately, he's also remembered that he's a big old whiner. "These glasses are driving me crazy," he boohoos to Lois. "So you've said," she replies without sympathy. Apparently he's been complaining about this for a while. Wouldn't it be cool if he could complain at super-speed? That way, he could get through hours and hours of whining in a couple of seconds and everybody could just move the hell on. Instead, he goes on at normal speed: "And this jacket is not helping." It's a perfectly normal trench coat of the sort we've seen him wear before, but suddenly he finds it terribly chafing for some reason. Lois sighs and stops in the middle of the sidewalk to remind him that it was his decision to treat "Clark Kent" as the mask and the Blur as his real self. Lucky for them, the people milling around them must be deaf or completely oblivious. Clark drops his voice to a whisper, takes off his glasses and reminds us of the damage the VRA did to the heroes. He says he needs to show his face before people stop trusting him again. Lois holds up a copy of the morning paper as proof of his high standing in the community. Headline: "Mayor Offers Blur Key to the City." Clark starts to "yeah but" her, but she cuts him off. "Before that handsome hero face ends up on Jumbo-Tron screens in all your red and blue glory, we need to make sure that there is nothing handsome or heroic about Clark Kent!"
This is just so, so dumb. If they were going to have him wearing glasses at the end of the series, it needed to happen much sooner. Like, in the first season, before his handsome, heroic and glasses-free face ended up in yearbooks and newspapers. Hell, he was even briefly on TV! I know that this show's world is populated by idiots, but if everyone were truly this challenged, the bulk of Clark's rescues would consist of going around reminding people how to breathe in and out. Even if people weren't smart, they're still nitpicky and nosy! They're going to remember his face and point out all the times they saw him. This whole disguise storyline makes a tiny spot in the upper left part of my brain throb. I can feel it right now. I'd better move on before gray matter starts shooting out my ear.
So: Clark is doubtful of the plan, which he damn well should be, because he's the one who thought of it. Lois molds his shoulders into a slumping posture and tells him not to be so great. "Honey, you need to be invisible and forgettable," she tells him. She looks across the street to where a teen-aged boy is fumbling with a map at the newsstand. Lois points to the kid as a role model for Clark. As they watch, the kid drops his backpack, spilling all his books onto the sidewalk. Lois laughs a little. "Lois, I was like that," Clark says. Only around Lana and only when she had her necklace, you doofus. Clark shudders at the thought of being like that again. Lois tells him to get over it, but she does it much more nicely than I would have. I would have slapped him, Moonstruck-style. Clark changes the subject by telling her to focus on that promotion she wants, but she's not easily distracted. "These need to stay on," she whispers, putting the glasses back on him. He makes a face like an eight-year-old whose mother has just insisted he wear a tie to church.
Meanwhile, that fumbly teen is jogging to catch up to a group of other teens. He trips over the curb and lands headlong in the street. An SUV has just turned the corner and is suddenly bearing down on him. The driver slams on the brake. Clark, now in the Planet basement, hears the squeal of rubber on concrete and zips into action. Everything slows to a crawl. The teen looks up, sees the SUV coming straight at him. Before the kid's cranium is turned into so much hamburger, a wave of golden light washes over him. A man in a blue and gold leather outfit has whooshed into the scene. He's shielding the kid and blasting the SUV with light from a device embedded in the back of his glove. The kid looks up, trembling, and sees car's smashed grill, stopped just inches from his face. Various oohs and ahhs go up from the gathering crowd. The newcomer hero stands to his full height, his costume emblazoned with quilted abs and sponsorship patches. His sunglasses are gold-rimmed. He takes a moment to pose with his hands on his hips as cheerfully heroic music plays, then helps the hapless teen to his feet. Clark watches from the middle of the street, looking a bit put out. "Brilliant save, sir," a man's prim voice says over the mysterious hero's earpiece. "Course it was, Skeets," the hero replies. Then to the teen he says, "Say cheese, junior." The hero turns a blindingly white grin to his adoring public as cameras flash. With a seasoned pitchman's skill, he introduces himself as "Booster Gold: the greatest hero you've never heard of... till now!" He announces he'll be signing autographs later at the Ace of Clubs [Hey, they have a set for that! - Zach], and the teen takes the opportunity to slip away. As he's making his escape, he gets a look inside the thwarted SUV. The driver appears unconscious. A man in the back seat also seems out of commission. His wrist is handcuffed to an open metal case containing a metallic mesh cannister that has been partially peeled open from the inside out. While the kid peers some more, a big blue scarab beetle is crawling into his backpack. Well, let that be a lesson to you: Don't keep your giant glowing bugs in a flimsy container.
Meanwhile, Booster is still hamming it up for the crowd. "If you need a hero, ping me," he tells them. As he makes his way out of the scene, Booster passes Clark and pauses. "Nice glasses," he remarks. He reminds people of his name once more, then flies up, up and away. Clark stares, eyes wide behind his nerdy specs. Somebody save his ego!
Daily Planet. Clark and Lois are making their way into the office. "He said 'nice glasses' like he knew who I really was," Clark snits. Lois suggests Booster just liked his glasses, but withdraws when Clark scoffs. He is instantly suspicious of Booster and already planning an investigation to find out why he's here. Lois surreptitiously nudges Clark into a coworker. "Hey, watch it," the guy says with a sneer. "When did you forget out to walk, Kent?" See? See? This guy remembers that Clark wasn't always a clumsy oaf! Lois apologizes to the guy as he walks off in a huff. Lois's explanation is that it's all a part of Clark's new disguise so that people won't connect him to the Blur. This reminds her that "Blur" won't be a fitting name once he steps into the spotlight. Clark huffs that the spotlight is already crowded with Booster. Big, whiny baby. God! He's just so awful sometimes. Thankfully, Lois tells him he's making too much out of the whole thing and Clark backs off just a bit. "I'm sure our flying car salesman will buzz off as fast as he buzzed in," she reassures him. Naturally, the universe decides to drop a blue and gold turd at that very moment, just to prove her wrong.
Clark walks into their office to find it occupied by Booster and a gaggle of cooing reporters. He's sitting in Clark's chair, feet propped up on the edge of Clark's desk. A photographer snaps pictures while a pretty young lady gives Booster her phone number. "You're sitting at my desk," Clark milquetoasts. "Yeah, I can read," Booster says. He stands up, scans the room, and asks, "Where is the greatest reporter the city's ever known?" He's talking about Perry White, right? He might still be in Africa, or maybe in D.C. with Martha. But no, he's talking about Lois "the hero-maker" Lane, who has just come in to disperse the ogling throng. Booster blows past Clark and introduces himself to Lois with a kiss on the hand. She's unimpressed. He offers her an exclusive interview that will get her the promotion she's been wanting. "It's a Booster Gold guarantee!" he says with a wink and a smile. Act now and you get a second set to give to your friends! But wait, there's more! Call within the ten minutes and you'll get not only the Booster Gold Guarantee for yourself, the Booster Gold Guarantee for a friend, but a complete set of gold electroplated douche nozzles at absolutely no additional cost! Lois is confused because Booster knew about her promotion, but her irritation proves greater than her confusion, and she tells him she's not interested in interviewing him. That seems kind of stupid. He may be an ass, but he's a newsworthy ass. At the very least, she could find out where he's from and why he's suddenly showing up in Metropolis. That prim voice on Booster's earpiece reminds him he's going to be late for the autograph signing. "So long, punkin'," he says to, I think, Lois. To everyone else, he waves like he's on a parade float.
Cat Grant comes pouncing into the room, mewling after Booster, but he's already gone. "What an ass," Lois says. "You mean asset," Cat corrects her. Lois is stunned, so Cat points out that it was Lois who wanted her to believe in heroes. She's impressed that he's not hiding his face or his name. "Booster Gold could be the city's answer to inspiration!" Cat says. Say what? She means a lack of inspiration, right? Her little kitten brain is working overtime. She thinks Booster will help get her that promotion. Lois gets territorial, but Cat remains just as bubbly as a Peep in a microwave. She has fans, she says, and they just love to tweet about her. Lady, people love to tweet about their bathroom habits, too. Don't get too big of a head just yet. "May the best reporter win!" she chippers and flounces out of the room. Lois turns to Clark, who has quietly reclaimed his desk in the background. Lois makes a comment about Cat being annoying, which just makes Clark even poutier. "She's not as bad as he is." It's not a competition, Clark. They're both super-annoying, and so are you. Everybody loses! Lois refocuses Clark on the task at hand, which is his continued nerdification so that the Blur can make his public debut.
Around the corner from the city's lone street, a group of high school students are sitting on the curb and enjoying bag lunches. One kid has a chocolate pudding cup that catches my eye. Mm, pudding. What are these kids doing here, anyway? Playing hooky en masse? Unstructured field trip? Big skinny jeans sale in Metropolis? The hapless teen from earlier sits among them, although not really with them. He pops the top on his soda, which promptly sprays all over his face. Lois is at a nearby coffee cart and sees the whole thing. As she watches, a pretty girl offers the kid a fresh can of soda. "Here, Jaime," she says with a smile. He looks up at her with surprise and gratitude. He opens the can and gets sprayed in the face all over again. The other teens laugh, including the girl who just moments ago seemed so generous. "Sorry, I forgot I dropped it," she says and rejoins her cackling friends. As he walks across the street to throw away the can, Lois sees the "kick me" sign stuck to the back of his shirt and takes it off. She tells him to stand up for himself. "Don't slouch, talk with confidence and stop being so shy," is her advice. Spoken like a girl who's never been shy or awkward. "Now, you go back over there and you tell them you're mad as hell and you're not going to take it anymore." Lady, this is high school bullying, not Network. Encouraged by Lois, he heads back to tell off his tormentors, but his nerve drains away as they get up and walk away. He looks utterly defeated. Lois looks like she's about to cry. Clearly the show wants us to make the connection that she's thinking of Clark's teen years. Except Clark's teen years weren't like that. He was fairly well-regarded by everyone besides maybe Lana's boyfriend. Hell, he was voted Homecoming King just earlier this season.
Jaime runs to catch up to the bully brigade, but finds himself alone in an alley. He hears an otherworldly whispering and scratches the back of his neck. The scarab beetle burns its way out of his backpack and crawls under his shirt collar. Blue light blasts out the back of Jaime's neck. He screams and the light fades. "What's happening to me?" he wonders. You just gotten bitten by a plot device, that's what!
Watchtower. Booster's gone and made himself a website complete with video. Clark watches as rockin' music plays and cheerleaders gyrate about on stage. Booster and his blue leather codpiece give the audience a sales pitch: "Have you or a loved one felt like you needed help from someone who really cares? Are you sick of all those masked men 'blurring' their way in and out without so much as a hello or goodbye?" This is all accompanied by pointing and posturing. When he smiles into the camera, his teeth sparkle with an audible ting! Also, because he's determined to make me hate him, he spells his name with a dollar sign. Clark stops the video playback as Lois walks in, her arms laden with long-stemmed yellow roses. She chides him for sending them, because the new Clark is supposed to be allergic to them. That... makes no sense. Nothing about any of this makes sense! Allergies don't preclude romance! Brain... throbbing... increasing. Moving on. Clark proclaims his innocence and reads the card that came with the flowers like any marginally sensible person would have done before flying off the handle. Anyway, they're from Booster. Lois goes "ew" and throws the flowers down like they're crawling with cooties.
Lois notices the computer screen over Clark's shoulder. Clark: "Did you know that in the last 24 hours, Booster Gold has made it to every major accident and crime scene in the city?" That bastard! Lois quite sensibly wonders what's so bad about having another hero in town. Clark is at a loss to come up with an answer. Lois gently teases him for being jealous of Booster. Clark's all, "Jealous? Me?" It's sort of funny if you imagine him saying it in Miss Piggy's most indignant voice. "Jealous? MOI?!" In actuality, it's just annoying that his ego is still this fragile this close to the end of the series. Clark complains that Booster seems to know when and where these things are going to happen. You know, to an outsider it probably seems the same way when it comes to the Blur. But Clark's upset that Booster doesn't prevent anything. "He just sweeps in at the last second, he makes the save and he gets the photo op." Really not selling the "not jealous" angle, Clark. He goes on to say that if people realize that Booster's in it for the fame, they'll lose faith in the heroes again. Here's where I briefly had a glimmer of hope that Darkseid would tie into things, but nope.
Clark finally moves on to a new topic, which is Kord Industries. Lois calls it the "Blackwater of the Midwest." Clark plays back a bit of a press conference with scientist and company founder Ted Kord, then sums it up for us: "Some kind of high-tech device went missing when one of his trucks crashed into Booster Gold." Seems like a company would try to keep that kind of thing hidden and not have a big press conference to blab to everyone about their own ineptitude. Clark says they're secretly involved in "disarming recovered super-weapons." The music's all ominous, but disarming super-weapons sounds like a good thing. Clark zips off to find the missing tech. Lois makes plans to uncover whatever she can about Booster.
Ace of Clubs. Flanked by his sexy cheerleaders, Booster's in the middle of his autograph party. His idea of autographing involves using a gold-inked rubber stamp. "Thanks for being my number one fan," he says to every person who comes up to him. Cat places her press badge on the table in front of him. He stamps it without really looking at it. She's momentarily perplexed, but not displeased. She introduces herself and he thanks her -- you guessed it -- for being his number one fan. She gushes about how awesome he is while he mostly just looks bored. When she offers to interview him, he cuts her off. "Sorry, blondie, not interested. It's gotta be Lois Lane or nobody." Cat tries to talk herself up, promising to get him more fans than the Blur. Booster is amused but not impressed. Skeets buzzes Booster, telling him he has a message from Lois. He's pleased to learn that she got the roses and that they apparently did their job. "Her interview with you know who made him the hero of Metropolis," Booster says under his breath. He grins to himself and adds, "Not if I get there first this time around." Cat, listening in, is puzzled. Booster thinks he should have come a long time ago. "Where does she want to meet?" he asks Skeets. "Actually, she's closing in on you now," the prim voice replies.
Lois approaches the table and Booster gets up to greet her, ignoring Cat's protests completely. Booster starts to thank Lois for her endorsement, but she quickly corrects him. "I came here to tell you to hit the skies." That... doesn't seem like a very good way to "uncover" info about him. She pees all over Metropolis on the Blur's behalf, despite the fact that just a couple minutes ago she was saying it wouldn't be bad to have another hero in town. Booster talks about being a hero that people can look up to, because they can actually see him. "The Blur's just not givin' it to them," he says with a funny snort. "But me? I am delivering the goods, baby." Lois is all, "Heroism is not for sale." Booster disagrees. Lois says he'll never be like the Blur, but that's just fine with Booster, since he came here to replace him. He gives Lois a wink and cheesy grin. Cat, who's been taking notes nearby the whole time, scampers off. When Lois leaves, Skeets buzzes Booster again. "Are you sure trying to usurp Clark Kent's destiny for your own is a wise decision, sir?" Booster sighs. "Greatest hero on Earth," he says, giving himself a little shiver of pleasure. "Skeets, that's a pretty good job description." Skeets tries to reason with him, but Booster's not having it. He suddenly grows serious and asks, "What other choice do I have?" You could be a dental model, maybe. "After all that's happened, this is my chance to be somebody again." He turns back to his fans with a megawatt smile and parade wave.
Metropolis. The moon is full over the Daily Planet. Again. You know, the tides must be crazy with all these full moons. Cat and Lois share an elevator ride that turns into an argument about Booster and the Blur. Cat thinks Booster's more real than the Blur, who's never showed his face or even said why he's protecting people. Lois says "real heroes don't stop to strike a pose," which is just funny because Clark poses all the time. It might not be at autograph sessions, but it's not like the guy saves people in secret. He stands there on rooftops and eye-burns his symbol all over the place. They argue some more about what it means to be a hero. When Cat gets off at her floor, Lois is left alone in the elevator, looking suddenly worried.
Kord Industries. There some folding tables, a few spotlights, that wrecked car... Other than that, it looks like any number of generic warehouses we've seen on this show. Ted Kord is on his cell, telling someone they won't be leaving Metropolis until they find "it." They still haven't found what they're looking for. Clark walks up to him, trying his best to act like the world's most awkward supermodel. He introduces himself with a bit of a stutter and adjusts his glasses. Kord says he's not giving any interviews to the press. He calls for security, but nobody comes, and his scientists just keep working on the car. Clark blathers on about how important this must be for Kord to head up the investigation himself, but Kord still isn't talking. Clark is clearly frustrated. He'd probably like to bust out one of his intimidatingly accusatory speeches, but he's stuck with his new, meek persona. He presses on. "Sir, how important is this weapon? How dangerous is it?" Kord eyeballs him. "Who said we're looking for a weapon?" Clark gapes in silence. "What's your name again?" Clark reintroduces himself with lots of stammering and a tangent about how he's not a front-page reporter and blah blah blah. He makes a pukey face and asks for a restroom. "I had a milkshake on the way in and..." Kord looks at him like there's no way he's letting Clark's irritable bowels anywhere near his restroom. He sends Clark on his way, but since Kord Industries has the same crappy security as every other company in town, Clark just hides behind some boxes. He listens in when Booster phones Kord. They talk about the missing weapon. Booster promises to find it in exchange for Kord putting in a good word with his buddy the mayor. "Pull some strings, get me the key to the city... I'll help you find whatever you need me to find." Kord is baffled. Booster explains, "Let's just say it's the last thing on my 'to do' list." Kord is still confused, but agrees to the deal: "Whatever it takes to get the scarab back." Clark zips away, but not before grabbing a glossy Kord Industries brochure about the scarab. Way to keep the weapon a secret, Teddy.
On his way back from Kord Industries, Clark pauses for a moment near the city's street corner so he can take a look at his ill-gotten brochure. Behind him, two men cover a Booster Gold billboard with a new sign for the Blur. Under Clark's S-shield are the words "The Real Man of Steel." Clark shakes his head and instantly recognizes Lois's handiwork. Lighthearted Superman music plays.
Booster's All-Booster Golden Revue. Booster has a team putting together a show for when he accepts the key to the city. (It's probably the same warehouse as Kord Industries, except now it has a stage and some curtains so it's a studio.) Cheerleaders prance about to guitar music for Booster's approval. "I'm gonna need a sound check for when I make my acceptance speech," he says to a tech. "Will you be thanking anyone, sir?" Skeets asks. "Well, me," Booster says, like duh. "And maybe my mom; people love that sentimental stuff." Jaime shuffles into the scene, desperate to talk to Booster. Jaime tries to explain he's been attacked by something, but Booster dismisses him with an autographed picture. He turns his attention to his cheerleaders and asks which of them would like to present him with the key. Wouldn't that be the mayor? Maybe he wouldn't agree to wearing the miniskirt. Cat Grant steps out onto the stage, wearing two pounds of makeup and a cheerleader outfit. She volunteers. Booster gives her an appreciative look and gives her the job. Tonight, the role of Lois Lane will be played by Cat Grant and her push-up bra. Meanwhile, Jaime has stumbled his way backstage. Blue light shoots out the back of his neck. As he screams, a metallic blue armor fashions itself around him. It makes him look vaguely like an insect on two legs. His eyes glow behind the metallic face. "Destroy," intones a distorted voice. Meet Blue Beetle, y'all.
Daily Planet. Clark confronts Lois about the billboard. When she tries to explain herself by saying that Booster is trying to replace him, Clark reminds her it's not a competition. He shows her the brochure. The scarab, he says, is extraterrestrial technology. It bonded with one of Kord's scientists like a parasite. "The guy's name was Dan Garret." Dan + Scarab went on to kill three people before they were stopped, and Garret died when the scarab was removed. "Kord hired Booster to bring it back in exchange for the key to the city," Clark says. Lois is aghast. "Your key to the city," she says. "He's been here like a day!" Focus, woman! What part of "killed three people" struck you as less important than Clark schmoozing with the mayor? She wants Clark to make his debut as the Blur, but he declines because his nerdification isn't complete or some crap. Maybe they could get a bookworm to bond with Clark and speed up the process. Lois gets a call from Booster and hands Clark the phone. "Hey, Blur Boy!" Booster greets him. "I mean Clark." Clark doesn't seem very puzzled by that. He tells Booster they need to find Kord's missing weapon.
An instant later, he's standing behind Booster under the billboard. They argue about Booster's profiteering style of heroism. Real heroes, Clark says, are trying to earn back people's trust. He also says that Booster is putting them at risk, but Booster disagrees. "No one's at risk -- not as long as I keep flying in for that heroic rescue." He makes a swooping motion with his hands and Clark notices he's wearing a Legion ring. Clark is agog to think that Booster might be a Legionnaire from the future, but it turns out that Booster just "borrowed" the ring from them. He is from the future, though. To reassure Clark, he says, "I always know exactly what to do at exactly the right time, thanks to the assistance of my historical data droid." He taps his earpiece and introduces Skeets. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kent," Skeets says. Clark gives Booster a lecture on the dangers of time. Case in point, Booster has now changed history just by showing up and Skeets has no idea where to find the scarab. Booster tries to act like it's no biggie, but he's clearly floundering. He covers it up with more bravado: "You're talking to the single greatest hero of the 25th century, all right?" Clark makes a "baroo?" face. Booster brags that he's some kind of big deal with billions of worshipers. Clark thinks someone will get hurt. Booster makes it all about Clark's jealousy. "You can't stand the fact that people are choosing me over you."
Clark opens his mouth to say something, but Booster cuts him off. He shows Clark to the studio's back door and every so magnanimously gives Clark the chance to go claim the key for himself. He says that according to history, whoever gets the key becomes the "man of steel." "All you gotta do is show me up, reveal yourself to the world, put that suit on display and steal my thunder." He pounds his heart for emphasis like he's Celine Dion. "The suit doesn't make the hero," Clark says. "A hero is made in the moment by the choices that he makes and the reason that he makes them." Try to remember that time you go off on one of your whining binges, dude. He says more inspirational things, then generously allows that Booster might be a hero, but he hasn't been acting like one yet. Booster is stung. He tries to hide it, but the armor is chipping. Skeets buzzes him. "They're ready for you, sir." He heads into the studio with one last parting shot about Clark's impending obsolescence. Clark looks worried. It's probably mostly because of the missing scarab, but also maybe a little because Booster got to him.
Booster struts up onto the stage with his cheerleaders, Cat and the mayor in tow. It's just another rehearsal, so the studio is mostly empty. Booster's in the middle of feeding the mayor his speech (mostly about how awesomely humble Booster is) when a stomping noise comes from the rear of the studio. Cat is the first to see Blue Beetle tromping out from behind the bleachers. If she hadn't spackled on the bronzer we'd probably be able to see her paling at the sight of him. The few people seated in the bleachers scatter. Booster is the last one to see him, right before Blue Beetle raises an armor-plated fist and blasts the stage with some kind of energy weapon. (Sorry, I don't know enough about this character to know if his weapon has a special name. Beetle Blaster? Beetle Juice? I'm sure someone will e-mail me.) Booster dives for the stage. Inside the Beetle helmet, Jaime is screaming, trying to make this thing stop and not having any luck. Against his will, he blasts some tech guy off the catwalk. Booster hides behind some boxes and asks Skeets for the deets. Skeets says he has no record of the attack or the attacker. "It appears Clark Kent may be correct," Skeets informs him. "Our presence here has made my historical data somewhat incorrect." Much mayhem ensues. Cat, lying sprawled on the stage and still clutching the key to the city, begs Booster to do something. He continues hiding. Blue Beetle raises a fist and aims at Cat, who gets up and... stands there. She just stands there all wide-eyed and waiting, just like when she met Deadshot. Booster is still crouching behind those boxes when Skeets speaks up. "May I offer you a piece of advice from your former career, sir?" "Football?" Booster mutters incredulously. "Go big or go home," Skeets tells him. Damn. I thought it was going to be something about remembering to powder the inside of your jock.
Clark arrives as cheerleaders flee the scene. He stands there for a second then catches sight of a phone booth. He whooshes into it, takes off his glasses, and the thing you know he's wearing his red leather jacket. [That must be why his trench coat was so uncomfortable earlier -- he had another jacket on underneath it. - Z] He zips into the studio at slo-mo speed so we get to see the cool effect of the energy blast slowly making its way from Beetle's gauntlet toward Cat. Clark stands between them, taking the blast on his chest while Cat sees only his silhouette. In the time it takes her to blink, Clark is gone. "The Blur," she says with a smile. Shouldn't Clark have zipped her off the stage? Why would he just leave her there? Maybe he saw the rest of the script and knew she wouldn't be attacked again.
Booster finally finds a modicum of courage and blasts Blue Beetle off his feet. Nice of him to remember he has super weapons, too. Beetle goes crashing through the bleachers while Jaime screams from within. Booster stands over him, ready to take another shot. "One move, bug, and I'll zap you to honeybee heaven." Honeybee heaven is probably full of yummy flowers, so that doesn't seem like such a bad thing. Blue Beetle grabs Booster by the throat, lifting him clear off the ground. Blue Beetle's faceplate opens just long enough for Booster to recognize Jaime as the kid he met earlier. Clark zips into the scene but hangs back like he's just going to see how this plays out. "I can't control the suit. Please help me," Jaime pleads. "You can help me, you're a hero!" Booster denies that he's a hero, but says Jaime could be. Or at least don't be a murderer, you know? Booster proves he's been listening to Clark: "Someone once told me that the suit doesn't make the hero." Gasping for air, he tells Jaime to fight. He tries, but the faceplate closes up again. Clark looks antsy but stays back. Booster tells Jaime to be a hero. It's his choice, he says. Jaime struggles and grunts and struggles some more. Suddenly, he releases Booster. With a flash of light the Beetle armor withdraws and Jaime drops to the floor. Booster helps him up and gets himself a big bear hug. Clark gives him an approving nod, then zips away.
At some point, he zips back, because after a commercial break he's back for a chat with Booster. "You surprised me," he says. They're standing on the floor above the studio while people clear up the debris below. They're both in plain view, although no one seems to notice that the Blur is having a confab with Booster. "I surprised myself," Booster says without boasting. He admits he screwed up. "I thought if I did everything you did or were going to do, I'd take your spot in history." Yeah, that was a pretty stupid plan. Clark doesn't understand why Booster did it. Booster wistfully remembers being adored by people, being "the miracle people hope for." He says he misses letting them know they were going to be safe. Football in the future must be very complex. "That kid down there took the brunt of my ego," he says, gesturing at the floor. Jaime is talking with Ted Kord and Lois. Booster talks like he knew things were going to end badly because they always do. Then he tells Clark he's a football star from the future. He bet on his own games and then threw them. "It was easier to lose than try to win," he says. He doesn't feel that way anymore, but thinks it's too late for him. "In the future, I got caught. Everything -- my fame, my fortune -- went down the toilet along with my dignity and my reputation." They still have toilets in the 25th century? How disappointing. You'd think they could teleport the poop out of you by then.
He admits he stole the ring, as well as the suit. He even stole Skeets, which Skeets acknowledges with a friendly "Affirmative, sir!" He says that his sister told him the same thing about the suit not making the hero. Clark points out that Booster was able to help Jaime, but Booster bitterly says he was just using Clark's words. And his sister's. Clark thinks that doesn't matter. "In the moment, you believed them, and so did he," he says. Booster doesn't feel all that much better. He starts to head back to the future, but Clark tells him he still has work to do here. Once Ted Kord removes the scarab, Jaime will need someone to watch over him. Why? Without the scarab, wouldn't it just be a regular babysitting job? Booster seems pleased nonetheless. He offers Clark his own advice, which is that "the Blur" is a stupid name. "You need something strong, you need something simple... you need something that actually starts with that S you wear." Thank you. Booster proposes "something super." Clark looks like it's never occurred to him, agrees to start "brainstorming." Aim for a braindrizzle, buddy. To seal their newfound friendship, Booster gives him a Booster Gold Fan Club shirt. Clark is going to wear the hell out of that thing.
Down on the floor, Ted Kord is extolling Jaime's ability to control the scarab. Lois asks if Kord will remove it, but Jaime protests at once. He wants to learn to use the powers. "I wanna be a hero like Booster Gold," he says. Booster walks up beside him, puts an arm around his shoulders and calls Jaime the real hero. Jaime grins. Lois takes him aside for an interview. That's it? Kord is just going to let him run free, all beetled up?
Daily Planet. Lois is clearing off her old desk when Cat comes in to congratulate her on the promotion. She's even brought a tin of S-shield cookies. Lois is suspicious, but Cat seems sincere. She admits she may have gone a little far (not by this show's standards) in trying to be the "voice of a hero" like Lois. Lois tells her to be a great reporter in her own way. "Be yourself," Lois says. Then she notices that Cat has also brought in a box of personal belongings... and a nameplate. While Lois is moving on up, Cat will be moving on in. I've never been so glad this show is almost done. Clark joins them. "Meet your new desk buddy," Lois says. Cat gives him a bright smile. Clark promptly klutzes it up and knocks over her stuff. He starts picking it up, all dorky apologies. "Clark's nice and all if you want to invest in a fixer-upper," Cat says to Lois. "But he's no Blur." Jeez, lady. He's right there. At least wait till he's out of the room to badmouth him, would you?
Kent Farm. It's night and the moon is, surprisingly, a mere crescent in the sky. In the living room, Lois is going over a folder of Booster notes. For some reason, she's wearing Clark's nerd specs. Clark watches her from the doorway for a moment. "After seeing all the trouble Booster went through to hide his insecurities, I think I can make the glasses work." But, as nature dictates, he immediately follows up with a moment of doubt. Lois gently chides him, reminding him he went from "sleek to geek in under 24 hours." That's a good thing, right? Clark sits beside her on the sofa and says he heard what Cat said about him. Lois was thrilled, but Clark is bummed. "It doesn't matter what people say about me; this is about you." He reclaims his glasses. He doesn't mind being a loser, but he worries what people will think of Lois. Again, this is just so dumb. One, women date nerds all the time. Two, Lois has never given any indication that she cares what the hell people think of her. Three, just shut up and stop with the moping already. This is just insulting to geeks everywhere. Clark goes on about how unbelievable it is that strong, sexy Lois would want to marry the new Clark. He puts on his glasses to illustrate his point. "How could they ever understand that you'd ever be interested in this?" he asks, and rips open his shirt. Well, there's your answer. Lois takes off his glasses and climbs up on him. "We can make this work," she says, kissing him. The last shot is of them easing back on the couch as the camera focuses on the glasses. Welcome to your lifelong commitment of boosting his ego, Lois.
Honestly, the best thing about this episode was the Lex finale teaser that played between scenes.
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Tippi Blevins came from the future to recap this show. You can reach her at b_tippi@yahoo.com or http://twitter.com/tippib.