This episode is nothing but hospital scenes. I think my position on those has been made abundantly clear. This is like a big visage in the sky that says, "Fuck you, Omar!" Thanks, Smallville dudes. Thanks.
We open on a thermal 3-D image of Janet Jackson's breast. You can see where the leather and the red flimsy lingerie were ripped away. Does anyone think it's weird that this boob looks like a hyperactive bottle of Visine? Oh, wait, that's no boob! That's a boob's heart! Bo Duke, in fact. We know this because Bo Duke is in a (Grrrr...) hospital bed, looking at it, concerned. "My God," Bo thinks. "It's full of motor oil." Bo asks a doctor if he can take home the souvenir video when they're done. Bo will take the tape and try to put it into the field thresher. MamaKent is standing behind the hospital bed, pursing her lips and wearing burnt orange. The doctor is touching one of Bo's nipples with what looks like a "personal massager." Yep. Nipple's done. Dr. Hibbert tells Bo to put his shirt back on. Yeah, Bo. We've seen enough. MamaKent asks how everything looks. Hairy. And nipply. Dr. Hibbert says the left martochotria ventricular whatsis is still disconnected from the, uh...leg bone. That motor oil isn't helping, either. Bo says he doesn't like the way that sounds. He was hoping Hibbert would say, "Heart good, you go home, have ice cream, hoo hoo hoo!" Hibbert says that because of the "arterial blockage" (oh, come on, he's just making phrases up now), Bo is going to need a triple bypass. He has three platitudes in his valves just struggling to get out. Ah ha ha, recycled computer animation of an inner ear (or as I like to call it, "The Bent Crutch Project") vibrating like crazy against Pom Pom's stomach. Hibbert now sounds like Darth Vader as he says that when Bo comes out of the hospital, he'll feel like...well, not a million bucks, but maybe change for $10. We pull out of the ear (ew) and see Clark Kent, Doofus About Town, listening intently. Bo asks if open-heart surgery isn't a bit extreme. Only if they put Mountain Dew in the IV. The freaky whoosh-vision camera places us back in the exam room as Hibbert tells Bo Duke that they've been friends a long time. "Given your present condition, you could have a heart attack at any moment, a hoo hoo hoo!" the doctor says. He says that the time could be fatal. "Stop with all this medical jargon, you quack," Bo screams. "Explain to me what a 'fatal' is!" Bo says that the surgery could be fatal, too. Dr. Hibbert has a snowy landing strip on the chin of his beard. He tells Bo he has a far greater chance of dying without the surgery.
In the waiting room, Clark is still eavesdropping, and catches that last bit of dialogue. He's broken out of his spying game by someone banging and yelling. Clark turns and sees that there's a teenager smacking his palm against a generic soda machine. Clark seems to know the kid. He calls him Derek, but I call him "Brotherman," both in keeping with the episode and in sideways deference to another well-meaning hostage-taker, our old friend "Jitterman." Clark hits the soda machine in a sweet spot and out comes "Shake Up" Cola, the cola with a big "S" logo. Brotherman takes his drink and thanks Clark. Sodas, incidentally, are 75 cents on this particular Vancouver hospital set. Brotherman asks about Clark's dad. They seem to have a familiar rapport that should be self-evident, given that we've seen this friendship blossom over the course of, oh, four seconds. Clark says that his dad isn't out of the thick Pacific Northwest woods yet. Clark asks about Brotherman's brother. He's in serious need of a new liver. If he doesn't get one soon, well...it won't be good. This kid looks like a younger, neutered, baby-fat version of Ryan from The O.C. Clark gives Brotherman the sympathy eyes as he talks about how his brother would want him to "hit the books" instead of studying. Hit them hard with his bloody fists in frustration and ambivalence about God. "What's it looking like for your dad?" asks BM. Like Janet Jackson's breast in 3-D. Clark brings up the open-heart surgery. Brotherman says is should be no sweat for Clark's dad, who's been bench-pressing proctologists all over the hospital. As the holy rays of fake light penetrate the hospital windows, Clark sits down and says he always thought of his dad as "a man of steel." They're going to replace Bo's heart with a giant block of gorgonzola. Clark says he was wrong. His father is actually made of cheap Reynolds Wrap. Brotherman launches into an inspirational ode to denial. They're all gonna be fine, and a year from now, they'll laugh about open-heart surgery, ha ha ha! I think the only one who'll be laughing is Dr. Hibbert. Clark likes that idea: "Yeah," he says, all shiny. Whups, Code Blue! Clark and Brotherman run to go find out what's going on.
Brotherman's brother is getting worked on, paddle-style. CLEAR! Dammit, live, damn you! Brotherman and Clark stand in the doorway of the darkest hospital room ever to kill a man. "Vince?" asks Brotherman. The frantic doctor wants Brotherman out of there. Beeping machines. Ping! Clark pulls the screaming Brotherman back. The doctor, who has craggy Willem Dafoe features, keeps trying. Chest pump. Chest pump. He gives up after five seconds of furious action. "Let's call it," he says. Time 'o death, 2:43 PM. The doctor throws down his gloves in frustration. Someone -- not the doctor -- is filling out a form on what looks like a PDA. An -mail form reads "Subject is ready for pickup." The person filling out the form submits it. We zoom in on the on-screen words: "for pickup." Close-up on the dead brother's face. Death be not loud, in this case.
Opening credits. Commercials. Mentos now come in a box instead of a roll, which doesn't make for as many opportunities to use one of those "Is that a Mentos roll in your pocket?" jokes.
Smallville Medical Center, again. Or as I like to call it, "Fucking Hell." Some sort of case worker -- who looks young enough to be taking her mom, an actual social worker, to Show and Tell -- is leading Brotherman to a waiting-room seat. Don't they have an office or conference room that would afford them a little more privacy? Clark and MamaKent are talking. Clark tells his mom that the boy has no family. His parents died in a car accident when he was little. This town is full of orphans, isn't it? MamaKent asks who's going to take care of him. Clark says he has an uncle in Germany who apparently didn't find the situation worth traveling over until the brother died and will be there in a few days. Clark brings up foster care. MamaKent refuses to let the system try to work its bureaucratic magic, and tells Clark that the boy can stay with them for a few days. Clark asks about Bo Duke's surgery. MamaKent gives him an annoyed look. "I overheard," says Clark. MamaKent says that Bo's not sure he's going to have it yet. She's going to speak with Dr. Hibbert (called, officially, "Dr. Scanlan" on the show, a reference to one of the producers, Tim Scanlan). Clark bursts into action: He goes to Bo Duke's room.
What is this? ER? Bo is sitting up in bed in a flannel shirt gently touching his titty as he eyes a heart brochure. "What's a 'blood'?" he thinks, blankly. Clark walks in on Bo as Bo puts it away, as if he's been caught with cardiovascular porn. Bo says he's sorry to hear about Clark's friend. Oh, they're not friends. They just met right before the opening credits. Clark says that Brotherman is in shock. Pouting, Clark says that's what happens when the most important person in your life is gone. Oh, cheer up. I'm sure Lex'll be around soon. Clark says he knows about the surgery. A little broken ear crutch told him. Clark asks if Bo is going to do it. "It's not quite that cut-and-dried," says Bo. It's actually moist and not yet sliced up. Bo says that there must be a way around this. A heart monorail, maybe! Or a toll road to the upper thigh. Clark says that the doctor didn't make it sound like there were a lot of options. Bo gets after Clark for his damnable eavesdropping. "If you'd stop trying to protect me from this, I wouldn't have to," whines Clark. Bo looks like he's going to smack Clark, but instead he just has a teeny tiny heart attack inside and grimaces. Clark doesn't want to be lost like Brotherman. Clark asks his dad to get the surgery. Bo mists up. He tells Clark to tell MamaKent to start filling out the admissions paperwork. Clark beams. Yay! Open-heart surgery rules! Clark hugs his daddy tight. Bo tells Clark not to worry. You know, it's just cracking open his chest and re-routing all his plumbing. No big, son. Bo says he's not going anywhere. Not without them re-working the opening credits, he's not.
Rooftop of the hospital. Two guys in white clothes are rushing a patient in a stretcher onto a waiting helicopter. The copter takes off. Nobody gets an arm chopped off, and the helicopter doesn't fall on anyone. In other words, boring.
Kent home at night. MamaKent brings out some blankets and a pillow for their houseguest, Brotherman. That couch looks like a rough sleep, right there. Clark asks Brotherman if he wants to be alone. No. He really doesn't. Uh oh. The Gay touches all who wander within these farm fences. Brotherman says it's ironic that his brother worked with explosives and died of liver disease. Wait, that's not irony, is it? Brotherman is mourning his brother. It's sad. He's broken up about it. Can't believe he's gone. Thinks it's a big misunderstanding. Hey, kid, have you seen this show? You might be in luck! The phone rings. Clark says he can make some phone calls to other family member. Nope. No family. Brotherman remembers that his deceased bro used to call him "runt." Wow. Nice brother. "Now I'd give anything to hear him say it again," Brotherman adds. MamaKent comes in and says she just got a call from the crematorium. She said they want to know where to send the ashes. Brotherman is confused; his brother is supposed to be buried to their mom and dad. Awkward!
Naughty burial rites: two lab-coated dudes are pulling a stretcher through what looks like a broken-down haunted house with bad plumbing. And they're in a hurry, too. Everything is shot fast and grainy, like one of those commercials telling you the dangers of choosing the wrong antacid. I hear monkeys screeching, and that can only be good news. We zoom in on the very comely (yet dangerous) Dr. Poonie Tang. "Let's move," she says. Yeah, it's starting to smell in here with all the monkey shit. How about a nice 3/2 over on Granville Island? Poonie Tang unzips the body bag. Yep. He's dead, all right. "Syringe," she calls. She's got on blue gloves and a bulky-looking wristwatch. She plunges the syringe right into the middle of Deadbro's chest. Deadbro wakes up. Man, I'll bet he's got a lot of email waiting for him. He sits up, coughing. He has the breath of the dead. Poonie welcomes him back. Back to life, back to reality.
The hospital, the den of my nightmares. Brotherman is mad because his brother got smoked. Or at least, he was scheduled to be. They're asking some poor hospital worker why Deadbro was sent to be cremated. She says they didn't send him; Metropolis General did, for "organ donation." She shows some paperwork. Brotherman can't believe it. His brother was a selfish dick, apparently. "No," he says, shaking his head. The hospital worker suggests that maybe Brotherman didn't know his brother as well as he thought. "What are you talking about?" he yells. "How am I supposed to be calm when my brother's been carved up and burnt to a crisp?" Yeah. That does suck, dude. I'm with you on that one. The woman tries to explain, but Brotherman yells at her again and leaves the exceptionally dark room. Clark apologizes to the woman. Clark approaches Brotherman, who thinks the documents must have been forged. Clark thinks, "You mean like in a fire with a sword?"
Stately Luthor Manor at night. Lex is sitting in a chair, maybe not even wearing pants, and chewing out someone on the phone at an embassy for not keeping track of those wily North Koreans. He hangs up the phone just as Chloe, wearing a Chloeavage-revealing maroon outfit (rrrrooowwwwrr), approaches. Lex says that Dr. Poonie Tang has vanished without a trace. That's the thing about Tang. Just when you think you've got a handle on it, it disappears into the night, usually with somebody else. Chloe has something else for Lex. Besides the Chloevage. She says that it wasn't work or science that brought Poonie Tang to the U.S. twelve years ago; it was marriage. Did I mention that my fiancée is a brilliant molecular chemist who can bring people back from the dead? That's why I’m marrying her, people. I'm gonna live forever, beeyatches! Chloe says that Tang married a rent-a-cop from Luthorcorp. Was he a working stiff? Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Dead people are comedy gold, baby. It's all coming clear for Lex: "So my father arranged a green card marriage." As Lex pours himself a tasty alcoholic beverage at the bar, Chloe says she tracked down the groom. Chloe says he's a watchdog at the "old Metron Pharmaceuticals building." Wasn't that where the old carnival used to be before those pesky kids solved the mystery of the scary pirate ghost? Lex says that building's been closed for seven years. Chloe says she thinks a delivery truck pulled up while she was being told to get lost. Lex says that his father's been "strangely stubborn" about liquidating the property. It looked pretty liquidated to me. Papa Luthor was waiting for a revitalization. Chloe says that the only thing getting revitalized around there is the graffiti. Chloe asks Lex to come with her to check it out again. Lex suggests that he should go on without Chloe -- not because he doesn't like her moxie, but because it could get dangerous. And Lex is to getting strung up and beaten like a piñata what hospital scenes are to my blood pressure. Chloe doesn't argue about not going.
The Barnness of Pet Sematarytude. Brotherman apologizes to Clark for getting worked up over, you know, death and stuff. As they're talking, they hear a noise at the door. Deadbro, wearing a dirty white t-shirt, stands at the door. "It's me, runt," he says. He stinks of the grave! Well, he would if he'd been buried. Brotherman and Deadbro hug. Clark has to ruin the moment by saying that Clark and Brotherman both saw Deadbro die. "I guess they were wrong," says Deadbro. Oh, well, that's a perfectly reasonable -- heeeeey! Deadbro says that all he knows is that he woke up in a lab, and that a woman with a needle "the size of Kansas" was standing over him. Oh, that's just a Thursday night for Andy Dick. Clark suggests that they take Deadbro to the hospital. Nope. He doesn't want anymore hospitals or labs. He's like me! Deadbro says they have to get "off the radar." He thinks somebody's following them. Clark asks where the lab is. Deadbro blinks really hard. He says it's somewhere in Metropolis. All these questions are making him woozy. His eye starts to bleed. Ew! My eyes sometimes do that on the hospital scenes. He doubles over and falls, starting to shake and groan. Brotherman yells for Clark to help. Clark stands there, thinking, "I wonder what Lana's up to today." Mighty powers of restraint!
Commercials. I can't even catch my breath before we're back at the friggin' hospital. Craggy Doctor follows Deadbro as he's wheeled in on the stretcher and can't seem to explain how Lazarus over here came back from the dead. They have instruments to measure deathness, ya know! Clark mentions the lab in Metropolis. The doctor says that whatever was done is short-term; his liver is deteriorating rapidly. Just like Season 3! Brotherman asks the doctor just to call the lab and order up some more of that sweet life nectar. The doctor has no idea what lab they're talking about. The doctor tries to reason with Brotherman, who doesn't want his brother to die again. The doctor says they're doing everything they can. Clark and Brotherman watch as the doctors tend to NotQuiteDeadBro. "I can't lose him twice Clark," Brotherman says. Deadbro isn't looking so hot.
In another hospital room, Bo Duke is getting his blood pressure taken. Clark comes in. Bo says he feels like he's being prepped for Thanksgiving dinner, and he's the turkey. Well, he's half right. Clark says he'll have a good scar to brag about. Nice one, Clark. Way to make your dad feel better about major surgery. MamaKent asks Clark what's up with Deadbro. Clark tells them about the lab, and how he wants to find it to figure out what cured him. "You need to go help your friend, Clark," says Bo. Doesn't he usually discourage these clandestine adventures? Clark doesn't want to leave, but Bo encourages him to go. He and MamaKent don't want Clark to see the old man all butchered up. Bo tells Clark that if there's a chance he can save a life, that's what he needs to do. So it's like a chore, then? Clark starts to say something, but Bo says he already knows. It's an officially sanctioned Tender Moment. Buy the commemorative plates! Bo and Clark hold hands. "And I love you, too," says Bo. Aw. Clark goes to help his friend.
Outside the hospital, it's GAH! Lana! She's wearing all pink, y'all. Pink shirt, pink coat, pink headband, pink scarf. She's like Nintendo's Kirby on the Atkins diet. Blind! I'm going blind! She emerges from the parking lot with a basket of snacks. She tells Clark she's bringing "sustenance." Soul-sucking, scene-wasting sustenance. Clark tells Lana that his mom will appreciate it, and then brushes her off to go on his little mission. Lana asks if everything's all right. Clark explains about the liver disease and the coming back from the dead and the bleeding eyes. Lana looks stricken. She says she saw it before with Poor Man's Wes Bentley. She tells Clark she read his obit. Clark asks if Lana told anyone. She tells Clark that she was told she'd be in danger. They also make the connection about the injections that PM'sWB was taking. Lana says maybe that serum he was taking was keeping him alive.
Just when I think we've escaped the hospital, they keep pulling me back in!. Brotherman is hovering by his brother's room. He sits on the bed. Apologizes. Deadbro assures Brotherman that the liver thing isn't his fault. Brotherman whines that if it wasn't for him, Deadbro could have had a better life. He could have gotten married and had kids of his own. Deadbro, who has patches of abrasions all over his face, says he wouldn't have done things any differently, "even if you are a runt." All right, enough with the "runt" already. We get it. Deadbro falls asleep. The doctor interrupts them. He takes Brotherman aside and tells him that there's not much else they can do at this point. He advises Brotherman to start saying goodbye. Plus, visiting hours are over for runts. Brotherman vows not to let his brother die. He yells it again for clarity, backs out, and walks out of the hospital. The doctor thinks, "I wonder who Willem Dafoe's agent is."
Another hospital room. I begin to contemplate drinking Dran-O. MamaKent tells Bo that the doctors are coming soon. He takes this moment to speculate on what might happen should he, you know, shuffle off this mortal Bo. Bo says that he's sure that Clark and MamaKent can take care of each other, but he reminds MamaKent about their promise to each other -- that when Clark is ready, they have to let him go. Teary, MamaKent says, "When that day comes, you'll be standing right beside me." Much choking up. They kiss. There's a knock at the door. Dr. Hibbert is ready, hoo hoo hoo.
The Torch offices. Chloe and Clark walk in. She offers to run with this investigation if Clark needs to be with his dad. Clark says that his parents know what he's doing. Chloe's wearing some sort of weird low-cut hooded purple top. Clark whines that he can't do anything for his dad. Chloe reassures him that things will be fine. Clark says that they need to figure out what brought Deadbro back to life. Maybe it was Red Bull! No, wait, that just gives you wings, not life. Chloe got an email from "D. Farrell," her contact at Metropolis hospital. He told her that the only bodies brought in the day before were both female. Uh oh, big surprise about Deadbro! He's Deadbra! Clark surmises that the helicopter must have taken Deadbro somewhere else. Chloe suggests talking to the "flyboy."
Flyboy Central. Clark approaches a pilot messing with a helicopter on the roof of the hospital. Eschewing niceties, Clark asks where the pilot took the body yesterday. The pilot -- who looks a little like Bruno Kirby -- plays dumb. Clark is insistent, and threatens to get the guy in trouble for not taking a body to the right place. Clark asks to be taken to where Deadbro was flown.
One illegal flight later. Ha, Clark has on a helmet in the helicopter. I thought he was afraid of heights. I believe Clark can fly! They're flying over the blue city of Metropolis. "What is this place?" Clark asks the pilot. They paid him cash. He asks no questions. They land on a shady building. Hey, it's Vancouver! Clark gets out of the helicopter and it leaves him behind. Clark spies a steam pipe on the roof and uses his inner ear crutch to listen to what's going on inside the building. We zoom through the pipes and find....
...Lex Luthor chatting with Dr. Poonie Tang in the lab. "So this is where you were deported to?" he asks Tang. "I can only imagine the moves you used to sway the immigration officer." Lex is so dirty to her! She asks how he got past Security. Lex used the family name to open these Luthorcorp doors. Lex goes around looking at the lab equipment. He picks up a vial that's just sitting around. "Now, this looks familiar," he says. Life juice? Just laying out? Oh, man, Clark's inner ear now looks like it consists of a butt-crutch. Seriously, go back and look at it again. His crutch-butt is vibrating. A lot. Poonie Tang takes the vial and puts it back. She says it's a very delicate substance. Poonie tells Lex to leave, or she'll tell his father. "Can't you just send me to the principal instead?" Lex asks. They need to get it on. Seriously. Lex says she turned down his offer of funding her research, and that she'd better start talking about this platelet cocktail or he'll make sure she's on the INS (there is no INS anymore, incidentally; it's Homeland Security) to Pyongyang. She looks scared. Lex says he doesn't think they like North Koreans doing illegal research on American soil. Ooh, topical!
On the roof, Clark finds a door.
Back in the lab, something whooshes into the room, rustling papers. The sample disappears. A monkey screeches! Screech, monkey, screech! Poonie asks what Lex just did and where the sample went. Lex looks magically curious. We go to commercials.
The Alamo trailer. Hey, a friend of mine is one of the pretty Mexican ladies in that commercial!
Medical Center. I say a little prayer for me. In an operating room, Dr. Hibbert refrains from giggling as he prepares to watch Bo get sliced up the center. He wants two more milligrams of potassium fluoride. Not for Bo. He's snacky and just wants a banana. Oh man, Bo's chest got shaved. They're putting some iodine on it. Stings, don't it? The incision! Ouchie!
MamaKent is in the hallway, getting some coffee from a machine. Lana is waiting with her. Still dressed in pink. Lana reassures MamaKent. "Pete!" MamaKent exclaims, eager to have somebody besides Lana to keep her company. Line One: "I wasn't sure if you guys wanted your space, but at the end of the day I thought I should be here." MamaKent hugs him. Line Two: "Where's Clark?" MamaKent says he'll be right back. Pete turns and misses his third line. Someone down the hall is yelling. It's Brotherman, and he's yelling for the Craggy Doctor. He's holding something in his coat. The doctor rushes down the hall. "My brother needs a liver," Brotherman tells him. He opens up his coat to reveal...a Lazer Tag vest? No, it's explosives with glowing green sensors on it. "And now, you'll get him one!" Brotherman demands. MamaKent, still with her coffee, steps forward and tells Brotherman that this isn't going to solve anything. He tells her not to come any closer. Brotherman tells the doctor to make sure his brother gets that liver transplant. Lana and Pete exchange a useless look.
Outside. Sirens. A perimeter. Reporters! Clark shows up at the police line. Cops try to look busy. Clark goes under the police line and calls for the Sheriff. The Sheriff yells at Clark that she's a little busy with the logistics and the snipers and the homespun similes. Clark tells her that his dad is having surgery in there. Sheriff Cheshire takes time off from saving lives to fill Clark in on what's going on. Clark asks if the would-be bomber is Brotherman. Clark tells the Sheriff that Deadbro doesn't need a transplant, and that he has medicine that can cure him. Clark pulls out the clear-liquid vial. Cheshire asks where he got this wonder drug. It's a long story, lady. Clark says he knows the kid; he's just desperate. "Desperate equals dangerous in my book," Cheshire says. Read her new book, I Don't Have Time For This Crap, Mr. Kent, and Other Colorful Crime Colloquialisms, in bookstores now! Clark asks her to get Brotherman on the phone, at least.
Inside. Lana is staring at a coughing old lady. Pete Line Three: "We have a serious problem," he whispers to MamaKent. Really? Ya think? Oh. Pete says that Clark can't help them, since the bomb is laced with meteor rock. Pete says that Brotherman's family uses it in their demolition business. The family that Brotherman doesn't have? "More bang for their buck," Pete says bitterly. Did they blow your house up or something? Brotherman tries to look menacing carrying his vest bomb and timer. The doctors try to do nothing for Deadbro. MamaKent gets up and approaches Brotherman again. He tells her she's a nice lady and he doesn't want to hurt her. She asks him not to do this. "It's not what your brother would want," she says. Brotherman says his brother wanted a transplant and to see him graduate high school. He's going to make sure that all that happens, even if he has to get his diploma in jail. The phone rings. Brotherman answers. Clark tells him he got a vial of the lifestuff from the lab he tracked down. Brotherman asks why he should trust Clark. Because of their long-standing friendship of twenty-eight minutes! Brotherman invites Clark in. Cheshire, listening in on the call, says she won't allow that. She wants a deputy to take the medicine in. "It's Clark or no one!" Brotherman whines. Ah, Lex's personal mantra. Clark tells Brotherman that letting the hostages go is the only way they'll let Clark go in alone. Cheshire nods at this crazy kid's brilliant idea. Brotherman hangs up the phone. Decisions!
Open-heart surgery room. Dramatic music plays at the camera zooms in on Bo's slack face. Surgery. Got it.
The front door of the hospital. Whee, the hostages are free! Everybody runs. Clark goes against the tide. MamaKent finds Clark and tells him that Bo Duke is being operated on. Lana and Pete run off without a word. Cowards! MamaKent fills Clark in on the meteor bomb. Cheshire goes to a waiting gunman and tells him that there's too much at stake here. She tells him that if he gets a clean shot, he should take out Brotherman. There's so much more at stake now that the hostages are free? Uh, right.
Dark hospital corridor. Are you as bored as I am? Clark looks for Brotherman. They meet, standoff-style. Clark shows the vial. Clark puts the vial on the floor so that he doesn't have to get too close to the green bomb. Clark uses the excuse that he'd just like to keep his distance from explosives. Brotherman picks up the vial. It bubbles and darkens in reaction to the nearby meteor bomb. "Is it supposed to do this?" Brotherman asks. Clark says he doesn't know. Brotherman backs away and gives the vial to the doctor. He tells Doctor Craggy to do the injection in his brother's chest. "What is this?" he asks. "Just do it!" Brotherman commands. Clark backs that suggestion up. Science! The serum is inserted into a big-ass needle. They do the chest thing. Brotherman asks Clark, who's now standing with them in Deadbro's room, how long the serum is supposed to take. They wait. The doctor says there's no change in the vitals. Brotherman accuses Clark of lying to him. "My brother's getting a liver now!" Brotherman demands. Er, they don't have one, dude. Ed McMahon took them all. Brotherman says they have a man lying in the OR. "That's my dad!" Clark realizes. Doesn't it have to be a matching liver type? Brotherman says he doesn't have a choice. "You're not touching him!" Clark yells. Brotherman holds the bomb timer out, which somehow makes Clark sick. Clark backs away. Brotherman says that Clark will still have his mom. The doctor says that the chances for surgery success are low. "Just go!" says Brotherman. He's not much of a villain, is he? As the doctor leaves the room, Clark whispers, "Doctor, you can't do this." "I know I can't," the doctor says. He's not even a surgeon!
Outside, the sniper is on the rooftop, trying to get a good shot. He sees Clark in his scope. Brotherman leaves the room and walks past Clark. The sniper has a clear shot of a hallway. Brotherman turns as Clark tries to reason with him. Brotherman apologizes. Clear sniper shot of Brotherman's chest. Fire! Brotherman is shot. He falls in slow motion. He knocks over some hospital shelf stuff as he falls. Clark sees his thumb slip from the bomb trigger. In Bullet Time, Brotherman is still falling. Clark leaves a Clark-shaped puff of air as he superzips back, opens a hospital door to Radiology, grabs a lead vest, and runs down the hall with it. He covers the bomb with the lead vest, twists it off Brotherman, and runs. Wouldn't it be exploding right about now? Clark sprints in slow motion and runs outside. He dumps the bomb in some sort of shack where nobody can see him, and there's a green explosion. So the cops aren't covering this exit, then? Inside, Brotherman hits the floor. Vials crash around him. More exploding outside. The doctors working on Bo are like, "Huh? Wuh?" Dr. Hibbert asks if everyone is all right. Bo? You all right? They continue the surgery. Commercials!
Woo, Dawn of the Dead! I like me a good zombie movie.
Metropolis. It's still blue. Inside, Poonie Tang is walking Lex through the halls of her stinky warehouse lab. She tells him that Papa Luthor wanted to cut off somebody's medicine. But, she says, she couldn't do it. Lex completes the thought: she put somebody down in the bowels of the lab to hide him from Papa Luthor. Lex asks why she doesn't give this kid more medicine. She says that the blood platelets are in short supply. Lex asks where the platelets come from. She says she doesn't know. She tells Lex that she's not lying; why would she? Lex is her own way out of Papa Luthor's grip. She says that the platelets have an amazing ability to "revive necrotic tissue." Lex asks why all the subjects suffer from the same liver disease. Poonie says that the cells in the liver are the most resilient in the body. Yes? And? Poonie Tang opens a locked door. It reveals a cell. Inside, Poor Man's Wes Bentley is wheezing and curled up. Lex asks what's wrong with him. Poonie says he's deteriorating. They had given him an early version of the serum. PM'sWB twitches as Lex watches.
The Talon. Marque: "Smallville's Best Cappuccino." They're not even trying with that marquee anymore. Lana is cleaning windows in PM'sWB's former room. She's wearing a tablecloth for a shirt. "I don't think it's going to get much cleaner," Lex says, standing across the room from her. Lana asks what's up with Lex. He says he came to try to find more clues to Poor Man's Wes Bentley's whereabouts. Lana, wearing pink cleaning gloves, says that what's important is that he's gone. Strummy, desperate music plays. Lex asks if she knows where he went. Lana just wants to forget him. "Lana. Is there something you're not telling me?" Lex asks. Lana lies that there's not. Why must everyone lie to Lex? Is he not cool enough to be in the Scooby gang? Lana complains that she'll have to put all the stuff in the room in storage. She grabs some books from a shelf. Lex comes to her. He touches her chin and tenderly wipes some smoot from her cheek with a cloth. Ew! Please don't love her, Lex. Please don't. I'm begging you, man. Lex tells Lana that if she ever feels like talking about the dude, he's there. As he walks out, Lana stops him. She asks why he's still interested. Lex says that Lana came to him to get rid of the guy. "I’m just following up and making sure he stays that way," Lex says. Sadly, no Gayest Look of the Episode this week.
Hospital, daytime. MamaKent and Clark walk out the front entrance with Bo, who's in a wheelchair. Bo tells the nurse that he can take it from here. He gets out of the chair. MamaKent carries a basket of yellow flowers. Bo walks a little unsteadily. Clark, in a red jacket, looks troubled. Bo asks what's wrong. Clark reveals that he found Lex at the lab talking to a scientist when he stole that vial. Clark thinks Papa Luthor is behind all this. I'm still trying to figure out why that vial didn't help Brotherman's brother. Bo is not surprised. Clark says that the vial reacted to the Kryptonite the same way his blood reacts. Clark thinks the serum was derived from his blood. Yeah, chew on that one, Bo. "If my blood can save lives, maybe I should come forward," says Clark. He wonders if his blood might somehow repair Bo's heart permanently. Bo crushes that dream. He tells Clark that he's going to save a lot of lives in this world. Lots. Clark says the only life he's interested in saving is Bo's. "You do. You save my life every day that you're with us," Bo tells him. He puts an arm around MamaKent. Bo says they wouldn't trade that for a single moment without Clark. So...you're not interested in helping others, Bo? I'm getting mixed signals here. Clark smiles and isn't at all confused.
The Talon, again. Lana is slinging coffee. Clark comes in. Lana asks how Bo is doing. Clark says you'd never know he had a triple bypass. Clark says that his mother bought the doctor a combat helmet as a thank-you gift. She did not! Clark tells Lana that he talked to Brotherman's uncle and had to explain what happened. We don't find out what happened to Deadbro. Clark only told the uncle that Brotherman is a good, desperate kid. Lana feels guilty for not saying something about Poor Man's Wes Bentley and his bleeding eyes sooner. None of this is Lana's fault, says Clark. Everything else? Her fault. Clark says he understands keeping secrets to protect people. Lana says that it was hard keeping it from everyone. She says she was relieved to tell Clark. Clark says that no matter where they stand, he's still her friend and can tell him everything. Fucking hypocrite. Lana says that goes both ways. Clark turns and leaves. Lana stops him. "What do you think was in that serum?" Lana asks. "I have no idea," Clark says, very forced. He walks out as teenybopper music plays. Lana looks after him, thinking, "Freakin' liar." For once, she's right.
week: I collapse in a heap from recapping too many episodes in a row. Also, Papa Luthor is up to no good. And Lana might get shot!