Perfume counter. The four girlfriends. Together again. Shopping for stinkwater. Char is wondering what smell she is. I'd say Pilgrim by Nicole Miller. Or maybe Old Money, by Ralph Lipschitz. I mean, "Lauren." She asks if she's "peppermint musk," and I shudder. That would be like Charlotte ordering a shot of Goldschlager and a can of Black Label. Char has to be a classic perfume person. Carrie announces that she's "taking a LOVAH. Yes, a LOVAH." Miranda says dubiously, "The old guy?" Yup. Carrie says, "My LOVAH is not old, he is worldly and wise, and very sexy." Straight up, though, he's old. And SJP is thirty-nine. Still hot and well put together, but thirty-nine is not spring chickenly, either. Baryshnikov is probably pushing sixty. Yowee. I could never. I like 'em young. They're just fresher that way. Older dudes have that thousand-yard-stare thing in romantic moments, like they're veterans of a war. The war of looove. But Carrie is too taken with the idea, and the sound of the word "LOVAH," and says it like a hundred more times as the four friends squirt each other, sometimes aggressively, with things called "cucumber basil" and "pomegranate patchouli." Char thinks Aleksandr could be more than a LOVAH, and Carrie says it's only going to "LOVAHville." Oh, really? What about the stops at Handholdington? Snugglesburg? Cuddlewicken? And final stop, Couplehocken? Char asks Mir what's going on with her and Steve. Carrie singsongs something about Mir and Steve "sitting in a tree," always a classic. Then she goes, "First comes BABY." Hey, drink every time they mention the baby! If you see the baby, drink twice. Mir's happy she and Steve are back together. Now let's all have a moment of silence in remembrance of Blair Underwood's sexy naked ass. Sigh.
Elevator, Miranda's building. She and Steve get on, congratulate each other on their "lucky" happiness, and begin to make out. The elevator stops, the doors open, and Robert gets on. He seethes, doesn't say hi, and generally gives off totally hurt-yet-offensive vibes as all three ride down in uncomfortable silence. Mir manages a weak, "Hi." Robert gets out, "Well, if it isn't the happy couple." Steve says, "How are you?" The doors open on the ground floor. Robert steps off, saying sarcastically, "Y'all have a nice day."
Char and Anthony (Mario Cantone, I'm kvelling! I wonder if he ever goes to Dick's Bar?) walk in the park. He begs her to stop yammering about getting preggers with Harry's baby and not bothering to get a job since she's gonna be preggers with the baby, and should she volunteer to do something to kill time before she's pregnant? Seriously. Shut up, Charlotte. He begs her to say something bitchy about someone they both know. That's why I love my friends; I never have to beg them to say something bitchy, nor they of me. It's just an unspoken understanding between us. Love means never having to ask to shit-talk. Then he asks her to "look at the light," and she thought he meant a larger, broader kind of light, like wisdom sort of (ding ding ding!), and he just meant the light in the tree over there. Then Char sees a blind guy (whoop whoop!) and she thinks volunteering for the blind would be cool. What could be worse than being blind on a beautiful day like today? Mario says, "Stone-washed jeans and a matching jacket." Heh. Don't forget the goddamn purple prairie skirt.
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