So Carrie tells us that NYC can be terrifying, but nothing is as frightening as bumping into an ex before youve had your morning coffee. So, what if you dont drink coffee? Is it not as scary to bump into an ex then? Is it merely disturbing? Miranda is walking out of a coffee shop when good ol' Steve yells her name. Miranda almost does a spit-take of her coffee, but acts happy to see him. He asks her how she's doing, and she says her life is boring and asks him what's up with him. He guesses she didnt get the invitation, and Miranda starts to turn pale and asks what the invitation is for. When he tells her he's opening up his own bar, the color returns to Mirandas face and she gets all excited for him. He tells her the opening is Saturday, and as he's telling her he would love to have her come to the opening, a cute blonde walks out of the coffee shop and joins him. Miranda starts acting all fake happy then as Steve reminds Miranda that she met Jessica before (in last seasons finale). Steve then reminds Miranda that the opening is Saturday, and Jessica tells Miranda that wed love to see you there.
Miranda is at her office, and she calls Carrie to bitch about Jessica using the term we like it is some taboo word, like how Jewish people can only say the word Yahweh one day a year. And there is some sort of art on the back wall of Mirandas office that looks exactly like something I saw this week while watching Trading Spaces, where one of the interior decorator guys used pipes and thin pieces of wood and weaved the wood around the pipes so it sort of looked like a big basket pattern on the wall. I wonder if Mirandas office set was done in forty-eight hours, using only $1000, and done by two set designers from another television show, while the Sex and the City set designers went to the other show to decorate a set there. Carrie is still half asleep and she tries to wake up as Miranda complains that opening a bar was her idea but she didnt get any credit, and she's annoyed that Steve wasnt as ambitious when he was with her. Carrie suggests that Miranda was his inspiration, and that he named the bar after her. Miranda tells her he named the bar Scout, after his dog. Which I think is a good thing to do, because you can have a falling-out with a significant other, but your dog is your buddy all its life. Miranda doesnt want to go to the opening, but Carrie tells her she has to now that she and Steve are friends. Miranda asks Carrie to go with her, and Carrie says, Well, of course. Absolutely. Thats what friends are for.
The girls are having breakfast, and Carrie tells them that she refuses to go to the opening. Carrie looks like she partied hard the night before and didnt have time in the morning to wash the smeared eye make-up from her face or do anything with her messed-up hair besides pull it back into a ponytail. She looks pretty ragged as she wigs out about the opening and shows the girls the invitation she got, which says that Steve is partners with CIM! Charlotte and Samantha are shocked. Miranda tells them that she called Steve that morning and Jessica answered the phone, and Jessica told her that CIM was a silent partner. Carrie doesnt want to go because it will be a parade of failed relationships, and wonders if her junior prom date will be working there too. Charlotte tells Carrie that CIM was trying to reach out to her and wants to be friends again by inviting her to the opening, but Carrie doesnt want to be friends and refuses to go to the party. Samantha volunteers to go with Miranda, and Miranda is very happy to be going to the opening with Samantha and her lesbian lover. Samantha suggests they leave the old ball and chain at home that night, because she is tired of staying at home all the time, taking baths together, and yakking about feelings. She tells the girls that she doesnt know how they do it and that she finds it exhausting, and Miranda is all, I know, dont you just hate that! Oh how wacky -- Samantha thinks like a man regarding relationships! Thats something weve never seen before. Oh, wait, we have. At least the writers are consistent here.
Samantha and Sonia are walking into a chic restaurant as Carrie tells us, That night, Samantha was determined to get [Sonia] out of the tub, and out on the town. Sonia is complaining about being in such a big crowd with all the cigarette smoke and how she'd rather be at home in the bath, and Samantha tells her that it will be more fun getting clean if they go out and get dirty sometimes. They sit at the bar, and the bartender comes over and sweet-talks Samantha for a bit and makes her and Sonia free drinks. Another guy comes over to Samantha and asks her what she's doing on Saturday. Sonia tells him they have plans, and he then asks Samantha for a "late run and slinks off. Sonia asks what a late run is, and Samantha tells her it doesnt translate. Its a hetero thing -- you wouldnt understand, Sonia. Samantha then asks what they have plans for on Saturday, because she already promised her girlfriends she would go out with them. Sonia asks if she can go too, and Samantha tells her she didnt think Sonia wanted to go since she likes to stay home. Before Samantha can dig a hole for herself any deeper, the bartender comes with the drinks and tells Samantha he gets off work at four. Sonia gives Samantha the stink-eye, and Samantha looks sheepish and drinks her drink.
Carrie tells us that, now that Trey had no problem getting hard in the bedroom, [Charlotte] saw no reason why their bed should be. Charlotte is waiting for Trey at a furniture store, and Bunny arrives. She tells Charlotte that when Trey told her that they were getting a new bed, she insisted on helping, and that she picked out the bed they have now. Charlotte tells her that she and Trey want a bigger bed that isnt as hard, and Bunny tells her, Im a firm believer in firm mattresses. Which totally reminds me of the time I was in high school and my parents went to buy themselves a new mattress for their bed and ended up also buying a new mattress for my bed, and my father is also a firm believer in firm mattresses, but when he says firm, he really means a rock slate with mattress material sewn around it. And the mattress was so hard that for the first week I had it, I slept on the floor, because my carpeting was softer than my mattress. I finally got that foam egg-crate stuff and put that on top of the mattress so it was tolerable, but I was never able to sleep very well on it. So anyway, Bunny sees the perfect dust ruffle and tells Charlotte how important the right dust ruffle is, and Charlotte explains to her how some of the new beds dont need dust ruffles, and shows her a more modern-looking bed. Bunny tells her, You cannot not have a dust ruffle. It is unsightly! and then sits on a bed that she likes. Trey appears, and Bunny tells him to lie down to her on the firm bed she picked out. He lies down to her and asks Charlotte to join them; Charlotte resists, but then lies down so that Trey is in the middle between her and Bunny. Trey tells them, This is heaven. And Charlotte gives him a look of disgust. She sits up, and when she tries to tell Trey that this whole situation is just wrong, he thinks she's talking about the firmness of the mattress. Trey tells her they'll go to look at softer mattresses, and Bunny reminds Trey to get a bed with a dust ruffle. Trey is all, Whatever you say, Mother. You know best, as he and Bunny are still lying in the bed together. Charlotte yet again has a look on her face like she cant believe she got herself into this bizarre situation. How many red flags have to be flying in Charlottes face for her to realize that she needs to get. Out. Now!