JD rubs Elliot's bare foot in the break room while Turk sits nearby, staring off into space. JD finishes and asks for the other foot (did he lose a bet?) and Elliot refuses vehemently, explaining that there's something wrong with her left foot, and the guys would be disgusted. They protest that they're doctors and they've seen everything, so Elliot reveals her giant bunion. JD and Turk make gagging noises; Elliot complains that Sean (Scott Foley) is coming back in a few weeks, and he'll be grossed out too. JD advises her to draw Sean's face on her bunion and tell him she grew the bunion because she missed him. Turk advises surgery. Elliot goes with Turk's suggestion, even though JD thinks they've "already decided on bunion face."
At the nurses' station, Carla asks Turk if he would mind if she kept her last name when they get married. Turk: "Of course not, baby. We'll just have one of those modern marriages where the husband and wife don't love each other." Hey! I kept my last name and today is actually my five-year anniversary of wedded bliss. And I'm doing a weecap. Hmm. Anyway, Carla wants to talk about it some more, but Turk takes off.
Cox and Jordan walk in, discussing what to do for Jack's first birthday party. Jordan has extravagant plans, and as you'd imagine, Cox thinks the whole thing sounds like his own personal hell. JD runs up and asks if he should bring his piñata helmet. Jordan tells him: "Zip it, nerd. The only reason I invited you is because, for some reason, you have your own Spongebob Squarepants costume." JD: "It was a gift." JD's internal monologue: "From me to me!" Jordan tells JD not to come to the party, because her whole family is in town. Underscoring the point, Danni (Tara Reid) walks up, leaving JD to wonder what to say to the girl he dumped three weeks earlier. JD settles on blurting out, "I destroyed that videotape we made." Cut to a video of Danni taking a golf swing and hitting JD in the crotch. JD thinks she isn't selling it enough, and that no one at America's Funniest Home Videos will think it's real. Danni just wants to go home and have sex, but JD says no. Back in reality, JD muses, "Now I'll never meet Bob Saget." Hasn't he guest-starred on this show yet? Because it seems like everyone else on God's green earth has.
Jordan and family stroll out to the parking lot as JD asks Cox if Ben's coming in too. Cox foreshadows that Ben will have to make a grand entrance, and then be depressed when no one is impressed. Just then, Ben drops down (from where?) and lands on the hood of a nearby car, causing JD to scream and fall into some bushes. Ben takes photos of JD as he writhes in pain and cries out, "The thorns!" Ben asks him to put his head at "a less jarring angle," and JD cries out, "I can't!" And...credits. I'm no Superman.
Back in the hospital, Ben admires his photo of JD, until JD swipes it and tries to rip it in half. But he can't, because he's too weak. Cox asks Ben, "So, you still doing the whole kooky-guy-who-brings-his-camera-everywhere thing?" Ben: "'Til the day I die." FORESHADOWING!
Cox gives us the backstory: "What's weird is that it's taken so long for my best friend to come and see my son. I mean, you get diagnosed with leukemia and then you disappear for two years? What is that about?" Ben says that once he was in remission, he wanted to go see the world. Cox says that while Ben was out on his "World Leukemia Tour," he neglected to visit even one "doctor, medicine man, or giant shaman with the scary saucers in his ears." Cox concludes, "PSSST! Ben! Turns out cancer's the kind of thing that you occasionally want to check up on." Ben agrees to get it looked at. Cox admits that he missed Ben, and Ben admits he missed Cox as well. They lean in for a kiss. Closer. Clooooser. And Cox pulls away laughing. Ben celebrates winning the game of Gay Chicken.
Carla and Turk wait to inspect Elliot's bunion, but she's reluctant to bare all, because she thinks that they will always think of her as "Giant Gross Foot." Didn't Turk already see it, though? Elliot says it's like the security guard with the hook for a hand, and whenever they look at him, all they can think about is...his giant afro. Carla: "Gasp! I do think that!" Turk advises her to think about doing this for Sean, because if had something he could fix for Carla, he would be excited to do it for her. Carla blurts out, "I hate your mole." Turk is shocked, because Carla called it her "tickle button," and made him shave his mustache. Carla says that was before she knew what was under there. Flashback to Turk shaving his mustache, and Carla recoiling in horror when Turk's animated mole says, "Oh! Damn! A brother finally can breathe! Hello dere!" You know, I was always bugged by Donald Faison's mole when he was on Felicity, but now I think he would look weird without it.
Ted is on the phone with someone, yelling that they're a worthless peon, and always will be. He hangs up and explains to Kelso that one of the members of his band, The Worthless Peons, the only member with hair, is trying to quit. Kelso says he doesn't care unless it involves his loved ones or his wife.
JD rolls in an old guy in a wheelchair, who asks if he should be worried about "the old ticker." JD tells him not to worry, but his interior monologue screams, "Oh my God! He's going to die!" Cox asks JD take Ben in for blood tests. JD says he's already covering for Doug, so he's swamped. He's also worried about the old dude in a wheelchair (Mr. Taylor), but Cox assures him the guy won't die in the thirty minutes.
Turk and Carla meet with a plastic surgeon to see about getting Turk's mole removed. The surgeon says that they can remove the mole and cover the area with skin removed from the back of Turk's upper thigh.
Cut to JD saying, "So you'll be a butt face." Elliot laughs at the potential nickname. JD's beeper goes off, and he says it's a code and takes off. Turk vows to get out of the mole removal, and Elliot responds, "Whatever, butt face."
In the cafeteria, Ted clams that he's one of Kelso's loved ones, so Kelso should care about his problem. Kelso: "Swing and a miss." Kelso moves to another table and ends up across from Carla, who wants to discuss Turk's mole and her guilt.
Cox walks back into the hospital. JD walks up, very serious, and Cox asks, "What's the matter with you, Shirley? You look like Maybelline just went belly-up." JD says, "Twenty minutes after you left. He went into cardiac arrest. We tried to resuscitate him, but there was nothing we could do. I'm sorry." Cox starts reviewing the chart. Ben pops up and says it's a bummer. JD voice-overs that guilt can lead to denial (note: the first stage of grief) and Cox says that JD screwed up. Ben reminds Cox that JD said he was swamped. Cox turns to face Ben and yells, "The kid screwed up!"
JD voice-overs that guilt can lead to compromise. Carla says she wishes there were something she could do for Turk in exchange for him getting rid of his mole for her. Just then, Turk and Elliott walk up, and Turk says that he's decided that he'll get rid of the mole as long as Carla takes his name when they get married. Carla seizes on that as the perfect solution, and agrees. Elliot watches Carla walk away, and says, "There she goes! Mrs. Carla Butt Face." They should have that put on the wedding favors.
JD voice-overs that, as a doctor, you're around death so much, you get used to the guilt and can keep it from affecting your personal relationships. Dr. Cox tells JD that he's taking over all of JD's patients. JD wonders if Dr. Cox thinks the death was JD's fault. Ben wants Dr. Cox to go easy on JD, but Cox, choked up, says that it was JD's fault, and orders him to get the hell out of the hospital.
Two Days Later. Cox is sleeping in a chair the lobby and a homeless guy (who looks a lot like Will Ferrell) holds a watch. He wakes Cox up at 9:00 AM on the dot, and Cox pays him. Carla fills in that Cox needs to go home after sixty straight hours of work, but Cox says he really needs people to stop telling him what he should do. So of course, Ben pops up and says, "You know what you should do?" Before he can continue, JD walks up, still very somber. Cox jokes that since he has taken over JD's patient load, none of them have died. JD says that he doesn't care if Cox is mad at him (not true), but Jordan called and wanted to make sure Cox was going to show up today (and we're supposed to think he's talking about Jack's birthday party). Cox says he's not leaving the hospital.
Turk sits in a gown and tells Elliot and JD that he doesn't want to have his mole removed. He adds, "But…" and JD yells out, "...Face! Butt Face!" Turk says that his butt is fabulous and putting a slice on his face would just spread the wealth. However, Turk feels like his mole is part of his identity, and he asks his friends to talk to Carla for him. JD tries to beg off by saying he's busy, until Elliot points out that Dr. Cox took all his patients. JD Fantasy: He's playing gin rummy with the hook-handed afro'd security guard, and losing. I went to elementary school with a kid who had a hook hand. It kind of freaked me out at the time, until he showed us how he could hang from the jungle gym by his hook. Then I was jealous. The security guard uses his hook to smoke a cigarette. Also useful. Anyway, JD tells his friends that he has to win his money back from the Afro guy, and Elliot agrees to talk to Carla.
Carla sits down for lunch with Ted and Kelso. She launches into an explanation of how her last name is her heritage. Kelso pretends like he's going to give her advice, but instead tells her that he doesn't care about anyone else's problems, which Ted can confirm.
Dr. Cox and Ben walk down the hall, as Ben tries to convince him to go to the party. Dr. Cox says he doesn't like to attend parties where the person being celebrated doesn't know what's going on. Ben reminds him of a party they attended for a senile old man, and they giggle. Dr. Cox says that he's responsible for keeping all of the people there alive. Ben mocks him and says he should let one of the other doctors handle his patients for a few hours. Dr. Cox: "So you haven't noticed that my supporting cast in this theater of hell is a veritable who's who of incompetent puppets?" Elliot runs up and explains that she's looking for Carla, replete with lots of hand gestures. Ben, sitting behind her, pretends to manipulate strings like a puppet master, causing Cox to giggle. When Elliot runs off, Ben pretends that the strings pulled him off the counter he was sitting on, and Cox cheers his "outstanding commitment." Ben wants to go, and Cox finally agrees to go if Ben will leave him alone. Ben says that before they leave, Cox needs to forgive JD. They walk into the locker room where JD has just come out of the shower. He drops his towel...and he's wearing swimming trunks. JD: "What? They're my shower shorts!"
Janitor helps Elliot look for Carla. They walk right by her, hanging out in the med room, crying. Kelso walks in, and Carla apologizes, saying it's been an emotional couple of days. Is she that emotional about the Turk mole issue? IS SHE? Kelso tries to make a quick exit, but realizes he needs to do this, so he explains how his wife was a terrible snorer, and he even made her have surgery, which didn't help. But now when his wife goes out of town, he can't fall asleep without the snoring. The point? "You might find out that the thing you hate so much is the very same thing you miss when it's gone." Carla thanks Kelso.
Turk is getting his pre-op exam by the plastic surgeon, and offers him ten thousand dollars to tell Carla the mole is inoperable. Carla rushes in and says she doesn't want him to do this. Turk rips off his blood pressure cuff and runs out. The surgeon is pissed that he doesn't get to do the surgery, so Elliot whips off her shoe and shows him her bunion. The nurse faints.
Cox is still stunned at JD's shower shorts, but is finally able to get to the heart of the matter: "I just wanted to say what happened? It wasn't your fault." JD says he needed to hear that, and Ben claps his hands and says they can go. Cox has to ask one last time: "Shower shorts?" JD proudly recites, "For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to."
JD voice-overs, "Acceptance can take a lot of different forms, whether it's accepting that it's okay to show your soft side every once in a while..." Kelso puts on a tie and tells Ted that he thinks the band is better off without the guy who quit.
JD VO: "Or accepting someone you love, just the way they are." Carla helps Turk put on a tie, but she can't stop looking at his mole. So she gives it a big kiss, to Turk's delight.
Cox, in a suit, walks down a path with Ben, who has one more favor to ask: "You have to forgive yourself for what went down the other day." Cox chuckles, but says he will. He wonders where Ben's camera is. Hey, remember how Ben said he would take pictures until the day he died? Yeah. JD, also wearing a suit, walks up and asks what Cox is talking about with the camera thing. Cox explains that he thought they would want pictures of "crying babies covered in chocolate, people singing 'Happy Birthday' to [Jack] who've never even met him before, you know, the whole routine." JD: "Where do you think we are?" Cox looks back at Ben, who is suddenly not there. "Winter" by Joshua Radin plays softly in the background as Dr. Cox turns and walks into the cemetery to attend Ben's funeral service. His what? Yeah, he's the one who died, not the old patient with the heart problem. Just like Sixth Sense, it's so obvious in retrospect, but quite jarring on first viewing.
JD and Dr. Cox sit to the grave. They're soon joined by Jordan and Danni, as well as the rest of the hospital staff. JD VO: "But in the end, the most important thing to accept, is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you'll get through this too." Jordan puts her arm around Perry, who is sobbing. JD puts a hand on Perry's shoulder, and we close on a tight shot of Perry's red-eyed, tear-soaked face.