By Daniel
It's meltdown time at the ex-boyfriend's place, as a shocked Samantha looks through old credit-card statements and finds out she owes $30,000 on her plastic. Yeah, but that's only like $29,500 Canadian (how do you like it, America? HOW DO YOU LIKE IT!). She spent it all on makeup, nails and shoes. She wanders into her walk-in closet and wonders if she was actually hoarding shoes. "Was the country converting to some sort of shoe-based currency?" Heh. She decides to return the shoes, pay off her bills, and help the dwarves. So where are the receipts, she asks Todd. "In the matching purses," he says, and a frustrated Kate collapses. Now, isn't that a good thing? More to return, more money for bills?
Back from commercials, Samantha, who is rapidly losing her shit, bitches about how her past self is reaching into the future to screw her future self. Todd is very nervous about sitting down on the bed to her, but that's only because of her potentially violent instability. "It's so unfair!" she yells. What is, exactly, asks Todd. "That I have to work so I can pay my bills, so I can make money!" she screams, and maybe she shouldn't be annoyed with her dad for explaining what a kitchen's for when she apparently forgot what a freakin' job is for. Realizing how foolish she sounds, she calms down somewhat, enough for Todd to ask her about who these dwarves are. Then he jokes that the "boob job's out of the question," and he gets a thrown shoe for his trouble, but also a smile.
Samantha's moved from "boob job" to "quit job" to "improve job," and the only plan she has when she meets with Chapman is, basically, "Instead of getting rid of the church, how about we don't get rid of the church?" She tries to shore it up by claiming to be inspired by a motivational speaker in rehab. "Not sure I follow," he says. "What we start to do is get the name 'Chapman And Funk' associated with..." she says, and he finishes: "...the poor." "Yes, helping the poor!" she says. "No, being poor," he says, and asks her if she's lost her mind. "This rehab of yours, I do not know what they took out of your system, but right now I want you to stand up, I want you to go back there, and I want you to pay whatever it takes to just shove that crap right back in your mouth." He leans back in his chair, satisfied. "Good meeting."
Outside, Andrea wants to know how the meeting went. "He's an ass," snaps Sam, and Andrea advises her to play him a little. Smile, open a button, that kind of thing. Sam is shocked Andrea would suggest that. Really? Still with the shocked? Then she flashes back to pre-coma Sam, stomping through the office and all over her assistant before finding a nemesis co-worker in her office. "You didn't hear? I got [something] Sternwood properties," and an outraged Sam tries to call dibs on the properties, but is distracted by her co-worker's apparently recently enhanced chest. "You did not. Chapman did not fall for a move that cheap," she says. No, can't imagine it, not from Chapman. "Whose idea do you think these were?" says the co-worker evenly. Sam angrily takes a bite of her apple, and then glances down dejectedly at her own chest.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7