|
3-18 2002.05.14 |
Actually, it was pretty stupid Michael and Maria refer to this show as stupid, taking the final word from the critics who have been spray-painting that word on the side of Roswell's Paramount soundstage for three freaking years already. |
| 3-18 Recap |
Actually, it was pretty stupid
Graduation - Michael and Maria refer to this show as stupid, taking the final word from the critics who have been spray-painting that word on the side of Roswell's Paramount soundstage for three freaking years already. |
2002.05.14 2002.05.20 |
C- |
Djb |
| 3-17 Recap |
Countdown to Ecstasy III: Rise of the Machines
Four Aliens and a Baby - One left, people. Episode, that is. And also viewer. |
2002.05.07 2002.05.09 |
C+ |
Djb |
| 3-16 Recap |
Countdown to Ecstasy II: Nearly-Cancelled Boogaloo
Crash - Two left, people. Episodes, that is. And also viewers. |
2002.04.30 2002.05.06 |
C+ |
Djb |
| 3-15 Recap |
Countdown to Ecstasy
Who Died And Made You King - Three left, people. Episodes, that is. And also viewers. |
2002.04.23 2002.04.30 |
C- |
Djb |
| 3-14 Recap |
Shut up...mon
Chant Down Babylon - Roswell takes almost forty-five full minutes to finally explain why it was digging up Bob Marley for the previous forty-five minutes. |
2002.02.26 2002.03.01 |
C- |
Djb |
| 3-13 Recap |
Death Becomes Them
Panacea - All of them, really. The cast is prettied up considerably when one of its regulars and one of its extras die in an untimely fashion. Also, Maria shoots her music career pretty much right in the face, which also makes things prettier. |
2002.02.12 2002.02.18 |
C |
Djb |
| 3-12 Recap |
Cr-cr-crappy
Ch-ch-changes - Wait. What? |
2002.02.05 2002.02.10 |
D |
Djb |
| 3-11 Recap |
I Wonder Tangentially About Jeannie
I Married An Alien - Because "Blast From The Ass" wouldn't have made it as the title of the index page blurb, now, would it? |
2002.01.29 2002.02.03 |
B- |
Djb |
| 3-10 Recap |
Hang, over
A Tale of Two Parties - A secret party doesn't stay secret enough. |
2002.01.01 2002.01.04 |
C- |
Djb |
| 3-9 Recap |
There's Something About Sammy
Samuel Rising - What'd you say? Oh. Nothing. Never mind. |
2001.12.18 2001.12.22 |
D |
Djb |
| 3-8 Recap |
Her boyfriend's back and he's gonna be in trouble
Behind the Music - Hey-blah, hey-blah, her boyfriend's back. |
2001.11.27 2001.12.01 |
B- |
Djb |
| 3-7 Recap |
Too many khooks in the khitchen
Interruptus - Khivar goes by many names in this episode. Call him what you like, but don't call him late for a field trip back to the Planet Arium. Don't worry about him, though. He's brought his own ride with him and everything. |
2001.11.20 2001.11.21 |
C- |
Djb |
| 3-6 Recap |
It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished 'em well
To Have And To Hold - Actually, the old folks didn't wish them anything. Nobody wanted to go. Nobody cared. Don't we know just exactly how they felt? |
2001.11.13 2001.11.18 |
C+ |
Djb |
| 3-5 Recap |
Out of control
Control - Roswell continues its slide down the slippery slope of quality as Max's quest for his son sputters to a halt, Isabel barrels ahead with her wedding plans, and everyone else wonders what the hell those two wacky alien siblings are doing. |
2001.11.06 2001.11.13 |
D |
Chuck |
| 3-4 Recap |
L.A. Story
Secrets & Lies - Aliens act badly (hell, everyone acts badly) as Roswell goes totally Hollywood and repels yet another first-time viewer. |
2001.10.30 2001.11.03 |
C- |
Chuck |
| 3-3 Recap |
Roswell 101
Significant Others - Pamie tries to figure out the entire history of this show from only one episode. It's that easy! |
2001.10.23 2001.10.28 |
B- |
Pamie |
| 3-2 Recap |
The best stuff is just so not in here
Michael, The Guys, And The Great Snapple Caper - ANYBODY WANT A SNAPPLE? ANYBODY? ANYBODY? HUH? Mmmmmm...SNAPPLE!!! |
2001.10.17 2001.10.21 |
C- |
Djb |
| 3-1 Recap |
Bring 'Em Young
Busted - If you thought New Mexico sucked, ladies and gentlemen...Utah. |
2001.10.09 2001.10.14 |
C- |
Djb |
| 2-21 Recap |
Departure...as if
Departure - Wait a sec. This is what a SHORTENED season feels like? |
2001.05.21 2001.05.26 |
C+ |
Djb |
| 2-20 Recap |
Off. The fricking. Map.
Off The Menu - These people need to DIE. The preternatural level of patience djb has displayed in dealing with this passel of halfwits and nimrods and morons for two seasons qualifies him for sainthood. Or at the very least beatification. I don't care if he's Jewish. And alive. I'm forwarding the paperwork to the Vatican now. |
2001.05.14 2001.05.21 |
D |
Demian |
| 2-19 Recap |
Baby, It's Poo
Baby, It's You - When Max goes sad and Tess goes pregnant, even a harmless round of hijinks with Kyle and Isabel can't help but sink helplessly underfoot. And stick to the floor. And dreamwalk porn. And...oh, never mind. |
2001.05.07 2001.05.12 |
B- |
Djb |
| 2-18 Recap |
The real heroes are the dorks
It's Too Late And It's Too Bad - Sure, WB-sanctioned "pretty girl" Liz Parker might be putting in the hours searching for Alex's alien killers, but the good people of AP Computers and the yearbook staff are the ones who keep the action moving. I guess you have lots of time to consider conspiracy theories and binary equations when you're waiting to be picked for dodge ball, and you're picked last. Dorks. God bless their Time Bandits-lovin' ways. |
2001.04.30 2001.05.03 |
B- |
Djb |
| 2-17 Recap |
For Sale, One Farm
Cry Your Name - Oops. Someone just bought it. Sorry. Later, L'il Hanks. |
2001.04.23 2001.04.27 |
C- |
Djb |
| 2-16 Recap |
Ros-what
Heart of Mine - It's back and it's bad. And I'm scared, too. |
2001.04.16 2001.04.17 |
C- |
Djb |
| 2-15 Recap |
The Real World, Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas - This is the true story of eight high school students, picked to live in a Honeymoon Suite and sing, fight, and gamble in a fake casino while having their lives taped -- to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start being…zzzzz. |
2001.02.26 2001.02.28 |
C+ |
Djb |
| Extra |
Party over, whoops, out of time
Go - So it goes without saying they're going to party like it's 1999. In Go. Starring some guy who's been on Roswell, like, four times. Was this recap just an excuse for me to watch Scott Wolf in his underwear? Have you people been reading my diary again? |
1999.04.09 2001.04.09 |
A |
Djb |
| Extra |
Oh, Shiri
Well They Were Just Seventeen - You should've been gone/Knowing how I made you feel/And I should've been gone/After all your words of steel/Oh I must've been a dreamer/And I must've been someone else/And we should've been over. Oh, Shiri. Heh. "Dreamer." That's actually in the song. |
2001.02.14 2001.02.14 |
C- |
Djb |
| 2-14 Recap |
Crystal gale
How The Other Half Lives - The Gandarium crystals rear their ugly, organic bad sides in trapping Kyle and Alex underground, making Isabel take rides from strangers, and causing Mel Glibson to lose his mind and dress up like a queen. |
2001.02.19 2001.02.23 |
C+ |
Djb |
| 2-13 Recap |
Almost Shameless
Disturbing Behavior - But, see, almost good, too. Some turgid plot development inside the UFO Center is nearly offset by some pretty funny Maria/Michael bantering, and a very special guest director appearance by Cameron Crowe makes us all glad Oscar season is here again. It's good and bad. Yin and yang. It's confusing to watch and probably more confusing to read about. Hey. You guys? Good luck with that. |
2001.02.05 2001.02.07 |
B- |
Djb |
| 2-12 Recap |
Box Step
We Are Family - Turns out, there's a girl in a box. As Amy DeLucawitz might observe, "So, nu?" Too bad she's got Porno's tongue down her throat, so she can't speak at all. Too damn bad for all of us in the world. |
2001.01.29 2001.01.31 |
C |
Djb |