Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Double Your Displeasure
By M. Giant | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 08.07.2006
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Tuesday
Things get off to a rocky start when every single person except Dilana is too wussy to want to sing "Won't Get Fooled Again" with Gilby on guitar. And that's after Dave told them last week that every one of them should have wanted to play with Tommy. Anyway, Dilana's rendition of the song is her usual perplexing combination of compelling stage presence and overwrought screeching. Jill performs Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother," doing her usual thing and totally unaware that it's very hard to be a bad-ass in bike shorts. Ryan Star wears one of the most unintentionally hilarious get-ups I have ever seen (the wig goes INSIDE the hood, son) before launching into "Paint It, Black" with overly literal black paint on his face. Good thing he didn't sing "Honky Tonk Women," because I'm not sure I needed to see him decked out like a truck-stop waitress. The band thinks he's awesome, because subtlety is not their forte. Storm is overmatched by "We Are The Champions," and has a surprising number of rather jarring pitch problems for a girl who has seemed to be a pretty good singer. Jason wigs out over a two-bar break where the band cuts out, which makes him think the "arrangement" -- otherwise note-for-note Queen, pretty much -- was awesome. Of course, Zayra is the train wreck of the week, using the fact that she's singing "All The Young Dudes" as an excuse to wear a top hat and skintight gold lame from shoulder to shoes. Her weird outfit, however, is completely obliterated by the deep and abiding badness of her singing during the chorus. Truly, she gets through the verses, but whatever is going on with her head voice and the band during the chorus is...not what should be happening. Maybe she should have just mouthed along during that part. Dave Navarro thinks that she's from Pluto. Tommy Lee joins Josh and his guitar for "Interstate Love Song," during which Josh sounds very much like himself. He's totally not going to be in this band, but he'd be great for some band. Magni loves his headphone-wearing baby so much that he has to be all acoustic with "The Dolphin's Cry." For a guy who sucked early, he's improved a lot, but I hate this song, starting with the title, which sounds like a documentary they would have shown when I was at Oberlin. I do not like Patrice Pike's "Instant Karma" at all, and side ponytails are not rock & roll, especially on a rocker of a certain age. She also grins creepily through the entire thing. I don't get it, but the band is tepidly pleasant. I have to tell you, Lukas completely freaks my shit right out, and the fact that he's singing "Creep" does nothing to lessen the effect. I don't think the plan for Supernova is to be Radiohead, exactly. Pretty Toby introduces a megaphone to his rendition of "Burning Down The House," which is just as much of a gimmick as Dave tells him it is, but he still was good. He also looks hot in the jacket-tie-and-jeans thing, not that he doesn't know this will work on nerds like me.
Wednesday
It's like two episodes for the price of one! After the Supernovices (a) receive Gibson guitars as gifts; (b) argue with each other over the wisdom of playing with Supernova members; and (c) learn that tonight's survivors are going to Vegas with the band, two -- count 'em, two encores are awarded. The first is Lukas, who does Radiohead's "Creep" much as he did last night. The second is Magni, who does his Live song completely differently from last night, i.e. with the full House Band backing him. Lots of familiar names in the bottom five: Zayra, Jill, Patrice, Ryan, and Josh. Zayra's safe again, and Jill makes her third trip to the bottom three, where she belts out an allegedly rocked-out version of "Respect." Yes, that one. Josh also returns to the bottom three, and responds to the criticism about strapping himself to a guitar by...strapping himself to a guitar. Looks like that present from Gibson is something of a double-edged axe for him. Filling out the bottom three is Ryan, who responds with an inarguably rocked-out if oxymoronic version of Depeche Mode's "Enjoy The Silence." It saves him for this week. So between Josh and Jill, which one is going home instead of to Vegas? Both of them. One less recap for me to write, looks like. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Tuesday
As part of her introduction to tonight's show, Brooke asks, "How do you fit ten great rock anthems into just one electrifying hour? Well, you don't mess around." Also, you slash them down to two minutes and thus drain them of almost any anthemic qualities, as we shall see quite shortly. But first, Brooke introduces the Supernovices, Supernova, and Dave, as usual. Then she throws us right into this week's Mansion footage, saying it's been "an emotional week for Magni." The Iceman? How can that be?
Mansion. Everyone's hanging out in the courtyard as Brooke voiceovers that Magni got "a special delivery from Iceland." He gets up from the table and runs over to where his wife/girlfriend has just arrived on the premises and is carrying their quite adorable baby over. Nice of Magni to pick them up at the airport -- not. The other Supernovices get up and applaud the little reunion, which I still can't believe they didn't blindside Magni with onstage last week. Magni interviews that this is the best thing that's happened to him in the past five weeks. The kid's got visibly more teeth, hair, and height than the last time Magni saw him. And of course more hair than Magni himself. I can't even imagine my kid growing that much in my absence. That would suck even worse than being bald. Ryan asks the kid how the airplane was, and is answered with a cute preverbal grunt. The Supernovices laugh. Toby interviews that this is great motivation for Magni, who is, after all, doing this for his family. Which suggests to me that fronting a top ten rock band in Iceland doesn't pay as well as I might of thought. Maybe not even much better than fronting one of the other four.
Elsewhere around the Mansion, we see other Supernovices prepping for the performance show: Ryan tunes, Jill strums, Toby writes, Storm jogs, Patrice practices, and Zayra sits in the garden, probably sketching her next outfit. Yeah, about that. Zayra explains in an interview that the crazy outfits are for no one but Zayra: "I want to wow myself. And if people get wowed by it, perfect." If by "wow" she means "humiliate." Meanwhile, Lukas is committed to digging himself out of his Hole from last week. We see him practicing Radiohead's "Creep" and accompanying himself on electric guitar in a music room. He interviews that he plans to show a different side of his voice: "This week, it's on, baby." By which he of course means, "If I don't get the encore, I'ma jump up and choke a bitch."