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Tuesday
Things get off to a rocky start when every single person except Dilana is too wussy to want to sing "Won't Get Fooled Again" with Gilby on guitar. And that's after Dave told them last week that every one of them should have wanted to play with Tommy. Anyway, Dilana's rendition of the song is her usual perplexing combination of compelling stage presence and overwrought screeching. Jill performs Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother," doing her usual thing and totally unaware that it's very hard to be a bad-ass in bike shorts. Ryan Star wears one of the most unintentionally hilarious get-ups I have ever seen (the wig goes INSIDE the hood, son) before launching into "Paint It, Black" with overly literal black paint on his face. Good thing he didn't sing "Honky Tonk Women," because I'm not sure I needed to see him decked out like a truck-stop waitress. The band thinks he's awesome, because subtlety is not their forte. Storm is overmatched by "We Are The Champions," and has a surprising number of rather jarring pitch problems for a girl who has seemed to be a pretty good singer. Jason wigs out over a two-bar break where the band cuts out, which makes him think the "arrangement" -- otherwise note-for-note Queen, pretty much -- was awesome. Of course, Zayra is the train wreck of the week, using the fact that she's singing "All The Young Dudes" as an excuse to wear a top hat and skintight gold lame from shoulder to shoes. Her weird outfit, however, is completely obliterated by the deep and abiding badness of her singing during the chorus. Truly, she gets through the verses, but whatever is going on with her head voice and the band during the chorus is...not what should be happening. Maybe she should have just mouthed along during that part. Dave Navarro thinks that she's from Pluto. Tommy Lee joins Josh and his guitar for "Interstate Love Song," during which Josh sounds very much like himself. He's totally not going to be in this band, but he'd be great for some band. Magni loves his headphone-wearing baby so much that he has to be all acoustic with "The Dolphin's Cry." For a guy who sucked early, he's improved a lot, but I hate this song, starting with the title, which sounds like a documentary they would have shown when I was at Oberlin. I do not like Patrice Pike's "Instant Karma" at all, and side ponytails are not rock & roll, especially on a rocker of a certain age. She also grins creepily through the entire thing. I don't get it, but the band is tepidly pleasant. I have to tell you, Lukas completely freaks my shit right out, and the fact that he's singing "Creep" does nothing to lessen the effect. I don't think the plan for Supernova is to be Radiohead, exactly. Pretty Toby introduces a megaphone to his rendition of "Burning Down The House," which is just as much of a gimmick as Dave tells him it is, but he still was good. He also looks hot in the jacket-tie-and-jeans thing, not that he doesn't know this will work on nerds like me.
Wednesday
It's like two episodes for the price of one! After the Supernovices (a) receive Gibson guitars as gifts; (b) argue with each other over the wisdom of playing with Supernova members; and (c) learn that tonight's survivors are going to Vegas with the band, two -- count 'em, two encores are awarded. The first is Lukas, who does Radiohead's "Creep" much as he did last night. The second is Magni, who does his Live song completely differently from last night, i.e. with the full House Band backing him. Lots of familiar names in the bottom five: Zayra, Jill, Patrice, Ryan, and Josh. Zayra's safe again, and Jill makes her third trip to the bottom three, where she belts out an allegedly rocked-out version of "Respect." Yes, that one. Josh also returns to the bottom three, and responds to the criticism about strapping himself to a guitar by...strapping himself to a guitar. Looks like that present from Gibson is something of a double-edged axe for him. Filling out the bottom three is Ryan, who responds with an inarguably rocked-out if oxymoronic version of Depeche Mode's "Enjoy The Silence." It saves him for this week. So between Josh and Jill, which one is going home instead of to Vegas? Both of them. One less recap for me to write, looks like. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Tuesday
As part of her introduction to tonight's show, Brooke asks, "How do you fit ten great rock anthems into just one electrifying hour? Well, you don't mess around." Also, you slash them down to two minutes and thus drain them of almost any anthemic qualities, as we shall see quite shortly. But first, Brooke introduces the Supernovices, Supernova, and Dave, as usual. Then she throws us right into this week's Mansion footage, saying it's been "an emotional week for Magni." The Iceman? How can that be?
Mansion. Everyone's hanging out in the courtyard as Brooke voiceovers that Magni got "a special delivery from Iceland." He gets up from the table and runs over to where his wife/girlfriend has just arrived on the premises and is carrying their quite adorable baby over. Nice of Magni to pick them up at the airport -- not. The other Supernovices get up and applaud the little reunion, which I still can't believe they didn't blindside Magni with onstage last week. Magni interviews that this is the best thing that's happened to him in the past five weeks. The kid's got visibly more teeth, hair, and height than the last time Magni saw him. And of course more hair than Magni himself. I can't even imagine my kid growing that much in my absence. That would suck even worse than being bald. Ryan asks the kid how the airplane was, and is answered with a cute preverbal grunt. The Supernovices laugh. Toby interviews that this is great motivation for Magni, who is, after all, doing this for his family. Which suggests to me that fronting a top ten rock band in Iceland doesn't pay as well as I might of thought. Maybe not even much better than fronting one of the other four.
Elsewhere around the Mansion, we see other Supernovices prepping for the performance show: Ryan tunes, Jill strums, Toby writes, Storm jogs, Patrice practices, and Zayra sits in the garden, probably sketching her outfit. Yeah, about that. Zayra explains in an interview that the crazy outfits are for no one but Zayra: "I want to wow myself. And if people get wowed by it, perfect." If by "wow" she means "humiliate." Meanwhile, Lukas is committed to digging himself out of his Hole from last week. We see him practicing Radiohead's "Creep" and accompanying himself on electric guitar in a music room. He interviews that he plans to show a different side of his voice: "This week, it's on, baby." By which he of course means, "If I don't get the encore, I'ma jump up and choke a bitch."
Then it's song selection time, with everyone gathered around the table. Dilana holds up the sheet music for "Won't Get Fooled Again" by the Who, which happens to be accompanied by a photo of Gilby from immediately after his performance with Jill, his arms spread wide. "Who Wants Me?" the caption reads. And it's looking like nobody but Dilana does. Toby interviews that he was initially going to go for it, but had second thoughts after what happened to Patrice last week. Dilana expresses amazement that nobody fought her for the song, and we see that that's pretty much what happened. All the other Supernovices were avoiding each other's eyes and everything. Josh, who's becoming quite the expert Supernova-dodger, interviews, "Is it necessarily a good thing to always jump on these songs?" I guess you'll never know. By way of preparation, Dilana stars in her own little phone-music-video-message-downloading commercial, which climaxes with a little video from Gilby in which he congratulates her on getting the song and tells her he looks forward to jamming with her. Almost as much as he looks forward to cashing that big fat check from Verizon.
Back in the auditorium, Brooke asks Dave what he thinks about what we just saw. Dave is quite unimpressed. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?" he demands. He can't believe that nobody wanted to play with Gilby except Dilana. "If it were up to me -- and you guys are lucky it's not -- if it were up to me, Dilana would win this thing right now." Dave, some of us declared Dilana the winner five weeks ago. Try to keep up. "I want to see Dilana and Gilby rock it right now," Dave says. Gilby and Dilana both stand, shedding their jackets, and head over to meet onstage amid a wildly cheering audience.
Brooke introduces Dilana with Gilby Clarke on guitar. The lights go down, except for a spot on Gilby and his guitar, and a few blue lights angling around in a pale imitation of the laser light show on this song in The Kids Are Alright. In an interesting choice, Gilby's playing the synth opening on his guitar, holding stock still in concentration instead of doing the fun part, which is the big, slashing power chords. The guitar has a camera affixed to its head, pointing along the strings so we'll be able to get an extreme close up on his playing. Dilana just glares at the audience, waiting for her entrance. The song's a little slower than usual, which, hey, if you're stuffing a seven-and-a-half-minute song into two minutes, why not take your time? The House Band crashes in and the lights come up. When Dilana starts singing, she hangs back at first, letting Gilby keep the focus. They share the microphone stand on the prechorus, with Gilby singing the higher Townshend part. And just like that, the focus transfers to Dilana (even though she accidentally comes in early on the "Won't get fooled again" line and has to recover quickly). She works the runway, singing in that crazy high register of hers, and there's a short guitar bit. She points to Gilby while singing "Meet the new boss," and then wails clear through the song's sledgehammer ending. Gilby takes position directly behind her for a guitar-hero pose, which is probably the greatest endorsement he could give. They hug, and Gilby makes his way back to the judges' dais. And I know it's probably tough to gauge how loud the crowd actually is on TV, but just judging from the timbre of the racket the audience is making right now, this seems as loud as they've ever been.
Dave tells Dilana, "That didn't look like an audition." He lets her sweat that for a minute, as he does to her every once in a while, then adds, "It looked like a rock show." A very short rock show, with a very short rock star, but still. Dave tells the other Supernovices that it could have been one of them up there. "As if it didn't suck enough to follow Dilana before, now you gotta follow Dilana with Gilby Clarke." Tommy asks how it was playing with Gilby, and Dilana says that's one of the main reasons she picked the song. "I wanna turn around one day and say, 'I played with Gilby Clarke. Oh, he used to play with Guns N' Roses, I think." Except she leaves out the last part. Gilby's critique is brief. "You're a star. After that, I have no doubt that a woman can front our band." Dilana looks thrilled. Reaction shots of Zayra and Patrice, who will not be fronting Supernova, and Storm, who probably won't either. Jason says that this can be added to the "Rock Star: Supernova killer moments list." There's a list? Oh, shit, was I supposed to be keeping track of that? Sorry, dude. Maybe season.
Brooke reminds us of the "major heat" Jill has taken for her "creative choices." By which she means "dumb decisions." Tonight Jill's singing "Mother Mother" by Traci Bonham, and she starts out sitting on the floor at the end of the runway with the mic in one hand and one of those little percussion shaker thingies in the other. She's kept the black stripes in her hair, which have also spread to her eye area tonight. And she's wearing black bike shorts and boots under her black biker jacket. The only person I've ever seen dressed like that is Corin Nemec in The Stand, which I'm almost certain is not what Jill was going for. After the first verse she tosses the shaker behind her, gets up, and starts dancing around while singing. It's a pretty faithful version, except that where Bonham screamed the "everything's fine" line, Jill's holding back. Which she kind of has to after all the grief she's gotten about her screaming in the past. Also, all the bopping around is kind of getting her out of breath, and her vocal performance suffers as a result. On the last chorus she screams "everything's fine!" in full voice, leaping right off the stage on the second one. No stage dive; she goes boots-first, into a crowd that has obligingly parted for her. This catches Dave and Gilby unawares; Dave points and goes, "Whoa!" while Gilby's head jerks around to see what he's missing. Jill sings the last line directly into the audience-cam. You know what would have made that performance perfect? If Jill had stepped on the shaker thingy she'd tossed and went ass over teakettle. "Everything's FII-aah-UCK!"
Once Jill's back onstage (which, they don't show how she swung that, it being at her shoulder-level and all), Dave makes a crack that's in pretty poor taste. He compares Jill to Carmela Soprano, and "I'm afraid to say anything because I might get whacked." Wow, that's kind of offensive. Does Dave not know that many Italian-Americans or something? Because obviously, Jill is Meadow. Tommy says that it was one of his favorite performances from Jill, and calls it "killer." Jason appreciated Jill's physical performance, but makes the point that it was at the cost of her vocal power. He tells her to keep them "integrated." Dave thanks Jill, and she promises to "keep all that up here," pointing to her head. Which is going to get crowded. Brooke gives Dilana's and Jill's numbers before sending us to commercial.
During which I have time to reflect that the time I road-trip all the way to New Mexico or whatever, it won't be to eat at fucking Applebee's.
Coming back, Brooke claims that people are still talking about Ryan's performance from last week, which makes me glad I don't talk to many people. He's doing the Stones' "Paint it, Black" tonight. And then Brooke gets all mysterious, saying, "Somewhere in this theater is Ryan Star." The lights get dark and dramatic and the House Band goes into a trippy version of the intro. Ryan wanders through the audience and comes up onstage via the runway steps, "oooh"-ing in falsetto. Then we see that he's wearing all black, with a tight, hooded sweatshirt that has a plume of black hair attached to the top. It looks completely ricockulous. But it's about to get worse, because when the lights come up and the band kicks in, he throws back to the hood to reveal a Lone Ranger mask inexpertly painted on his eyes with a black crayon. At least he's done something cool with the song: he starts right in where the original ends, with all the yelling. Tommy blinks in confused embarrassment for Ryan. Who is now into the song proper, dancing around in what now looks like a mime outfit with a dead crow stuffed into the back of the collar. My appreciation for his voice continues to grow, which is why it's kind of too bad that the judges are cackling at him. He does some more leaping and running around in that forced way he has, even managing to be heard at one point despite not having the microphone anywhere near his mouth. He forgets that the phrase "black as coal" appears anywhere in the song, and finishes up staring straight into the camera, his expression considerably more serious than his appearance. Touch his monkey. Touch it!
Dave smirks at Ryan, even briefly covering his mouth to conceal a guffaw. "Dude, what the hell happened to you...that was unbelievable, dude." Amazingly, he means it in a good way, and calls Ryan "a contender." I kind of think that Dave is actually fucking with him. Tommy carefully calls it "...interesting," but with a lot more ellipses in front of it. I'm interested in what Tommy actually thinks, but I'm not going to find out because Dave overrules him: "Dude, that was the shit and you know it!" Tommy either gives up or decides to play along. Gilby also doesn't know what happened to Ryan, but says that his vocals have been great the past few weeks. Tommy says he knows exactly what happened: "He got laid after that last performance." Raucous cheers. Jason says something about tips of icebergs, and tells Ryan to keep doing different stuff. Ryan seriously thanks them, or as seriously as one can do anything while looking like an extra from Mystery Men.
Storm's wearing a "Got Balls?" t-shirt, which is an appropriate choice given that she's singing "We Are the Champions" by Queen. At center stage, she spreads her hands for quiet, then starts in softly. So softly, in fact, that I suspect her mic isn't on at first. But then it comes on and she's flat, so maybe that was a good thing. She eventually recovers and sings it straight, playing to the waving arms in the audience. The band drops out for a couple of measures between choruses, but other than that it's pretty faithful to the original. And for the second week in a row, Storm finishes up without having done anything insane.
Dave tells Storm that she did Freddie Mercury justice, and that it was a good song to show her range. Jason dug the arrangement, and says that "even Queen would have stamped their approval on it." Considering they also stamped their approval on the stage musical We Will Rock You that may not be as much of a compliment as Jason intends. Tommy tells Storm that he hopes they didn't "spook" her, and they still hope to see her going bananas. "Oh, I'll spank the crap out of you again for sure," Storm assures them, then gives a big, crazy drag-queen laugh that lasts all the way into Brooke's voting spiel. I hope there was something funnier there that simply got cut in the editing, because that kind of makes her look like a dork.
Sitting in the Nut Gallery, Brooke tries to tell us that every week the world has two questions: "What's the weather like?" and "What will Zayra be wearing ?" Actually, I think that second one may have been a misinterpretation of the actual question, which of course is "Why the hell isn't she gone yet?" Brooke tells us that Zayra's going to sing "David Bowie's 'All the Young Dudes'", and that Magni is playing guitar for some reason. So then Zayra comes out in this full-length, gold lamé bodysuit, worn with platform, spike-heeled boots and a gigantic top hat. I don't know. It's like Clockwork Orange meets Cabaret meets Goldfinger meets something so fucking stupid I can't even think of it right now. Jason gives the outfit a standing ovation. Shut up, Jason. I'm beginning to see Metallica's point. As for the now totally irrelevant musical side, it's not as horrible as Zayra usually is. She hasn't completely twisted the song beyond all recognition, for one thing, and she even hits a good half of the notes she aims for. On the other hand, it's not as good as anyone else on this show. I don't know what to tell you. Every time she comes on, I feel like I'm recapping a seventh inning stretch or something.
Dave tells Zayra she'd be a shoo-in on Rock Star: Planet Pluto. Gilby calls out, "Z!" I'm quickly disappointed to learn that he's simply shortened her name in an effort to stop mispronouncing it, and is not, as I first thought, bestowing a letter grade. Gilby tells her he appreciates the showmanship, but tells her to watch her keys. Which is kind of generous of him, actually. In order to "watch" a key, she would first have to "find" a key, and then "choose" a key. Tommy tells her that "confidence is a good thing, and we can tell that you have that." Zayra turns around in that suit that makes her look like a naked robot as the rest of us reflect on the fine line between "confidence" and "delusion." Jason asks if she wowed herself. Zayra says she did. "This is the biggest chance in my life...I'm all out, baby." You said it, Zayra. This is no place for taste. Dave makes a "wrap it up" motion and thanks Zayra.
Brooke's still positioned in the Nut Gallery (oblivious to the fact that Lukas is right to her staring at her legs) when she introduces Josh. Brooke says that "like a true rock star, he's refusing to compromise his style." Not that tonight's a good example of that, because he's singing "Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots. Josh is up onstage with his new sunburst Gibson strapped on, just getting ready to go, when Tommy stands up and yells, "I wanna come rock with you!" Josh can't believe that this moment he's been avoiding for two weeks has come after him. He pretends to be as thrilled as the audience, as Tommy runs up to the drum kit. But you know he's terrified and more than a little bit annoyed. Tommy counts off and tears in. Josh double-axes it with Rafael the Lead Guitarist. It is, indeed, a rock song. Josh isn't drowned out, but his voice isn't a good match anyway. Tommy, of course, does his usual thing behind the drums, only slower. After they're done, Tommy throws his sticks into the audience, and Josh's pick is quick to follow. I wonder which item is going to be fought over more? Tommy soul-hugs Josh and jogs back to the judges' dais, giving the audience-cam a "Look at me! I'm keeRAY-zy!" shake along the way.
Dave tells Josh that he did a good job, but he's not sure "good" is "good enough." "Word," Josh says blandly. Glad to see he's getting the message. Jason asks Josh how it felt to play in front of Tommy, and Josh is almost convincing when he says it was great. Tommy says that he had fun too, but wishes that Josh hadn't played his guitar. I can't really blame Josh, because that opening lick is hard to resist, but Tommy would have rather seen Josh "get [his] groove on" all over the stage more. I think we can all rest assured that Josh will take that advice to heart, right? Gilby tells Josh that this is what he's been waiting for from Josh, by which he means a "rock song." Watching at home, Scott Stapp is like, "Hey!" And Jason takes this opportunity to serve notice to the other Supernovices that they never know who could be playing with them. "It could be all three of us showing up behind you, you never know." The crowd freaks out at the very thought, and Josh bellows into his mic, "Bring it!" Whatever, big talker. Storm in particular appears ready to pee herself. Pick me! Pick me! she gestures. Josh stands to Brooke, pumping up the audience while Brooke does her latest voting speech, which is a lot like all of her other voting speeches.
You know what's cuter than a cute baby? A cute baby wearing giant headphones. That's the sight we're treated to upon return from commercial, as Mrs. Magni and son are now positioned in an aisle seat. I assume the cans are for the tot's ear protection, as they don't appear to be plugged into anything. Also, the kid's holding them on his head for dear life, which is something I've never seen anyone under the age of one do for more than three seconds at a time. This is by way of introduction for Magni, who's singing "Dolphin's Cry" by Live. Magni strums his acoustic guitar once, then puts a finger to his smiling lips. It's very cute. "Shh, my kid's here," he seems to be saying. And he starts in on the first proper solo-acoustic performance of the season. He sounds really good, all strong-voiced and intense-eyed. His son, sadly, doesn't realize how cool his dad is being right now. That'll come soon. Let's just hope the contest is over for Magni before the kid grows out of it.
Dave congratulates Magni on his "amazing" performance. "Dude," Tommy obviouses, "your family's here!" Tommy asks him how the visit has been, and Magni thinks about saying something actually descriptive for a second before giving up and gushing that it's "Awesome, great, phenomenal, it saved my life, thank you." Gilby tells him his performance was really good, and that he "inspired everybody." Why isn't my description of it longer, then?
Patrice is , and she's all guitared-up again. Also, she needs to bite the bullet and get a damn haircut, because the side-ponytails she's failing to rock tonight just make her look like a cocker spaniel. As she sings John Lennon's "Instant Karma," she smiles too much and bugs her eyes out does the old Patrice vocal thing all over again. About the only noteworthy thing that happens is that before the last chorus, she picks up the microphone stand with one hand, carries it to the end of the runway while singing, and finishes up from out there. There's a nice hero shot from behind her on stage left, where she's just out there alone with her guitar, mic stand, and a sea of clapping hands surrounding her. Not much else to say, really. It's Patrice. You've seen this movie.
Dave tells Patrice that she made an excellent song choice, telling her it was "terrific" and the crowd loved it. Whatever, they love everything except helpful criticism. Patrice says that she appreciates it anyway. Gilby remarks that it must have been disappointing to end up in the bottom three the past couple of weeks, and comments that he thinks it was undeserved last week. As for tonight, he babbles that she took the song to the level, good song choice, blah blah blah. Commercials!
Brooke reminds us that last week, Lukas forgot his lyrics. Hey, we know that. Remind Lukas -- he's the one with the shitty memory. In a development that will be unsurprising to anyone who's been watching the whole episode, Brooke announces that Lukas is singing "Creep" by Radiohead. Unlike when he was practicing, he's guitarless now and starts off almost a capella. He's keeping the growling to a minimum. His voice is low and quiet, as is the band, playing soft chords with minimal percussion. Then, instead of the guitar suddenly blasting on in the first chorus, the band just keeps building gradually, even as Lukas's voice does the same. And then, bam, he goes into this falsetto, and there's absolutely no constriction of any kind as he goes high and clear, all the way into Thom Yorke territory. His intentionally stiff dancing is unfortunate as always, but this is a Lukas-voice we haven't heard before. When he sings the last line, "I don't belong here," I have a hard time agreeing.
All three Supernovans are on their feet after that, and the crowd loves it, too. Tommy requests a "Hell yeah!" Nobody says, "Hell, no." Tommy says that he's always liked the way Lukas sings, but tonight he got goosebumps. Reaction shot of Dilana looking grumpy at seeing her main rival gushed over. Especially since the webisode showed her consciously manipulating Lukas into picking "Creep" because she thought he'd blow it. Not so much, as it turns out. Dave asks Lukas, "Where has that guy been hiding, dude?" Gilby says that he loves being surprised by great performers, and Lukas did that. And because Jason hates Lukas, he gives him a classic backhanded compliment: "That was the first time since I've known you that you've used your gift properly and actually sang for us." Jason wants Lukas to keep it up. "And don't suck again," he refrains from adding.
Brooke's got Toby buttonholed onstage, and she's doing a mini-interview with him while their backs are to the cheering audience. She asks Toby what he has planned, and he plays coy and walks off. And then Brooke tells us Toby is singing "Burning Down The House" by Talking Heads. Way to give it away, there, Brooke. Toby looks semi-sharp in a jacket and tie, but he's also wearing jeans with suspenders hanging around his hips. Which is an accessory I thought was stupid even in the '80s when everyone was doing it. His version of the song splits the difference between Talking Heads' studio version and the Stop Making Sense version, but with much louder guitars than on both. He's all energetic and runny and shouty as usual. For the last verse, Zayra pays Magni forward by coming out onstage and handing Toby a megaphone draped in an Australian flag, which he sings through with the microphone held out in front of it, as you do. Ah, that's the surprise. I seem to remember thinking that was cool when Michael Stipe did it back in 1990 on the Green tour. Dave sort of shrugs as Toby sings low and loud, completely unintelligibly. For the ending, he holds up the megaphone and hits the siren button. Crazy!
As for Dave's opinion, Toby had him and then he lost him with the megaphone. Over the boos, Dave says that he's seen it a million times, and that Toby doesn't need a "prop." Toby says he was trying to show them that he can make an old song fresh for Supernova, which Tommy says he appreciates. Too bad about failing to make an old gimmick fresh. Jason was fine with it, though, and admits, "Tricks are cool a little bit at a time." Gilby says that it's nice to see that Toby wants it. Toby says he does, indeed. Which makes me wonder how he got through that whole conversation without any annoying Aussie-isms dropped in for their benefit. Brooke does her thing one last time, and opens up the voting.
Initial bottom three? It's Jill, Zayra, and Patrice. And no, they didn't use the same footage from a week for this, because Brooke is still wearing this week's outfit. She also claims she "couldn't say goodnight without a huge thanks to our House Band." I don't know, she's managed it plenty of times before. Anyway, thanks, House Band! Oh, and as for their homework assignment of writing words and melodies to a Supernova track, there was no mention of that tonight. If you want to see how it turned out, you're going to have to look into one of those webisode thingies that Brooke is always going on about. I can tell you right now that nobody won. Worse yet, nobody lost.
Wednesday
Brooke does some more ominous envelope-waving, promising that tonight, Supernova "will send the sixth rocker packing." And then some. But I'm getting ahead of myself. After the intros, Brooke claims that last night's performances still give her goosebumps. Whatever. I think that for Brooke to experience goosebumps outside of a swimsuit shoot, she would have to actually experience some emotion, which I'm not buying. In any case, it's merely a segue into some Mansion footage.
So one day last week, the Supernovices were dining al fresco when Gilby rolled up on his motorcycle. Dilana in particular is excited to see him, jumping up and down and generally making even more of a dork of herself than the purple sleep mask pushed up on her forehead already is. Gilby announces that he has "a present for the final ten." Which he obviously didn't bring on his motorcycle, because that would be a pretty small gift. Instead, he leads the Supernovices into a room with ten Gibson electric guitars all set up on stands, in every color and model. Gilby tells them they already have names on them. I don't know who got stuck with the Flying V, but interestingly, Storm got a bass. She hugs it like it's a teddy bear. A very hard, very noisy teddy bear. Which seems like it would be about Storm's speed.
Then it's song selection time, and we are reminded that only Dilana claimed the chance to sing with Gilby. There's a whole recap of last night's episode in general, which, as always, I refuse to meta-recap.
Back at the Mansion after last night, Toby pops open a bottle of champagne in the yard, and Jill dances around in the spray like a first-grader under a lawn sprinkler. After the sun goes down, the women are all hanging out together, and Jill volunteers that everyone was nuts not to take the Gilby song. Storm protests that there's nothing that says they have to. Jill says she thinks people are "afraid to get up. It comes down to how serious you are about playing with the band." Storm points out that Jill could have gone for it herself, and Jill correctly responds that she played with Gilby a couple of weeks ago. "I already got up and I already proved to them, so," she says, which is less correct. Storm jumps on that, saying Jill got "spanked" for her performance. Which is less of a courage issue than the recurring Jill-being-stupid issue, but before we can delve into that, we get a shot of Toby and Lukas watching this from a safe distance. And because no women can ever have a spirited disagreement about anything without some fratty guy making catfight noises, there's an interview bit where Toby does just that. Jill asks why Storm didn't sing with Gilby, and Storm says that it's because she wanted to sing "We Are the Champions." Well, sure, it has a key change. Be fair, Jill. Storm can't say no to a key change. Jill whatevers that that's Storm's choice. And then Storm interviews that she doesn't feel pressured to prove anything to Gilby. "I know I can," she boasts. "He knows I can." More argument footage, and then Zayra interviews that you have to pick the right song for your voice, or else you might as well hang yourself. Well, we can only hope.
Back in the auditorium, Dave exaggerates that that was "interesting viewing" and gives Storm a chance to back down from her bold statement in her interview. She doesn't, of course. Dave asks her what makes her so sure that Gilby knows Storm can share the stage with him. For once, Storm doesn't have an answer. "Good question," she stalls. She finally punts, saying that Gilby knows her history and background. Plus, she adds, "I wouldn't hump you; I'd probably break your back." Unlike Gilby, Jill looks unamused. Gilby says that it's a question of chemistry, and that Dilana showed some guts. Storm doesn't disagree, even though you can tell she'd like to say more. Not that that's ever not true of Storm, as far as I've seen.
Dave turns it over to Tommy, who calls everyone "my little pretties" and comments that Ryan is coming out of his shell. "It's still all me," Ryan asserts. Tommy says that Ryan still seems kind of uncomfortable, which Ryan shrewdly turns around: "Hey, I made Tommy Lee uncomfortable!" And that's the end of that. Ryan's not dressed or made-up the way he was last night, so he's clearly at peace with the possibility that he won't get the encore again this week. That's good.
Now Gilby has an announcement: "For those of you who make it through tonight, you're going to go with us to Vegas." The Supernovices look thrilled, and even the crowd screams like they're invited, too. The ostensible purpose is to check out the venue for Supernova's New Year's Eve debut at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, but God knows what other manner of debauchery they'll be getting up to beyond that. Stee and I once speculated that probably nobody has ever had more fun in Las Vegas than Frank Sinatra, but I'd speculate that Tommy Lee is probably a close second.
Jason says that last night's show was great, which made it tough for them to decide who to give the encore to. So hard, in fact, that they're giving two. The first ("by a nose," Jason emphasizes, because he hates him) is Lukas, who gets up and crosses to the stage, accepting the adulation that he clearly feels is long overdue. "I'm gonna do 'Creep.'" he mutters into the mic with false modesty. "You guys mind?" And then he does it, almost exactly the way he did it last night. If anything, he's even stronger on the high notes. As for the second encore, we'll find out who gets it after the first break.
Commercials. Somebody needs to tell the people making all these movies set in the '70s not to be so faithful to the period hairstyles. Shudder.
Break over! Except it's still a commercial, because Brooke is flogging some "live space" thing, and now there's a contest involved. Not interested. Anyway, on to a much more fascinating subject, which is the open question of who gets tonight's second encore. Before getting to that, Jason backhands Lukas again, reminding him that it was his first encore and grudgingly adding that "you did it right." As for the second encore, they really liked last night's performance, but tonight they need it plugged in and, quote, "Magni-fied." So, Patrice then? No, I'm kidding. Magni heads over to the stage for his second encore of the season, which he's doing without any guitar at all. "I missed you guys," he tells the House Band. He sings the crying dolphins song again, but this time backed by the full band. Presumably his infant son isn't in the audience to be deafened by the racket this evening. In any case, it's good again, and it's different from last night, which is the biggest departure of all from encores. This even makes me wonder of Magni didn't unplug last night so his son could be in the room just while he sang. Magni energetically high-fives Nate the Drummer before leaving the stage, like they've never done this song together before and they can't believe they pulled it off. Which might be the case, for all I know.
Bottom three time. Brooke tells us that worldwide voting was up 22% from last week. As always, different Supernovices were in and out of the bottom three during the voting window. I'm really looking forward to seeing what they do if and when the bottom three remains constant throughout. Brooke tells the following contestants to stand up: Jill, Josh, Zayra, Ryan, and Patrice. Brooke asks Dave if he's surprised. Dave says that there are a lot of familiar faces in or near the bottom three, and he's not all that surprised at any of them. "Four of you guys are going to be left," Dave warns the bottom five with uncharacteristic optimism, "and I think it's time for you to crank up the heat." I'd imagine Ryan is feeling a little betrayed about now. Brooke says that she'll open the envelope after the break.
Back from commercial, Brooke says that if she calls a Supernovice's name, that person must join her onstage to sing for Supernova. Brooke reads the first name. "Zayra...you are safe and you're going to Vegas!" Zayra goes from resigned to ecstatic in about half a second. "Finally!" someone says, like Zayra hasn't done this four out of six weeks. The first actual bottom three member is Jill.
Gilby makes the observation that this is Jill's third trip to the bottom three, which is "a little disappointing," even though she's the only Supernovice to have earned that distinction thus far. Gilby obviouses that the times, she's saved herself, which would, if you think about it explain why she's still here at all. It makes a crazy kind of sense, almost. Jill says that she's singing "Respect" by Aretha Franklin. She speechifies that she chose it because rock & roll is based on blues. Which makes it kind of sad that when she starts singing the song, her performance is almost completely devoid of blues. She seems uncertain on the difference between "blue" and "blew." The band sounds great, with Paul the Keyboard Player filling in on harmonica for the nonexistent horn section, and Sasha the Bassist funking things up good. Sadly, Jill's less interested in rocking than in bopping around like the captain of the cheerleading squad fronting her rebel boyfriend's garage band.
After Jill's done, Brooke actually gives the name of the second bottom three Supernovice before going to commercial. And it's Josh. He crosses over to join Brooke, who asks Tommy what he thinks. "I'm starting to get a frigging complex, man," Tommy says. "I thought we killed it." It's all about Tommy. Josh agrees with him. Of course; it's not like he's going to say, "Well, I killed it, but you phoned it in, dude." Tommy says that he sort of gets it, given that Josh tethered himself to a guitar for his performance instead of working the stage. So Josh tells him that he's going to play his guitar again right now. Tommy doubtfully asks what Josh has in mind, and Josh says that he's going to sing "Shooting Star" by Bad Company.
If Josh actually wanted to win this contest, he'd leave the guitar on the stand, or toss it into the audience, or smash it after the first chorus or something. It was free, after all. But he goes through the whole doomed performance, stuck behind the microphone stand and waggling his head with an ugly lack dorkpie hat perched atop it. I do have to admit that his voice sounds really really good, as always. I wish him well. With another gig. After he's done, he joins Jill off stage left, who's smiling and applauding stiffly. And there's a funny moment where behind him, we can see Brooke almost missing her cue and rushing past them in the background. She scampers back out to the end of the runway to announce the last final three member. And it is, "Patrice. Or Ryan. And we'll find out after the break." Patrice, who never moved, just points at Brooke like, "Good one! Get down with your Seacrestic self!" Brooke apologizes lamely over the groans of the audience as we go to commercial.
Coming back, Brooke tries to pump up the drama as to whether it's Patrice or Ryan filling out the bottom three. "Patrice," she says, "this could be your third week in the bottom three." Patrice just nods, that creepy, ever-present bottom-three smile of hers never wavering. Brooke reminds Ryan that he's never been in the bottom three and that he had the encore last week. Ryan just raises an arm, his creepy serial-killer glare never wavering. Of course, since Brooke took the trouble to point those facts out in order to make sure we're expecting Patrice, it's no surprise when it turns out to be Ryan.
"Anything to stand to Brooke," Ryan mumbles into his mic when he reaches her. Because it's Jason's turn to grill a bottom-three member, he waves his fingerless gloves around and asks Ryan why he thinks he's in the bottom three. Ryan says that he doesn't know. Jason's question is of course Socratic, because he thinks that, like himself, people are somewhat confused by Ryan's goofy theatrics of the evening before. Although not in so many words. Without giving Ryan much of a chance to respond, Jason asks what Ryan's singing tonight. And Ryan's singing "Enjoy the Silence" by Depeche Mode. Sitting at home, Matt is like, "Hey!" As for the crowd, this is the loudest reaction I've heard to a bottom-three song announcement, which is kind of weird. Maybe Depeche Mode is an L.A. thing. Ryan says that he updated the arrangement and babbles something about the lyrics being "in the moment," whatever that means. Jason thinks it's an appropriate song for Ryan, which spins me off into speculation of how many people I went to high school with would have known both the names "Jason Newsted" and "Enjoy The Silence." My guess: a lot more than would have admitted it. Jason gives Ryan the go-ahead.
Like last night, Ryan has swapped around the order of the song. He starts out singing the chorus low and softly, over nothing but slow keyboard chords. Then he goes up an octave on the second line. So far, so good. Nate the Drummer counts off and the band kicks in full strength. And it sounds great. No fiddly keyboards -- there's still piano, but it's really big like the piano in "New Year's Day" by U2 and Nate is just pounding out a driving four-four instead of bothering with the syncopated high-hat that goes on in the original. As for Ryan, he's making his first misstep, having a little trouble struggling out of his sweatshirt during the intro and then trying to get his necklace straightened out before he has to sing the first verse. Not cool. But the first verse is quite dramatic, with Ryan singing low again and the band hanging back again. They're back for the second chorus, and then Ryan's mic cuts out briefly while he sings from near the other bottom-threes at stage left. For the chorus, he's out on the runway, singing harder than Dave Gahan ever will and bent so low over the audience that he appears to briefly lose his balance. Someone in the front catches he hand, and Ryan has to yank himself free. Again, not cool. He goes back upstage for his big finish, which involves a lot of yelling and ends with the shouted injunction, "Enjoy The Silence!" Thanks, I think I will. Okay, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair. Ryan really wasn't bad at all, especially if you just listened and didn't watch. Josh and Jill join Ryan at the end of the runway, where they'll wait out Supernova's commercial-length deliberations.
After the break, Gilby does his thing where he summarizes the bottom three performances, prefacing it with the remark, "As always, we never agree." Well, that certainly bodes well for the future of the band. "You don't want to know," Tommy intones. Gilby tells Jill that it seems like the voters are trying to tell them something, putting her in the bottom three for a third time. But she always seems to sing her way out of it, he says. Brilliant observation. Gilby says that they all know Josh has a great voice, but there's doubt as to whether it will cut through the loud guitars (or guitar, as the case may be). Gilby also mentions the Josh-insisting-on-playing-guitar issue. Gilby turns to Ryan and repeats that it's his first bottom-three performance. The audience claps and cheers for Ryan, unlike for the other two. Gilby tells him he's been building on his momentum, although they're still not sure about his stage presence. "We do think you deserve another chance," Gilby concludes, and just like that, Ryan is safe. And Gilby turns it over to the "Tommyhawk." Into the silent hall, Gilby orders, "Give Tommy a little love, guys, come on." Tommy gets a little love from the audience, if it can be called that under such circumstances. "Noise" might be a better word. "Coerced noise" might be better still. Aw, no love for the hatchet man. Maybe he should drop the schtick.
Tommy starts into his speech, and it's apparent almost from the first word what's coming. He tells the eight sitting Supernovices that he wants them to realize what's going on, and that they're about to do something that's never happened. "It's do or die time. It's time to get this thing going," Tommy says, and now even Josh and Jill see what's happening. He claims he hates doing it, but "Both of you are outta here."
General consternation in the audience. As for the remaining eight Supernovices, they look unhappy, but not surprised. "That's crazy, dude," Josh says softly. "Crazy," Dave agrees, semi-mockingly. He tells Josh that he's a great singer, and that Jill's vocals last night were some of her strongest. He thinks that they'll both be fine, and lets them give their last speech to Supernova. Jill goes first, thanking them for the opportunity and the audience for being undiscerning. Josh also thanks the band for having him, and the Supernovices "for being cool." He says he knew all along that he was in "a different vein" from Supernova and asks, "Uh, does this mean we can't go to Vegas now?" Supernova makes "Sorry, dude," faces, and Josh turns to the Supernovices and mock-rants, "What are you laughing at? This is not funny! They're cutting me They're cutting me from the show!" He finally drops the act, and thanks everyone again. Oh, my sides.
Last-Word Jason tells them both that their spirit will be missed. Well, except for Jill's. He compliments Josh for his little display, and Josh confesses, "I'm a dork." Jason insists that was "undeniable cool." I'm beginning to question Jason's mastery of that concept. Dave finally cuts the evictees loose to say goodbye to the survivors, and Brooke again exhorts us to vote for our favorites and plugs a bunch of Verizon and MSN crap. Meanwhile, across the room from each other, Toby and Tommy are having this whole dorky mime conversation about Vegas. Can't wait for that webisode.
Post-eviction interviews. Wait, I mean interview. Singular. Ryan claims not to be surprised that two people got axed tonight. "The competition is officially at a new level and they just sped up the process," he explains. Hey, I'm all for that. The sooner we can get down to just Dilana, Lukas, Magni, Toby, and Storm fighting it out, the happier I'll be. Ryan says thathe'll miss Josh, his roommate and the house comic (not that we ever saw much of that fabled sense of humor until the very end), and Jill was a fellow New Yorker. Aw, Ryan, you old softy. A fellow New Yorker? I'm getting all misty. Ryan adds, "She just had a set of pipes on her that she could wake up at 6 in the morning and sing like that." Too bad about the past tense; I didn't know that there was a literal hatchet at the end of these elimination shows. As for himself, Ryan says his chances of winning are the same as the first day he came, which is pretty modest of him. I'd say they've doubled or maybe even tripled from the original zero. "As far as becoming the lead singer of Supernova?" he question-repeats, "that's why I'm here. That's what I want." Well, it's good to want things.