Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Supernova's Bassist Gets His Phil
By M. Giant | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 07.24.2006
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Tuesday
Apparently, this week, the Supernovices got to hear some of the instrumental tracks that Supernova's been working on. They all love them. Can you even believe it? More to the point, they now have a better sense of what the band is going for. Lukas dons a straitjacket to growl "Bittersweet Symphony," and Jason is still waiting for him to open up his throat. Zayra suits up in navy-blue rubber for "Call Me," and I'll be very surprised if anyone does. Or texts her for that matter. Dana's Dilana impression is coming along nicely, as she covers "About A Girl" by Nirvana. Because you know what this show needs? More Nirvana. Patrice does a Black Crowes cover of "Remedy." It's good as always, but the judges are getting tired of more of the same from her every week, and send her the memo that this ain't Stubb's, sweetheart. Toby's performance of "White Wedding" shows that he'd be the ideal singer for Supernova, as long as they don't ever want him to sing any low notes. Magni sings "Heroes" by the Wallflowers (as opposed to "Heroes" by David Bowie, if you know what I mean), and gets busted for chaining himself to his guitar and microphone stand. I was wondering when someone would get smacked for that. Ryan sings "I Alone" by Live, and gets all kinds of credit for nearly hurting himself. Jill gets this week's Supernova cameo; her vocal performance of "Brown Sugar" becomes secondary to rubbing her miniskirted cooter all over Gilby, who doesn't appreciate it. Phil has the second Wallflowers cover of the evening with "One Headlight," a concept he illustrates by glaring at the audience Cyclops-like in a way that still bugs Jason. Dilana does "Time After Time" accompanied by a single acoustic guitar. What can I say? It's Dilana. It's awesome. Josh croons "No Rain," and makes a rather desperate case for Supernova choosing a soulful voice. And Storm closes out the night by belting out Dramarama's "Anything Anything" and swan-diving off the end of the runway. Fortunately, people catch her. I'll be very disappointed if I learn they're CBS interns. The initial bottom three? Josh, Jill, and Zayra. Nothing new for them.
Wednesday
Jill argues with Gilby, both in his absence and to his face, and Dana's relationship with Dilana threatens to go completely All About Eve. Storm gets the encore, but thinks better of repeating her stage dive after she gets a load of the wee little UCLA sorority chicks in tonight's front row. But on to the bottom three. Jill, Josh, and Zayra learn that they were in the initial bottom three. And then Phil and Patrice round out the bottom five. First in the bottom three? Patrice, who decides to change it up by throwing a Radiohead tune. Don't worry, it's only "My Iron Lung" and not something from Kid A. She steps so far out of her comfort zone that she actually leaves the stage. Zayra takes her second trip to the bottom three, and actually does a different song this time: "Not an Addict" by K's Choice, although her accent makes the lyrics sound like "Please, please, please don't kick me off the show yet, please." Brooke gets her Seacrest on as she announces that the final bottom three member is Phil, who sings a little-known song that is likely to remain little-known. The bottom three stand before Supernova, who send Patrice back to the Nut Gallery. And send Phil home. As one, the Nut Gallery is like, What the fucking fuck? Including Zayra. Who now gets to go at least one more circle around the drain. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Tuesday
Dear God, what the hell is Brooke wearing tonight? It's like the top half of a cocktail waitress outfit from Caesar's Palace thrown on over a gold disco ball. So confusing. Introducing the Supernovices, she busts out a simile: they're "sitting over there like a bunch of people crammed into coach class," even though they now have more room than they did when there were three more of them. She adds that "only one of them will be hitching a ride on a private jet with these guys, Supernova." They really shouldn't write over her head like that. No one's ever going to believe that's something she'd actually say. Cheers from the audience as always, though. Jason got a haircut, and Tommy must have, too, because he's wearing a hat tonight. It's an asymmetrical leather porkpie number that makes him look like the world's oldest Dead End Kid. He's also wearing a vest with no shirt, which always dresses up any ensemble. Brooke also introduces Dave, who fails to hit on her at all. Brooke reminds us that Jason hit the stage last week, and that Gilby will be joining one of the Supernovices this week. She tries to be mysterious about it, even though those of us who caught the webisode already know that he's playing "Brown Sugar" with Jill. Sorry if that ruins the surprise. Brooke sets up this week's mansion flashback by saying that Supernova stopped by a few days ago to hang with the Supernovices.
The clip starts with the band and its twelve lead singers gathering around the dining room table. Gilby interviews that he appreciated the chance to get to know the contestants. Not enough to hire all of them and take Supernova in a Polyphonic Spree-inspired new direction, apparently, but still. Clip of Gilby telling the Supernovices that his daughter also plays guitar. Everyone coos like that's adorable, so I assume the little Clarkelet isn't twenty-three-years-old. Dilana interviews that Gilby is down-to-earth. And then Gilby stands up from the table and invites the Supernovices into the other room to "listen to some tunes." He means Supernova tunes, of course.
In the parlor, Gilby takes up position behind the console of a million-track recorder and starts head-bobbing as some new Supernova music starts pouring out of the speakers. Tommy does that thing where you let your sunglasses fall off your forehead and over your eyes, because he thinks it's cool. None of the Supernova tracks have any lyrics or, indeed, any vocals at all aside from the occasional "hey" or "whoo;" that's what the Supernovices are for, after all. They all sit around the music room, jamming and nodding appreciatively, because the cameras and the judges are watching. Lukas interviews that the music is "way better than I thought. I got excited, right here." He points where he gets excited. Just to clarify, "right here" is somewhere in his chest as opposed to a spot high on the far wall. Dana's interview describes it as "classic rock." When you're twenty-two, isn't stuff from the '90s classic rock? "Is that Candlebox? Turn it up, man!" Toby interviews that the tracks sound great. Storm describes it as "top down, cold beer, rebellious, good times, like the essence of rock & roll." Because even if her chances of winning the lead singer gig are slim, Supernova's going to need a PR flack, as well. Zayra interviews, "It's shit. I'm out." Not really, but I wish she would. Actually, I wish anyone would. It's probably wise of Supernova to wait until everyone has a month of their lives invested in this before busting out the actual tunes. Not that it's bad; some of it's catchy, but it's nothing spectacular. At the end of the listening party, Gilby explains that now the Supernovices know what the band is going for.
Back in the auditorium, Gilby says that he had fun hanging out with the Supernovices, but now, "There's no more excuses. You know what we're talking about." Yeah, Zayra. Jason says that they'll be hearing more Supernova tunes, and the competition will get more serious as they go. Because Jason has to say something at some point. Actually, that's not entirely fair; I understand that he talks plenty at the tapings; he's just so long-winded that his comments rarely make it to the air. But enough of this jibber-jabber. Tommy announces, "Let's crank this up, bitch."