Previously on Road Rules. Theo and James in the Shasta, driving at night. Theo tells James that he wishes he had been involved in more sports in high school. He thinks that maybe he was afraid at the time. Or maybe the other kids didn't want you playing, Theo. Ever think of that? We cut to the ski jump competition -- back when Holly was in her full bitchy glory, remember? -- where Holly admits that Theo "flies" but asks the group, "How many times did he land it?" Theo comes back with, "I'm class act. I can land it." Cut to a shot of Theo jumping all of about seven feet, and then promptly falling like the "Agony of Defeat" guy on ABC's Wide World of Sports. Theo is a Wide World of Stupid. And...Road Master. Intro. Bad music. They write the song that makes the whole world cringe. "Things are a little different..." Points. Handsome reward. Fake Max Headroom. It's all like one big nightmare that never ends. One more reason to hate Mondays. Well, that and Everybody Loves Raymond. ["But -- aw, forget it." -- Wing Chun]
Graphic of Stupid. "Theo's Big Adventure." Aw, man! I was going to use that as a title. Bastards. The boys are playing basketball in a gym with some other boys. Theo is dribbling -- the ball, not saliva like usual. He shoots. Bricks. Air-ball. Theo is pretty bad. He floats that he never played football and such: "Like, I didn't do, like, a lot of, like, real, real, like, brave kinda outgoing stuff. I just grew up kinda scared, I think. Like, some kids threw the javelin, I had a pen in my hand. You know, I was writing things." Yeah, like, "Theo is the Best!" and "Van Halen rulez!" (You know, someone really ought do a "like" count to go with the "dude" count.) He goes on to talk about how his dad was all old and died when Theo was young and so he never really had a role model. He yodels that if he'd had a better male influence that he'd be "more..." and he starts to say "manly," but they cut him off and edit to a shot of the Shasta parked at night. I wonder if that was some B/M statement or just a pure fuck-up. On one hand, B/M doing something pointless and vaguely mean, and on the other hand, B/M being really sloppy and incompetent...Hmmm. That's a real toss-up. Interior, Shasta. Msaada and James and Kathryn smile strangely as the Road Master makes his impending bloated presence known: "Theo. I visited your dream last night. You know, the one where you're being smothered!" Theo makes a strange face as Holly eats. I told you: always with the food. Seriously. I think she might not be human. The Bloated One continues: "I'm so sorry, Theo, but tomorrow, your dream comes true. Take a deep breath." Email. Blah. "Nighty-night," Theo says along with the TV to Holly. Holly laughs in between bites of her necessary Robot Sustenance. "Your favorite line," laughs Msaada, off-camera, of course. See, I knew that phrase would only catch on with idiots. Whoa: Theo is the target audience for his own show. Pretty ironic. They look at email and suddenly James yells, "Key West, baby!" and the Shasta eases on down the road. A truck full of suck.
Clichéd shots of South Florida. Palm trees. Long bridges. Salsa music plays, "setting the tone." Msaada drives. More tourist crap. More. Even more. I go eat two-year-old chocolate chips to try to stay awake. It doesn't work. I take a nap. Good nap. I'm back. Cuba banners held by crazy exiles. Fish stores. Hurricane monuments. "Southern Most [sic] Point in Continental United States." Salsa music. Pancho Sanchez rolling over in his grave. Oh, he's not dead yet? Well, then just shifting a little in his hammock. The kids arrive at a harbor where they meet Mehgan, the new Mission Mayor. She egomaniacally introduces herself as holding the United States Free-Diving Record, "at one-hundred-sixty-five" feet. No "Nice to meet you"? "How was your drive?" Just list the credentials. Man, she is very proud of her obscure little accomplishment, isn't she? I mean, it's not like Heel Cancer Boy was all, "Hi, I'm your new Mayor and I survived heel cancer. What have you done with your lives?" So ExpositionMsaada talks to the camera, saying that they'll be free-diving today, "which is basically holding our breath until we turn blue." So Mehgan wins awards for being able to hold her breath for a long time. I've seen girls hold their breaths for a long time, and I never gave them an award. (Hoo-wah! Try the veal, sir, it's wonderful tonight.) James talks to the camera (B/M getting tired of the "floaties"?) about how he's going to just dive until his head bursts like a watermelon...which is not a very good analogy because watermelons don't just burst on their own. They need a catalyst...like Gallagher. Oh man, suddenly I smell a skunk very strongly, wafting through my window. That happens a lot in my neighborhood. Or maybe it's just the death-stink of bad television emanating from the Quasar. Theo does a direct-to-camera that he's not much of a "water-diver," but he'll do his best. I'm about to make a joke about what other kind of "diver" he is, but then realize that he might have been making a sexual joke and quickly get creeped out and hit Play again. Pleased-With-Herself Mehgan (why can't she just spell her name normally, for Christ's sakes) talks about how the high winds makes for less-than-ideal conditions but, oh well. Laterrian also talks to the camera about how he doesn't like water and just learned to tread it the other day. Theo jowls, "Laterrian's fear of water is just that he can't swim." Yeah, other than that, he loves it. Give him a bottle of Evian and he'll fuck shit up. Mehgan talks to the group (Holly goes Scaryteeth. Theo scowls.) about "shallow water black-out" which can occur during the ascent (Theo madly flips through the dictionary for "ascent"). She helpfully explains that it's caused by "a total lack of oxygen" and causes the brain to shut the body down. I'm current suffering from "shallow television black-out." Theo continues that he hopes nobody drowns. Me too...well, at least I hope most of the cast doesn't drown. I'd be willing to spare a few for the sake of a little drama.
Out on the water. Big boat. Holly sunbathes. Kathryn shares that they all have colds and that Mehgan told them it will therefore be pretty painful for them in the water. The kids in pain? Cool. Msaada almost falls as the fast-moving boat hits a wave. The kids cheer. Theo chaws, "Don't it get busy like this and crazy like this in South Central?" Msaada tries to think of a proper response, but there is none. She says it is "like a friggin' roller coaster," and I wonder if she means the boat ride, or having to put up with Theo on a daily basis. The boat stops and everyone immediately gets seasick. Laterrian floats that seasickness is one of the "worst feelings you could ever have." I'm getting seasick just watching the shots from the boat. Up and down and up and...holy shit! Kathryn throws up over the side. Nasty. Man, B/M, that was -- Whoa! Theo throws up over the side. Again! And again! Huge streams of puke flying through the wind. "You all right, Theo?" someone asks. "Yeah, dude." Hee. "It's just tough when your breakfast comes up through your nose." And I don't mean to be graphic here, but in that case it looks like Theo just had a whole lot of Tang for breakfast. (And I don't mean the kind of "tang" Laterrian got in the T.G.I.Friday's restroom a few weeks ago.) If Fat Calvin were still the mayor, he'd make Theo repaint the side of the boat. So MayorMehgan talks about "listening" to your body during the dive, and that it'll tell you when you've gone far enough. She adds warnings about your inner ear and the importance of "equalizing," and the diving mask suctioning to your face. "It's called a mask squeeze, and you don't want to do that to any kind of extreme, because it's like you're getting two hickeys over your eyes." She adds that you can also get black eyes and/or burst blood vessels. Okay, this mission doesn't sound like very much fun at all. But then again, I don't have to do it. I just have to sit here and watch them do it. However, I think my mission is a bit more perilous. My mission is to stay awake. Oh, I'm failing...There I go...Laterrian has his head down and is looking very sick. Maybe he should read some Whitman to Mehgan -- try to equalize the Laterrian/T duality. So as Mehgan gets in the water to help with the dives, Laterrian floats. "Water and I, we don't get along, you know. We're at constant war." He climbs into the water and furiously paddles for the boogie board Mehgan is holding for him. Poor guy. He floats again (ha! "floats"), "I'm contemplating whether or not, uh, to swim ever again." He's so serious, too. Hee. James officially ties with Theo ("It's just like rugby, dude.") for worst pep talk of all time as he shouts from the boat, "Think of the Titanic. You're just going down, deep." That's real helpful advice. That's like telling someone learning to fly a plane, "Just think about TWA flight 800. Except...not for the exploding into bits over the Long Island Sound part." Laterrian sits on a little open-bottom raft, while B/M craftily replays MayorMcMehgan's warning about shallow water black-out. B/M's Synchronized Swimming watercam pays off once more as we shoot up at Laterrian swimming straight down, flanked by a few helpers -- one hopes, to avoid one of those nasty Road Ruler deaths that tend to just ruin a season. And...commercial. And...nap time!
So after the commercials, which include my favorite "Sixty-six, please!" Holly ad, a disgusting Slim Jim spot, and some Sprite dude scratching on two Victrolas, Laterrian dives. James yells, "He's going diggity-deep." Uh, actually no diggity: He resurfaces after going fifteen feet. Fifteen whole feet. Wait. Didn't MayorMehgan go one-hundred-sixty-five feet? Hee. She's down shootin' craps with flounders and sea anemones and Laterrian's getting the bends at the bottom of a swimming pool. James claps as Laterrian babbles to Mehgan. James, cheering, for some reason calls Laterrian "Big baby." I hope Laterrian punches James. So now B/M tries to save precious screen minutes by going all Timecode on us and showing Kathryn and Msaada's non-simultaneous dives, simultaneously via split-screen nonsense. They both talk but I can't understand either of them. Then they dive. Kick kick kick. Rise. Kathryn makes eighteen feet; Msaada, seventeen. I thought Kathryn was good at "going down." Maybe she needed some duct tape. Holly and James are split-screen . "Dude, I...I can feel it, dude. I can feel it. I think I can hit that bottom, dude." That was James, in case you couldn't guess. To her credit, Ho-Ho has yet to fall victim to Dude Fever. Holly dives but goes AquaScaryteeth when her ears hurt and she comes up after sixteen feet. James makes twenty-nine, which I'm just guessing, dude, isn't, dude, actually the "bottom" of the, like, ocean. James massages Theo on the boat as Theo voice-overs, "James' passion for sports is showing me that I got nothing to be afraid of. Like, I can push myself so hard. I look up to James. He's my paht-na. And I want to show him that I can just go for it all." Yo, that has to be the least "dud
e" and at the same time, most gay speech Theo has ever made. James finishes his rousing shirtless dude-talk and the pumped-up Theo swims to the raft. "Oh, that's so neat-o," chaws Theo, looking down into the water. "Yeah," giggles MayorMehgan. Oh shut up, Mehgan. Spell your name right -- then you can giggle. So PukeTheo dives and makes twenty-two feet. "Damn," he hicks.
Back on the boat, Mehgan tells the kids that they did well, but that it wasn't the "end of our mission here." James goes floaty, suddenly looking just like that chubby MTV VJ Dave Holmes, and says that the day they will have to go three feet or more past their original depth in order to win the typical money etc. etc. The kids sit on bleachers back on land and Mehgan goes around asking them for their goal depth for the day. Everyone sets their goal between three and five feet more than the first dive. When she gets to Theo, he says, "Um...I'm gonna go with thirty-five." Music cue. Camera swivel. "No," says a few people. Kathryn tries to reason with him and get him to set his goal at twenty-five. Holly floats that she doesn't know what Theo was thinking: "There's a very good potential for doing serious damage to yourself if you dive too deep, and Theo is getting cocky." Just what more serious damage could he possibly do to himself? Seriously. If everything goes wrong and he gets a brain squeeze or something, maybe he starts to make sense when he talks.
Back to the group as Theo yodels about wanting to challenge himself. They point out that if he sets the goal too high and doesn't make it, they won't get their prize money. He talks about his ears "equalizing" as his floaty self hicks, "And it's like, c'mon guys. Don't you want me to see at least try to do the best that I can?" Does B/M listen to these quotes and realize they don't make grammatical sense -- and then choose to air them anyway? Or maybe they just want to make Theo look dumber -- I mean, as dumb as he is. Argue argue argue. Mehgan says, "I kind of need to know today." Shut up, Mehgan. Theo goes for thirty. James then mini-floats. "Theo and I always say 'Go big or go home' [thumbs-up sign, as part of the mantra, I imagine -- fucking hysterical], you know." He continues that he thinks the guys are supposed to do better in the physical challenges than the girls, and that having himself and "L.T." around, and having not played sports, puts some pressure on Theo and thus he feels intimidated. James sucks. However, he's dead-on right about this and Theo admits it. (But if the boys are supposed to do so much better, how come in most of the challenges so far, they haven't? Huh? Huh?) Theo talks to Laterrian in the Shasta about his goal-setting and about never playing football and not having had the opportunity to throw the touchdown with two or three seconds left. A lot of "dude"s. Talk of pride and setting the goal as far away as Theo can. Laterrian wonders why he doesn't just set it, then, at one thousand feet. Laterrian's logic escapes me. Outwitted by Theo...that's pretty bad. Theo naturally says that he'd like to at least set a goal he could possibly "attain." Laterrian makes a poor argument back about thirty-five being like a thousand to the rest of the group and now I'm lost. This scene is tiring. Blah blah blah goalcakes. Whatever. Gomer says something dismissive about the rest of the group's obviously not caring since they're not there discussing it with Theo. ( "Dude," I could imagine eight million things I'd rather be doing there in Florida than sitting in the fucking RV trying to make sense of your shit. I'd rather go clothes shopping with Kathryn or listen to Holly's stories about her horny grandmother or even trade locker-room prank tales with James than being locked in the Shasta with Theo.)
Outside now. Holly wears a pretty little pink dress and make-up and looks, yes, rather fetching. Oh shut up, you people. Don't you judge me! Holly stands as Theo, James, and Laterrian sit. Holly tries to reason with Theo very patiently. More patiently than Jughead deserves, in my humble opinion (or "IMHO," as the kids love to say so much these days.) Holly explains that he's risking the group's money, and Theo comes back hard with, "Every time you guys made your decision, I said 'hey...that's your feet, you go for it.' I'm gonna risk it." Theo, by the way, is wearing a shirt with the nametag "Adams" and a leopard-print collar. I'll let you make your own judgement about that. Holly goes on to talk about the competition some more and Theo says, "Oh, so it's about the [finger-quotes] 'money.'" Theo says that when he sees the little diving flag, he sees "[his] goal." "Baby," he hicks, "if all you envision in this world is dollar signs, then that's a shame." Hee. Holly is all Scaryteeth all over Florida. Laterrian and James look very uncomfortable because they know Holly is right and that's a sad sad day. Then Theo advises Holly to swim to the bottom and hook her flag "onto the back of a [beep] shark and just swim as far as you can after it." Holly looks at him like he's insane. It's actually the same look I have on my face right now...well, sans Scaryteeth. Future Short Hair Holly floats and ho-ho's about how Theo "unstantly [sic] decides [she's] being negative" and doesn't listen and it's very frustrating. Meanwhile, those B/M editing scamps do a split-screen with Theo in slo-mo issuing his "shark dis." (By the way, I've given up on you guys, just go ahead and do whatever nonsense you want -- I obviously can't stop you, nor can I stop watching the show. You want fifty-eight screens open at one time? Fucking go for it. I dare you. I issue a dare right now. Fifty-eight simultaneous split-screens. Do it. Go Big Or Go Home.) I'd like to see Holly and Theo on Big Brother because it would be fun to see them constantly tying for first place for who gets voted out of the house.
So now as they get into the elevator wherever they're staying (yeah, I've given up on trying to figure that out too) Theo whines to James that he didn't back him up during his HollyArgument. "You know, everyone's stabbing Caesar, baby, somebody's got to pull off old Brutus." And while he says this, here's what James's face looks like: "What the hell is he talking about?" Eye roll. "Think James, think. Caesar. Like the salad. Brutus. From Popeye? No! The guy with the stabbing." Eye roll back to Theo. Knowing smile. "See, I knew what he was talking about." Pause. Pause. "Wait. He's comparing himself to Caesar? Jesus, Theo is a fucking idiot." Theo goes on to subtly and passive-aggressively complain that of all people, James should be defending him. "If it's anyone, like, I've taken as somebody to, friggin', to expect to go for it all, yo, it's totally you." In the elevator, where Msaada is and then disappears in the cut, James kind of distances himself from the argument, saying that he's sorry if Theo felt bad, but Theo has chosen personal glory over the team. Theo can't understand why James would be turning his back like this. It's kinda sad, in a "funny ha ha Theo sucks" kinda way. James goes on and Theo's face drops. James is the one he looks up to, after all. James is the one he's trying to impress with the dive depth. Theo is crestfallen. Theo is betrayed. James defends himself by bring up the fact that this is Theo's first time and he could die. And for a second, a fleeting instant, Road Rules becomes good, quality television. Drama. Tension. Good dialogue. The elevator opens and Theo gathers himself up. "You're right. You're right. That's a very good point. Remember that," he says, and exits the elevator. And...scene. And...commercial. And...I'm sure when we get back from the ads we'll be back to the same old boring annoying show we've grown to...something.
Maybe during the commercials I'll write some Road Rules haiku:
Theo is a rube.
Backwoods hick philosopher.
Squeal like a pig, James.My girl, Scaryteeth.
Mommy said, "Holly-ho-ho."
More than a nickname.Big tantrum last week.
"My rugby friends understand."
James hates all the girls.Like figment of mind.
Catch glimpse occasionally.
Where is Msaada?As are yin and yang:
Laterrian and T, both
Always sound stuffed-up.Kathryn has one rule:
No sex in the champagne room.
But bathroom is fine.
Okay. Poetry break over. Same shot I swear they've used before of sunset over a swampy-looking thing. The kids arrive at the boat as MayorMcMehgan explains that each diver will attempt to dive to their "description" depth, grab the flag which will be attached to a rope, and surface. The flags, when put together, will make a puzzle leading them to their clue. Also, each flag is worth a "coin," or a thousand dollars. Yes. Yes. Thank you for the explanation. Without the painstaking exposition I'd be lost, that's just how complex these games are. The boat takes off as Karate Kid music plays, for some reason. I guess B/M abandoned the salsa theme the minute some Kitaro band offered them a few bucks to play their crazy bamboo flute shit. As split-screen versions of the kids put on their wetsuits, Mehgan, and I really can't believe this, gives the exact same explanation she gave twenty seconds ago, one more time. She mixes it up at the end by adding, "A black-out is obviously a disqualification." Yes. I would imagine. Holly floats that while yesterday they were in forty feet of water where they could see the bottom, today they're in two hundred forty feet of water. "So you can't see the bottom." Man, Holly must have studied Oceanography in college. I only wish B/M had studied television in college. James gets ready to take off for his thirty-two-foot dive. Mehgan warns him not to risk a black-out or to burst an eardrum, "okay, buddy?" I'm getting a bit of a Picabo Street vibe from Mehgan. I'm just sayin'. Mehgan teaches James some tip about clearing out his nose by snorting salt water. We watch James throw salty-snot into the water for a while. No wonder the ocean is so polluted. We got Road Rules puke and snot and pee all up in it.
So Theo watches lovingly from the boat, staring at a television monitor, apparently having gotten over his earlier spat with James. Mehgan once again warns James about blacking out, making sure to collect her hundred bucks every time she hammers home the danger of a black-out from B/M later. (Shit! I go back to the beginning of the tape to make sure I'd been spelling the mayor's name right -- I haven't. Quick Find/Replace. Thanks Meghghghan. Go slap your parents for me.) Three screens. Theo watching. James diving from the raft. Shot from way deep in the water up. Theo talks to the television like his mama talking back to her stories. Only instead of "I cain't believe you're marrying that scumbag Tad!" it's "C'mon. C'mon. Dude. Kick kick kick." James does a good job of not ascending too quickly, and comes up with the flag. Everyone cheers. B/M editors still sticking with the three screens. You go ahead, people. Do whatever you want. I told you I've given up. Theo mumbles something as we go Timecode again with Msaada on one side, going for twenty feet, and Kathryn on the other, going for twenty-one. Crappy music. No tension. B/M proud of their watercam. They both make it. Cheers. Msaada puts the two flags together on the boat -- and it already looks like the clue is going to be some obscure country's flag. Back to the Timecode as Laterrian goes for twenty and Holly for twenty-three. Mehgan takes a Picabo-esque interest in Holly, giving her extra-special tips before she dives. Mehgan wants to dive. Anyway, they both make it. Holly close-talks to Mehgan about having wanted to go "farther" (ooooooh), while Laterrian, panicking, hits Mehgan, who is simply trying to slow his ascent. Then when he grabs the raft he lies, "That was fun." Heh. On the boat, Holly tries to advise Theo to use weight belts, which help with the descent, but Theo declines. Holly looks sad as someone else also tries to convince Theo to use a belt. As the camera moves around, we are treated to a quick shot of Holly picking her wetsuit from her vagina. Regarding the belt, Theo says, "I just don't want it so easy all the time." Vagina-picking over, Holly goes floaty and complains about Theo being so stubborn about the whole dive. Theo is now on the raft and voice-overs, "Oh, I'm pumped. I'm cool. Nobody knows it, but I've been urinating on myself. I'm pretty much on, like, a urine high. I'm ready to dive." That's it! I quit, MBTV! Jeez. Mehghghghghghgan babbles. Theo dives. B/M editors do their thing. The kids watch the TV. Theo grabs the flag, voice-overing that he's out of air...but that's about it. He comes up fine. Msaada watches. Theo surfaces. Everyone says a secret "damn" that he made it, but they quickly cover and cheer and clap. James exhales. Holly lies, floating that she's glad Theo didn't hurt himself. No cheek star. Has the disease cleared up? Did she buy the right salve? (And while we're asking questions, what happened to the fucking Real World mechanical dog?) B/M continues to try to force a Perfect Strangers-type happy ending for each episode as Holly here says that she's proud of Theo...even though a minute ago she was complaining about him...and picking at her vagina...which isn't really relevant but I just like saying it.
The kids put the six pieces together and it indeed makes a flag. The kids don't know where it's from, though. DaveHolmesJames floats, "I know this flag, but I don't know where." Msaada guesses South Africa and they think she's right. FloatyEternallyStuffed-upLaterrian deadpans one of the funniest and truest lines of the season, "We see the flag and knowing all six of our ignorant asses, we're not sure what country the flag's is for." James and Theo hug each other too enthusiastically. Laterrian floats, "Holy [beep]." Msaada jumps into James' arms as the others hug. Wouldn't it be funny if they were wrong and the flag wasn't for South Africa at all, but actually, like, Saskatchewan or something? (Not that a trip to lovely Saskatchewan would be bad, people. ["And it would be a shout-out to me." -- Wing Chun]) A very happy Msaada floats, "Oh, god. What is there to think about going to Africa? It's absolutely amazing." (May I just cynically point out here that B/M chose to show only the two black cast members after announcing a trip to Africa?) Everyone is still jumping around and, man, Msaada is short. Theo talks to the James, saying something about how a month ago he was in Louisiana taking a shit on the same old toilet. "And here I am going to South Africa, dude. We're some lucky kids, yo. We're some blessed friggin' kids." So we close with a big finish as we get the shot of Theo diving for the flag, over which Theo floats: "If we set our goals to, like, the impossible, dude. If we set 'em, like, almost to the impossible and we score 'em. Dude, the pride we earned there, just in trying for that, is worth everything." Okay. One: I thought pride was a sin. Pride is not a goal, Theo. Pride is not what you strive for. Someone else (was it Holly?) talked about them taking away her "glory," too. These kids are whacked...yo. And two: Theo called us "Dude." Twice. I feel sort of honored and ill and melancholy all at the same time.
, on Road Rules...the kids are at the South African White Shark Research Institute. "What kind of sharks are we talking about here?" asks Theo of their instructor. "Great White." James freaks out. Shots of the kids in a cage with the shark biting on it. Now the kids on the boat as the sharks circle and jump. Msaada drives a short bus with the kids in it and yells back at James, viciously, "Shut the [beep] up, you!" She sounds like Pesci, here. It's very funny. Garbled talk from the cast. "It must be nice to be a [beep] piece of tofu, dude," says James back, looking around to Theo for support. I don't think even Theo could extract the meaning from that one. Kathryn asks them to stop the short bus if they're going to argue and Msaada says, a seriously evil glint in her eyes, "Naw, I'm gonna kill all of us. I don't care." Two reactions. One: Kick ass! Msaada angry. Thank you! Some screen time! And two: Psst...do it, Msaada. You just be sure to jump out at the last minute, right before the short bus goes off the cliff. We won't tell.
The kids voice-over talk of vomiting as we see them vomiting again. Kathryn says that when she threw up her Snickers, it was so gross that she wanted to "vomit from [her] vomit." Theo says, "I vomited and I had a great time with it...It's all about how you take control of the vomit and not let the vomit take control of you." Kathryn goes on to say that the last time she totally let the vomit take control of her. Theo agrees. We see the kids and they're actually talking on those bleachers. Holly is watching, kinda Scaryteeth laughing, kinda grossed out, kinda trying to participate in the conversation. Sometimes Holly just looks so awkward and somehow sad you want to hug her. But then also sometimes you want to kick her in the shin. Theo concludes, "I was busting my vomit's ass though, dude." (Ending the show with a "dude." Perfect.)