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We pick up right where we left off, last week. Agent Victor "Guyliner" Machado goes after the gunman who aimed at Bridget, but shot Andrew. He gets away, but not before Guyliner nearly rips off the perp's back pocket. A tarot card -- the Tower -- falls out. The FBI guys trace it back to a dry cleaning shop. No. I'm not drinking anything stronger than pink lemonade. I swear.
While Andrew is in surgery, Bridget and Juliet sweat it out at the hospital. Don't worry. He lives. By episode's end, he is home in his own bed and he and Bridget are all lovey-dovey again. While Andrew is still under the knife, though, Juliet calls Henry "Tool Belt" Butler and asks him to bring some things to her. When Bridget-as-Shiv explains that Andrew took a bullet for her, Henry realizes that perhaps Real Shiv has been blowing smoke up his ass about Andrew trying to kill her. Back at his place, Henry tells off Shiv and kicks her to the curb. Oh no. If he keeps smartening up, I might have to stop calling him Tool Belt.
Henry asks his father-in-law, Tim Arbogast, to take the invisible twins for the weekend. When Tim picks them up, Henry tells him that he should take his money out of Martin Charles. We later learn that to convince Tim of the Ponzi scheme, Henry gave him the flash drive. That's because Henry killed Tyler "Boytoy" Barrett, but it was an accident, which I'll explain in the recap. Really, if you ask me, that murder rests squarely at the feet of hotel housekeeping.
Shiv leaves Henry a message. Without him, nothing matters, so she's going to visit Andrew and reveal herself. Henry rushes to the hospital and stops her just in time. While they're talking in the hall, Bridget-As-Shiv shows up to visit Andrew. Shiv ducks out of sight. Henry leaves. He ends up taking back Shiv, so I guess he's still a Tool Belt.
In other news, no one can find Olivia. Juliet (who is supposed to Miami with Catherine) goes missing. Andrew suspects Olivia took her, but Bridget finds Juliet at the beach house. Juliet confesses to Bridget about the scheme with Mr. Carpenter, Tessa, and Catherine. When they get back to Park Ave., Bridget is going to tell Andrew, but Guyliner is already at the apartment. He tells her he found one of Macawi's minions -- dead -- and thinks he was in town to kill "Shiv," thinking she was Bridget. Dun dun dun.
Unlike last week, a lot happened, including Bridget telling Andrew about the man she killed. I'll be back with all of it in the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where we pack for every kind of weather.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Hey Ringlets! A lot happens this week, so let's get right to the story. We return right were we left off last week. Andrew has just been shot. Bridget applies pressure to the wound (and gives us epic Buffy boo-boo face), while Solomon calls 911. Meanwhile, Agent Victor "Guyliner" Machado is off in hot pursuit of the shooter. He confronts the masked man in an alley, but then a club lets out so the shooter runs into the crowd. Guyliner pursues him and almost stops him from hopping a fence. For a second, I think he's going to pants the guy, but instead he just rips off his back pocket. Something falls to the ground. The perp kicks Guyliner in his handsome face and gets away. Guyliner picks up the fallen item. It's a tarot card -- the Tower. Title card.
Juliet finds Bridget in the hospital waiting room. Bridget tells Juliet that someone tried to shoot her and Andrew jumped in front of the bullet. He's in surgery right now and it will be a few hours before they know anything. Poor Juliet. Bridget is the best mother she'll ever have.
Over at Gramercy Park, Shiv and Henry are sleeping when he gets a phone call from Juliet telling him about the shooting. When Henry tells Shiv there was a shooting at the loft, she nearly has a hate-gasm as she asks, "Bridget?" She's surprised to hear that it's Andrew. Henry's off to pick up a few things from Park Ave and bring them to the hospital.
FBI Office: Guyliner exposits to Agent Handsome about the symbolism behind the Tower tarot card. I will spare you. Guyliner figures the shooter is on his way to Canada now, so there's no sense focusing on him. Instead, he wants to look at the fact that all these Martin/Charles employees -- Tyler, Malcolm, Andrew -- are dead, missing or injured. Handsome says SEC Agent Lanfair reports the Martin/Charles case is going on the back burner, because without Tyler, they have no evidence. Guyliner is frustrated that the growing body count isn't keeping the case front and center. He hands the tarot card off to Handsome. "You can figure out why our hitman was carrying that." Meanwhile, Guyliner will try to figure out how Malcolm got involved in this mess. Hopefully, Andrew will survive to give them some answers.
When Henry arrives at the hospital, Juliet is sleeping with her head in Bridget's lap. Henry takes in Bridget's tears as he offers to get her coffee and asks how Andrew is. She tells him someone tried to shoot her and Andrew saved her. Henry asks, "Who'd want to shoot you?" Is it just me or does Bridget almost look guilty as she says, "I don't know." I was gonna crack that the list is too long to sum up, but it may just be Macawi and Shiv. Soon, the surgeon comes out and reports Andrew did just fine and will make a full recovery. Juliet's awake now. Henry cocks his head with interest, as he watches the warm embrace between Bridget and Juliet.
Shiv has been waiting for four hours by the time Henry gets home to Gramercy Park. Shiv can't figure out why the person Andrew hired to shoot her aimed instead at Andrew. Henry explains that Andrew took the bullet for Bridget-as-Shiv.
Henry: Why would he put a hit out on his wife and then change his mind?
Shiv: Because somehow, my bitch sister made him fall in love with her.
Audience: Bitch sister? She's forgotten that Bridget isn't really Siobhan, too!
Henry -- who is getting the creepy lighting treatment that Andrew has received the last few weeks -- tells Siobhan that Andrew and Bridget truly are in love and that her family is doing so much better without her. I kind of like him right now. Then he proposes an alternative theory. He suggests Shiv just said Andrew was going to kill her to hide that she's the real murderer.
Henry: I think you put a hit out on Bridget, and you've been trying to frame Andrew, all along.
Shiv: That's insane.
Audience: THAT'S insane?
Henry: Insanity is believing you, you sociopathic liar.
Shiv: I love you. Everything I've done is for us and our children.
Henry: Like the paternity is a sure thing. Get yer boney arse out of my house. Now.
Recapper: Damn. I might have to stop calling him "Tool Belt."
The morning Bridget is sleeping in a chair at Andrew's bedside. When he stirs, she jumps to her feet and calls him Superman. His first question is whether the gunman has been caught. His second question is where things stand between the two of them. Bridget answers it with a kiss. She soon asks why Andrew went to Malcolm's hotel room. Andrew says Olivia suggested they bribe Malcolm to get out of town. Andrew apologizes for his part in all this and for not being honest from the beginning. Bridget then makes a confession of her own. She tells her about the guy who attacked her at the loft -- and that she killed him. The body disappeared and Bridget was too scared to tell anyone. When Andrew asks why she didn't tell him, Bridget says she wasn't sure he wasn't involved. He says that the time he threatened her, he didn't mean it. Even in their darkest hours he would never hurt her. Since he took a bullet for her and all, Bridget's pretty sure he means it. She also figures Malcolm is not the one who texted her to come to the loft. She wonders if he told Olivia that Shiv-as-Bridget is aware of the Ponzi scheme at Martin/Charles. Andrew says she is. He was to handle Shiv-as-Bridget and Malcolm and Olivia would take care of Tyler Barrett.
Andrew: You don't think?
Bridget: Oh yeah I do.
Tim Arbogast arrives at Gramercy Park. He's there to take the invisi-twins off Henry's hands. Henry had another reason for asking him over though. He tells Tim to get his money out of Martin/Charles. Tim says his investment is making money hand over fist.
Guyliner arrives at the hospital with questions for Andrew and Bridget-as-Shiv. He asks why Andrew was at Malcolm's hotel two days ago. He knows a Brit asked to see the surveillance video. Andrew lies that he was concerned for Malcolm's whereabouts. When the desk clerk told Andrew that Malcolm checked out, Andrew asked about the tapes. Guyliner pokes at Andrew about this a little more, but Andrew sticks to his story. Bridget is shocked to hear Malcolm was on his way to the FBI office when he disappeared -- to give a statement about Macawi kidnapping him. Guyliner also asks if Andrew has heard from Olivia. He hasn't. When Guyliner leaves, Bridget starts to blame herself for asking Andrew to give Malcolm a job, but Andrew stops her. He says that no one knew what Olivia was capable of.
Andrew: That woman's never been a victim in her entire life.
Juliet: I wanna say the episode title!
Recapper: I think you're being punished for that whole Carpenter scheme, Jules. Now you're not in this scene, so shoo.
Bridget: Well, we need to find Olivia and I know just the guy who can do it.
Solomon knocks on Olivia's door. When there's no answer, he picks the lock and lets himself in. The place is relatively tidy, although we get a quick shot of what looks a piece of empty luggage and a sweater or something lying on the floor. There's unopened mail too. Solomon looks through the paperwork, but finds nothing of consequence. Then he sees a notepad. He rubs a pencil over the top sheet to reveal what had been written on it, before. Sheeesh, Olivia bears down hard when she writes. Then again, she has that vampire strength. Anyhow, the rubbing reveals it reads: "ZS ." Before Sol leaves, he looks at Olivia's phone. The last outgoing call was to the police on February 26, 2012 at 11:20 AM. Note: The show came back from winter hiatus three weeks later than it was scheduled to. Had it come back as scheduled and run without interruption, we would have seen that episode on February 28. In other words, that call was placed just a day or two ago in show time. Solomon leaves the apartment, just as the manager is leading Agent Guyliner and a uniformed officer up the stairs. Solomon runs up a flight to see and hear without being detected.
Guyliner knocks on Olivia's door. When there's no answer, he gestures toward the manager to unlock the door, but then notices scrapings on the lock. He realizes the lock has been opened without a key. Asking the manager to wait outside, Guyliner and the uniform draw their weapons. The uniform runs to the second floor of the apartment, while Guyliner searches the main floor. Out in the hallway, Solomon makes it downstairs and past the manager without detection.
Back in Olivia's apartment, Guyliner's phone rings. It's Handsome, with information on the tarot card. SNORE. It's from a Hoboken printer and their decks are distributed all over the tri-state area to about a dozen magic shops and a dry cleaners that's owned by a Remy Osterman.
Solomon reports back to Bridget at the hospital. After telling her about his close call with Machado, he says that everything else he saw in the apartment points to Olivia leaving in a hurry. He also gives Bridget the piece of notepad paper.
When Juliet arrives in Andrew's hospital room, Catherine is there calling her "Angel." You can practically see Juliet's skin crawl. Andrew explains that he, Catherine and Siobhan have decided it's not safe for Juliet to remain in New York. Cattie's going to bring her to Miami. Juliet begs to stay and even says she doesn't want to go with "her." When she stomps off, Cattie goes after her.
Catherine: Juliet, we are getting what we always wanted -- freedom from those two vampires.
Juliet: I want nothing to do with you.
Catherine: Get over yourself. What we did bonds us forever, so I suggest you get used to it.
Siobhan's in the back of a cab. She leaves a voice mail for Henry, acknowledging she's lied too much. She promises she didn't hire someone to kill Bridget though, and swears she never lied about loving him. She's going to the hospital to tell Andrew the truth about everything, but none of this means anything to Shiv if she can't be with Henry.
Juliet's back at Park Ave., packing, when Bridget comes home and brings her a little gift. Juliet is in full, sullen teen mode, so she shoves the gift bag into her suitcase, unopened. Bridget notices Juliet is packing things like woolen hats and scarfs and reminds her of Miami's general climate. Juliet dissembles with some blather about fashion. She's tired of being bounced back and forth like a ping pong ball. Bridget reminds her Andrew just got shot and tells her she's precious goods they'll do anything to protect.
Catttie is waiting in the foyer, just staring at the ginormous photo of Shiv. It's just a momentary sight gag. I don't even know if it qualifies as a sight gag, but it cracks me up. Cattie comments that Juliet is traveling light. Juliet claims she has everything she needs.
Buffy: Oh c'mon, Nice Me! Clearly the kid is going to run! She's not listening. Why is she not listening?
Recapper: You're asking me that? Do you know how different your life would be if... never mind. Let's get back to Ringer.
The elevator arrives. Juliet and Catherine enter.
Bridget: Juliet, you can call us anytime, day or night.
Juliet: Do me a favor, Siobhan? Lose my number.
Audience: That's gotta sting.
As Juliet and Cattie make their way to the car, Juliet asks if they can stop by the school so she can say goodbye to a few people. Catherine foolishly agrees. As they enter the car, we zoom out. Then we see red frames around them, as if someone is taking surveillance photos.
Henry is at home when he gets Shiv's voice mail about going to the hospital to tell Andrew everything.
Guyliner enters the Finer Dry Cleaning shop and asks the woman at the desk for Remy Osterman. She says he's not in and asks to take a message. Guyliner pulls out the tarot card. She says there used to be a woman in the shop who did readings on the side. The boss liked the cards, so he gave them out as coupons. When the woman died a year ago, they stopped the promotion. Guyliner notes that using the card as a coupon is a little weird, since there's nothing on it that identifies the shop's name or address. She chalks that up to being the boss's call. Guyliner confirms that Remy Osterman is the boss and asks when he's expected in. The woman gets twitchy and says the boss doesn't give her his schedule. Guyliner gives her his business card and asks her to have the boss call him. Once Guyliner leaves the shop, the woman picks up her phone and makes a call. "The card just came in, courtesy of FBI Agent Victor Machado." Out in his car, Guyliner makes a call to the office and says he wants everything they can dig up on the dry cleaners. "They're hiding something. We're going to find it."
Shiv is wearing a big black winter coat when she enters Andrew's hospital room. Henry rushes down the hall, but he has to submit to being frisked before he can get in the room. He bursts in the door and asks Shiv if they can talk, then asks Andrew how he's feeling. As Shiv walks out with Henry, Andrew's phone rings and I get REALLY EXCITED, JUST POSITIVE THAT IT WILL BE BRIDGET ON THE PHONE, so of course we cut away to the corridor. Blast.
Henry asks if Shiv told Andrew the truth. She hasn't, but she wants the lies to end. Shiv, I'm pretty sure if all your lies ended, you'd just cease to exist. She says they can start over somewhere else. Since Shiv is willing to throw it all away and make a fresh start, Henry is getting stupid again, so I guess I don't have to worry about giving up the Tool Belt nickname anytime soon. I'm sad for him, though. He grew so much when he tossed Shiv to the curb and now he's undoing it all. His one saving grace? I think he's a bit of a Bridget/Andrew 'shipper, which is really kind of sweet. Shiv swears nothing means anything if they can't be together. Henry says he wants to be together. She promises she won't hide anything from him anymore.
Audience: Note that "anymore" Henry. You still don't know she was responsible for having Gemma kidnapped by the guy who ultimately killed her.
Henry says Shiv isn't the only person who has been hiding things. And you know what he's been hiding? Well, you probably do because you likely already watched the episode, but we're not going to find out quite yet because Bridget is coming down the hall. Shiv takes off before she's spotted. Henry meets up with Bridget in the hall and tells her Andrew's doing fine, but Henry's going to hit the road because he's got a lot to do. I keep waiting for him to make up something to talk about with her, so that when she returns to the room and Andrew asks what Henry wanted, Bridget won't think something is weird. But then I remember Henry is still our Tool Belt. Silly me.
Bridget enters Andrew's hospital room. She oh so coincidentally happens to be wearing exactly what Real Shiv was wearing, so Andrew seemingly still has no clue that he's being duped. To be fair to our Welsh Rarebit, though, he's got other concerns. As you've surely figured out by now, it wasn't Bridget who called. It was Catherine who called. Juliet is missing. What a non-surprise. Commercial.
At the hospital, Catherine explains about taking Juliet to school to say goodbye to her friends.
Cattie: She went into the bathroom and the thing I knew, she was gone.
Audience: Did she bring her suitcase into the school with her? How about the bathroom?
Andrew: Why the hell did you let her out of your sight?
Cattie: I was outside for three seconds. I didn't think she needed me to help her wipe.
Andrew: She'd have been safer here, with us.
Cattie: I'm going back to the school to look for her. What is the address?
Andrew: 1281 Second Avenue.
Bridget: I'm very good at anagrams and puzzles.
Andrew: How's that now?
Bridget: Look at this rubbing. It reads: ZS . Do you think the 3 could be an 8? Zachary Secor nd Avenue.
Cop: What's that?
Andrew: Here police officer, take a look at this paper we got from a guy we paid to break into Olivia's apartment, because that's not illegal or anything, right?
Cop: That's the school's street address.
Andrew: I think Olivia Charles is the one who took Juliet.
Back at his Gramercy home, Tool Belt smooches Siobhan and then confesses he didn't tell her the whole truth about Tyler Barrett. In a flashback, we watch Henry get a maid to let him into Tyler's room. He claims he left the key inside. She says it happens all the time. Henry hands her a tip and goes inside. While he's digging for the flash drive, he's surprised by Tyler who has been in the bathroom. Tyler, poor noodle, still thinks Henry is Siobhan's brother. Henry scoffs and asks Tyler if he can't see he's being used. Tyler tells Henry he's been sleeping with Shiv for months. Henry sighs and says he just wants the flash drive. Tyler punches Henry. The whole thing devolves into fisticuffs and yet I am not your action recapper. In their struggle, the two men fall to the floor. Tyler bangs the back of his head on a table. And he's dead. Henry tries to catch his breath, then he rifles through Tyler's pockets for the flash drive. When he finds it, he plants a duplicate in Tyler's pocket.
Back in the present, Henry tells Shiv it was an accident. He didn't tell her because after learning she was screwing Tyler, he couldn't trust her. Shiv meekly takes the blame and apologizes for getting him mixed up in everything. She says since they now have the flash drive, it should all be over soon, but Henry confesses he gave it to Tim Arbogast as proof he should pull his investment.
Andrew's home from the hospital wearing a sling on his right arm, but since he's sure Olivia took the kid, he's blaming himself for her disappearance. If he hadn't agreed to the Ponzi scheme, he'd still have his girl at home. Bridget tells him to stop. All that matters is finding Juliet and they will. She can't figure out what Olivia would want with Juliet. Andrew says all he can figure is that Olivia is going to use Juliet to blackmail Andrew into shouldering all the blame for the scheme.
Bridget: Wouldn't Olivia contact you to let you know what she wants?
Andrew: I'd think so. Where could she be hiding Juliet?
Recapper: In her crypt?
Buffy: No, Cindy. While Olivia is a vampire, she did not grab Juliet. Remember the kid was packing woolens for Miami. She took off. Nice Me is going to figure it out any second. Come on Nice Me, you can do it!
Bridget: I don't think Olivia is behind this.
Buffy: Atta girl!
Day turns to night. Agent Handsome tells Guyliner that the woman at the dry cleaners is May Patel and her green card expired seven months prior. Guyliner thinks there's more to it than protecting illegals and asks for the deal on Osterman. Handsome says he's been suspected of extortion, racketeering and armed robbery. He's been indicted 16 times, but the last time he was convicted was for petty theft almost 20 years ago. Guyliner says it sounds like someone he knew back in Why-Oh-Why, Wyoming. Just then, he gets a phone call.
We cut to the park at night. There are officers on the scene, which has been cordoned off. A detective hands Guyliner Malcolm Ward's ID. Oh, no! Did they kill Malcolm? The detective leads Guyliner to the body, which was found buried in a shallow grave. As they uncover the body, Guyliner covers his nose and mouth with his hands because the corpse is "pretty gamey." Thanks for that, Show. I'll use this commercial break to go throw up.
Bridget arrives at the Martins' East Hampton beach house. Juliet is sitting there, wearing her hat and gloves and wrapped in a blanket, because she didn't know how to use the thermostat. Seriously? She's 16, right?
Juliet: Don't blame me. The writers made me say that. How did you find me here?
Bridget: I could have bought you taking a scarf to Miami, but the hat and gloves were just a little too much. Besides, I remember that in the last episode, you said you wanted us to take a few days here. You scared us to death. We thought Olivia took you.
Juliet: Olivia, no. I just didn't want to be with my mother.
Bridget: Okay, kiddo. Spill. I spent a lot of time hiding things from the people I love.
Audience: Like oh say, now, for instance.
Bridget: My point is that it only hurts people. I won't let that happen anymore, especially to you.
Juliet: Remember when Dad took away my trust fund? My mom came up with a plan that she said would change our lives. The first step was finding two willing participants, which I did -- Tessa Troublemaker and Mr. "Logan Echolls" Carpenter.
As Juliet and Bridget enter Park Ave, Juliet pleads with "Shiv" not to tell Andrew, because he'll hate her forever. Bridget looks pretty determined to come clean with Andrew though, at least about this -- and at least until she finds Agent Guyliner in her fake bedroom with her fake husband. After Juliet and Andrew hug, Bridget sends Juliet to her room and then asks Guyliner why he's there. He has information about the shooting. Guyliner tells her a body has been found. We flash back to the park. Guyliner covers his nose and mouth. The cops uncover the corpse's face. It's not Malcolm. Yay!
Back in the present, Guyliner tells Bridget and Andrew that it was Daniel Eknath, one of Macawi's lieutenants. Can't any of these people be named John Smith? He also tells her Malcolm's wallet was found near the spot. Bridget's eyes brim with tears as she asks if Eknath killed Malcolm. Guyliner isn't sure, but it doesn't look good. Guyliner believes Eknath is the person who shot at Bridget-as-Shiv and hit Andrew. He figures Eknath didn't know that Bridget has a twin sister. When Eknath aimed his gun at Bridget-as-Shiv, he thought he was aiming at Bridget -- you know, because he was. Guyliner tells them that if Macawi believes "Shiv" is Bridget, he'll come after her again. Grr argh.
Okay, I'm just about out of time, but I've had two stray thoughts throughout this episode. There's a little crazy, but hey they're about Ringer so the bar is already low. Part of me likes to think that Shiv went to Bodaway and said she'd lure Bridget away from Machado, so Bodaway could kill her. That's why Bodaway's man, Officer Jimmy, was willing to cooperate with Shiv. Also, I somehow think that Catherine and Olivia are in cahoots about something or other. Just think of that until time.
I'll back week with coverage of "Let's Kill Bridget." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where we pack for every kind of weather.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.
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As Juliet and Bridget enter Park Ave, Juliet pleads with "Shiv" not to tell Andrew, because he'll hate her forever. Bridget looks pretty determined to come clean with Andrew though, at least about this -- and at least until she finds Agent Guyliner in her fake bedroom with her fake husband. After Juliet and Andrew hug, Bridget sends Juliet to her room and then asks Guyliner why he's there. He has information about the shooting. Guyliner tells her a body has been found. We flash back to the park. Guyliner covers his nose and mouth. The cops uncover the corpse's face. It's not Malcolm. Yay!
Back in the present, Guyliner tells Bridget and Andrew that it was Daniel Eknath, one of Macawi's lieutenants. Can't any of these people be named John Smith? He also tells her Malcolm's wallet was found near the spot. Bridget's eyes brim with tears as she asks if Eknath killed Malcolm. Guyliner isn't sure, but it doesn't look good. Guyliner believes Eknath is the person who shot at Bridget-as-Shiv and hit Andrew. He figures Eknath didn't know that Bridget has a twin sister. When Eknath aimed his gun at Bridget-as-Shiv, he thought he was aiming at Bridget -- you know, because he was. Guyliner tells them that if Macawi believes "Shiv" is Bridget, he'll come after her again. Grr argh.
Okay, I'm just about out of time, but I've had two stray thoughts throughout this episode. There's a little crazy, but hey they're about Ringer so the bar is already low. Part of me likes to think that Shiv went to Bodaway and said she'd lure Bridget away from Machado, so Bodaway could kill her. That's why Bodaway's man, Officer Jimmy, was willing to cooperate with Shiv. Also, I somehow think that Catherine and Olivia are in cahoots about something or other. Just think of that until time.
I'll back week with coverage of "Let's Kill Bridget." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where we pack for every kind of weather.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!