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The big news first: Gemma lives! The Butler twins exist; they are ginger and adorable. NA Charlie's real name is John ICan'tRememberHisLastName. Bridget realizes she's falling in love with Andrew. Andrew seems aware that not all of Martin/Charles Financial's dealings are on the up and up, but now that his "wife" is nice, he's maybe ready to clean up his act. This displeases Olivia, who, against Andrew's wishes and behind his back, manipulates Henry, so she can get closer to Gemma's ailing dad's money. Also, when Olivia gets a moment alone with Henry's cell phone, she finds a tellingly cozy photo of Henry and Shiv, so she e-mails it to herself.
As for the rest of it? Well, NA Charlie is keeping Gemma bound, gagged and blindfolded in the basement of his real house. Remember how Bridget brought a jonesing Malcolm to Charlie's apartment? Well, that's his fake flat. Mal twigs to this early on, when he notices Charlie has alcohol-laden mouthwash in his bathroom (which people in recovery eschew). Additionally, Mal notices the TV remote hasn't been used. The batteries or battery compartment, or perhaps the remote itself (sorry my notes suck) are/is still wrapped in plastic. Malcolm lets Bridget know something's fishy with her new sponsor.
Bridget decides to go see Siobhan's therapist. She wants to understand why Siobhan killed herself. The therapist is surprised that "Shiv" booked her appointment under her real name. Bridget declares herself the new "Shiv" and manages to get the therapist to confirm that the alias Siobhan used was "Cora" (the name Tyler called her, when she met him at dinner last week). It is during this session that Bridget realizes she is falling in love with Andrew.
The therapist isn't nearly as talky as Shiv's lawyer was a few weeks ago, so later, Bridget sneaks back in her office, to take a look at Shiv's file. The therapist catches her in the act, but not before Bridget manages to swipe her patient notes. I'll hit those in the full weecap, but suffice it to say, Bridget learns Shiv was afraid someone was out to get her. She also sees a notation that Shiv found what she needed at some church.
Bridget finds the church, which is no longer a house of worship. In it is a bar, and guess who's sitting at the bar, swilling whiskey? NA Charlie, aka John. When Bridget reports this to Malcolm, they decide to investigate, further.
Bridget calls Charlie and requests some quality sponsor time, giving Malcolm the chance to go to John's house (they found the address earlier) and snoop. Bridget has a hard time stretching out her meeting with Charlie, though, so Malcolm never quite gets down to the padlocked basement to rescue poor Gemma, who even manages to tip over her chair. (How does she go to the bathroom?!) Anyhow, when Charlie leaves his meeting with Bridget, he calls Siobhan in Paris, and tells her that Bridget it onto him.
That's not even the half of it. I'll be back with the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where no one puts Gemma in a corner basement.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Tiny bubbles in my soap. Tiny bubbles make me feel dope. Okay, sorry, but I just think this week's episode did everything a nighttime soap is supposed to do and it made me a little high. Let's get right to it, shall we?
Park Ave, Day: Later in this episode we'll learn that six weeks have passed since Bridget first went to Shiv in the Hamptons. Maybe that matters less now that Andrew knows "Shiv" is "no longer" pregnant, but I still like to keep track. We open on Bridget and Andrew making out in their bedroom. Sadly, they're sitting up and fully clothed. And no, I have no idea why wardrobe has my pretty Buffy in that one shoulder brown blouse crowned with a bloom of butt-ugliness. She's tiny, blonde and attractive. It isn't that difficult to dress her, people.
Anyhow, Andrew wants to take his "wife" on a fabulous vacation with world-class beaches, just to make sure I keep on loving him, and so I do. Poor Bridget suggests "Lauderdale?" Andrew laughs and declares Turks and Caicos is the place to be. He also brings back the wedding gown that Juliet damaged during one of her hissy fits, and tells "Shiv" that if she wants to have a go at wrecking Juliet's wardrobe, he'll turn a blind eye. But since Bridget is the kinder, gentler Siobhan, she refuses. She starts to panic when Andrew goes to store the gown on the top shelf of their dressing room, because that's where she has Officer Jimmy's gun. She manages to convince Andrew to let her take care of it and sends him off to the kitchen, so that we can have an...
Answerful Flashback, Wyoming: Office Jimmy enters Bridget's motel room. She clocks him and cuts his head. Surprised when her intruder turns out to be her body guard, she asks Jimmy why he's sneaking in her room. He tells her she can't trust anyone, neither the cops nor the feds, so he's asking her to run, now. I KNEW IT (well, sorta). I definitely suspected there was something more to Bridget's escape from protective custody. Jimmy tells Bridget to flee to her family and tries to give her his gun. She refuses it. When she leaves the room to gather her stuff, Jimmy hides his gun in her bag, because he needs to explain how she got away. I'd still like to know how Jimmy managed to duct tape his own damn fool self in the shower, but am so glad we got these answers.
Present, NYC: Bridget calls NA Charlie and asks him how she can get rid of a cop's gun which could be traced back to her "sister." Jimmy offers to take care of it, saying you can't max out good will. He's busy making a sandwich, and once he's done, he throws down his knife. It lands tip first in the butcher block table. What is he, the Braveheart of 12 Stepping?
Bridget asks if Malcolm is with Charlie. He says, "No, I left him at the apartment." Then as he opens a padlocked basement door, he lies, "I am at the public library, because my computer went down. [...] I do have good news for you on the Gemma front." He says a cop buddy got Gemma's bank statements and he's reviewing them right now. What he's actually doing is bringing that sandwich down to the cellar, where he has a still living GEMMA tied to a chair. She's blindfolded, and her mouth is covered with duct tape. Jimmy says he's going to take off the tape, but she is not to cry or scream or otherwise raise hell. Then he utters the episode title: "You are going to shut up and eat your bologna." Poor Gemma, but yay, Gemma! Title card
Brooklyn NA Meeting: Malcolm sings Charlie's praises for taking him in and helping him get clean and back into meetings. Bridget walks in while Mal is saying he hasn't used in six days. Bridget beckons to Charlie to meet her out in the hall. Once there, she gives him the gun, still wrapped in one of Shiv's scarfs. When Charlie asks how her "sister" stole the cop's gun, Bridget says, "She didn't," so that we can have another...
Answerful Flashback, Six Weeks Ago, Hamptons Beach House: Bridget finds Jimmy's gun in her bag, but before she can process it, Shiv comes in for some chit chat, and tells her to get some rest, because they have "big plans" for tomorrow. Understatement!
Brooklyn NA Meeting: Bridget tells Charlie she doesn't know how her "sister" got the gun. "I just know I want it gone."
Martin/Charles Financial, Wall St.: Henry and his twins, his adorable ginger twin toddler boys, are visiting Andrew who has some dividend reinvestment forms for Henry to sign. But who cares about that? The twins exist! Andrew is charmed by them, even when they act like...well, toddlers, with Andrew's decorations. Olivia slithers in, and Andrew asks Tool Belt if Gemma's parents are helping him out. It seems not so much -- as Gemma's father, Tim, isn't doing well. It's heart stuff -- a by-pass, a stent. Olivia tries to hide her orgasm-face, inspired, no doubt, by the thought of the wealthy Tim Arbogast with one foot in the grave.
Coffee Shop: Bridget confesses to Malcolm that she gave Officer Jimmy's gun to Charlie and that he's going to get rid of it. He thinks she might need the protection and says she should have talked to him first, but Bridget can't have it in the house, when Andrew is just starting to trust her. Malcolm: "You're pretending to be his dead wife! How can there be any trust in that? I'm sorry, but this Prince Charming fantasy you've got going with Andrew -- it was supposed to be temporary. This is not your life." La la la. Nice Buffy and I can't hear you Malcolm. We LURVES him. Bridget says she knows that, but she can't leave 'til she finds out who was trying to hurt Shiv.
Park Ave: Bridget rifles through Shiv's desk and wardrobe. When she finds a prescription bottle, she calls the prescribing doctor and makes an appointment for "Siobhan Martin."
Psychiatrist's Office: Look, I don't know if this nameless character (played by the lovely and talented Merle Dandridge (who appeared in the "Home" episode of Buffy's boyfriend's show, Angel) is a psychiatrist or a psychologist. The session seems more like she's a psychologist, but she prescribes meds, so I'm calling her a psychiatrist, okay? Okay. Glad we got that out of the way. Anyhow, Bridget comes in for Shiv's session and sits on the couch instead of the armchair, which the shrink immediately comments on. Bridget has less success pumping Shrinky for information than she did when she went to see that divorce lawyer however many weeks ago. She does pick up on one thing though, before we go to commercial, and she picks up on that thing when Shrinky asks, "Why are you calling yourself Siobhan Martin?"
After the break, Shrinky clarifies that Shiv never uses her real name when booking appointments. Bridget flashes back to her dinner with Andrew, Olivia and Tyler. Tyler says, "I didn't realize I was sleeping with the boss's wife." Bridget says, "Excuse me?" Tyler: "Is that why you told me your name was Cora?"
Back in the present, Bridget whispers, "Cora," and Shrinky finishes, "Cora Farrell." Bridget declares herself the new and improved Siobhan which is no lie, if you squint hard and the light is just right. When the therapist asks how her life has been different since last they spoke, Bridget says her marriage is better; she has ended her affair; and Juliet no longer hates her. Shrinky says that since "Shiv" could do all this work outside of therapy, it's surprising she's back now. She asks what made her book the appointment. Bridget hems and haws. Shrinky pushes. "Something must have felt different this morning." Bridget flashes on her morning make-out session with Andrew, so I take a moment and flash on mine. Back in the present, she tells Shrinky, "Oh my God. I'm falling in love with Andrew." There's a beat that gives Shrinky time to raise her eyebrows. Bridget then adds, "...All over again."
Martin/Charles Financial: Andrew and his assistant Claudine are trying to schedule Andrew and "Shiv's" vacation, when Olivia oozes in. After Claudine is gone, Olivia insists that now is the time to hit Arbogast, since he's sick, and vulnerable over Gemma's disappearance. Andrew refuses to shake down Henry for access to Arbogast. Olivia points that they've lost two of their last six investors. "If we don't land someone to cover those losses, you know what that could mean." Andrew dons his resolve face and leaves the office.
Psychiatrist's Office: Bridget blathers on and on about how happy and surprised Andrew seems that things are going well between the three of us... I mean the two of them. Ahem. "I don't want it to end. I want to keep surprising him." When the session is over, Bridget asks if she needs her prescription refilled. Shrinky says no. Bridget: "So, you don't think I'm depressed, anymore?" Shrinky says, "Siobhan, you know I didn't prescribe those antidepressants for depression." Bridget watches as Shrinky files her latest patient notes, and then leaves.
Charlie's Fake Flat: When Malcolm spends too long in the bathroom, Charlie knocks and ask if he's okay. Mal says he is, rinsing his face and turning to leave when a bottle of mouthwash catches his eye, not literally, because that would sting. Most mouthwash contains alcohol, and most addicts who are working a 12 Step program avoid all intoxicating substances. Mal brings the mouthwash out to Charlie and says he doesn't know if he can risk being around it right now. Charlie takes it, dumps it down the sink, and apologizes, saying it belonged to an ex-girlfriend.
After Charlie leaves his fake flat, Malcolm calls Bridget and tells her what happened. He says he was afraid Charlie might be using again, so he snooped. While there was no drugs or alcohol, the whole set up is weird. Charlie has four pairs of socks, four pairs of boxers and three t-shirts. "The batteries in the remote? They're still shrink-wrapped." Okay...then, how did they fit in the battery compartment? Never mind. Malcolm says Charlie claims to have lived there for months, "And he's never used his remote. Can you really trust this guy?" No. Not if he never watches TV. Seriously. No.
Bridget is loitering in the lobby of Shrinky's building. When Shrinky gets off the elevator and leaves the premises, Bridget cuts Malcolm short and says she'll call him back. She returns to Shrinky's office and asks to use the bathroom. Since the office is closed for lunch, the receptionist tries to send her to the other side of the building, but Bridget takes the key and thanks the receptionist, then sneaks into Shrinky's office. She finally find's Cora/Siobhan's patient file. She grabs the notes from Actual-Shiv's last session and then hears someone approaching. She stows the sheet and returns the file to Shrinky's desk. Shrinky opens the door. "Siobhan? What are you doing here?" Commercial.
Shrinky threatens to call Security, but Bridget lies that she wants to talk some more and couldn't wait 'til her session. Shrinky tells her if she wanted more time, she should have called. Bridget: "I thought therapy wasn't about judgment." Ha! We cut to the women exiting the elevator. Shrinky says she'd have to reassess if they can continue therapy together. Bridget says she understands. Finally alone with the patient notes, Bridget unfolds them. They read:
July 17, 2011
Says someone "out to get her"
Complains of sleeplessness
Prescribed antidepressant for paranoia
Patient feared for safety
Convinced she had a stalker
Says she found answer at Gramercy Cathedral
Martin/Charles Financial: Olivia continues to push Andrew to work Henry for an Arbogast contact. Andrew is reluctant and rises to leave. Olivia asks where he's off to in such a hurry, just as Bridget arrives and asks Andrew if he's ready. Andrew smiles. "I invited my wife to lunch." Bridget and Olivia trade sneery smiles.
Lunch: Bridget asks Andrew if he caught the look Olivia shot her. He thinks Olivia is just upset that Andrew won't pursue Tim Arbogast as an investor. Bridget thinks Andrew's doing the right thing, since Gemma is still missing. Andrew proposes a thought experiment. "What if all of it were at stake? Again, it's not. It's just an experiment. What if doing the right thing cost us everything -- the loft, the apartment, the house in the Hamptons, the clothes?" Bridget cringes. "Even the sushi?" Andrew laughs and says yes, even that. "Would you...would you stand with me?" I will. I will. Ooh, pick me! Like me, Bridget is but a 14-year-old girl in the flush of first love. She smiles and nods. "I'd stand with you." Andrew, who is holding her hand, kisses it, and then asks what she has planned for the day. Bridget: "What would you say if I said I was going to church?" Andrew: "You? In church? You'd melt." Bridget utters a very-Buffy, "Hey!" Andrew reminds her of the fight she put up over a church wedding. Bridget covers: "No, not seriously. Just a thought experiment." They smile, laugh and make googly eyes at each other, but sadly there's no more kissing.
Fake Flat: When Charlie gets back, Mal apologizes for putting up a stink over the mouthwash. They chat and then Charlie goes to take a shower, so Malcolm rifles through Charlie's jacket pockets. He finds a wallet, but it is empty of cards, cash, I.D., etc. There is, however, a single key tucked inside. The tag on it reads: "9600 Colonial Rd. # S 18.
Gramercy Cathedral is no longer an open church. It's for sale and one of the entrances is boarded up and covered with graffiti. Quite a few people are exiting through another doorway, though. Bridget notices a man push a wobbly woman out the door.
Post Office (or one of those P.O. box places): Malcolm opens a P.O. box with the key he swiped from Charlie. Inside is a letter; the address label reads: "Mr. John Delario, 96 Colonial Road #S-18, Brooklyn, NY ," which is where we are, right?
Gramercy Cathedral: The lower level is now a bar. Bridget enters, trying to figure out what Shiv would have been doing there, but hides when she sees Charlie sitting at the bar, ordering what the bartender reminds him is his second whiskey. Charlie argues that he hasn't had a drink in five days. "Hit me." The bartender says, "Whatever you say, John." Commercial.
Bridget looks like she's going to get sick. A be-do-ragged man asks if he can help her. Bridget says, "Yeah. Have you ever seen him..." (she nods toward Charlie/John) "...in here, with...me?" When Bridget greases his skids with some cash, Do-Rag says, "No, but he's here a lot. He's always drinking whiskey. He's always on his cell." TO YOUR SISTER WHO ISN'T DEAD, NICE BUFFY! Charlie/John is downing his third shot by the time Bridget leaves. Outside the bar she calls Malcolm and tells him to meet her at Fake Flat, ASAP.
Back in the bar, Charlie, who I'm going to call John from now on, unless I forget (I'll probably forget) gets a call from Shiv (still in Paris) who wants to know how things are going with Malcolm. This is a pretty reveal-y conversation, so I'm going to transcribe a lot. John says Malcolm is cleaned up and everything is okay right now. "This guy is no Gemma. He's as determined to keep this secret as Bridget is. Besides, I've only got so much room in that basement. This way's better for now" Shiv: "I'll have to take your word on it." John: "Remember that little thing you were so freaked out about, the day she arrived in New York?" Shiv: "The gun?" John: "Guess who up and gave it to me, today?" Shiv isn't impressed. "What do you want, a medal, John? The only reason she had that gun, in the first place, is that the cop you hired gave it to her." John says, "Yeah, and I told you he needed a story to cover his ass. Jimmy was the only person close enough to Bridget to pull off the job. He got her to you, didn't he?" Shiv sighs. "What. Ever." When she hangs up on him, John just shakes his head.
Martin/Charles Financial: Andrew returns and tells Olivia he's decided it is the wrong time to pursue Arbogast. Olivia wants to know what's changed his mind. Someone needs listening lessons, because Andrew has not been keen on this idea, all episode. He's lovely though, so he doesn't rub that in. Instead, he says, "A month ago, I probably would have done it, but now -- I have other things to live for than our bottom line. Olivia sneers. "Siobhan." Andrew says, "I guess I want to be the man she thinks I am." Once he's gone, Olivia picks up Henry's file and reviews the dividend reinvestment form, Andrew just had him sign. She folds and rips it up.
Park Ave: Malcolm tells Bridget that Charlie's real name is John Delario. She explains how she met him at NA. She can't believe she was such an idiot. Mal reassures her that John went to a lot of trouble to earn her trust. Bridget tells Mal how Shiv was on antidepressants to treat paranoia. "I think she was scared. I think maybe she knew someone was trying to hurt her. And then she went to that bar -- the same bar I saw him at. It can't be a coincidence." No it, can't, Nice Buffy. Put on your thinking cap!
Mal asks if Bridget thinks John is the one after Shiv. Bridget points out that John has had opportunities to hurt her, but hasn't. "Maybe because he knew I had a gun, which I just gave to him. I've gotta get that back." Mal says they need to find out more before they do anything. He shows her the past due bill (termination notice, actually, for $750.00) that he lifted from John's P.O. Box and says he has another address. It's 8440 Louise Terrace, Brooklyn, NY, . Mal is going to check out that address.
Gramercy Park West, Night: Olivia visits Tool Belt and has him sign more forms, claiming he missed a page. She makes nice with him and asks about the kids, who are sleeping. Over drinks, Tool Belt asks Olivia what her story is. Olivia says, "What have you heard?" Tool Belt: "That you're a bitch." Olivia laughs and says it comes with the territory in her line of work. "Andrew used to understand that." She whinges that they're no longer on the same page about doing what needs to be done, then says Henry has enough going on and doesn't need to listen to her. Tool Belt is dying for adult conversation, so he asks her to continue. Olivia says Andrew has lost his killer instinct, ever since he and Siobhan, "...decided to suddenly stop hating each other. It's not just me, right? That was fast." Tool Belt has no idea what changed between the Martins, but would love to know if Olivia figures it out. She says love has made a sap out of Andrew. Their conversation is interrupted by the sound of the Butler babies crying over the monitor.
When Henry goes upstairs to tend to his twins, Olivia grabs his cell phone. On it, she finds a picture of him, with Siobhan. She's looking straight at the camera, all coy and coquettish. Henry's face is pressed against the side of hers, as he looks into her eyes. Olivia purrs with delight. "Oh, Siobhan." Oh, Olivia. It's not like they're nekkid. Bridget can talk her way out of that picture seven different ways before breakfast. Go ahead, do your worst. Holy crap. I think she heard me, because she emails a copy of the photo to herself. She puts the phone down, just before Henry returns, and picks up her stuff. Henry asks if she's in a hurry. She tells him, "Oh, I got what I came for." Hiss.
Coffee Shop: Bridget is waiting for John. When he arrives, he says her voice mail worried him. She tells him some nights are worse than others and apologizes for ripping him away from whatever he was doing. As John explains that he was looking into the Gemma investigation, his voice blurs into a muddle. Bridget watches his mouth as he speaks. Her gaze moves up to his eyes. She takes note of him rubbing his eyebrow. I remember reading once that when people are lying, then tend to touch their faces. Finally, John points out that it seems like she's somewhere else. She says she's just overwhelmed by how far above the sponsor's call of duty he's gone. "I'm just trying to figure out why." John claims he's a good guy. Bridget forces herself to give him her brightest Buffy smile.
Honestly John's House: Malcolm and his trusty flash light poke around, while down in the basement, poor blindfolded, bound and gagged Gemma hears the activity.
Coffee Shop: Bridget tells John she's been a mess, and he's helped with so much between Gemma, Malcolm and the gun. She says she it was a mistake to make it his problem. Truer words, Buff. Truer words...
Honestly John's House: Mal pokes around some more. Gemma tries to make noise. Finally, Mal spots the padlocked basement.
Coffee Ship: John assures Bridget he can make the gun untraceable. She insists she should take it back. John says he's confused. Bridget tells him she needs the gun. John asks why. Bridget: "I don't feel safe, anymore."
Honestly John's House: Mal tries to jiggle open the padlock. Commercial.
Coffee Shop: John asks "Shiv" why she doesn't feel safe. Bridget chalks it up to Gemma's disappearance and says she'd just feel safer if she was armed. John says he gave the gun to a guy who was going to get rid of the serial numbers -- no questions asked. When he goes to leave, Bridget tries to stall him and asks if they can finish their coffee. John can't stay. He has places to be.
Honestly John's House: Gemma tries again to make some noise. Mal struggles with the lock until it dawns on him to find some keys. He finally spies them lying on the kitchen counter.
Coffee Shop: As John goes to leave, Bridget grabs him by the arm. "Charlie, thank you." He says, "You're welcome, Siobhan," and walks out. Once he's gone, Bridget sits down, grabs her phone and texts Malcolm.
Honestly John's House: As Malcolm tries several keys, Gemma starts rocking her chair back and forth. Mal's phone rings. He reads the text from Bridget: "He's coming back. Get out of there." Well sheesh, Buffy. Maybe you should have met him somewhere a little further from his house. It's not like Mal didn't have the address.
Downstairs, Gemma continues to struggle. Upstairs, Mal tries a few more keys, with no luck. He tries to break through the door with his not inconsiderable shoulder. Meanwhile, Gemma has struggled so hard she's tipped her chair clean over. [That's not the way out. --Xander] Malcolm says, "Damn it," and gives up on the lock. Can he not hear the racket Gemma is making? If not, I blame the soundtrack. He takes a final look around though, and finds a dirty plate, a snack food bag and a cell phone.
Coffee Shop, Exterior: John takes out his phone and calls Shiv. When she doesn't answer, he leaves her a voice mail. "Siobhan, she's onto me." He hangs up and shakes his head. Grr Argh.
The show is taking Thanksgiving week, off, so I'll wish you a Happy Thanksgiving now (and for those of you outside the States, I'll just wish you a plain old happy). It is slated to return Tuesday, November 29, 2011. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where no one puts Gemma in a corner basement.