Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Gave Him My Whole Heart And He Just Crushed It
By Cindy McLennan | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.11.2011
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Gemma is still on the rage-fueled tear that started in the Hampton's, when she overheard Henry and Bridget discussing the affair and "Shiv's" pregnancy. She reviews their holiday videos, as she tries to come to terms with Henry's infidelity and decide if she's dealing with Bridget or Siobhan. When she spots footage of Shiv sporting the scar she got when she burnt herself in cooking class, she tracks down Bridget, examines her wrist, and decides Bridget's confession is truthful, if incredible.
Gemma, understandably, wants a divorce, but she doesn't want Henry to get a dime of her money. There's an infidelity clause in the Bickerson's pre-nup. If Gemma can get irrefutable proof that Henry cheats, she can get rid of him, while keeping her money and full custody of their twins. She has done her research on Bridget and knows she's a "drug addict, stripper, whore." Gemma has made plans to be out for the evening, and gives Bridget an ultimatum: sleep with Henry, by midnight, or Gemma will give both Andrew and Agent Machado an earful.
Bridget resists, because why go out for burgers when you have prime rib at home. She resists taking a handful of whatever pills she finds in the Martin's penthouse, too, and goes off to an NA meeting in Brooklyn, where she meets a new potential sponsor. That's probably a good thing, as Macawi is still holding Malcolm prisoner back in Wyoming, and still shooting him full of junk. I liked Malcolm early on, but if this is all they're going to have him do, they should just kill him off and wrap up the Wyoming wing of the story. Anyhow, Juliet follows Bridget, who she assumes has gone to NA to find a way to ship her (Juliet) off to rehab.
Later, Bridget meets up with Henry at the bar he used to frequent with Shiv, when their affair was hot and heavy. She warns him of Gemma's plan to catch him in the act, keep the money, the house, and the kids. She tells him to go home, make up with Gemma and resolve to love her again. When Henry says he can't live a lie, Bridget tells him she is out of moves and then goes home to clean up Juliet's mess.
Speaking of Juliet's mess -- the wicked stepdaughter is back, and raising Cain. While she was drying out at Mummy's in Miami, she learned that Andrew took up with Siobhan before his divorce. Juliet gets trashed and she and her friend, Erica, trash the Park Ave. penthouse -- scrawling WHORE on that ginormous black and white photo of Shiv's face (seeing this induces Gemma's only organic smile in this episode). If I were Bridget, I'd be grateful for that graffiti -- as it seems to be a great excuse to get rid of the picture. Is it just me? Who has a picture of themselves that big in their own home? I mean, I know it's Shiv, not Bridget, but still... Shudder.
Anyhow, Bridget rifles through Juliet's stuff, looking for drugs. Andrew thinks this is out of line. As a parent, I'm dumbfounded by his respect for his underage daughter's privacy -- particularly when she's making no secret of drinking and drugging. My kids know I won't hesitate to go through their stuff whenever the mood strikes. If they were acting out like Juliet, their little booties would already be warming a rehab bed, and I'd be searching their rooms more furiously than if I was on a quest for the Holy Grail. Take note, my children. Oh and I told you, you're not allowed to read my write-ups. This recaplet is only PG-13 by happy accident. Close the browser; clear the history and cache; we'll pretend this never happened, provided it doesn't happen again.
Andrew begs Bridget to stay out of this. He's got a plan -- a Machiavellian scheme -- to deal with fair Juliet. He's enrolled her in public school, because everyone knows that New York City public school students never drink and drug. Ever. I don't know. Andrew's plan just cracks me up -- the whole subplot between him and Juliet does. In Andrew's conversations with Juliet, his attitude is all you're not really an addict, because you're too good for that, as if addiction respects socio-economic class and breeding. It's doubly amusing in an episode in which Bridget is trying, in her own convoluted way, to work the 12 Steps, all the while deceiving nearly everyone with whom she comes in contact. I can't decide if the show is having Andrew be particularly obtuse, or if they've decided Juliet is not an addict. Perhaps she's not. There are substance abusers who are not true addicts -- at least at first -- but since Bridget feels a bond with Juliet because of her drugginess (is too a word), it seems to me that, where the narrative is concerned, Juliet ought to be an addict, not simply a kid acting out.
By the episode's end, Bridget and Andrew have retrieved Juliet from a nightclub, and Bridget has apologized for sleeping with Andrew while he was still married. Gemma seems like she might let Bridget off the hook, at least until her asshat husband calls her and tells her "Shiv" told him Gemma's plan to nail him. While Bridget gets Juliet home, Andrew stops at a store, because he's a victim of contrivance -- um... I mean to get something for his daughter's aching head. That's when Gemma calls him. She needs him to come over to her place, right now. "Please? It's an emergency."
While Bridget and a newly agreeable Juliet scrub the WHORE off of Shiv's picture (a nice use of imagery), Andrew heads over to the Bickerson's Gramercy Park pad. A shaken and breathless Henry answers the door and says Gemma hasn't been home all night. Andrew asks if he can come in and wait for her, but Henry won't let him. "I've got some work I've got to do." What, clean up her blood? OH HOLY HEMOGLOBIN, BATMAN. He does have to clean up her blood. Or someone's blood. Once Andrew is gone, we follow Henry through the Bickerson's abode. There's a fallen lamp, a broken vase, an old picture of Gemma lying on the floor, and a (too perfect) bloody handprint on the wall. As Henry climbs the stairs, he passes another bigger, less artful bloodstain. Grrr Argh.
Siobhan is not in this episode, neither is Agent Machado, but there wasn't room or reason for either of them, so while I was disappointed not to see them, their absence makes sense. I can't believe Henry killed Gemma! Well, I can, for a lot of reasons. Gemma caught onto Bridget's secret much earlier than I expected. She was a walking time bomb. It's too bad that she's probably dead, but probably killing her off was a good choice by the writers. Don't forget, though, this is a soap opera, so we can't count on Gemma being dead - at least until we see her lifeless body. And really, with some soaps? You can't count on a person being dead until you've seen them buried. And there's a whole different set of rules for Days of our Lives fans, but I digress.
I'll be back with the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread. We're so sorry for writing WHORE on your picture, that we've already scrubbed it off.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Hi and welcome back! I've been awfully worried about my pretty little guilty pleasure. Ringer isn't faring too well in the ratings. This week was better than last week's low point. Is it me? Am I not watching hard enough? Where's Willow? I need a spell or a ritual to perform, to help out as I can. I'm thinking about something that involves watching while taking a bubble bath, sipping champagne, and eating chocolate covered strawberries. (No, there will not be photos, and that's a kindness, believe me.) I don't think the cable will reach into the bathroom, but I can ask my husband to MacGyver up something. OH WAIT! Good news. Ringer just got picked up for the back 9. I think I'm going to take myself up on that champagne and chocolate covered strawberries bubble bath date, right now. Be back in a little while...
Six hours later...
I'm having a hard time starting this off, and not just because my fingers have turned into prunes. I'm torn on where to begin. I want to talk about the big thing that happened at the end, but I know some of you rely on these weecaps to fill you in when you've missed an episode. However, all I can think about is the aforementioned big thing that happened at the end. Oh all right. You know I'm a sucker for your doe eyes. I'll try to be (somewhat) orderly. Spoilsports. No bubbles for you!
Our opening montage is about the same as always. Juliet is in it again, because she's back from Miami. Oh and the bitch-slapping/whore-calling scene has been added to the montage, too. Wheeee! Anyhow, Andrew and Bridget are driving back from the Hamptons. Henry is in the backseat. Pity. The trunk must be full of luggage and birthday presents. When Bridget can only get through to Gemma's voice mail, Henry asks "Shiv" if she said anything to Gemma that could have made her leave. Bridget flashes back to the big bitch-slapping, whore-calling, twin-switcheroo-revealing scene from last week. There's new footage of Bridget following Gemma out of the beach house, pleading with Gemma to believe her. Gemma thinks this is Shiv, lying to her. "You know, I married a first class liar, but you are the gold standard. It's pathetic, really."