Episode Report Card Kelsea Stahler: A+ | 67 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Pussycat Scratch
By Kelsea Stahler | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.13.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Finally, things are starting to come together… and then spiral out of control in the Hamptons.
To celebrate his release and return to the Hamptons, Nolan is throwing a super-exclusive house party – apparently exclusive means 100 people. This party is also so important it merits illegal dolphin play-pens and swans swimming in his pool.
While he's off convincing party planners to break laws, Margaux is hunting down an invite to Nolan's soiree so she can coax him into being Voulez's first cover story. Daniel refuses to give her a hookup, so Charlotte sets Margaux up with Jack, who only agrees to take her as his plus one.
This set-up upsets Daniel and Emily, who both have a stake in the duo's game. Daniel is miffed that Margaux gets Nolan as her cover story and he later threatens to kill the investments he's garnered if she continues. Apparently, Margaux is actually a kickass character who doesn't even blink at Daniel's boyish threats, which only makes him angrier when issues with Emily begin to crop up later.
Emily is angry because she's now watching Jack kindle a relationship with yet another Hamptons lady – he and Margaux are really hitting it off. Em's judgment only helps push Charlotte further away too when Emily justifies her jealousy by saying Jack and Margaux are "from different worlds." Charlotte's right; she does sound like a Grayson.
And while all of that is gumming up the works, Aidan is continuing his bonkers plan. He brings potential evidence of Emily's involvement in the Grayson's bankruptcy and Victoria offers to bring him to Nolan's party as a sort of coming out party for their unholy union. When they arrive, Emily pulls Aidan aside and yells at him. It's not long before Victoria and Daniel join them and Victoria says she's concerned with what money Emily used to buy Nolan's house. It's all Emily needs to go off on Victoria, telling her that while she may be bankrupt, she shouldn't pry into others' finances – and she says it loud enough for the entire party to hear. Buh-bye, Queen Vee.
The aftermath of the party is a little more than a few deflated toy swans and spilled champagne. Patrick, who Nolan invited to his party before he knew his relation to Victoria, comes by after it's all done to tell Nolan that while Victoria hates Emily and Emily is Nolan's best friend, he doesn't want that rivalry to color their friendship. He likes to make his own assessments – which means we just met Nolan's new beau.
Daniel doesn't fare so well after the party. He talks to Emily, who tries to convince him that while Aidan clearly still loves her, she chose Daniel. (Well, at least that's partially true.) His reaction is to set up a security system in Emily's house to keep Aidan from surprising them again – remember when he broke in and tried to kill Daniel last season? He tells Emily about shooting Aidan last season when she asks why he installed the system against her wishes and with that, she's powerless to argue.
But why wouldn't she want to keep people out of her house? Because she wants Aidan to be able to come in and out as he wants since she was the one who asked him to come back and team up with Victoria so he could get close to her. Come on, people; you don't let a love like his go that easily.
And though that part's going just as planned, Emily's other big plan falls right through the flaming cracks. She convinces Father Paul to get Conrad to confess to his crimes by telling him that she was the one who got him fired and that she'll ruin him if he doesn't help her. (Real saintly, Em.) He works his magic, but Victoria isn't thrilled. When she hears what's happening, she actually scratches Conrad. With her hand. And her real nails. Right before she throws an actual vase like a character on Dallas.
Victoria's ill will seems to grow legs when moments later, Emily finds Conrad's Lamborghini in flames. Father Paul is dead, Conrad is injured but alive, and you can be damn sure that his miraculous survival is going to convince him not reveal his crimes against humanity. Dammit.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Finally, as things are starting to come together… then it all spirals out of control in the Hamptons.
We open on Conrad in a cold sweat. He’s dreaming that Charlotte uses her newfound hatred to stab him while he’s helpless in his bed saying "this is for my father." He’s right about one part: One of David Clarke’s daughters is about to come after him, but unlike dream-Charlotte, he’ll never even see Emily coming. She’s become something of a surrogate daughter now that Charlotte hates him; she’s the only one visiting him and she’s saying all the right things to get him to call on Father Paul and make amends.
In case Conrad’s guilt isn’t enough to convince him to fix everything, Emily’s working it from both ends. She catches Father Paul going to confession and tells him she’s willing to forgive him (something she doesn’t do for anyone – and that’s no joke, because she’s becoming one of the more hateable people on this show) if he gets Conrad to confess everything. If he doesn’t, she’ll ruin his life even worse than she did the first time, because in Emily’s own personal la-la land, this is how forgiveness works.
While Em is setting up the good Father, Aidan brings Victoria "proof" of Emily’s foreign accounts – pieces of paper showing accounts listed without names. Victoria knows her nemesis is smarter than that and if Emily is holding her money, she has it in a much less detectable place. Aidan deflects by throwing a tantrum about losing Emily to Daniel, saying that he asked Emily to run away with him and that she was seeing him while she was engaged to Daniel. This only strengthens Victoria’s resolve to catch Emily, so when he says he wants to get back into Emily’s "orbit" to get revenge (which is pretty ironic considering that her revenge plot is why he’s supposedly so upset in the first place) the Cartier wheels in Victoria’s head get to turning.
At the same time, Nolan is keeping himself busy throwing an super-duper exclusive housewarming party that apparently includes a dolphin enclosure because now that he’s not a computer genius anymore, he’s taking up a job as a Saudi prince impersonator. Margaux is particularly interested in getting into the exclusive fete because she wants an interview with Nolan for the cover of Voulet, a plan Daniel is determined not to support because he still holds the Grayson Global nonsense against him. But this causes something glorious to come out of the former floozy’s mouth: she may have dropped her dress for Daniel, but she’s not about to let him walk all over her. When she finds her way into the party – as the plus one on the giggling, sheepish Jack’s arm – she’s found her way around Daniel and landed the cover story. Is it okay that I kind of like her now?