The Shower

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That David Clarke prison diary Amily showed to Charlotte is a loose end Victoria has not forgotten. Operating under Emanda's guidance, Amily refuses to be bought by the Queen when she's offered to name her price for the diary, and tries instead to get some information about Kara in exchange for it. Victoria almost gets caught red-handed trying to bully Amily into giving up the diary by Charlotte, so she plays it off by declaring she's throwing a baby shower for Ams. More on that later.

Emanda and Aiden are still at a bit of a philosophical impasse on how to proceed with this whole revenge business. He goes off on his own, back to the only lead he really had at the motel, to confront Kara. It seems Aiden has convinced Kara she can trust him, but then she gets the drop on him, knocking him out and tying him up in the motel office. It seriously takes Aiden almost the whole episode to find some broken glass so he can cut himself free from his chair. We expect more from a Takeda apprentice, Aiden. Go back to school.

The budding romance of convenience between Nolan and Padma gets a little boost when Padma takes some initiative to recover a photo album Nolan's father left behind before he died. The photo album is filled with newspaper clippings marking milestones in Nolan's successful career. It turns out Nolan's dad really cared about him, despite their falling out. And, clearly, Padma taking this initiative on Nolan's behalf means she cares for him beyond their professional relationship, so Nolan awkwardly makes his move while they are searching through his father's storage unit. It's all kinda cute, but... Nolan in a relationship? Say it ain't so, show. Say it ain't so.

And off in "Who Cares?" Land, Declan is unable to recover the items he and Trey stole from Mr. Ryan so they can be square. On top of that, the Stowaway fails its health inspection, so there's no way Jack can pay the difference out of pocket. What the Porter boys don't know is Mr. Ryan and Trey are in cahoots, and both boys have been set up in an elaborate plan so Mr. Ryan can make a bid to buy the bar. Good riddance.

Daniel has finally caught on that Ashley is less of a girlfriend and more of a spy for his father when she gets involved in his quest for uncovering his father's business improprieties. Ash comes to realize that Daniel is trying to do what's best for everyone involved, and renounces her role with Conrad. That's a keeper, I guess.

I'm just going to come out and say it. Victoria throws the worst baby shower ever. We're all used to the Queen's fancy soirées, and maybe she's just a bit rusty since returning from being dead, but any party that results in the guest of honor ending up in a coma is not a good one. Yes, Amily and Victoria get into an argument when Emanda instructs Ams to persist in trying to connect Victoria and Kara's pasts, and it results in Amily slipping and falling over the second-floor banister flat onto her back. She's rushed to the ER, but if Lydia can fall from a rooftop onto a car and survive, you better believe a pregnant woman can fall 20 feet onto a tile floor, cracking her skull, and simply end up in a coma. To this party's credit, though, Amily showed up with three of her best stripper buddies and the baby survived. So it's not a total loss.

The truth that Emanda had Amily digging for turns out to be that bad kind of truth Aiden had warned her about. Victoria supposedly kept Kara away from her daughter because she had tried to kill Amanda when she was little. This revelation is more than Ems can handle, but Aiden arrives just in time from that chair's confounding grasp to be all, "Let me pick up the pieces for you," about it. Ugh. Emily Thorne don't need no man, honey [boo boo].

-- Pablo G. is some guy who lives in Austin, Texas. He used to co-host TWoP's original "Trailers Without Pity" with his brother Omar G. Check him out at The YES and NO and Pablog and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.

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A huge pool of blood gets mopped up from the floor by hand with a sponge. Emanda voice-over: "Some think intuition is a gift, but it can be a curse, as well..." The camera pulls back to reveal Victoria watching a maid scrub the blood from the tile of Grayson Manor. In her hands, Victoria has the sign-in sheet from the hospital where Kara was committed and a check made out to Amanda Clarke. She crumples them both up and tosses them into her fireplace. Ems VO continued: "...a voice calling to us from places that are better left unexplored..." Sternly, Victoria watches the documents disintegrate. VO: "...an echo of memories that will never die no matter how hard we try to kill them."

24 hours earlier on the beach outside Casa Emily, Aiden comes jogging up, pleased with himself because he thinks Ems has reconsidered his apology. Instead, she greets him by playing back the voicemail Kara left Gordon after his disappearance. Emanda's not pleased with Aiden's meddling. While Aiden doesn't admit to posing as the Detective Lasky that Kara references in the message, he shares with Ems his suspicions that Gordon could've brainwashed Kara, and there's no way of knowing what her motivations are now. Emanda's going to get to the bottom of it anyway, ignoring Aiden's warning that she may not like what she finds out.

Grayson Manor. We're in mid-rebuke by the Queen as she and Conrad sit at the breakfast table. Conrad's been summoned by the Initiative, and will be going to meet with them this afternoon. Victoria thinks it's a bad idea, especially since it's another opportunity for Conrad to get his "reptilian hands" on another thing he can screw up. Look, if we're going to classify them, I'd say they're more amphibian than anything. Daniel enters the scene, curious to know where his father is off to. He gets a lie about a trip to go ease the minds of some investors who are a little concerned after recent events surrounding the Graysons. A little too exuberantly to hide some sort of ulterior motive, Dan commends his father on his good thinking before offering to hold down the fort while he's gone. As the two men go off to tackle their respective days, Charlotte enters, upset that surveillance cameras are being installed all over the house, and more importantly, outside her bedroom. She's also still a little miffed about that whole being falsely imprisoned thing, but that's just being picky. Ignoring all of that, Victoria asks about what Charlotte was going on about when she got upset about her mother betraying David Clarke. It was all in a journal Amily showed her, she says. If Victoria wants to know, she'll have to ask Amily. Meanwhile, at the front door of Grayson Manor, Conrad runs into Ashley on his way out. Having caught Daniel's too-earnest tone earlier, he instructs Ash to keep an eye on his son while he's gone in hopes of finding out what he's really up to.

Jack gets off the phone with the city health inspector after setting an inspection appointment for the Stowaway. He looks up to see Amily waddling out of the bar with her rolly luggage. Even after explicitly saying he didn't want to commit to Amily anymore, Jack's sideswiped by this baggage-laden woman trying to not so subtly walk out of his life. He tells Ams she doesn't have to leave, but can't offer a good reason why she shouldn't. Cut to Amily arriving at Casa Emily. She brushes off Emanda's kind invitation to stay as long as she needs because she still doesn't get why Ems threw her to the Grayson wolves at the big press event. Ams feels like Emanda's game with the Graysons is starting to ruin lives. Where have you been, Amily? All Emanda has to do to stop this hormone-fueled tirade is explain that her mother is still alive, and Victoria may be the only source for answers. Speak of the devil woman, Amily's phone rings with a call from Victoria, who still uses a landline for her evil correspondence. She invites Ams over for a talk this evening, which Emanda urges her to accept, and asks Amily to bring David's journal.

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Nolcorp. Padma continues with her supposedly endearing badgering of Nolan. Her exasperation this time is with Nolan having unopened mail dating back more than six months. Nolan: "Only luddites use snail mail." Logic -- he has it. Emanda enters and Padma excuses herself. "She's cute," Ems teases. "You think?" Nolan tries to be nonchalant. "Don't you?" Emanda catches Nolan. New subject. Emanda asks if Nolan knows anything about the surveillance system the Graysons are installing throughout Grayson Manor. It just so happens that the technology the security company is using is proprietary to one of Nolcorp's subsidiaries, so they can easily hack in and "monitor Boris and Natasha's every move." Holy crap... Those names work on so many different levels. Emanda also needs a remote earwig so she can use Amily as a sock puppet. No problem, says Nolan. Ems takes her leave of him as Padma returns. She asks Nolan why he didn't tell her his father had died and his estate is being auctioned off. That's because Nolan didn't know his father is dead. At least you didn't find out on Facebook, Nolan.

Out on The Amanda, Declan has a little meeting with Trey about trying to recover the items they stole so they can return them to Mr. Ryan. He offers up his share of the money they made, but unfortunately that's not how things work with Trey's boss. He'll break their legs for even asking to return the items they stole. Jack shows up and catches the end of this meeting, then silently stands by as Trey walks past him. Dec gives his brother the bad news. How can these two upstanding brothers who did nothing more than knock up a murderous stripper and burglarize houses endure such bad luck?!

Grayson Manor. It's time for one of Victoria's patented strong-arming teas in her parlor. She and Amily sit together while Emanda monitors and instructs from her phone, which is tapped into the Graysons' surveillance. Ams reads a passage of Emanda's choosing from the journal. It's about Victoria and why David was drawn to her. It brings tears to the Queen's eyes. She immediately asks what Amily's price is for giving up the journal. Ems instructs her to say that she simply wants to know about her mother in exchange for it. Charlotte walks in just as things are getting contentious, so Victoria plays it all off by saying Ams is there to discuss the impromptu baby shower Victoria has decided to throw for her tomorrow. Babies "R" Us has just felt a slight disturbance in the force, as if hundreds of poorly thought out and overly expensive items have been removed from its shelves.

Late at night, Dan sits at his father's desk at Grayson Global, logging into the private investor archives and tapping away at a calculator. Just as he's concluding that something's up with their books, Ashley catches him. They lie to each other about why they're both there so late after work. Ash takes the initiative to call out the fact they're not being honest with each other. She's worried they could all be implicated if Conrad is in fact messing around with the company's books. Dan assures her that he'll get to the bottom of it first, and he has no issue with making sure the responsibility all falls on his father. Dan's convinced his father would have no hesitation doing the same to any one of them. This seems to be a revelation to Ashley. Slow, slow Ashley.

Aiden pulls his car into the motel where Kara and Gordon had set up shop just as Kara is locking up. He spins a story about being FBI, and about knowing that Gordon's cover had been compromised. Aiden asks for more information from Kara, but probably owing to a lifetime of surviving on lies with Gordon, she trusts her instinct to stick with her lover's plan, refusing. When she tries to leave, Aiden pulls his gun and reveals he knows her name is really Kara Clarke.

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It's morning in the pool house at Grayson Manor. Ash and Dan get ready for their day, but Ashley points out Daniel's been quiet all morning. It's because he's been thinking about the implications for them and the company if his father gets caught inflating investors' returns. Dan explains that the kidnapping of Victoria was all staged, and the money supposedly used toward ransom was what funded the inflated investor numbers. Ash agrees to trust Dan in figuring out what they can do to save themselves, but as they embrace, Ashley's phone rings from Conrad. She awkwardly declines to answer it in front of Daniel. That's how you arouse suspicion, Ash. Slow, slow Ash.

Sporting the most immodest maternity wear ever, Amily meets with Ems at Casa Emily. She's getting cold feet about dealing with Victoria yet again at the baby shower, but Ems explains that they just need to get a signature from Victoria -- easily acquired by accepting a payment for the journal by check -- to verify it against the signature she gave on the hospital sign-in sheet when she visited Kara. Ams needs some time to think about being a part of this operation, so she leaves.

At his office, Nolan sits in a malaise, staring at his father's obituary on his computer. Padma comes in to ask about a lawsuit Zingstur.com brought against him in 2001. Nolan: "You ever hear of them?" Padma: "No." Nolan: "That's because they lost. End of story." His dark delivery of that delightful story prompts Padma to ask if he's OK. Nolan responds by excusing himself. Always taking the initiative, Padma walks over to Nolan's monitor to see the obituary and verifies what's been bothering her boss/crush. She snatches the key to Dad Ross' storage unit and leaves.

Standing in a deserted warehouse, Conrad looks out on a large, undeveloped plot of land. A woman's voice explains to him from off-camera that the owners had worked for 20 years to be able to develop the land and then watched their dreams crumble. Conrad turns to see a woman dressed in the type of black outfit a realist super villain might wear. She speaks with nebulous authority, saying Conrad had a choice in deciding whether to obey their summon or not -- he just may not have liked the result if he'd chosen not to show up. This meeting is about Gordon Murphy. Conrad wants assurance that his family will be safe from him, but the woman says he is off the grid. The Initiative is looking for answers about their rogue agent, as well. The woman will be in contact with Conrad as more details emerge.

Out on the docks, Jack meets with Mr. Ryan to update him on the recovery of his stolen things. Jack can only offer up $2,500, but that doesn't nearly cover it. Mr. Ryan estimates his stuff was worth at least $20,000. Jack explains that he plans on reopening his bar soon, and then he can save up to pay it all back. Mr. Ryan will give Jack one month to get square, and if that doesn't work out, hey... he knows where he lives. Ominous. That's what happens when you steal someone's Babe Ruth baseball. Memorabilia collectors don't fuck around.

Baby shower time. Emanda arrives and is a bit disturbed to learn that Amily still hasn't arrived. Just as she's saying this, Amily walks in with three of her best stripper friends, who are all tatted up and tightly dressed. Ems' sideways/shocked reaction shot is priceless. How did we not see this coming? The four strippers come face-to-face with Victoria, who hides her consternation that this type of people are currently welcome in her home and there's nothing she can do about it. One of the strippers speaks up that everyone at the club wanted to come, but "Murray" wouldn't let everyone off. All strip club owners are named Murray. An oblivious party guest asks what club they belong to. Victoria: "Not bridge; I can tell you that." Amily's not pleased with the slight so she turns her ghetto anger on the very pregnant party guest who posed the initial question. Ams: "Twins?" Guest: "Just the one." Amily "Oh." She leads her stripper posse away.

Back at the hideout motel, Aiden tries his hand at earning Kara's trust. He asks for any information or documents she might have that could help them figure out who has abducted Gordon. It occurs to her that Gordon left behind a hard drive in a safe that he instructed her to hand over if someone came around with all the information Aiden knows. Kara opens the safe for Aiden. As he starts plugging in the hard drive, Kara emerges from a back room with a stun gun and fires it at Aiden's neck, knocking him unconscious. Cover... blown?

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Baby shower. Amily asks Charlotte to save her a seat before they open gifts, which leads to Charlie asking if anyone knows any shower games. The lead stripper: "Girl, do I." Emanda sees an opening to speak to Ams with no one around. She takes Amily's showing up with the girls from the Beaver Dam (seriously) as a sign that she isn't going to cooperate in her plan. On the contrary, Amily brought the girls as a distraction.

Stowaway. Jack and Dec anxiously wait for the health inspector to finish looking over the bar. They fail the inspection, and there's no hope of passing another inspection because they need to use an EPA-approved contractor, which will cost around $40,000. They need a Christmas miracle. Is anyone else already smelling an insurance payout from a sunken boat in the near future?

Padma enters Nolan's office with a scrapbook she found at his father's storage unit. She explains that she didn't fly home to see her grandmother before she passed away because she was afraid she'd lose out on a job interview she had scheduled with JP Morgan. "Regrets suck," she says. Well... usually. Nolan opens up the scrapbook to find photos and magazine clippings that his father had painstakingly organized, chronicling his entire career. Nolan breaks down in tears.

Kara has tied Aiden to a chair in the motel office. Gordon would've never told anyone that Kara's real name is Kara Clarke. She thinks Aiden's either working for the Graysons or the Initiative. She reveals that Gordon is her husband before she leaves Aiden tied up with his mouth taped shut.

Walking through the halls of Grayson Global, Daniel pulls out his phone and places a call to report an illegally parked car to security. He walks into Ashley's office and almost immediately an administrative assistant comes in to tell Ash that her car needs to be moved. When she steps out, Dan digs through her tiger print purse (that's Ashley for you), pulls out her phone and listens to her voicemail. There's a message from Conrad, asking Ash if she has anything on Daniel. Dan's genuinely disappointed.

Shower. Amily's finishing up opening gifts. She opens an umbrella from Emanda with a perplexed look, but it's only an accessory for the nice stroller Ems really gifted her. Victoria's gift to Ams is a baby journal, appropriately. Inside is a check for $10,000. Amily fakes getting emotional and accepts an invitation to lie down so she and Victoria can have some privacy to talk about their agreement. While the rest of the ladies head for the conservatory for refreshments, Emanda excuses herself so she can sneak past surveillance into the restroom and guide the conversation between Am and Victoria. The problem with that is the feed keeps getting interrupted by static. Amily confronts Victoria well enough all on her own, presenting the sign-in sheet and showing that it matches the signature of the check. Victoria tries to run from the conversation, but Amily follows Emanda's order to pursue her out of the bedroom to the landing. Ams demands to know why David would lie about Kara being dead. Emanda's surveillance dies just as Victoria declares that Kara tried to kill her when she was a child. Victoria, in an agitated state, snatches for the sign-in sheet, and the struggle over it causes Amily to slip and tumble over the second-floor banister. She lands flat on her back, a pool of blood forming behind her head. Victoria screams for her maid to call 9-1-1. Amily's closed eyelids flutter and her breath comes in short labored bursts. The party comes to her aid. Ems calls for an ambulance as the new, always-positive Charlotte hilariously tells Amily to "hang in there." Yes, cracking open your skull is just like being that kitten on that poster. Victoria drops down to Amily's side on all fours, her hands resting in her blood. She raises up her hands, looks at them and then at Emanda. Blood literally on her hands.

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As much shit as I've given Amily, this is fucking tragic. As EMS wheels Ams out of Grayson Manor on a stretcher, she repeatedly tells Emanda that no matter what happens they have to save the baby. She has enough of her wits about her to pass off the earwig to Ems, as well. Bravo, Amily. For real. No more stripper jokes from here on out. Maybe. Only family is allowed to accompany Ams on the ambulance, so Charlotte hops in the back with her.

Meanwhile, Jack is in mid-discussion with Mr. Ryan about failing the health inspection and being unable to pay him back. His phone rings from Emanda in one of those worst possibly-timed things that makes you look bad. Sparse on details, Ems informs Jack that his baby mama had an accident. Emanda will meet him at the hospital. Jack leaves, and it totally sounds like he's giving a bogus excuse. We linger behind to see Mr. Ryan pull out his phone and dial... Trey. They've been working together to blackmail the Porters. The health inspector was a fake, and now they believe they've cornered Jack financially. Mr. Ryan will be making an offer on the Stowaway soon.

Padma and Nolan throw open the door to his father's storage unit. It's filled to the brim with boxes. Time to sift through the life of the man Nolan disowned.

At Grayson Manor, we've caught up to the opening scene. Victoria burns the sign-in sheet while the maid scrubs Amily's blood off the floor. Conrad enters the front door, sees all the blood and immediately calls out to his wife. She explains what happened to Amily, but more importantly that Ams knew details about Kara being hand-delivered to Gordon by Victoria. She could've only known that with the help of someone else. This revelation is interrupted by Daniel and Ashley arriving home. Dan declares that he's heading to bed, so that Ashley and Conrad can have a private moment. He posts up behind a pillar and listens in on Ash telling his father that she'll no longer act as his spy. Daniel smiles to himself.

At the paternal storage unit, Padma teases Nolan over a competitive Tetris trophy. Can't you just picture a young, lanky Nolan clicking away at a Gameboy and throwing angry, sideways glances at an opponent? I approve. Padma finds a box of Nolcorp stuff, and Nolan explains that he started his company in his father's garage, and was soon after kicked out of the house. Standing with just the small Nolcorp box between them, Nolan softens and thanks Padma for taking an interest -- in this quest for information and in him. Padma: "It's my job to take care of you." Nolan hopes this caring thing has nothing to do with the job. He leans in for a kiss and the cardboard box collapses under his elbows, dropping him all the way to the ground. Nolan: "Can we, uh... try that again?" It's a very sweet and caring kiss they share. I guess we shouldn't complain. She's not Tyler.

Aiden has begun trying to free himself from the motel office from hell. He bangs the back of his chair against a bookshelf, knocking over a fishbowl full of marbles. Aiden falls over with his chair so he can pick up a shard of glass. He begins cutting his wrist ties.

Driving, Kara catches a news story on the radio about Amily being seriously injured and taken to a local hospital. She turns up the volume.

Jack and Ems arrive at the ER. The doctor informs them and Charlotte that they're moving quickly to try to save both mother and baby, but the blood supply is quickly dwindling for the child. He begins to ask the group what to do if a decision needs to be made on which one to save, but Emanda cuts him off before he can finish to speak on everyone's behalf that the choice is the baby. She assures Jack by adding it was the last wish Amily expressed as she was being taken away. Jack is beside himself. All he can think about is how awful he's been to Ams recently. Emanda tries to comfort him, but just then the alarm goes off for a "code blue" in the operating room, sending everyone running in to tend to Amily. Code blues are not good.

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Out in the waiting area, the doctor informs Jack, Ems and Charlotte that they've had to induce a coma for Amily. The baby was delivered, but its oxygen levels are really low right now. They aren't allowed to see Ams just yet. Emanda excuses herself to go get coffee for everyone. Dec arrives at the ER, finding his brother completely destroyed. Jack musters up the energy to say he's now a father, but Amily isn't doing well. Declan hugs his brother, who looks over at Charlotte, which leads Dec to see his ex-girlfriend. Jack says to go ahead. He goes over to Charlie and asks if she's OK. She just nods. Declan immediately takes off his coat and drapes it over her. Love. That's what love is.

Azure Ray's line, "While you were searching / for your gods..." from "The Heart Has Its Reasons" plays as Ems walks cautiously alone through the hospital's hallways. Emanda VO: "When at a crossroads, my father was fond of saying, 'Go with your gut.'" Ems stops at an intersection of hallways and decides to go left. Ems VO continued: " 'Intuition,' he said, "always has our best interests at heart.'" At paternal storage unit, Nolan tells Padma he wants to take her out anywhere she wants to go. With that agreed upon, Nolan leaves on cloud nine, but Padma discovers a plaque commemorating David Clarke's initial investment to Nolcorp. Uh oh. Ems VO: "It is a voice that can tell us who is friend and who is foe..." Ashley and Daniel make love. VO: "...which ones to hold at arm's length and which ones to keep close." Jack looks in on his newborn through the glass of the neonatal intensive care unit. VO: "But too often we become distracted by fear, doubt, our own stubborn hopes, and refuse to listen." Aiden finally frees himself from his bindings, his hands soaked in his own blood. He goes straight for the motel phone and dials Emanda. He gets her voicemail, leaving a message to warn her that Kara's coming for her and she's dangerous. He finishes leaving his message just as Emanda spots her mother standing over Amily's hospital bed. FLASHBACK: Kara and a terrified Little Amanda hold each other out in the waters of the ocean far from the beach. David can be heard calling out in the distance as if he's searching for Amanda. Kara tells her they're going to play a new game where they try to sleep underwater, then plunges her daughter underneath and tries to hold her there. /FLASHBACK. Ems snaps back to reality and leaves before Kara can see her.

At Casa Emily, Aiden finds Emanda distraught in the familiar "all windows and doors thrown open so sheer curtains can flap in the night breeze" thing she does when she's really feeling defeated. Ems assumes he's there to tell her "I told you so," but instead he fights through Emanda's slaps and punches to take her in an embrace. She breaks down in sobs.

-- Pablo G. is some guy who lives in Austin, Texas. He used to co-host TWoP's original "Trailers Without Pity" with his brother Omar G. Check him out at The YES and NO and Pablog and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.