Balls

Tommy watches a video of himself in a bar with his former crew, including Jimmy. On the tape, the guys are laughing at Lou dancing with some chick. Tommy wakes up on his couch, and hears some strange clanking noises coming from his bedroom. It's the monster from Lost! Well, it's not like the real answer was any less bizarre. Tommy walks around his apartment, trying to figure out where the noise his coming from. He looks into his bedroom and finds Jesus, trying to remove the spikes from his feet. Jesus turns and calmly says, "Tom. Hey." There's a knock at the door and when Tommy looks back at Jesus, the Messiah is gone, leaving bloody stains on the sheets. That Jesus. So inconsiderate.

Tommy opens his apartment door and finds Paulie, the mentally challenged mascot of his new house, out in the hallway, knocking on every door, looking for Tommy. Paulie cheers when he sees Tommy and runs over. The other residents come out into the hallway and Tommy lies and says that Paulie is his son. One of the residents says, "I'm looking into this!" before returning to his apartment. You know, if they keep threatening that Tommy is going to get into trouble for illegally subletting his apartment, that really needs to pay off at some point.

Tommy rushes Paulie into his apartment and asks what he's trying to do. Paulie says that he heard that Tommy might be leaving the house, so he took the ferry over to convince Tommy to stay. Tommy peeks into his bedroom and sees Jesus trying to clean the bloodstains from the sheets. Aw. I take it back, Jesus. You're very considerate! Tommy busts Paulie on the fact that he's not supposed to take the ferry alone, and then peeks back into his bedroom and sees that it's now empty. Paulie asks if he's really Tommy's son, and Tommy says no. Paulie asks if he's really a firefighter, and picks up a giant knife from the counter, seemingly just because it's there and it caught his eye, not because he's threatening anyone with it. Tommy grabs the knife and says that Paulie is an honorary firefighter. Paulie asks if Tommy is really leaving, and Tommy says he's just talking to some people about the possibility. Paulie thinks he should move in with Tommy, since he's Tommy's son and all. Tommy reiterates that Paulie isn't his son, and tries to explain why that's a bad idea, but is interrupted by a phone call. It's Sheila, and she's distraught as usual, and claims that she's having an emergency. Tommy asks if it's the baby, and Sheila says it's about them. Tommy is distracted by the fact that Paulie has lit a book of matches on fire. He promises Sheila he'll be over there in half an hour, and tells Paulie not to answer the phone or light any more matches.

Tommy stands there as Sheila recounts a dream she had about Tommy telling her that he was leaving her. Tommy stares at her for a beat and then asks if this is the emergency she needed help with. Sheila says that it was "an emotional emergency," and Tommy tells her that time she should call "the hormone hotline." I really think they should have one of those. They could prescribe chocolate or potato chips, depending. Or punching bags. And they would deliver. Paulie honks the horn and Sheila growls, "Hey, retard. I got neighbors!" Tommy tells her that Paulie really is retarded and Sheila apologizes. Tommy starts bitching about everything he has to do. Sheila asks if she's just "a big fat inconvenience" to Tommy. She thinks that's true "unless [Tommy's] got no place else to go, or [he's] lonely, or looking for some place to park [his] cock!" She screams this last part, and I think she forgot that she has neighbors. Although I'm sure they're used to her potty mouth by now. I wonder why Sheila's house is so much nicer than Janet's was. Was Jimmy making more money than Tommy? Tommy walks out to his truck and Sheila yells sarcastically that she can't get enough of seeing him walk away, and that he has a responsibility to her and to the baby, and that he's not man enough to handle it; she concludes by calling him a "big pussy." Then she bursts out crying. Tommy asks Paulie if he has a girlfriend, and Paulie says no. Tommy decides, "I think I'm the retarded one."

At the firehouse, Franco examines his neck scar in the mirror, and then walks in on Sully giving Garrity a massage. Garrity is grunting and moaning and saying this is the greatest massage he's ever had. He's only wearing a towel, by the way. As is Franco, for that matter. This show just got a lot more interesting. Garrity tells Franco he's got to try the massage, and Franco says he only gets massaged by chicks, and even then, only when it leads to sex. Sully laughs at Franco, who thinks that massaging another guy is kind of gay. Sully says he learned to massage from a chick he was banging a few years ago. Garrity groans, "Oh, God. It just feels so good, you know? I just feel like one of those deer in the meadow. You know, with the flowers and birds and shit?" What? I have no idea. Garrity finishes and again urges Franco to give it a shot, but Franco says, "There's only room for one deer in the meadow today." Sully thinks Franco is freaked out by the homoeroticism, and Franco denies it, and finally agrees to let Sully give it a shot. Franco warns that Sully's hands need to stay from the nipples up. So he wants Sully to play with his nipples? That sounds pretty gay.

Lou is still trying to get Grinch to let Tommy back into the house, and Grinch is still not remotely convinced that it's a good idea. Lou says that Tommy is making an effort, and that the crew wants him back. Grinch says it's not a democracy, and besides, he doubts that the crew would choose Tommy over Sully. Lou tries to say that he thinks everyone would choose Tommy. Grinch says that if Lou can get the whole crew to agree to it, Grinch will sign Tommy's transfer, and points out that Franco will never go for it, nor will "the girl."

Tommy and his crew return from a call on Staten Island. Tommy's phone rings, and it's Johnny who is (surprise!) drinking some coffee. That Dean Winters. He loves actorly business in his scenes. Johnny is hostile, apparently still pissed about the fistfight from the other day. I don't really get that because he told Tommy to get into AA, and Tommy has, so what's with the aggro, Johnny? Then again, if Tommy were my fuck-up of a brother, I'd probably be hostile too, especially if he were always calling while I was trying to drink my coffee in peace. Tommy asks if he's heard anything about Teddy. Johnny says he sent some guys over to Teddy's place, and it looked as if it had been ransacked. Tommy points out that it always looked that way, even when Teddy was living there. Johnny says that he hates to say it, but "all indications are that Teddy got whacked." Tommy expresses sadness, as does Johnny, who quickly recovers and says that Pa Gavin has returned. Apparently Anne Marie (another Gavin?) talked to him, and Pa Gavin is staying at a Park Avenue address. I don't know why Dean Winters acts like he gets a bonus if he can get all his lines out in thirty seconds or less. He's like the Domino's Pizza of acting with his rapid-fire delivery. Tommy asks for the specific address, but Johnny says, "Go find it yourself, dickface."

Mike sits in the break room, moping. Laura and Franco walk in separately, and Franco asks Laura to babysit for Keela. Laura says she has plans to go out with a bunch of friends. Franco promises to be home by 9. Laura says gently that she loves Keela and has loved helping them out, but she has her own life, too. Good for her. Franco starts begging, and then offers to pay for Laura's drinks when she goes out with her friends. Laura laughs and pulls a Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman by telling Franco that he just made "a huge mistake -- huuuuuge mistake."

Sully walks in and asks Franco if he enjoyed the massage, and Franco says he did and runs out. Sully asks Mike what's going on, and if he's having trouble with his "knob polisher" or girlfriend. Lovely. Mike lies that everything is cool. Sully starts referring to himself in the third person, which is disconcerting, and Mike finally admits that he got dumped and no one knows. Sully thinks that "getting dumped by a tubster" really has to suck. Mike says he's in love with Theresa, and that it hurts. Sully asks if Mike's just going to mope around. Mike says that Theresa has somebody else. Sully says that Mike is just allowing this to happen, and that he needs to get in there and fight. Sully claims that Mike needs to stand up and be a man, and Mike agrees and seems cheered up.

The crew, minus Sully, meets in the locker room. Lou explains that Tommy wants to come back. Franco is immediately pissed. Lou says that Tommy has quit drinking and joined AA. Franco starts bitching again, and Garrity asks Franco to let Lou finish. Franco says that Garrity isn't the guy who got injured and burned, and says that he doesn't want Tommy back, and that's it. Franco walks out. Chief says that wasn't a surprise. Lou asks the remaining people who they would choose between Tommy and Sully. Garrity asks if they're going to vote right now, and thinks maybe they should get a hat and some slips of paper. Lou yells, "It's not a goddamn game of charades, Garrity. Tommy or Sully. It's that easy. Now, I vote Tommy." Chief agrees. Laura, Mike, and Garrity all vote for Sully, although Garrity seems to hesitate for a moment.

At a fire, Lou asks Franco if they can talk. Lou says that Tommy's his best friend, and that Grinch says the whole crew needs to agree on Tommy coming back, and they're all taking their cues from Franco on it. Franco says that Tommy almost got Franco's ass roasted. Lou says that Tommy needs this, and that even if he seems like a cocky prick, he's got nothing. Lou reveals that Tommy's wife and kids took off, and that he's in trouble, so they shouldn't turn their backs on him now. Franco says he can't change how he feels. Lou nods and asks Franco to think about it. Lou adds, "But also? Think about old times. You walk into an ugly goddamn fire, and it was okay, because Tommy Gavin had your back. Maybe you can write a guy off for making one mistake after twenty years of meritorious service, but I can't. It's balls, Franco. It's all about balls. And Tommy's got the biggest pair I've ever seen." That also sounds pretty gay. Franco just sucks on his cigarette. Why does everything sound gay to me now?

Franco and some chick are making out on a stoop. She asks him to come upstairs, and Franco says that she's really hot, but that he can't, because he has to go. He faux-casually asks if she has any more of those pain pills, and acts like he can't remember the name of them. The girl catches on and asks if he's only into her because of the drugs. Franco immediately tells her to forget about it, because he doesn't want to mess up the thing they have going. The girl apologizes and says that she can get more for him tomorrow. Franco tells her she's forgiven and takes off, but not before yelling back that it would be great if she could get him a higher dosage. Good thing Franco picks the dumb ones, because that could not have been more obvious.

Theresa and her new boyfriend Walt are leaving a movie when Mike walks up behind them and calls out to her. Walt is really ugly. He looks like a cross between Larry Bird and Mike White. Theresa asks Mike why he's there, and he admits that he followed her because he needs to talk to her alone. Theresa asks Walt to give them a few seconds. Mike spits out crazily, "You gotta tell your friend it's over, because we're in love, and that's it. If you don't wanna tell him, I'll handle it." Theresa tells him that it's over, and that he needs to let it go. She starts to walk away, but Mike grabs her arm and says that she can't love him one day and piss on him the . Theresa says that she can, because Mike got off on banging a chick who was so happy to have a boyfriend that she would do anything for him. Mike doesn't think that's true, and Theresa says it is, and that he would have woken up one day and realized he was tired of his "little side trip to Chubby Town." She concludes, "You're not in love, Mike. You're just pissed off because I beat you to the punch." She starts to leave again, and Mike grabs her arm, harder this time, and yells the mating call of domestic abusers everywhere: "Don't walk away from me! You love me." Walt tries to break it up and takes a few ineffectual swings at Mike, who warns him to back off, and then lays him out. Theresa starts screaming at Mike, who says it wasn't supposed to go like this. Walt lies on the ground, holding his face. Theresa crouches over Walt, comforting and protecting him. Mike runs away.

In his apartment, Franco offers to give Laura her drinking money now, but she thinks it's better if she just gives him the grand total in the morning, assuming she's done drinking by then. She starts to skip out happily, but Franco says he has a bottle of vodka in the freezer, and suggests that they have their own party. I just noticed that Franco has a crucifix on the wall. I don't know why that's important, but with all the Jesus cameos lately, I thought I would mention it. Laura laughs and says that she admires that Franco never gives up. Franco asks what her answer is, and Laura says, as she walks away, that Franco had better stop by an ATM on his way to work tomorrow.

Tommy walks into a fancy apartment building and rings a doorbell. His father answers and gives Tommy a hug. Tommy walks into a big apartment that is filled with cats. Pa Gavin says, "Your stepmother knows each one by name." Tommy is shocked, and Pa says that he got married. Tommy asks who he married, and Pa says that he met a Korean girl in Ireland. A woman calls out from the other room, and Pa gets nervous and says that maybe Tommy should leave. Pa's new bride walks in from the other room and reminds him that he should say "Asian" instead of "Oriental." She's got a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other. My kind of lady. She gives Pa a kiss and then yells for someone named Jeffrey. Pa introduces his wife as "Jenny Nig," and she hits his belly and says that her last name is "Ng" and refers to Pa affectionately as "stupid fat white man." Tommy tries to be polite, but is freaked out by the cats, explaining that he's more of a dog guy. Jenny says that, in Korea, they eat dogs. Tommy asks why they don't eat cats. Jenny replies, "The dogs have already eaten the cats." Jenny tells Pa that they have five minutes, gives him a kiss and a hug, and leaves with her valet or assistant or whoever this Jeffrey guy is. Jeffrey offers Tommy and his father a drink. Tommy refuses, but Pa asks for a triple Kamikaze on the rocks.

Tommy and Pa sit down, and Pa asks what he thinks. Tommy gingerly inspects a nearby cat, who might be dead, or just, you know, a cat who is inherently lazy. Tommy says that he thinks he should stick a grenade up his father's "big fat Irish ass." Pa says that he knows that Jenny isn't what people would expect, and that their fights are incredible, but that the make-up sex is so great that he needs an oxygen tank to the bed. Tommy sits there with a look of disgust on his face and gets up to leave, saying that this is the end of the conversation. Pa asks Tommy to stay and get him caught up. Pa asks about Janet, the kids, Teddy, and Sheila. Tommy sighs and says, "Better go get that oxygen tank."

Laura, humming drunkenly, knocks on Franco's door and says that she forgot her bag. Franco's already holding it to give her, and asks if she's still hanging out with her friends. Laura says it's great, except that it's her and two couples. Laura giggles and then moves in and starts making out with Franco. He stops her and asks if she's sure she wants to do this. Laura says that Franco's been hitting on her for four months, and now he wants to talk? Franco agrees, pulls her inside, and shuts the door.

Tommy has just finished updating his dad, and concludes that Johnny is pretty certain that Teddy has been whacked. Pa says he's sorry to hear about Tommy's kids. But not about his brother's being killed? I guess with Teddy, they all figured it would happen some day. Either that, or a heart attack while doing coke and banging a hooker. Tommy gets freaked out and points out that his father is "living with thirty cats and banging some chink broad." Pa tries to get Tommy to keep it down. Tommy says that he learned the word "chink" from his father, when John Lennon and Yoko Ono were on television. Pa says that Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles, which Wing Chun tells me isn't true, and she would know. ["I read a lot of Beatles books back in the day, is all. Blame Linda!" -- Wing Chun] Pa claims that he's been enlightened, and Tommy says that a few million will do that. Pa denies that it's about the money, and Tommy asks what it is about then. Pa says, "Well, it's about the sex. Can I say something? My cock still functions. And this broad thinks I'm funny, and I get to bang her for free." Jenny shows up in her robe and yells, "Come on, fat white man!" Pa tells Tommy to call if he needs to talk, but only until the 15th, because they're leaving for Tahoe, and then Paris. Tommy asks, "Paris, France?" His father replies, "It sure as shit ain't Paris, Texas, asshole." He shuffles off to bang his wife.

Laura and Franco finish having sex. Laura giggles and asks if she mentioned that she's having a really good time. Franco asks what this means. Laura starts laughing and asks if he really just said that, because she's supposed to be the girl. Shut up, Laura. See last week's rant on that subject. Franco says he just wants to be clear, because they work together, and he doesn't want things to get messy. Laura says she'll do the math for him: "Drunk and horny [points to self] meets perpetually horny [points to Franco] equals [checks watch] thirty-four minutes of extremely hot but meaningless sex." Laura pulls her ankle up to her ear and asks if he wants to keep talking or go for the full hour. Franco thinks talking is way overrated and jumps Laura.

Tommy is walking down the street when Sheila calls. She apologizes for yelling at him and says that it's baby hormones. She asks if they can have lunch. Tommy stops outside a liquor store and gazes inside lovingly, but tells Sheila no. She asks if they can have dinner, and Tommy says no, because he has to get to a meeting. Sheila offers to cook a nice big turkey dinner on Wednesday night, and Tommy distractedly agrees. He leaves without entering the liquor store.

Sully chops up a cucumber in the kitchen at the firehouse. Garrity walks in and asks if Sully has a double shift. Sully says he has a doctor's appointment. Garrity is surprised that the doctor works nights, and Sully says that his doctor is "holistic." Garrity asks, totally serious, "Yeah, what is that? Something wrong with your hole?" Sully laughs, assuming Garrity is joking. Until he looks up and sees that Garrity is totally serious, so he explains that it means natural and alternative. Garrity complains that this back hurts, and wonders if he could get a massage. Sully agrees, and washes his hands while asking Garrity to remove his shirt. In the kitchen? Ew. Sully starts the massage, and Garrity says, "If you were a chick, I'd marry you." Sully continues massaging, and Garrity continues making hilarious faces.

In his truck, Franco pops some pills, and then walks into work. He runs into Laura and notes that they agreed not to show up at work together. Laura points out that they're not together, they are just arriving together. She adds that she had fun last night, and Franco says that he did too. He was sure Laura would accuse him of taking advantage of her while she was drunk. Laura admits that she wasn't that drunk, and asks if he's going to tell everyone. Franco jokes that he already did, and then says that he wasn't planning to tell anyone. Laura tells him he's a good boy and walks off. Franco watches her leave. This is not going to end well.

Johnny walks up and introduces himself (again) to Franco and says that he's looking for someone.

Cut to Johnny inside, handing Mike a restraining order from Theresa. Johnny explains that Mike stalked his ex-girlfriend, knocked her down, and laid her new boyfriend out, which is unacceptable behavior. Mike thinks the whole thing is a big misunderstanding, and offers to talk to Theresa and straighten it out. Johnny loses it and starts yelling at Mike that he only came down there as a favor because he recognized Mike's name. He concludes, "Mike, this chick wants you gone. Be smart. Get gone." Johnny leaves, and Mike angrily throws the restraining order aside.

Franco sits in the firehouse, near the entrance. Tommy walks in and says hello, and that he got Franco's message. Tommy starts to make small talk, but Franco says what he needed to say: "You really let me down. When I came in as a probie, you were the goddamn man. When I looked at you, I thought, 'If I can just do the job like Tommy Gavin, won't I just be King Shit?' I never told you this, Tommy, but the day I made my first grab, we were in the truck on the way back, after, and you just kind of looked at me, you nodded. You said, 'Good job, kid.' I was flying on that for, like, two days. You put me in for my first medal. Shit, Tommy. You were my hero. I was trying to be a friend, Tom. I knew you were drinking. I knew you weren't yourself. I tried to pull you back, throw you a few red flags without busting your balls. I was looking out for you, bro. And I'm the one that gets hurt? How is that fair?" Tommy denies he ever said it was fair, and looks around uncomfortably. He says that if he could go back in time and fix everything, he would, but he can't.

Desperate to get away from any display of emotion or feelings, Tommy asks Franco about his scar, and Franco shows it off. Tommy thinks Franco must be getting a lot of tail with that. Franco admits that he was embarrassed at first, but now he wishes it were bigger. Tommy asks what story Franco uses, and Franco says he tells women that he got it pulling kids out of a burning school. Tommy pulls up his sleeve and shows off a scar, and says that he tells chicks that he got it saving an old blind lady's cat. Franco asks how he really got it, and Tommy says he was fighting his brother in front of a glass window and punched through it. Franco decides to make the kids in his story blind, and Tommy agrees that it will work. Tommy says, "Look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." Franco gets a call and says that they'll hang out again. Tommy kind of looks around his old house, and slowly leaves.

The crew arrives at a fire, and Chief barks out orders. Lou asks what's going on, and Chief says that it's a basement fire. Franco tells Probie to go with him to check the back. Chief says there are reports of people being trapped, which Lou thinks is just awesome. Chief tells Lou to take Garrity and Laura and go in. Lou tells Garrity to get the door and grab a safety rope. As Garrity opens the door, a ton of smoke billows out. The three of them don their protective gear, and as they enter, Lou gets right in Laura's face and tells her to stay close.

They head downstairs, where weird techno music is playing. Surprising that the fire didn't damage the sound system. Lou comes across a person passed out on the stairs wearing leather bondage gear, and orders Garrity to take her out. Lou heads further into the basement, alone, because Laura stopped to help Garrity. He comes across someone handcuffed to the wall in a crucifix-like pose, wearing a leather mask. He starts yelling for Laura, who is nowhere to be found. Lou radios for someone to come in with bolt cutters, and then removes his mask so he can see enough to unchain the freak.

Two firefighters carry the "freak" outside. It appears to be a man dressed in a Xena-like outfit. Lou stomps out, pissed off, and finds Laura putting equipment back in the truck. He gets in her face and yells, "Did I or did I not tell you to stay close?" Laura starts to say that she thought she was supposed to help Garrity, but Lou interrupts to ask, "Who the hell trained you? It sure as shit wasn't this department. You never, ever, leave a member of this crew alone in a fire, and the time you do, I'm having you brought up on charges! Now get over there and help those guys change the cylinders, you stupid twat." Laura looks like she's about to cry as Lou walks away.

Chief and Franco stroll down the street past a number of people lying on the ground, being treated by paramedics, all dressed in various kinds of bondage gear. Chief says he doesn't understand the kids nowadays with their newfangled sex clubs. He points out a number of attractions nearby, like the Statue of Liberty. Instead, "they want to go into some dingy basement and hang from the ceiling, in a sling, with a rubber ball stuck in their mouth and a rope tied around their nuts. I don't get it!" Franco deadpans, "Yeah, well on the other hand, Chief, how many times can you go visit the Statue of Liberty?" Chief considers and admits that Franco is right.

Lou comes by and asks where his grab is. Chief asks if he's talking about the woman he dragged out, and Franco breaks the news that it probably wasn't a woman. They find Mike and Garrity treating the Xe-not nearby. Lou asks if she's okay. Mike says she's "a little hairy, but breathing." Lou says it takes him back to the junior prom, and tells them to remove the man's mask so that he can breathe. Garrity removes the leather mask, and a blonde wig comes off too, and it's revealed that the Xe-not is...Sully! And as much as I totally should have seen that coming, I have to admit that I did not. I knew there was something off about him, but that wasn't what I thought would happen. Sully sits up, coughing. Lou proclaims, "All the angels and saints." Chief adds, "Blessed screaming Jesus on a whole wheat goddamn cracker." The guys all gather around, staring. Garrity says he thinks he's going to puke. Sully offers to explain, and Lou says they're all ears. Sully looks up at them, and then starts laughing crazily and says, "Who am I kidding? I like to dress up like a chick, okay? I like to wear panties and high heels and...rough sex." Garrity is freaked out because he told Sully he wanted to marry him. Lou decides that he's going to sue everyone, and the crew takes off, leaving Sully lying there in his little leather skirt.

The crew, minus Laura, meets up in the break room. Everyone votes for Tommy to return to the house. Lou says he'll tell Grinch. Chief says that he's seen horrific shit in his day, including kids with their faces melting, but that it was all erased by the sight of Sully in a skirt and bra. Franco says he knew Lou's grab wasn't a woman, because no woman is that big. He adds, "Not counting your girlfriend, [Mike]." Mike calls Franco an asshole and leaves. Franco says he was just joking. He tries to get Garrity to admit that it was funny. Garrity is still sitting there with a horrified look on his face, and says that Sully massaged him twice, and that Garrity liked it: "If Sully's gay, and he touched me, what does that mean?" Franco says that not every guy that dresses in a wig and a bra is gay. Garrity is all hopeful, and Franco adds that Sully is probably gay. Garrity says, "The way that he touched me, it actually felt good, and now I feel like I'm going to puke." Franco knows that Garrity feels violated and like Sully touched him under false pretenses. Garrity says he was in the shower for two hours, "trying to wash the Sully off." Franco says, completely deadpan, "Hey, life's not always easy for the little deer in the meadow, and it's never the victim's fault."

Mike bursts into the locker room and starts beating the crap out of the lockers and crying.

Grinch can't believe that Tommy won the crew's vote. Lou says that it was unanimous. Grinch says that Sully just transferred out, so it all works out just fine, and he wonders what the guys did to make Sully leave. Lou says that they only saved him in a fire, and then leaves to give Tommy the good news. Grinch says that Tommy shouldn't expect a warm welcome from Grinch, and then picks up the phone to call Sully, and asks Lou if he has a message for his former co-worker. Lou pauses in the doorway and whispers, "Lighter on the mascara."

Mike shows up at his mom's house and isn't even in the door when he says that he needs the gun he gave her. His mom protests that he wanted her to be safe, and Mike makes up a lie about how he read a story about an older woman who accidentally shot herself when she thought she heard an intruder. His mom asks, "Since when do you read the paper?" Man, even his mom knows he's dumb. Mike says he needs the gun, and his mom goes off to retrieve it.

Tommy says goodbye to the guys in Staten Island. Carmine asks if he's going to wait to say goodbye to everyone else, and Tommy says he has to fight traffic. Carmine shakes his hand and says that it was nice working with him. Tommy replies, "That's the problem, kid. You never really got to see me work." Tommy kind of thinks he's Shane, doesn't he? Tommy walks over to his truck and Paulie is there, crying. He calls Tommy an asshole. Tommy says that they'll hire another guy, and that Paulie might like him better. Tommy tries to give Paulie an FDNY shirt, but Paulie doesn't want it. Tommy makes Paulie promise to behave, then walks away. I feel like that's not the last we've seen of Paulie.

Sheila is in the grocery store, shopping for a frozen turkey. She asks the manager if they have anything smaller, but they don't. She goes to lift the turkey, but then drops it and clutches her stomach. The manager offers to give her a hand, and puts the turkey in her shopping cart.

Laura finds Lou and says that she needs to talk to him. She launches into a speech where she says that she knows that he doesn't consider her a real firefighter, but that doesn't give him the right to say what he said. Lou pretends he doesn't remember what he said. Laura says that he does, but Lou says he doesn't. Laura says, "You called me a twat." Lou says, "No, I called you a stupid twat. It's all coming back to me now." Laura demands an apology, and Lou laughs at her. Laura apologizes for screwing up, but says he can't talk to her like that. Lou sighs and finally turns to look at her for the first time and says, "I don't think so, honey." Laura tells him that if he calls her "honey" one more time, she'll kick his nuts through the top of his head. Lou reminds her that he outranks her. Laura smiles tightly at him and says, "I don't want to make a big deal out of this. You apologize? Issue's dead." Lou turns back to his paperwork without a word, and Laura walks off.

Sheila puts her groceries on the conveyer belt, and then clutches her stomach. She asks the cashier if they have a bathroom, and the cashier says that it's for employees only. ["Damn, what ghetto supermarket is she shopping in?" -- Wing Chun] Sheila looks like she's going to faint, and tells the cashier that she doesn't think she can make it home. She bends over in pain, and the cashier finally notices that she's not okay. Sheila says she just really needs to use the bathroom. The woman behind her in line tells Sheila that she's bleeding. Sheila starts panicking and says she really needs to use the bathroom, and then faints.

Tommy walks into his old house and says, "Like a bad penny!" Garrity, Chief, and Lou all greet him warmly. Tommy notes that Mike is still around, and says that he figured Mike would be dead by now. Mike walks through, all in a hurry. Tommy asks where Laura is, and Lou asks who cares. Grinch walks through, and Tommy says that Grinch probably wants to give him a kiss. Grinch says he's got his eye on Tommy. Lou suggests that they go inside and let Tommy put his things away. Garrity asks if Tommy heard about Sully, and Tommy asks when the wedding is.

Sheila sobs in the doctor's office. The doctor dispassionately tells her to wear a pad for the few days, and that most of the matter has been expelled from her uterus. Wouldn't they do a D&C? And also, you can't have a miscarriage from lifting heavy objects. Way to do the research, guys. Sheila asks if she can get pregnant again, and the doctor says she shouldn't try for a while. He asks if they can call someone for her, but totally ignores the fact that she's sobbing as he hands her a prescription. Sheila says she has guests coming for dinner, and starts to put her clothes back on, sobbing uncontrollably.

Mike lurks in the shadows outside Theresa's apartment building. He pulls the gun out of his pocket and waits until he sees Theresa and Walt walking down the street; he then takes off after them. Oh, Mike. Such a bad idea.

Tommy has dinner with Sheila and Damien. Damien! I wondered what happened to him. Damien says that they narrowed the names down to Jimmy if it's a boy and Jamie if it's a girl. Sheila says that talking about names is bad luck. Tommy realizes that he needs to finish the extra room for the baby, and says he's also going to build a handmade crib. Damien, who is weirdly excited about the baby, asks if they can put a doorway between his room and the baby's room, so that he can help out when the baby cries at night. What teenaged boy would be so psyched about his cousin knocking up his mother? Sheila wonders what the rush is, and Tommy says it's right around the corner. He notices Sheila's demeanor and asks if she's okay, and calls her "cocoa face." Sheila says that she knows she's eating for two, and forces a smile. She looks at Tommy and probably thinks about the fact that as soon as he finds out there's no baby, he's out the door.