Previously on Rescue Me: Tommy Gavin got drunk a lot and had a lot of sex with his cousin's widow, Sheila, and hid both activities from his family and co-workers. Chief's wife showed signs of Alzheimer's. Tommy got Sheila pregnant, and the guys from his house beat the crap out of him for screwing a widow. Tommy's cousin, Father Mick, was the one who ratted Tommy out, so Tommy beat the crap out of him. Tommy got distracted during a fire and Franco got injured, which looked bad because Tommy and Franco had had a fight just before that. Janet took the kids and disappeared without a trace. Tommy decided that he wanted to transfer out of his firehouse, and drank some more.
Tommy gets a cup of coffee and whiskey in the break room. He reads a newspaper headline claiming that the FDNY is racist. The alarm sounds, and the crew heads out. On the way into the burning house, Tommy is joking around with his crew about the claims that their department is racist, leaving the viewer wondering if he got a transfer or not, and why everyone is being so nice to him. The crew heads into a smoky room and finds a really fat lady passed out on the floor. Tommy and Garrity struggle to move her out.
Tommy says he's going to grab an axe from the alley, but the ceiling collapses and he's trapped under the rubble. As his crew tries to rescue him, Tommy wheezes and has a montage-type vision. Janet, all in white, tells him that their life could have been perfect, and apologizes for selling the house and taking the kids away. Sheila, also in white, says that the baby is kicking. Franco tells Tommy that it was only a matter of time until Tommy took someone out for good. Janet fantasizes about Tommy's "skinny, little, double-grapefruit Irish ass." Jimmy tells Tommy that it's okay if he's ready to go. Janet and Sheila make sexual suggestions. Tommy's three kids appear on a playground as he remembers Janet suggesting that he take on the full-time parent role. Jimmy urges Tommy to let go. Sheila says that she loves him. Janet tells him not to leave yet. Tommy continues to wheeze, and his heartbeat stops. The screen goes black.
Like you really thought he was dead. Tommy wakes up on the floor of a crummy apartment, an empty whiskey bottle nearby. He slowly pulls himself to his feet and throws the whiskey bottle at the wall. In the kitchen, he submerges his face in a sink full of ice water à la Huey Lewis in the video for "I Want a New Drug," minus the singing. Then he duct-tapes his hands and starts beating the crap out of a sofa cushion he has taped to the wall. Above the cushion is a photo of Janet and his kids, and Janet's face has been blacked out with a marker. So he's still a drunk and he still has rage issues. Got it.
Tommy sneaks out of his apartment with a clinking bag of empty bottles. Outside, he sneaks the bag into the garbage and walks to his truck parked nearby. He curses at a parking ticket tucked under his windshield and stuffs it into his glove compartment, which is already jammed full of other parking tickets. Message you're supposed to get from this scene: Tommy is not Handling His Business.
Tommy parks across the street from his old house. It's snowing! I know they must have filmed earlier this year, but it just looks weird to see snow. He watches Mike (formerly "Newbie") smoking and chuckles. Suddenly, Lou climbs into the passenger side of his truck. Tommy is shocked and doesn't know what to say. Lou blurts that Mike is "still dating the fat chick" and Chief's wife is doing okay, but not great. Tommy stammers that his new girlfriend is really into antiques, so he came by to check out a nearby antique shop. That's the best he could do? Lame. You'd think he would have had a story worked out for when someone inevitably spotted him spying on his old house. Lou reminds Tommy that he's "helped [Tommy] concoct some of the best bullshit cover stories under the worst possible pressure situations," and he's not fooled by this one. Lou concludes, "Antiques and 'my new girlfriend'? Why don't you kiss my goddamn giant Irish pisshole?" Lou explains that he's seen Tommy hanging around a lot in the past few months, and figured he was desperate for news. And that viewers would want to know what's happened since the first-season finale. Tommy realizes that he's totally busted and tries to ask nonchalantly, "So, uh, how's the new guy?" Lou says, "Sully? Goddamn great. Decent cook, too." Tommy asks, "How is he in the shit?" Lou tells a story about how Sully saved Franco from getting hurt in a fire, and notes that Tommy hasn't asked how Franco's doing. Tommy asks, and Lou says Franco's doing okay, although his shoulder still hurts and he probably should have stayed out of work longer than he did. We cut to a scene of Franco putting some sort of ointment on a huge scar on his neck as Laura puts Keela's hair in a ponytail. Lou explains that Laura's helping out with Keela, because Franco's mom is busy taking care of Franco's dad, who's in bad shape. Lou tells Tommy to give Franco a call. Tommy runs his hand through his hair, and says that he's thought about it a lot. Lou says he has to go, and Tommy says he has to get to work.
Tommy drives by Ground Zero, where various vendors are hawking their wares. He focuses in on a guy who's selling 9/11 cookies. They're shaped like the Twin Towers. I shit you not. There are a number of other vendors selling things like t-shirts and battery-powered Twin Towers that light up. You know what's worse than the people selling that shit? The people buying it. Those vendors wouldn't be there if they weren't turning a buck. The whole thing is disgusting, and Tommy apparently thinks so too.
Tommy arrives at his new house on Staten Island. He says hello to the guys and starts cursing about the vendors at Ground Zero. The other guys look sharply at him, and Tommy sighs and throws some cash into a swear jar. He notes that he's put in enough money for two more curses and yells out, "Cock! Tits!" They have a very liberal definition of swear words. The other guys all plug their ears as Tommy swears. Heh.
Tommy goes out for a smoke and finds a guy washing the fire truck. A guy named Paulie runs up, calling out to Tommy. This guy is clearly mentally challenged in some way, and all excited about showing Tommy the pictures he took of the big car fire. Except he forgot the pictures. Tommy is kind to the guy, showing he's not a complete asshole (yet). The guy washing the truck, Carmine, compliments Tommy on his actions during the big car fire, which was clearly the big excitement of the month. Remember that at Tommy's old job, they'd have one or two car fires per week. Tommy suggests that they light a car across the street on fire and put it out, just to kill a couple of hours.
Father Mick kneels down beside a bed and prepares to pray. His phone rings, interrupting him. It's Tommy, who notes that they haven't spoken in a long time. As Mick talks, a woman in a towel comes in and gives him a kiss. Tommy asks if Mick got kicked out of the priesthood or quit, and Mick says it was a bit of both. Mick says that Tommy only calls when he's in a tough spot and wants to talk about "God and guilt and booze and bullshit," which totally is the alternate title of this show. Tommy asks if Mick is still going to AA, and Mick says that he is. Tommy says he's been having a rough couple of months, and he remembered that Mick helped him to quit drinking the last time. The connection shits the bed, and Mick hangs up, but Tommy keeps babbling on about his nightmares and how it might be time for a change. He finally realizes that Mick has hung up.
Tommy walks into a diner and joins his brother, Johnny, at a table. Yay! The return of Dean Winters. Timo was no substitute for Johnny. Tommy starts to ask Johnny to deal with the parking ticket situation, and Johnny bitches that he's been getting Tommy out of jams with the cops for years, and that it's got to stop. He adds that this wouldn't be happening if Tommy had just stayed in his old house. Tommy asks if he's just supposed to hang out in his old house and watch a new family live in Janet's house, adding that she illegally sold his house from under his nose. Tommy gives Johnny some cash for his illegal sublet, which apparently belongs to one of Johnny's FBI friends. Johnny reminds Tommy not to screw up his living situation.
The Gavin brothers' cousin Eddie, a lawyer, shows up. Tommy asks if Eddie has found his kids yet. Eddie says he's exhausted every option and called in favors, and that there's no sign of them. Tommy -- instead of being grateful that Eddie even tried -- is pissed that he hasn't found them yet. Eddie backstories that Janet only lets the kids call Tommy from a pay phone for two minutes a week, and hasn't touched her credit cards, which she doesn't need, since she got $500,000 for the house. Damn! That house wasn't even that nice. Tommy says that Janet kidnapped his kids, and Eddie reminds him that the courts almost always side with the mother. Well, especially when the father is a semi-psychotic alcoholic stalker. Tommy gets more and more pissed, and Eddie asks if they can figure out a real plan. Tommy mutters that he needs to get a real lawyer, and Eddie and Tommy have a slap fight right there in the middle of the diner. Hee! Johnny has to break it up, and the other patrons are freaked out. The two men finally settle down, but Tommy can't resist spitting out, "Fag." Eddie retorts, "Superfag." Tommy asks what that even means. Johnny tells them to shut it and points out that Janet has enough money to live on for a long time. Tommy calls Eddie an "ultrafag" and asks how long they're talking about. Johnny says that when women are running from a "abusive or possessive husband," they adopt "a bunker mentality" and don't shop for shoes or clothes as they normally would. Tommy bristles at being called possessive and Johnny yells that it's the tenth time they've told Tommy this. Tommy glares at Eddie and calls him a "superultrafag" before saying that Janet will need to buy shoes eventually. Eddie tries to explain his experiences with similar client situations, but Tommy gets up and walks out before Eddie can finish. Johnny appears completely disgusted by his brother's behavior. Eddie gets in one last shot: "Mega 'mo." Tommy walks back and says, "Just for your information, ultra is like, way bigger than mega." They "yes it is" and "no it's not" back and forth for a few minutes before Tommy dumps a cup of coffee in Eddie's lap and walks out. I think viewers get by this point that these guys are not politically correct, but I also think that scene would have been just as effective if they'd said "dick" instead of "fag." In fact, I think "dick" is funnier.
Montage! Tommy hangs out at his new firehouse, where they use a lot of Pledge and hold hands and pray before meals. At his old firehouse, they go out on a lot of calls and swear frequently.
Lou and Chief have a chat. Chief notes that Lou looks kind of upset. Lou says that he sold his house, and that he's been packing, so he found old photos and poems he wrote for Phyllis. Chief says that at least Lou still has his girlfriend. Lou says that didn't exactly work out either, because his girlfriend only likes men who are unavailable, and now he's available. Lou adds, "I told her, I'm easy. Flat bacon, hot coffee, an afternoon blowjob three or four times a week. She didn't bite." Well, I'd hope she wouldn't bite during the blowjob, anyway. Lou and Chief bemoan "crazy broads," which is Laura's cue to enter. She's taking pictures of the house with a disposable camera. Chief calls her "sweetheart," and she calls him "darling." Chief wonders what that's about, and Laura says as long as he calls her names, she's giving it back. He calls her "doll face," and she calls him "love lump." Heh.
In the break room, Sully (played by Oz's Lee Tergesen) is busy making lamb shanks. Mike calls them "lamb skanks." Heh. Franco asks Laura to come over and watch Keela while he has physical therapy tonight. Laura agrees, and explains that she's taking photos to show her parents where she works. She puts the camera on the counter and asks if there's more water. Sully says there's more out on the floor, so Laura goes to get it, bitching the whole way. Garrity immediately grabs the camera and asks someone to take a picture of him. Sully suggests that he take a picture of his cock instead. Garrity loves that idea, and prepares to whip it out. Sully yells, "Don't take your cock out in the kitchen!" I don't know how many times I've said that. Today. Franco is disgusted by the juvenile antics. When did Franco get so mature? Garrity says he's trying to figure out which is his best side, and ultimately decides to go with the left. Sully giggles like a girl. Mike warns that Laura is returning, and Garrity snaps the picture and puts the camera back on the counter. Laura walks in and asks what everyone is so happy about. Garrity guffaws, "It's just, you know, more water!" Everyone cracks up and Laura looks perplexed.
Franco goes outside for a smoke and spots a hot chick getting out of her car. He stops her as she walks by and feeds her a line about how he wanted to ask her out, but because of his extensive scarring, he didn't have the nerve. She looks intrigued, but says she doesn't see any scars, and asks to see it. Franco demurs, but she says that she's a nurse at a nearby hospital and has probably seen worse. Franco pulls down his collar and shows her, and she notes that it happened a few months ago, and that she can suggest something. She hands him a slip of paper and notes that it's her phone number, and that he should call her. Franco is impressed that it worked.
Mike and Theresa walk down the street. Theresa suggests that they go to a Truffaut film, but Mike (after revealing that he doesn't know who Truffaut is) says that he doesn't like subtitles because if he wanted to read, he'd stay home and read a book. Theresa laughs at the idea of Mike reading a book, and he protests that he does read. She asks if he means "the vari-speed section of [her] dildo manual." Mike says he's reading that Mickey Mantle biography, which you'd think would give him flashbacks to his near-rape. Theresa laughs that she gave him the book months ago, and that he's on the third page. Mike claims that he's savoring it, which makes Theresa laugh even harder.
Tommy sits outside Ground Zero, staring at the scumbag vendors some more. He takes a slug from a bottle of vodka, and then runs out and starts overturning the vendors' tables. He yells at the cookie vendor about his cousin dying on 9/11, and starts tossing cookies around. The vendor threatens to call the cops, and Tommy points out that they won't be happy, since he doesn't have any cop cookies. Tommy continues to fire cookies into the crowd, and then yells at the tourists, "You tell your friends all across America. When they come down here, don't come down here to buy cookies. Come down here to honor 343 brave, brave men who gave their lives. Bow your head to them! Think about their fallen brothers left behind. You want cookies? Huh? Then call Pepperidge Farms." Tommy whips it out and starts pissing on the remainder of the cookies. The cops pull up and cuff Tommy, who protests that his actions fall under free speech. The cop says that Tommy will be charged with being drunk and disorderly, as well as public urination. Tommy protests that he's a fireman and that the vendor doesn't have any cop cookies either.
Of course, Johnny uses his pull to get Tommy out of jail. The sergeant reminds Johnny that he wants four front-row tickets to The Lion King. Tommy asks if Johnny is "the King of Broadway all of a sudden," and that's all it takes to set Johnny off. He charges at his brother, and the two start fighting. After a few minutes, some bystanders run over to break it up, but Johnny and Tommy team up to shove the bystanders aside, complaining that people need to mind their own business. Johnny turns and sucker-punches Tommy in the stomach, and then grabs him by the hair and says, "You listen to me, asshole, and you listen real goddamn hard. You are officially through. No more parking ticket favors. No more background checks. No more legal work done on the arm. You're through! You want your kids back? For what? So they can live in some shithole with their drunk-ass, low-life, thickheaded mick father, huh? I don't think so, numb nuts. Clean up your act, Tommy, because then and only then are me or Eddie or anybody going to help you find your goddamn kids." Johnny lets Tommy go and walks away, throwing back, "Don't you dare call me 'til you get your ass back in AA. And don't screw up that apartment deal, Tommy. Low pro!" Tommy groans and tries to recover from the physical and emotional beating he just took.
Garrity walks into the firehouse. Sully calls him over and says that they may have a situation. Sully was talking to a pal and was told that it's illegal to take pornographic images and have the film developed commercially. I thought the lab just wouldn't develop them. Sully says that Laura could get arrested. Garrity wonders how he can get out of it, and Sully tells him he's on his own. Garrity protests that Sully told him to do it, and Sully says, "That won't hold up in court." Garrity is dumbstruck. Well, dumberstruck.
Tommy lets Sheila into his apartment. She's holding a giant shopping bag with baby-related images on the outside. She yells about her cabbie, and how he looked like a terrorist and smelled like camel shit. Classy. She finally looks at Tommy's face and notices that he's bruised and cut. Tommy says that he had a discussion with his brother. Sheila kisses him and goes to take a shower. Tommy checks out the stuff she brought over; it's all baby stuff, like bottles and toys.
Laura walks into the locker room, yelling out a warning that she's entering first. Garrity says that he wants to take some pictures, and was wondering about the nice camera that she had the other day. Laura laughs and says that it was a disposable. Garrity asks if he can take a look at it, and see if he likes it. Laura tells him to buy one himself at the supermarket. Garrity persists that he just wants to borrow hers, and Laura says she already dropped it off to be developed. Garrity backs off, and Laura calls him a freak and walks out. Garrity almost starts banging his head against the wall in frustration.
Mike walks out of a deli, having purchased what looks like quality porn. The sad thing is, he probably considers that choice reading material. He glances up and spots Theresa sitting at a nearby restaurant. He hides behind a pay phone, which isn't nearly big enough, and checks out the situation. Theresa is sitting with a fairly ugly guy, and laughing her fool head off. She's also dressed up very nicely, and wearing makeup, so it's clearly a date. Although if she were trying to hide it, she might have chosen a less obvious seat.
Sheila asks Tommy from the shower if he has any conditioner. Tommy would so not use conditioner. I'm surprised he doesn't just use a bar of soap instead of shampoo. Tommy pours himself a glass of whiskey in the kitchen as Sheila sings in the shower. He peeks into the bag of baby stuff again, and takes another slug.
Cut to Sheila and Tommy totally doing it. Sheila tells Tommy to stop, and whines that he smells and tastes like whiskey. Lest you think that she cares about his excessive drinking, she doesn't. She's just upset that she can't drink and doesn't want to smell or taste it on Tommy, because it's frustrating. Tommy says he can fix it, and hops up and shuffles to the bathroom, his pants around his ankles. After reminding Sheila to keep quiet, because he's trying to keep a low profile, he then shuffles to the kitchen and pours a glass of vodka. Sheila asks what he's doing, and he says that it's completely odorless. Sheila runs to the bedroom and starts putting on her clothes, preparing to leave. She yells that Tommy's a Neanderthal and that she's sick of the apartment. Tommy shushes her again. Sheila starts muttering, and Tommy complains that he can't hear her, but when she speaks up, he shushes her. Sheila starts to stomp out, yelling that he doesn't respect her or their baby, but Tommy stops her when they hear voices in the hallway.
Sheila turns and scribbles something on a pad of paper, then holds it up for Tommy to read. It reads, "You are an asshole." Tommy grabs the pad and pen and writes back, "Duh!" Denis Leary's face as he displays this message is hilarious. Sheila grabs the writing materials back and writes furiously as Tommy takes another slug of vodka. She holds up her message: "We are all U have left" and makes a softer face, one that says, "I'm not trying to hurt you, but you know it's true." Dude. Tommy angrily grabs the pad and tosses it aside. Sheila yells that she's going to leave out the front door. Tommy blocks her way, so she knees him in the balls and leaves. She tells the people in the hallway to meet their new neighbor. Tommy, writhing on the floor, protests that he doesn't really live there. He slams the door shut while Sheila gets into the elevator.
Tommy shows up at Lou's house and scares the crap out of Lou as he works on the car. Lou asks if Staten Island is treating Tommy well, and Tommy says it's great. Cut to Tommy freeing some kid's head (and the kid is played by Denis Leary's actual son) from a fence. Tommy tells Lou that they had a car fire the other week, which was both messy and scary. Cut to said car fire. The other firefighters are cautious, but the car is barely flaming, so Tommy just walks up, smashes the window, and pops the hood. Tommy asks Lou how Sully is doing. Lou says he's like Tommy, without the angst. Tommy says that his angst serves him pretty well in his new house. Lou finally stands up and tells Tommy, "All right, look, Tommy. We do this, right? I mean, I go to Perolli with this? You and I, we gotta be crystal goddamn clear on a couple of things. You gotta get off the booze, Tommy. No more drinking. In the house, before, on the job. It's a big-ticket item." Tommy promises that it's taken care of, and asks what else he can do. Lou says that he needs to make things right with Franco, face-to-face.
Tommy stands outside Ground Zero and stares. Finally, he picks up his phone and calls Mick. Tommy asks about the AA meeting Mick used to take him to. Mick thinks he's joking, but then says that it's at St. Michael's, every night at 7. Mick asks Tommy to meet him outside fifteen minutes before. Tommy says he'll be there. Mick asks Tommy not to bust his balls, and Tommy says he's not, and that he needs the help. The camera pulls up and away to reveal the scope of Ground Zero, and how small Tommy looks standing to it.
Laura shows up at Garrity's apartment and apologizes for bothering him on his day off. He invites her inside, and she starts talking about how she had an interesting evening when she tried to pick up her photos. Garrity tries to pretend he doesn't know what she's talking about, but Laura says she knows it was him. Garrity immediately says, "I'm so sorry. I really am. It wasn't my idea. Sully told me to do it." Garrity's phone rings and he says that he doesn't need to get it. Laura says he's lucky that the guy at the drugstore is her friend, because she could have gone to jail. Garrity says he didn't know what he was doing at the time, and that he only found out the consequences later. He asks how mad she is. Laura says she was pretty mad, but she's over it. She adds, "And then I took your picture, and I downloaded it onto my computer, and attached it to an ad for gay sex on Craigslist.com? I hope you don't mind. I gave them your home number." Garrity's phone continues ringing, and his cell phone starts ringing too. Laura says that she gave them his cell-phone number too, as she walks out of the apartment, leaving Garrity trying to figure out whether or not to answer his phones. He quickly drops them, like they have cooties.
Mike stands outside Theresa's apartment, waiting for her. She walks up and asks why he's there. Mike says that he saw her with "that geek." Theresa says he was just some guy she met, and that they only talked and had coffee. Mike says that he knows Theresa thinks Mike's stupid. Theresa responds, "You're not as dumb as you make yourself out to be, Michael." Mike doesn't get what that means. I don't get when Theresa morphed from desperate, chubby, kind of schlumpy girl into fabulous career girl who buys fresh flowers from the market. I guess they're trying to say that her newfound confidence has spilled over into other areas of her life, but it seems kind of abrupt. Mike says, "Look, I know I'm not as smart as you and stuff, and I don't like to do stuff that you like to do and stuff, you know, but, I mean, the sex is great, right?" Theresa looks uncomfortable, glances around, and then says slowly, "The sex is just okay." Mike is shocked and asks about his "special trick." Theresa walks past him and opens her door, commenting that if she wanted special tricks, she'd be blowing David Copperfield. Mike thinks that's the name of the guy she met. Oy. Theresa turns in the doorway and says that he probably shouldn't come in, and then closes the gate. Mike looks upset, and then walks to the curb and throws some garbage around.
Franco pops a number of pills out of a prescription bottle. He caps the bottle, and then changes his mind, shakes out a few more and pops them, too. The phone rings, and Keela hands it to him. Franco checks the Caller ID and puts the phone down.
Cut to Tommy leaving a message for Franco. He's in the midst of pouring his bottles of booze down the sink. Tommy says that he'd love to get coffee with Franco and catch up, and asks Franco to call. Tommy finishes and tosses his phone on the couch. He notices that it's beeping like he has a voicemail, so he walks back out and checks his messages. It's Janet and the kids. Connor goes first and asks if Tommy can come visit them, and asks Tommy to look for his fire helmet. Katie takes the phone , and she's crying. She says that she really misses Tommy, and that she drew him a picture of Uncle Jimmy. God, that's heartbreaking. Colleen says that she doesn't want to talk to her father, and Janet tries to force her to, but the voicemail ends.
Tommy starts digging through some boxes in the closet until he finds Connor's fire helmet. He dusts it off and takes it into the kitchen, where he pours himself a big glass of vodka.
Time for the episode-ending montage! Mike looks at a photo-booth set of pictures of him and Theresa in happier times.
Lou goes to the movies by himself, surrounded by couples.
Tommy drink and drinks and coughs, and then he spots a video on the floor labeled "Xmas 2000" and puts it in the VCR.
Keela plays with some stuffed animals as Franco nods out from pain pills.
Mick waits for Tommy to show up to the AA meeting.
Tommy flips on his video, and sees his family in happier times, although the kids all look the same age they are now, even though the video was supposed to be five years old. On the tape, Janet encourages the kids to say that Tommy is the best daddy in the whole world. Tommy starts crying, his face racked with pain, as he sees Jimmy, Sheila, and Janet goofing around. When Colleen shows up on screen, Tommy leans closer to the camera, as if he's trying to get closer to his family. The video ends with the family forming a goofy kickline and chanting, "We love Dad!" And while that does seem a bit over-the-top, I've seen goofier family videos. Tommy's glass slips from his hand and he spills vodka all over himself and swears. He looks at the bottle in his hand and just pours it over his head, then tosses it aside. He pulls out his Zippo and lights it, and then stares at it, trying to get up the nerve to light himself on fire.
Cut to Tommy walking into the AA meeting and knocking over a bunch of chairs. He takes a seat to Mick, who grimaces. Everyone around him cowers away from the stench of alcohol on Tommy, but at least he's there.