Rachel's sort-of boyfriend, Erik, proves that he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer when he sends her ice cream. Through the mail. Wes and Nehemiah reveal the groupie drawer, where they keep all the phone numbers of the chicks they try to pick up in Austin. The chicks are interested in camera time, but not in bedroom time. Johanna makes a bet with Wes to prove that he can't get any girl he wants, and Wes loses the bet when he can't convince some random girl in a bar to make out with him. Rachel has a crush on Collin, a bouncer, and he's actually interested in her, and invites her out for sushi. Collin comes back to the house and he and Rachel make out for a while, until she kicks him out. Wes finds out that Collin has a girlfriend anyway, and tells Rachel. She sees Collin with his girlfriend in a bar and calls Erik to make sure she's still got him in her back pocket.
Before the recap begins, I have an announcement to make. After six years and nine and a half seasons consisting of 211 recaps and 18 Extras, I'm going to hand over the reins of recapping this show to the fabulous, hilarious Stee. I'll still be recapping other shows for the site, but I'm too burnt out on this one. Not to get all nostalgic, but this was the first show I recapped for the site, and my recaps were some of the first ever to be posted way back in the Hawaii season. Thanks to all of the readers and posters and especially thanks to Wing Chun and Sars for giving me my first professional writing gig. ["And thank you for rocking it." -- Wing Chun]
And now on with the show! Hey, they're in Austin! And in case you didn't figure that out from the credits, which just played, the production team helpfully spelled out the word "Austin" in neon letters or something on the top of the house. I propose that they did this because Austin doesn't have one of those instantly recognizable landmarks, like the Space Needle or the Eiffel Tower. Although I'm not entirely sure why viewers even need to know that they're in Austin, because it's not like the storylines of the show depend on it. They could be in Philly, or Vegas, or wherever, and the storylines are pretty much the same. Anyway.
Nehemiah edits his piece on Wes using the Avid system. He interviews that he's spent more time on his than any of his roommates, and he thinks it came out pretty well. They're going to show their pieces to Paul, their boss.
The roommates gather with their videotapes. Rachel is up first, and explains that it's not a finished product, so she doesn't show it. Nehemiah brags about how far he's gotten on his project, explaining that he's got effects and transitions and titles and blah de bloo, and frankly it sounds like he put more work into this project than the editors do in any particular episode of this show. Then again, what else does he have to do with his free time? Lacey interviews that she's annoyed by Nehemiah's teacher's-pet antics, probably mostly because she has already designated herself as being in charge of their job, and she wanted to be the teacher's pet.
Paul wants to look at Nehemiah's tape first. They pop the tape in, and Nehemiah has titled it "Still Waters Run Deep" and it's about Wes. He opens and closes with a shot of the water, and in the middle are a lot of shots of Wes waxing philosophical about how he wants to have no regrets in life and a lot of other cheesy shit he read in Maxim or something. It's boring, but then again, Wes is boring, so assembling it was probably a challenge. Then again, I thought Nehemiah was going to do something funny by juxtaposing shots of Wes talking about what a go-getter he is with shots of Wes sleeping all the time. That would have been funny. When it finishes, Paul is less than enthusiastic and explains that he's confused by the shots of the water. Clearly he didn't read the title of the piece! Even though the title made no sense and didn't really apply to Wes, unless Nehemiah was being sarcastic. But as someone who needs to come up with an episode title every week, I can understand that, sometimes, you miss the mark. Paul tells them that this is a process, and that they all need to make progress. Melinda interviews that she can tell Nehemiah is upset about the criticism. Nehemiah says he knows he has room for improvement, and that he also respects Paul's expertise on the subject.
Paul wants to look at a few more tapes. He pops in Lacey's, but there's some extra footage on it that she doesn't remember recording. They play it, and Rachel blurts, "It's like when I get drunk and I pleasure myself." Everyone laughs, and Rachel is embarrassed. Oh, how much more interesting this show would be if there were a hint that Lacey had included that footage on purpose because she is secretly evil. But I think it was just genuine ineptitude.
Paul asks Danny if he wants to participate in the project, even though he got a late start. Danny says he'd like to. Danny interviews that he is both camcorder and computer "retahded." If only he had said, "wicked retahded," that would have made my day.
The roommates get a giant bin of CDs and promotional materials for bands they are considering documenting during SXSW. The roommates dig through the bin. Melinda interviews that they're supposed to listen to the CDs and read the promotional materials to figure out which bands they want to cover. Oh, don't read the promotional materials. I've had jobs where I booked bands, and the promotional materials are just a bunch of bullshit. I've written promotional material for a band, and it was also bullshit.
Lacey has already chosen the bands she wants -- Enon and DMBQ. Now let me tell you a little bit about my musical tastes. I don't really have any. I'm totally over the phase in my life where I think an artist has to be unsigned or independent for me to enjoy listening to it; let's call that phase "college." I get that the music played on the radio is usually the most watered-down and mainstream crap out there, but I also can appreciate a good pop song, and I think it takes skill to write one. And I thought I was really old and out-of-touch until last week, when I was watching the NFL launch concert, and a band came on and my brother was like, "Who are these guys?" and I said, "Um, Green Day?" and he was like, "They're pretty good. At least you can understand what the guy is saying, and he's not just screaming." Lest you think my brother is nearing retirement age, he's thirty-six. So that made me feel better.
But enough about me. Danny is surprised that many of the bands represented in the bin are already signed to labels, and Lacey explains that the labels are usually just small. Or not -- it's not like SXSW doesn't have its share of major label bands now.
Johanna gets busy listening to CDs. She enjoys a band called Hellogoodbye. Lacey listens and shakes her head, saying dismissively that this band sounds "just like the All-American Rejects." Frankly, they sound just like Green Day to me, but most punk-pop does. Lacey interviews that she likes bands that play music because they are inspired, and not because it's the cool thing to do. And she can tell this by listening to their CD how, exactly? Lacey dismisses the band as "anorexic boys squeezing into little jeans and getting girls' haircuts and singing about girls." Are they the Rolling Stones? And for someone who's not about image and all about the music, what does Lacey care what the band members wear or what their lyrics are about, as long as they're inspired? Danny says he likes that kind of music. Danny interviews that Lacey tries to put down music everyone else likes. Lacey points out that they have a great opportunity, and that she doesn't want to use it to promote mediocre music. And I agree with her, but they also shouldn't pick the most out-there band, if the music blows. Danny wants to listen to more music before he makes a decision.
any of the bands, and he wishes there was more hip-hop. Danny listens to a band called Halifax. In a confessional, Lacey says that no one else will like the bands she does, because she lives with "pretty stereotypical types of people that listen to pretty stereotypical types of music." Unlike Lacey, who is raging against the machine by...appearing on a reality show on MTV, which is about the least punk rock thing that you can do. I don't think Lacey is as bad as Frankie in the Department of Delusion, but she needs to watch it. Danny tells Melinda that Halifax is exactly like the kind of music he would listen to at home, kind of proving Lacey's point.Danny interviews Nehemiah for his project. He says he chose to focus on Nehemiah, because he thinks there's a lot of story there. Nehemiah explains that he grew up without a father, and that his mother was addicted to drugs, and so it was hard for her to be there for him. Nehemiah interviews that he has trust issues with women due to his past. Danny asks Nehemiah what he would change about himself, and Nehemiah says that he wishes he could trust people more. Danny interviews that this project has made him feel closer to Nehemiah, because of their issues with their mothers.
The roommates carry the bin of music to Paul's office. Paul asks whether they've agreed on a band yet. Lacey says that a majority of people like Enon. Lacey interviews that she likes Enron because they're very different, and they don't care how much they sell. Which is why they're going to SXSW. I mean, come on. The only artist who doesn't care how much they sell is the one who sits alone in his or her room, playing guitar to some stuffed animals. Everyone sells out. It's just a matter of degree. Everyone yells that they like Halifax, and Lacey says she hates them. Paul, clearly on the MTV payroll, has to fulfill his contractual obligations by suggesting Hellogoodbye. Everyone is enthusiastic except Lacey, who acts like Paul just stepped on her kitten. And that's not a euphemism, although it probably should be. Wes interviews that Lacey doesn't want a stereotypical band, which is fine, but she acts like if a band is on the radio or MTV, she doesn't like them any more. Which is so true, and so annoying. And you know how I hate to agree with Wes. The roommates listen to a Hellogoodbye song. Lacey interviews that she's trying to be better about patience. Jenn, their instructor, asks if the roommates have set up criteria for choosing a band beyond liking their music. Jenn has a good point; you'd want the band to have an interesting backstory, or a film about them is going to be like watching an episode of this show. Paul suggests that the roommates contact the bands and do phone interviews.
Everyone except Lacey and Rachel goes out to eat and discuss what bands that they like. It comes out that Nehemiah kind of likes Hellogoodbye, and that Lacey told everyone that Nehemiah liked DMBQ and Death from Above. Wes interviews that there's already a big problem, because Lacey is manipulating things behind the scenes. They put in a shot of Lacey on the computer, apparently manipulating things through the power of the internet. And again, I really wish Lacey truly were trying to manipulate her roommates with evil intentions, because at least that would be interesting. Instead, my guess is that she just exaggerated a conversation she had with Nehemiah, or there was a miscommunication somewhere. Danny posits that Lacey, in trying to avoid clichés, has become a bit of a cliché. I knew a girl in college named Rachel, who was all antiestablishment and shit, and she was such a cliché with her all-black and her dyed black hair and her black lipstick and her stripey stockings and her Cure listening, and I'm all for personal expression, but then she was one of those people who would get all pissed off when people stared at her, like, why dress like a cartoon character unless you want people to stare at you? At least be honest about it. Plus, she was really annoying and emotionally needy.
Lacey and Rachel talk about how they have to email the bands to set up interviews. Lacey doesn't want Danny calling the bands, because she thinks he's dumb and will make a bad impression. Does she think the bands are made up of investment bankers and post-doctoral students? I'd bet most of them are actually quite a bit like Danny. Lacey interviews that she's taken charge of the job because no one else will. And also, because she's a control freak. Rachel is surprised that Nehemiah hasn't taken more of an interest in their job, since it's something he wants to do in life, and something he will actually be able to use on a résumé.
Nehemiah and Wes head out to a bar. Wes tries to do a pimp walk and says that he'll be black by the time they move out. Nehemiah says it's not possible, which, thank you for disabusing Wes of that notion. Nehemiah interviews that he's gotten really close with Wes.
In the bar, something happens that we don't see, and suddenly Nehemiah is arguing with another patron in the bar. Apparently, some other guys pushed Nehemiah and called him a bitch. In another part of the bar, Wes is busy trying to kiss Wren. Then someone spills a drink on Nehemiah and he loses it and starts screaming at people.
Somehow, Wes manages to get Nehemiah out of the bar, along with Wren and some other chick. Wes interviews that he realizes this is the same street where Danny got punched in the eyehole. A random guy comes by and yells, "time you hit me, I'm going to fuck you up." Ooh, brave, random guy. This sets Nehemiah off again, and Wes and the girls hold him back. Nehemiah starts pushing Wes, who says that they need to go home. There are huge crowds out in the street, and it really does look like the scene when Danny got punched, so I don't blame Wes for getting nervous.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was an early episode of Little House where a new boy named Johnny Johnson moved to Walnut Grove. He was ugly and had a head like Frankenstein, so I immediately assumed that he was a nephew or illegitimate son of Doc Baker, but he wasn't. He also wore the tightest overalls this side of Studio 54 or some roller boogie movie. Anyway, even though he was super-old, Laura fell in love with him and started plotting to get him to fall in love with her, and for a second I thought it was going to be the episode where Laura puts apples down the front of her dresses to simulate big boobs and then goes up to write on the board and one of the apples falls out, which was awesome, but it wasn't that episode. Instead, Laura just stared at Johnny Johnson like a creepy stalker, but Johnny had the hots for Mary, which makes sense, because Mary was a hottie back in the day, even if she was kind of a prude and no fun besides. So Laura asked Ma how she snared Pa, and Ma spun some bullshit about kindred spirits, and so Laura asked Johnny on a picnic, and he agreed to go, but then spent the whole time pumping Laura for information about Mary. So Laura got pissed at Mary, because it was somehow Mary's fault that Johnny didn't want to date someone like seven years younger than he was who hadn't hit puberty yet. So Johnny carves Mary's initials into the Sweetheart Tree, and Laura gets pissed at Mary yet again, and Mary gets pissed at Johnny because she doesn't even like him, and Pa gets pissed at Johnny for daring to be sweet on one of his girls, and Ma gets pissed at Pa for being such a buffoon, and Carrie pisses herself, because she's kind of slow, and in the end Pa has a gentle talk with Laura down by the creek and spins another bullshit story about how Ma was an awkward little girl who blossomed into a beautiful woman and he fell in love with her when what he should have said was that Laura shouldn't waste her time with boys who just aren't into her, but then we would have never had the Manly saga, so I guess it all worked out in the end. And it was awesome.
Early the morning, Nehemiah gets on the editing system and edits Danny's video for him. Nehemiah interviews that he knows Danny is stressed about it, and that he wants to help if he can. Nehemiah informs Danny of what he did, and Danny is surprised and grateful. Danny interviews that he woke up and his editing was done, which shows how much Nehemiah wants to help out.
The roommates meet with Paul, who wants to see the portrait of Nehemiah. Danny says that the editing is kind of iffy. The roommates watch the tape, which looks pretty finished to me. All of the shots of Nehemiah are from the back, which was an interesting choice. It might be a little pretentious, but at least Danny had an idea and went with it. The portrait starts out with Nehemiah being very serious and talking about how he has a fear of failure, and concludes with him doing a little dance on the street and smiling. Paul thinks it's very nice, and Danny just accepts the compliment and doesn't even say anything about Nehemiah's having helped him out. Danny interviews that the portrait shows that he won't lag behind and will do the work. Except for the work Nehemiah does for him. Nehemiah interviews that he's been knocked off his horse, and now he needs to get back on. I'm still mad that Danny didn't acknowledge that Nehemiah did the work for him.
And that's it! Be nice to Stee.