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Is it just me, or does it seem like the seasons on this show, while coming fast and furious, are less memorable? Like I just opened up this file to start recapping and it made me think about the season and...nothing. The only thing I really remember is crazy Frankie and Brad and Randy dressing up like Super Mario Brothers. And until this very moment, I forgot Jacquese existed. And I also just wrote this whole paragraph and then realized that the Philadelphia season was the most recent one, not San Diego. See what I mean? It just ended a few months ago! I know, I know. Shut up, old lady, and get to the recapping.
We open on the exterior of a small house in Billerica, Massachusetts at night. Inside, Danny, age twenty-one, is saying goodbye to his extended family. He voice-overs that one of his sisters is in medical school, and his other sister is an RN, and he's "banging nails." We see a clip for Danny's audition tape, in which he walk on a roof and explains that he builds houses with his dad. He voice-overs that it's going to be a great experience to get out of town, but that he will miss his family. His dad drives him to the airport. Danny voice-overs that his parents are divorced, and that he doesn't really get along with his mother. He thinks it'll be tough to say goodbye to his dad, because they spend every day together, but that he knows that his father wants the best for him. They hug goodbye, and Danny boards the plane. He interviews that he wants something new and different, and that he hopes to find it in Texas. He adds that he won't miss the snow.
Austin. Danny arrives at the airport and finds an old Santa Claus-looking dude outside holding a piece of notebook paper that reads "Danny." They couldn't spring for an actual sign, or at least one printed out from a computer? Lame. Danny interviews that he didn't know what to expect from Texas, and thought he might see guys on horseback wearing cowboy hats. Yes, just like how, in Massachusetts, everyone wears tricorne hats and knee breeches and dumps tea in the harbor. Actually, that would be pretty awesome. Danny befriends the cabbie, who was clearly paid to get Danny talking. Danny interviews that he thinks it's a great thing that he's there. Did I mention that Danny is super-cute? He's cute.
Rachel, age twenty-one, is from Valencia, California. She interviews that she's a nurse in the Army, and that she was sent to Iraq on the day after the President announced that we would be sending troops in. She adds that she was scared, and knew it would be hard work.
“ season, they'll be someone in a rickshaw, someone riding on an elephant's back, and someone being transported on a litter like Cleopatra. Obviously, that last roommate will turn out to be the bitch. Or the gay man. ”
Nehemiah, age nineteen, is from California. The whole state, apparently. He lives everywhere. He has a degree in filmmaking, and wants to make movies. ["He hasa degree and he's nineteen? Are we sure he doesn't have a certificate from a diploma mill online?" -- Wing Chun] He interviews that he knew he had to get out of California, and away from people who were bad influences on him. ["Yes, when you want to make movies, California is absolutely the worst place to be." -- Wing Chun] Nehemiah walks around a giant monument and finds Rachel sitting there, waiting. They greet each other with a hug. Rachel interviews that Nehemiah "looked like the picture of Black power," but that he smiled, so she felt welcome. She's referring to Nehemiah's Africa necklace, I guess. Rachel asks if he has a girlfriend. Nehemiah (who really needs a nickname, because that's getting tiresome to type out) says that they're taking a break, and Rachel says that she and her boyfriend are, too. She adds that their rule is that they can't have sex, fall in love, or speak baby talk. I was on board until that last part. They can't speak baby talk? That should be, like, a rule in life. Nehemiah doesn't think Rachel can hold up her end of the bargain, and they bet fifty bucks on it. A trolley pulls up, and they get on. Nehemiah interviews that he thinks this is going to be the best five months of his life.
Johanna, age twenty-one, was born and raised in Lima, Peru. She and her mother moved to Riverside, California when she was ten. Riverside! Hometown of Julie Cooper-Nichol! Johanna is a case manager at a home for teens, and she was accepted into Columbia University for an MSW, but she deferred it to be on the show. Johanna interviews that she wants to have fun while she's young.
Wes, age twenty, is from a suburb of Kansas City. He thinks it was a good place to grow up, but not a good place to learn about yourself and the world. We see footage from Wes's audition tape, in which he has a Mohawk and plays football. Wes interviews that he went to "the #1 party school in America, Arizona State." Anyone who brags that his or her school is known for partying needs to get a grip. You don't have to go to college to party. Save the tuition money and just move to Arizona and get a job.
Johanna and Wes meet each other and immediately hug and then shake hands, which cracks me up, for some reason. Wes interviews that Johanna is "one of the most beautiful, interesting, and mysterious girls [he's] ever seen." Because she has brown skin! She's exotic! Shut up, Wes. They get on a boat. It always cracks me up how the producers use as many modes of transportation as possible in the first episode. season, they'll be someone in a rickshaw, someone riding on an elephant's back, and someone being transported on a litter like Cleopatra. Obviously, that last roommate will turn out to be the bitch. Or the gay man. Johanna reports that she goes by "Jo," and that she's "single and ready to mingle." Wes says that he's the same.