Melanie, Landon, and MJ sit around the bar in the kitchen. Melanie reveals that she's got a red, itchy, bumpy rash around her waistband. She wonder what it's from. Landon and MJ have no clue. Melanie overshares that she has similar bumps around her nipples. I never wanted to picture Melanie's nipples, and I definitely don't want to picture them with red bumps around them. Melanie interviews that she thinks it could be an allergic reaction to something she came into contact with when they were pulling weeds at Northern Home. Landon points out that her rash seems to be at points where her clothing creates friction, like her waistband and under her arms. He suggests that she go for a day without underwear or a bra. Melanie laughs at that suggestion. Landon interviews that the bumps look like acne or chicken pox.
A caption tells us that it's three days before the roommates have to do a presentation to the Soul management. The roommates sit in the conference room at a meeting, and Anthony from the Board of Directors says that he wants to see a drawing of the plan for their playground at Northern Home, and he also wants them to make a presentation. Everyone looks worried. Nice of Anthony to give them three days to accomplish all this! Although it's not like the roommates have tons of other obligations taking up their time. Well, except for Melanie scratching her rash. I imagine that takes a few hours out of each day.
Donna from Northern Home has a husband, Chuck, who is a doctor. She takes Melanie to see Dr. Chuck, but the cameras don't get to sit in on the appointment.
Later, Melanie schlumps into the house, looking sad. She finds Landon and MJ in the hot tub, and they ask what's wrong with her. Melanie doesn't want to say, because it's gross. She finally admits that she has scabies! Ew! My best friend and I were talking about this episode after it aired, and she told me that she went to college with a guy they called Stevie D and then he got scabies, so they all called him Scabie D. So from now on, Melanie is Scabie D. It's her rap star name. Landon asks how Melanie contracted the bugs, and Melanie says you can get it from a handshake (which, if you follow the link, you will see is not true). Landon realizes that this means any of the roommates could get it. MJ yells that he shook Melanie's hand yesterday, which cracked me up. MJ interviews that scabies are little bugs, and that he'll freak out if he gets them. MJ and Landon start splashing themselves with water, as if to wash the bugs off of themselves. At this point in the episode, I started feeling itchy all over my body and I almost had to go take a shower just to watch the rest of it. Scabie D half-laughs and half-whines that she feels really gross, and she's not a dirty person. I have to say that this episode made me re-evaluate all of the times that Melanie's hair looked really greasy and matted-down. I thought she was just using too much product, but now I think she doesn't shower that often. Landon laughs and calls Scabie D a "dirty whore." Melanie starts to walk out of the room as Karamo enters and asks what's going on. Landon tells him, and Karamo unconsciously starts scratching his chest as he asks what scabies is. Melanie walks back in and Karamo steps away from her like she has the plague. Hee! MJ dramatically intones, "And that's when I knew...Melanie had scabies." Everyone laughs except Scabie D.
Scabie D goes into the bathroom and reads the instructions on the prescription shampoo she got from Dr. Chuck. Landon runs through the halls and laughs at her scabies. Scabie D strips her bed and sprays down her mattress with some sort of bug spray. The editors cut to footage of about a million moths flitting around a light outside. Heh.
At work the day, Scabie D calls Dr. Chuck and says that she's feeling better. Dr. Chuck says that he'll come by the house and talk to her roommates about what they need to do to prevent an outbreak. Scabie D interviews that she's worried about her roommates catching scabies because they all live in such close quarters. Scabie D hangs up the phone and tells her roommates about Dr. Chuck's visit.
It's now two days until the presentation. Landon works on the computer and tries to get Shavonda's and Sarah's input. He needs help cutting a phrase down into a two-word headline. Sarah is no help, and doesn't understand why they need to do it. Landon walks away, because he thinks Sarah disagrees with what he wants to do. Sarah accuses him of trying to take over the presentation, and being unwilling to compromise, even though she's willing to negotiate. Landon thinks Sarah was being passive-aggressive, which she was. She kept saying his idea was fine, even though she clearly disagreed with him. So either tell him why you don't like his idea, offer up a better suggestion, or keep your yap shut. In a confessional, Landon says that he knows a lot about the subject of the presentation, and that he just wants his roommates to trust him. Sarah tells Landon that he seems to be second-guessing her research, because he won't listen to what she has to say. Landon asks why they have to fight about every little thing. In a confessional, Landon says that this is his passion, and that he wants the Soul bigwigs to be blown away by their presentation. Sarah finally tries to make up with Landon when she realizes that she needs him to create the presentation in PowerPoint, since she doesn't know how to use it. Which is really sad, because a basic PowerPoint presentation takes about fifteen seconds to produce.
At home, Landon answers the phone by saying, "Scabies Central." The roommates, minus Scabie D, sit around and discuss scabies. MJ says that Scabie D went to the store, and Karamo asks if she should really be going out in public and spreading her bugs. It's not leprosy, dude. ["Maybe not, but if I ever got it -- GOD FORBID -- I would put myself under house arrest and spend like an entire week in a scalding shower. Because ew. EW." -- Wing Chun] Willie asks whether the bugs can live in carpets, and Shavonda says that they are like lice. MJ says that Dr. Chuck is going to have their house sprayed. Willie nearly gets the vapors just thinking about bugs in the carpets, which is funny, although if he were that worried about bugs, you'd think he'd take out the garbage once in a while. Willie interviews, "I'm really nervous because I've never had body lice issues. Ever in my life. Nothing has ever crawled up my skin or in any crevice." Insert your own joke here. Willie makes Karamo check him for bugs. Sarah complains about how gross it is in the house anyway as Scabie D walks in. Sarah interviews that Melanie's scabies is the best thing to happen to the roommates, because it will force them to face up to their own filth. Shavonda scratches her face, and Willie tells her to cut it out. Sarah spots a bug or something, and everyone starts screaming. Willie runs off to take a shower.
The roommates strip their beds and pile up their dirty laundry downstairs. They spray all the cloth surfaces in the house, including the furniture and the pool table. Karamo calls his friend Ray and explains what happened. Ray laughs and asks if scabies is anything like crabs. Karamo asks who has scabies in 2004. ["Dude, seriously." -- Wing Chun] MJ finds a pillow shaped like a spider and pretends it's attacking him. Everyone wipes down surfaces and straightens up. MJ finds a pillow shaped like an ant and throws it at Landon, yelling, "Watch out! Scabies!" At least they can find the humor in the situation. Between taking Silkwood showers.
Donna and Dr. Chuck arrive to check out the roommates for scabies. Dr. Chuck says that anyone who was in close contact with Scabie D needs to use the shampoo and follow the course of treatment. MJ interviews that the shampoo smelled bad and was the consistency of honey. Dr. Chuck examines each of the roommates. Scabie D reads an information sheet about how the bugs hatch inside your body and then burrow out through your skin. Oh my God. I have to go take another shower. Landon points out that the bumps on Scabie D's skin are where the bugs burrowed out. Shavonda gasps and interviews that, luckily, no one but Scabie D got scabies. Sarah interviews that, after Dr. Chuck's visit, she felt a lot better.
Landon reads the instructions on using the scabies shampoo to Karamo, who is in the shower. He barely gets one sentence out before Scabie D interrupts and corrects him. In a confessional, Landon wears a hilarious shirt that reads, "Got Crabs?" and says that Melanie thinks she's the expert on everything. Karamo tells Scabie D to shut up so that Landon can read the instructions to him. Landon tries again, and Scabie D keeps interrupting and correcting him. Landon puts the instructions down and walks away, but then returns and hands the instructions to Karamo in the shower.
Shavonda, Landon, and MJ go out to eat. Landon tells the story of how Scabie D kept interrupting him while he tried to read the instructions to Karamo. Shavonda says that every time she talks to Scabie D, she feels like Scabie D is just waiting to interrupt instead of actually listening. MJ says that, earlier, Scabie D talked to him for fifteen minutes straight while MJ just sat there silently. Then MJ said, like, one sentence, and Scabie D interrupted and started talking again. Shavonda wonders how you tell someone that his or her personality annoys you. Well, first you get hired as a recapper, and then...
It's the last day before the presentation. The roommates are at work. Laura comes in and starts the meeting. MJ says that they have just about finished with the presentation. Laura lists all of the people who will be attending, and it's just about everyone. Later, Landon makes copies of the handouts. Mimi (the CEO of the Soul, who yelled at Landon about fraternization) walks up and hugs MJ. He says hello and then pretends to shield her from seeing the handouts. Mimi asks if they'll be on time for the presentation, and MJ promises that they will. MJ notes that this presentation is kind of a culmination of all they've done so far. Landon and MJ get into the elevator, and Landon says he's worried that they're not ready for the presentation, and then adds that he's worried he's not ready.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was the premiere episode of the new season of The Surreal Life. I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I think I've seen every episode of that show, not because I'm all that interested, but because I somehow always end up watching it at, like, 3:00 AM. So I watched the premiere, and I am so glad that I did. First to show up was the wrestler formerly known as Chyna, and I don't know if you have seen the pictures circulating on the internet of her private parts, but if you haven't, avoid them at all costs, because I am scarred for life. For life! So Chyna immediately grabbed the one single room, ignoring the fact that everything in the room (closet, bed, toilet, chairs) were all really scaled down. And then she got drunk. So the others (Peter Brady, Da Brat, Jane Wiedlin, Adrienne Curry, Marcus Schenkenburg, and Mini-Me) all showed up. And I knew it was going to be awesome because Mini-Me drives one of those little motorized scooters everywhere. So obviously, the room with the scaled-down furniture was supposed to be for Mini-Me, and he got pissed, but Chyna wouldn't give it up. And she was standing in there to this miniature closet, going, "What? Why are you guys saying this room is for [Mini-Me]? Why can't it be my room?" She finally agreed to give it up. So then for dinner, Adrienne Curry served sushi off her naked body and Mini-Me was totally wasted and like, rubbing her nipple, which was creepy. So he passed out in his bed, and Adrienne and Jane decided to go naked in the hot tub. Peter Brady told Mini-Me that the girls were naked, and Mini-Me came back out. So then they're all sitting around (fully clothed) and Mini-Me is totally rubbing up on Peter Brady's thigh and patting him and loving him up as they sit together on this bench. And then Mini-Me totally passes out and nearly falls off the bench. So Peter Brady sets him back up, and he passes out a few more times, so Peter Brady ends up carrying him like a baby back into the house, which was hilarious. So then later, Da Brat gets up to sleep on the couch, because her roommate Chyna is snoring. On the way, she sees Mini-Me, stark naked, sitting on his scooter in the exercise room. So she asks if he's okay, and she notices that he's taking a whiz in the corner. You haven't lived until you've seen Mini-Me, naked, peeing in the corner while sitting on his scooter. I hope he didn't mess up the electrical system. So Da Brat gets Peter Brady, but what do you do in that situation? Laugh. Which is what everyone did. And it was awesome.
It's three hours until the presentation, and the roommates are all getting out of bed and getting ready. Let's look at what they've set us up to expect, okay? We would expect that something will go wrong with Landon not being prepared. Or, it's possible that one of the other roommates will screw up because they didn't do what Landon wanted. Or, they might be late. Those are the points that have been emphasized in this episode, or at least in the non-scabies parts.
The roommates pile into the van. MJ interviews that they're all really nervous. Shavonda interviews that it's time to show the Soul bigwigs that they're prepared and competent. The roommates arrive to the presentation early, and the Soul bigwigs file in. So they weren't late. The last bigwig to walk into the room is none other than Jon Bon Jovi, who still has chick hair. The roommates begin their presentation, and take turns explaining the project. They totally don't use PowerPoint, so I don't know what that whole argument was about. The only really interesting part is when Karamo shows off a nice illustration of what the playground will look like, but I think they got that illustration from the company they visited a few episodes ago, so I don't give the roommates credit for that. Overall, the presentation is nothing spectacular, but it seems to fit the bill, as the bigwigs all look happy. So what was all that buildup for? No reason. Jon Bon Jovi says that he wanted the roommates to make him proud, and that they have exceeded his expectations. He announces that they will get a special reward today at 2:00 PM. The roommates all giggle. Laura congratulates the roommates on a job well done. I have to say that this might be the only season that the roommates have had a job and not totally screwed it up. So far.
The roommates go home and wait for their surprise. Willie calls out that it's 2:00, and the doorbell rings. MJ and Landon run to answer it, but something's wrong with their front door and it won't open. The other roommates run over and frantically try to open the door. Karamo runs up and practically jumps out the window, and others yell to the person outside to stick around while they figure out how to open the door. Everyone is frantic. Landon gets a screwdriver and takes the latch off the door. The person outside hands each roommates a backpack, and they all spring back into the living room to see what's inside. As they run, Karamo screams and barely notices that his shorts are totally falling off, which cracked me up. They all start digging through their backpacks, trying to figure out where they will be going. No one can find the information. Finally, Willie finds a folder or something and frantically reads it as the others guess where they might be going. Willie stops and yells, "FIJI!!!!" Everyone starts screaming and jumping around and hugging. Except Sarah, who totally missed the announcement and looks clueless. Karamo fills her in, and she starts jumping and screaming too. The episode ends with the roommates all hugging and celebrating. Aw. That was actually interesting and almost touching! I'm sure that will be the only time that will happen this season.