Vanessa welcomes us to the show, and who the hell is Vanessa? I mean, I had heard of La La before she hosted, but I have never seen this chick in my life. She introduces the roommates, all of whom look exactly the same except for Robin, Charlie, and Frankie. Robin's hair is a lot longer and a lot blonder. Charlie's skin has cleared up and his hair looks less greasy. Frankie. Oh, dear. Frankie is either wearing a wig, or she has dyed her hair black with gray, magenta, and blue highlights. And she's cut those really short bangs that very, very few people can pull off. And she's wearing a leopard-print pillbox hat. And a leopard-print choker. She's trying so hard that she's practically sweating. I'll just say at the top that this is going to be difficult to recap because they all talk over each other constantly, but I'll do my best!
Vanessa opens by asking what it's like for them to be back together. They all say it's natural and that there's a good vibe. Frankie says that it's comfortable, despite the fact that it will shortly be revealed that everyone kind of hates her.
Vanessa introduces a clip package of hookups. We get to see Cameran and Brad in the bathroom, Andrea's visit, the camping hookup, and the kiss in the hot tub. Vanessa asks if it ever went further than making out. Cameran swears that it didn't. Brad says that it was a difficult situation, but doesn't explain further. Vanessa asks specifically about the bathroom incident, and Cameran explains that she peed in the toilet while Brad peed in the trashcan. Classy. Cameran says that she didn't think Brad would try to hook up with her in there. Frankie says that they all thought something was going down. Brad says it wasn't a big deal because he didn't "pull it out." Randy thinks that peeing in front of someone is more intimate than kissing. Word, Randy. Vanessa asks if it was weird to hang out with Brad's girlfriend. Cameran says she tried to think of Andrea as "just some ho" and Brad tells her that it's harsh. Brad says that he and Andrea are actually not even friends now, due to the show and some things he found out when he got home. Way to out her as a cheater on national television, Brad.
Vanessa introduces the Randy and Robin clip package. We see them shower together, the infamous "Boom! Bazooka Joe!" incident, Robin fighting with Randy in a cab, and Robin drunkenly falling out of bed. Vanessa asks what in the hell the Bazooka Joe thing means. Randy says that he thought they could have private conversations if a camera wasn't there, so they were trying to talk about their relationship without triggering the appearance of a camera person. And they referred to the camera person as "Bazooka Joe" and that's what he was talking about. That actually makes a lot more sense than anything I came up with, so I'll buy it. Robin says that they just cuddled all the time. Randy says that they were compatible, and Robin adds that she went psycho. They both accept responsibility for what happened, and then hug. Where is the yelling and screaming? These people are way too functional for this show. Vanessa asks if Robin and Mike are still together. Robin says that Mike's been in Iraq since February and asks everyone to pray for him, and adds that she and Mike have stayed in contact. Brad adds that Mike was a great guy, and Robin refers to him as "the eighth roommate" before realizing that it would be ninth now. Charlie cracks, "Mike got more airtime than I did," and everyone laughs. Because it's true.
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“ Jacquese diplomatically says that Frankie and Dave have 'a different kind of relationship' that 'keeps the love going.' Anal sex? I'm seriously at a loss here. ”
Vanessa introduces the Frankie hookup package. We see Frankie and Brad snuggling, Frankie telling Dave that she blacked out, Frankie rubbing up on Randy, Frankie making out with Adam, and Dave whipping Frankie when he came to visit. Frankie confirms that she and Dave are still together, although they had lots of long talks and fights. Vanessa asks what the roommates think about Frankie and Dave, and Cameran calls it "a unique relationship" because "they do stuff that I don't even, I mean." Frankie just laughs. So what? Are they into S&M? Role-playing? What? Frankie chastises Cameran for going there. Jacquese diplomatically says that it's "a different kind of relationship" that "keeps the love going." Anal sex? I'm seriously at a loss here.
Vanessa asks what Jacquese thought of all the hooking up, since he was the self-proclaimed "bootyologist." Cameran reveals that Jacquese hooked up all the time, but managed to do it off-camera. Jacquese can't believe they brought it up. Robin explains that Jacquese got a lot of alone time away from the cameras, and that no one knows what really happened. Jacquese explains that without cameras, he could figure out if people were genuinely interested in him and not the cameras.
After the break, Vanessa asks Robin and Brad if they freak out when they hear sirens now, which introduces the clips of Brad and Robin getting arrested on the same night. Randy thinks it was hilarious that they walked by Robin's squad car, but Brad doesn't think it was a big deal. Vanessa brings up Randy's drunken stupor that night, and Randy says that he doesn't know how he escaped being arrested for public intoxication. Vanessa says that Brad was in the drunk tank twice on the show, and asks how many times it's happened in his life. Brad says it's not a fair question, because he doesn't consider it getting arrested. Brad adds that people were screaming shit at him because of the cameras, but that part was never really shown. Randy thinks the cops should have been controlling the crowds instead of arresting Brad. Frankie adds that she can't believe she and Randy weren't arrested instead. Yeah, Randy already said that, but thanks for showing up, Frankie. Robin says they didn't show her trying to apologize to the Marine, where she tapped him on the head to get his attention and he pushed her hand down. That's where the alleged scratch came from. Robin thought the whole situation was taken care of, so she went into the club and got drunk, and then walked out into an episode of Cops. Vanessa asks Cameran if she felt guilty for causing the situation. Robin immediately says that it wasn't Cameran's fault. Robin says that everyone made fun of her for trying to demonstrate on the copwhat happened with the Marine. Vanessa asks Cameran again if she felt responsible, and Cameran says that she didn't, and that Robin definitely took on the "mother figure" role, which Cameran appreciated. Jacquese says that when Robin called, she was talking smack to the guards. Robin says that the cops were laughing at her, and Jacquese agrees that the cops were bullying her because she was on television.